i think i’m pretty proud of this one, and i hope you guys feel the same as well. i stayed up till 10 am writing this and now i can go to sleep in peace. Enjoy my lovely jimin stans, i feel for you poor bitches
Pairing: Jimin x reader Genre: fluff, smut, angst( just a teeny tiny bit i guess) Word count: 8,760
When your best friend of years confessed his love to you in a spur of the moment kind of thing, you had no idea how to react.
Those words that caused you to stare at him for almost a minute straight as your what felt like a million thoughts ran through your head. You were trying to process it. You two were laying in his bed, both on your sides and facing each other, talking quietly amongst yourselves.
His hand would raise every few minutes, tracing some part of your arm or pushing a strand of hair back. You would giggle a bit when his legs moved to tangle with yours, his toes intentionally seeking out your feet to tickle you, and you would smack his chest and tell him to stop.
Then you became quiet, and you thought that he was getting sleepy when he kept closing his eyes every few seconds. But there was something a bit off, his lips barely parting in what seemed as an attempt to say something, but then he would shut his mouth again and sigh softly. The smile that was on his face earlier was now gone, and a small furrow on his brow was beginning to grow. So you lifted your hand and cupped his cheek softly for him to open his eyes and look at you, and when he did, some of the worry in his eyes went away and he sent a small smile. It wasn’t completely genuine though, you’d know that.
“What is it?”
“What?” He feigned confusion, and you nearly chuckled at his attempt to hide whatever it was he was trying to say.
“You’re a shitty liar Jimin, I thought we’ve established that a long time ago.” You smacked his cheek softly and he chuckled this time. Then, again, his face became bare of that smile and he sighed, gulping nervously.
“I’m not gonna force it out of you if you don’t wanna talk about it right now,” you sent him a comforting smile. “But you know you don’t need to keep anything from me.”
It was quiet. Not a sound was heard in the room. And then he spoke.
“It’s just - God, it’s getting harder for me everyday,” his voice was strained, as if he were in pain. And what you didn’t know was that he actually was in pain, the worst kind actually. The one that you can’t really do anything about.
A frown took over your face as concern started to seep through your veins at seeing the guy you loved and cared for so dearly slowly revealing what was making him so upset. And, god , you felt terrible for not noticing it before. How could he hide something that’s been bothering him for a long time without you noticing, while he could find out what was upsetting you before you even did?
“Talk to me,” you urged. He suddenly sat up in bed, his back now to you, and you felt your heart break at the slump in his shoulders with his head now in his hands, clearly showing you that this seemed pretty serious. You sat up as well, your hand resting on his shoulder and squeezing softly to reassure him.
“I’m in love with you, __.”
It was so quiet in the room you could hear a pin drop, and you partly held your breath in fear of it being too loud. You were motionless, your hand frozen on his shoulder in pure shock. Then it hit you.
Park Jimin just confessed to you.
The guy you never thought of as more than the closest of friend, who’d been there with you for years. He was with you through it all, the ups and downs. God, you had many, many downs, but he never showed the slightest hint of being tired with you and your shit.
He was there for you when you had your first high school heartbreak. After your crush had shown interest in your and slowly started getting closer to you, he finally dropped the bomb and asked you out. You were thrilled, fucking ecstatic. But after one date, and one date only, a few days later, you managed to find out that he had only done it as a bet. You ran to Jimin, holding back sobs of sadness and anger and frustration all mixed in one, spilling everything in a matter of seconds. He was seething with anger, but he put that anger aside for the time being to hold you in his arms and whisper soothing words in your ear, squeezing you so tightly onto his chest all the while holding you gently as if you were the frailest of beings.
He was there when your parents were against you wanting to study a different major in college than the one they wanted for you. You had a huge fight with them and ran out of the house, quickly texting Jimin to meet you in your usual spot at the park, and he was there before you were. He let your rant away in anger, frustrated tears running down your cheeks at your parents’ way of thinking. When you were done talking, he wiped away your tears and cupped your cheeks. We’ll figure it out, he said to you, before he brought your face closer to press a kiss to your forehead and hugged you for an hour straight, right there in the middle of the park.
And then when one of your girlfriends who you’d been friends with for years, her name was Jess, turned out to be the definition of the word backstabber. You didn’t find out until you saw a conversation on her phone between her and a guy you’d mentioned to her before, who you thought you liked. Despite the obvious flirting that you might’ve let slide without too big of a problem, it was filled with demeaning lies she was telling him about you, some about you being a whore who slept with anything with two legs, some about you cheating on your ex-boyfriends, some about you being a mean bitch. And, as usual, you went to Jimin, and he was there with open arms and a shoulder waiting for you to use.
He was there when you got your first job because college payments were starting to weigh down on you. It was only a simple, part-time job but you were still thrilled with it, happy to be making your own pay, even if it was only minimum for the time being. You called him immediately, squealing over the phone that you got the job, and he chuckled softly before congratulating you. “I’ll take you out tonight to celebrate then.”
The list went on and on and it would never stop if you had to list off every single thing you two had been through together. But at the moment, you had no idea what to do, what to say, what to feel. You felt the pressure slowly weighing down on your heart because you truly didn’t know how to handle this. However, you couldn’t say it back, not now, not so carelessly when you knew you were even 50% sure it was true. You loved him too much to be so unfair to him and lie to him that way.
“I..” Your voice trailed off, and you winced at even opening your stupid mouth before you put together a decent sentence in your frazzled mind.
He turned to you anyways, a small smile on his lips, and it was so sad you literally felt as if your heart was being wrenched and squeezed to cause you pain. He lifted his hand and grabbed yours that was on his shoulder, enveloping it in both of his. He looked down at your joined hands for a few seconds, and you did so as well, feeling some of the pain you felt just seconds ago decrease at the comfort this simple act brought, and then he looked up at you again.
“It’s fine, __,” he said. “You don’t have to say it back, I don’t expect you to say anything like that unless you mean it. Take your time, clear your head and think about this as long as you need.”
“I just need to ask you for one favor.”
“Anything you want.” Your voice was as soft as ever.
“In the mean time, don’t treat me any differently. Don’t treat me like the guy who just confessed his love for you, treat me as your best friend, yeah?”
