time for chores

So I just did a post about how I manage my time and my daily schedule and such, and I felt like this part is really important and was getting lost in the minutiae of my day, so I made it a separate post. I was talking about various ways in which my life is not necessarily “normal”, like how I go to bed at 7:30, which people treat as one of my eccentricities, and rightly so. But while it is weird it speaks to the crux of my life philosophy, which I’ve spoken about before as regards dealing with anon hate:

My time and attention are finite resources and they have a value I can bestow where I wish. If something is not necessary to survive, does not solve a problem, or does not provide joy, I stop doing it.

I pay my bills and do my dishes and wash my clothes because you have to do those things. I engage in activism and try to stay current on the news because I believe I have a moral duty to contribute to society, and I run because it’s good for my heart and my body. I have friendships, engage in fandom, play the ukulele, write, go to concerts and movies and art galleries because it brings me joy to do so.

Going to bed early solves a problem for me: I wasn’t doing anything useful with that time anyway, I wasn’t enjoying myself or feeling happy. If I wasn’t getting any benefit from that time, how could I put it to better use? Sleeping is beneficial, so I tried that, and it worked; I get more sleep and I don’t miss anything I can’t catch up with. Work doesn’t make me especially happy or fulfill me in ways we could all wish, but that’s okay. Work is necessary to survive, so I do it. I don’t date much because I tried dating semi-recently and the promise of future joy did not outweigh the lack of joy that dating itself brought to my life; it was painful, ugly, and boring, and so I stopped doing it. 

The dating thing may change in the future, if eventually the promise of a relationship becomes more enticing, but it’s an example of how the pursuit of happiness is non-standard, and you are allowed to weigh the cost against the payoff based on your own personal feelings, not on society’s dictates. Because it turns out when you are doing what makes you happy, when you feel joy, you could give two shits about what everyone else thinks should make you happy. 

Sometimes, what brings me joy is sitting on the couch listening to a podcast I’ve already heard ten times and playing a stupid mindless flash game; I often catch myself thinking “I could be doing something more useful, something cooler, something more active” and remind myself “But this is making me happy, and it’s what I’m capable of doing right now.”

“Does this make me happy” or, if you’re struggling with happiness, “Does this calm and soothe me” is a great metric for what you should be doing in life when you are on your own time. It’s a good way to check in with yourself and lead yourself towards a more fulfilling life on your own terms. 

If you are out at a bar with friends, stop and ask, does this make me happy? Because there is no way in which asking that does not help. If being at a bar doesn’t make you happy and if it’s the only time you see your friends, maybe it’s time for a change; you are now free to pursue something that will make you happy. If being at a bar doesn’t make you happy but your friends do, and this is one way to bond with them of many, then it’s a cost with a later benefit, and you’ve now become conscious that while you aren’t happy right this minute, you are paying into future joy. And if you like being out at a bar with friends and are having a good time, then you’ve reaffirmed to yourself that you are happy and this is where you want to be. And affirming that you are feeling joy is a great thing to do. 

You don’t have to be happy all the time – but on your own time, when work and chores and the duties of the day are done, you should devote yourself to finding joy in whatever form that takes, be it a nap or a party or a date or your kids or, I don’t know, watching people make fake food on YouTube. 

Believing that your time and attention have value and should only be bestowed on the worthy means coming to believe that you have value, which is so hard to do that I’ll take any shortcut I can get. Devoting your time time and attention only to what is necessary or what is pleasurable means learning a great deal about what you value, and I truly believe leads you to a more fulfilled life.

So when people ask me about time management, I have real tips and tricks to offer – but I think the most important think I can offer is the suggestion that whatever time you have, you should believe it has value because it is yours, and you should direct it appropriately. 

"Oh your father is so cool!"

Teddy, James, Albus, and Lily hearing this over time and just thinking of their father at home cause:

-Harry once tried to convince them that if he grew a beard he would be more modern (which resulted in his normal stubble but with god awful hair patches)

-Harry had a worn out shirt he would wear all the time and whenever it got into the wash he would do laundry, chore chart be damned

-Harry getting them the merchandise with his face and trying to convince them that he is ALWAYS WATCHING

-Harry trying to set up a date with Ginny but forgetting to call a babysitter so he brings the kids with them (and date night at a fancy restaurant turns into date night at the park with over-fried food and lots of mud in the house)

-Harry trying to convince his kids to make a secret hand shake with them

-Harry and Uncle Ron falling asleep in the living room 5 minutes into the television program

-Harry bringing up he died a few times when they complain about chores.

“When I was your age a murderer had escaped from Azkaban and trying to finish me off cause I did Voldemort in.”

“Arn’t I named after that murderer?”

-Harry wearing Ginny’s Quiditch shirt (despite it being to small)

“I love the support dear, I do, but can you not stretch my shirt?”

“…it won’t come off.”

-Harry trying to do yoga

-Harry coming down every morning with a big grin on his face because he loves his kids so much and would obnoxious kiss them all on the cheeks

-Harry making faces in the mirror as he brushes his teeth (convincing the closest child it’s more effective)

(Celebrating when Albus starts doing it with him)

-Harry once showed Lily how to shave by shaving his own leg and walking around with one leg shaved despite complaints by older children and wife.

“If dying has taught me anything it’s to be yourself.”

“Oh my god Dad just stop wearing shorts.”

-Harry using him ‘dying’ as a reason to do anything really


Feel free to add more, but I’m 10000% convinced that Harry Potter is not the cool dad

Twilight sky, slowly crawling in, plunges the day into darkness and shatters the sunlight into a million of stars.

