time desk

okay no offence but Dan totally looked like a dad who was getting fed up at an airport because his family was starting to complain and the people behind the desks weren’t being helpful and was trying to keep in a good mood because it’s vacation damnit and was really passive aggressive and bitter on the plane ride to the bahamas

we’ve always taken shelter in our unhelpable pride

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AP Gothic
  • You open the test booklet. The first page is formulas. The second page is formulas. They’re all formulas. You can’t find the questions. Everyone around you is diligently working. You flip through the booklet but all of it is formulas. They consume you.
  • “Close your booklet and stop working.” Pencils sound as they hit the desk. Time is called. Time doesn’t answer. Where is it? It is lost. You are all lost.
  • You are told to seal the multiple choice question booklet. The white labels don’t fit properly in the designated sections. None of this fits. You may never discuss these questions. They no longer exist. They never existed. Ryan tried to fight back. They drag him away. Ryan never existed either.
  • The test references AP students in it. Haha. The test is very funny. Laugh. College Board wants you to laugh. College Board just wants to be friends. College Board is very friendly. College Board beckons you closer. Closer. They are very funny. L A U G H
  • You may only use black or blue ink. Your pen breaks. The ink spills everywhere. Milky black liquid falls over everything you knew and loved. The College Board confiscates it. “How can we accurately assess your skills without gathering all your materials?” They smile. You never noticed they had so many teeth before. 
  • The proctor reads the instructions and you begin writing. The proctors circle you. They lean over your test and make disapproving noises. They are hunting. They pick out the weak. You will be next. 

anonymous asked:

What would you recommend getting done in the first week of school (and the week before school starts sicee those days teachers don't really tell you what will be done and everything is just slack?

The preparation part was my favourite during my school years so here we go 

The Week Before School Starts

  1. wash your backpack if possible (don’t tumble dry!) 
  2. you can also wash your pencil case if needed
  3. if you haven’t bought your supplies yet, now’s the time!
  4. also try out your pens and pencils to see if they still work (if not, replace them if needed)
  5. sharpen your pencils
  6. clean your desk
  7. put all your old worksheets and things from last year into files 
  8. label your folders (your name, class name, year) and textbooks, calculator and everything that might get switched up in class 
  9. if you’ve messed up your sleeping schedule, use the last week to try and fix it so you don’t have to run on four hours of sleep on the first day of school
  10. have a look at the curriculum so you know what’s coming up in each subject
  11. if you’re going full-on hermione, have a sneaky look at the first chapter of your textbooks or revise briefly what you did before the holidays

The First Week of School 

  1. make copies of your schedule (one for the fridge, one for your desk, one for your bullet journal/calendar or for wherever you might need one) and memorise it, especially the rooms and break times
  2. if your school has one, get access to the online learning management system if you haven’t already
  3. get your books from the school library if you don’t need to buy them
  4. if you’re at a new school, learn where the rooms are as quickly as possible, especially the bathrooms, the gym, the cafeteria and the principal’s office (and your classrooms of course) – if you don’t know your way around, ask someone to show you everything!
  5. if you get homework, do it right away. don’t let procrastination sneak up on you in your first week already
  6. if you need special supplies for some classes and your teacher told you to buy them, buy them now (especially books because shipping may take a while)
  7. copy important dates into your calendar/bullet journal (deadlines, exams, holidays, school events, trips etc)
  8. if you’re in a new school/class, try to learn the names of your classmates (maybe not all of them, but your immediate neighbours and possible group work partners) or maybe even exchange numbers/open a group chat (might come in handy if one of you is absent or needs help with homework)
  9. if you’re returning to your old school and class, arrange to meet with your friends to catch up if you haven’t seen them during the holidays! it’s usually easier during the first two weeks because you won’t have as much homework
  10. you’ll likely be introduced to new topics in different subjects - pay attention!! those basics are really important and the next weeks’ worth of content will be based on them, and it’ll make things easier for you when you learn more advanced stuff later or when you study for exams. 

You don’t have to do all of that, those are just a few suggestions based on personal experience! I hope you’ll have a great start in school :) 

Bokuto: “You’re getting 19 kisses each!! How many is that???”

Akaashi: “57”

Bokuto: “WW OA H 57!!!”

