ENFP: They actually crave schedules and structure like nobodies business, if and only if it revolves around their passions.
INFP: The “manic pixie dream girl” stigma is so wrong. 90% of them are more along the lines of “embittered memelords” with a splash of off-beat and sensible fashion.
INTP: They’re actually excellent in social situations that they throw themselves into. Your odd aggressiveness and shouting is amusing and weirdly charismatic.
ENTP: You’ll have to murder them a thousand times before they’ll admit that they actually DO crave harmony and peace more than chaos; Debate and verbal jousting (and memes) is just their way of getting there.
ENFJ: The worst time management skills. Worse than all of the P’s put together, bar none. You got stars in your eyes and not a single “no” in your throats and it often leaves you ragged busybodies from over committing yourselves.
INFJ: Despite their ‘mysterious and secretive nature’ stigma, if you engage them in a deep conversation about their passions, 9 times out of 10 they will splay their soul to you even though you met 5 minutes ago at a college party.
ISFJ: They’re known for being the kindly, grandmotherly type that just wants the best for their friends, but the flip side is they’re all basic bitches that secretly crave being a tool. They’re usually just too nice to go Full Douche™, praise the Lord.
ESFJ: Despite being known as the social butterfly, the Fe and Si combination sometimes makes for an extremely judgmental, polarizing, and single-minded personality, and can seem like the most socially inept/oblivious person in the room.
ESTJ: Weirdly enough, more often than not, they’re one of the most socially graceful and self-aware people in the room. That, or they’re utterly cringeworthy. Not really any in between. Just don’t get them started on politics (I’m begging you).
ISTJ: Despite the ‘emotionless Traditionalist™ robot’ stigma, although they can’t offer consistent emotional output, all of the ones I’ve met are some of the most emotionally stable, mature, and available people I’ve ever met.
ENTJ: Your responsible, efficient, and commanding CEO of a friend is actually the biggest procrastinator in the game, bar none. It’s hidden under a few hundred layers of self-confidence, but they need the stress of the last minute to feel anything in this world.
INTJ: Massive internal war between fearless, emotionless sociopathy, and caring so deeply for a select few people that they’d give up every ambition to follow them to the ends of the earth without a single plan. TL;DR, their black and icy hearts are secretly hearts of gold and they absolutely abhor that about themselves.
ESFP: Your favorite quick-talking, loud-mouthed, social explosion with all the friends is probably pretty lonely on the inside. Almost every ESFP I’ve met has huge commitment issues (big and pretty accurate stereotype), but few people realize it usually comes from self-knowledge of their sporadic nature, and they keep people at an emotional distance as a result, so they don’t end up getting hurt. Advice: letting people in and trying to make it work is infinitely better than loneliness in a crowd.
ISFP: The EXTJ’s WISH they could be as soul-crushingly terrifying as your favorite superwholockian, equestrian painter friend when somebody’s crossed their family or friends.
ESTP: The “sex, drugs, drinking, and more sex” cliche with ESTP’s is so dumb because literally every ESTP I know doesn’t care about alcohol or sex more than any other person I’ve met, but they ARE infinitely more obsessed with ultimate frisbee and bridge jumping.
ISTP: The calm, rational, logical side of Ti is thrown completely out of the driver’s side window when they’re behind the wheel, because these hoes have the worst road rage I’ve ever seen, without exception.
Constantly bickering with Harrison on who Tom loves more.
Always winning these fights
“Sorry mate, but have you seen her? She’s absolutely stunning.”
Having all sorts of adventures with Tom and Harrison
Because let’s face it, wherever Tom goes, Harrison follows.
But never really minding because as long as Tom is around, so are you.
Tom always making sure that you’re okay.
“You sure, love? Okay. I just want to make sure my girl is happy.”
Him wrapping his arms around you every chance he gets.
Calling you every kind of cute nickname in the book because he can never just pick one.
“Babe, love, doll, sweetie, beautiful, gorgeous, cutie, honey,” All of them.
Sometimes finding himself just staring at you because he can not believe how lucky he is to have you.
Having to break up Tom and Harrison’s arguments on who loves you more.
“Enough, you two. I swear you guys are like little kids fighting over a toy, and I am NOT a toy.”
“Course you’re not, babe. But, I do love you more than Haz.”
“I know you do. Why do you think I’m with you.”
Tom leaving you with little notes that he placed everywhere.
“Hey babe, I love you!”
“Did you know you’re amazing?”
“You’re my girl, don’t ever forget.”
“Call me when you find this!”
“I could stare you forever.”
“You’re the first and last person on my mind.”
“I miss you.”
Tom begging you to go with him everywhere because he just doesn’t want to leave you.
“Please come with me.”
“No, Tom. I have to work-”
“-but, I’m Spiderman. You don’t have to work.”
“Did you just seriously use that line on me?”
“Did it work?”
“Absolutely not, you dork. I love you, I do but I promise I’ll come visit. Okay?”
“Fine, but you better.”
Always, always feeling guilty because you know that sometimes he gets a little bit of anxiety and stressed and you seem to be the only remedy.
Flying out on the next flight possible.
And immediately all the stress and anxious thoughts are thrown out the window the minute he sees you.
Him always whispering in your ear, “Thank you.”
Always reassuring him that he’s earned all the success in his life.
Sometimes feeling a little scared that he’ll forget you with his oncoming fame.
Tom reading you like a book and breaking these thoughts from your head.
“You do know that I love you right? And that I wouldn’t be here without you. I’d be a wreck if I ever lost you. Don’t ever think for one second that I could make it without you.”
Feeling reassured until the next time you felt scared.
Tom always going above and beyond in his gifts for you on birthdays, anniversaries, and just because he want to’s.
Him surprising you with a vacation to a place you’ve always wanted to visit.
Following him basically anywhere and everywhere because he will literally get on his hands and knees to beg.
Forcing you to play basketball with him even though you know that there’s a reason why you’re not a pro basketball player.
But always seeming to win.
Knowing that he lets you.
But never questioning it because it was his way of spending time with you.
Spending time with his family.
Because in a way, they’re your second family.
Tom’s mother commenting on how happy she is that Tom has found himself a wonderful girl.
His father agreeing one hundred percent and cracking jokes as to when they should expect the wedding.
His brothers always teasing Tom about how much you have him wrapped around your finger.
Blushing because you would never want him to be “whipped”, but it’s nice to know that you have that power.
Tom clapping back with, “At least I’ve got a girlfriend.”
Laughing when they’d all get into a wrestling match.
“If I win, [Y/N] is mine!”
“No, if I win, [Y/N] mine!”
“Bloody Hell! You gits think you’re actually going to win? [Y/N] will always be mine, whether or not I do lose.”
Going to the gym with him.
Getting distracted because by God those muscles should be illegal.
Him knowing it and teasing you about it.
Always getting back at him by doing anything and everything that shows of your figure.
Tom throwing down his weights and attacking you with kisses.
Him always being respectful of your boundaries.
Never pushing you to do things you don’t want to do.
You loving him for it.
Knowing that you will eventually let him but just not right now because you’re not ready.
And him being perfectly okay with that.
Sparring with him.
Tom being beyond impressed at your skills.
Telling you everyday how much he loves you.
Begging him to take you to go get icecream even though he can’t really have any.
