Overall thoughts on the finale: part 2
Me being dragged through the last half of this episode:
Do you ever just want to take back 41 minutes of your life?
- Lmao why did Peter do that little half-jog to
run over and push Malia towards Lydia? Like?? Why couldn’t she move on her own,
it’s just her arm that’s hurt? No reason she should be immobile? And I know she pushed Lydia out of the way, but in
the last shot, Lydia was still right next to her? And what was the point, even?
Like Lydia can do shit to protect her?
- And Peter just roundhouse kicked a ghost riders
and now suddenly it does have a corporeal form. What the fuck.
- Did he just put a ghost rider into a headlock?
- And now he’s yelling for Malia to go. Jesus
fucking Christ. And only after that do Malia and Lydia think to move? K haha.
- Who fucking choreographed this scene? I want a name.
- And now Malia is hesitating. Because of fucking
course she is. You’ll never get me to buy into the daddy/daughter bond, Teen
Wolf, these two don’t even fucking know each other.
- Oh, great, we get this shot again:
Twice in one episode. That makes how many times this season? Are we supposed to be impressed with Shelley’s weird whine/grunt coupled with Facial Expression #2 of 2?
- And Lydia kept running. Ah, so this was all a
ploy to set stydia up and get Malia out of the way. Go figure.
- And Lydia definitely just sensed something. I’m
gonna need some hard rules on how this banshee thing is supposed to work
because they literally just make up her abilities as they go and they change it like every other episode.
- And now Scott is trapped between the ghost
riders. So he can’t be with Stiles. Boy, they’ve had to go some lengths to
separate the characters just so Stiles and Lydia can be alone. You’d think they
would realize that if you have to force a moment so hard, maybe it doesn’t fit,
but apparently not…
- Posey has some real wild arm movements when he runs
haha. That right arm looked like it was trying to fly off his body just to escape this scene. I don’t blame it.
- Man, they don’t even try to be subtle with shoving
Mason into Stiles’ role haha.
- Y’know, I’d rather be watching
the forced stydia and the utter lack of romantic chemistry between Holland and Dylan than watching any of these three
- Oh my god:
What the fuck are you even doing, Teen Wolf?
- Why does Stiles keep ending up in the locker room? Like, I get that they’re being spit out other places, but why does he keep ending up in the same one? Unless he’s just trying to use the same door over and over again like a moron, this doesn’t make sense. And I cannot be the only one thinking of that episode of Spongebob where they keep trying to jump off the Dutchman’s ship and it doesn’t work?
How do we always end up here?
- …did…did he just walk into the barrel of that
- And Lydia magically saves him.
And if she has this power, why not whip it out, say, 2 minutes ago when her, Malia, and Peter were being attacked?
- These effects:
- Holland is always doing this thing with her lip:
And it just
fucking bothers me.
- Here come the stydia.
- “LYDIA: I didn’t say it back.”
- Well, that happened a lot quicker than I anticipated haha. There wasn’t even any build-up to that kiss? They just automatically slammed their faces together and I can’t stop laughing
- I feel ya:
- I cannot be the only one finding this scene uncomfortable. The lack of romantic chemistry is actually making this physically hard to watch.
- How am I supposed to even focus on this kiss and not the fact that Stiles just straight up tried to
die like 15 seconds ago??????? Like what is up with teen wolf and terrible romantic timing???? First
kiss: Lydia stops his panic attack. Second kiss: she saves him from literally WALKING INTO A GUN?????
- This part was cute, though:
- I am laughing so fucking hard at this Chris/Melissa scene. Chris tells her to get back, he barely touches her
and she just
lmao where’d she go
- Did he just shoot the ghost rider with his own
- I suppose it was only a matter of time before this season involved a full-on duel:
complete with spur sounds, music, and twitchy trigger fingers and everything. Teen Wolf, you really don’t do shit by halves do you haha
I mean, I knew it was coming because it’s not like Teen Wolf was at all subtle in the way they forced these two together this season, but yo…no. This is weird, isn’t it? I’m not the only one who thinks this is weird? Like her son was in love with his daughter? His dead daughter? Has Allison even been mentioned this season?
