timothy richards

Batjokes Handling Alfred's Time off Headcanons

- Bruce and the kids can’t cook to save themselves from starvation; at some point, after days of Alfred’s absence and takeaway, they’ll even eat Dick’s infamously teeth-rotting pancakes if it means putting something handmade in their stomachs.

- J. finds all of this hilarious, of course, but he offers to make food for them; mind you, it’s not French cuisine but he can do mean toasties and pasta.

- The deal though, is that everyone else has to do the washing up.

- Once Bruce almost flooded Alfred’s precious kitchen so, he was exonerated from the task.

- The kids set up some weird and mildly violent competitive game involving squirt guns filled with dish soap (the idea was Tim’s)

- Jason is disgustingly competitive and not above maiming if it means winning (he’s known for squirting soap in his brothers’ eyes)

- Dick and Damian are the Terrible Duo

- They even set up teams and hung up a score board behind the fridge, well hidden from Alfred’s disapproving gaze.

- The system with which they assign points is not exactly clear and they take every chance to cheat as if there is no tomorrow (Bruce is appalled by their lack of fair play, while J. is not-so-secretly proud)

- Deep under Bruce is pretty happy, though - not only this is a good bonding exercise that makes them have fun and train some of their reflexes at the same time, but it’s also a small accepting step towards J.

- They lost count of the times someone got seriously injured after slipping on the suds covering the floor.

- At the end of each game, J. ends up making hot chocolate (or smoothies, it depends on the season) for everyone.

- Everytime Alfred comes back from his holidays, the kitchen is spotless but he knows his scoundrels well and always goes to check on the score board hidden behind the fridge.

- Because he’s an evil man, he changes the scores and grins at the idea of the boys screaming murder at each other.

- They’re a big happy family.

Hour One : It's Actually Ketchup

Prompt : “I can’t tell if that’s real blood or not.”

A/N : The first of 24 😉

Pairing : Jason Todd x Reader

[•] [•] [•]

For some strange reason, Halloween was the day many psychopaths decide to come out and show their true nature. This meant Jason and the rest of the batfamily had longer patrols, and you only see them afterwards when you had to help Alfred patch them up.

“I’m really considering moving to Metropolis.” Dick grumbled, wincing in pain as he tried to move his fractured arm.

You threw him a stern glare, “Your arm’s broken, Golden Boy. If you try to move it then it’ll put you in even more pain. Unless you want to go through that, I highly suggest you stay still.”

“Jay, your girlfriend is being mean to me again.” Dick complained, laying his head down to try and soothe his headache.

You rolled your eyes as Jason chuckled and held an ice pack to his bruised eye.

“You’re such a child, Grayson.” Damian muttered from beside him.

“It’s better than being like you.” Tim said, adjusting the arm sling Alfred had just placed around him.

Damian sneered and was about to open his mouth and retort, but one look from Bruce silenced him.

“It’s been a long night, don’t argue with each other.” Bruce ordered, rolling his shoulders to get rid of the tenseness in his muscles.

“Babe,” Jason called, “can you wash my helmet?”

You raised an eyebrow and made your way over to his helmet, which had been thrown carelessly on the floor. “Why? Did you fall on your face again?”

“Jason fell on his face during patrol?” Tim gasped, “When?”

“I don’t think it’s any of your business, replacement.” Jason said, glaring at his so-called younger brother. “And you can’t talk, Dick told me you tore your pants once when you were Robin.”

“What the hell, Dick?” Tim exclaimed, swirling around to look at the the sheepish man. “Why did you tell Jason of all people about that? Why did you tell anyone in the first place?”

“Because it’s funny?” Dick said in a questioning tone.

“It does not surprise me that you did, Drake.” Damian cackled, “It only shows who the better Robin is.”

Bruce sighed, and rubbed his temple. Why did he decide to adopt so many kids—no, boys in the first place? All they brought along with them was destruction and endless arguments that usually resulted in violent brawls.

You chuckled as they continued to argue with one another, and bent down to pick up Jason’s beloved helmet. You gasped at the sight of a different shade of red sprayed and smeared all over the bright red color of the helmet.

“Jason!” You said, turning to your boyfriend with the look of utmost shock and held up the object in your hand. “Is that blood? I can’t tell if that’s real blood or not.”

Immediately heads turned his way, and Jason had the decency to look flustered at the attention he was given. “Y/N, I was paired with this pansy,” He said, motioning over to Tim, “do you really think he’d ever let me murder someone under his watch.”

Tim nodded while promptly ignoring the insult, “He’s right for once. It’s actually ketchup. Some kid dressed up as Red Hood at McDonalds didn’t like another person sharing his ‘costume’ so he decided to pick up a ketchup fight with Jason.”

“Thank God.” Bruce mumbled, shaking his head as he felt another migraine coming.

“Wait,” Dick injected, gesturing towards himself and an unhappy Damian, “how could you go to Mickey D’s without us?”

rest in peace to all victims of the columbine high school massacre.


Rachel Scott
Daniel Rohrbough
Dave Sanders
Kyle Velasquez
Steven Curnow
Cassie Bernall
Isaiah Shoels
Matthew Kechter
Lauren Townsend
John Tomlin
Kelly Fleming
Daniel Mauser
Corey Depooter
Eric Harris
Dylan Klebold

you will be missed.