Kenma: *is planning on stealing all the kisses for himself*

Happy Birthday Kuroo!!  I hope everyone showers you with kisses today!  (ʃƪ ˘ ³˘)♥  おめでとう~ ♪!!

A whole little forest of painted critters staring at me while I work. Sometimes when I’m feeling particularly uncreative I imagine them all coming to life like the paintings at Hogwarts and encouraging/ chastising me. The badger for instance always seems very consolatory while the little owl above her is most fond of telling me to stop being a lazy ass and just do something. 

I definitely need to take a coffee break.

things my shakespeare professor said over the past semester

“toni morrison did not develop the career she has because she spent her time in drug-fueled orgies.” EDIT: my friend reminded me that our prof said orgies, not threesomes, and that the following sentence was “no, she spent her time at her desk producing very fine novels.”

(about acting in shakespeare) “this is not the golden globes or whatever, if you’re not white, you can still participate.”

“many important things are discovered on the way to the restroom.”

(what sonnets mean) “please sleep with me”, “i wish i could be with you so we could get it on, but you’re far away and we can’t so all i can send you is a dumb poem”

“juliet is a very smart chick.”

(a few vague threats) “oh, i laugh, but people cried.” “i will cut you.” “when i am sardonic, you will feel bad.”

(about the histories) “it’s mentally easy if you see it all as game of thrones.”

“the plantagenets were no longer in charge, which was good, because they were bitches.”

(about richard III being obsessed with anne) “i’m not just some horny dude that wants to sleep with you, it’s just that you’re so hot that i had to mow down everyone else in my way to get to you.”

“what’s the fun of throwing a party if you don’t not invite people?”

“you fuck with my kids, your kids are going in a pie.”

“the people who are in love [in comedies] are usually young, dumb, and boring.”

“comedies begin in shit places- if the play opens and the sky is falling, you’re in a comedy.”

(about ephesus in the comedy of errors) “everyone’s a witch here, let’s just bail.”

“henry VIII breaks with the roman church and fucking destroys every monastery in sight.”

“henry V started off as a party-going, panty-chasing loser.”

(about hamlet’s entrance in I.ii) “it’s always fun to arrive late to the party, it does imply that you have a fascinating social life.”

“conspiracies are erotic.”

“art, am i right?”

            My hands are covered in scars, and they smell like dust. The scars are from the things I love; cat claws and plant thorns and spattered cooking oil. A mosquito bite I got while camping and couldn’t stop scratching. A shiny patch on my palm from where I fell off my bike and got road rash. A line across the knuckle of my right middle finger, where my mom’s puppy bit me during his rebellious teenage months. A yellowjacket sting on my wrist from the summer I spent researching bees at a nature preserve. Most of my scars are so faded, only I can tell where they are.

            I came to Elsewhere University for a job. I’d burned out at my previous job at a vet’s office, too socially awkward and too trapped by my OCD to be consistently competent. Needing work and desperate to no longer live within my stepmom’s sphere of influence, I applied for the posting at EU as a research assistant for whoever needed one in the biology department. Now I spend my days on my laptop, compiling reference lists and background research for other people’s papers, or in the library, tracking down articles published in obscure journals that only have the abstracts available online. My not-quite-faculty status means I have my own office in the basement, in between the display of stuffed songbirds and the adolescent chimpanzee skeleton.

            I’m good at my work, but it’s all dry, dead things. Theses written by students who have no further record in academia. References mentioned in one paper that don’t go anywhere because the original journal no longer exists. Even when I get to work with real things, it’s just drawing small animals’ skeletons for the student who swears he’s found new morphological evidence for how bats evolved powered flight. Everything’s dead, and dusty, and my hands smell like dust.

            I’ve heard that you can trade things, and I think I know how. I can find my way into the depths of the library, where the floors don’t match up. More importantly, I can find my way back out, and I’ve learned how to follow the stacks to come out of the door near my office that leads to the greenhouse if I go through it in the other direction. There are always students working at the carrels along that route, but their eyes don’t close and their books aren’t real, and I know they can tell me where to go to make my deal. They know who I can give my scars to as payment for making sure my hands never smell like dust again.

[x]

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I can’t believe you beat me to it

Just some heart warming stuff for you nerds! I had some dialog planned but i thought it would go better without words. I also wont be posting as much comics after this because im starting school tomorrow. kill me quick