Scolding him when he says, “fuck it,” and gets himself some.
“You’re trainer is going to be pissed.”
Shaking your head and enjoying your icecream date with him.
Taking Tess out for walks together.
Taking a million pictures of her because she’s just so damn cute.
Lazy days with Tess
Cuddling the poor dog into suffocation until she can’t take it anymore and leaves.
Leaving you two clinging onto each other.
Tom leaving trails of kisses along your forehead.
Holding you tight.
Falling asleep in each other’s arms.
Waking up in the middle of night, panicking because your parents are going to freak out.
Tom shooting out of bed to get you home.
Him trying to help you sneak into your house without your parents waking up.
Him mumbling that the two of you should just move out together.
Telling him that it would be a good idea but to talk about it later.
Tom always gushing about you in interviews.
Always being his plus one to the films you want to see.
Introducing you to your favorite actors.
Getting embarrassed when Robert Downey Jr. finally gets to meet you.
“SO, this is the girl you never shut up about? It’s about damn time I finally meet her. [Y/N], it’s so lovely to meet you. I feel like I practically know you with the amount of stuff Tom has told me about you.”
Also getting a little embarrassed but not as embarrassed as when fans stop you on the streets.
Getting panicky because you’re just waiting for the hate.
But being surprised when it’s nothing but love and awe.
Agreeing to take pictures with them and asking to take one of them so you can put it on Instagram as well.
Speaking of Instagram, Tom is forever posting sly pictures of you.
You are literally all over his page.
But, it’s okay because he is all over yours.
You’ve been trending on #couplegoals for days.
Threatening Tom with his life if he doesn’t stop posting the selfies you send him.
Him not caring.
“I’ll take my chances, babe.”
Getting him back on snapchat with the crazy filters.
Agreeing to tone down the embarrassing pictures.
But one or two always comes leaking out and you are forever mortified.
Starting a prank war.
You always seeming to have better pranks.
Feeling bad and deciding to call it off but not before Tom gets you really good.
Laying out under the stars and talking about the future.
Telling each other that as long as you have each other, the future can bring whatever it wants.
Tom surprising you with a promise ring.
“We’re both still really young and I know a lot of people our age are getting married but I just can’t imagine getting married at this moment. But at least with this, it’s a promise that you will have my last name, just not right now.”
You accepting it because there is not a damn soul on this earth aside from Tom that you could see yourself with.
YOI royalty AU in which 18-year-old Yuuri is the prince of the country of Yutopia, and in the year leading up to his sister’s coronation as queen, he finds his relationship with Mari deteriorating.
He doesn’t blame her - she’s under a lot of stress, taking on more of her father’s responsibilities, meeting with all the leaders of their country’s allies, finalizing all the plans for the coronation gala.
But when one particular argument goes too far, he decides to run away from home and lay low for a while until the storm passes.
Of course, he can’t stay in his own country, because literally everyone knows the face of their beloved prince.
So he goes to the neighbouring country.
Unfortunately though, his plans of laying low are thrown right out the window when, through a series of misunderstandings, he somehow finds himself the new bodyguard of crown prince Viktor Nikiforov.
By the time Yuuri realizes what’s happened, it’s too late, and he’s too embarrassed to out himself, so he plays along while frantically trying to think of a way to get out of this situation.
Several hijinks ensue as Yuuri repeatedly brings himself under suspicion by knowing too much about manners and etiquette of being in high society, and the foreign relationships and alliances between the monarchs of the different countries.
Of course, it also doesn’t help when his best friend, prince Phichit, whose country is Yutopia’s closest ally, has an audience with Viktor and almost outs Yuuri the moment he sees him at Viktor’s side.
Luckily, Phichit and Yuuri have long since mastered the art of silent communication and the moment Viktor turns away for a second to give orders to a servant to have a feast prepared, Yuuri is able to signal to Phichit that Viktor doesn’t know about him being a prince and that it has to stay that way.
Phichit finds the entire situation hilarious, but he doesn’t say anything. The mischievous smirk he directs at Yuuri does hae Viktor confused though when he turns back to look at Phichit. Phichit’s aides have long since gotten used to their prince’s antics and they decide that if he’s not saying anything about Yuuri being treated like a mere servant rather than the respect he deserves, then they probably shouldn’t mention anything either.
In the end, the jig is up when Mari sends one of her people with an invitation to her coronation for King Yakov and his two sons.
The man immediately recognizes Yuuri and right there, in front of the king and both princes, he breaks down in tears, sobbing to Yuuri that, “Your majesty!! We have been looking for you everywhere!!! Your royal parents have been sick with worry! Please return home at once!”
Everyone turns to stare at Yuuri in shock.
Yuuri just laughs awkwardly and explains that he’s actually the prince of the neighbouring kingdom haha, surprise!
There’s a long silence after that.
And Yuuri is starting to get a little worried that his actions would constitute as an act of war.
In the end, Viktor is the one to break the silence when he pulls Yuuri into his lap in a tight embrace, and turns to laugh at his father.
“Yuuri’s a prince! Take that you stupid old man!” he crows in delight. “Now there’s nothing you can do to stop me from marrying him!!”
Can we, like, stop reducing complex, multi-layered characters into flat ones just for racial stereotypes?
Can we write Reyes as a complex character, full of life and that Aesthetic™ while also being bitter at the world, being damn good at his job and slightly aloof while truly caring for his men. Or will he forever be reduced to swearing in Spanish and overused la chancla jokes with no character growth whatsoever because you can only see Latino jokes.
Can we write D.Va as a young woman, who is skilled beyond her years, excitable and quirky but also affected by the war she’s been in and the stuff she’s seen, someone who has a lot of room to grow but has also been forced into a position that requires maturity. Or will she forever be a dorito gremlin and baby jokes because she’s Korean and people immediately assume she’s got the emotional capacity of a child.
Can we write Zarya as a woman who’s worked her way up, who has become strong because she worked hard and trained for many, many hours to build her body like that, someone who built their strength to wear they can rip a particle canon off an omnic to save her people. Or will she forever be strong only because she’s Russian so of course she’s strong, right?
Can we write Morrison as someone who has had a lot of stress and the pressure to be perfect in the eyes of the media, with Overwatch breathing down his neck, only to have everything be ripped away from him and his only motivation left is why he lost his family, who went into the SEP knowing he might die but did it anyways. Or will he forever be White Bread™ because hey, he’s a white male so he’s automatically an awful human being and an asshole.
Can we write Mei as someone who woke up to find everything she knew gone in one horrible blizzard, discovering that 10 years have passed in the blink of an eye, finding that her goal of saving the world hasn’t been progressed while she’s gone, but still manages to smile at things and giggle at puns, still manages to be friendly to those around her instead of slumping into a major depression. Or will her being Chinese forever cast her as either being an evil, angry, small Asian woman, or naive because people associate a Chinese accent with failing to understand things?
By all means, add their culture. Add traditions and language and beautiful things from all around the world. But do not squish them into their stereotypes and destroy multi-faceted characters and nullify any development they go through.
It has been MONTHS since I’ve posted anything on here, but my vacation just started and I am so fucking ready to get back on here. This is the longest shit i’ve ever written so i hope you guys like it. I’m only writing for BTS at the moment so if you have any requests for them, i’d be happy to oblige. Without further ado, please and enjoy. Feedback is much appreciated, as usual.
