Hi guys! wow, it’s been way over a month since i have posted a story??? this one i have to admit has been 75% written since early june, so i didn’t have to do THAT much. but i hope it encourages me to continue to write more! i have to admit i feel more like writing when shows are not in hiatus, or when they are on a short break. reading that antonio will be back on PD inspired me to get back to writing some though, as i ended up finishing this!!! it’s a follow up to my story “green bean casserole” i don’t own anything and i hope you all enjoy! hopefully it won’t be another month before i post another fic!
Right after the door shut behind Nagel, leaving Sylvie and Antonio alone, he turned towards her, a frown on his face. He had to know what she wanted to talk about.
Gabby’s words, even though they were said in a drunken state, remained in her mind. Was her getting back with Antonio the wrong decision? For them as a couple they had thought of multiple positive reasons for reconciliation. Matt and Mouch’s deaths only proved that life was too short and risks had to be taken. Not only that, but being able to rely on each other while helping Gabby was the only thing preventing Sylvie from having a breakdown.
He rose his eyebrows, a wordless question directed towards her. He was wondering if she was going to start speaking, break the ice. When she opened her mouth, nothing came out. Her throat was dry and her voice would most certainly crack if she could form words. That wasn’t the reason she wasn’t vocalizing what she was thinking. There was simply too much on her mind that she didn’t know where to start.
Antonio decided to end the silence, to her dismay and relief. The anticipation was killing her, but she was also worried about confronting the subject.
“She didn’t mean it, Sylvie.”
“Probably not the I’m a whore part,” He flinched when she brought reference to the derogatory word that was thrown by Gabby. “And how she presented herself, with the other harsh words….but the entire point? Yeah. I think so.”
“She was drunk—”
“I don’t care if she was drunk or not, Antonio.” She interrupted him, his different viewpoint motivating her to find her words. They needed to get on the same page. “Either way, you can’t disagree that our relationship has had an affect on her.”
When he didn’t respond, she knew he was agreeing. A part of her wished hat he would continue to fight back, to make their choice to get back together seem less like a bad decision. After all, hurting Gabby was the last thing either of them wanted.
“So what are you implying?” Picking up on her distress, he took a few steps forward. When she lowered her eyes guiltily, he was able to find out the answer himself. He groaned, the sudden sound making Sylvie lift her head up with surprise. “You can’t be serious.”
Her stomach twisted as the realization clearly dawned in him. Swallowing the salvia her mouth was beginning to collect, she began to speak. The few moments were enough for her to put effort into not letting her voice wobble. This wasn’t about them. That was their mistake, in their grief and exhaustion, they let themselves get drawn back into each other.
“This isn’t about us, Antonio—” In order for them to get themselves through this, another misfortune, they had to put their focus again on Gabby.
“No, Sylvie.” Antonio shook his head, taking another determined step closer. There was only a foot in between them now. Stepping back wasn’t an option, for some reason she had positioned herself against the back of the couch. It was nice to have her hands grasping on to something, keeping her centered, but the furniture was an unfortunate barrier to her ability to keep her distance.
“We’ve been selfish—” A sob was crawling up her throat, trying to come out. Instead her voice wobbled and cracked, making her stop to try to regain control of her emotions.
“We don’t need to make any decision right now.” He reached forward to gently remove her grip from the couch, an action she willingly let happen. Despite her originally wanting to extend their distance, a sense of relief and comfort went through her body as his familiar touch took hold of her hands. “We have been putting Gabby first, yes?” He asked softly, his thumbs making small, circular motions on her skin. She focused on the calm movement, letting it help ground herself. Just a few seconds made a difference, that she was able to give him a calm nod back.
This was not a usual occurrence, him being the rational one and her letting her emotions get the best of her. With Antonio being a Dawson, his emotions were always a strong force of his behavior. Maybe he was trying extra hard to control himself because of her unraveling, she didn’t know. Despite this, she was grateful.