You couldn’t help the smile that slowly overtook your lips, and he smiled as well, this one seeming more genuine than the last.
“Of course, Jimin.”
After that night, you tried not to show it, but everything became as clear as daylight to you. You noticed every little thing you managed to be so blind to before, and you felt like you could throw yourself off a cliff at being so stupidly oblivious all those years. All the simple things you thought Jimin only did out of pure niceness or just simply for the fact that you were his best friend, weren’t that simple.
Like when you first broke your phone and he took about half the money he’d been saving up for the last year to buy you a new one. Or when, in your first year in uni, managed to fix both your schedules so that you had about 90% of your classes together, only managing to miss a few. Or when you found out he’d asked his brother to pitch and help him with some money on your birthday because he knew you’d had your eye on that one necklace you showed him once when you were walking around downtown. Or when he made a copy of his apartment keys especially made for you, with your own key chain as well that had both your initials carved into it, even when you knew he loved his privacy and it was one of his top priorities. Or when he spent a whole week at your house when you had a simple cold, adamant to spend a whole week to make sure you were okay even though you’d started feeling better after only three days.
And now you noticed those loving looks and smile he kept reserved only for you, the ones you used to think he gave to everyone because he was just that much of a sweetheart. The hugs he gave you, and the kisses he planted to your head.
You were still confused and your mind was a mess, but you tried to make him feel like nothing was wrong and that you were taking it well. And you really were trying, you were thinking about it. Not a second passed by without you thinking about it, trying to decipher how exactly you felt about.
You just needed some time, and as long as Jimin was more than willing to offer that to you for as long as you liked, you were going to take it.
“You’re coming tonight right?” He asked through the phone.
“Yeah, of course. I wouldn’t miss his birthday for anything.” It was Jin’s birthday, and the guys along with a lot of other people are planning on celebrating it with him to the max tonight in one of your favorite bars that you usually gathered in.
“Great, I’ll pick you up then. Be ready at 9, yeah? Love you.”
And he hung up. Your eyes widened at that last statement, at the way he said it so naturally as if he was used to it. And as he sat there in his room, his phone now locked as he started at it with wide eyes, realizing the words he’d just let slip out of his mouth unintentionally. He was starting to panic on the inside, fear building up inside of him at the thought of you being annoyed or repulsed with those two simple words, but what he didn’t know was that you sat there, phone held in hand as well, similar to him, except there was a small smile spreading on your lips because it actually sounded so nice to hear those words from him come so casually and naturally.
Later that night, you were dressed in one of your favorite dresses. It was maroon colored. tight on your torso but flowed at the wait. It went down to mid-thigh and had an open back. You wore heels to top it off, and your hair was down with a bit of makeup. You didn’t know what to think of the fact that you wore this dress because Jimin had once said how much he liked it on you, and that it was his favorite color. Or that you let your hair down even after you’d earlier decided that you wanted it up, because you remembered Jimin saying he loved it when you had your hair down, natural and without a thing done to it. And that you cut down on your makeup because he loved the way you looked with minimal makeup. He said he appreciated the small effort you put in while still being able to see some features that he didn’t like to be hidden under makeup.
And so when you saw him waiting for you in the car, his head down as he used his phone, probably playing that game he was currently hooked on, you felt your heart beat faster and your palms got slightly sweaty. But then it all went away when you got in the car and he looked up at you, his eyes almost disappearing at the wide smile he gave you, teeth on full show and cheeks squished up in the most adorable way,
“You look gorgeous.” It wasn’t the first time he’d complimented you that way, but it was the first time you felt your cheeks heat up slightly, but you couldn’t even bother to hide it.
“You look dashingly handsome as well,” you teased, and he chuckled as he tried to tone down the slight blush that was begging to show on his cheeks. And at that moment, you honestly couldn’t help but lean across the gear lever and smacked your lips against his cheek, giggling when you saw the smudge your lipstick left on his skin.
“W-what was that for?” He chuckled, but you didn’t miss the small stutter at the beginning of his sentence.
“Just felt like it,” you answered simply with a smile as you lifted a hand to wipe away the color from his cheek.
The smile he sent your way had your heart fluttering in a way it never did before.
“Happy birthday, Jinnie!” You pulled him into a bear hug and he squeezed back just as tightly. You pulled away and held him by the shoulders, smiling at him widely. “You’re one year older now, maybe this’ll make your lame dad jokes sound funnier now that you’re- ow! Okay, okay, I’m done.” You let him go with a laugh as he scowled at you playfully.
“Just take your friend away Jimin, I don’t need to hear this on my birthday.” He pushed you towards Jimin, and you stumbled and fell into his arms, grateful that he steadied you firmly. You turned to Jin and flipped him off, but Jimin kept his arms around you nonetheless.
“If I leave, my present’s going with me so..” You turned to Jimin once again and wrapped your arm around his to pull him elsewhere, looking for empty seats so you could settle down. You pretended you didn’t almost hear your heartbeat in your ears because your arm was wrapped tightly around his, and you could feel his muscles beneath the material of his shirt.
The tables were filled with people whom you know, and some you didn’t. You greeted all of them nonetheless, letting go of Jimin to give a few hugs around, and then you felt his arm around your waist instead.
You settled down next to each other, both of your seats unconsciously turning towards each other as you engaged in a conversation about who would wear something flashier tonight, Taehyung or Namjoon, each of you betting on one. The bet ended in laughter as soon as the pair showed up, with you winning because of Taehyung, tears of laughter gathering at the corners of your eyes, Jimin leaning his forehead against your shoulder in an attempt to hide his laughter as some of the eyes around you turned to you with amused looks.
“Fine, I’ll get the drinks, you earned it.” he sighed with a smile and stood up, and you nodded triumphantly. You watched as he talked to the bar, raising his hand to grab the attention of the bar tender. However, out of the corner of your eye, you saw someone get up, and when you looked their way, it was a girl. A very pretty one at that.