Pairing: Jungkook x reader Genre: fluff, smut
“Fucksake, not again..” you grumbled. You brought your hands up to your eyes and rubbed at them sleepily, feeling the anger slowly boiling up inside of you as you sat up in your bed.
Just ignore it. Just block it out, close your eyes, and go back to sleep. You can do this.
The encouraging words you kept repeating in your head made you lie back down, still holding onto the small piece of hope you still had, but it was quickly erased when another moan rang out in your ears and you groaned for the nth time before sitting up again.
You actually felt like crying at that moment. There was nothing you wanted to do more than get a decent amount of sleep after a hell-filled week. With the all exams you’d been studying for, all the papers, all the assignments, you craved a weekend full of goodnight sleeps and rest. But, clearly, that was just too much to ask of the horny fucking assholes who couldn’t keep it in their pants at this time of night.
You were too tired to even think of going there and giving them shit about it. So you just got up out of bed, still in your pajamas that consisted of shorts and a baggy t-shirt, grabbed your phone and dorm room key, and left your room. You cringed as you passed the room next to yours when you heard another groan echo from there, deciding you wanted to get off this whole fucking floor to at least have a quiet and peaceful night, even without sleep.
You sighed and ran a hand down your face as you entered the elevator before pressing the button to the main floor, considering the main lounge would be empty at this time of night. The ding sounded when you reached the floor, the door slowly sliding open to a completely empty and silent room. A tiny smile graced your lips as you walked to a seat in the corner, a small part of you happy to spend some quiet alone time, even though you were spending it outside your bed on an uncomfortable couch. But hey, when in college, those things were nothing to complain about.
You took your phone out and opened Instagram, scrolling through the search feed in search of anything entertaining. You sighed and slid down the seat and brought your legs up to rest on the seat, trying to get as comfortable as possible because it seemed it was going to be a long night.
Time seemed to fly as you sat there, switching between Instagram, Tumblr, and Twitter, occasionally turning on some music and singing along softly. But when you looked at the time, only twenty minutes had passed by. You groaned and sat up properly, locking your phone and looking up at the ceiling in frustration. You were pretty damn sure the two rabbits fucking upstairs were anywhere near done since you’ve experienced stuff like this countless times before, so you had no idea what to do. You only grabbed your phone and laid back against the couch once again, laying your head back and closing your eyes for a few seconds to clear your head. But then you heard the elevator ding, and your eyes snapped open quickly. Who the hell would come down here at this time of night?
You turned your head but stayed in your position, watching as the boy walked out of the elevator oblivious to your presence with his eyes glued to his phone. You definitely recognized him from around campus since he was pretty hard not to notice. He was one of the cuter guys around, not with too much attention though. He had his own group of friends and didn’t seem to want to broaden it any time soon. You didn’t even know his name even though he was in one or two of your classes.
He didn’t look up from his phone until he sat down on one of the couches a few feet away. As his eyes scanned the room, they landed on you and they widened at the presence of someone else. You sent him a small flustered smile, having been caught staring at him, and he sent one back. You broke eye contact and looked down at your phone once again. You were very tempted to go up and maybe say hi, get to know him maybe. But you didn’t wanna be one of those annoying strangers that annoyed the hell out of you without knowing it, and you had a feeling he was too polite to ignore you or tell you to fuck off. So you stuck to scrolling through your phone once again and sighing as you dug yourself further into your seat, occasionally glancing over to him to see him engrossed in his own phone.
Another fifteen minutes had passed by, and you looked up when you heard shifting from his side of the room as he got up and walked to a vending machine in the corner. He slid in some money and once you heard the crumpling of the wrapping of what you guessed was a chocolate bar, you suddenly felt the hunger that was starting to take over your stomach. You were pretty sure you didn’t have any money to buy anything though, since you didn’t bother to think about anything but getting away from that damned floor.
However, you were surprised when, out of the corner of your eye, you saw him making his way over to you, and you tried not to get nervous at the thought of actually having to interact with him. You weren’t very used to meeting and talking to new people, especially when they were attractive.
You kept your eyes glued to your phone, thinking maybe he was going in a different direction than you thought, but then a snickers bar was held up before you. Your eyes brows raised in surprise and you looked up to find him looking at you expectantly, his other hand holding his own half-eaten snickers bar. You stared at him for a few seconds, mouth slightly agape in confusion and slight bewilderment.
“I didn’t know what you liked so I got you the same as mine,” he said after he swallowed down his bite, and the look he held in his eyes was so soft and innocent you almost melted right there.
“Erm, thank you,” you chuckled and sat up in your seat. “You really didn’t have to.”
He smiled a cute, bunny-teethed smile and nudged the chocolate towards you once again. “I guessed you were down here much earlier than I was so.. it’s nothing really.”
You took it from him with a smile and thanked him once again, feeling your stomach flutter when he took a seat on the couch opposite to you and unlocked his phone before settling in. You settled back as well and unwrapped the chocolate bar before taking a bite, savoring the sweet and salty taste that always managed to have you full in just a few bites.
You continued to use your phone when you felt his eyes on you, and you didn’t know whether to look up or just ignore it. But you couldn’t help but let your eyes meet his, and he was quick to avert his gaze down, but you definitely caught the slight tint in his cheeks at being caught.
“Are you down here for the same reason I am?” He asked all of a sudden, and you looked up mid bite to find him having locked his phone with his attention now on you, and you decided to do the same.
“Wait, is Park Jimin on your floor too?” You asked, slowly connecting the dots in your head as a smile slid onto both of your lips before you two busted out laughing.
“I knew it,” he sighed after you both stopped your laughing fit. “I’m Jungkook by the way.”
Within another half an hour, you’d gotten to know more than a handful of things about him. He was a dance major. He had a part time job because, similar to 90% of college students, he was struggling to pay his college fees. One of his best friends was Park Jimin, the dickhead currently fucking someone in his dorm room. People like to call him ‘Kookie’ or ‘Jungkookie’, which you found extremely adorable to be completely honest. He loved to sing. His favorite number is 1. He has a black belt in Taekwondo.
And, surprisingly, you talked and spilled just as much. It was nice. It’d been a long time since you sat down and just had a long chat with someone about nothing in particular, just anything that came to mind. He’d even made his way over to you and sat on the seat next to yours, and you tried not to focus too much on the handsome features of his face after he sat so much closer.
However, after you both yawned for the fifth time, you grabbed your phone to look at the time, surprised to see that two hours had just flied by.
“You think Park would be done by now?” You asked after another yawn and he chuckled as he checked his phone for the time as well.
“If he’s not, I’m going in there to kick his ass myself.”
When you reached your room, you turned to him and gave him one last smile.
“Night Jungkook. Thanks again for that snickers bar, if it weren’t for you I would’ve starved to death down there instead of coming back up here and getting some cash and hear that girl getting murdered.”
“You’re welcome,” he laughed. “Night __, I’ll see you around.”
That was about a week ago. You hadn’t seen much of Jungkook except for in classes where you two said simple ‘hellos’ and exchanged smiles. A small part of you was upset that you two hadn’t talked properly again, or even exchanged numbers. But you figured that night was a one time thing and he only talked to you because there was no other better way to pass the time.
