time to pretend cover

10

MBTI & Celebs (x)
Wentworth Miller: INFJ + enneagram 4

“It’s one thing to be depressed, or have to deal with anxiety, it’s another to also have to cover that constantly.

I spent a great deal of my life pouring a lot of time and energy into covering, into pretending that everything was fine.

And now I don’t have to do that, that time and energy I can now put somewhere else. That’s been huge for me personally and creatively.”

2

okay so I was tagged by @flower-taemin to do this bias x selfie tag and I tried to be fake cool so here you go. Too bad the only clothes I own are black so..and I only had a dead flower… #low budget

anyways I will tag @choiminoh @leejinklies @blingjonghyun @tofnew @sataeminism @silverznight and.. anybody else who wants to do this c: of course no obligation!!

Since you’ve been gone I see ghosts from the corners of my eyes (and in mirrors). Looking myself in the face is like looking at a cemetery: crumbling walls, kept looking nice but still dead. You still live under my bed and at night you tell me I could’ve done things differently. When it’s time to sleep I climb under the covers and pretend I’m not afraid of the monster in the closet – or of the monster in the mirror. Or of you.
—  quit haunting me // abby, day 208
A Matt/Foggy rec list

I went through the entirety of the ao3 tags (well, complete fics only) and I bookmarked my favourites…i’m sure i missed some good ones BUT i snagged quite a few, i hope some people get some enjoyment out of this list…it makes me feel worthy and useful to compile these damn things 

I’ll Most Likely Kill You in the Morning - 46, 465 words 
Foggy and Matt never met at school. They cross paths for the first time while working opposite sides of a case, and Matt doesn’t leave an impression beyond the superficial: a blind, pro-bono crusader who Foggy will feel really guilty about having to oppose in court one of these days. Seemed like a nice guy, but no one Foggy will worry about a week later.He has more important things on his mind, like the masked vigilante who keeps cornering him in dark alleys to threaten him for information.

In the City of Blinding Lights - 26,893 words
Matt’s come up with a long list of lies to cover for his night-time activities. Foggy pretending to be Matt’s boyfriend wasn’t on that list for a very good reason.

Boy Wonder - 19,170 words +++
In 1999, Foggy Nelson was the secret weapon in a now-forgotten boy band. Sixteen years later, he meets his biggest fan: music critic Matt Murdock.

Touch Me, Don’t Feel Me - 21,859 words
Foggy struggles to navigate a casual sexual relationship with Matt after the events of season two. It’s predictably complicated.

Hold Me Fast and Fear Me Not - 25,142 words
Something in New York has everyone walking around with iron in their pockets, and it seems like the vigilante they’re calling the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen is at the center of it all. Foggy knows how to steer clear of that kind of trouble, but when the Devil seeks him out, he ends up in the middle of it with him. A Janet and Tam Lin AU.

Easy As Lying - 1,073 words
5 times Matt let Foggy get away with lying to him, and one time he didn’t. (or something like that, idk. just something where Foggy pretends that he isn’t attracted to Matt and Matt lets him, until he doesn’t.)

Ex Delicto, De Novo Ad Infinitum - 12,009 words
From a transgression (consequences of a crime), anew (a restart) to infinity (continuing on forever)

Matt and Foggy get back up again.

jump, check parachute - 11,945 words +++
Foggy Nelson: good at law, terrible at feelings.

Say You’ll Still Be By My Side - 7,291 words
Bless me, Foggy, for I have sinned.

Daredevils Don’t Drink Decaf - 20,553 words ++
“I really, really want to make a joke about bats and blindness. Will you punch me if I make a joke about bats and blindness?” Matt shakes his head, grinning. “Okay, so we’re Superspud and Blind-As-A-Batman.”

In which Foggy uses his law degree to peddle coffee to unsuspecting caffeine junkies, and Matt is his favorite customer. Who may or may not be Batman.

A blessing - 4,516 words
“I can’t wait until we are not-broke enough to afford air conditioning…” He sighed to himself, voice low. “The day we get one, I’ll dance naked in the office, I don’t even care.”

Red Cross - 12,455 words ++
Foggy is perfectly happy being a law-abiding physician with a weakness for cupcakes. No one else seems to understand this.

The Boxer-Puncher - 11,036 words
“Matt, you’re my best friend, but you’re a goddamn idiot sometimes. It’s not about you. I’m not training, I’m not looking to get in a ring or do what you do. I just wanted to know a little more.” He says it fiercely, strongly, right into Matt’s ear like that’ll get it through to him any easier. “It’s not like I’m any good at it,” he adds, which is probably a mistake.

His heartbeat definitely spikes on the lie, because Matt flinches.

if ever joy surrounds you (you have to let it) - 9,323 words ++
“I mean, I did think that maybe vigilantism is actually good for you in terms of, like, self-actualization or whatever, but - have you been seeing a therapist or something? Good talks with your priest?”

