tiebreaker!

highskeleton  asked:

Jesus you act like Donald trump is the worst thing that happened to America. What about the bombs that Obama dropped every 20 minutes during his 8 years? Like trump is pretty shitty but def not the worst

Barack Obama didn’t brag about sexually assaulting people. 

Barack Obama didn’t instate this many controversial ~unconstitutional~ executive orders within his first two weeks in office. 

Barack Obama didn’t gaslight the entire country by lying about the size of his inauguration, which will surely progress into lying about much, much more important things.

Barack Obama’s election didn’t lead to swastikas being drawn - and normalized - all over the country. 

Barack Obama didn’t have over a million people take to the streets on one given day to protest him.

Barack Obama didn’t have every news outlet except for fucking Fox and Breitbart bashing him.

Barack Obama didn’t violate the law by pushing forward with the Keystone pipeline. 

Barack Obama didn’t have the Pope comparing him to Hitler. 

Barack Obama didn’t win through a rigged election. 

Barack Obama didn’t silence the EPA and the National Park Service from communicating with the public - which is literally their job. 

Barack Obama didn’t reinstate the Global Gag Rule, which will lead to hundreds of thousands of pregnancy and abortion related deaths. 

Barack Obama didn’t deny that climate change existed, for the sake of his own business interests. 

Barack Obama didn’t have his spokesperson promoting his daughter’s clothing line while he was serving in public office. 

Barack Obama didn’t issue a Muslim ban in 7 countries, yet failed to include the 2 countries with the highest number of terrorist attacks 

Barack Obama wasn’t best buds with fucking Vladimir Putin. 

Barack Obama didn’t forbid legal residents from entering their own country. 

Barack Obama didn’t nominate a Secretary of Education who was so unpopular that a tiebreaker vote had to be issued by the VP. 

Barack Obama didn’t nominate an Attorney General who was deemed too racist to be a federal judge, and who thinks grabbing people by their genitals isn’t sexual assault. 

Barack Obama wasn’t perfect, but he sure as hell wasn’t Trump. 

Normal Horoscope:

Aries: Oftentimes it is not you who gets to decide wether your butt looks good or not, though you do get the tiebreaker.

Taurus: Cynicism and optimism have their place. That place is mashed together into a confusing Frankenstein of a conversation. Gotta keep people on their toes.

Gemini: Your toothbrush is a mimmic, a mimmic that really cares a lot about your dental hygiene.

Cancer: There is magic in cleaning your home. Not fiery kaboom type magic, more the now your house is clean kind of magic.

Leo: As you sit there, thumbing through your phone, something watches you. Something with dead eyes and rotted legs. Do not look up, it will see that as a sign of aggression.

Virgo: Whatever is carving your name into your belonging will stop if you read up on financial literacy, seriously debt management is important.

Libra: Look “dress for success” does not mean “cover yourself in gold paint”. The stars and I see what you were going for though.

Scorpio: Watch your tongue. It has its own agenda.

Ophiuchus: Due to a clerical error, all Ophiuchans can talk to cakes form the next two weeks or so if they concentrate real hard.

Sagittarius: Invoke your right to duel. Invoke it without warning or cause. Kill people with a rapier. Kill unsuspecting people with a rapier.

Capricorn: When all falls apart, follow the money.

Aquarius: I don’t care if it works, a thong is a silly thing to enchant.

Pisces: Make sure it’s a real angel of ephemeral night. Ask to see ID. Ask to see their nightmare mount. Protect ya neck. Wu Tang.

youtube

OCN Save Me’s character Choi Man Hee isn’t just any smart and caring guy but someone special and unique, because he’s one of the few well-rounded fat characters in kdramas. We obviously have a lack of fat characters in Korean dramas. If we get them, they’re usually not actually played by fat people or they are the ones we’re supposed to laugh at. One of their main or only purpose in a story is to let us see them either stuffing their faces with food or losing weight. But Man Hee is different and I love that. I want to see more fat characters like him in kdramas, male and female alike.

anonymous asked:

Au where bad bob Zimmermann was really bad at hockey and never scored a goal his entire career. As a result he kept getting traded but every team he was traded too won the Stanley cup. Now everyone thinks that whatever team has a Zimmermann will win the cup and jack, who never played hockey, is being actively recruited by every NHL team throughout college but he wants to pursue his true passion of being a Goose Wrangler

thus the NHL adds a special tiebreaker rule where in the event of a tie, they release a goose and the first team to safely wrangle it wins. Jack gets his dream, his team gets its good luck charm

welp a few more blogs reblogged my content with tags invalidating the very clearly marked Ninoir and Volpinat as “brOTP/platonic” or whatever and mysteeeeriously only tagged the Love Square in poly-posts, so tonight I will be leaving you all with the following: 

  • Chat Noir is super, super bisexual. He is VERY bisexual. So very, very bisexual. HE IS THE MOST BISEXUAL THAT A MAGICAL BOY CAN BE, LIKE, THIS IS SOME LI SYAORAN NEXT-LEVEL SHIT HERE. 
  • Alya and Nino are both super, super bisexuals too. And they are also super, super POLY! And they ALSO both have super, super big crushes on Ladybug and Chat Noir, but can’t decide if it would be too creepy-fan to try to hit on them if they get a chance. 
  • Fortunately, they have best friends to ask for advice!
  • “What,” Adrien says blankly, staring at both of them.
  • “I think it’s only creepy if you, uh … if you push it? If they say no?” Marinette manages awkwardly. FOR WHICH SHE IS ALREADY PREPARING THE LET-THEM-DOWN-GENTLY SPEECH, DEFINITELY, OH GOD HOW IS THIS A CONCERN IN HER LIFE OH GOD THIS IS GOING TO BE SO AWKWARD PLEASE DON’T LET HER FUCK THIS UP AND MAKE ANOTHER DARK CUPID PLEASE
  • “Yeah, that’s fair,” Alya agrees, squinting thoughtfully. “But we were kinda torn, though, can you guys be the tiebreaker? Who do you think we should try first, Ladybug or Chat Noir?” 
  • “Definitely Ch–” Marinette starts quickly. 
  • “DEFINITELY CHAT,” Adrien blurts urgently over her, gripping Nino’s shoulders in his hands and giving him a VERY IMPASSIONED LOOK. “Nino. Nino, if you don’t at least TRY to hit on Chat Noir the next time you see him, I will never ever ever forgive you ever.” 
  • “Yeah, that’s fair,” Nino agrees. He would probably not forgive himself either, really. Alya DEFINITELY wouldn’t. 
  • And that is the story of how a week and a half later Ladybug finds Alya and Nino and Chat all enthusiastically tangled up in a make-out sandwich on a rooftop post akuma attack with less than two minutes left on his timer CHAT FOR CRYING OUT LOUD MOVE YOUR TAIL 

the h2h tiebreak is so dumb that i kind of love it…like if chicago and orlando end up tied, chicago wins, if chicago and seattle end up tied, seattle wins, and if seattle and orlando end up tied, orlando wins. but if all 3 end up tied, chicago wins followed by seattle. what kind of nonsense

nytimes.com
If Liberals Voted ...
American politics would look very different if Democrats could close their gap in passion and commitment.
By David Leonhardt

If liberals voted at the same rate as conservatives, Hillary Clinton would be president. Even with Donald Trump’s working-class appeal, Clinton could have swept Michigan, Wisconsin and Pennsylvania.

If liberals voted at the same rate as conservatives, Democrats would control the Senate. Clinton or Barack Obama could then have filled the recent Supreme Court vacancy, and that justice would hold the tiebreaking vote on campaign finance, labor unions and other issues.

If liberals voted at the same rate as conservatives, the country would be doing more to address the two defining issues of our time — climate change and stagnant middle-class living standards. Instead, Trump is making both worse.

Through the Years (Tom Holland x reader)

summary: you and tom recall the highs and lows of your relationship, all while having your first dance at your wedding

warnings: none

words: 3.1k

pairings: tom holland x reader

a/n: I MAY HAVE GONE SLIGHTLY OVERBOARD WITH THIS OOPS. anyway this was requested by @propsandpines, who asked for a story based off the song “Perfect” by Ed Sheeran so if there is anyone to blame for how fluffy this is…..it is her. I’ve never written anything about Tom before so hopefully I got his personality somewhat right? idk anyway I hope you like it:) 


Keep reading

I’ll try and simplify the healthcare debate and where we’re at right now (July 26). 

Yesterday, McCain and Pence cast the deciding votes to begin debate on repeal and replace. The vote was 51/50. Before McCain came back and Pence came in for the tiebreaker, the debate could not have moved forward. 

The vote yesterday wasn’t a vote on a particular bill, it was just a motion to move forward. It’s sort of like releasing the Kraken. The Kraken has not eaten anyone yet, but the gates, which were formerly very strong, are now opening.

There are several ways the Republicans can move forward now:

  1. Repeal Obamacare without replacing it (already voted on)
  2. Repeal Obamacare with a replacement that will severely cut Medicaid, kick 30+ million off insurance and lower taxes on the rich (House version)
  3. Repeal Obamacare with a replacement that will severely cut Medicaid even worse, kick 20+ million off insurance and lower taxes on the rich (Senate version)
  4. “Skinny repeal” (kicking 15 million off insurance in the short term and many more in the longer term)
  5. Some unholy mixture of the above 

They’ve already held a vote on repealing without replacing, but everyone already knew that wouldn’t pass. What they’re doing now by forcing votes on many different versions is finding out where each Republican lies and how many people they’re OK with killing. This is also crucial for Republican primaries. Right wing groups will record how each Republican votes, and the ones deemed insufficiently devoted to killing poor people will be scored badly, which means they might be challenged more successfully by more conservative candidates when election time comes. Democrats and allies will also be keeping track of votes to pressure in the opposite direction, but since many Republicans are in “safe” seats, they don’t have to care about that.

All we can do is block and delay from this point. But successful blocking and delaying is still possible, and we have to keep blocking and delaying until we can change the balance of power in the Senate.

Stitches // Joe Sugg imagine

Summary: You and the buttercream boys film a video for joe but things go wrong

Request: could you write one with joe where you need to get stitches or something?

A/n: Second imagine of the day! Whoop whoop! Again this was a request. I’m not really sure about this one. But still, I hope you like it! Xoxo

Request

Originally posted by mendessugghemmings


“Hey guys! Today I’m here with the whole gang except for Mikey! So you have Caspar, Josh, Oli, Jack, Conor, Y/N and me! And today we’re going to do the ‘encore singing challenge part 2!”, Joe belted out.

“But Joe wait”, Jack asked in a way that everyone knew it was staged, “we are with 7 and we only have one microphone!”. “Well Jack, that is right. So since we have our music expert, Conor, here, he will be the judge. And us 6 will divide in 3 teams of 2. Let’s say I’m in a team with Jack, then I will take the first 3 rounds on me and Jack will do the other 3. Everyone understands? Yeah? alright, I suggest everyone puts their name in the hat”.

Everyone had put their name in. you were really hoping for Jack for two reasons. One: Jack knew the lyrics to pretty much every song and second: you just wanted to beat your boyfriend Joe.

They let you pick first, since you were the only girl. And your wish got granted as the paper read “Jack”. He as well seemed happy as he immediately hugged you.

The other teams were Joe and Oli and Caspar and Josh. You felt pretty confident as you knew that neither Caspar or Josh knew any lyrics. The only problem would be Joe.

“Okay the first round is Joe against Caspar and …”, Conor paused for a dramatic effect,” Y/N!”. You groaned.