When was the last time we sat together under the same sky ?

Happy birthday to the best twins !

What I Read This Week

(19/3/17)

Since I’m on holiday, I got to read SO many wonderful fics this week!

how the mighty fall (in love) by braveten, Gen, 28k
Every Victor Nikiforov fan has three things in common.
1. They have unrealistic expectations for romance.
2. They mark their calendars with the dates of his newest book releases and the premieres of his latest movie adaptations.
3. They either passionately hate or love his greatest rival, a mysterious author whose pseudonym is only two letters: “KY.” Just finished yesterday!

The Boyfriend Experience by cryingoverspilledvodka, Explicit, 107k (WIP)
Katsuki Yuuri is an accomplished escort at 23, operating under the pseudonym Eros, in Detroit. When one of his favourite clients sets him up with none other than world-renowned figure skater Victor Nikiforov, the delicate balance between Yuuri’s personal and professional life teeters ever closer towards ruin. Y’ALL…. this fic is gold

Twenty-Five Hours by 0lizzybennet0, Mature, 14k (WIP)
In which Yuuri spends a 25 hour flight next to Victor Nikiforov, skating legend, and feels it might simultaneously be the best and worst thing that has ever happened to him. EVERYONE MUST READ THIS FIC IT IS SO GOOD

Nerve Endings by Phyona, Explicit, 54k (WIP)
When Yuuri moves in with Victor in St. Petersburg, they have to work through Yuuri’s anxiety and Victor’s secrets to find their balance. Love this fic so much!

Like a Fairytale by lucycamui, Teen, 48k (WIP)
In which Prince Victor gets swept off his feet at a royal banquet and will go to any length to find his ‘Cinderella’ Yuuri. SO CUTE

Masquerade by Ashida, Explicit, 60k (WIP)
Yuuri is part of Japan’s most notorious mafias. Victor is the head of the Russian mafia. After brief meetings throughout the span of five years, they decide to go off together and leave everything behind. I AM OBSESSED WITH THIS FIC!

On My Love by RikoJasmine, Teen, 72k (WIP)
Time travel AU where Yuuri and Victor are happy aged and married, but an accident occurs and suddenly Yuuri wakes up back in Detroit, in a time before he had even met Victor. Angst and pining ensues. Amazing fic!

dear true love by cityboys, Teen, 36k (WIP)
Victor is a writer pretending to be on a break; Yuuri is a pianist pretending to not be on a break. They meet, somehow, in the backwaters of Saga Prefecture, Japan. I adore this fic!!!

Turn it, leave it, stop, format it by ebenroot, Explicit, 19k
“If you want, I can recommend you some security programs that you can download for free and protect your computer. That way, you won’t be at risk of losing these cute photos of your dog even when you browse websites like ‘Luscious Lonely Wives’.” Victor gives one long ‘haa’. “I don’t browse those websites,” he says through his straining smile. SO CUTE AND FUNNY!

Beside the Dancing Sea by lily_winterwood, MapleTreeway, Explicit, 186k
New York Times-bestselling author Viktor Nikiforov arrives in the sleepy seaside town of Torvill Cove to cure his writer’s block. After encountering local wallflower Yuuri Katsuki at a party, he discovers that this mysterious dark-haired man has a couple secrets up his sleeve. Amazing fic!

From Russia, With Thinly Veiled Hate by diogcnes, Mature, 1.2k (WIP)
“The name’s Nikiforov, Viktor Nikiforov.”
“Jesus, Viktor. Do you have to say that to every mark we meet?” I can’t wait for more!!!

Rock, Paper, Scissors by nerdlife4eva, Mature, 3.3k
Victor and Yuuri discover the only chore they both dislike is vacuuming and decide to rock, paper, scissors (RPS) each time the chore needs to be completed. Yuuri is an ace at RPS and Chris sends them personalized charts to track their successes. Super funny!

turntables by Vitali (exocara), Teen, 4.3k
It happens approximately one week after Yuuri’s disastrous performance in Sochi.
Viktor Nikiforov @v-nikiforov
I wish I could date pretty black haired boys who dance well. LOOOVE THIS

cover story by fan_nerd, Explicit, 8.2k
Yuuri stares down at the person standing in the doorway. The stranger hisses, “Who do you think you are, anyways?” Quickly, before he can really think about it, Yuuri responds, “I’m Victor’s boyfriend.” It’s a lie, but the words feel good in his mouth, and for some reason, he doesn’t want to take them back. GREAT fic! BIG THUMBS UP!

(˃̶͈̀_˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾( ノ_ಠ)₍₍ (̨̡ ‾᷄♡‾᷅ )̧̢ ₎₎

Here’s to another week of great fic reading! Be sure to give the authors some love!

Being Roommates with Overwatch Characters:

Genji: Very quiet and respectful, never eats your food. But he never sleeps, so that can get awkward. Sometimes he does his ninja training in the living room at like 3am. When you go down to yell at him he has mysteriously vanished…

McCree: Super friendly, super messy. He will always invite you into his room to watch this cool video he found on YouTube that you’ve certainly already seen, but he just found it. He thinks the fridge is more of a communal zone. You can take his food, and he can take your’s. He prefers to cook meals to share though, not that he’s any good at cooking. Is often hungover in the mornings.

Pharah: Isn’t home a lot. She’s very focused on her career. Her interactions with you are very formal at first, kinda stiff and awkward. It will either stay that way forever, or one night of drinking and video games will break the ice and give you a million inside jokes.