(Or, it’s weird how weird things aren’t between Matt and Foggy. Particularly when they’re talking about boners.)

a baker’s mile in your shoes - 12,508 words +++ (I LOVE THIS ONE!!!!)
“Foggy, listen to me. This isn’t going to make any sense at all, but just – just listen. I need you to come by my place and – walk with me over to Murdock’s, because I… need him to tell me how to call in sick.”

Matt Murdock + Brett Mahoney, body swap.

Prayer Beads - 13,728 words +++
Matt doesn’t know if love or lust is the deadlier sin. Either way, he’s going to hell.

The Good Little Wolf - 13,801 words ++
Foggy’s been training for this day his whole life. As long as he follows the Rules and finishes the Story, everything will be perfect.

Tempt Little Red Riding Hood. Eat Granny. Dress in Drag. Eat Little Red Riding Hood. Eat Little Red Riding Hood’s Basket of Goodies. Live Happily Ever After.

Gazelle, Lion, Gun - 22,731 words +++
The Devil of Hell’s Kitchen has got some competition. Sassy sharpshooters do not make good crime-fighting partners, except that they really do.

The Lawyer All the Wickedness - 24,098 words
Matt Murdock is the Kingpin’s right-hand man and a stain on New York City’s legal system. Whatever he wants from Foggy, it can’t be anything good.

So why can’t Foggy stay away?

(my heart) never could lie to you - 28,050 words +++
Foggy wishes he had something more interesting to talk about than cyclists and sharks and dessert samplers, but Matt doesn’t really seem to mind.

Just Our Hands Clasped So Tight - 8,490 words
If there’s one thing Foggy Nelson knows about Matt Murdock, it’s how tactile he is.

Fitter. Happier. More Productive. - 6,325 words
Matt tries to let go. He’s not too good at it.

through the bookcase, imagining a scene - 5,145 words +++
librarian!foggy AU

my name on your lips - 10,084 words +++
It starts when Matt and Marci have coffee. Then Foggy and Claire have coffee. Then Claire throws a Christmas party, and really, it isn’t like Foggy means to keep almost confessing to Matt, but can anyone really blame him?

I Decided This - 5,298 words +++
“I’m contributing yet another lovely sign to our office,” Foggy says, brandishing the finished product with a flourish. Matt can’t see the sign, but he can probably sense the flourish, which is what matters. “It says, ‘It has been ‘0’ days since Matt made an idiotic decision.”

“Doesn’t seem like it will inspire much trust from our clients.”

What the sign instead inspires: debates, understanding, a patented Murdock-level guilt trip, ice cream celebrations, a kiss, and perhaps even a way to finally move forward.

mr houdini you’re a freakshow - 21,087 words +++
You can’t plea bargain out of marriage, Foggy. Consider yourself guilty as charged.

The Brotastic Adventures Of The Avengers And The Long Suffering Foggy Nelson - 23,962 words +++
Where Foggy accidentally becomes bros with the Avengers, Foggy and Matt talk it out, and the Avengers and Matt don’t seem to grasp the concept that the “s” in “friends” is there for a reason.

Call me Emily

Pairing: Steve X reader

Plot: the reader is Sharon best friend and has to go on an undercover mission with Steve where they have to pretend to be a married couple. Things get interesting when Steve notices that the enemy hid cameras in they’re home so they have to act like a couple all the time. Which means they have to pretend they’re having sex under the covers but they get turned on. In the heat of the moment they start having sex for real. The next morning they go into the bathroom where there are no cameras and talk about what happened. The reader tells him that he didn’t cheat on Sharon because he was technically Chris having sex with Emily.

A/n this has a second part with a threesome

“Make sure to check up on him and make sure he eats real food. Not just junk off the street.” my best friend Sharon said as she helped me carry out my stuff for my mission with Steve.

“He’s a grown man Sharon he can do whatever he wants.” I replied before we were in front of the jet. The Pilot got my luggage and started placing it on the jet.

“He hasn’t been the same since Bucky went back under. I’ve had to nag him to go workout because he’s stopped. Please y/n can you take of him?” She begged

“Fine ! ! ! I love you bestie” I gave her a hug before I started to get on the jet.

“I love you too ! ! !” she shouted as I stepped into the jet and took my seat before taking off to meet Steve at our house in Italy. The reason we didn’t leave together was because he wanted to explore Italy a little bit before the actual mission started.

We were going to pretend to be a married couple named Chris and Emily. I don’t know why they wanted me to go on this mission with Steve and not Sharon, they were actually dating. I fell asleep on the plane and before I knew it we were landing in at the airport.

Stepping out off jet there was a black car waiting for me already. I got in and waited for the people to finish placing my stuff in the car before we drove off. I arrived at the place were we will be staying for the next eight months and was impressed. It was small but very cute from the outside.

“Chris it’s me Emily ! ! !” I knocked on the door as I started using our fake name.