That thought, however, was quickly thrown out the window when you heard your name being called as you walked to your next class, which happened to be with Jungkook himself. You turned your head to see him jogging up to you, ignoring the butterflies that flooded your tummy at the sight of him.
“What’s up?” You greeted with a smile and he sent one right back as he walked alongside you.
“Nothing much. We have the same class right now, right?” He asked, and the small high school part of you squealed at the fact that he remembered that.
“Yeah,” you nodded. “Are you mentally and emotionally prepared for the amazing and fun-filled lectures of Mr. Kim?” You asked with false enthusiasm.
“Oh yeah, super pumped,” he chuckled. As you walked, you continued to chat casually about your week and how it’d gone. You finally reached your class and you walked to a vacant seat, expecting him to part ways with you and sit near his friends since they also attended this class. However, you were pleasantly surprised when he followed you and took the seat right next to yours, and bit back a smile as you settled in your seat.
The two hour lecture started, and for the first time in a long time, you weren’t bored out of your mind and halfway asleep on your desk. The reason was Jeon Jungkook and his antics. He kept doodling on your notebook, which you had no use of, passing you notes, and making lame jokes that had you choking back laughter.
You were currently practically red in the face, giggling quietly, body shaking from laughter as you leaned your head against the table so that nobody saw you. Then he tapped you on the shoulder and you sat up, huffing out a sigh after your laughing fit before looking to him expectantly.
“Give me your phone.”
“What?” You chuckled. “Why?”
“Just give it to me.”
You slid your phone out of your pocket and handed it over to him after unlocking it. He typed in a few things before giving it back, and before you could ask he talked.
“There, now you have my number saved. Text me later so I can have your number saved too, yeah?” He smiled that sweet smile once again and you had no idea why you felt your cheeks heat up slightly, but you turned to the front of the class so he wouldn’t notice, though you were pretty sure he knew your were grinning.
are you coming to taehyung’s party tonight?
i don’t think so
why not? :/ it’s fridayy
i have a lot of studying to catch up on
oh come on __ you still have the whole weekend
well yeah but still idk if that’s enough
please? i promise you’ll have fun if i’m there with you
You felt a smile grace your lips and you knew you couldn’t turn him down.
alright fine see you there
You sighed as you laid there in bed, already stressing about what you were gonna wear and the countless people you were going to have to talk to during your time there. But then you remembered that you were going to see him, in a much more relaxed and loose atmosphere, so you immediately got up and started rummaging through your closet for an outfit.
You settled for simple. A crop top, some ripped skinny jeans, and healed boots. Your makeup was simple and you let your hair down, which wasn’t something you often did so you liked the change. You checked your phone for the clock and decided to head out. You texted him that you were on your way, and he said that he’d be waiting for you.
You knew the address since you’d been to Taehyung’s parties before, and you definitely knew how wild they’d get sometimes, which is partially why you were hesitant to come. But you couldn’t help but agree. Ever since he’d given you his number, he’d texted you everyday. Sometimes a good morning text, others a goodnight text, with silly and goofy texts that spread out through the hours of the day. You weren’t going to deny it, you were starting to like him. With his stupid smile, his sweet personality, his gorgeous everything, it was hard not to.
The door to Taehyung’s was open and you made your way in, your eyes scanning the place to try and find anyone familiar, but to no avail. You walked further into the house and headed towards the kitchen, quite enjoying the loud music that filled your ears, and pulled out your phone to see if he’d texted you.
text me when you get here
i’m in the kitchen
You sent the text and leaned back against the counter, settling for waiting instead of getting a drink. You knew not to drink anything at these frat parties if you didn’t have anyone watching your back.
In less than a minute, you looked up to see him walking towards you. You felt a smile automatically being drawn onto your lips as soon as he reached you, and it was accompanied with a soft blush when he immediately pulled you into a short hug as he reached you.
“Glad you came,” he grinned as he pulled back.
“Well I gotta admit, a small part of me didn’t wanna spend the night writing a ten page essay,” you chuckled.
“Come on, let me introduce you to my friends.”
There was Taehyung, Namjoon, Hoseok, and Jimin, who was surprisingly not a dick as you’d expected. They were all a bunch of chill guys who sat there and laughed with a few others, and you kind of got the vibe that this was Jungkook’s close group of friends that he hung out with, and you were happy to meet them.
Each and everyone of them addressed him as Kookie, and you smile each and every time they did. You two sat on one of the couches, his arm resting behind you on the back of the couch, so it was easy for you to lean towards him and mumble to him.
“So, Kookie huh?” You giggled when he blushed.
“Yeah, I told you they all call me that,” he chuckled. “It’s not by choice, believe me.”
“Don’t worry, it’s pretty cute.”
“Not as cute as you.” As soon as the words left his mouth, he closed his eyes and groaned in embarrassment. “That was so tacky, wasn’t it?”
You couldn’t help but bust out laughing at that, and despite his embarrassment, you saw him crack a smile. You nudged his shoulder playfully and leaned slightly into him.
“It was, but I’ll give you an A for effort.”
“He locked me out of my own house for two hours just because I went with Taehyung to a new place that opened in our town,” he sighed and shook his head in mock disappointment.
“What the hell?” You laughed loudly. “He was worse than a clingy girlfriend.”
“Yeah, Park Jimin isn’t the most open minded best friend, or boyfriend,” he laughed with you.
You two were walking home from the party, and he was telling you old stories about him and his friends. Apparently, they were all friends for a long time, and it made your heart even softer to think of all of them still holding onto their friendship and keeping it strong through all those years.
“It’s sweet that you guys are still close friends after so long,” you smiled up at him and he smiled as well at the thought of his friends.
“Yeah, but they can be assholes sometimes. But I guess Jimin being an asshole two weeks ago brought us here didn’t it?” He nudged you with his elbow and you really couldn’t manage not to blush.
“Yeah, I guess..”
“Do you wanna go out with me?”
You sputtered on your coffee at the sudden question. managing to save yourself from a coughing fit before looking up at him. He stared at you nervously, contemplating whether it was a good decision or not to blurt this out in the middle of a study session in the cafe you both chose.
“I mean, you don’t have to.. I just thought-”
“I’d love to, Jungkook.” You cut him off and placed a hand on his to relax his nervous posture, and he immediately smiled in relief and you felt your heart flutter at the mix of it all.
“Tomorrow night then?” He asked, and you only managed to nod eagerly, already feeling your heart racing when he turned his palm upwards to squeeze your hand.
You were glad that he didn’t suggest something like dinner, but instead opted for bowling. It wasn’t that you wouldn’t enjoy dinner with him, you were more than sure you would enjoy doing just about anything with him. But you absolutely loved bowling, or in other words, you absolutely loved anything that involved competition. So you immediately agreed.
You sat on your bed, switching between nervously biting on your fingernails and fiddling with a loose string on the bed sheets. You shouldn’t be nervous. It was only Jeon Jungkook, the sweet boy who managed to make you comfortable with only a simple smile and a few words.
But this was different. When you first talked to him, the thought of him actually taking an interest in you was way, way far off. But then he reached out to you and talked to you in uni, and still, you thought he was one of those persons who were too nice for their own good, and was only interacting with you so as not to be rude after having talked to you a week earlier. And then, he took your number, and he texted you and called you, and hung out with you. But you managed not to let yourself get hopeful because some guys did manage to lead girls on without actually realizing it.