Reaper: Just the worst roommate ever. The second he’s done with something, he drops it on the ground. Beer bottles? Check. Towel? Yep. Laundry? You once found a pair of his boxers in the refrigerator for fucks sake Reyes, why is this here? NEXT TO MY MILK! He always claims he was the last one who did dishes. He never does dishes.

Soldier 76: The weird roommate you met through Craigslist who seems quiet and reserved at first, but once he gets going on his conspiracy theories and how THE SYSTEM IS BROKEN he will never shut up. Constantly plays CoD on the couch. Never seems to go to work, but always pays rent on time. Does the chores with military precision.

Tracer: Lives outside of time, quite literally. So be prepared to remind her of appointments, when rent is due, that it is not in fact the weekend so could she stop playing Just Dance so loud past eleven? It’s frustrating, but she’s so much fun to be around you forgive her.  She is on first name basis with all the bartenders in the neighborhood, and drinking with her is always an epic adventure.

Bastion: You bought this old thing on eBay. They said it was non-functional, but it immediately sprang to life in your apartment. It spends all its time out on the balcony, where a flock of birds have made it their home. Every once in a while you wake up in the middle of the night to find it crouched in the corner of your room in turret mode. Then you realize someone was being loud outside and it got scared.

Hanzo: There are two Hanzos. Calm, collected, brooding Hanzo, and I’LL TELL YOU WHEN I’VE HAD ENOUGH SAKEsshdhshjkfk Hanzo. Hanzo is normally very organized, his room his spartan and he made a chore schedule that he treats like it is law. But about two times a week he gets shit faced on expensive sake, cries about his brother, tries to fight a house plant (claiming it knows nothing of honor when he falls on his ass), and ends the evening on the balcony, pegging passersby with perfect precision with YOUR HOTDOGS THAT HE STOLE FROM THE FRIDGE, HANZO COME INSIDE.

Junkrat: Just, an absolute disaster. Your apartment has become a junkyard. Scraps of machines all of the place. And it smells terrible because he’s constantly mixing weird chemicals in the bathtub. You’ve started showering at the gym, and are terrified when you have to pee. You’ve had three minor fires in the place since he moved in, and you’re pretty sure he’s a criminal. You’d call the cops, but his… boyfriend? You’re not sure. His giant man partner keeps coming around and staring at you silently and you’re just trying to stay alive, okay?

Mei: Is terribly sweet and friendly, but messy and forgetful. You can’t get mad at her, because she always apologizes profusely when she forgets to do the dishes or take out the trash or that this is her week to buy toilet paper. She’s often wrapped up in her work, and loves to go on exuberant explanations of the science involved that you don’t even half understand. But you smile and nod along. She’s just so excited, you can’t interrupt her. Her bedroom is cluttered with items she collected from her travels and adventures, mixed with scientific equipment and climbing gear. She always wants you to come on nature hikes. They are beautiful but exhausting. That girl has boundless energy. The only time she gets mad is if you try to throw away a recyclable.

Torbjörn: He is constantly making noise, hammering, laughing like a maniac, riveting??? WTF is he doing in his room???? He’s very cranky and opinionated (do not bring up Omnics, trust me), but after a few beers he has some of the most amazing stores you’ve ever heard. He keeps his mess to his room and only forgets to do his chores every once in a while. But food in the fridge is going to disappear and he’ll get very defensive when you ask him about it. Also, long golden beard hairs! EVERYWHERE! in the bathroom! Clean out the drain when you’re done!

Widowmaker: The most intimidating person you’ve ever lived with. Hell, ever met. She will walk around in nothing but a towel, but it’s actually kind of terrifying? Like she’s daring you to say something to her??? You’re pretty sure she’s killed at least two people in the neighborhood. No one can prove it. You feel like she’s constantly watching you in your room… you’ve looked for cameras and found nothing. She leaves for days at a time, and then suddenly appears silently in the middle of the apartment. You didn’t hear the front door open????? WTF IS HAPPENING???? She leaves all the chores to you, will pretend she only speaks French if she’s not in the mood to talk to you. You’re pretty sure you’re going to be found dead in the bathtub and there will be no records of your roommate…

D.Va: Almost never does chores, acts like she did you a favor when she finally washes a single dish. Is constantly live streaming from the couch. You haven’t been able to watch TV since she moved in. She invites you to play games just to utterly destroy your ass at them. She got sponsored by Doritos and Mountain Dew so now the apartment is full of that crap. She acts like that’s her contribution to groceries because she saw you eat a chip. You thought she hated you until someone on her stream called you a loser and she tore them a new asshole. Is this what having a sister is like???

Reinhardt: Snores like a freight train is rumbling through the apartment. You can hear it through the walls. Through your earplugs. Nothing helps. He is incredibly helpful and friendly though. Always does his chores, does a few of your’s if you don’t stop him. Loves to cook dinner, but will always make the weirdest German fusion food. Any nice thing you do for him gets the most enthusiastic thanks that it makes you want to do nice things for him all the time.

Roadhog: You’ve seen some shit, man. Shit you can never tell anyone. Mostly because it would damage Roadhog’s bad ass reputation, and you will not make him angry. His room is full of plushies. He sleeps on them in a big pile. He spends all day playing Animal Crossing and he helps paint your nails. His weirdo boyfriend? You don’t know, small manic man partner comes over sometimes, but you managed to get them to not set off any explosions in the house(by claiming to protect the plushies). When Roadhog first showed up, you were terrified. But he’s turned out to be a really sweet guy. When you’re not on his shit list. You will do anything not to get on the shit list… A UPS driver damaged his limited edition Rainbow Sparkle Bear, and you heard the screams……..