“Emily ! ! !” he picked me up and spun me around “I missed you so much sweetheart.” he immediately kiss me, taking me by surprise. “Here let me” he got my luggage and brought it inside the house.

“Well then, that’s one way to greet me” I laughed as we entered the living room.

“Sorry about that” he apologized.

“It’s ok” I looked around our tiny house. “Did you meet the neighbors yet?”

“Yeah, our targets were the first ones to greet me. I told them you were finishing up some business back in the states. They said they couldn’t wait to meet you.”

“Alright well I’ll get unpacking. If you want you can invite them over for dinner so I could get to meet them.” I let out a small laugh.

“Alright I already did the grocery shopping by the way.”

“Did you get real food?” I looked at him suspiciously “Sharon told me you have only been eating junk and she asked me to make sure you eat properly. So that’s what I’m going to do.”

“I’ll go out and get real food then” he looked embarrassed.

“That’s what I thought, I’ll start unpacking myself while you’re gone” I smiled at him as I took my stuff to our bedroom.

A few hours later, after I was all unpacked I started dinner for us and our targets. They we’re Russian spy’s that moved to Italy in the hopes of joining hydra. Apparently they had blueprints for a bomb that could destroy a good chunk of the United States. They had these blueprints as an offering so they’d be able to join hydra. Our mission was to get the blueprints before they give them to hydra.

Dinner was ok I had to laugh at a lot of corny jokes that were told by the husband. Once they were gone Steve immediately took me to the bathroom.

“Wow dude, I’m not interested in doing it the bathroom” I joked as I looked at him surprised.

“That’s not what I was going to ask you to do. They planted cameras all over the house.” Steve explained. “I spotted one by the tv and another in our bedroom.”

“How do you know there isn’t one in here and when did they manage to do that ! ! !” I asked as I looked around.

“The wife must of put the one in our bedroom when she went to the bathroom. The husband must have done the rest when we were all sitting outside looking at the stars. Oh and to answer your other question I guess they don’t want to see us using the bathroom that’s why they didn’t put it in here.” He replied as I leaned against the counter.

“That makes sense” I asked as I crossed my arms.

“It looks like we’re going to have to act like a couple 24/7 then.” Steve leaned against the wall.

“I guess so, but I’m going to tell you one thing. We’re going to have to work on your kissing. You felt so stiff when you kissed me in front of them”

“I’m sorry, I was thinking about Sharon.” He apologized.

“You know Sharon is like a sister to me and I love her to death but right now she doesn’t technically exist. You’re going to have to pretend she’s dead or something because you have be completely invested in this mission.” I bluntly told him.

“You’re right you’re right” he kissed me. “Better?”

“we’ll work on it” I pushed him back as I exited the bathroom. I entered the bedroom where I changed into my pajamas and gave each other a ‘good night kiss’ before we went to sleep.

*time skip*

We’ve been on this mission for three months now and we’ve began to feel like a real couple. Our kissing has improved drastically since we’ve started the mission. It was awkward at first of course, I mean he is my best friends boyfriend and all. But we had to put that behind us and try to make our fake relationship as real as possible. We’d have make out sessions every night either on the couch on on our bed. I would sometimes laugh against his lips when I felt him getting a boner from me grinding on him.

One this we haven’t done though was ‘having sex’ and that was something the wife constantly brought up. She always asked about our sex life, like tonight she kept telling us very sexual things that she does with her husband. Which also prompted her to ask about how many times we’ve done it. I lied of course and she gave me a look that told me she was doubting what I was saying.

“What I’m saying is that we have to pretend to have sex so they won’t be onto us. Actually scratch that, I know they’re onto us. The wife keeps ask about our sex life.” I told Steve while we were in the bathroom together once the targets left our house. “We’ll get under the covers and start making out. Then we’ll take off our pajamas and underwear before you start to “thrust” inside me. We’ll still have to moan and stuff. But you won’t actually be inside me ok?“

"Ok got it” he replied as we left the bathroom. We got into bed and turned on the tv. Lucky (or unlucky) for us fifty shades of grey was on so we could act like we were getting turned on and promoting us to 'do it’. Halfway into the movie Steve turned my head so I could face him and he started to kiss me. I happily kissed him back and I let him slip his tongue in my mouth.

“mmmm Chris” I moaned before Steve got on top of me. I’m not going to lie, I’m really enjoying this.

“You like that Emily?” He asked me as he took off my shorts and underwear before flung them to the other side of the room.

“Yes baby” I responded as I took off his shirt while he took off his sweats and underwear.

“This has to go” I was surprised when he took off my shirt and bra.

“Chris !” I moaned as Steve began to fake thrust inside me.

“I love it when you moan my name Emily” I scratched his back and he began to suck on my neck. I could feel him hardening against my thigh and I couldn’t help but moan in his ear.