As we all went to sit down on Joe’s bed, Oli said:” Maybe we should put the mic on the chair so everyone can be shot and it’s fairer”. So that’s what you did and then the game began.

“First word is SPAGHETTI”, Conor shouted the last bit.

The other two were thinking while you immediately grabbed the mic. “His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy. There’s vomit on his sweater already, mom’s spaghetti”.

A course of grunts went through Capsar and Joe. “Okay, so that’s one for team Y/N and Jack! The next word is LIBIDO”.

This time it took a bit longer to come up with an answer. Suddenly Joe threw himself at the mic and started singing: “I feel stupid and contagious. Here we are now, entertain us. A mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, my libido”. “Oh wow you are really going for it”, you laughed. “Watch out or you’ll end up in the hospital”, Jack added.

“So it’s one for Joe and Olie, one for Y/N and jack and zero for Caspar and Josh! The last one for you guys is … FOOL!”, Conor said.

This time you and Caspar both went for it, but you beat him. “I’m only a fool for you, and maybe you’re too good for me, I’m only a fool for you. But I don’t fucking care, at all”.

“What? What song is that?”, Joe asked you. “Are you kidding me?! How do you not know that one?! It’s Idfc by blackbear”, you said a bit annoyed. No one seemed to know that song and it annoys you because it’s your favorite one.

The next 3 rounds ended and the score was zero for Caspar and Josh, three for Joe and Oli and three for Jack and you.

“Since we have a tie, we need a tiebreaker. So everyone sit down. The first one from one of the teams to answer, wins.”, Conor said. “You’re your word is … MESS”.

Wait, that was Joe and your song! That was the song that was playing when you first kissed. Obviously, Joe knew it too, so it was just a race to see who was first.

You were almost there, when suddenly you fell and hit your leg on the chair. You felt a sharp pain and saw the blood almost streaming out of your leg.

“Oh shit Y/N! Are you alright?”, Joe asked. “Uhm, I don’t really know to be honest”. The boys came rushing to your side. Caspar took a closer look and said: “We better get you to the hospital. I think you’re gonna need stitches”.

Joe looked really worried so you tried to assure him that everything was fine. “I’m alright Joe. It’s just a bit blood”. Suddenly your boyfriend stood up. “Okay guys, I’m gonna take her to the hospital. Could you please clean up the room?”, he asked. All the other boys nodded and said their goodbyes.

You started to walk out of the apartment, but soon two strong arms picked you up bridal style. “Joe!”, you giggled, “I can still walk you know”.

“Shut up. It’s my fault you’re hurt, so I’ll do anything to make it better”. He was being so sweet. You grabbed his chin and placed a soft kiss on his lips. “I love you Joe”. “I love you too baby”.

When you both got in the car, he was never not touching you. And when you went in the hospital, his arm never left your waist.

Turns out Oli and Caspar were both right. It might not have been Joe who had to go to the hospital, but you and you did get stitches.

On the way back home, you heard Joe hum a song. It was Shawn Mendes’ Stitches. You smacked his arm.

“Hey! What was that for?”, he yelped astonished. “Stop singing that song, you idiot!“

Bechloe Week Prompts!

The votes (and there were lots, thank you everyone!) have been counted. The prompts for Bechloe Week 2017 are as follows:

Monday July 24th: Coincidence

Tuesday July 25th: Summer Camp

Wednesday July 26th:Blurred Lines

Thursday July 27th: Flowers

Friday July 28th: Harry Potter

Saturday July 29th: Sleepover

Sunday July 30th:  Pride

There were also three runners up: Park Rangers, Crossover/AU, and Social Media, all of which tied equally with Flowers (which was drawn out of a cup for a tiebreaker). Therefore, we’re going to have a bonus day:

Monday, July 31st: Your choice of one of the runners up!


So get creative!! The prompts are just a starting point, you can take it as literally or as figuratively as you’d like. Submissions can be fan art, fictions, gifs, social media post,videos…the list goes on. Go through this blog for previous ideas if you’re still unsure! Reminders will be posted as we get closer to bechloe week, which is the last week of July.

Have fun, pitches! 

You want to know how dope Da'vonne' is.

She was legitimately friends with Paul since august of 2016 and on finale night she was the tiebreaker to not give him the 500k

poly defenders + domestic life

ask: @bonjour-je-mappelle-fuckyou: “Hey so I just read your poly!defenders hc that you posted back in April and IT WAS AMAZING! I just finished the Defenders so now I’m on a fic binge, I was wondering if you could write some more hcs??? Maybe just about domestic life with them 😊”

a/n: i hate my biology class so much it’s so boring and i understand like… One thing i’m so bad at science lmao

  • for the most part, y’all are pretty well off. mostly because of danny, though. he’s rich so therefore he buys a pretty HUGE house. 
       + even so, you guys have a thing though, whenever y’all go out, one of you claim it’s your birthday to get a free meal/dessert (however generous the restaurant is). 
       + you and matt also regularly get free wedding cake by claiming you guys are going to get married so you both can get free tastings of it.
  • when you guys do cook, jessica is not under any circumstances allowed in the kitchen (not that she’d cook, anyways. she has “better things to do”). luke can cook better than everyone (save you if you’re a good cook). danny is alright but his food is pretty plain tasting. matt can’t see so he gets ingredients confused so someone has to help him. though when that happens, he gets distracted by them and him and whoever he’s cooking with usually end up making out.
  • you and luke both want a dog so bad, but matt and jess are so against it. since it’s two vs. two, and it technically is danny’s house, he’s the tiebreaker.
       + he puts off answering because he doesn’t want to be on anyone’s bad side, but he secretly wants a dog too so he’ll just take you and luke to the humane society so you can find one (bc #AdoptNotShop).
       + jess almost throttles you guys because she doesn’t want a dog barking at all times of the day (she’s the definition of a cat person, but it slowly grows on her). matt’s fine with a dog as long as he doesn’t have to clean up after it.
  • sleeping is a situation (to say the least) because literally all four of them are usually gone out most of the night working on some case. (jess, doing her p.i. work, danny and luke being heroes for hire, and matt who’s patrolling hell’s kitchen). 
       + on normal nights, you fall asleep on the couch waiting for them, danny and luke coming home first and taking you to bed. you three usually share a bed, and jess passes out on the couch and matt goes to sleep in the other bedroom. 
       + other times, when jess doesn’t have work you and her will watch crappy reality tv until you both fall asleep on each other, danny and luke will find you guys and leave you alone, deciding it’s too adorable to move you two (of course, they’ll take a picture of it because it’s cute af). and matt comes in in the morning and joins luke and danny in the main bedroom.

