timothy willis sanders

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a kouple of #klassic book kovers I love

1. Orange Juice by Timothy Willis Sanders
2. Stories // Stories 2 by Scott McClanahan
3. CRUNK JUICE by Steve Roggenbuck
4. selected unpublished blog posts of a mexican panda express employee by Megan Boyle
5. Kadian by Jordan Castro
6. There Is No Reason For Tigers To Be Beautiful They Just Are by Heiko Julien
7. Illuminati Girl Gang Vol 1
8. Moods by Rachel B Glaser
9. i am my own betrayal by Guillaume Morissette

detailed account of february 15, 2013 by Timothy Willis Sanders

Looked at the ceiling and remembered eating octopus with her the night before.
Looked at her back and put my cheek on her shoulder blade. 
Thought “Let’s have sex” and “Do I have a meeting today?”
Thought “No, I don’t think I have a meeting.” and “She’s so beautiful.” 

Sat in a meeting and watched a man speak. 
Sat in an ergonomic chair and thought “Guess I should listen to him.”
Heard the man say “In terms of our value…” 
Heard her say “This octopus is so flavorful” and “I want to feel you.” 

Typed “am just gonna see you party time?”
Typed “i want to buy you the moon. do you need a moon?” 
Read “yeah. im getting sad she’s leaving” and “thank you for having a party for her”
Read “i saw the moon as i was coming over last night. it was a smile.”

Walked into employee’s cubicle and talked about focus. 
Walked around in employee’s cubicle and touched a bowling trophy. 
Said things about focus and thought “He’s smarter than me. Annoying him.” 
Said “Cool, man. Enjoy the rest of your day” and walked to my cubicle. 

Thought “I didn’t see the moon as a smile. I saw it as a toenail.” 
Thought “A toenail. Because I’m a disgusting human.” 
Said “Why are you overheating?” and looked at my Civic’s thermostat.
Said “Piece of shit car” into my Civic’s steering wheel.

Typed “can u pick me up. my car is retarded.” and deleted “retarded.” 
Typed “can u pick me up. my car is dumb.” and tapped send.
Imagined a boy with down syndrome in the backseat of her 244 Volvo.
Imagined her saying “He is not retarded” with an angry expression.

Said “I can’t believe you’re leaving” and hi-fived her roommate. 
Said “Sweet hi-five,” and heard her roommate laugh. 
Glanced at her roommate’s boyfriend and thought “A good dude.”
Glanced at the sky and searched for the moon. 

Danced to “Borderline” by Madonna and held her hips. 
Danced to “I Want to Dance with Somebody” by Whitney Houston alone. Took a shot of whiskey and thought “I should remember to stay hydrated.”
Took a drink of beer and thought “I wish I could murder my car.”

Heard her say “She is a good person to have in my life.” Heard her say “Such a good friend” and watched her wipe away tears.
Put my nose on her cheek and kissed her jaw.
Put my hand on her face and kissed her cheekbone.
Timothy Willis Sanders
90.9 :: 'orange juice and other stories' by timothy willis sanders

‘orange juice and other stories’ by timothy willis sanders // publishing genius, 2012


seems like it took me a good '2 yrs’ to read this book

seems like some copies were made, then there were no copies, then more 'came about’

seems good that this happened eg 'more came about’

without that happening, what would have been?

what would i have thought about?


Keep reading

It has been a year since the re-release of ORANGE JUICE, a collection of short fictions by Timothy Willis Sanders, who is this guy from the republic of Texas. No one knows when a new Sanders book is dropping, but you can read a new story by him in the new print issue of KTBAFC, available for pre-order here.

Timothy Willis Sanders @ KTBAFC website

Friends List

Creates a photo album for every country in Europe.
Posts pictures of the father who died last week.
Works part-time for Joan Didion.
Takes lithium and spies on her boyfriend. 
Goes to an expensive school.
Hates the Ridley Scott film Prometheus.
Leaves her phone charger different places.
Eats at The Waffle House near the airport. 
Talks of when she lived in Thailand.
Works at an Arby’s in Bastrop, Texas.
Teaches yoga in a mini-mall.
Plays Persian music and smokes hash.
Goes kayaking and wears Teva-brand footwear.
Has a tattoo that reads HELL along her neck.
Timothy Willis Sanders

Today I purchased four books. Three are little zines created by Sarah McNeil that I saw a long time ago in person and by chance happened upon again in an etsy store. I feel very excited to receive these. Lately I have been inspired to paper-mache and paint and do things with pens. I wish my sewing machine wasn’t broken.

