timmy do you have to do this to me too

  • me playing SSH in 2009, young and innocent: wow this is so cool :) i love how detailed the museum is, it feels like it could be a real exhibit
  • me playing SSH in 2017, having worked in actual museums and knowing a little something about How Tourists Do: oh my god. what the FUCK. why is half of your exhibit locked behind doors that require playing games to complete. who the fuck is going to want to do that. crowd control?? hello?? everyone bunching around the games, fighting for a turn, then bunching around the itty-bitty doors, swiping their cards one at a time, to go down narrow rickety stairs?? all while fighting the people going back UP the narrow rickety stairs to find more answers in the exhibit??DISASTER. DISGRACE. and the fucking TEMPLE STAIRS??? henrik's not going to be the only one in the hospital after your first school group tears through there. we're very sorry, mrs. johnson, timmy took a swan dive after his classmates got a little too hype about the whole "human sacrifice" thing. no we didn't have any railings or barriers why do you ask. ACCESSIBILITY??? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT??? EVERYONE CAN DO STAIRS AND NAVIGATE NARROW CORRIDORS, NO PROBSIES. OH YOU CAN'T?? GUESS YOU'LL MISS HALF OF THE EXHIBIT YOU PAID TO SEE, BUMMER. WAIT WHY ARE YOU MAD AT US. beech hill is fucking screwed, y'all. i would not be on that staff on opening day if you paid me a million fucking dollars. pandemonium. anarchy. angry sweaty tourists. rascal rebellion, indeed.
MBTI as Art Majors

ESFJ- Art Education. “Alright, everyone grab some paper and a cupcake! Don’t cry over the broken crayon love, I know you need peach, but you’ll just have to share. Say hi to the school board rep! Wait- TIMMY- PUT THAT PAINT BACK WHERE IT CAME FROM OR SO HELP ME-”
ISTJ- Art History. “If only we could go back to the masters of the Baroque. Do you remember Rembrandt? I do. The Hierarchy of Genres should really be reinstated. Art had standards before Duchamp. It used to make sense.”
ENTJ- Cinema. “Okay, someone hand me the megaphone and clapperboard. We’re going to finish this movie before the deadline and under budget and still win the Oscar for best picture AND give Macaulay Culkin a comeback.”
INFJ- Communication Arts (Illustration). “We’re too commercial for the fine artists, not commercial enough for the designers… *existential crisis* Help. pls.”
ISTP- Craft and Material. “There’s nothing as satisfying as making a simple, well-built table with your own hands. Form follows function, beauty in utility. Also, that wood stain smell is the shit.”
ISFP- Dance and Choreography. “LET ME EXPRESS MY FEELINGS IN THIS MOMENT WITH MOVEMENT IN HARMONY WITH MY ENVIRONMENT.”
ENFJ- Fashion Design. “Now don’t take this wrong hon, but an Empire waist would flatter you more. But you’re always stunning, even as a hot mess, doll.”
ESTJ- Fashion Merchandising. “wHAT DO YOU MEAN THE PAISLEY DIDN’T SHIP TODAY. dO I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING MYSELF.”
INTJ- Graphic Design. “I wanted to art, but more than that I wanted an income. Wtf! A client requested Comic Sans? Why don’t they ever listen in consulting…”
ISFJ- Interior Design. “Is this space well-suited to the daily needs of my client’s lifestyle? Is it comfortable? How much kitsch can I get away with in this decor?”
ESTP- Kinetic Imaging (Animation). “Dude, I could totally GoPro this action sequence and rotoscope it! Hah! I made the hotdog wink at the little boy.”
INTP- Music. “The perfect synthesis of art and mathematics, beauty and rationale, and harmony and discord. *listens to Mahler 6 on repeat* Genius.”
INFP- Painting and Printmaking. “And this singular green stroke of oil isolated on canvas is symbolic of capitalism and the tragedy of the commons. *begins moaning in contemplative sadness as performance art component*”
ENFP- Photography and Film. “I really tried to capture the personal identities of the subjects in this portrait series. I took like 500 of each, I just couldn’t decide on exposure. Ha, how do you manipulate a photo? Pretend it’s your friend.”
ENTP- Sculpture and Extended Media. “So I’m just going to wing this next piece. Maybe some plaster casts and wire and pipes and lights and mirrors, throw in a readymade. Professor will love it, then I’ll be entitled to debating the shit out of the merits of the other pieces, for fun. Can’t wait for crit tomorrow.”
ESFP- Theatre Performance. “Jeeze, I completely BSed that whole scene, I wasn’t even off book. I was so good when I starred in West Side Story. Looking forward to the afterparty for tonight’s performance- I heard there’ll be karaoke! So hype to kill it with my Hamilton.” 

Cosplay or not?

A/n: requested by anon for the dialogue prompts. My hiatus is officially over and this story will most likely suck so sorry in advance.

#9: “I thought we got past this!” “Oh please, we never got even close to past this.” With Timmy.
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