“I love it when you moan my name too Chris” I got his face and pulled him into a heated kiss as he was fake thrusting faster. Although the sex is fake the moans were starting to become real with his cock rubbing against my clit.

“Fuck” Steve curses against my lips “I’m really enjoying this”

“Me too, fuck” I cursed back when I felt the tip of Steve’s cock bushing against my entrance. “Fuck me for real Steve” I whispered into his ear and I let out a loud moan when Steve thrusted inside me for real.

“Oh god Emily” Steve began to thrust frantically as he was giving in to his need to fuck me.

“Chris ! ! !” I arched my back and Steve snaked his arm underneath. He pulled me up and flipped us so I was on top of him now. With my hands on his chest I started to ride Steve.

“Oh god I love this view” Steve moaned as he ran his hands up and down my thighs.

“I bet you do baby” I bent down and started making out with him as I started bouncing on his cock. “You like fucking this pussy baby? It’s all yours”

“It is all mine, you’re all mine” he flipped us again so he was on top again, but this time he got ahold of the headboard and started pounded into me rougher.

“Fuck yes I’m all yours Chris, keep fucking me like this. God you’re fucking me good” I closed my eyes and enjoyed having Steve have his way with me. Right now I’m not Sharon’s best friend, I’m the farthest thing from her best friend. I’m fucking her boyfriend and loving every second of it.

“This is so wrong” he whispered into my ear before he bit my earlobe.

“You know you love it” I whispered back as I dug my nails into his back as I was getting close to cumming.

“You’re close aren’t you, I can feel it.” he grunted as he pressed his forehead against mine.

“I’m so close Chris” I bit my lip as I felt one of Steve’s hands playing with my clit.

“Cum, NOW ! ! !” and that did it for me.

“Oh fuck CHRIS ! ! !” I shouted as I came all over his cock and triggering his orgasm.

“EMILY ! ! !” he roared as we continued to fuck.

“Holy shit” I laughed before we started making out. Steve was starting to slowing down until he finally pulled out and laid down next to me.

“Oh how I missed that” Steve huffed out as I curled up next to him, fully satisfied with what just happened.

“I know, let’s never hold out on sex again baby” I looked up at him.

“I’m ready to make up for lost times if you’re ready” he grind before he placed me on top of him

“I’m always be ready for you” I kissed him before we began round two and then round three and then round four.

*The next day*

I woke up in Steve’s embrace, I smiled at myself because of what happened last night. I fucked my best friends boyfriend four times and I didn’t feel an ounce of remorse at all. Grabbing the sheets from the bed to cover my body I made my way over to the bathroom to clean myself off. A short while later there was a knock on the door.

“Can I come in?” I heard Steve’s voice. I opened the door and let him in, I could already see the guilt on his face. “Last night shouldn’t of happened”.

“We were trying to keep our cover Steve, they were getting suspicious as to why we haven’t been having sex.” I responded.

“But I cheated on Sharon and with you, you’re her best friend for crying out loud.” I touched his right cheek.

“You didn’t technically cheat Steve” I tried to rid him of his guilty conscious. “Chris and Emily had sex last night, not Steve and y/n. It’s going to be ok, we will keep this between us.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want you to keep things from your best friend.”

“Trust me, I’ve kept a lot of things from my best friend. Not telling her that I slept with her boyfriend and liking it will just be added to the list.”

“Ok” we remained silent for a couple of minutes.

“So did you enjoy last night?” I smirked at Steve. “And don’t lie Steve, we did it three times”

“We did it four times actually. We had sex four times and to tell you the truth, last night was the best sex I’ve had in my life.” he scratched the back of his head.

“Hahaha I was right, my best friend is bad in bed.” I laughed “you poor thing, you’ve had to fuck her for three years.” I dropped the sheets and made my way over to Steve “How would you feel if we continue this, us fucking.”

“I don’t-” Steve paused when I pressed myself against him

“At least until we finish the mission or we could even continue this when we get back. We could fool around at my place if it makes you feel better. It’ll be our little secret.” I placed my hand on his chest. “Come on Stevie, I know you want to.”

“I really do” he replied before he crashed his lips onto mine. “Ok let’s do it then”

“I’m Captain America’s side chick now” I dropped to my knees and got ahold of his cock.

“No, you’re my doll now.” he got ahold of my hair and I started to give him his first of many blowjobs. I’m definitely happy they assigned me to this mission now.

Howl's Moving Castle AU

So Howl’s Moving Castle stole my heart from Spirited Away. It now owns the spot as my #1 Ghibli film… even though it’s been so long that I barely remember any others.

Now comes the question. Where is my Miraculous AU for this ? I have come armed with a plan :

Chat can be the dramatic yet beloved Cinnamon Roll Howl. He is notorious for ‘eating girls hearts’ when really he does no such thing. He just had enough of girls chasing after him and decided that would ward them off. He is now quite talented at slithering out of anything he doesn’t want to do, including being a court wizard. He guards his freedom with his life after living in a controlling environment as a child.