The other thing I bought was Timothy Willis Sanders’ new book “Orange Juice.” I feel very excited to read it also because I am attracted to deadpan humor and concrete sentences. There is a review of it on HTMLGIANT here. Timothy also operates a twitter that I really enjoy.

Will somebody make crafts with me please.


LaShonda lays in bed and reads “It All Adds Up” by Saul Bellow

LaShonda reads a word she doesn’t understand and sighs

LaShonda closes “It All Adds Up” and walks to her computer 

LaShonda googles the word and clicks “Merriam-Webster”  

LaShonda reads the definition and hears her iPhone vibrate 

LaShonda reads “housewarming tonight?” and stares at her iPhone

LaShonda logs in to Facebook and clicks “Events”

LaShonda searches “housewarming” and clicks “NEW CRIB BITCHES” 

LaShonda reads “52 Attending” and clicks “See All” 

LaShonda sees his thumbnail photo and reads his name

LaShonda clicks his name and looks at his Facebook wall

LaShonda looks at his picture and thinks “new shirt” 

LaShonda sees a video post and reads “Cherice Young”

LaShonda tries to remember Cherice and imagines what a “Cherice” looks like 

LaShonda pokes her navel and imagines a girl with a nice stomach

LaShonda clicks Play and watches a man pet an owl

LaShonda hears the owl purr and smiles  

LaShonda imagines him smiling and clicks “Cherice Young”

LaShonda looks at Cherice’s picture and thinks “an ocean sunset, really?” 

LaShonda looks at the ocean sunset and thinks “bitch must be fat” 

LaShonda clicks the ocean sunset and watches nothing happen

LaShonda unlocks her iPhone and types “yea, im down” 

LaShonda reads “yea, im down” and hovers her thumb over Send 

LaShonda deletes “yea, im down” and writes “not feelin it. j-want ice cream”

LaShonda looks at “not feelin it” and moves her thumb away from Send

LaShonda deletes “j-want ice cream” and presses Send

LaShonda looks at her iPhone and thinks “Cherice Young”

LaShonda lays in bed and opens “It All Adds Up”

LaShonda rereads the word and tries to remember the definition

LaShonda closes “It All Adds Up” and stares at the ceiling

LaShonda thinks “suicide” and laughs

LaShonda goes to sleep and dreams of owls

_ Timothy Willis Sanders http://newwavevomit.com/newwavevomit.com/155.html
On "Boom, I Got Your Boyfriend"

A man opens the video saying,”Girl, you know I love you.”

After ~20 seconds of synchronized dancing, including a man in khakis doing “windmills” in the grass, and a shirtless man humping the asphalt (:40), the artist know as “MC Luscious” claims a romantic involvement with an unnamed woman’s boyfriend.

The artist says the boyfriend saw her at a local gym with his friends. The boyfriend grabbed MC Luscious by the arm and pulled her toward him. He reportedly said, “I will be yours until the day I die,” and “I’ll be with you until the end,” hinting grimly at a suicide pact.

MC Luscious says she found the man attractive, citing his “natural shake” and “low Mercedes” with “boom in the trunk.” She claims the boyfriend kissed her on the cheek, and that he calls every night to say, “I like you a lot.”

It is unknown at what point the man disclosed his prior relationship, or if MC Luscious previously knew of his involvement with another woman.

MC Luscious advises other women to maintain their relationships by keeping their boyfriends in their field of vision every single night. Otherwise, MC Luscious’ sartorial prowess and dancing talents will “show your man what its all about” and cause him to end your relationship.

The artist concludes with what seems like a schizophrenic episode, wherein MC Luscious has a conversation with herself in two different voices.

