tina eat

Napoleon Dynamite for the Signs
  • Aries: "Tina, you fat lard, come get some DINNER!... Tina, eat. Food. Eat the FOOD!"
  • Taurus: "I could wrap you in some foam, or something billowy?"
  • Gemini: "Oh yeah? Who's the only one here who knows secret Ninja moves from the government?"
  • Cancer: "Kay, hold still right there. Now, just imagine you're weightless, in the middle of the ocean, surrounded by tiny little seahorses."
  • Leo: "LaFawnduh is *the* best thing that has ever happened to me. I'm 100% positive she's my soul mate. Don't worry Napoleon, I'm sure there's a babe out there for you too. Peace out."
  • Virgo: "It took me like three hours to finish the shading on your upper lip. It's probably the best drawing I've ever done."
  • Libra: "I see you're drinking 1%. Is that 'cause you think you're fat? 'Cause you're not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to."
  • Scorpio: "Well, I have all your equipment in my locker. You should probably come get it cause I can't fit my numchucks in there anymore."
  • Sagittarius: "Napoleon, don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to be a cage fighter."
  • Capricorn: "They're pretty good, except for one little problem. That little guy right there. He is nipple number five. A good dairy cow should have, like, four."
  • Aquarius: "Last week, Japanese scientists explaced... placed explosive detonators at the bottom of Lake Loch Ness to blow Nessie out of the water. Sir Cort Godfrey of the Nessie Alliance summoned the help of Scotland's local wizards to cast a protective spell over the lake and its local residents and all those who seek for the peaceful existence of our underwater ally."
  • Pisces: "Well, things are getting pretty serious right now. I mean, we chat online for, like, two hours every day so I guess you could say things are gettin' pretty serious."
Read! When your baby is finally down for the night, pick up a juicy book like Eat, Pray, Love or Pride and Prejudice or my personal favorite,Understanding Sleep Disorders: Narcolepsy and Apnea; A Clinical Study. Taking some time to read each night really taught me how to feign narcolepsy when my husband asked me what my “plan” was for taking down the Christmas tree.
—  Tina Fey

Today is National Prom Day and National Tater Day! Celebrate both with Napoleon Dynamite, the breakout comedy hit of the 2004 Sundance Film Festival.

Only recently added to the U.S. National Day Calendar, today marks the very first National Prom Day. Conversely, U.S. National Tater Day dates back to the 1840s and is the oldest continuous trade day in the U.S.

Still and gif courtesy of Napoleon Dynamite

Grease is the Word…

A total feel good playlist to help Tina get up, eat and dance her way through her audition for Jan in Grease


sugar sugar - the archies || can’t stop the feeling - justin timberlake || don’t worry be happy - bobby mcferrin || i want candy - aaron carter || i can’t help myself (sugar pie honey bunch) - four tops || wonderful life (mi oh my) - matoma || happy - pharrell williams || build me up buttercup - the foundations