Then he dropped the bomb and asked you out.
And now your palms were sweaty and your heart was racing because in the short time you’d spent with this boy, you could already tell he was the epitome of sweetness, and you pondered why he’d chosen to ask you out of all people.
Your thoughts were interrupted with a knock on your door that alerted you that it was finally time. You swung the door open to be met with those puppy dog eyes once again, and the contrast between his innocent face and his lean body still made you wonder how he could make it work.
“Hey,” he smiled and moved in for a quick hug which you accepted, enjoying the way his whole body radiated with warmth.
“Hi,” you greeted back with a grin.
“Ready?” He asked, but he was already stretching his arm out for you to grab his hand, and you slickly wiped your palm along your pants before placing your hand in his.
“Oh my god, you are so going down, Jeon.”
You didn’t realize this date could turn so quickly into a serious match, but with the amount of competitiveness you both apparently had ingrained in your genes, it was inevitable
“If I get one more strike, it’s done for you, __.” He raised his brows teasingly with a smirk that you still hadn’t gotten the chance to get used to. He went and grabbed his ball, throwing you one last glance.
“Huh, yeah. Good luck with that, sweetie.” You said those words with as much false confidence as you could muster up. But you knew, you just knew he would get it.
“How ‘bout if I get this, we go on a second date tomorrow?” He turned to face you again just before he threw the ball.
“Is this how you get girls to go on dates with you, Kookie?” You used his nickname on him for the very first time, and the smile that took over his lips had butterflies flooding your stomach for the hundredth time that night.
“Not usually, no.” He shook his head as he walked closer to you after placing the bowling ball back down. He stopped a foot before you. “I guess you’re different though. Desperate times call for desperate measures.”
You bravely took a step forward and looked up at him, quite enjoying the significant height difference. “Well, don’t worry. Strike or no strike, I’d love to go out with you again.”
You both smiled at each other again, standing there for another handful of seconds before he turned and grabbed the ball, confidently throwing it in a more than perfect posture.
Of course, it was a strike.
The second date was a movie. Cliche, yes, but if you two hadn’t spent almost the entire movie throwing popcorn over each other, you would’ve been bored out of your mind. You were shushed and scolded several times, until they actually kicked you out of the theater for ‘disturbing the others’. But you couldn’t care less as you both laughed till tears were rolling out of your eyes on your home back home.
The third one was a picnic. Jungkook had been adamant at showing off his cooking skills and he definitely lived up to his gloating as he’d prepared several simple snacks that had you groaning at the tasteful bites. And as all picnic dates ended, you laid on your blanket and stargazed, you just had to do it. You ruined the moment, however, when you pointed out that a group of stars kind of resembled a pair of boobs. That had him rolling around in blanket in laughter as you giggled along.
The fourth one was a bit more interesting. You were scrolling around on Instagram when you see that there was a free cooking class in a few days. Your eyes lit up and you immediately sent a screenshot to him, asking if he was up for it, and he agreed. The whole class turned out to be old married couples and newly weds, and the class was supposedly for married couples only. You had to hold in your laughter as Jungkook explained to the sweet old woman who was teaching the class that the two of you had eloped after your parents disapproved of your relationship, and were currently traveling around aimlessly with no permanent home. After a few aws and cheek pinches, you began to learn how to make Baked Dijon Salmon.
The fifth one you went mini-golfing, where your competitive streak came out once again. However, this time, you won the bet. You managed to make him pose with his butt perked up, holding up a peace sign whilst puckering his lips for a photo that you posted on Instagram with the caption ‘Girls night out’.
The sixth one was your favorite. In one of those previous dates, he’d managed to tell you tons about his earlier life and childhood, and somewhere along those lines, he’d mentioned his favorite diner that was near his hometown. He showed you pictures of him there with his friends and family. And he decided he wanted to take you there because apparently, the burgers there were the best he’d ever had. It took you a while to get there but it was definitely worth the ride.
The old lady that worked there had known Jungkook since he was a child, and you felt your heart melt when he encased her in his arms in a soft hug as she cooed at him. She hugged you as well because ‘any friend of Jugkook’s was just like one of her children as well’.
You sat on the same side of the booth, and you spent the night eating, laughing, teasing, and glancing shyly at each other out of the corners of your eyes. And what made it better was that it all ended with a kiss. It was soft and mellow, just like him. He brushed your hair with his fingers as his lips moved at a slow pace against yours while your hands rested on his firm chest, feeling his heartbeat.
That was the first kiss of many.
The dates - well, any meet ups actually - that followed those were full of kisses that had you growing more and more attached to the boy. He’d made it a habit of pecking your lips softly as soon as you were in arms reach, quickly grabbing your arms and pulling you into his embrace. It was quite frustrating as well because you were shorter than him and didn’t get to do the same to him. Not that it was hard to convince him to kiss you.
You were currently walking hand in hand, back from the library to the dorms after several hours of trying to study with Jungkook, ‘trying’ being the keyword here. You ended up wasting about two hours in there just whispering to each other and giggling, sitting in a table all the way at the corner so you could sneak in a few pecks and kisses without getting glared at by the librarian.
“Do you wanna hang out at my room for a bit?” He grabbed your hand and asked just as you were about to make the turn to the hallway for your room. You felt a small smile grace your lips and your heart leap at the thought of spending alone time with him, in his room for the very first time. But then you remembered that his roommate is probably gonna be there, and your smile faltered a bit. As if he’d read your mind, he spoke again.
“Don’t worry, my roommate’s sleeping at his girlfriend’s tonight so it’ll be just us.”
At that, you smiled and nodded before allowing him to lead the way.
“Here, you can wear these. I’m pretty sure those jeans aren’t the most comfortable thing to cuddle in.” He threw you a pair of clean boxers that would definitely fit like shorts on you with one of his over-sized t-shirts. You gave him a grateful smile because you truly did feel suffocated because of those skinny jeans after being stuck in them all day. You grabbed them and went into the bathroom to change, mentally clapping yourself on the back for convincing yourself to shave during your morning shower today.
“Hey, what do you wanna watch? I have some-” He was speaking to you through the door and you cut him off as you swung it open after being finished. He looked down at you, your body absolutely drowned in his shirt and boxers, managing to look completely adorable yet completely sexy at the same time. He swallowed visibly but then smiled to cover up, before pinching your cheeks.
“You look adorable,” he chuckled. You huffed and swatted at his hands as your cheeks reddened. But he only chuckled more and leaned down to peck the corner of your lips. “Come on, you pick something to watch and I’ll order us something to eat.”
You climbed onto the bed and grabbed the laptop, opening google to look up something to watch. But your eyes couldn’t help but wander over to him as he stood there, in a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt identical to yours, his eyes fixed on the phone as he searched for something with a concentrated look on his face. You were completely entranced with him and you thought you were in some sort of dream, sitting here on his bed and waiting for him to join you. He seemed too good to be true. He was kindhearted, sweet, funny, dorky even, handsome, sexy, it was all wrapped up in one. Your eyes were glued to him and if they hadn’t reached his lips to see them moving, you wouldn’t have known he was talking to you.
“__?” He asked again, a knowing smirk slowly creeping across his lips.