“We never leave her alone, you have everyone’s times scheduled in your phone, for Christ sake.” Antonio kept direct eye contact with her, his eyes bright and determined, with sadness hiding behind. It seemed that particular emotion was following them around constantly. To both of their defense, they were always around a grieving widow. They also couldn’t ignore the fact that they were grieving as well. “Anytime we are with her, we make sure to be as platonic as possible, focusing on her—”
Sylvie removed one of her hands from his grasp, lifting it up to place a single finger over his lips. Whatever he was planning on saying next was left unsaid, his eyes now becoming questioning, widening slightly as his eyebrows lifted up. “You’re right.” She conceded, giving up her argument. After Gabby’s eruption on her, guilt took over her mind. Logic was nowhere in sight as she thought the only way to solve her friend’s pain was to break up with Antonio. He made her see that that wasn’t the answer. “We should talk to her in the morning, though.” She added, not wanting to shove Gabby’s thoughts and feelings to the side. Just because she was intoxicated didn’t mean that their relationship could have had negative affects on her.
Antonio nodded in agreement, lifting his hand forward to interlock his fingers with hers that she had dropped to her side moments before. “That’s a good idea.” He voiced aloud. His next request was shown by his actions before his words, when he began to gently tug Sylvie by her arm towards the bedroom. “I think you finally admitting I was right is a sign that we should go to bed.” He said, not stopping his slow, lucid steps backward to hear her response.
“Cocky, aren’t you.” She mumbled with a roll of her eyes. But she couldn’t disagree with him, as yet again, he was right.
“Honesty is crucial to a relationship, that’s all.” He quipped. If Sylvie didn’t get a look at his eyes earlier, she would have thought that he wasn’t tired. However behind his quick wit, was an exhausted man.
“Mhm.” She made a noise of agreement, raising a cheeky eyebrow when they reached his bed and he met her eyes as he briefly looked over his shoulder towards her. “I think I’ll let your egotistical comments slide because I’m too exhausted to come up with a reply.”
Though they were next to his side of the bed, Antonio pulled her down on top of him, much to her surprise. Before she could complain about her uncomfortable position—his knee was digging into her ribcage—he gently rolled her over onto the mattress. As she got herself situated, he reached towards to the end of the bed to grab the bunched up comforter.
Sylvie couldn’t hold back a sigh of contentment as the cool comforter covered her body. A small opening was letting through cold air as Antonio slipped off his shirt, but her body begun to warm up as he readjusted himself underneath the covers.
She was pulled close against his warm chest, which confused her as her body was still cold, something she would point out if she wasn’t so tired. His breath, that hit her skin just as warm as his body, whispered out a vulnerable question.
“You don’t regret this, do you?”
In her sleepy state, she didn’t comprehend his question immediately. “What do you mean?” She yawned, trying to refocus her hazy vision on her boyfriend’s face.
“Getting back together.” He explained. His forehead was scrunched up, and eyes shifting side to side, unable to hold eye contact with her. That was the biggest sign of his uncomfortableness. His job had him interrogating multiple people daily. He has never had trouble with maintaining it.
Frowning, she reached up to cup his cheek. “Never.” She vowed, wanting to make all his insecurities disappear. “What I was trying to do earlier, making us break up…..wasn’t at all because I wanted to. I am worried about Gabby.” She explained, beginning to rub her thumb up and down his jaw line.
“You’re the only thing keeping me sane, you know that?” He lifted her hand from his cheek to interlock their fingers together. “Seeing my sister is so much pain is excruciating. It makes it harder that I’m the only one she is letting herself be around. You included.”
“I know us being happy and Gabby still grieving is making us feel guilty, but I believe that this,” He gestures to them both, “is a good thing. It’s helping us, which then is a positive influence on us helping Gabby.”
She didn’t know how to word her appreciation accurately. A kiss seemed like the perfect answer as she cupped both of her hands around his cheek to press her lips softly against his own. She was tempted to elongate the kiss—his lips felt more pleasurable than usual against hers—but the yawn that escaped her mouth ended the romantic moment.
Though she knew he wouldn’t be bothered, her face couldn’t help but flush and turn bright red. Due to the streetlight outside the window, light was shining through the curtains, making Antonio able to see her face. It seemed like it would be impossible, but her face became even darker when he let out a soft chuckle.
“I won’t force you to stay awake any longer.” He assured her, putting his lips briefly against her forehead. She closed her eyes automatically at the soothing action. It was what he did right before they went to sleep, and was such an Antonio thing. His first instinct was always to care for and protect those he loved. She didn’t realize how much she actually missed the simple action during their break up until they got back together.
After she readjusted herself, head tucked into his chest and her left arm thrown over his side, it wasn’t long until sleep took over and she was unconscious. Everything else could wait till morning.