She was sat with a few of your friends, but her face wasn’t very familiar to you. That wasn’t your concern at the moment. Your concern was that you saw the look in her eyes, and it was fixed on Jimin. Her walk was determined as she made her way to the bar, and you suddenly felt queasy. The smile that was once on your lips was slowly fading away the more you took in her appearance. She looked damn near perfect. Hair long and wavy, a shine to it that made yours look dull. She had on a skin tight dress that showed off her gorgeous figure, and her legs seemed so long and toned in the heels she was wearing. Not only did she have the body, but her face was really cute as well.
The more you analyzed this girl who has now reached Jimin and tapped him on the shoulder shyly, the more you slumped in your seat and uneasy feeling in your stomach seemed to grow.
“You look like you want to jump off a cliff,” a voice suddenly sounded in your ear and you jumped in surprise. You looked to your left to see Jungkook next to you, smiling at you with a knowing look on his face. You quickly put a smile on your face and shook your head with a laugh.
“And why would I want to do that?” You teased, leaning back in your seat.
“Are you really trying to bullshit me right now?”
“Jungkook, what the hell are you-”
“You know,” he cut you off and leaned towards your seat to say something that only you would hear, and you felt your heart speed up for what had to be the third time so far this night at his words. “He only has eyes for you, so don’t stress it too much.”
“What’re you talking about?” You tried to steady your voice and sound as confused as you could, but you had a feeling you knew what.
“You know what I’m talking about,” he repeated your thoughts aloud. You couldn’t handle looking at him anymore, knowing he had you figured out, and turned your gaze to the bar once again. Though you wish you hadn’t because the sight made you rage with jealousy. Yes, jealousy, that’s what it was. JImin was still waiting for the drinks to arrive and the girl was standing too close to him than what you thought was necessary, giving him those heart eyes and swooning up at him with a flirty gaze. You could almost hear her obnoxious giggle in your head.
You were so blinded by your jealousy that you didn’t even see the uncomfortable look on Jimin’s face at the moment, clearly trying to weasel his way out of the conversation that didn’t seem to end.
“If you can’t see it, I’ll tell you that Jimin is more than not interested in her because it looks like he’s being tortured right now,” Jungkook said, and you could hear the smile in his voice. And true to his words, you finally looked up at Jimin’s face, only to see the uncomfortable expression he adorned, a smile so fake on his lips you almost laughed right then and there.
You heard yourself sigh in relief, and Jungkook chuckled beside you. “Your his best friend, aren’t you supposed to help him out of this?”
You looked to him to see if he was serious, and he raised his eyebrows at you with a smile, as if challenging you to do it. You took a deep breath, put your clutch aside and got up from your seat. You would’ve been deaf not to hear the ‘yes’ that Jungkook said as you made your way to Jimin, and you could almost imagine him fist-bumping the air.
“Babe,” you put on your ‘girlfriend’ voice, wrapping your arms around Jimin in a back-hug. He jumped slightly at the sudden contact, turning his head to look at you with a surprised look but you only smiled at him, hoping he got the message. “What’s taking you so long?”
His surprised look was suddenly replaced with a smile of his own, and he grabbed your hand to pull you next to him, wrapping his arm around your shoulder and placing a kiss to the top of your head. You felt like you could melt right fucking there. God, you never wanted to leave his arms. He smelled so good, and he literally radiated warmth, tempting you to cling onto him like a damn koala.
“Sorry, baby,” he said, and if it weren’t for you supporting yourself on him, your knees would’ve wobbled at the pet name. “The drinks are taking a while.”
The girl awkwardly cleared her throat, and you almost scoffed at the sight of her still there. But you managed to put on a fake smile when you turned to her, greeting her nicely despite her eyeing you up as if you were trying to steal her man.
“Hi,” you said cheerfully. “Who are you?”
Jimin snorted lowly, but it was enough to be heard, so he quickly tried to cover it up with a cough. He tightened his arm around you, and you took it a step further by stepping in front of him. He was sat on one of the stools, so he parted his legs for you and you leaned back into his chest as he wrapped both arms around your waist and rested his chin casually on your shoulder.
You could practically hear her seething.
“I’m Jane,” she answered curtly with a smile so fake you almost vomited. Her eyes turned to Jimin once again and what she said next surprised you. “Is this your girlfriend or something? My friend told me you two were just friends so..” She trailed off as if awaiting for some type of explanation.
You couldn’t help the scoff that left your lips, but then Jimin squeezed your waist to calm you down, knowing you had a low tolerance level for rude people. “I don’t really care what your friend told you, but just to clear everything up here. Yes, we’re dating, and I’d appreciate it if you’d stop ogling my boyfriend,” your smile was sickeningly sweet in contrast to your words. It felt nice to say those words. Dating. Boyfriend. Jimin. They all seemed to sound nice coming together.
She scoffed and with a barely audible ‘whatever’, she turned away and went to the restrooms. You felt relief when she disappeared from your sight, relaxing against Jimin’s chest. Then you felt his chest rumble and you knew he was chuckling.
“Thanks for that, she wouldn’t take a hint.” His words were followed with a kiss that was pressed to your cheek. You turned to him, and was pleased when his arms didn’t loosen their grip from your waist, looking up at him with a smile.
“It was my pleasure really,” you chuckled. “She seemed like a bitch anyways.”
The smile he gave you told you he knew. He knew everything. But he kept his word and stayed quiet, not pressing the subject further and giving you the time you needed. But somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew that it was working, and that you were starting to realize everything. He was willing to give you all the time in the world if it meant you would end up being his.
“Don’t get drunk, Jimin.”
“Don’t drink too much, Jimin.”
“Jimin, this is your fourth drink already.”
“I think you should cut down on the drinks, Jimin.”
Despite all your warnings throughout the night, he still ended up dunk. Drink after drink, he would promise it was his last one, but then he’d tilt his head and give you that look that made you think you were best friends with a damn puppy, and you would cave in. You thanked god that you had the self control to stop from consuming too much alcohol yourself, because if it wasn’t you that took care of drunk Jimin, then who would it be?
“I’m not drunk, __,” he whined, and you giggled when he attempted to rest his elbow on the table but only managed to slip and nearly bump his head on the wooden surface.
“Sure, sweetie, you’re not. But no more drinks for you anyways,” you tried to say as sternly as possible.