Disney/Pix​ar Cars McQueen: OK… Here we go. Focus. Speed. I am speed. McQueen: One winner. 42 losers. I eat losers for breakfast. McQueen: Breakfast. Wait, maybe I should have had breakfast. A little breck-y could be good for me. No,no,no, stay focused. Speed. McQueen: I’m faster than fast. Quicker than quick. I am Lightning! Mack: (knock-kno​ck)Hey Lightning, are you ready? McQueen: Oh, yeah. Lightning'​s ready. Song McQueen: Ka-chow! Song Seller: Get your antenna here! Fans: You got that right, Slick. Bob Cutlass: Welcome back to the Dinoco 400. I’m Bob Cutlass, here with my good friend, Darrel Cartrip. We’re midway through what may turn out to be a historic day for racing. Darrel Cartrip: Bob, my oil pressure’s through the roof right now. If this gets more exciting, they’re gonna have to tow me outta the booth! Bob Cutlass: Right you are, Darrell. Three cars are tied for the season points lead, heading into the final race of the season. And the winner of this race Darrell, will win the season title and, the Piston Cup. Does The King, Strip Weathers, have one more victory in him before retirement​? Darrell: He’s been Dinoco’s golden boy for years! Can he win them one last Piston Cup? Bob: And, as always, in the second place spot we find Chick Hicks. He’s been chasing that tailfin his entire career. Darrell: Chick thought this was his year, Bob. His chance to finally emerge from The King’s shadow. But the last thing he expected was…Ligh​tning McQueen! Bob: You know, I don’t think anybody expected this. The rookie sensation come into the season unknown. But everyone knows him now. Darrell: Will he be the first rookie to win a Piston Cup and land Dinoco? Bob: The legend, the runner up, and the rookie! Three cars, one champion! Song Chick: No you don’t. Fans: Oohh. What a ride! Chick: Hahaha Fans: Go get'em, McQueen! Go get'em! Fans: We love you, Lightning! Chick: Dinoco is all mine. Race car: Ahhhh! Darrell: Trouble, turn three! Chick: Haha. Get through that, Mcqueen. Bob: Ouw.. A huge crash behind the leaders! Fans: Wahh!! Bob: Wait a second, Darrell. McQueen is in the wreckage. Darrell: There’s no way the rookie can make it through! Not in one piece that is. Mia & Tia: Lightning, ahhh. Darrell: Look at that, McQueen made it through! Bob: Man, a spectacula​r move by Lightning McQueen. McQueen: Yeah! Ka-chow! Fans: McQueen (7X) Fan: Yeah McQueen! Ka-chow! Bob: While everyone else heads into the pits, McQueen stays out to take the lead! Broken car: Don’t take me out coach. I can still race! Chick: Haha. What do you think boys? A thing of beauty. Chick’s coach: McQueen made it through! Chick: What? Chick’s coach: He’s not pitting! Chick: Come on! Get me out there! Let’s go! Get me back out there! Come on! Bob: McQueen’s not going into the pits! Darrell: You know the rookie just fired his crew chief. That’s the third one this season! Bob: Well he says he likes working alone Darrell. Chick’s coach: Go, go, go! Bob: Looks like Chick got caught up in the pits. Darrell: Yeah, after a stop like that, he’s got a lot of ground to make up.Get ready boys, we’re coming to the restart! Chick: Come on, come on, come on! McQueen’s crew: We need tires now! Come on, let’s go! McQueen: No,no,no,n​o! No tires, just gas! McQueen’s crew: What! You need tires, you idiot! Darrell: Looks like it’s all gas-and-go​’s for McQueen today. Bob: That’s right. No tires again. Darrell: Normally I said a short-term gain, long-term loss, but it’s sure is workin’ for him. He obviously knows somethin’ we don’t know. Bob: This is it Darrell, one lap to go and Lightning McQueen has a huge lead. Darrell: All he’s got it in the bag. Call in the dogs and put out the fire! We’re gonna crown us a new champion! McQueen: Checkered flag, here I come! Darrell: Oh, no! McQueen has blown a tire! Bob: And with only one turn to go! Can he make it? McQueen’s crew: You fool! The King’s Coach: McQueen’s blown a tire!, McQueen’s blown a tire! Go,go,go! Darrell: He lost another tire! The King and Chick are coming up fast! Bob: They’re entering turn three! McQueen: Come on. Darrell: I don’t belive what I’m watching, Bob! Darrell: Lightning McQueen is hundred feet from his Piston Cup! Bob: The King and Chick rounding turn four. Darrell: Down the stretch they come! And it’s, and it’s… Bob: It’s too close to call! Too close to call! Darrell: I don’t belive it! (2X) Mia & Tia: Lightning! Bob: The most spectacula​r, amazing unequivoca​lly, unbelievab​le ending in the history of the world! And we don’t even know who won! Darrell: Look at that! Security: Hey, no cameras! Get outta here! Kori Turbowitz: We’re here in Victory Lane, awaiting the race results. McQueen that was quite a risky move, not taking tires. McQueen crew: Tell me about it. Kori Turbowitz: Are you sorry you don’t have a crew chief out there? McQueen’s Crew: Hah! McQueen: Oh Kori. There’s a lot more to racing than just winning. I mean, taking the race by a full lap… Where’s the entertainm​ent in that? No no no… I wanted to give folks a little sizzle. McQueen’s crew: Sizzle? McQueen: Am I sorry I don’t have a crew chief? No, I’m not. Cause I’m a one-man show. McQueen crew: Whats? Oh, yeah right. Kori Turbowitz: That was a very confident Lightning McQueen. Coming to you live from Victory Lane, I’m Kori Turbowitz. Cameramen: Hey, get out of the shot! McQueen: Yo, Chuck, what are you doing? You’re blocking the camera. Everyone wants to see the bolt. McQuenn crew: What? McQueen: Now, back away. McQueen’s crew: Ahh! That’s it. Come on guys. McQueen: Whoa, team! Where are going? McQueen’s crew: We quit, Mr. One-Man Show! McQueen: Oh, OK, leave. Fine. Hahaha. How will I ever find anyone else who knows how to fill me up with gas? Adios Chuck! McQueen’s crew: And my name is not Chuck! McQueen: Oh, whatever. Chuck: Hey, Lightning! Yo! McQueen! Seriously, that was some pretty darn nice racin’ out there. By me! Hahaha! Chick’s crew: Zinger Chick: Welcome to the Chick era, baby! The Piston Cup… It’s mine dude. It’s mine. Hey fellas, how do you think I’m look in Dinoco blue? Dinoco blue! Hahaha! McQueen: In your dreams Thunder. Chick: Yeah, right. Thunder? What’s he talkin’ about, “Thunder”? McQueen: You know, cause’ thunder always comes after lightning. Pew, Kaka-phow! Chick: Who here knew about the thunder thing? Chick’s crew: I didn’t. Cameramen: Give us the bolt! Cameramen: That’s right. Cameramen: Right in the lens. Cameramen: Show me the bolt, baby! Cameramen: Smile, McQueen! Cameramen: Show me the bolt, McQueen! Cameramen: That’s it! Tex: Ohh we, that was one close finish. You sure made Dinoco proud. Thank you, King. The King: Well, Tex, you’ve been good to me all these years. It’s the least I could do. Dear: Whatever happens, you’re winner to me, you old daddy rabbit. The King: Thanks, dear. We wouldn’t be nothing without you. Mia: I’m Mia. Tia: I’m Tia. Mia & Tia: We’re like your biggest fans! Ka-chow! McQueen: I love being me. Security: OK, girls, that’s it. Mia & Tia: We love you, Lightning! Some guys far away: We love you more!! The King: Hey, buddy. You’re one gutsy racer. McQueen: Oh, hey, Mr. The King. The King: You got more talent in one lug nut than a lot of cars has got in their whole body. McQueen: Really? Oh, that… The King: But you’re stupid. McQueen: Excuse me? The King: This ain’t a one-man deal, kid. You need to wise-up and get you self a good crew chief and a good team. And you ain’t gonna win unless you got good folks behind you, and you let them do their job, like they should. Like I tell the boys at the shop… McQueen: A good team. Yeahhh. Dreaming Song. Mia & Tia: Oh, McQueen. The King: If you figure that out, you just gonna be OK. McQueen: Oh, yeah, that.. That is spectacula​r advice. Thank you Mr. The King. Speaker: Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time in Piston Cup history… McQueen: A rookie has won the Piston Cup. Yes!! Speaker: We have a three-way tie. Chick: Oh, ho. Hey, McQueen, that must be really embarrassi​ng. But I wouldn’t be worry about it. Because I didn’t do it! Hahaha! Speaker: Piston Cup officials have determined that a tiebreaker race between the three leaders will be held in California in one week. Chick: Well, thank you! Thanks to all of you out there! Thank you! Hey, rook, first one to California gets Dinoco all to himself. Ahh! No, not me! No, you rock, and you know that! Balloon: Oh, yeah! Woaah!! McQueen: First one to California gets Dinoco all to himself. Ohh, we’ll see who gets there first, Chick. Huh? Mack: Hey, kid! Congrats on the tie. McQueen: I don’t want to talk about it. Come on, let’s go, Mack. Saddle up. What’d you do with my trailer? Mack: I parked it at your sponsor’s tent. McQueen: What? Mack: You gotta make your personal appearance​. McQueen: No. No! No,no,no,n​o! McQueen: Yes, yes, yes! Lightning McQueen here. And I use Rust-eze Medicated Bumper Ointment, new rear end formula! Nothing soothes rusty bumper like Rust-eze. McQueen: Wow! Look at that shine! Use Rust-eze and you too can look like me! Ka-chow! Rust-eze Car: Hahaha. I met this car from Swampscott​. He was so rusty he didn’t even cast a shadow. Rust-eze Van: You could see his dirty undercarri​age. Hahaha. McQueen: Uahh! I hate rusty cars. This is not good for my image. Mack: They did give you your big break. Besides, it’s in your contract. McQueen: Oh, will you stop please? Just go get hooked up. Rust-eze Van: Winter is a grand old time. Rust-eze Car: Of this there are no ifs or buts. Rust-eze Van: But remember, all that salt and grime… Rust-eze Car: Can rust your bolts and freeze your… Rust-eze Van: Hey look! There he is! Our almost champ! Victory ran to your rear end in here, kid. Fan: Lightning McQueen, you are wicked fast! Fan: That race was a pisser! Fan: You were booking McQueen! McQueen: Give me a little room guys. Fred: You’re my hero Mr.McQueen​. McQueen: Yes, I know. Fred, Fred, thank you. Fred: He knows my name. He knows my name! Rust-eze Van: Looking good, Freddie! Rust-eze Car: Thanks to you Lightning, we had a banner year! Rust-eze Van: We might clear enough to buy you some headlights​. Rust-eze Car: Are you saying he doesn’t have headlights​? Rust-eze Van: That’s what I’m telling ya. It’s just stickers! McQueen: Well, you know, racecars don’t need headlights​, because the track is always lit. Rust-eze Car: Yeah, well,so is my brother, but he still needs headlights​. Hahaha McQueen: Hahaha! Ha!! Hahaha!! Rust-eze Car: Ladies and gentlemen, Lightning McQueen! Fans: Free Bird! McQueen: You know, the Rust-eze Medicated Bumper Ointment team ran a great race today. And remember, with a little Rust-eze..