MC Luscious does not maintain a web presence and could not be reached for comment.
Timothy Willis Sanders

excerpt from 'Infinity Gauntlet' by Timothy Willis Sanders

Jackie looks at Dan sleeping and thinks “I have to tell him.”  She doesn’t want to be naked.  She imagines screaming and jumping out of Dan’s window and landing in the grass.  She looks at her new phone.  Jackie has three texts from Dan-in-Chicago.

There’s a nice smell in Dan’s room.  Jackie looks at Dan’s hair.  She remembers he has nice-smelling shampoo which seems to withstand other smells.  Jackie is afraid to smell her hair.  She thinks “Why is Dan-in-Chicago so bald?”

Jackie thinks, “What the fuck.”  She stares at the ceiling.  Jackie imagines the crack in the ceiling is a mouth.  The mouth says, “Horseshoe.  You took Dan there to tell him about Dan-in Chicago.  You drank too much, idiot.”

Timothy Willis Sanders


Selected Interviews Vol 1

New York Times Book Review: 

Can you share a Christmas memory with us? 

Brett Easton Ellis: 

I went to the very back of my parents’ closet. Under some clothes and boxes I saw a bag. Wrapped inside the bag were two G.I. Joe men and an Etch-A-Sketch. Next Christmas, I went to the same spot in the closet. Under some clothes was a bag, and inside the bag were three boxes. The first box had a note in my dad’s handwriting that read “Nothing Here” and so did the rest of the boxes…I’ve had difficulty trusting people since. 

Cat Fancy: 

Do you prefer living with female or male humans? 

A Cat: 

Well I was coming down off a ~2 hour catnip binge and I’d just laid down in a strip of sunlight on the bed. He came in holding a magazine with a female human on the cover. He laid down next to me. I thought of curling up on his ribs so I could fall asleep to the sound of his heartbeat, when he scooped me up and threw me on the floor. I looked back at him and watched him take something out of the nightstand. I stood there and blinked at him. He made a loud noise that freaked me out so I ran. That’s when I decided to become an artist. 

Butt Magazine: 

Have you ever been in a fight? 

Lance Armstrong: 

Greg went to sit down and I pulled the chair from under him. He fell and I laughed the loudest out of the whole class. He dislocated his hip and chipped a tooth. After school, Greg walked up to me on the basketball court. He punched me in the eye. I knelt, cried, and then ran home. My mother called the cops. I transferred to a different school district. Later, when I was in high school, Greg transferred to my school district. He told everyone how he punched me in the eye and I cried and my mom called the cops. I looked him up on Facebook recently and his tooth is still chipped.


Timothy Willis Sanders


Sweet Potatos

Ben poured a glass.  I took the glass and sat on the couch. I looked at Opie. Opie was staring at two cats. The cats stared at Opie. The cats sniffed at Opie. Sarah’s grandpa sat in a chair. Sarah’s grandma sat in another chair. Sarah and Arthur sat on the couch. Ben and Ann did things in the kitchen. I thought “All couples here.” Sarah’s grandpa asked about Sarah’s iPhone. Sarah handed her iPhone to him. Sarah’s grandpa poked at Sarah’s iPhone. Sarah’s grandma told Sarah’s grandpa not to break Sarah’s iPhone. I wondered when the turkey would be done. I look at the results of my Google search. A tornado touched Bethany. Three people were dead. They found a woman in a tree. Opie yelped. Arthur stood up. The cats hissed at Opie. The cats smacked Opie with their claws and jumped away. Arthur grabbed Opie and sat with her on the couch. The cats stared at Arthur. I was glad my mom didn’t live in Bethany. I decided to call her after turkey. I imagined a woman in a tree without leaves.


Timothy Willis Sanders

“Sweet Potatos” from The Best Alt Lit Stories 2012


books that Zachary German likes

the Stud Lonnigan trillogy by James T Farrell

‘My Romance’ by Gordon Lish

Nicholson Baker’s first couple books

the Rabbit novels by John Updike

'Orange Juice’ by Timothy Willis Sanders

'Waveland’ by Frederick Barthelme

'The Pisces’ by Ben Gocker

(from this interview)