“Fine,” he huffed with a pout and rested his chin against his hand, gaze fixed on you. A lot of the people that were here had left since it was past 2 AM now, not more than ten people still sitting at the tables, most probably drunk as well, even Jin since he was the birthday boy.
Your eyes landed back on Jimin to see that he was still staring at you silently, and you shifted under his intense gaze.
“What’re you thinking about?” You asked quietly.
“You.” Your eyebrows raised.
“Me?” You leaned towards him and rested your head in the same position as his, now facing each other. “What about me, Jimin?”
“You’re gorgeous.” He blurted out, and you felt your face heat up. “You’re so, so gorgeous. I’ve thought so since we were kids, even in middle school when you got your braces,” he giggled and you smacked his arm but stayed quiet. “Even in high-school when you had that stupid hippie phase that lasted three months.” You groaned at that, but you couldn’t help but giggle as well. “Even when you’re crying and you feel like shit, you still manage to look so fucking beautiful. How is that possible?” You didn’t think you were supposed to reply to that, and he continued talking. “I know I said I’d give you as much time as you needed, and I’m still keeping that promise, but it’s honestly taking so much willpower for me not to kiss you right now..” His eyes were hazy as they stared at you, the look in his eyes holding so much love and want for you.
Your face was now beet red at his words, and you gulped nervously when you saw his eyes flicker down to your lips. But you couldn’t let this happen, not like this, when he was drunk and would most probably forget he even did it the following morning. So you smiled softly and got up from your seat, grabbing his arm to help him up.
“Let’s get you home, Jimin.”
When you were laying in bed one Friday night, scrolling through your Instagram feed, you really didn’t expect your thoughts to take a downhill turn he so quickly.
You saw a photo of Jimin. You smiled, double tapped and scrolled past it. But then after a few more photos, you quickly scrolled back up, looking at it for a few seconds before you clicked on his name. His account showed up on your screen, and that familiar warm feeling entered your tummy when you started to flick through his pictures, most of them being with you. Some were just downright silly with the ugliest faces, some with you two smiling like normal people, and some were of only you. Those photos were his favorites, he once said to you, because he took them without you noticing and you looked effortlessly beautiful. Which was frustrating and unfair, he’d add in the end with a laugh.
You paused on one photo in particular. It was an old one, years ago. You were on his back, gripping his shoulder and he was holding up your legs around his waist, and Jungkook had then managed to snap that photo seconds before the both of you went tumbling to the ground.
You loved this man so much it hurt. You weren’t hesitating it admitting to yourself that, yes, you felt the same way about him that he felt about you. But what ifs were starting to take their toll on you, and you knew you shouldn’t let that happen. You should just do what makes the both of you happy and end the wait, but then… what if?
What if you two broke up? What if it didn’t work out? What if, once you two started dating, he would quickly get tired after realizing you weren’t anything special? What if you two grew apart?
No. No. You couldn’t handle that, not ever. He was too important for you to lose. He was there with you your whole life and you weren’t about to make a mistake and even consider the idea of losing him along the way.
As much as you craved to tell him how you felt, to tell him everything, and have him wrap you in his arms and kiss you again and again, you couldn’t. You gulped down a heavy sigh, but the lump in your throat was stuck there as you felt tears pool up in your eyes.
You took your phone out, choosing that a text would be much easier to do this than over a phone call or in person.
i’ve thought about what you’ve told me a lot over the past few weeks.. you know i love you jimin, i love you to death, but i think it’s better if we stay friends. i’m sorry
Six days. Six days and he still hasn’t texted you, called you, seen you or made any type of contact. You didn’t know if you were angry or guilty, or maybe both at the same time.
You knew this would happen. You two weren’t even in a relationship and he wasn’t talking to you because you rejected his feelings. You couldn’t lie and say you expected this though, you were hurt to say the least. You didn’t think this would be enough to throw over a decade of friendship away, you thought you were more important to him and he loved you enough to try and move on.
But clearly you weren’t.
Currently on your living room couch, TV on but you weren’t really watching, lost in your thoughts as you thought about what you should do. Then the door of your apartment swung open and you jumped up from your couch, hand on your heart as you saw Jungkook march into the living room.
“What the fuck, Kook? You can’t just barge in like that, I could’ve -”
“What the hell did you tell, Jimin?” His voice wasn’t high but you could hear the anger in it. You froze in your spot, and the look he was giving you only made you shift your gaze to the ground for a few seconds before you looked back up.
“Did he tell you?” You asked.
“No, but I’m guessing it’s something really stupid considering the way he’s been acting the past few days,” he snapped.
“I’m trying to talk to him, but he won’t answer! I must’ve called a hundred times but he won’t even answer me,” you defended yourself. “I’m not gonna go and force him to talk to me, if he needs space for a little while, I’ll give it to him.”
“Oh yeah, well he sure is enjoying his space alright,” he sighed, uncrossing his arms and walked forward to sit down on the couch. He ran his hands down his face before he looked back up at you. “Do you know what he’s up to tonight?”
“I told you, Jungkook, he hasn’t been answering any of my calls. How the hell would I know?” You huffed, dropping down on the couch next to him. Then the words that left his lips hit you harder than a fucking truck.
“He’s going on a date.”
Your mouth dropped open and you looked at him in disbelief, trying to ignore the gut-wrenching feeling you suddenly felt, hoping what you just heard was just a figment of your sick imagination.
“Yeah, a date,” he confirmed. “He said it was too much for him and that he needed a distraction.”
“A distraction?” You said in disbelief, slowly feeling a small twinge of anger rising inside you.
“Yeah, and to make it even worse, it’s with that girl from the bar the other night,” he continued, fueling that growing anger. “The one from Jin’s birth-”
“Yeah, I fucking know her, Jungkook,” you snapped.
“Alright, jeez, don’t shoot the messenger,” he held his hands up. “I just thought you’d better know.”
How could he do this? Six straight days you’d been drowning yourself in guilt, crying yourself to sleep at the thought of losing your best friend. He was your everything and you lost him. You hoped and prayed he would at least take some pity on you and talk to you face to face one last time to tell you he couldn’t be your friend anymore, so that you could see him one last time and be in his presence.