“Huh?” You mumbled, blinking a few times before looking at his eyes properly, and you could surely feel your face burn as you’d just been caught ogling at him.
“I asked you what you wanted to eat,” he chuckled.
“Pizza’s fine,” you answered and cleared your throat before quickly looking away and busying yourself with 2017′s top ten movies list. You tried not to let your eyes wander over to him again as he looked up the number and pressed the phone to his ear, but you couldn’t help but steal small glances at him every few seconds, and every time he caught you his smile would widen.
You snapped your eyes back the laptop as he ended the call after placing the order, and he walked over to the bed and sat next to you. He scooted so he was practically stuck to your side and placed his chin on your shoulder to look at the screen with you, simultaneously wrapping his arms around your waist.
“Anything good?” He mumbled, and his voice was right next to your ear, his breath hitting your skin immediately. You sighed and shook your head no, not trusting your voice at the very moment. You continued to scroll through movies, occasionally stopping at one and reading the description but moving on after figuring out it wasn’t worth it.
“Come on, just pick anything,” he whined, and if he didn’t sound so adorable, you would’ve elbowed him in the stomach.
“They all suck, though,” you groaned and he only giggled and tightened his arms around you. You smiled and involuntarily scooted closer to him, enjoying the feeling of his body against yours and his scent that overwhelmed you, both from himself and his clothes that you were wearing.
He turned his head to bury his face in your hair, humming in contempt. “You smell nice,” he mumbled before lifting one hand and moving your hair away to reach your skin and nuzzle into the crook of your neck. Goosebumps erupted on your skin at the intimate action and you unconsciously tilted your head a bit for him when he placed a soft kiss to your skin.
You sighed when he continued placing kisses, getting hotter and hotter with each passing second as his kisses got harder. Your eyes fluttered shut when his lips parted slightly and you felt the warmth of his mouth envelope a spot on your neck. One of your hands lifted without you realizing it and grabbed his hair softly, running through the smooth strands when he actually began sucking and nibbling at the spot he’d chosen to his liking.
“Kookie..” You meant to grab his attention but it barely came out as a hazy sigh and he only hummed against your skin before pulling away slowly. But he clearly wasn’t planning on stopping as he dove one of his hands into your hair and angled your head towards his before connecting your lips.
You hummed against his lips, enjoying the sudden displays of affection, slowly turning your body so you could get more comfortable. He started leaning back, breaking the kiss to lean against the headboard and pull you onto him. However, as you tried to balance yourself on your hand as you climbed over him, you had no idea how your foot managed to slip on the covers and it had you tumbling on top of him. You laid against his chest and groaned in embarrassment as you felt his chest vibrate with laughter beneath you.
“Have I told you how adorable you are?” He laughed and patted your waist as a signal for you to sit up properly and look at him, which you did with a glare.
“Only about a million times now,” you crossed your arms at him.
“Well, you are,” he raised a brow and uncrossed your arms before pulling you forward and placing your arms around his neck. “Come’ere..”
Your lips were on his once again and you weren’t planning on embarrassing yourself this time as this one seemed much more heated than the one before with the way his tongue roamed your mouth freely. His hands alternated between your back and waist, moving around and tracing your upper body and scrunching up the material of your shirt, before they finally managed to slip beneath it and found their way to your bare waist and gripped it firmly.
Your hands once again dug into his hair and tugged on it, causing him to tighten his hold on you and bring you closer to him so that your torsos were pressed firmly against each other. His hand slowly traveled up your bare back before splaying out against it, holding you firmly to him as he suddenly flipped the two of you over so that he was on top.
With all the sudden movements, you barely noticed how both the shirt and boxers had ridden up your body and exposed a lot more skin, but you honestly couldn’t care less as Jungkook was kissing your breath away, your breaths mingling and your hands getting braver as you explored each other’s bodies further. You wrapped your legs around his waist because it was too tempting not to with the way his hips fit so snugly between them.
One of his hands trailed up to your hair and grabbed with just the right amount of force as his teeth bit into your bottom lip, before he sensually sucked it into his mouth. You couldn’t help but whimper at that, tightening your legs around his waist and digging your fingers into his back. You remembered that your hands also had to be put to use and trailed them down his back before you slipped them beneath his shirt, running your nails and fingertips and enjoying the movement of his muscles beneath your hands.
He pulled away from your mouth and you definitely caught the smirk on his lips at the whimper you gave out, but it was quickly hidden when he once again buried his face in the crook of your neck. He placed several kisses there before he trailed down to your collarbone which was easily exposed because of the ‘V’ of his shirt, and decided to focus his attention on there.
“Jungkook,” you moaned for the first time when he sucked on a particular spot. He dropped his head onto your collarbone before groaning lowly against you, his hot panting breath practically burning through the material of your shirt. Then he suddenly looked up at you and made his way back to your lips, kissing you vigorously like there was no tomorrow, before he broke away and looked at you through eyes searing with lust.
“Let me take care of you,” he whispered, placing a kiss to your lips. “We don’t have to go all the way, just-” Another kiss. “Just let me make you feel good, baby..”
It was either the pet name, his words, the look he was giving you, or the wet spot that had formed on your panties as soon as his lips touched yours, but it didn’t take even half a second for you to nod in consent.
In mere minutes, the boxers you were wearing had been thrown across the room forgotten, your shirt now all the way up to expose your bare breasts after your bra had also been discarded somewhere along the line. Your panting, whimpering, moaning, the sound of Jungkook’s mouth moving against your heat, with the occasional groans that left his lips as well were the only sounds filling the room.
“Ah,” you cried out, trying to buck your hips up but he wrapped his hands around your thighs and hips to keep you still. “Fuckkk, Jungkook.”
You dared to open your eyes and look down at him, only to find that the sight was just too erotic for you and it had you whimpering. His eyes were looking up at you, watching closely for each and every movement of yours. His skin was slightly sweaty as strands of his stuck to his face, and you were pretty sure yours was the same case. The sight was ripped away from you, however, when your head rolled back against the pillow with a loud moan as he sucked harshly on your clit.
“Fuck, yes please,” you cried out, your hand seeking out something to hold onto before you felt one of his hands leave your hips to intertwine with yours. Despite the erotic situation, you found your heart fluttering at the sweet gesture, but you didn’t have much time to think about it as his other hand traveled up your body and gripped one of your breasts in his large palm, squeezing it harshly.
“God, you’re so good.” You didn’t even know what was spewing out of your mouth as he gave you the freedom of bucking your hips against his mouth, immediately intensifying the pleasure.
“Come on, baby,” he spoke against you. “I want you to come in my mouth.”
With only a handful more encouraging words from him, your eyes squeezed shut and your mouth hung open in a silent scream with your peak, only muttering a single whimper of his name. Your panting could still be heard as he cleaned you up before grabbing his boxers and pulling them up your legs.
Your eyes slid open when he brought your shirt back down and laid down beside you, propping himself up on his elbow so that his face was right above yours.
“Hey,” he mumbled with a smile to which you returned.
“Hey,” you muttered sleepily. He chuckled and leaned down to kiss you softly, and you almost melted into the mattress with sweetness.
“Sleep, baby,” he planted a kiss on your forehead and laid down properly next to you, and you turned so you could entangle your body with his. “Goodnight.”