Marinette is our beloved Sophie. Quite shy and subdued mostly because she is just so tired of her dull life. She loves taking care of her parents legacy, their bakery but clothes and sewing has been her passion. She hopes to one say become a seamstress in her hometown of Kingsbury.

Marinette is off visiting Alya during May Day when two strange men start to bother her. Not used to this type of interaction in so long, she feels quite tongue tied and a little scared until Chat comes and magics them away. He escorts her to the bakery where Alya promptly scolds her, gently, but still still colds her as the wizard could have been Chat Noir.

The witch of the waste, Lila is quite jealous of this interaction and later spells Marinette to be am old woman. Marinette thus embarks on an adventure to get herself back to normal and ends up at Chats moving castle. She gets there with the help of an odd magical scarecrow with orange leaves peeking out from under his tip hat.

At the castle, Mari meets Plagg. A demon who Chat made a contract with. Plagg strikes a bargain with Mari. She breaks the contract and Plagg will break her spell. She also meets Nino. Chats apprentice who is near about her age. Nino seems to know Chat quite well having known him for a long time.

Over the course of the time Mari stays with Chat, she pretends to be his cleaning lady and personal seamstress. She quickly realizes he has quite the flair for clothes. Living in the capital and being the son of a high bred designer leaves it’d mark. (Not that Mari knows that. )

Chat quickly finds out who Mari is despite her not being able to tell him. After an incident where Mari dyes his hair from black to blonde she scolds him and makes him stop acting like a baby.

Eventually the war brewing in Miracula officially starts and Chat, who goes by multiple aliases around Miracula is summoned to help. That just won’t do. He will have no part in a war he is against.

He relocates the castle to the capital where he allows Marinette to run a boutique. With a little help, a few of her designs are brought to life in no time. It’s time he perfect cover.

Chat tries to send Mari to pretend to be his mother and blacken his name so he won’t have to participate in the war. It backfires because as Mari is talking to the royal sorcerer Hawkmoth, she gets angry at some of the accusations being placed on Chat. She reverts to her true form for a few seconds because of her bold action and Hawkmoth realizes she’s in love with Chat as he is with her.

The witch of the waste, meanwhile, has been stripped of her powers by Hawkmoth who gave them to her originally. She no longer poses a threat but the spell on Mari has yet to be broken. The greater her confidence gets, the spells effect reduces. Moments where she is completely self assured is when sneak even manages to reach her true age.

Hawkmoth sends his akumas after Chat even though they’ve hidden themselves. He finds out about their location eventually and reigns terror on them. Chat is weak and at this point has used so much of Plagg’s power he’s practically a demon himself. The toll of being heartless, very literally, has caught up to him.

Chat now has something to fight for and refuses to run from his problems. He protects Mari and Plagg and Nino by fighting the akumas by himself but Marinette isn’t going to let him kill himself. She takes them to the edge of the waste via the door portal where the castle is roaming amd promptly breaks off its connection to her boutique.

Chat nearly dies but Marinette manages to convince Plagg to lead them to him. She ends up seeing his memories as a child of the emotional abuse he faced at home when he was Adrien and the opportunity presented when he found Plagg weak and helpless and decided to save him.

At the end she realizes what to do to break the contract between them so as she fades from the memory, Mari calls out to a young Chat amd tells him to find her in the future.

She returns to chat his heart and Plagg is free but decides to stay with them anyway. The scarecrow Mari had found has been with them and helped them a great deal. To show her gratitude, Mari kisses him on the cheek and it is revealed that he is Prince Nathaniel. He asks for Marinette’s hand but she is too busy with Adrien to realize and Nathaniel understands the situation and doesn’t ask again.

Chat is so happy to have his heart back and he and Marinette share a hug. Nathaniel leaves to stop the war which started due to him going missing. Chat and Mari rebuild their home, the castle and Mari once again runs her boutique. They start dating and even find that Alya and Nino had been seeing each other for a month. They all end up living happily ever after.

I… did not mean to write this much. Any how this is what I’ve got. Not the best and it’s all over the place but i came up with it all on the fly. Hope you enjoyed. If you haven’t see the movie and read the book I 10/10 recommend howls moving castle. It’s magical. Come gush to me about Sophie and Howl any time.

:D

agents (au isaac lahey one-shot)

Prompt: Despite their professional partnership, Saga and Isaac never seemed to particularly like each other. But, under their line of work, sometimes they have to pretend. This time, they’ve got the cover of a married couple.

Requested: “Hey, have you seen the..? Oh.” with Isaac (from this prompt list)

Pairings: Isaac Lahey x Angel

Warnings: cursing maybe, mentions of smut, future newlywed/secret agent sex scenes coming

A/N: this is part one of my secret agent au w Isaac Lahey! I hope you guys enjoy this bc I kinda enjoyed writing it. I really love Isaac tbh. Let me know what you think!