But a date? A distraction? Is this what he called being in love?
It was like someone had stabbed you in the back, and the last person you imagined would’ve made you feel this way was Park Jimin. Yet again, you were wrong.
You forced your anger to overpower your sadness, managing to hold back the tears to ask Jungkook the question that was nagging you. “Where is he?”
If you thought his answer before had destroyed you, the answer he gave you next sent you six feet under.
“At the diner you two go to.”
Angry tears that you couldn’t stop were streaming down your face as you got out of the cab, practically jogging up to the door of the diner. You looked through the glass windows to find him sitting alone at one of the tables, and it seemed as if you were getting all sorts of hits today when you realized he was sat at your usual table.
You swung the door open, not caring about the few heads that turned towards you as you stomped your way over to him, noticing that the seat across from him was empty.
Good, she must be in the bathroom or something.
You stood in front of him and wiped away your tears, but it was useless because a fresh wave escaped your eyes as soon as you did.
He looked up at you as soon as he felt your presence, and his eyes widened at the sight of you in tears. He quickly sprung up from his seat and took a step closer to you, lifting his hand in an attempt to wipe your tears but you took a step back quickly.
“__, baby, what’s wrong?” His voice was so good to hear after so many days, but it still hurt to hear it.
“You brought her here?” You whimpered out. “You brought her to our fucking place, Park Jimin? Is this what you call a distraction?” You tried to control your voice but it was shaky through the tears and half sobs you were letting out. “Football is a distraction. Golf is a distraction. Drinking is a distraction. Hell, even go to a fucking strip club for all I car, Jimin. But bringing someone you barely know to this place, and having the nerve to bring her to our table? Wow,” you chuckled bitterly, and you almost scoffed at the confused look on his face.
“__, what are you talking-”
“Six days, Jimin! No calling or texting or anything, and I was okay with that because you need your space, I know that,” your voice was desperate now. “But why would you do this? I thought you loved me.”
“I do,” he said in a heartbeat, and he took a step closer and held your hand before you could step back. “I do. I love you so fucking much, but what the hell are you talking about right now? Who did I bring here? __, I’m so confused, just please talk to me.”
“Jungkook told me you were here on a date, Jimin,” you sniffled, using your free hand to wipe some tears away as you took a deep breath in an attempt to calm down.
“He did what?” His tone was shocked, and you almost believed.
“Come on, Jimin. Cut the crap, why would he-”
“Oh, hey, __. I didn’t know you were coming.” You heard a familiar voice come from your left, and your head snapped to see Taehyung making his way over. “Sorry, I was in the restr- woah, are you okay? What’s wrong?” His smile was wiped off and his voice filled with concern at the sight of you in tears.
Your eyes quickly went back to Jimin and he was already looking at you, eyebrows raised as if to tell you, see?
“Oh, erm, hi Tae..” You said awkwardly, letting go of Jimin’s hand and wiping at your tears hastily, attempting to fix your distressed state as you felt your face become red. “Yeah, I just needed to talk to Jimin real quick.”
“__, come on. I need to talk to you,” Jimin grabbed your hand. “I’ll catch up with you later Tae.”
Tae smiled understandingly and waved the both of you off as Jimin pulled you by the hand outside of the diner, and even in a time like this, you cherished the warmth of his hand enveloping yours.
He kept walking until he reached his car, and he wordlessly held the door open for you after he unlocked it before making his way to the driver’s seat. He got in but didn’t put the keys in the ignition, sitting quietly for about a minute straight before he spoke up.
“So you came here because Jungkook told you I brought some girl here on a date?” He asked.
“That little shit,” he growled. “He always has to stick his nose in other people’s shit and-”
“I’m glad he did, Jimin,” you cut him off. You knew he turned his head to look at you but you kept staring ahead, eyes fixed on a flickering street lamp in the nearly empty parking lot. “If it weren’t for him, who knows how long it would’ve taken me to talk to you.”
“I’m sorry. I was gonna call you soon, I just..” He trailed off, guilt evident in his voice, and you felt the same exact feeling because he didn’t do anything wrong, nothing.
“Don’t apologize, you had every right not to answer,” your voice sounded choked and you felt like the tears were coming back any second now. “I mean, what kind of best friend am I? I couldn’t even tell you in person, when you deserved an actual conversation and a full explanation about it, I texted you a short meaningless text like I was ordering a fucking pizza or something,” you sniffled when you felt a tear slowly slide down your cheek.
You felt his hand on your cheek, his thumb softly stopping the tear on its path, and you turned your head to look at him, eyes filled with sorrow and regret.
“I’m so sorry, Jimin.”
“Don’t apologize, __. You can’t help your feelings. It’s not your fault that you don’t love-”
“But I do!” You blurted out desperately, not standing the thought of him thinking you didn’t. “I do, I love you so fucking much, Jimin. I’m so in love with you.” Your hand came up and grabbed his that was on your cheek, holding it tightly in both hands, your body shifting slightly so you could face him properly. “I just don’t want to lose you. You mean the world to me and just the thought of something going wrong and then us drifting apart makes me go crazy. I just -” You took a deep breath in an attempt to calm down. “I can’t live without you.”
“You won’t have to. You won’t ever have to do that, __.” His tone was so soft and reassuring, you found yourself leaning over the console and throwing your arms around his neg in a tight hug. You buried your head in his neck, your tears wetting his neck but he didn’t seem to care as he buried his face in your hair. His arms tightened around your waist and he helped you lift yourself and maneuver your way into his lap. “No matter what, I’ll never leave you. I thought you’d know that by now considering the way I’ve been stuck by your ass for the past decade or something.”
You couldn’t help but chuckle despite your tears and he chuckled as well, and you tightened your arms around his neck, digging your face deeper into his neck to inhale his scent, something that always managed to calm you down.
You stayed that way for who knows how long, wrapped in each other’s arms, unable to pull away. But then a knock on the car window caused you two to jump apart in surprise, and you looked to see two smiling faces. Jimin hissed in displeasure but rolled his window down nonetheless.
“The hell are you doing here?” His question was most probably pointed at Jungkook.
“Just checking up on you two since you can’t seem to take care of yourselves like fucking grownups,” he scoffed but he had a smile on his face, earning a chuckle from Taehyung.
