It’s exam week and I am tired. Instead of coherent content, please enjoy this list of random dialogue that I currently have no context for:
Damian listened thoughtfully until Tim got to the end. “So basically we need your help. Any questions?”
“Yes,” Damian decided, after a few seconds of silence.
“When did I give you the impression that I cared?”
“Oh come on.”
“What was my mistake?”
“We’re on a timeline here.”
“No, really,” Damian asked, raising his hands in an exaggerated gesture of confusion. “Where did I go wrong?”
“I’m confused,” Duke told him. “Red Hood Jason or Trophy Case Jason?”
For some reason, Tim didn’t seem to understand the question. He pointed across the cave, to where Hood was sorting through medical supplies. “Jason.”
“So not the Robin that died.”
Tim pointed again, slower this time. “Jason.”
“That’s… the same person?”
“He didn’t actually die?”
“Oh boy,” said Tim, biting at his lip. “No, he was definitely dead.”
“Short-term. You really didn’t know?”
“It’s not an uncommon name?” Duke could hear the panic in his own voice, but he didn’t feel inclined to check it. “Why would I assume that one person… came back from the dead?? Instead of assuming there are two people named Jason?”
“Oh boy,” Tim repeated. He turned to Damian, who Duke suddenly noticed was smiling in a very unsettling sort of way. “You didn’t tell him?”
Damian shook his head. The smile became downright maniacal.
“Tell me what??”
“It’s a family meeting,” Dick told him. “You have to stay.”
Jason collapsed back into his armchair, glaring. “You know sometimes I think I never actually came back to life? I just died and went to hell.” He crossed his arms. “Because honestly? This could be hell.”
“Stop being dramatic.”
Jason threw him a look that clearly communicated ‘when hell freezes over’ in the most dramatic way possible, or at least that was the goal.
Dick turned away, rolling his eyes. He seemed to get the message. There, Jason thought. Nailed it. He felt better.
“What’s the holdup?” Tim asked, settling onto the couch next to Cass. “Something wrong?”
Dick shrugged. “Bruce says he has an announcement.”
“We have a new sibling?” Tim guessed.
“What? No.” Dick frowned, probably running the odds just to be sure. “Not that I’m aware of, anyway.”
“You had to think about it,” Tim noted, and then turned to face the door as Bruce finally made his entrance.
“I have an announcement.”
“We have a new sibling?”
“What?” Bruce asked. “No.” His eyes flicked upward for half a second, and then he continued, decisive. “No, you don’t.”
“See?” Tim asked. “He had to think about it.”
“I thought you were against this plan,” Duke said.
Damian nodded. “I am, but Todd and I reached an agreement.”
“Simple bet,” Damian confirmed. “If it works, I have to go to Drake’s birthday party, but if Todd dies again, I get to put ‘Damian told him so’ on his new headstone.”
“Oh,” Duke told him. “That sounds… fair.”
Damian leaned back against the wall, smirking. “I like my chances.”
At that point, Duke became pretty sure that the plan wasn’t going to work. He looked from Jason, up on the rooftop, to Damian, who was calmly punching numbers into his phone. “Uh. Shouldn’t we go help him?”
Damian raised a finger in a give-me-a-second kind of gesture while he put his phone to his ear. “Hello, Elliot Funeral Home? How much do you charge for gravestones? Midrange. I see. Very reasonable.”
“Fine,” Damian sighed. “Thank you,” he told his phone. “I’ll be in touch.”