Part II

“I’m sorry ma’am, come again?” I’ve been pacing back and forth in the general’s office for the past twenty minutes, trying to wrap my head around this mission.

“I need you and Agent Lahey to go undercover as a married couple,” General Argent sighs and repeats herself for my sake. “We believe that the couples in the Hamptons are involved in a smuggling ring that could bring down the most vicious drug dealer of all time. You two will be a newlywed, fairly wealthy couple who just managed to snag the mansion of the murdered owner.”

“I am an author, but I’m also an accountant. You are my beautiful trophy wife,” Lahey smirks and blows me a kiss.

“Shut up, Lahey,” I grit my teeth and turn to the general. “If you’re gonna torture me with this mission at least give me a better job. Please.”

“Unfortunately, there’s a very small list of things you can do in this mission,” General Argent sighs and looks through the papers on her desk. “You can have your own online business?”

“That’s perfect. Anything is better than Lahey’s trophy wife,” I visibly shudder and Isaac glares at me.

“You’d be damn–” Isaac stands and raises his voice but backs down when Argent raises a hand to stop him.

“Thank you for your time, Agents,” she stands up and opens the door for us, kicking us out.

“Thank you, General. Sorry about my behavior today,” I briskly walks past her and Lahey does the same.

“Agents?” She calls us and we both pause on the other side of the doorway, turning back to look at her. “Your sexual tension will be great for this mission. Fall victim to it as often as you can.”

Lahey and I stare at her, dumbfounded as she smirks towards us.

“You’ll figure out what I mean in due time,” she chuckles and rests against the doorway. “I’ve got outfits for you both in Saga’s dressing room. Go get changed and then come check in with me before you leave.”

“If you don’t mind me asking, why are both of our outfits in my room, General?” I cross my arms over my chest as Lahey crinkles his brows at her.

“You two are married now. Get used to seeing each other in the nude,” Argent swiftly closes her door as the rage builds inside me.

“So first, she wants us to be married. Now, she wants us to see each other naked,” I mumble under my breath as Lahey and I get into my office. “I feel like I’m a pornstar.”

“You, pornstar?” Lahey scoffs and I glare up at him.

“What is it, Agent?” I throw him a bag with his name on it and he catches it effortlessly.

“I bet you’re all about the foreplay, all about the body worship,” he pulls off his shirt, revealing a toned torso. I groan inwardly, knowing that I’d see this site multiple times a day.

Originally posted by dont-be-such-a--sourwolf

“I’m sorry, what was that?” I pull my own shirt off and turn my back to him, pulling my pants off in the process. I pull a nude dress out of my bag and slip it over my head.

I turn back around to face Lahey and adjust the neckline of my dress. I catch him ogling me before I clear my throat and his eyes move from my chest to my lips and finally my eyes.

“I SAID that there’s no way you’d be a pornstar,” he smirks and comes over to me.

“And why is that?” I lean down to strap on some heels as he watches me, his eyes moving up and down my legs.

“Because I bet you’re all about the foreplay, you want him to praise every bit of you, to tell you how much he loves you,” he whispers and I look up at him, smirking.

“I can’t tell you just how wrong you are, Agent Lahey. Screw the foreplay,” I sit up and finish buttoning up his shirt. I slowly trace my nail up his throat and to his jaw. “And who says my partners in bed are guys, hm?”

I watch him as his eyes grow darker, fists clenching at his sides as he holds back from touching me. Deciding to take it a step further, I rest my hands against his chest.

“You better learn how to satisfy me if we’re gonna act as a newlywed couple, Lahey. We can spend the first day working on that,” I whisper, my breath fanning against the taut veins of his neck. “Ready to go, Agent?”

numenor-moved  asked:

four words: thorin's google search history

“map of the shire”

“map of hobbiton”

“where the fuck is bag end”

“bilbo baggins”

“how to clean out troll smell”

do hobbits make some kind of attractant pheremone” *quickly deleted as soon as typed up, was afraid the answer would be “no”*

“why do elves suck so much”

“warg bite treatment”

“are all hobbits fucking crazy”

“what does it mean if a hobbit keeps giving you food”

voniie  asked:

so is there a post of all the things you love about Elliot coming too? bc that would be great.

HA hA, uh, okay, I am going to… try… to do this… in like, a reasonable and not ridiculous way, but full disclosure: my Eliot Spencer situation is so far from under control that it is truly laughable. Like, this is not so much a thirst as like… a parchedness? That’s not a word. A drought? Basically: I am so, so, so into his whole thing, like, it is taking all my willpower to resist making the “Save a horse, ride a cowboy,” joke because it would genuinely be too real, so. Let’s all go into this with the knowledge that I’m a mess about it, yes? Yes. Okay. 