Winston: Spends all his time in his room on his computer. He’s nice enough when he comes out, but that’s usually only for more peanut butter. He’s kind of shy and awkward around you at first, but one day you ask about the glory days of Overwatch, and you get a story hour of epic proportions. After that he is your buddy. Tracer comes by sometimes, always bringing a fresh batch of bananas. Winston tries to act insulted, but you always catch him eating them later. He forgets to do his chores, a lot. He always promises he’ll get around to them. After this experiment is finished… It never gets done.

Zarya: Your living room is now a gym. She moved in a professional looking weight set and bench. “This is just for casual,” she tells you. She constantly makes “helpful” remarks about your physique. She thinks if you just did some deadlifts, your legs would be much stronger. Much more solid. You are like noodle. She tries to train you on the weight set in the living room. She proves that she can benchpress you, and then gives you some fifty pound weights “For a warm up”. May god have mercy on your soul.

Lúcio: Just the nicest roommate ever. He will sit on the couch with you until 3 am talking through your problems. He baked you a cake on your birthday. Is it your day to do chores? He saw you weren’t feeling well, so he just did them this morning. Don’t worry about it, fam, I got you. He only asks you for things on behalf of others. Will you help him organize a fundraiser for the local kid’s soccer organization? Come to a protest to improve the working conditions in factories? Could you maybe drop off this extra portion of dinner to the old lady next door on your way out? Say hi to her cats for him. The only thing that can be annoying is he can get lost in his music and forget that it’s super late. But when that wakes you up, you usually just go and sit down in his room and watch him work on his latest tracks.

Mercy: You really won’t see her that often. She is an incredibly overworked doctor. She is a very kind and patient person, but you can tell she is constantly bone tired. You don’t even ask her to do chores, you just do them all yourself. She barely ever uses dishes or makes a mess anyway. She leaves you little cakes she bought at the bodega as a thank you every now and then. Most of your communication is through post it notes, as you are often on completely different schedules. She seems nice, but you don’t really know her.

Symmetra: Everything has to be just so. She doesn’t even let you do chores, she doesn’t trust that you did them right. She will say the bathroom is filthy when it looks sparkling to you. She is constantly creating little robots to do work for her, so you don’t feel too bad letting her clean? She is incredibly sheltered, and can get hostile when you challenge her world view. But at the same time, you can tell she’s lonely and hurting. With small gestures here and there, maybe you can become friends.

Zenyatta: Just, the chillest bro you have ever met. He floats around the apartment and doesn’t eat anything so he doesn’t cause messes. He still helps with the chores, because it is more balanced that way. When you go through a break up he will listen and give you advice that honestly makes you feel better. He invites you to mediate, and makes it sound like a really great activity. His pupil, Genji, is always coming around. Zenyatta is so happy to see him. Neither of them eat, but Genji makes you ramen sometimes and its SO GOOD. They are both cinnamon rolls, and your life is better for knowing them. Occasionally Zenyatta knocks something over as he floats by, but that’s about the only drawback.

Mbti Types as Grandmas

DISCLAIMER: I’m not even sorry lol, hope it’s a fun read at least  ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

ISFJ: the ‘cookie baking, scrapbook making, sits on the porch with grandpa staring at the sunset then straight to bed’ grandma

INFJ: the ‘sweater knitting, money giving, ‘oh honey, it’ll all be okay’’ grandma

ISFP: the ‘pottery painting, salsa dancing, retired composer but music never retires so I’m just gonna continue composing anyway’ grandma

ESFJ: the ‘Thanksgiving dinner organizing, grandkids’ gossip subscribing, you just know she used to have a pilates butt’ grandma

INFP: the 'outdoors fearing, nagging grandkids to call everyday, I’m still learning how to use Twitter/Facebook/this smartphone which isnt very smart btw’ grandma

INTJ: the 'book reading, random stuff collecting/hoarding, strategic gambler that somehow wins every time’ grandma

ISTJ: the 'diligent chore doing, every Wednesday at 3pm bingo playing, been attending Sunday mass for 70 years now and a hip replacement ain’t gonna stop me sucka’ grandma

ISTP: the 'kitchen fire starting, 4 dogs owning just because the grandkids’ parents won’t let them have dogs, can teach level 2 water aquatics even better than the instructor’ grandma

INTP: the 'has random bruises everywhere from banging their knee on the desk accidentally repeatedly for 60 years, too awkward to converse with grandkids, sleep inducing tenured professor who refuses to retire because RESEARCHHH’ grandma

ENFJ: the 'book club organizing, soup kitchen volunteering because who else will train the new generation how to be compassionate, insightful advice dispenser 27/7 but also guilt trip queen’ grandma

ESFP: the 'colourful outfit wearing, sassy insult giving, all of your problems can be solved with a little bit of alcohol honey’ grandma

ENFP: the 'adventurous recipe trying, canes-slow-me-down claiming, will call you at 9pm before their bedtime once a week just to check up on you’ grandma

ESTJ: the 'Rolls Royce driving, strict budget money spending, 50+ rich AF but refuses to quit working until their limbs break off’ grandma

ENTJ: the 'boat driving, grandkids yelling, 50+ wealthy AF but still doesn’t wanna retire because everyone would be doing her job wrong’ grandma

ESTP: the 'quite young looking for her age maybe it’s maybelline, ex professional athlete now training all the young nubs, giving out weekly sex advice on a very very popular youtube channel’ grandma

