tile-flooring

WIP Bitching Cont. Again

On today’s episode of Let’s Pretend I’m Not a Severely Depressed Individual Already Convinced Everything That I Do Has No Meaning Anyway So Might as Well Write, I’ve officially tripped my way into the Anakin and Dooku confrontation on Naboo, and it is an absolute blast, my dudes.

And by blast I mean more action (*bleeds from her eye sockets*) culminating in Dooku literally wiping the impeccable-tiled floor with Anakin’s Force Lightninged, extra crispy ass along with the origin story of Anakin finally getting a mechanical arm that can actually deflect lightsabers, because why have a mechanical arm if you can’t make it out of lightsaber-resistant material. It’s a fucking waste.

At least now I have a wobbly bridge from the Box to when Palpatine shows up on Serenno, shit-eating grin firmly in place, and declares ‘Who wants to fuck some Jedi?’ to which Serenus, currently about 4 inches deep into quality Jedi Master posterior, responds with 'Way ahead of you.’ Meanwhile, Obi-Wan pulls his face out of the pillow and ponders on how a Sith Lord can sound so much like Sheev Palpa– oh.

*oh*

I’ve written another page of Padawan Rex AU. I gotta tell you, going from the relative seriousness of Pulsion to the… how to put it… lazy playfulness of PR is odd, but not terrible. It’s kinda nice to have Obi-Wan go from 'conflicted over his love for a mass-murdering former Jedi’ to 'Hey, Rex, this is totally not a date but let me take to you my meet my friend, Dex, while we’re on leave and I won’t argue when he mistakes us for a couple’. It’s refreshing.

*rubs neck* Of course, meeting this Besalisk is mostly just a prelude to Rex meeting a completely different Besalisk and suddenly things kinda going to shit, but like four and a half people read this thing anyway so it ain’t no big dealio if it takes a drastic turn from rom com, lol we’re not dating but we have great sexual tension to oh my shit my boyfriend/apprentice just murdered the fuck out of a respected Jedi Master, better help him disappear before he’s sentenced to death only WHOOPS now the Separatists have him and it turns out things get really wacky when a Force sensitive implanted with a chip that requires him to obey without question is told 'I like the way you kill Jedi, lmao, go kill more. Execute Order 66.’

Probably should have just called this fic 'Fluffy AU? Haha. You thought. Here’s Turned Against His Will, Sith Assassin Rex fucking shit up, bitches. Surprise.’

I don’t know how many people will believe me when I say this thing has a happy ending. Probably 2 out of the four and a half readers.

  • me: I'm happy to be helpful, but I haven't exercised in a long time, so helping with this heavy construction work has been tough. my soft sweet marshmallow muscles are sore all over :(
  • my old lady grandma, completely dead serious: oh, well of course. it isn't fair for you to be asked to help with that kind of work, that isn't a job for a girl
  • me: *suddenly gets second, third, and fourth wind* I CAN DO ANYTHING MY EQUALLY SEDENTARY BROTHERS CAN DO, I AM THE HEIGHT OF AN AVERAGE GROWN MAN, I HAVE TWO ARMS AND TWO HANDS AND TWO LEGS, AND A TORSO WITH MUSCLES CONNECTING ALL THOSE EXTREMITIES, I'M GOING BACK RIGHT NOW TO TEAR ALL THE SHELVING IN ALL THE CLOSETS DOWN WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER BY MYSELF, I CAN'T EMPHASIZE HOW MUCH I HATE THE WOMAN-HATING CULTURE I WAS BORN IN