The Prince and the Sorcerer aka Tim Burton’s Merlin I read somewhere that Colin likes Tim Burton… well, who doesn’t? Anyway, I have some Merlin!crossovers on my To do list and I finally had a day off to make some scribbles.
So after seeing Wonder Woman (twice) and hearing her delight over the baby, I had a thought.
Diana probably didn’t get very close with people as she never ages and having good friends, that could be a problem as they 1) would see that they grow old while she does not and 2) because she would lose friends over and over due to the cycle of life.
So imagine her delight when Batman brings his young ward around.
He is small for a child of his age, but he is eager and energetic.
And Diana adores him.
She is the one who wants to play with him, she’ll play robin while he pretends to be batman during important league meetings.
Dick will fall asleep curled up in her lap.
She loves this little boy because she never got to be so close with one.
Then Jason comes around and he’s a different kind of baby.
To her, he is sweet, and she loves it. He is not as excitable and happy as the first child, but he is kind and gentle and he makes her a flower crown that she will wear into battle.
They don’t play batman and robin, they play batman and the robber, and she plays whatever he wants her to.
She is heartbroken when she learns this sweet baby has died.
She had never known a baby to die so young, at least not one she knew so personally.
Over the next few years she watches Bruce become the shell of the man he was, and she understands, even when no one else does.
Then comes Tim, and though she misses Jason, this boy is different still.
He is smart, and cunning, and he wants her to train him. He wants her to come at him with her sword.
She obliges, and teaches him well.
And his smile when he wins is all the reward she could ever have wanted.
This baby is good. He is smart, and he only wants his love reciprocated. And she does love him, in a way that’s all his own.
When he is gone, so is Bruce.
The next baby is not so kind or sweet, nor is he happy or loving. He is angry and rude.
But the happy baby is trying his hardest, and Diana believes his smile could charm the world.
Eventually, he learns manners and becomes a good baby, even if he is still a little angry. Diana bestows upon him a flower crown. He wears it, though not into battle. He even thanks her for it.
When the sweet baby is alive again, she makes one for him too, and shows him the one she kept pressed in a book.
Dick: Flynn Rider (flirty, hawt, charming, nice butt, sarcastic, has almost died several times, orphan, has a thing for a certain hair color, gets made fun of for his name, sneaky, hides feelings with humor)
Jason: Aladdin (street rat, doesn’t listen to authority, protects kids, good at stealing things, witty, wore a vest, wound up hanging with rich people, feminist, strange friends)
Tim: Eric (pretty blue eyes, pure, isn’t fazed by weird stuff, heroic, my fave, always rich, depressed sometimes, has a British butler, doesn’t do what he’s told)
Duke: Kristoff (sarcastic, doesn’t get rich people, orphan, loner, has issues with authority, a realist, adopted by a super weird family, doesn’t know what’s going on most of the time)
Damian: Beast (cuddly, will fight everyone, no friends besides maybe two people, lonely, scary smiles, rude child, not a people person)
so you have the batfam, right? and we all know that bruce and clark are in love, so there’s ur superfam/batfam tie in, and since bruce & clark are the “heads” of their respective families, that means that the superfam and batfam are now the superbatfam and are the same thing. following me? good.
and we know that dick is in love with wally, which means that the batfam and the flash fam are tied together, and since barry & bruce love their kids (dont tell me wally isn’t barrys kid i won’t hear of it), an effort is made to combine the bat & flash fam. so the superbatfam and the flash fam are connected. still following?
that leaves jason, who’s in love with roy, and since bruce loves his son but hates oliver and oliver loves his son and hates roy, and also roy hates oliver (and jason hates bruce but like, not really) the arrow and bats combine via dinah, who’s–wait for it–in love with babs. so the arrowfam is tied to the batfam via dinah, who’s a part of the arrow fam whether or not she’s dating ollie, and roy.
roy & jason are, of course, dating kyle, who’s a lantern, and therefore you have the lanterns claiming to be tied to the superbatarrowflash fam, as well. still with me?
and steph & kara & cassie are in love, which is relevant because cassie is in the wonderfam, and diana is bff with bruce and clark and donna is bff w dick, so naturally the bats & wonders are one & the same now.
obvs tim is dating kon & whatnot, but the superfam is already connected, & cass is dating harper–a bat–so now all we have to do is remember that the bats, supers, arrows, lanterns flashes, and wonders are all one big family. still with me? good.
now i want you to close your eyes and imagine the thanksgivings.
#31: Unless you are Kryptonian, Wonder Woman, the Flash, or Icon, do not drink from the shelf in the liquor cabinet labeled “danger.” That is not alcohol. The aforementioned people can only get drunk from neurotoxins. You will die.
#12: Captain Marvel may technically be an adult, but Billy is not allowed in the liquor cabinet in either form.
#46: Do not drink Bruce’s port. He will find creative ways to get revenge.
#374: Do not drink anything Aquaman offers you. He has terrible taste.
#463: If you value your sanity, DO NOT, under any circumstances, ask Tim Drake what he puts in his coffee.
During a BatFam tour of the Watchtower, the following events happened: Babs hacked into the training simulator in order for Cass to train against holograms of the strongest League Members. She beat them all, except for Wonder Woman. Jason got into the Artillery Section and stole as many weapons as he could. Dick flirted with every member he could find (girl, boy, alien, it didn’t matter.) Tim discovered everyone’s weakness, Damian had fun with Krypto & Ace.