ENTP: the 'savage/sassy/song lyric debating, fourth most likely to be still having active sex with sexy grandpas, somehow made a million dollars early in life’ grandma

1. Neosporin is really good for stretch marks.  (for people who dislike them but always know that there’s nothing wrong with having stretchmarks!)
2.  Clean rooms bring good energy. Open your blinds and turn some music on a get to work. You will feel great!
3. The first thing you should drink in the morning is water, nothing else. Try to drink three cups throughout the day. It not only helps you lose weight but clears your skin.
4.  Sometimes you just have to read certain shit and not respond, not everybody deserves to hear your answers.
5.  Face masks are great. Find whichever kind you think you’ll like best and put it on after you take a shower and just chill in bed.
6. Too much coconut oil clogs your pores. Use it wisely.
7.  Going to bed at a decent time is cool. Don’t let your phone distract you, the earlier the sleep the more energy you’ll have the next.  More sleep = more motivation to get your work done. just do it.
8.  Naps are good and sometimes it’s okay to not do that one page of homework and call it quits to get rest.
9.  If you hate just plain water and you can’t stand drinking it put lemons and other fruits in it.
10.  Water with lemon cleans your system out nicely and makes you urine more.
11.  Eight tracks is a good app for new music and playlist. If you haven’t used it try it. Music always makes things better.
12.  Keep your private life to yourself or else you will have to face other people’s ugly comments.
13. Try to read at least 5 books this year or more, especially if you don’t like reading. Reading benefits you in many ways, you will be proud.
14. If you have the time to get chores or homework done then do it, don’t tell yourself you’ll do it later. 
15. Invest in good bath products, soaps and bath bombs and bath oils. they will do your skin wonders.
16. Invest in good hair products too, make sure you buy things for your hair type. 
17. If you want to have sex then have sex and do you, forget the comments. Bring your own condoms if you must.
18. Be friends with who you want to be friends with. You don’t have to be friend everybody.
19. Always stick up for yourself, but if you are wrong and you are being told so, take time to think and accept it.
20. Keep an extra pair of panties, pads/tampons, chapstick and headphones on you just in case.
21. Cranberry juice, yogurt, pineapples, apple juice and just natural sweet things in general.. eat it. I hope you catch my drift.
22. Mens shaving cream works better than woman’s, it makes you skin softer and hair stays gone longer.
23. Men’s razors provide a closer shave. Invest in them.
24. Buying lingerie or pretty undergarments in general will make you feel so much more confident.
25. Sometimes it’s good to just listen to people talk and let them talk for the sake of you not arguing and loosing brain cells.
26. Everybody should take a bath a few times out of the week or months. Baths open your pores and yes showers are cool but baths are A1.
27.  Always put on lotion after you finish bathing too. You want your skin nice and smooth at all times.
28. Save your money. as soon as you get it the first thing you shouldn’t buy is food. buy things that will last and benefit you.
29. Mind your own business. Who cares about what the next person is doing? Just do you. 
30. Organize your closet.
31. Always be nice to people who are always nice to you.
32. Compliment other people. It’s good to uplift anybody. If you think somebody’s shoes are cute just tell them.
33. Treat yourself to pasta and something nice to drink on Friday nights after a long week. Pasta makes everything better.
34. Just learn to love yourself and who you are as a person.
35. You have a right to feel whatever emotion you feel, don’t judge your emotions.
36. If you are sensitive and people bash you for it, don’t listen to their ignorant words. Sensitive people are usually emphatic.
37. Make a grocery list before you go shopping regardless of how lazy you are.
38. Take walks. If you feel bad and need to breathe, plug in your headphones and walk. They clear your mind.
39. Keep a journal and write in it whenever you feel as if you have nobody to speak to. It’s a good way to get rid of things inside.
40. If you’re confident and you think you are the shit then you keep doing that. Or fake it till you make it.
41. Embrace insults. If somebody calls you a name turn around and flip it. People hate to see you unbothered.
42. Try to use natural/organic and cruelty free skincare/haircare products. Limit nasty chemicals, it’s good for both you and the environment.
—  Tips on how to feel better and look better by @contourkits
Getting through a 'downswing'

Following [this post], I’d like to write about what to do during a magical or spiritual downswing.

A downswing is a period of magical or spiritual “night”, when abilities and powers seem to be dampened or lost, and the natural connection is weakened. A spiritual dark night is to be expected in the path of any practitioner. A downswing can last for days or weeks.

I am currently in a downswing where I am required to take a magical “break” and not force my abilities. So here’s a list of stuff to do while in a downswing, to keep yourself spiritually aligned and focused on positivity.

MEDITATE on positivity, love, and peace. Engage in meditations once or twice daily. Take the energies from this meditation to carry you throughout your daily life.

REFLECT on your spiritual path as it was before the downswing. Ask yourself what could be improved, what could be added, what could be reduced, and what could be taken away entirely. Closely examine your spiritual and magical paths and ask yourself what can be changed for the better.

MUNDANE FOCUS on your physical life is useful and positive during a downswing. Catch up on chores. Deep clean. Spend more time with IRL friends. Put more focus in to work. A downswing is an excellent time to seek physical balance.

SELF WORK is a good idea as well. Make your downswing a time of resolutions. Work on breaking bad habits and adopting new, positive habits.

SCHEDULE your time. This is especially useful if, like me, magic and spirituality is a huge part of your life. Fill up your time with mundane chores, tasks, and relaxation time.