Ever since the first time Jungkook went down on you, he’d been insatiable. It was like he couldn’t get enough, pushing you down and getting whatever piece of clothing you’d been wearing out of the way before diving in.
Currently in the same position you’ve been in more than a handful of times these past couple of days, panting and whimpering in sensitivity as you came down from your second high, pushing Jungkook’s head away as you could take no more.
“Come’ere,” you mumbled lazily, pulling him up so you could reach his lips and kiss him deeply before pulling away and resting your head against the pillow beneath you. He flopped down next to you, getting ready to cuddle up to you but you placed a hand on his chest to stop him before he could.
“What’s wrong?” He asked, eyes glancing at you worriedly, but you only shook your head at him and pushed him so he was laying flat on his back and quickly straddled him.
“Nothing, I just think it’s about time that I do something for you for a change,” you said and leaned down to kiss him slowly before breaking away and making your way down his body.
“Baby, you really don’t have to..” His words trailed off as you unbuttoned his shirt and kissed every inch of exposed skin with each button you undid.
“Shh, I want to,” you said against his skin after finally undoing the last button, completely exposing his toned torso to your hungry eyes. You looked up to find him giving you the same look, his lips caught beneath his teeth as he anticipated your touch. You maintained eye contact as your fingers found their way to the button of his jeans, popping it open and slowly sliding down the zipper.
His breath was getting heavier by the second, and he groaned lowly as he helped you pull his jeans down. You were sure it looked like your mouth was watering at the sight of him so big in his boxers, the see through material doing absolutely nothing in hiding his hardness. You threw his jeans away and leaned down to place a kiss on his length through the the cloth, causing him to huff out a sigh.
You honestly didn’t have the patience to tease, nor did you think he did, so you looped your fingers at the hem of his boxers and pulled them down. A moan almost made its way past your lips at the sight of him, hard and ready, and you felt pride swell in your chest at the thought of him getting this hard because of eating you out.
You didn’t waste anymore time and grabbed the base of his cock, angling it to place your lips on the head, mouthing at it and flicking your tongue, barely making any sucking motions at first.
“__,” he sighed out your name and you kicked it up a notch, slowly taking a bit of him in your mouth before moving back up, running your tongue flat along the underside of him along the way. You repeated the process, slowly but surely getting used to the feeling and building up your pace, until you eventually started taking more and more of him with each bob of your head.
“Fuck,” he groaned out as you sucked harshly on your way up once, and you felt his hand on the back of your hair, gripping your hair in a tight hold, not pushing or pulling, just something to grab onto. His heavy breathing sounded throughout the room. His thighs were tensing beneath your hands. You moved your gaze up to him, and the sight only made you moan whimper against him.
His head thrown back with his neck and throat completely exposed, the sweat covering his skin making each and every bone of his stand out even more and you could swear it looked like he was carved by Greek god, unless he weren’t one himself. His sweaty chest was moving up and down rapidly with each heavy breath and his stomach was clenching, his abs just begging you to let go of his cock and put your mouth on them instead.
“Fuck, __,” he moaned out. God it was the sexiest thing you’d ever heard. “Feels so good..” His grip on your hair tightened, and it only made you wetter. You fingernails dug into his thighs, unable to control yourself and the only thing you could do was increase your pace and taking more of him into your mouth.
“Yes. Oh fuck, I’m gonna come,” he groaned out and subtly bucked his hips up into your mouth. You hummed against him with encouragement, more than eager to have him come in your mouth.
“Ah, __..” With one last groan of your name, he pulled on your hair to signal that he was coming. You pulled away and placed the head on your lips as you stroked him through his orgasm, feeling his warmth fill your mouth. He looked down at you with hazy eyes for a few seconds as you swallowed before licking his head one last time, and he dropped his head back onto the pillow in exhaustion.
You pulled his boxers back up his legs and tucked him in before climbing back up his body and laying against him. He immediately wrapped his arms around you waist and you rested your head in the crook of his neck, placing feathery kisses there every few seconds.
“Didn’t expect you to be the swallowing type,” he spoke all of a sudden.
You gasped and tried to sit up but he wouldn’t allow it, trapping you on his chest with his arms as he laughed loudly. You groaned and smacked his chest with your palm as much as you could with your body squished against his.
“Way to ruin the moment, asshole.”
“You said you weren’t gonna drag me to anymore Parties, Jungkook,” you groaned out as he lead you into the crowded house with his arm around your shoulder.
“I said I’ll try not to drag you to anymore parties, baby. And I am,” he looked down at you with an innocent smile. “It just hasn’t worked yet.”
“Screw you, okay.”
You both walked further into the house until you spotted his usual group of friends and made your way over to them, and they immediately yelled out their greetings to you.
“Kookie! __! You’re heeereee,” Jimin drawled out as he got up and stumbled his way over to you, clearly more than buzzed on drinks already. He separated you and stood between the two of you, placing an arm over each of your shoulders, looking back and forth between the two of you. If it were any other guy, you would’ve pushed him off by now, but it was Jimin and you were pretty much used to his antics after hanging out with him so many times with Jungkook.
“You know,” he started to say, an evil glint in his eyes. “My room is right next to Kookie’s..”
“Yeah, we both know that Jimin,” you said, unsure where he was going with this.
“And I’m more than sure that you two know how incredibly thin the walls are in our building,” he continued.
It took you a few seconds to run over the words he’d said before you felt a light bulb go off in your head and you felt your face go red in record time. You groaned and pushed his arm away before covering your face, but you heard him mutter an ‘ow’ through a giggle and you were pretty sure Jungkook smacked the back of his head.
In a second you felt Jungkook’s arm wrap around you once again and you buried yourself in his embrace, feeling safer now. You looked up at Jimin who was still looking at you both triumphantly, and you just couldn’t help but say those words to show that you weren’t a shy girl that was ashamed of her escapades with her actual boyfriend.
“Well, in case you don’t know, that’s just a preview. You wouldn’t wanna be in your room for the full show,” you smiled innocently and leaned further into Jungkook. Jimin’s eyes widened in both surprise and amusement before he laughed as well.
“I guess I shouldn’t.”
You later found yourselves sat on a love seat. Well, Jungkook was sat on the seat, you were on his lap, all cuddled up and in your own world as the others laughed, talked and danced around you. He held a beer in one hand, occasionally taking sips, and the other rested beneath your shirt, on your hip, his thumb rubbing soothing circles on your skin.
You looked up at him as he laughed with everyone at a joke that Hoseok just said, and you felt yourself smile involuntarily. He felt you looking at him and brought his gaze to yours, smiling cutely at you. He leaned in a pressed a quick kiss to your lips.
You both stared at each other for a few seconds, exchanging unspoken words before he decided to speak up. “Wanna get out of here?”
You nodded and got up.
You weren’t exactly planning to end the night like this, but what was supposed to be just a goodnight kisses had him leading you back to his room and pressing you against the door before he even opened it.
You kissed like two couldn’t get enough of each other, panting into each other’s mouths, out of breath but unwilling to break apart.
He placed his hands on your thighs on you immediately jumped up and wrapped them around his waist. He pinned you against the door with a thud and you moaned against his lips in wanton.
“Just go inside the room before you fuck here like animals.”
