to everyone who has abusive parents:
there may come a point in your life where you realize that you’re not nearly as close with your parent(s) as you used to be. you may realize that their abuse is the cause of this.
you may also experience feelings of numbness or apathy towards them while spending time with them (willingly or not) or speaking to them. you may not enjoy doing things with them, feeling like you don’t love them anymore, truly. you may feel like when someone asks you if you love your parent, you think: “i have to, they’re my family member.” you may feel as though you miss having a healthy bond with them, if there ever was a time that harbored such.
and that’s okay. those feelings are normal. you may never be as close as you were with your parent prior to the abuse, and that’s okay. you don’t need to pretend to love them if you don’t. sometimes it’s better this way. it doesn’t mean you have to hate them, although it’s understandable if you do. it doesn’t mean you have to never be friendly with them ever again.
healing takes time. if healing means not being as close to your parent as before, then that’s completely fine. you do what you need to do to heal and be happy. you are not alone.