PLAN AND ORGANIZE your time for when you are done with your downswing. Dissect your magical and spiritual practices. Organize your spiritual practices and have a solid plan for where you want to go when you are done with this period of reflection.

CATCH UP on life! Make a list of the five biggest mundane tasks you need to tackle. Focus on catching up and getting ahead in life.

ACCEPT that this is a necessary and normal period of time that pretty much every spiritually aligned person goes through. You aren’t losing anything. You are not lost. It’s just night time. Dawn is coming on the horizon.

Remember that a downswing is like a break from intense spiritual and magical connection, leaving you time to focus more on the physical and other aspects of your life. Do not think of it as a loss, rather think of it as simply a break or vacation.

anonymous asked:

Tips for keeping my apartment clean? Tips for motivating myself to finish unpacking?

Apartment Cleaning 101

1. Make a list. Start by making of list of everything that needs cleaning in your apartment. I like to let lists like these sit out for a day or two, to adjust and add to them as need be. Give yourself a couple days to brainstorm, and try to prioritize chores based off of how time consuming they are.

2. Chore frequency. You’ll notice that some chores become more time consuming the longer you wait to do them, while others do not. Dishes are a prime example- I try to get them done twice a day at least. Vacuuming my apartment, on the other hand, always takes around the same amount of time, so it doesn’t really matter when during the week I do it, just so long as I get it done! 

3. Chore schedule. Basing this next bit off your findings above, plan your “chore schedule”. If you live with roommates and will be dividing chores, you may find it easiest to actually create a hardcopy of a schedule. You’re looking to divide this into three categories:

  • Chores that need to be done every day: Dishes for example
  • Chores that need to be done once a week: Vacuuming or mopping for example
  • Chores that need to be done once a month: Cleaning your refrigerator or closet for example

If you are a pet owner or live with multiple people, you may need a fourth category called “chores that need to be done twice a week”. Things like changing the cat litter or doing a load of laundry.

 4. Divide and conquer. I’m adding this bit for those of you who live with roommates and/or significant others. You can look at doing chores two different ways:

  • Every man for himself (you do your own dishes, your own laundry, you’re responsible for vacuuming your room or living space)
  • Division of labor (my boyfriend cooks, so I do the dishes)

Find a happy medium for all parties concerned, especially if you’re splitting chores with someone you’re sleeping with. I do think it’s important to take into account each person’s business in terms of their work and school load. On days when my boyfriend works eleven hours, I don’t mind picking up the slack and vice versa.

5. Cleaning floors- the complete guide.

  • Wooden Floors
    • Vacuum
    • Mop
    • Allow to air-dry
    • Use a hardwood cleaner (like Bona) to get any difficult spots out
  • Tiled Floors
    • Vacuum
    • Mop
    • Allow to air-dry
    • Use a bleach-based cleaner (like Clorox) to get any difficult spots out.
  • Carpeted Floors
    • Vacuum (use the vacuum’s highest setting)
    • Use an all-purpose cleaner (like Meyer’s) to get any difficult spots out.

6. Mopping. Forget about mixing your own bleach-based chemicals and using one of those raggedy anne mops. Get yourself a Swiffer Wet Jet to save yourself some serious time and headache. Buy the generic brand pad refills for a fraction of the name brand price!

7. Vacuum. You’ll make your life 100x easier if you find yourself a semi-expensive vacuum that doesn’t require vacuum bags. This is my vacuum and I love it. 

8. Wood floors vs. Carpet floors. I personally prefer hardwood floors because they just have a nicer “foot feel” than their counterparts. However, they do require more upkeep than carpet floors, because you can actively feel them getting grotty as your week progresses. Thick carpet is more time-consuming to clean, but you can go two weeks without properly vacuuming and nobody will be any the wiser because the grime just blends in. Disgusting but true.

9. Scented garbage bags. Literally cost the same as regular garbage bags, but help you trash smell fresher for longer. I like to wrap any disregarded food bits (chicken bones, rotten vegetables, etc) in a plastic garbage bag before throwing them in my trash, and this really makes a difference.

10. Kitchen countertops. Unless you’re butchering meat in your apartment, plain old soapy water is the best countertop cleaner. I try to clean my countertops multiple times throughout the week, but sometimes I’m in a rush and only get to it once a week.

11. Washing dishes. I’ve tried lots of name brands and generic brands, and in my opinion the longest lasting and best bang for it’s buck is Dawn dish soap. I’m partial to their Caribbean Escapes which make your kitchen smell like a tropical island. Remember to never leave your sponge sitting in the sink, a moist sponge is prone to all sorts of bad bacteria. If you have a dishwasher, run your sponge through it once or twice a week with your regular wash. 

12. Some cleaners to invest in.

  • Windex: Bought a bottle four years ago when I’m moved into my first apartment and still have about 1/3 of it left. Use to clean windows, mirrors and sliding glass doors. 
  • Bona: It’s the best wood cleaner ever. Ever!
  • Clorox: I currently own both the spray and the disinfectant wipes.
  • Meyer’s: Or some other multi-purpose organic cleaner.

I will do a post sometime tomorrow about unpacking! Hope this helps.

If you’ve got persistent/chronic illnesses and/or fatigue, you have permission to be tired. You have permission to not get all the things done right now. You have your own time you do things within, and it is perfectly okay to take that time and move at your pace and rest when needed.

Even when things are going well and exciting stuff is happening! Even when you feel that now that things are taking a turn for the better, your energy and spoons should be going up too! You don’t have to recover and be full of energy automatically, you’re not lazy if you have to rest. If your bones and muscles say “nope” then it is okay for you to decide that it’s time to stop, regardless of how nice a day it is, regardless if it seems like the perfect time to do a given chore. Don’t feel obligated to spend your time on work just because you feel like you should be busy.