- “CHRIS: What was the for?” “MELISSA: That was so hot.”
I feel like I’m watching my parents make-out.
- “SCOTT: Step back from the diverter - or I’ll make you
step back.” How did Posey say that with a straight fucking face
- “NAZI: Now that’s a German way of doing things.” Who wrote that haha.
- “NAZI: You would have made an excellent nazi youth.”
How to Destroy Your Main Character in 10 Words or Less: A Lesson Brought to you by Teen Wolf
- I had to pause the fucking episode. I can’t believe they actually said that.
- Wow, I feel like we haven’t seen Scott shift
fully in a long time. When was the last time?
- If there are so many ghost riders, why was there always only 1 to 3 when they did something important? Like every time they went up against the pack, suddenly only a couple of them existed?
- Oh my god, so now Stiles is hearing his mom’s voice?
Teen Wolf really does love their fanfiction, huh? I swear they just went on ao3, found the most prevalent tropes, and attempted to cram them all into ten episodes.
- Oh, they’re actually showing Claudia. Why? Gotta show off
that A+ casting haha?
- What the fuck?
They really can’t leave well enough alone, can they?
- Bro, the acting level between these four…
- So, wait, Corey is cognizant enough to tell them to save everyone, but seemed totally mindless while on the PA sytem?
- “NAZI: Unbelievable. Even in the face of insurmountable odds. I don’t know if it’s suicide or stupidity.” “SCOTT: Maybe both.” Is this episode going to end with a sciles suicide pact? What is happening
- “NAZI: You of all people, Scott, should know what happens to a lone wolf.” And a wild Theo appears
- I have so many questions:
- Is this really the time for Theo’s redemption arc? Really?
- How did Theo find him? Did he see him at the school and follow him? Like, was he just hanging out on that balcony this whole time, waiting for Scott to stroll on by lmao?
- How long was Theo there before he piped up? Was he just hiding behind a tree whispering to himself like, ‘not yet, Theo, not yet. You need to wait for the appropriate dramatic moment to jump in here. Wait for it…wait for it…lone wolf?…THUNDERCATS GO!”
- Lone wolf? That term has never meant a wolf that happens to be alone, it meant a wolf without a pack and that’s not Scott.
- How would Scott know what happens to lone wolves? I mean, he saw one get bisected early on in the series, but he was never an omega? He was never really close with omegas? Unless they’re taking about his semi-packless state in part of 5a?
- Even if we consider that brief time in 5a as some huge less in being a lone wolf, how would lion nazi fuck know anything about this?
- Nazi knows the rest of the pack, doesn’t he? Like, he knows Corey, Hayden, Mason, and Liam at the very least? He presumably knows they are Scott’s pack?
- “MALIA: And Theo’s not in it. But I am.”
She is forever showing up just when I don’t think a scene can possibly get any dumber.
And, again, I have so many problems with this:
- If I didn’t understand how Theo found Scott, I really don’t understand how Malia did?
- Is this implying she defeated the ghost riders in the library? How? Why is she alone stronger than like an entire pack?
- Shelley really doesn’t understand inflection, does she? I have never heard a line delivered in such a deadpanned manner when it….wasn’t supposed to be…And why does she literally have 1 facial expression? Looks like we’re playing ‘Guess That Emotion’ round #374894 with her.
- Can Scott never get a moment to shine that isn’t handed over to fucking ?alia? He’s the goddamn alpha, why do they always make him useless just to boost her up? Like it is the last season, let the titular character have a fucking moment to himself and stop forcing her mary sue ass in everywhere? Why are they still trying so hard to make her special? Unless they’re angling for a spin-off or they’re writing him off the show and keeping her around.
- Most importantly, where the fuck did she get this hideous coat and how the fuck did she have the time?
The only way this scene could get worse is if Peter shows up.
- “PETER: I’m not in the pack, but no one likes a nazi.” How
in the everloving fuck is that a line that made it onto the screen
- “NAZI: There are too many of us and too few of you.”