​.And an insane amount of luck, you too can look like me. Ka-chow. Rust-eze Car: Hey, kid. Rust-eze Van: We love ya. And we’re looking forward to another great year. Just like this year. Hahaha. McQueen: Not on your life. Rust-eze Car: Don’t drive like my brother! Rust-eze Van: Oh Yeah, don’t drive like my brother! Mack: California​, here we come! McQueen: Dinoco, here we come! Song McQueen: I needed this. Hello? Harv: Is this Lightning McQueen, the world’s fastest racing machine? McQueen: Is this Harv, the world’s greatest agent? Harv: And it is such a honor to be your agent and it almost hurts to take ten percent of your winnings and merchandis​ing. And ancillary rights in perpetuity​. Anyway, what a race! Hot champ! I didn’t see it, but I heard you were great. McQueen: Thanks, Harv. Harv: Listen, they’re giving you 20 tickets for the tiebreaker thing in Cali. I’ll pass ‘em on to your friends. You shoot me the names. You let Harv rock it for you. All right, baby? McQueen: Right. Friends. Yes, there’s a… Harv: OK, I get it, Mr.Popular​. So many friends you can’t even narrow it down. Hey, when you get to town, you better make time for your best friend! You gotta break bread with your mishpoache​h here! McQueen: Yeah, yeah, that’d be great! We should totally… Harv: Ok, I gotta jump, kid. Let me know how it goes. I’m out. McQueen: What? A minivan? Oh, come on Mack, you’re in the slow lane. This is Lightning McQueen you’re hauling here. Mack: Just stopping off for a quick breather, kid. Old Mack needs a rest. McQueen: Absolutely not. McQueen: We’re driving straight to all night till we get to California​. We agreed to it. Mack: All night? May I remind you, federal DOT regs state… McQueen: Come on, I need to get there before Chick get hang with Dinoco. Mack: Ahh, all those sleeping trucks. Hey kid, I don’t know if I can make it. McQueen: Oh, sure you can, Mack. Look, it’ll be easy. I’ll stay up with you. Mack: All night? McQueen: All night long. McQueen: Zzzzz… DJ Song Snot Rod: Ah, ahh, achowww! Wingo: Hahaha! Boost: Hey, yo, DJ. DJ: What up? Boost: We got ourselves a nodder. DJ: Hahaha. Mack: Pretty music. Boost: Yo, Wingo! Lane change, man. Wingo: Right back at ya! Hahaha. Snot Rod: Yeah! Boost: Oops! I missed. Snot Rod: You going on vacation? Tuner team: Hahaha. Boost: Oh, no, Snot Rod… Wingo: He’s gonna blow! Snot Rod: Ahh…ahhh​…ahhh…​achoowww!!​! Mack: Gesundheit​! Hoho. One should never drive while drowsy. McQueen: MACK! McQueen: Mack! McQueen: Mack! McQueen: Hey,Mack! Mack! McQueen: Mack! McQueen: Mack,wait for me! McQueen: Mack! McQueen: Mack! Mack! McQueen: Mack! Mack… McQueen:..​.wait up! Mack. McQueen: Mack! Mack! McQueen: What?You'r​e not Mack. Peterbilt: Mack?I ain’t no Mack!I’m a Peterbilt, for dang sake! Peterbilt: Turn on your lights, you moron! McQueen: Mack… The Interstate​! Sheriff: Ahh!. Not in my town, you don’t. McQueen: Oh, no…Oh, maybe he can help me! He’s shooting at me! Why is he shooting at me! Sheriff: I haven’t gone this fast in years. I’m gonna blow a gasket or somethin’. McQueen: Serpentine​! Serpentine​, serpentine​! Sheriff: What in the blue blazes? Crazy hot rodder. Filmore: I’m telling you, man, every third blink is slower. Sarge: The sixties weren’t good for you, were they? McQueen: What? That’s not the Interstate​! Ahh ho, Auw, auw,auw! Ahhhh! No, no, no, no! Filmore: I’m not the only seeing this, right? Sarge: Incoming! Filmore: Whoa man. Sarge: No! Ramone: Hey, you scratch my paint! McQueen: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Luigi: My tires! McQueen: Phoah! Red: Huh! McQueen: Uargh! Red: Huh! Filmore: Fly away, Stanley. Be free! Sheriff: Boy, you’re in a heap of trouble. Kori Turbowitz: We’re live at the Los Angeles Internatio​nal Speedway as the first competitor​, Lightning McQueen, is arriving at the track. Cameramen: Is it true he’s gonna pose for Cargirl? Cameramen: Lightning, what’s your strategy? Woahh! Mack: What? Did I forget to wipe my mud flaps? News: McQueen’s driver arrived in California​, but McQueen was missing. News: Racecar Lightning McQueen was reported missing. News: He scheduled to race an unpreceden​ted… News: Sponsor stated they have no idea where he is. Junior: I hope Lightning'​s OK. I sure hate to see anything bad happen to him. Jay Limo: I don’t know what’s harder to find, Lightning McQueen or a crew chief who’ll work for him! Hummer: Lightning McQueen must be found at all costs! News: They’re all asking the same question: Where is McQueen? McQueen: Oh, boy. Where am I? Mater: Mornin’, sleepin’ beauty! McQueen: Ahhhhh!! Mater: Hahaha! Boy, I was wonderin’ when you was gonna wake up. McQueen: Take whatever you want! Just don’t hurt me! a parking boot? Why do I have a parking boot on? What’s going on here? Please! Mater: You’re funny. I like you already. My name’s Mater. McQueen: Mater. Mater: Yeah, like “tuh-mater​”, but without the “tuh”. What’s your name? McQueen: You don’t know my name? Mater: Uhh, no, I know your name. Is your name Mater too? McQueen: What? Look, I need to get to California as fast as possible. Where am I? Mater: Where are you? Shoot! You’re in Radiator Springs. The cutest little town in Carburetor County. McQueen: Oh, great. Just great! Mater: Well, if you think that’s great, you should see the rest of the town. McQueen: You know, I’d love to see the rest of the town! So if you could just open the gate, take this boot off, you and me, we go cruisin’, check out the local scene… Mater: Dad-gum! McQueen: How’d that be, Tuh-Mater? Mater: Cool Sheriff: Mater! What did I tell you about talkin’ to the accused? Mater: To not to. Sheriff: Well, quit yer yappin’ and tow this delinquent road hazard to traffic court. Mater: Well, we’ll talk later, Mater. Haha. “Later, Mater.” That’s funny! Sheriff: The Radiator Springs Traffic Court will come to order! Ramone: Hey, you scratched my paint! I ought take a blowtorch to you, man! Luigi: You broke-a the road! You a very bad car! Fillmore: Fascist! Commie! McQueen: Officer, talk to me, babe. How long is this gonna take? I gotta get to California​, pronto. Sheriff: Where’s your lawyer? McQueen: Tuh, I don’t know. Tahiti maybe. He’s got a timeshare there. Sheriff: When a defendant has no lawyer, the court will assign one to him. Hey! Anyone want to be his lawyer? Mater: Shoot, I’ll do it, Sheriff! Sheriff: All rise! The Honorable Doc Hudson presiding. Luigi: Show-off. Sheriff: May Doc have mercy on your soul. Doc Hudson: All right, I wanna know who’s responsibl​e for wreckin’ my town, Sheriff. I wanna his hood on a platter! I’m gonna put him in jail till he rots! No, check that. I’m gonna put him in jail till the jail rots on top of him, and then I’m gonna move him to a new jail and let that jail rot. I’m… Throw him out of here, Sheriff. I want him out of my courtroom. I want him out of our town! Case dismissed. McQueen: Yes! Mater: Boy, I’m purty good at this lawyerin’ stuff. Sally: Sorry I’m late, Your Honor! McQueen: Holy Porsche! She’s gotta be from my attorney’s office. Hey, thanks for comin’, we’re all set. He’s letting me go. Sally: He’s letting you go? McQueen: Yeah, your job’s pretty easy today. All you have to do now is stand there and let me look at you. Listen, I’m gonna cut to the chase. Me, you, dinner. Ka-chow! Sally: What the…? Auww! Please! McQueen: I know, I get that reaction a lot. I create feelings in others that they themselves don’t understand​. Sally: Ohhh, auww! McQueen: Oh, I’m sorry. Did I scare you? Mater: Well, a little bit, but I’ll be alright. Sally: OK. I’m gonna go talk to the judge. McQueen: Do what you gotta do, baby. Oh, but listen. Be careful. Folks around here are not firing on all cylinders, if you know what I mean. Mater: Ka-ching! Auww! Sally: I’ll keep that in mind. Hey there, Mater. Mater: Howdy, Sally. Sally: Hi, folks! Folks: Good morning! Sally. McQueen: You know her? Mater: She’s the town attorney and my fiancee. McQueen: What? Mater: Nah, I’m just kiddin’. She just like me for my body. Sally: Doc, you look great this morning. Did you do something different with your side view mirrors? Doc: What do you want, Sally? Sally: Ah, come on, make this guy fix the road. The town needs this. Doc: No. I know his type. Racecar. That’s the last thing this town needs. Sally: OK, I didn’t want to have to do this, Doc, but you leave me no choice. Fellow citizens, you’re all aware of our town’s proud history. Doc: Here she goes again. Sally: Radiator Springs, the glorious jewel strung on the necklage of Route 66, the mother road! It is our job and our pleasure to take care of the travelers on our stretch of that road. Sarge: Travelers? What travelers? Filmore: Ignore him. Sally: But how, I ask you, are we to care for those travelers if there is no road for them to drive on? Luigi, what do you have at your store? Luigi: Tires Sally: And if no one can get to you? Luigi: I won’t sell any…tire​s. I will lose everything​! Ohho. Sally: Flo, what do you have at your store? Flo: I have gas. Lotsa gas! Sally: OK boys, stay with me. And, and, Flo, what’ll happen if no one can come to your station to buy gas? Flo: I’ll go outta business and… we’ll have to leave town. Sally: And what’s gonna happen to all of us if Flo leaves town and closes her station? Folks: Without gas, we’re done for! Lizzie: What? Sally: So, don’t you think the car responsibl​e should fix our road? Lizzie: The only guy strong enough to fix that road is Big Al! Ramone: Lizzie, the guy left, like, 15 years ago. Lizzie: Then why are you bringing him up, you lemon? Sally: Oh, he can do it. He’s got the horsepower​. So, what do you want him to do? Folks: Fix the road! Sally: Because we are a town worth fixing! Folks: Yeah!!! Doc: Order in the court! Seems like my mind has been changed for me. Folks: Yeah!! McQueen: No! Filmore: Nice rulin’. McQueen: Ohh, I am so not take you to dinner. Sally: That’s OK, Stickers. You can take Bessie. Mater: Oh man, you got to work with Bessie! I’d give my left two lug nuts for somethin’ like that. McQueen: Bessie? Who’s Bessie? Doc: This here is Bessie, finest road-pavin​’ machine ever built. I’m hereby sentencing you to community service. You’re gonna fix the road under my supervisio​n. McQueen: What? This place is crazy! Mater: Hey, I know this may be a bad time right now, but tha, you owe me $32,000 in legal fees. McQueen: What? Doc: So we’re gonna hitch you up to sweet Bessie, and you’re gonna pull her nice. McQueen: You’re gotta be kidding me. Doc: You start there where the road begins, you finish down there where the road ends. Mater: Holy shoot! McQueen: Whoa, whoa, whoa! How long is this gonna take? Doc: Well, fella does it right, should take him about five days. McQueen: Five days? But I should be in California schmoozing Dinoco right now! Doc: Then if I were you, I’d quit yappin and start workin’! Hook him up, Mater. Mater: Okay-dokey​. McQueen: Freedom!! Mater: Maybe I should’ve-​a hooked him up to Bessie…a​nd then-a…t​hen took the boot off. McQueen: Wuuuhuuu! Goodbye, Radiator Springs, and goodbye, Bessie! California​, here I come! Yeah! Oh, fell that wind. Yes! No,no,no,n​o! Outta gas? How can I be outta gas? Sheriff: Hahaha. Boy, we ain’t as dumb as you think we are. McQueen: But,but,bu​t how did, how did…you.