I am typing this to myself to make it click.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY FOR YA ALL TOO! ;;;;W;;;;;; SO MANY OF U DRAW ME STUFF N ALL- IM JUST SORRY I CANT ONLINE MUCH- THIS UNIVERSITY IS KILLING ME

N IM MISSING THE MOST EXCITING DAY TO DRAW OTPS DAMMIT

ANGER N ROUGE BEIN SUPER SWEET TOOASDFGHJKL

IM SRSLY DYING OVER HERE

THANK U YA ALL! I HOPE U HAVE A GREAT VALENTINES DAY ;;W;; EITHER U HAVE A PARTNER OR NOT!

anonymous asked:

So I just saw a post on google saying how, 'BTS is the fakest group' and 'They aren't really friends, it's just for the camera.' and that pissed me off so much. Like....wtf?

Um…whoever said that is LYING TO THEMSELVES!!!

They’re either bitter because BTS is really popular right now, or maybe they’re just so used to groups secretly disliking each other that they don’t know what real friendship looks like anymore. But if you’ve watched like…any video with BTS in it you can see how much they genuinely enjoy each other’s company.

And it’s not just for camera either. Here’s what an ex-staff member at a broadcasting station wrote about BTS after seeing them being slandered online:

Anyway, there have been rumors about BTS’s personalities?, right? I saw other fandoms dragging them down with this… Well, I thought it was ridiculous so I decided to write about BTS I had seen for a short time. I worked briefly doing chores at a music show and BTS was present during this period. But seriously you can’t talk about BTS’s personalities like that. They’re really nice. Other celebrities mentioned them too and they said they’re very nice. Perhaps all of them except one member are very shy..? They only stayed in their waiting room. They’re not extremely quiet and they’re not very loud too. It looked like they gather around each other and play together. The waiting rooms don’t have great soundproof facilities so you can actually hear what they’re talking about and I heard them when I passed the hall and I thought they were really cute so I’ll share an anecdote. ㅋㅋㅋ I suddenly heard people laughing loudly from BTS’s waiting room so I stood there thinking “huh?” and I realized that they were telling each other weird jokes and then giggling like high school girls and they continued to play some strange game? kind of thing. Anyway, they looked like a 4D group. I could sense the vibe of high school girls from them

So in conclusion, IT’S REAL AND ITS LOVE 😍😭😘

Originally posted by btstaehyunged

So Much

Summary: Ian is married to Mickey when he goes away for three days on a work retreat. Mickey spends some time at the Gallagher’s house with Fi, V, Debbie, and Mandy to accidentally get extremely drunk and confess some things.

Word Count: 1557


“It’s only three days, babe,” Ian says before putting his jacket on.

Mickey nods. “I’ll be fucking fine,” he tries to say convincingly, but Ian sees right through him.

Ian giggles. “A three day work retreat is not something to be so worried about.”

“Not worried,” Mickey lets out a heavy breath, and tries to avoid making eye contact with the taller man. “Just gonna miss you is all.”

Ian smiles and walks closer to his husband. “I’m gonna miss you too.” He places a hand on the dark haired man’s cheek. When Mickey finally looks up, he kisses him lightly. “I gotta go, Mick,” they lean their foreheads together.

“Okay,” Mickey tries to make his voice steady. “Love you,” he smiles.

“Love you too,” Ian says before separating from his husband. He grabs his coat and wave goodbye as he walks out the door.

Mickey stands there for a moment, but he phone cuts off the silence. He sees a text from his sister. “Gallagher house. 7:00. Don’t be late.”

OK, Mandy.” He’s glad he’ll have something to do tonight instead of sit in this apartment all alone.

Instead of doing nothing all day, he cleans for the first time in his life. Chores and cleaning were never enforced rules in his house growing up, so it’s not something he’s used to doing.

To his surprise, housework takes up a lot of time. When he checks the clock, he sees it’s 6:30 already, so he jumps into the shower, changes and starts walking to the Gallagher house.

Mickey walks into his husband’s family’s house and looks around for where everyone is. When he doesn’t see anybody, he makes his way into the kitchen to grab a beer.

Suddenly he hears the back door open, when he turns to see who it is he sees Mandy, Fiona, V, and Debbie. “Hey,” Fiona greets. Mickey tips his beer at her in return.

V starts to chuckle. “Lookin’ a little gloomy, Milkovich,” she says because she knows Ian left for his trip a few hours ago.

He scoffs. “The fuck would I be gloomy for? Who even uses the word ‘gloomy.’”

“I do,” V shoots at him. “And because your boy toy’s gone.” She chuckles.

Mickey rolls his eyes. Luckily, he knows how

to cover his emotions, but he is pretty upset about it. “It’s three fucking days, not the end of the world.”

“A lot can happen in three days, Mick,” Debbie pushes making the other three girls laugh.

He chucks the middle finger in return. “Fuck all of you.” Mickey puts his eyes on his beer making sure no one sees what he’s really feeling.

“Don’t be an asshole,” Mandy says to her brother. “We know you miss him.”

“Fuck off, holy shit,” he hisses. “Let’s eat already.”

Once the girls quit teasing Mickey, they eat their dinners. The five of them sit around the table having conversations about work, raising kids, and just some pointless, silly stuff. After they are done eating, Fiona brings out more alcohol. Mickey rolls his eyes at her and claims he’s ready to leave, but the girls insist that he stays with them instead of being alone.