Please, do not bring the rest of the pack into this fight scene. I cannot
- What is this show doing:
Having Stiles have to pry Lydia from his undead not-mother’s chokehold? What the fuck? And I love that this show is so hellbent of forcing stydia that even a moment with such potential for drama and Stilinski family angst gets reduced to utter ridiculousness.
- Every fucking time I convince myself that this show cannot possibly make Malia any fucking worse than she already is, they go and pull this shit:
- Oh and way to halt this scene for a glamour shot of Shelley
- How is this episode still fucking going? I feel like I’ve been watching it hours.
- Oh my good fucking god:
this little shift in the tracks might be the most anticlimactic thing this show has ever done.
- And…like…where is the train going? 40 miles
east? Did they just fuck the next town over? Are they even gonna touch on this?
- “MALIA: You missed your train.”
- How long has Claudia been choking him haha? How is he still alive?
- Ah sheriff did show up! Maybe we will actually be getting a touching family moment.
- …nope. Lydia saves the
day instead. Because god fucking forbid this one moment is not about stydia.
- Also, Lydia’s “fire again” comment?
What the fuck was up with Holland’s delivery?
- And the whole building starts shaking and sheriff just puts his arm around Lydia. Never mind his kid that’s four feet away.
- Bruh, I don’t even speak german and I know this
dude’s fucking it up haha.
- All right:
That was even dumber than I thought it was going to be.
- Literally me as I watch watch each passing scene:
- Yep, me too lmao:
- And time for another segment of ‘Mason is suddenly a genius
because we could no longer afford Dylan O’Brien’
- I think what drives me so crazy about this is
that Stiles was always treated like an idiot or like he was crazy or paranoid,
but Mason is the exact same way (except how he acquired any of the knowledge is never explained and completely illogical, but whatever) and he’s
actually getting recognized as smart? Like he’s actually getting the credit and respect that you would have thought Stiles would have received by this point but never did?
- I was wandering when the Toyota ad would happen:
And it’s a 3-in-1 this time. Oh boy.
Sometimes little things just make me really hate this show.
- Uh-oh we just hit the 5-minute countdown mark.
- “Have a great summer, everyone.” How the fuck is
it summer? Did a time-jump just happen without being acknowledged? Did they fuck up their timeline again? Have the writers been out of high school for so many years that they don’t realize a semester isn’t only 3 months long?
- Oh my good motherfucking god:
This outfit is a fucking mess:
- She already wore that damn shirt this season. Only 6 episodes ago. You really can’t afford another shirt, Teen Wolf?
- I really want the name of the person over there in the wardrobe department who is singlehandedly trying to bring back denim jackets and vests. Let it die.
- If I ever see those ugly-ass camouflage distressed American flag shorts again, it will be much too soon. Why does she live in these? How many times have we seen them just this season? If you’re going to insist on putting her in these ridiculous shorts, maybe invest in a few more pairs?
- If it’s cold enough to be layering two jackets, why the fuck is she in those tiny shorts?
- Why is that denim jacket sleeve rolled up to reveal that striped hoodie sleeve? What kind of look is that?
- And these colors? Pinkish shirt under red striped hoodie under denim vest over green camouflage shorts with black boots? @whoever made this choice:
I mean, this is quite possibly her worst look yet and that is really saying something considering there has been no end of terrible looks for her.
- And Teen Wolf, don’t you dare for one second fucking think that you got away with giving Malia another one of Stiles’ jackets:
- One more question: who in the fuck thought Shelley sitting like this:
was okay? I mean, if the goal of this scene was to get a vulgar crotch-shot that made her thighs like huge and gave her a cameltoe, then mission success.
- “STILES: It feels so anticlimactic.” – Could not have phrased it better myself, Teen Wolf.
- “MALIA: I’ve gotta go to summer school or I can’t do the whole graduation thing.”
They couldn’t just leave her ass out of this one fucking scene?
- And good luck to those fuckers watching 6b
because y’all know that’s how they’re keeping her ass around lmao
- Those shorts are so not dresscode:
And she so has a wedgie in this scene lmao.
- Yeah, buddy, me too:
Me. Fucking. Too.