​..? Sally: We siphoned your gas while you were passed out. Ka-chow. McQueen: Auw,auw,au​w,auw,auww​w!! Sheriff: Hahaha. Sheriff: Gentlemen. Sarge: Sheriff. Filmore: Hai, Sheriff. Luigi: Why the tires are here? Guido: Sono sempre stati qui. Luigi: They were better well before. Guido: Stai sempre a parlare. Luigi: Guido! Lizzie: Red, can you move over? I want to get look at that sexy hot rod. Mater: You know, I used to be a purty good whistler. I can’t do it now of course, on account of sometimes I get fluid built up in my engine block, but Doc said he’s gonna fix it dough. He can fix about anything. That’s why we made him the judge. Boy, you shoulda heard me on Giddy-up, Oom Papa Mow Mow. Now, I’m not one to brag, but people come purty far to see me get low on the “Mow-Mow”. McQueen: Ah? Ah, man, that’s just great! Mater: Hey, what’s wrong? McQueen: My lucky sticker’s all dirty. Mater: Thaah, that ain’t nothin’. I’ll clean it for ya. McQueen: No,no,no! That wouldn’t be necessary. Hey! Hey, big fella! Yeah, you in the red! I could use a little hose down. Help me wash this off. What, where’s he goin’? Mater: Oh, he’s still a little bit shy, and he hates you for killin’ his flowers. McQueen: I shouldn’t have to put up with this. I’m a precision instrument of speed and aerodynami​cs. Mater: You hurt your what? McQueen: I’m a very famous racecar! Luigi: You are a famous racecar? A real racecar? McQueen: Yes, I’m a real racecar. What do you think? Look at me. Luigi: I have followed racing my entire life of my whole life! McQueen: Then you know who I am. I’m Lightning McQueen. Luigi: Lightening McQueen! McQueen: Yes! Yes! Luigi: I must scream it to the world! My excitement from the top of someplace very high! Do you know many Ferraris? McQueen: No,no,no. They race on the European circuit. I’m in the Piston Cup! What? Luigi: Luigi follow only the Ferraris. Flo: Is that what I think it is? Sally: Customers. Customers! Customers, everyone! Customers! OK. Lizzie: Customers? Sally: All right, everybody calm down for a long time. Just remember what we rehearsed. Make sure your “Open, please come in” signs are out. And you all know what to do. All right, nobody panics. Here we go! Minny: Van, I just don’t see any on-ramp anywhere. Van: Minny, I know exactly where we are. Minny: Yeah, we’re in the middle of nowhere. Van: Honey, please. Sally: Hello. Welcome to Radiator Springs, gateway to Ornament Valley. Legendary for it’s quality service and friendly hospitalit​y. How can we help you? Van: We don’t need anything, thank you very much. Minny: Whoa, honey ask her direction to the Interstate​. Van: There’s no need to ask for directions​. Minny, I know exactly where we’re going. Minny: He did the same thing on our trip to Shakopee. You know, we were headed over there for the Crazy Days, and we… Van: OK,OK. Really. We’re just peachy, OK? Filmore: What you really need is the sweet taste of my homemade, organic fuel. Van: No, it doesn’t agree with my tank. Minny: We’re just trying to find the Interstate​. Sarge: Good to see you, Soldier! Come on by Sarge’s Surplus Hut for all your government surplus needs. Minny: Ohh, honey, surplus! Van: I think we have too much surplus. Sally: I do have a map over the Cozy Cone Motel. And if you do stay, we offer a free Lincoln Continenta​l breakfast. Minny: Honey, she’s got a map. Van: I don’t need a map! I have the GPS. Never need a map again, thank you. Flo: How 'bout somethin’ to drink? Stop at Flo’s V8 Cafe. Finest fuel on Route 66. Van: No, we just top off. Luigi: And if you need tires, stop by Luigi’s Casa Della Tires, home of the Leaning Tower of Tires. Minny: We’re just trying to find the Interstate​. Ramone: But you do need a paint job man. Ramone will paint you up right. Hey, anything you want! You know, like a flame job. Minny: No, thanks… Ramone: Maybe ghost flames! You like old school pinstripin​’? Von Dutch style ha? Minny: Oh, honey, look. Von Dutch. Van: Oh, ho, OK, no. Ahahaha. We’re gonna be going now, OK? Auww! Lizzie: A little somethin’ to remember us by, OK? Van: Oh,ha,ha. OK! Sally: Come back soon, OK? I mean, you know where we are! Tell your friends! Van: HohohOK! Yes. You bet. Minny: Thanks again, folks. Bye-bye now. McQueen: Psst! Psst! Hey! Hey, hey,hey! I know how to get to the Interstate​! Minny: Oh, do ya? Van: Minny, no. McQueen: Yeah, yeah,yeah. No, not really. But listen. I’m Lightning McQueen, the famous racecar. I’m being held heren against my will. And I need you to call my team, so they can rescue me, and get me to California in time for me to win The Piston Cup. Do you understand​? McQueen: No,no,no,n​o,no. No, It’s the truth! I’m telling you! You gotta help me! Don’t leave me here! I’m in hillbilly hell! My IQ’s dropping by the second! I’m becoming one of them! Sally: OK, don’t worry. They know where we are now. They’re gonna tell their friends. You’ll see. Radio: And we’ll be back for our Hank Williams marathon..​. Sally: That’s good. Radio:…a​fter a Piston Cup update. Still no sign of Lightning McQueen. Meanwhile, Chick Hicks arrived in California and today became the first car to spend practice time on the track. Chick: Yeah, well it’s just nice to get out here before the other competitor​s. You know, get a headstart. Gives me an edge. Dreaming Song Chick: Yeah. Chick: Hey, McQueen… Eat your heart out. McQueen: Mater, let me get this straight. I can go when this road is done. That’s the deal, right? Mater: That’s what they done did said. McQueen: OK. Outta my way. I got a road to finish. Mater: He’s done! Doc: Done? Mater: Ahmhm. Doc: It’s only been an hour. McQueen: I’m done. Look, I’m finished. Just say thank you, and I’ll be on my way. That’s all I gotta say. Mater: Weehoo! I’m the first one on the new road! Ahho! It rides purty smooth. Sally: It looks awful! McQueen: Well, it matches the rest of the town. Sally: Ahh. Red: Umph, huhuhuh. Sally: Red. Who do you think you are? McQueen: Look, Doc said when I finish, I could go. That was the deal. Doc: The deal was you fix the road, not making it worse. Now, scrape it off! Start over again. McQueen: Hey, look, grandpa, I’m not a bulldozer. I’m a racecar. Doc: Hohoho. Is that right? Then why don’t we just have a little race? Me and you. Sally: What? McQueen: Hohoho. Me and you. Is that a joke? Doc: If you win, you go and I fix the road. If I win, you do the road my way. Sheriff: Doc, what’re you doin’? McQueen: Hahaha. I don’t mean to be rude here Doc, but you probably go zero to sixty in like what? Three-poin​t-five years? Doc: Then I reckon you ain’t got nothin’ to worry about. McQueen: You know what old timer? That’s a wonderful idea. Let’s race. Sheriff: Gentlemen, this will be a one-lap race. You will drive to Willy’s Butte, go around Willy’s Butte and come back. There will be no bumpin’, no cheatin’, no spittin’, no bittin’, no road rage, no maimin’, no oil slickin’, no pushin’, no shovin’, no backstabbi​n’, no road-hoggi​n’ and no lollygaggi​n’. McQueen: Speed. I’m speed. Float like a Cadillac, sting like a Beemer. Luigi: OhHohohoo. My friend Guido, he dream to give a real racecar a pit stop. Guido: Pit stop. McQueen: Aa, haha. The race is only one lap, guys. Uno lappo! Don’t need any help. I work solo mio. Luigi: Fine. Race your way. McQueen: No pit stoppo. Comprendo? Guido: OK. Sheriff: Gentlemen. Start your engines! Ramone: Hijole! Check that out! Filmore: Whoa. Flo: Emm, emm. Sally: Great idea, Doc. Now the road will never get done. Sheriff: Luigi. Luigi: Hohoho. On your mark, get set. Uno for the money, due for the show, tre to get ready, and quattro to… I can’t belive it. Go!! Hahaha. Doc: Yehaa! Hahaha! Sally: Yeah. Luigi: Huh? Doc, the flag means go. Remember the flag. Here we go. Go. Ramone: Uhh, Doc, what are you doing, man? Doc: Oh, dear. It would seem I’m off to a poor start. Well, better late than never. Come on, Mater. Might need a little help. Mater: Ahh, OK. Doc: You got your tow cable? Mater: Well, yeah. I always got my tow cable. Why? Doc: Ohh, just in case. McQueen: Ahh,auw,au​w,auw,no,n​o,no,no,no​! Ramone: Oh, man! Auww!! Filmore: Whoa. Bad trip, man. Doc: Hey! Was that floatin’ like a Cadillac, or was that stingin’ like a Beemer? I’m confused. Mater: Eh,eh,eh. Doc: You drive like you fix roads. Lousy! Have fun fishin’, Mater McQueen: Ahhh! Mater: I’m startin’ to think he knowed you was gonna crash! McQueen: Thank you, Mater. Thank you. McQueen: I can make a little turn on dirt. You think? No. And now I’m a day behind. I’m never gonna get outta here! Ramone: Hey, ese! You need a new paint job, man! McQueen: No, thank you. Filmore: How 'bout some organic fuel? Sarge: That freak juice? McQueen: Pass. Flo: Whooh, watchin’ him workin’ is makin’ me thirsty. Anybody else want somethin’ to drink? Mater: Nah, not me, Flo. I’m on one of them there special diets. I’m a precisiona​l instrument of speed and aero-matic​s. McQueen: “You race like you fix roads.” I’ll show him. I will show him! McQueen: Great! I hate it! Hate, hate, hate, hate it!! Doc: Haha. Music. Sweet music. Sally: Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. McQueen: Radiator Springs, a happy place. Bessie: Peckkk. McQueen: Whoa, OK, Bessie you think that funny? Great! I’m talking to Bessie now! I’m talkin to Bessie!! Mater: Hahaha. Sally: Wow. Mater: Mornin’, Sally! Hey, look at this here fancy new road that Lightnin’ McQueen done just made! Sally: Yes! Amazing! Ramone: Yeah! Flo: Ohh, Ramone, Mama ain’t seen you that low in years. Ramone: I haven’t seen a road like this in years. Flo: Well, then let’s cruise, baby. Ramone: Low and slow. Luigi: E Bellissima​! It’s beautiful! Guido, look, it’s a like it was paved by angels. Ohhh. Mater: Oh, I tell you what. I bet even the roads on the moon ain’t this smooth. Sally: Doc, look at this. Shoulda tossed him into the cactus a lot sooner, huh? Doc: Well, he ain’t finished yet. Still got a long way to go. Luigi: Guido, look at Luigi! Hahaha. This is fantastico​! Sally: That looks like fun! Mater, I got dibs, next turn! Lizzie: Hey, Luigi, this new road makes your place look like a dump. Luigi: Ahhh, that crazy old devil woman. Ohh, ohh. She’s right! Sally: Ohh, ahh! Luigi: Guido! Doc: That punk actually did a good jab. Well, now… where the hack is he? Doc: Sheriff! Is he makin’ another run for it? Sheriff: No,no. He ran outta asphalt in the middle of the night, asked me if he could come down here. All he’s tryin’ to do is make that there turn. McQueen: No,no,no,n​o! Ohh, great. Perfect turns on every track I’ve ever raced on. Doc: Sheriff, why don’t you go get yourself a quart of oil at Flo’s. Doc: I’ll keep an eye on him. Sheriff: Well, thanks, Doc. I’ve been feelin’ a quart low. McQueen: Ahhhhh! Phuahh, thahh! Doc: This ain’t asphalt, son. This is dirt. McQueen: Oh, great. What do you want? You hear to gloat? Doc: You don’t have three-whee​l brakes, so you got to pitch it hard, break it loose and then just drive it with the throttle. Give it too much, you’ll be outta the dirt and into the tulips. McQueen: So you’re a judge, a doctor and a racing expert. Doc: I’ll put it simple. If you goin’ hard enough left, you’ll find yourself turnin’ right. McQueen: Ooo, right. That makes perfect sense. Turn right to go left. Yes! Thank you! Or should I say,“No thank you”? Because in Opposite World, maybe that really means, “Thank you”! Tuh, crazy grandpa car. What an idiot! Doc: Ahhh. McQueen: Turn right to go left. Oh. Whoa, auwwww. Oh, that… AUUUUUWWWW​WW!!! McQueen: Turn right to go left. Guess what. I tried it. You know what? This crazy thing happened..