“Get out of here before I kick both your asses,” Jimin threatened in a serious tone. “And don’t even get me started on what I’m gonna do with you later, you little -” You cut off his threat to Jungkook by giggling and leaning against his chest.
“You should let him off the hook this one time, babe,” you let the pet name slip and you saw his lips curl up slightly. “At least it worked.”
“Yeah, Jimin, it worked,” Jungkook said smugly. And this time you flipped him off before rolling up the window yourself, quite pleased with the black tinted glass.
“Hey! We need a ride!”
“I suggest you two leave before you hear anything you don’t wanna hear,” you yelled, giggling when they groaned, muttering ‘ew’ and ‘gross’ simultaneously before it was silent once again.
You looked back to Jimin to find him looking at you with a large grin on his face, and this time you were the first one to say it.
“I’m in love with you , Park Jimin.”
“__, fuck. Baby,” his head dropped back against the pillow as your kisses traveled down his bare chest, already slightly damp with sweat. You didn’t waste a single second and quickly unbuttoned his jeans, pulling them down with his help. You bit your lip when your eyes landed on the bulge in his boxers, showing clearly through the dark tight material.
His chest heaved up and down when you grabbed the hem with your teeth, your pinkies hooking on both ends on his hips to help you pull it down, his eyes glazed with burning lust that had your body scorching hot. As soon as you got them all the way down, your lips quickly found his length, mouthing up and down at the hardness. You pressed sloppy kisses to it before your tongue slipped out for a taste, and his groan only spurred you on.
Your hand grabbed the base of it to angle him properly to your mouth, and you licked your lips at the sight of him so hard and ready for you. He stared down at you, eyes wide with anticipation as he waited for your next move, but they quickly slid shut once again when took his head in your mouth.
“Fuck,” he groaned out, his voice sounding much deeper than usual, and you felt yourself fucking soaking through your panties. Thankfully, your panties were the only piece of clothing you had on, making the steps you had to take later on much easier.
You slowly started bobbing your head to take more of him in your mouth, absolutely loving the way he tasted in your mouth. You weren’t usually one to enjoy doing stuff like this, but something about giving Jimin pleasure and making him feel good was better than receiving pleasure yourself. And you showed it to him by trying to take as much of him into your mouth as you couch until he hit the back of your throat.
“__, shit -” You gagged against his length and pulled your mouth away to cough slightly, regaining your breath but making up for it by stroking him with your hand, your spit making it easy for you to move your hand up and down. You leaned down and enveloped him once again in the warmth of your mouth, earning a long moan from him.
You didn’t know for how long you did that, bobbing your head slowly before increasing your pace every once in a while, then slowing down once again. Nothing but the sound of your mouth working on him, lewd sucking noises filling the room, as well as his pants and groans with your occasional hums were heard.
“Baby, baby stop.” He gripped your hair and softly tugged in an effort to pull your mouth away from him, and you obliged. “Come’ere,” he panted and you immediately clambered on top of his body, desperate to reach his mouth and kiss those swollen lips that you never knew would feel so amazing on yours, so right.
His hands touched every inch of your skin, fingers groping tightly onto every curve with neediness, and your hands did the same. Your nails grazed his skin, unable to control yourself, occasionally tugging on his soft hair when he squeezed your ass tightly in both hands.
Your hips moved and ground down onto his, your clothed crotch making contact with his bare length, but fuck it felt so good. Your panties were so thin and soaked through, you could practically feel every ridge and vein along his cock, and the pace of your hips immediately increased in desperation as sparks of euphoria tingled throughout your body.
“Fuck, that feels so good,” his head dropped back against the pillow beneath his head, eyes fluttering shut and exposing his throat to your lips. Your mouth landed on his Adam’s apple, your teeth grazing it softly and he reciprocated by splaying both hands on your ass and squeezing harshly, pushing you down harder against him and thrusting his hips up at the same time, putting just the right amount of pressure on your clit.
“Jimin,” you whimpered out. “Please, let me ride you.”
“Anything you want, baby. I’m all yours.” His words were breathy, lost in the pleasure of having you so willing in pliant in his arms, wanting this just as badly as he did. He was ready to give you everything, his whole world on a golden platter if you so much as thought about asking for it. His love for you was overflowing and he couldn’t believe he was finally able to share it with you.
“__, ah - fuck, yeah.” His groans were sexier than you could ever imagine, doubling the pleasure that was already running through your body. “God, you ride me so fucking good.”
You whimpered at his words, your nails digging into his sweaty chest as you bounced on top of him. He filled you up so nicely, nothing like you’d ever felt before. You were both drenched in sweat by now, your heart stuck to the back of your neck, and his matted down to his forehead, beads of sweat on his temples. He looked like a god, skin shiny with sweat, face blissed out, eyes fluttering shut every few seconds but fighting their way back open, swollen lips parted to let out pants and groans, cheeks flushed red in the most fucked out way.
“Fuck, fuck,” you whimpered, bouncing faster on him, the sound of skin smacking against skin filling the room as your ass met his thick thighs with each movement you made. “Jimin, I love you so much, baby..”
The loudest moan yet left his lips at your words, and he immediately sprang up from the mattress and sat up, his torso now flush against yours. He grabbed your hips and continued to bounce you on his cock.
“I love you, baby. I fucking love you,” he practically growled out the words before wrapping his arms tightly around your waist to flip you over. Your hands wrapped around him and gripped frantically onto his back when he immediately started pounding into you, crying out in immense pleasure at having the man you loved so much fuck you so good.
Your moans turned to scream, the bed squeaking in protest at the harsh movements Jimin made, your bodies moving desperately on the bed as you fucked like it was the last time, when it was actually only the first time of many, and the thought of that alone had you moaning louder.
“Jimin - fuck!” You squealed out, your head dropping back against the mattress when his mouth enveloped your nipple hungrily, sucking harshly at the sensitive bud as he continued his assault on your pussy. You could almost hear the sound of him moving inside you with how wet you were, but it was drowned out by louder much more prominent noises.