Unsurprisingly, V is the first to get completely trashed, but to everyone’s amazement, Mickey is just a drunk as her. Mickey can hold his liquor, so they were assuming he had drank much more than them. Instead of drinking with him– Mandy, Debbie, and Fiona decide to joke with him when they see him staring at the wall, deep in thought.

“What’s on your mind, Mickey?” Debbie prys with a grin.

“Ian.”

“What about him?” The girl’s notice that his guard is down for the first time in forever, so they crowd around him.

“Miss ‘im. Miss him a lot,” he sighs. “He’s the best, y’know?” Mickey smiles when the others agree with him. “The fucking best.”

The girls giggle. “What do you love about him so much?” Mandy asks before taking her cell phone out to videotape the response.

Suddenly Mickey’s eye widen. “Oh shit. That’s a loaded fuckin’ question.” He pauses. “You want everything, like how and why and when,” he asks confusingly, “or just like the things I love in general? Like all his little freckles and the bright green eyes and shit like that?” No one can believe what they’re hearing– Mickey’s actually going to be sincere for once in his life.

“Ummm, everything. How and why and when– whatever that means.”

He grins. “Here I fucking go,” he prepares himself. “Back when I was seventeen and he stormed into my bedroom with that rusty ass crowbar to try to get the gun I stole from Kash. He was so fucking fearless, and that’s when I knew.”

V raises her eyebrows. “Knew what? You were too fucking stubborn to know anything.”

“No. I knew he’d be the one I loved from that day forward which is why I was so fucking stubborn. It scared the shit outta me, I’ll tell ya,” he snorts. “I wouldn’t kiss him for two years– literally every time he tried I threatened to ‘rip his fucking tongue out.’ The day I did though it really made me know that he was it for me. That feeling we had between us– I was fucking gone for him. I got shot that same day,” he raises his eyebrows. “Why do I always get fucking shot because of him? What the fuck?”

Fiona laughs. “Okay, get back on topic.”

He nods and takes another swig of whiskey. “Then the day when DCFS came and he got sent to that group home,” he starts. The girls give each other the same shocked expression because they’ve heard bits and pieces about this day, just not everything. “That day I invited him to sleepover. He was so happy when I asked– God, that cute fucking laugh he had,” he shakes his head. “Anyway, he came over after work and we watched movies and I made food for us, it was nice, which I’d never have admitted back then, but it was, I always thought so. We talked, we kissed a little, we fucked–” he pauses and gets a terrified expression on his face. “Then Terry walked in.”

“Mick,” Mandy says under her breath. Though she wants to hear what happened, she nervous to hear the story.

“He fucking caught us. That fucker went straight for Ian. He started punching him, almost knocking him unconscious, but I jumped on his back and screamed for him to leave Ian alone,” he shutters. “That’s when he started on me. Beat me until blood covered my whole face, and after that he was about to head for Ian again. Thank God I found enough strength to hit him again, causing a distraction because I don’t know what he would have done to him. Eventually though, he pistol whipped me and I don’t remember anything from then to until Svetlana came and Terry forced her to rape me–”

“What the fuck did you just say?” Mandy says harshly.

“What?”

“About Svet?”

“How do you think the bitch got pregnant? Terry forced her to rape me and Ian had to fucking watch,” he says coldly. It was a terrible day for them. “Then after Ian was gone, he said I had to marry her or else he’ll kill Ian. So I did what I needed to do– should’ve told Ian right then though. Maybe he wouldn’t have left.”

They all look at him with sorrowful and shocked eyes as he pauses.

“When I found Ian though– after he left– I knew I couldn’t let him leave ever again. I’ve never needed anyone before, but fuck, I’ve always needed him. I could careless how fucking crazy he is, I need him and I’ve loved him in all his twisted and fucked up forms.” He starts to smile. “So what I’m saying is that I love him so much because we survived all that shit. Through all of that, he still managed to turn me into a better man and a better father to Yev. So that’s why.”

Debbie jumps on Mickey, pulling him in for a tight hug. She can’t believe the two of them needed to go through so much to get to where they are today. Once Debbie let go and Mickey looks around the room, he notices saddened and awed faces. “I also love his red hair, and that fucking smile,” he starts saying to lighten the mood. “And his abs– I mean shit,” he says with a laugh, causing all the girls’ jaws to drop. “Oh and I love his long arms and legs so much because when it’s cold he always wraps himself all the way around me to warm me up. I love that stuff so much,” he snorts. “Or when he clings onto me while he’s sleeping, I love that too.” He smiles. “He’s fucking perfect.”

“Man, you’re gonna hate that we got you this drunk tomorrow,” V laughs as the everything lightens again and she thinks about how Mickey is going to react to the thought of this conversation once he sobers up.

“Well, I’d appreciate me being drunk like this while ya can, ladies,” he laughs and then passes out, leaving the girls to drink by themselves.

Good Punishments for LDRs...

These are some that work for me.. But every little and relationship is different!!

* If y'all can video chat, make them stand or sit in the corner. You can monitor her/im during Timeout ⏳
* Have them write what they did wrong a certain number of times with pictures as proof
* Make them write or type a letter 📃 to you about why they are sorry
* Restrictions of sweets 🍬, Tv Time 📺, Internet/Cell Phone 💻📱use
* Earlier Bedtime 💤- the worst in my opinion, less time with Daddy 🙁💕
* Chores; such as cleaning their room , doing dishes, bathroom etc.
* No PlayTime 🌝🌚