- “SCOTT: It kinda feels like nothing really changed.” Except now:
Way to stay completely noncommittal right to the bitter end, Teen Wolf.
- I almost feel bad for the shippers who legitimately thought they were going to get some magical stydia ending, but:
- And time for the official passing of the torch scene (take number like 5 because I swear to fucking god they’ve been doing a version of this every goddamn finale since season 4).
- “STILES: The most important thing you can remember is that Mason is always gonna be the one who’s there to save your ass all the time.”
will never understand why Teen Wolf seems to think it’s a good thing that Liam
and Mason are literally ripoffs of Scott and Stiles? Like? Why are they proud of the fact that they are incapable of creating unique characters so they have to settle for shitty carbon copies of the original characters?
- And he gave Mason his bat.
- Did…did Stiles just fucking give Roscoe to Scott?
- DC? What the fuck is in DC?
- And Lydia is starting MIT as a junior…Teen Wolf, that might have made sense before you repeatedly SHOVED HER ASS INTO THE SAME MATH CLASS AS MALIA STOPPED-GOING-TOO-SCHOOL-IN-THE-FOURTH-FUCKING-GRADE TATE
- And Scott’s going to UC Davis. How close is that to Beacon Hills?
- Is 6b going to take place over the summer? So, Scott, Malia, Lydia, and the 2.0s are around? Because why would Stiles be the only one who had to leave right when the school year ends? Or is it going to be during the school year and Lydia and Scott are still inexplicably there but Stiles isn’t?
- FBI? Stiles is going fed? And I like how McCall wasn’t mentioned for like 3 seasons just to randomly be brought up now as if this makes any sort of sense.
- I get that this is supposed to be some emotional moment where Stiles gives the jeep to Scott, but I am just confused:
- Isn’t he still gonna need a car in college?
- Lydia’s the one driving him? How about his fucking father? Or his best friend? Nope, gotta keep the vague and noncommittal stydia bullshit up to the last second.
- It doesn’t seem in character for him to give this away and it’s obvious they’re only doing it as an excuse to have the damn thing in 6b so it’s kinda just pissing me off.
- I feel like Stiles has already given so much to Scott. We’ve already seen Stiles sacrifice a lot and this moment would have been more powerful if Scott was the one doing the giving this time around.
- And if Stiles drives off in a Toyota, I swear to fucking god…
- I know this key bit is supposed to be funny, but again I’m too distracted to laugh:
- A key to Scott’s house? Yeah, that one is a nice call back. I’ll give them that one.
- The key to Scott’s room? Why does Scott have a lock that take a key on his door? Also, no he doesn’t. He does, though, inexplicably have a slidelock as of season 5.
- The master key to the school? As if this school isn’t perpetually unlocked haha? And we’ve really only seen them have to unlock anything in the school like once and it was when Stiles unlocked them chem room during 3b and realized he put the hit out on Kira. And it was this whole big plot about him not knowing where the key came from? Remember that, Teen Wolf?
- And key to sheriff station? They used cards, not physical keys. Again, that was a pretty important part of an episode in 3b.
- Lastly, if Scott is leaving too, why is he the one being given the keys?
- “STILES: I need you. You know that.” “SCOTT: I need you too.”
My sciles heart is a sucker for this shit, but there have been a lot of times now where Stiles has expressed this sort of sentiment to Scott. We got that whole speech in 3x06 about Stiles needing Scott. It might have been nice to see the roles reversed this time? Why can’t Scott ever be the emotional instigator?
- “RADIO: You’re telling me there’s a body in the woods?” Okay, fine, that’s actually funny. It’s entirely too coincidental, but I’ll let it slide because I like it haha
- …that’s it? No send off with the sheriff? We got a fucking scene of Stiles weirdly telling the new fucks he loves them, but NOTHING WITH HIS OWN GODDAMN FATHER?
- I just…is that seriously how they’re ending this?
- wait..wait a second..
WHO THE FUCK IS IN THE BACK OF THE JEEP:
GODDAMN IT, TEEN WOLF:
Did Jeff Davis need a cameo that badly?