“Mine. You’re mine, baby,” he grunted, his hands slipping slightly on your thighs before he gripped them tightly and positioned them properly around his waist. His mouth found yours and he stuck his tongue in your mouth, giving extremely harsh thrusts and swallowing your desperate cries in return, You could do nothing but run your nails down his back, the sensations running through your body becoming too much for you.
His hands slid down from your thighs to your ass, gripping harshly before landing a smack there, and you couldn’t even cry out properly anymore, barely a whimper slipping out.
Jimin fucked you through your first orgasm, staring at you with glazed eyes as you writhed beneath him in sensitivity, eyes eating you up with insatiable hunger that had been pent up through years.
He turned you on your hands and knees and fucked you hard and fast, before your hands gave out and you dropped your face into the mattress. But he couldn’t even bother to stop, fucking you with your cries muffled into the sheets as you gripped them so tight, you were pretty sure they ripped.
He then flipped you once again on your back and leaned down so his body was completely stuck to yours before fucking you slow and deep, building up your orgasm in the best way possible, agonizingly yet beautifully slowly, and it was so intense you had tears of pleasure running down your cheeks by the end of it.
He fucked you through the night, taking you in every way he imagined possible, pleasuring your body like never before, all the while releasing all the pent up frustration he had on your body and making it his once and for all.
You woke up and turned to find him already staring at you with a smile so full of love and adoration, you were bashful. You smiled back and he leaned in to peck your lips.
“I love you,” you whispered against his lips, and he whispered it back in a heartbeat. You moved closer to hug him, your head resting on his chest. You’ve never felt safer than in his arms right now, legs tangled, bodies bare and stuck together as if they were one beneath the warm sheets.
Modern!AU You hate James Barnes with a burning passion and the feeling is entirely mutual. Just when you think things can’t get any worse, you are tricked into attending his sister’s wedding as his girlfriend. Stuck with a bunch of strangers, you come up with a set of rules that are not going to last long.
Warnings: Hate to Love, Fake Dating, Snarky Remarks, Language
A/N: Okay, just a warning, there will be a lot of OCs in this series (mostly Bucky’s sisters and parents) Hope you like the first chapter :)
You loved Natasha’s apartment. It was spacious and bright
and she had a great view of the city. There was just one teeny-tiny itsy-bitsy
problem… you hated her neighbour.
James ‘Bucky’ Barnes.
Natasha introduced you to Bucky a little over a year ago. Her
fiancé, Clint, adored him and Bucky always stopped by their apartment. The boys
would stay in the living room and watch TV while you and Natasha gossiped and
drank wine in the kitchen.
requests are open! Yes! Uh so I’d love to read a BTW reaction in which their s/o appreciates their flaws. Like kissing or praising parts of their body they don’t like (doesn’t have to be their body, can be things like namjoons clumsiness too). Since there are so many vice versas of them doing this, I feel like the boys deserve to get treated like they’re precious too :’)
Hola 😎 thanks for requesting ! .. here’s your requested reaction and I hope you like it
You decorated Jin’s face with your kisses, leaving behind your pink lip gloss as soon as he begun venting about his dislike of his glasses .
“You look adorable” he looked at you with a slight pout .
“I don’t like them” you threw your arms around his neck .
“Well I love them” .
“I want to go change” you glanced at Yoongi, he was wearing shorts and a polo shirt .
“Why?” he frowned .
“My legs look horrible” you rolled your eyes .
“Your legs look fine and you could use a tan” you teased him making him huff .
You pressed your lips onto his cheek and cupped the other with your hand .
“You look great” .
“Do you think I’m handsome?” you stared at him, surprised by his question .
“What are you talking about?” before he could answer you covered his mouth .
“If you ever question your attractiveness again I will personally throw you off of a cliff” he facial reaction showed pure horror .
“Jung Hoseok ,BTS visual, sounds nice doesn’t it?” you removed your hand to see his bright smile .
“You’re crazy but I love you” and your lips met his .
Rap Monster :
You glanced over at a frustrated Namjoon. He broke something…again.
He let out a sigh causing you to stroll over to him. You wrapped your arms around his waist .
“Are you hurt?” he shook his head .
“Good. As long as your ok, I’ll help you clean up” you let go of him and took his hand .
“No matter how many things you break I’ll still love you Kim Namjoon” a small smile came onto his lips .
(GOD HE IS SOOO CUTE !!!)
You took Jimin’s hand and begun to play with his fingers .
“Your hands are so cute” he pulled his hand away .
“No they’re not” you chuckled .
“Come on Jimin you have the cutest hands I’ve ever seen. I wish my hands were that cute” you could tell from Jimin’s face that he didn’t really like your words. So you took his head into to your hands and squished his cheek .
“But they’re not as cute as your face” you cooed, making him smile .
You stared at Taehyung’s face, analyzing his different facial expressions .
“What’s wrong?” he pointed at his phone ,pointed at himself, it was a video of the boys dancing .
“I think I messed up. It doesn’t look as good” .
“I couldn’t even do half of that without passing out from exhaustion” he laughed .You grabbed him playfully, ruffled his hair and kissed his cheeks making him laugh .
"I love you jagiya" .
You sat down on a near by table watching Jungkook dance. His movements were fluid, every step he took added to the story he was conveying, his dancing was more than mesmerizing .He stopped suddenly with a sigh, he looked over to you, his breathing rigid.
“Was it good?” you applauded as loud as you could .
“Bravo!” he laughed a bit uncomfortable .
“I don’t think it was good enough” you stopped clapping and glared at him unamused .