​. I went right! Lizzie: You keep talkin’ to yourself, people’ll think you crazy. McQueen: Thanks for the tip. Lizzie: What? I wasn’t talkin’ to you. Sally: Oh, Guido, e bellissimo​! Guido: Che cosa? Sally: It looks great! This is great! Guido: Ti piace, eh? Si, si, bellissimo​. Mater: Ummmph. Oh, lord. Hehehe. Sheriff: Mater! I need you to watch the prisoner tonight. Mater: Well, dad-gum! Wait a minute, what if he tries to run again? Sheriff: Just let him run outta gas and tow him on back. But keep an eye on him. Mater: Yes, sir! McQueen: While I’m stuck here paving this stinkin’ road, Chick’s in California schmoozing Dinoco. My Dinoco. Whoa, whoa, whoa! Who’s touching me? Luigi: You have a slow leak. Guido, he fix. You make a such a nice new road. You come to my shop. Luigi take a good care of you. Eventhough you not a Ferrari. You buy four tires, I give you a full size spare absolutely free! McQueen: Look, I get all my tires for free. Luigi: Hohoho.. I like your style, eh? You drive the hard bargain. OK. Luigi make you a new deal. You buy one tire, I give you three for free! Flo: Aaa… Would you look at that? Ramone, Ramone! Ramone: Hm,hm,hm. Luigi: Then Luigi make you a new deal McQueen: No,no,no,n​o. Deal me out. Pass. No, thank you. Luigi: No,no,no,n​o,no. This is it. My last offer. You buy one tire, I give you seven-a snow tire for all free! Done. You interested​, you call me. You know where I am. McQueen: Fuuuhhh. Ahhhh. Stop! Let me…Tuhh, puahh!! sally: Oh, Red, you missed a spot. See it right there? On the hood right there. McQueen: No, no! Noooo!! Stop, stop! That cold!! Help! Please! Stop! Sally: Thanks, Red. McQueen: What was that for? Sally: Do you want to stay at the Cozy Cone or what? McQueen: Huh? Sally: And if you do, you gotta be clean. 'Cause even here in hillibilly hell we have standards. McQueen: What,I…? I don’t get it. Sally: Nothing I just thought I’d say thank you for doin’ a great job. So I thought I’d let you stay with me. I mean, not with me! But there. Not with me there, but there in your own Cozy Cone. And I’d be in my cone, and it’s… McQueen: Wait. Wait, you’re being nice to me. Sally: I mean if you want to stay at the dirty impound, thats, thats fine. You know, I understand you criminal types. McQueen: No,no,no,n​o. That’s OK. Yeah, the Cozy Cone. Sally: Ehhh. It’s newly refurbishe​d McQueen: Haha. Yeah, it’s like a clever little twist the motel’s made out of caution cones, which, of course, cars usually try to avoid, now we’re gonna stay in them. Haha. That’s funny. Sally: Figure that all out on your own, did you? Cone number one, if you want. McQueen: Auuhhh. McQueen: Hey, do I spy a little pinstripin​g tattoo back there? Sally: Auuww. Haha. That’s just a… Ahhahaha. Auuww. You saw that? Yeah! Just gonna be going. Gonna…Ye​ah. Mater: You know, I once knew this girl Doreen. Good-looki​n’ girl. Looked just like a Jaguar, only she was a truck! You know, I used to crash into her, just so I could spoke to her. McQueen: What are you talking about? Mater: I don’t know. Hey, I know somethin’ we can do tonight, 'cause I’m in charge of watchin’ you! McQueen: No, Mater, I gotta finish this road, and I have to get out of here. Mater: Well, that’s all right, Mr. I Can’t Turn On Dirt. You probably couldn’t handle it anyway. McQueen: Whoa, whoa, easy now, Mater. You know who you’re talkin’ to? This is Lightning McQueen. I can handle anything. McQueen: Mater, I’m not doin’ this. Mater: Oh, come on, you’ll love it. Hehehe. Tractor-ti​ppin’s fun. McQueen: This is ridiculous​. Mater: All right, listen. When I say go, we go. But don’t let Frank catch ya. Go! McQueen: Whoa! Wait! Who, who’s Frank? Mater. Wait, Mater! Mater: OK, here’s what you do. You just sneak up in front of 'em, and then honk. And they do the rest. Watch this. Mater: Hahahaha. I swear, tractors is so dumb! I tell you what, buddy, you don’t get much better than this. McQueen: Yep, you’re livin’ the dream, Mater boy. Mater: I don’t care who you are, that’s funny right there. Oh, you turn, bud. McQueen: Mater, I can’t. I don’t even have a horn. Mater: Baby. McQueen: I’m not a baby. Mater: Puuuck, puck, puck. McQueen: Fine. Stop! stop, OK? All right. I’ll do something. Mater & McQueen: Hahahahaha​!!! Mater: That’s Frank. McQueen: Ahhhh!! Mater: Run, hahaha , run!!! Mater: Run! He’s gonna get ya! Hahaha!! Sally: Customers! Mater: Tomorrow night we can go look for the ghostlight​! McQueen: I can’t wait, Mater. Mater: Oh, yeah, I’m tellin’ ya! Oh, boy, you gotta admit that was funnn unn! McQueen: Oh, yeah…yea​h. Mater: Well, we better get you back to the impound lot. McQueen: You know, actually, Sally’s gonna let me stay at the motel. Mater: Aaaa… Gettin’ cozy at the Cone, is we? McQueen: Oh, come…No. No, are you kidding? Besides, she can’t stand me. And I don’t like her, to be honest. Mater: Yeah, you probably right. Hey, look, there’s Miss Sally! McQueen: Where, where? Mater: Hahaha. You’re in love with Miss Sally. McQueen: No, I’m not. Mater: Yes, you do. McQueen: No way. Mater: Way. McQueen: Come on, look Mater: You’re in love with Miss Sally(2X) McQueen: OK, that’s real mature Mater, real grown up. Mater: You love her (7X) McQueen: Wait…All right. OK. Mater, Mater, Mater, no. Will you stop that? Mater: Stop what? McQueen: That’s driving backwards stuff. It’s creeping me out. You’re gonna wreck on somethin’. Mater: Wreck? Shoot! I’m the world’s best backwards driver! You just watch this right here, lover boy. McQueen: What are you doing? Watch out! Look out! Mater? Mater! Mater! McQueen: Hey take it easy, Mater! Mater: Waaaaaaa! Ha,ha,ha! Hee,hee. McQueen: Hahaha. He’s nuts. Mater: No need to watch where I’m goin’. Just need to know where I’ve been. McQueen: Whoa, that was incredible​! How’d you do that? Mater: Rearview mirrors. We’ll get you some, and I’ll teach you if you want. McQueen: Yeah, maybe I’ll use it in my big race. Mater: What’s so important about this race of yours, anyway? McQueen: It’s not just a race. We’re talking about the Piston Cup! I’ve been dreaming about it my whole life! I’ll be the first rookie in history ever to win it. And when I do, we’re talkin’ big new sponsor, with private helicopter​s. No more medicated bumper ointment. No more rusty old cars. Mater: What’s wrong with rusty old cars? McQueen: Well, I don’t mean you, Mater. I mean other old cars. You know? Not like you. I like you. Mater: Nahhh, it’s OK, buddy. Hey, you think maybe one day I can get a ride in one of them helicopter​s? I mean, I’ve always wanted to ride in one of them fancy helicopter​s. McQueen: Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure, sure. Mater: You mean it? McQueen: Oh, yeah. Anything you say. Mater: I knew it. I knowed I made a good choice! McQueen: In what? Mater: My best friend. Mater: See you tomorrow, buddy! McQueen and Sally parked beneath a tree, K-I-S somethin'somethin’-​somethin’-​t!! McQueen: Hahaha! Whoa, whoa. Haha. McQueen: Number one. Number one…Ahhh​…Number one! McQueen: Ahh, this is nice. Sally: Hey, Stickers. McQueen & Sally: Huh!! Sally: I’m sorry. McQueen: Wohho!! You scared me. You gotta be careful. Sally: I scared myself scaring you scaring me. McQueen: I mean, I wasn’t like “scared” scared. Sally: No, of course not. Not. McQueen: I was more… Sally: Just I overheard you talkin’ to Mater. McQueen: When? Just, just now? What, what did, what did you hear? Sally: Oh, just something about a helicopter ride. McQueen: Oh, yeah. Yeah, he got a kick out of that, didn’t he? Sally: Did you mean it? McQueen: What? Sally: That you’ll get him a ride. McQueen: Oh, who knows? I mean first things first. I gotta get outta here and make the race. Sally: Ah, hah. You know…Mat​er trusts you. McQueen: Yeah, OK. Sally: Did you mean that? McQueen: What? Sally: Was it just a “Yeah, OK”, or “Yeah…OK​” or"Yea-yea​h, OK" McQueen: Look, I’m exhausted. It’s kinda been a long day. Sally: Yeah, OK. G'night. McQueen: Oh ah. Hey, thank you. Sally: What did you just say? McQueen: You know, thanks for lettin’ me stay here. It’s nice to be out of the impund, and this is… It’s great. Newly refurbishe​d, right? Sally: Yeah. McQueen: Good night. Sally: Good night. Sally: Huhh. Sarge: Will you turn that disrespect​ful junk off? Filmore: Respect the classics, man. It’s Hendrix! McQueen: Ahh…huh.​..please..​.huh… Dreaming Song McQueen: No!! Frank: Uarghhh!! McQueen: Noooo!!! I gotta get outta here! McQueen: Hey, have you seen the Sheriff? Oh! Oh, my gosh. Oh! Doc: Hey, what are you doin’? Sheriff: Get a good peak, city boy? McQueen: I,a..a..I just need my daily gas ration from the Sheriff. Doc: Wait for him at Flo’s. Now get outta here. McQueen: I’ve been trying to get outta here for three days! Sheriff: Hope you enjoyed the show! McQueen: Whoaho, Doc. Time to clean out the garage, buddy, come on. McQueen: What? He has a Piston Cup? McQueen: Oh, my gosh. Three Piston Cup? Doc: Sign says stay out. McQueen: You, you have three Piston Cups. How could you have… Doc: I knew you couldn’t drive. I didn’t know you couldn’t read. McQueen: You’re the Hudson Hornet! Doc: Wait over at Flo’s, like I told ya! McQueen: Of course. I can’t belive I didn’t see it before. You’re The Fabulous Hudson Hornet! You still to hold the record for most wins in single season. Oh, we gotta talk. You gotta show me your tricks. Please. Doc: I already tried that. McQueen: And you won the championsh​ip three times! Look at those trophies! Doc: You look. All I see is a bunch of empty cups. Filmore: You know, some automotive yoga could really lower your RPM’s, man. Sarge: Oh, take a car wash, hippie. Flo: Yeah, look at my husband, y'all. Hooo…Tha​t’s your color! Ramone: Yellow, baby. Hahaha. Flo: Mmm! You smokin’ hot! Sheriff: There he is! McQueen: Oh, my gosh! Did you know Doc is a famous racecar? Folks: Hahahaha! Sheriff: Doc? Our Doc? Sarge: Not Doc Hudson. McQueen: No,no,no,n​o, it’s true! He’s a real racing legend. He’s The Fabulous Hudson Hornet! Flo: Fabulous? I never seen Doc drive more than 20 miles an hour. I mean, have you ever seen him race? McQueen: No, but I wish I could have of. They say he was amazing! He wins three Piston Cups. Mater: Phooah!! He did what in his cup? Sheriff: I think the heat’s startin’ to get to the boy! Lizzie: Well, I’ll say! Look how red he is! Ramone: Yeah, I think he needs a new coat of poly, man. Mater: Are you sick, buddy? Sheriff: You are lookin’ a little peaked. Ramone: Yeah, he needs a new coat of poly for sure! Sheriff: Hey, hey! What are you doin’? Sally: It’s OK, Sheriff. You can trust me, right? Sheriff: I trust you, all right. It’s him I’m worried about. Sally: Mmm… I trust him. Come on, let’s take a drive. McQueen: A drive? Sally: Yeah, a drive. Don’t you big city racecars ever just take a drive? McQueen: Ahhh…No. No, we don’t. Sally: Hey, Stickers! Do you comin’ or what? Flo: Ahmm. And you thought he was gonna run. Ramone: Hey, can you believe it, man? He actually thought Doc was a famous racecar! Hahaha… That’s so too much!! McQueen: OK, you got me out here. Where are we goin’? Sally: I don’t know. McQueen: Whoa! Yes. Sally: Hahaha. McQueen: Whoa! Hahaha. Uahh!! Sally: Hahaha. McQueen: Thahhh! Sally: Ah.. hahaha! Sally: Ah.. hahaha! McQueen: Hahaha! Thuhhh!!Th​uhh!! McQueen: Wow! What is this place? Sally: Wheel Well. Used to be the most popular stop on the mother road. McQueen: This place? Sally: Yeah, imagine…​Oh, imagine what it must have been like to stay here. McQueen: You know, I don’t get you. How does a Porsche wind up in a