  • Eliot Spencer is the fucking Swiss army knife of people (also, “PEOPLE ARE LIKE KNIVES,” is a sentence that has come out of his mouth, so I feel he would approve of this definition). He’s a world class fighter in seemingly every style known to man! He’s an incredible chef! Oh, you need someone to become an overnight baseball sensation? Eliot Spencer’s got you covered. You seeking an encyclopedic knowledge of survival skills, munitions, the way agents of various governments and societies walk? Eliot Spencer’s your dude. He can play guitar and sing! He can ride a horse! He can comfort a child! He can calmly talk you through a near-death experience! He can teach Parker to feel her feelings! He can cold-read Nathan “Fuck Off Looking At My True Motivations I’m The Worst” Ford! You got a gun? Any gun? Well he can identify it by the sound it makes while firing and then take it apart, aka FUCK UR GUN. Hardison’s the smartest member of the team, and Parker the clearest thinker/best suited for leadership, but Eliot is definitely the most versatile. 
  • ALSO: THE BIGGEST GOOBER. I think it’s a first season episode where there’s a car bomb? And Hardison’s in the car? And Hardison’s like, “I need to reboot the system,” and Eliot’s like, “You want me to KICK the BOMB??” Eliot you amazing mess of hair and violence and repression and feelings, never change
  • ALSO: ELIOT HAS SO MANY FEELINGS
  • Like. So many. Even though he spends an absurd amount of time and effort pretending not to, and covering them up with bluster and growling and “Damn it, Hardison.” He’s sensitive and prickly and can’t hold out for more than a moment or too if someone (Parker) makes a sadface at him. BENEATH HIS GROWLY EXTERIOR LIVES A SOFT AND SQUISHY MARSHMALLOW. I mean, okay, a really violent marshmallow — like, the marshmallow man from Ghostbusters — but still. 
  • “Food is life. FOOD is LIFE. What is food? FOOD IS LIFE.” 
  • Don’t you even TALK to me about that episode where he goes to see his DAD because of that HARDWARE STORE and he knocks on the DOOR and his dad isn’t HOME and Eliot stands on the stoop with TEARS IN HIS EYES, don’t you talk to me about it, don’t even look at me. GOD.
  • I’ve touched on the Eliot is a natural teacher thing in another post already but he is and he has been throughout the whole series and ughhhh it’s so important to meeeeee
  • febricant and I were just discussing last night that to get his hair like that (and you can trust me on this, guys, I am a Hair Expert) he must spend like. At least a half hour with the blow drier every time he washes it. And that’s just my happiest place, okay, the mental image of Eliot Spencer in like, boxers, holding a hair dryer and a round brush, grooming his mane to maximum luxuriousness. IF YOU DOUBT ME ON THIS, feel free to watch any episode where he sweats a lot, or god forbid gets wet — you can see his hair curl up in response to moisture, which means he has to blow it straight to get it the way it is in most episodes. I BET HE HAS VERY DISTINCTIVE TASTE IN HAIR CARE PRODUCTS. I bet he’s secretly super jealous of Parker, whose hair is like it is naturally, but never tells her because he’s really embarrassed about it. 
  • HE EMBARRASSES EASIER THAN THE REST OF THEM AND WHEN HE DOES IT’S REALLY OBVIOUS BECAUSE HE’LL STAMMER FOR A SECOND AND THEN THROW UP A DEFENSE WALL OF ANGER AND I THINK THAT’S BEAUTIFUL
  • “Well, my insecure ass is gonna be wearing that shirt.” 
  • I mean look it’s not like. It’s any secret. That I have a thing about people who conceal the softest and most tender parts of themselves under layers of grouchiness and pretending not to care and competence, but the softest and most tender parts of Eliot Spencer are softer and more tender than most people’s, because Eliot Spencer is a person with a deep emotional reservoir who has been through SOME REALLY SERIOUS SHIT. So it’s just like, my existing problem amplified x10000 plus all this other crap and hoooooo mama, it’s a real issue for me. A Problem, if you will. 
  • Remember that scene in the kitchen where we first learn that Eliot can cook as he flips a chef’s knife in his hands? No? Do you not remember? Well lucky you because I remember enough for everyone, that moment where Eliot flips that knife is my new sexuality, it’s burned into my eyeballs for eternity. Even right now, as I type this tumblr post, part of me sees the tumblr window, but most of me sees Eliot flipping that knife in the air. Carve Eliot flipping that knife in the air on my tombstone. 
  • He is so, so sure that he is fucked up beyond repair — that the bad things he has done invalidate any good he might ever do — and it kills me. And I mean, by the end of the series I think Parker and Hardison have talked him off that a little bit, but like, I don’t think he’ll ever really believe anything else, and fdjsfhdjkfhsdf
  • THAT’S IT, I HAVE MORE THOUGHTS BUT I CANNOT EXPRESS THEM DUE TO CRITICAL FEELINGS OVERLOAD. Thank you, please try your call again

anonymous asked:

How would Hanbin, Bobby, and Junhoe react when randomly backhug them? :3

Hanbin

Hanbin would probably flinch at first because i can imagine him being so concentrated on his work that he doesn’t even notice you coming up from behind. When he realizes it’s you though, he would smile and turn around to hug you properly. His hands would go through your hair gently and then he would take your head in his hands and give you a soft smiling kiss. Hanbin would take the moment to turn it into a more intimate one.