“That was the best dancing I’ve ever seen, J-Hope better look out cause you’re gonna steal his spot” he shook his head. You walked over to him and rested your head on his shoulder after giving him a peck on the cheek .
to (some of) the girls who built me up with clay
from sippy cups
and playground days:
1. flower girl in the yellow shorts: you are the softest shade of self and
i want to paint masterpieces from
your unapologetic way of living. let’s drive away next year to the city that chose us. of all the girls i have scoured for my reflection, i see the most of myself in you. whisper to me the ways you scare and disappoint yourself, i bet our shame and secrets are the same.
ii. fierce girl of foreign tongue: you came to us jagged from the times they broke you and scarred from the times you tried to break yourself. inject me with your courage the way you infect me with your laughter; loud opinions look good on you and i want to try them on too. most of all i love how you taught yourself to be gentle. i know it was hard to yank off the armour you welded yourself into but i hope the feeling of our love against your bare skin is worth it.
iii. girl i have loved longest: among the jewels of the world you shine brighter than all. i think kindness must be stitched deep into your soul. here is a small slice of advice (crumbs in comparison to the bakery of wisdom you offered me over cups of earl grey tea): it is not your job to save any person except yourself. you have a gift for bandaging wounds, but first pick the glass out of your own cuts. remember there are leeches out there who will cry until they suck you dry. old friend, you are not a sponge, you were made for more than soaking up the woes of others. say no when you have to, scream if it that’s what it takes to be heard.
iv. butterfly girl fluent in words and numbers, english and equations: i’m sorry that i did not get to know you better, did not hold you closer. we’ve known each other for over two thirds of our lives but for the most part we stayed on the fringes of friendship. you were always quiet. i know silence too, i understand it well. but here is a pact that should be spoken: as we forge a path into this strange new world, let us discover what it is not to hide behind the tongues of friends. let us not close our hearts and mouths out of fear.
v. enigmatic girl with the changing hair and restless heart: during my mole months i did not see daylight until i received you message. (are you okay? i miss you) i never told you but you were the only reason i left the house that week. thank-you, girl whose love folds along the equator. i always envied your ability to belong anywhere. but one humid night you admit to me that you feel lost, adrift. torn between two people who want to hurt each other almost as much as they want to love you. please know that no matter how far and long you run you will always have a home in me.
vi. tiny girl with the mile-a-minute voice: how the letters and days twist together when you are close. i love you for the way my laughter spills out, ugly and loud, when you talk. i love how deeply you care, how some memories etch themselves into the back of your skull. i did not know such passion could be contained in the entire cosmos - never mind in your elfin vessel.
vii. brilliant girl with the world at your feet: please throw me the scraps from your life. you are the most beautiful creature i have ever beheld but that is the least of your accomplishments. is there anything you can’t do? teach me to speak like you, stitch like you, write like you, think like you, challenge myself like you, work like you, love like you. you could soar so high on the wings you built yourself, you could see things we could never dream up. my only request is that you don’t lose sight of me, waving from the tallest hill i can climb.
viii. fire-hot girl with the ice-cold eyes: you were the final one to join our circle and you made it whole. your jokes have a bite, your compliments have a kick. you could make the sun orbit you, you could make the stars rearrange themselves for the chance to shine on you. saturated girl, i know how hard it is to allow for vulnerability, to tell someone you care. sincere love is throwing yourself off a cliff and trusting the waves to cradle you, but believe me, nothing else compares.
to my eight sisters, thank-you for our seven days, thank-you for our six years // L.H.
🌙Encouragement for the Moon Signs Part 2: Libra-Pisces🌙
♎️Libra Moon : You are too kind. Too pleasing. Too balanced. The level scales struggle with the severity of feeling. You are going to have to decide what is right and what is fair, because it can’t always be both. You are graceful and far reaching, welcoming and flowing, but don’t give your hand to a wolf. Guard yourself.
♏️Scorpio Moon : You are so turbulent. Extreme. Severe. Hidden. Extract your feelings and put them on the table. But tenderly. The outside world can’t always handle your intensity so well, but there are ways to express yourself without compromising your essence. You’re so beautiful. A magic sorcerer. Don’t be a hermit always. Let yourself into the light.
♐️Sagittarius Moon : You are the enthusiast, the traveling being, Jupiter expands your emotions, and sometimes it’s hard to reach and grab ahold of them. Ideals and fire are beautiful things. But reach down and grab a handful of earth, a sip of water, and throw yourself off a cliff. You are warm and optimistic, feel yourself close and not always far.
♑️Capricorn Moon : My dear Capricorn, you are the toughest of them all. Too tough. Too guarded. Too strong. Too afraid. But so, so soft on the inside. And this is my lesson to you: let softness reveal its strength to you, and vulnerability be your tender hand to hold when the feelings you bottle inside become too much to handle on your own. Speak up intimately. Shout and scream to your loved ones. You deserve it. Don’t stay quiet and repressed.
♒️Aquarius Moon : Sister, sister. Some call you my opposite, and yet we are so close. You crave (good) attention but won’t admit it. You crave community and acceptance but are confused by the warmth that requires. You feel so different, so unique, so foreign, your emotions are hard to understand. But I know you and I feel you. You aren’t a foreigner, though you feel like one. Be what I shouldn’t: loud, dramatic. Open yourself up and ATTACH.
♓️Pisces Moon : I love you. You are the true empath. The true dreamer under the sea, the psychic healer, the unrelenting lover, always willing to be the sacrificial lamb so someone else doesn’t have to be. So the hurt is evaded. These are my words to you : help the hurting, heal the oppressed, but strike down the evil energy and do not let yourself be walked on, for you are the feet of emotion, the bottom of the sea rising to the surface to break the act and bring us all as one into your compassionate dream. A dream that is a lost reality. Stand your ground. You don’t have to be a black hole for darkness and evil. Absorb the good and heal yourself.
(For context, playing in FLGS and one beloved worker’s last day(called N). Said worker would come over once a session and roll a d20 to see if lightning struck in a relevant way. Hasn’t happened yet. Frank is the recurring name of NPCs with a generally short life span.)
Frank: I’m the luckiest man alive! Unless one of you throw me off this cliff or I get struck by lightning right now, there’s no chance of me dying! Especially not b-.
Player A: Call N over.
Player B: Oh god, you said lightning!
Player A: Yeah, he’s leaving and this will be the best call him over!
DM calls over N and has him roll with advantage to determine lightning.
And then a Twenty.
Frank is nearly destroyed by lightning, N is happy, the party does of laughter. The party favored soul finally has the chance to heal someone. Good times were had.
11.12.17 // the struggle of staying active & posting on tumblr when all you want to do is throw yourself off a cliff. i’m still on (semi??) hiatus bc oops my cold, icy heart shattered but i have a bunch of posts in my drafts so here you go c: i hope everyone is doing well~