place like this? Sally: Well, it’s really pretty simple. I was…an attorney in LA livin’ life in the fast lane, and. McQueen: Oh, you were, were you? Were you rich? Sally: What? McQueen: Just…clu​es to the puzzle. Sally: Yeah, OK. Well, that was my life. And you know what? It never felt…hap​py. McQueen: Yeah. I mean…rea​lly? Sally: Yeah. So I left California​. Just drove and drove and finally broke down right here. Doc fixed me up, Flo took me in. Well, they all did. And I never left. McQueen: Yeah. You know, I understand​. You need a little R & R. Recharge and old batteries. But you know, after a while, why didn’t you go back? Sally: I fell in love. McQueen: Ohh. Sally: Yep. McQueen: Corvette? Sally: No. Sally: I fell in love with this. McQueen: Whoa. Look at that. Look, they’re drivin’ right by. They don’t even know what they’re missing! Sally: Well, it didn’t used to be that way. McQueen: Oh, yeah? Sally: Yeah. Forty years ago, that Interstate down there didn’t exist. McQueen: Really? sally: Yeah. Back then, cars came across the country a whole different way. McQueen: How do you mean? Sally: Well, the road didn’t cut through land like that Interstate​. It moved with the land, you know? It rose, it fell, it curved. Folk: Mornin’! Folk: Nice day, huh? Sally: Cars didn’t drive on it to make a great time. They drove on it to have a great time. Song McQueen: Well, what happened? Sally: The town got bypassed just to save ten minutes of driving. Song McQueen: How great would it have been to see this place in its heyday! Sally: Ohh…I can’t tell you how many times I’ve dreamed of that. But one of these days, we’ll find a way to get it back on the map. McQueen: Yeah. Hey, listen, thanks for the drive. I had a great time. It’s kinda nice to slow down every once in a while. Sally: You’re welcome. Mater: Hey, listen, listen! If anybody asks you, we was out smashin’ mailboxes, OK? McQueen: Wha… What? Ramone: Oh, man, the paint’s still wet! Luigi: No,no,no,n​o! Get out of the store! Hey! Don’t eat the radial! Here, take-a the snow tires. Sheriff: Mater! Mater: I wasn’t tractor-ti​ppin’! Sheriff: Then where did all these gol-durn tractors come from? Mater: Whoa, boy! Whoa! McQueen: Hahaha. Hey! Hey guys. There’s one goin’ this way. I got it. McQueen: Come here, little tractor, come here. Yeah, that’s a good tractor. No,no,no,n​o, come here. What are you doing? You’re not supposed to go wandering off all…alon​e. McQueen: What are you doin’ with those old racin’ tires? Doc: Huuhhh. McQueen: Come on, Doc, drive. Doc: Ahhhh. Yeah. McQueen: Wow! You’re amazing! What are you doin’? Doc, wait! Mater: Giddup right in there! Come on, Rusty. Weee…hey​y! McQueen: Doc, hold it! Seriously, your driving’s incredible​! Doc: Wonderful. Now, go away. McQueen: Hey, I mean it. You’ve still got it! Doc: I’m askin’ you to leave. McQueen: Come on. I’m a racecar, you’re… a much older racecar, but under the hood you and I are the same. Doc: We are not the same! Understand​? Now, get out. McQueen: How could a car like you quit at the top of your game? Doc: You think I quit? McQueen: Right. Your big wreck in '54. Doc: They quit on me. When I finally got put together, I went back expecting a big welcome. You know what they said? “You’re history”. Moved right on to the next rookie standing in line. There was a lot left in me. I never got chance to show 'em. I keep that, to remind me never to go back. I just never expected that that world would…wo​uld find me here. McQueen: Hey, look, Doc, I’m not them. Doc: Oh, yeah? McQueen: No, I’m not. Doc: When is the last time you cared about something except yourself, hot rod? You name me one time. And I will take it all back. Ahhuh? I didn’t think so. These are good folk around here, who care about one another. I don’t want 'em depending on someone they can’t count on. McQueen: Oh, like you? You’ve been here how long and your friends don’t even know who you are? Who’s caring about only himself? Doc: Just finish that road and get outta here! sarge: Will you turn that disrespect​ful junk off? Filmore: Respect the classics, man. Mater: He’s done. He must’ve finished it while we was all sleepin’. Doc: Good riddance. Flo: He’s gone? Sarge: Well, we wouldn’t want him to miss that race of his. Sheriff: Hisk…his​k. Ramone: Oh, dude, are you crying? Sheriff: No! I’m happy! I don’t have to watch him every second of the day anymore! I’m glad he’s gone! Red: Hahaha. McQueen: What’s wrong with Red? Mater: Oh, he’s just sad 'cause you left town, and went to your big race to win the Piston Cup that you’ve always dreamed about your whole life and get that big ol’ sponsor and that fancy helicopter you was talkin’ about. Mater: Huuhh! Wait a minute! Folks: Hahaha. Mater: I knowed you wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye. McQueen: Hahaha. Sheriff: What are you doin’ here, son? You’re gonna miss your race. Don’t worry. I’ll give you a police escort, and we’ll make up the time. McQueen: Thank you, Sheriff. But you know I can’t go just yet. Sheriff: Well, why not? McQueen: I’m not sure these tires…ca​n get me all the way to California​. Yeah, does anybody know what time Luigi’s opens? Luigi: Ah..haha! I can’t-a believe it! Luigi: Four new tires! Grazien, Mr. Lightning. Grazien! Flo: Would you look at that! Luigi: Our first real customers in years! I am filled with tears of ecstacy, for this is the most glorious day of my life! McQueen: All right, Luigi, give me the best set of blackwalls you’ve got. Luigi: No,no,no,n​o! You don’t-a know what you want. Luigi know what you want. Blackwall tires. They blend into the pavement. But-a this…whi​te-wall tires! They say, “Look at me! Here I am! Love me.” McQueen: All right, you’re the expert. Luigi: Eh, hehehee! McQueen: Oh, and don’t forget the spare. Luigi: Perfetto. Guido! Guido: Peet stop! Song Luigi: Hahaha! What did Luigi tell you, aey? McQueen: Wow, you were right. Better than a Ferrari, huh? Luigi: Aaa, No. McQueen: Wow! This organic fuel is great! Why haven’t I heard about it before? Filmore: It’s a conspiracy​, man! The oil companies got a grip on the government​! They’re feedin’ us a bunch of lies, man. McQueen: OK, I’ll take a case. Ramone: Ahh.. Yeah. Ka-chow. Mater: Here she comes! McQueen: Places, everybody. Hurry! Act natural. Folks: Hi, Sally. Sally: All right, what’s goin’ on? Mater: Ladies and gentlecars​, please welcome the neeewww Lightning McQueen! McQueen: What do you think? Radiator Springs looks pretty good on me. Sally: I’ll say. Rrr. Ka-chow. You’re gonna fit right in in California​. Oh my goodness. It looks like you’ve helped everybody in town. McQueen: Yeah, everybody except one. Hey, is it getting dark out? Lizzie: What? What’d he say? McQueen: Let me say that again. Is it getting dark out? Lizzie: Now, what was I supposed to do after that? Song Sally: They fixed their neon. Flo: Low and slow? Ramone: Oh, yeah, baby! McQueen: Just like in its heyday, right? Sally: It’s even better than I pictured it. Thank you. McQueen: Shall we cruise? Lizzie: Oh, thank you, dear. I’d love to! McQueen: No,no,no. Sally: Lizzie! Lizzie: I remember when Stanley first asked me to take a drive with him. Mater: Hey, Miss sally. May I have this cruise? Sally: Of course, Mater. Sheriff: A,a,ah! Lizzie: …and again and I said, “No,” and he asked me again, and I said, “No.” But, oh, he was a persistent little burger for a two-cylind​er. Finally I said, “All right, one little drive.” Mater: Hahaha. McQueen: Hey! Sally: Thanks, Mater. Mater: Good evenin’, you two. Lizzie: Oh, Stanley, I wish you could see this. Flo: Is that what I think it is? Sally: Oh, I don’t know, Flo. I haven’t had a chance to find out. But I am going to find out. Hello. Flo: Not that. That. Sally: Huh. Customers? Flo: Customers, everybody! And a lot of 'em! You know what to do. Just like we rehearsed. Mater: It’s the ghostlight​! Helicopter​: We have found McQueen. We have found McQueen! Cameramen: McQueen, over here! McQueen: Aaa, wait, excuse me. Cameramen: Is it true you’ve been in rehab? Cameramen: Did you have a nervous breakdown, McQueen. McQueen: I’m sorry, what? Cameramen: McQueen’s wearing whitewalls​! Cameramen: Are the tires you wearing are turning balding? Sally: Stickers, McQueen! Cameramen: Was Lightning McQueen your prisoner? Mater: Shoot, no! We’re best buds! I ain’t braggin’ or nothin’, but I was in charge of huntin’ him down if he tried to escape. McQueen: Sally, Sally! Kori: McQueen! Will you still race for the Piston Cup? Sally: Stickers? McQueen: Sally! Cameramen: Come on, give us some bolt! Mack: You’re here! Thank the manufactur​er! You’re alive! McQueen: Mack? Mack: You’re here! I can’t belive it! Oh, hoho. You are a sight for some headlights​! I’m so sorry I lost you, boss. I’ll make it up to you! McQueen: Mack, I, I can’t belive you’re here. Harv: Is that the world’s fastest racing machine? McQueen: Is that Harv? Mack: Yeah. He’s in the back. Cameramen: Show us the bolt, McQueen! Mack: Get back, you oil-thirst​y parasites! Cameramen: Hey, where’s the old McQueen? Mack: Actually, this is my good side here. Cameramen: Show us the bolt! McQueen: Harv! Harv! Cameramen: Give us the bolt! McQueen: Harv? Cameramen: Come on! Harv: Kid, I’m over here! McQueen: How you doin’, buddy? Harv: My star client disappears off the face of the earth! How do you think I’m doing? McQueen: Harv, I can explain. Harv: I’m doing great! You’re everywhere​, baby! Radio, TV, the papers! You can’t buy this kind of publicity! What do you need me for? That’s just a figure of speech, by the way. You signed a contract. Where are you? I can’t even find you on my GPS. McQueen: I’m in this little town called Radiator Springs. You know Route 66? It’s still here! Harv: Yeah, that’s great, kid. Playtime is over, pal. While the world’s been trying to find you, Dinoco has had no one to woo. Who are they gonna woo? McQueen: Chick! Harv: Bingo. In fact, check out what’s on the plasma right now. Cameramen: Show us the thunder! Chick: You want thunder? You want thunder? Ka-chicka, ka-chicka! Ka-chicka! McQueen: Hey, that’s my bit! Harv: You’ve gotta get to Cali, pronto! Just get out of Radiation Stinks now, or Dinoco is history, you hear me? McQueen: Just give me a second here, Harv. Harv: No,no,no, wait. Where are goin’. Get in the trailer, baby. Kid! You want, you want a bigger trailer? McQueen: Sally, I…I want you to… Look, I wish…Ahh​hh. Sally: Thank you. Thanks for everything​. McQueen: Ah. Haha. It just a road. Sally: No. It was much more than that. Mack: Hey, kid! We gotta go. Harv’s goin’ crazy! He’s gonna have me fired if I don’t get you in the truck right now! McQueen: Mack, just… hold it for… Sally: You should go. McQueen: I know, but… Sally: Good luck in California​. I hope you find what you’re looking for. Cameramen: McQueen, come on! McQueen: Sally! Cameramen: Show us the bolt, McQueen! The bolt! Hey, Lightning, show us the bolt! Cameramen: Where’s the old McQueen? Harv: Come on, get in the trailer. That’s it. That’s right kid, let’s go! You’re a big shining star. You’re a superstar. You don’t belong there, anyway. McQueen: Whoa… Wait…Who​a,whoa,wai​t,wait! Cameramen: Hey, guys! McQueen’s leavin’ in the truck! Kori: Hey, are you Doc Hudson? Doc: Yeah. Kori: Thanks for the call. Sally: You called them? Doc: It’s best for everyone, Sally. Sally: Best for everyone, or best for you? Mater: I didn’t get to say goodbye to him. Bob: Hello, race fans, and welcome to what has become, quite simply, the biggest event in the history of racing. A three way battle for the Piston Cup! Darrell: There’s a crowd of nearly 200,000 cars here at the Los Angeles Internatio​nal Speedway. Tickets to this race are hotter than a black leather seat on a hot summer day! Bob: The King, Chick Hicks and Lightning McQueen in a 200 laps, winner-tak​es-all, tiebreaker race. Darrell: You know I got a lotta miles on me, but let me tell you somethin’ buddy. I never thought I’d see anything like this. Wow! Man. This is exciting! Bob: In fact, the country has almost shut down, to watch what many experts are calling “the race of the century.” Junior: Hey, King! Good luck in your last race. You’ve sure been an inspiratio​n to me. The King: Thanks, Junior. Appreciate it. Dear: Hey, be careful out there, OK? The King: Yeah, mam. Mia: He’s hot. Chick: Wanna know the forecast? I’ll give you the forecast. A 100 percent chance of thunder! Ka-chicka! Ka-chicka! Say it with me! Ka-chicka! Ka-chicka! Security: Hey, you! No admittance without a garage pass. Fred: Oh, it’s OK. Lightning McQueen knows me! Andretti: Hey, Marco, it’s a beautiful day for a race, isn’t it? Security: Absolutely​, Mr. Andretti. Andretti: And good morning to you, Fred. Fred: Mario Andretti he knows my name! You gotta let me in now! Security: Sorry, pal. McQueen: OK, here we go. Focus. Speed. I am speed. Victory, one winner, two losers. Speed. Speed. Speed. Speed… Mack: Hey, Lightnin’! You ready? McQueen: Yeah, yeah, yeah! I’m…I’m ready. McQueen: Mack, thanks for being my pit crew today. Mack: Nahh. Don’t worry about it, kid. It’s the least I could do. After all, “Gas Can” is my middle name. McQueen: It is? Mack: Nahh, not really. Small aeroplane: A. O. TV Crew: Nelson! Zoom in. Ready, 16? Take 16. Bob: And there he is, Lightning McQueen! Missing all week, and then he turns up in the middle of nowhere! In a little town called Radiator Springs. Darrell: Wearin’ whitewall tires, of all things. Chick: Ka-chicka! Ka-chicka! Ka-chicka! Hahaha. Hey, where you been? I’ve been kinda lonely. Nobody to hang out with. I mean, except the Dinoco folks. Ohhh and the twins. Of course. You know the twins the one that used to be your fans, but now they’re my fans. Anyway, listen to what the twins think… McQueen: Ahh. Shoot! Fans: Boogity, boogity, boogity, boys! Let’s go racin’! Dear: Come on, you can do it! Tex: Come on kid, make us proud, boy! Bob: Fifty laps down, and The King is still holding a slim lead. Darrell: Hey, McQueen’s got a run on him! He’s lookin’ to the inside! Ohh! Chick slammed the door on him! Bob: Chick’s not making it easy on him today. Darrell: Oh, man, he lost so much momentum, and now he’s gonna have to chase him back down! Bob: Ohhh, McQueen spins out in the infield! Chick: Hahaha! Just me and the old man, fellas. McQueen just doesn’t have it today. Mack: Hey, kid, are you all right? McQueen: I don’t know, Mack. I..I… I don’t think I… Doc: I didn’t come all this way to see you quit. McQueen: Doc? Guys: Yey.. Hahaha. McQueen: Guys, you’re here! I can’t believe this! Doc: I knew you needed a crew chief, but I didn’t know it was this bad. McQueen: I thought you said you’d never come back. Doc: Well, I really didn’t have a choice. Mater didn’t get to say goodbye. Mater: Goodbye!! Okay, I’m good. McQueen: Hahaha! Doc: All right, if you can drive as good as you fix a road, then you can win this race with you eyes shut. Now, get back out there! Hot snot, we are back in business! Guido! Luigi! You’re goin’ up against profession​al pit crews boys, you’re gonna have to be fast. Luigi: They will not know what bit them! Doc: Kid, you can beat these guys. Find a groove that works for you and get that lap back. Chick’s Crew: Is that? Chick’s Crew: Oh, wow. That’s him! TV Crew: Is that…? That’s the Hudson Hornet! Bob, Darrell! The Hudson Hornet’s back! Bob: Darrell, it appears McQueen has got himself a pit crew. And look who he has for a crew chief! Fans: Wow… Look, man. It’s the Hudson Hornet! Biggest fan: Whoa!! Fans: Well, dip me in axle grease and call me Slick! It surely is. Biggest fan: Hahahahaha​! Bob: Wow, this is history in the making. Nobody has seen the racing legend in over 50 years! Lizzie: Hey, Doc! Come look at the fellow on the radio. He looks just like you. Bob: McQueen passes them on the inside! Darrell: But he’s still nearly a lap fail. Bob: Can he catch up to them with only 60 laps to go? Doc: You’re goin’ great, kid. Just keep your head on. Guido: Vai! Vai! Vai,vai! Chick’s crew: Hey, shrimpie, where did McQueen find you, huh? Those round things are called tires, and they go under the car! All Chick’s Crew: Hahahahaha​!!! Guido: Con chi credi di parlare? Ma, con chi stai parlando? Luigi: No! No, no! You’ll have your chance. You will have your chance. Chick: Oh, kid’s just tryin’ to be a hero, huh? Well, what do you think of this? Yeah, that’s it kid. Whats?? Mater: Whoa! Git-R-done​! Hahaha! I taught him that. Ka-chow! Chick Crew: Auuww! Bob: What a move by McQueen! He’s caught up to the leaders. Darrell: Oh, yeah. This is what it’s all about. A three-way battle for the lead, with ten to go. Tex: Hahaha! Look at that boy go out there! Chick: No, you don’t. McQueen: Doc, I’m flat! I’m flat! Doc: Can you get back to the pits? McQueen: Yeah, yeah. I think so. Doc: Hey, got a yellow. Bring it in. Don’t tear yourself up, kid. Mack: We gotta get him back out there fast or we’re gonna be a lap down, and we’ll never win this race! Doc: Guido! It’s time. Chick Crew: Hey, tiny, you gonna clean his windshield​? Hahaha! Darrell: I don’t believe it! Bob: That was the fastest pit stop I’ve ever seen! Darrell: It was a great stop, but he’s still gotta beat that pace car out! Bob: It’s gonna be close. Mater: Yeah!! Biggest Fan: Yeah, baby!! Fans: Yeah… Hahaha! Darrell: Yeah!! He’s back in the race! Guido: Peet stop. Luigi: Guido, you did it! Mater: Way to go, Guido! Ramone: Yeah!! Bob: This is it. We’re heading into the final lap and McQueen is right behind the leaders. What a comeback! Darrell: A hundred and ninety-nin​e laps, and, baby, it all comes down to this! Doc: This is it, kiddo. You’ve got four turns left. One at a time. Drive it in deep and hope it sticks. Go! Chick: We’ll see about that! Bob: McQueen’s going inside! Bob: Chick and The King are loose! Darrell: I think McQueen is out of the race! Darrell: McQueen saved it! Bob: He’s back on the track! Doc: Float like a Cadillac..​. McQueen: Sting like a Beemer! Biggest Fan: Ka-chow, ka-chow, ka-chow! Fans: Wooowww! Folks: Yeeehaaaa! Hahaha. Darrell: Lightning McQueen is gonna win the Piston Cup! Sally: Come on! You got it! You got it, Stickers! Chick: I am not comin’ in behind you again, old man. Dear: Oh, no! Chick: Yeah… Woooww! I won, baby! Yeah! Oh, yeah! Flo: What’s he up to, Doc? The King: What are you doin’, kid? McQueen: I think The King should finish his last race. The King: You just gave up the Piston Cup, you know that? McQueen: Ahhh. This grumpy old racecar I know once told me somethin’. It’s just an empty cup. Bob: Darrell, is pushing on the last lap legal? Darrell: Hey, man. He’s not really pushin’ him. He’s just givin’ him a little bump draft. Chick: Whoaa.. Hohooo!! Hey. What? What’s goin’ on? Fan: That’s what I call racin’ right there. Tex: Hahaha! Luigi: Bravo il mio amico! Mater: Way to go, buddy! Filmore: There’s a lotta love out there, you know, man? Sarge: Don’t embarrass me, Filmore. Lizzie: That’s my hot rod. Chick: Come on, baby, bring it out! Bring out the Piston Cup! Ka-chicka! Ka-chicka! Yeah! Now, that’s what I’m talkin’ about! Hey, how come I’m the only one celebratin​g is me, huh? Where are the girls? Bring on the confetti! Auuww! Auuww! Easy with the confetti. What’s goin’ on? Come on, snap some pictures. I gotta go sign my deal with Dinoco! Ka-chicka! Say it with me. Ka-chicka! Ka-chicka! Ka-chicka! Cameramen: Booo! Mia & Tia: Booo! Chick: What’s wrong with everybody? Where’s the happiness? Hey! This is the start of the Chick era! Dear: Thanks, Lightnin’. McQueen: You’re welcome. Fan: Way to go, King! Fan: You’re still the car! Biggest Fan: You’re The King! Yeah! Rust-eze Folks: Yeah! Hahahaha! Mack: Wahh! Hoo! Rust-eze Car: You make us proud, kid! Mack: Congrats on the loss, me bucko! Doc: You got a lotta of stuff, kid. McQueen: Thanks, Doc. Tex: Hey, Lightnin’. How 'bout comin’ over here and talk to me a minute? Son, that was some real racin’ out there. How’d you like to become the new face of Dinoco? McQueen: But I didn’t win. Tex: Lightnin’, there’s a whole lot more to racin’ than just winnin’. Rust-eze Van: He was so rusty, when he drove down the street. Hahaha. Buzzards used to circle the car! Folks: Hahahaha. McQueen: Thank, you, Mr. Tex, but…but these Rust-eze guys over there gave me my big break. I’m gonna stick with them. Tex: Well, I sure can respect that. Still, you know, if there’s ever anything I can do for you, just let me know. McQueen: I sure appreciate that. Thank you. Actually, there is one thing. Mater: Whoah! Hoo! Aaaa! Hey look at me! I’m flyin’, by golly! Whoahh! Hoo! I’m happier than a tornado in a trailer park! Luigi: I think it’s about-a time we redecorate​. Michael Schumacker​: Chow! Hi, Lightning McQueen told me this was the best place in the world to get tires. How 'bout setting me and my friends up with three or four sets each? Luigi: Huh. Guido! There is a real Michael Schumacker Ferrari in my store. A real Ferrari! Punch me, Guido. Punch me in the face. This is the most glorious day of my life. Michael Schumacker​: Wow. Spero che il tuo amico si riprenda. Mi dicono che siete fantastici​. Sally: Uh..huh!. Hahaha. Just passin’ through? McQueen: Actually, I thought I’d stop and stay awhile. I hear this place is back on the map. Sally: It is? McQueen: Yeah, there’s some rumor floating around that some hotshot Piston Cup racecar is setting up his big racing headquarte​rs here. Sally: Really? Well, there goes the town. McQueen: You know, I really missed you, Sally. Sally: Well, I create feelings in others they themselves don’t understand and, blah, blah, blah, blah. McQueen: Hahaha. Mater: McQueen and Sally parked beneath the tree, K-i-s-s…​i-n-t! McQueen: Great timing, Mater! Mater: Hep-non, hip-hep, hi-li-lill​y! Weeeee!! McQueen: He’s my best friend. What’re you gonna do? Sally: So, Stickers, last one to Flo’s buys? McQueen: I don’t know. Why don’t we just take a drive? Sally: Mmm. Nahh. McQueen: Yeah! Ka-chow! Mater: Yeeeehoooo​!!!!! Song -X-X-X THE END X-X-X

HELLO YES AN WELCOME ALL TO YEEN’S PHANTASMIC MARCH OF THE HUSBANDS

WAT QUALITY WARES AWAIT!

HERE IS HOW TO PLAY!

NAME A HUSBANDO AN NUMBER UPON ABS. THEN YOU MUST GUESS WHAT LIES IN PACK!! HAVE ONE GUESS. CAN BE COMMON, UNCOMMON, OR RARE N MYTHIC!!

THEN IN FEW DAYS YEEN WILL OPEN PACKS. IF MADE A CORRECT GUESS YEEN WILL SEND YOU THE WARE!! WOW!! INVENTIONS INCLUDE!!

REBOLGS AN REPLIES ONLY COUNT. MESSAGES TO YEEN AN TAGGED POSTS WILL NOT. IF TIE THERE WILL BE

TIEBREAKER!!!

GUD OF LUCK PATRONS!!