Bobby

A big goofy smile would be plastered on his face and he would look over his shoulder to say something like aww did you miss me this much, cutie?, laughing. Being the playful Bobby he is, he would turn your around as well, blowing kisses into your neck to tickle you and to make you laugh as well.

Junhwe

Junhwe would be a little surprised and actually very flustered by your actions. His cheeks would probably turn a little pink since he’d like it but at the same time be embarrassed, so to cover it up he would pretend to not freak out inside and say something like yahh w-what are you doing? but at the same time pull you a little closer. He couldn’t hide the little smile on his face though.

- Admin Moyo

Remedies

Based on the imagine: Imagine Kili trying to cure your hiccups

Word Count: 1077

Warnings: None

A/N: a slightly longer one can shortly be found on my blog

You balanced your back against the wall, legs stock straight as you attempted to do a hand stand. Oin had suggested it to you after he had heard your absolutely horrendous case of hiccups, advising you to drink lots of water, try holding your breath, and finally standing upside down. So far you had drank over four cups of water, peed twice (which had caused Thorin to get increasingly annoyed because the Company had to keep stopping) and held your breath for so long your face had turned blue and Bilbo had almost had to resuscitate you.

Keep reading

write. — listen

lump sum bon iver // petrichor keaton henson (feat ren ford) // died in your arms bastille [cover] // time to pretend paolo nutini [cover] // beetle in a box admiral fallow // ouray andy mckee // a drop in the ocean ron pope // pariah king the shins // you’re here trent reznor and atticus ross // flicker lorde [remix] // gotta have you the weepies // home by now bombay bicycle club // down in the valley the head and the heart // life support sam smith // one time marian hill // cruel world lana del rey // the paper trench admiral fallow // wonderland taylor swift // still daughter // crack the shutters snow patrol // the one that never comes asa // proof i am kloot // lived in bars cat power // wicked games coeur de pirate // tell me if you wanna go home keira knightley (feat hailee steinfeld) // shiver shiver walk the moon // just one yesterday fall out boy (feat foxes) // hey lady thriving ivory // jackie and wilson hozier // happily one direction // out of my league fitz & the tantrums // i know places taylor swift

There is a recurrent scene from those dinners that surfaces again and again, like an obsessive undercurrent in a dream. Julian, at the head of the long table, rises to his feet and lifts his wineglass. “Live forever,” he says.

And the rest of us rise too, and clink our glasses across the table, like an army regiment crossing sabres: Henry and Bunny, Charles and Francis, Camilla and I. “Live forever,” we chorus, throwing our glasses back in unison.

And always, always, that same toast. Live forever.

  1. Brightest Minds, Department of Eagles.
  2. Orpheo, Andrew Bird.
  3. House Fire, Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin.
  4. Comptine d'un Autre Été (La Démarche), Yann Tiersen.
  5. It’s Raining Today, Scott Walker.
  6. Cigarettes and Coffee, Otis Redding.
  7. Lullaby, Lord Huron.
  8. Come Together (The Beatles cover), Arctic Monkeys.
  9. Brother, Matt Corby.
  10. Rome, Phoenix.
  11. Runaway Horses (“Poetry Written with a Splash of Blood”), Phillip Glass.
  12. Time to Pretend (MGMT cover), Jónsi.
  13. The Dead Waltz, Radical Face.
  14. Rock'n'Roll Suicide (David Bowie cover), Camille O'Sullivan.
  15. I’ll Walk Alone, Dinah Shore.

    // listen.

how to survive thanksgiving:

1. dodge questions about your dating life by shifting the focus to grandma’s drinking problem

2. avoid your family’s racist comments by drinking until your motor skills stop functioning

3. pretend like you know football by emitting a shrill scream every time someone mentions football

4. avoid awkward questions about your future by saying “i have to go to the bathroom” and then spending the entire night there

5. don’t wear a belt. belts are for the weak

6. trick your body into eating more by swallowing your first plate before your brain knows your stomach is full

7. butter

8. dont waste time on vegetables that arent covered in cheese, marshmallows or gravy

9. pretend mayonnaise is suddenly healthy

10. avoid “why didnt you accept my friend request” questions from family by deleting your facebook

11. immediately attach yourself to the dog and say “she needs me” whenever anybody tries to separate you

12. remember that pie-eating is not a competition. it is war.

2
"Straw-hat! Is he.. really ok!?"
"Hm!? Zoro!? Don't worry about him!"