Are you suffering from an eating disorder? Listen up.
You are so much more than ED. You are more than that voice in your head commanding you to put down that banana because it has too many carbs, to waste hours staring at that little pouch of skin on your lower stomach that won’t go away, to take an adderall just so you won’t feel the need to eat, or even to gorge yourself just so you can throw it all up ten minutes later. You are a human being with both a soul and a body. ED is turning you against your body, she is making you go to war with it at the expense of both your body and your soul. Reclaim what is rightfully yours!
Put your hand on your legs. Feel the bones, muscles, and YES feel the fat. Each one of those things serves a purpose on your legs! You NEED them ALL to run, jump, dance, and live your life as you were meant to. Isn’t that amazing how your body can do all of that? Why spend another day letting ED determine all of this? ED can’t determine your beauty or your worth.
I’m not about to pretend that any of this is easy… because it is not. Living with an eating disorder is terrifying; sometimes it can even feel demonic, like your being possessed by something outside of yourself. But you must try every day to challenge the thoughts and behaviors ED plants into your life. It is poison, and it is out to kill you.
When I look in the mirror I struggle to feel satisfied. I find areas of my body that I must make smaller, or firmer. But at a certain point, a person will chip away at their body until there is absolutely nothing there. That is what I wanted to become and still admittedly struggle with. Some days I want to be nothing. I don’t want to be a Victoria’s Secret model. I don’t want to be a skeleton. I want to be nothing. But I cannot waste myself like that. YOU cannot waste yourself like that! Your body and soul are meant to be here!
ED may always be by your side… but it won’t always be this hellish. I promise. You can defeat this demon each day, and with each defeat you will become stronger and stronger.