You broke apart with a gasp to see Yoongi walking to his room, barely sparing you a glance on his way. You barely managed to giggle at that before Jungkook swung open his door and stumbled in the room. He kicked it shut with his foot and immediately made his way over to his bed, thanking God that his roommate was almost always stuck up his girlfriend’s ass and he had the room to himself for the night.
He dropped you on the bed and climbed on top of you with that hungry look in his eyes that you never tired of, before connecting your lips once again.
You couldn’t even waste time on foreplay, you’d done that warm up way too many times and it took a fucking ton of self control not to just fuck each other senseless from the first time. But something told you both to wait, to take it just a bit slower than usual because the wait always made it so much better. And it did.
There was no waiting anymore though, both of your clothes were off in record time and your bodies were tangled together, not even an inch of space separating you two. The feeling of his body against yours was near euphoric, with every bit of bare skin rubbing against yours, his hands roaming yours in return, groping and squeezing freely to put each and every body part of yours to memory. To know how each touch could make you moan and whimper and sigh.
“Jungkook..” Your cry of his name was desperate, almost choked, as he entered you in one swift motion. Your head dropped back, your back arching and your chest pressing flush against his. Nails running down his back as he found his pace, slowly thrusting his hips as his heavy breaths hit your skin and gave you shivers.
Your sweaty palms gripped at the sheets, almost ripping them with the force of your hold, and he grabbed one of them in his to pin it against the bed and intertwined your fingers together against the mattress as he sped up his thrusts.
“Fuck, you feel so good,” he groaned and dropped his forehead on your collarbone, his mouth pressing wet kisses to the valley between your breasts. Your other hand dug into his hair and you unconsciously scraped his scalp with your nails.
His other hand gripped your thigh and hoisted it up his waist, causing you to tighten your legs around his and bring him deeper into you.
“Yes! Fuck yes,” you cried out when he started going deeper, using more force than before to bring you the maximum amount of pleasure he could. “Right there, Jungkook..”
His name came out in a whimper, and the growl he let out in response was almost animalistic as he sped up his thrusts. He lifted his head and his torso before resting his elbows on either side of your head to support his body, gaining leverage to snap his hips harder against yours. His lip was caught beneath his teeth in concentration, and the sight of him above you almost brought tears of pleasure to your eyes.
Jeon Jungkook was a fucking sight for sore eyes.
Sweaty strands of hair stuck to his forehead. Eyes fluttering open and shut with that blissful expression gracing his features. Lips parting to let out the most erotic, sexiest noises you’d ever heard from a man before.
You wrapped your arms around his torso and dragged your fingers down his sweaty back, appreciating the feeling of his muscles moving and tensing beneath your fingertips. And then you did something you wanted to do ever since the first time you caught sight of his cute little behind. You dragged your hands down and gripped his ass, squeezing slightly and pushing him to go harder.
He wobbled a bit on his elbows at the sudden action, letting out a short out-of-breath laugh and leaning down to kiss you before going on, and you couldn’t help the smile on your lips despite the situation your were in. And that only showed you how comfortable you could be with Jungkook no matter what.
His hand traveled between your bodies, seeking out the most sensitive part of your body. The smile faltered from your lips when he found it and immediately started rubbing in tight circles, and he had you clenching your thighs around his hips in blinding pleasure.
“Jungkook! Oh god, please,” you cried out. “I’m so close..”
“Me too baby, come on.” He grunted, somehow managing to increase his pace.
You brought one hand to the back of his neck and pulled him into a heated sloppy kiss that consisted of you two moaning and breathing into each other’s mouths.
“I’m there, I’m there..” You whimpered. “Fuck, Jungkook!” With one last, loud moan of his name, you came, clenching around him.
“Ah fuck, __!” He moaned loudly, dropping his head in the crook of your neck to hide his moans, but you heard them loud and clear as you felt his warmth fill you, your eyes rolling back at the blissful feeling you’d been craving for so long.
You stayed that way for a few seconds before he pulled out of you, grabbing a shirt that was thrown beside his bed to clean you up before throwing it away laying down beside you. He didn’t even have to usher you over to cuddle into him, and he wrapped the covers around you with his arms around you.
He placed a soft kiss to your forehead and you looked up at him to find him already staring at you. And you didn’t even need to exchange words to know that you both felt happy and contempt about this, and you both new it wasn’t ending anytime soon.
The history of LGBT+ activism is a long and storied one, but many of those stories have been erased or forgotten. In honor of the month of Pride and all the courageous activists who came before us, here are some of them:
The Activism of Dr. Magnus Hirschfeld
Magnus Hirschfeld, who was himself gay, led a movement to decriminalize and understand homosexuality in pre WWII Germany that was highly successful given the time in which it took place. In 1897 he founded the Scientific Humanitarian Committee to study and demystify homosexuality, believing that through scientific examination hostility towards gay men and women could be reduced. In 1898 his committee presented 5000 signatures of prominent Germans to the Reichstag in favor of overturning discriminatory laws against homosexuality. The bill didn’t pass, but Hirschfeld was only beginning. In 1910 he coined the term ‘transvestite’, the very first term for what we now know as transgender people, and even - remarkably - suggested that gender might be a spectrum. In 1919 he opened his Institute for Sexual Research, a clinic created for studying and caring for sexual or gender minorities. The famous Lili Elbe (as in The Danish Girl) received treatment at his clinic.
The clinic was wildly ahead of its time. Hirschfeld not only pioneered gender confirmation surgery through the work of Dr. Ludwig Levy-Lenz but he convinced the police - the police! - to issue a special permit to trans women so that they could travel freely in their own clothing without being harassed or arrested.
As a gay Jewish man who fought for the rights of gay and trans people, it’s not a surprise that Hirschfeld was a favorite target of the Nazis. In 1933 his Institute was raided and his research burned, setting back queer liberation for god knows how long. He fled to France, where he lived out the rest of his life.
The Mattachine Society and the Daughters of Bilitis
The Mattachine society, founded in 1950, was the first ‘homophile’ (gay rights) organization in the United States. Founded by Harry Hay in Los Angeles, the society had itself likely been inspired by knowledge of Hirschfeld’s work and proposed to improve the condition of the lives of gay men in America. The group adopted the cell style organization favored by Communist groups and soon there were chapters all around the country. When member Dale Jennings got arrested for ‘lewd behavior’ he decided to fight the charges with the support of the Society, who generated publicity and sympathy around the case. The jury deadlocked, the charges were dropped and the Mattachine society declared victory.
The Daughters of Bilitis (1955) was originally concieved as an alternative to the lesbian bar scene but quickly politicized. They provided support and education for lesbians who wanted to learn more about their orientation, as well as launching a magazine that was the first nationally distributed lesbian publication called The Ladder in 1956. In 1960 they even held a national convention.
The Activism of Frank Kameny
In 1957 Frank Kameny was caught up in the “lavender scare”, a purge of homosexuals from US Government departments, and lost his job. But Kameny was a fighter, and he didn’t take it lying down. He devoted himself to activism.
Refusing to be bullied or made ashamed of his orientation, Kameny not only founded the Washington D.C. chapter of the Mattachine society but launched what was one of the earliest LGBT picket lines in history when he and ten other activists picketed the White House in 1965 carrying a sign that said “Gay is Good”, his favored slogan. In 1963 he launched the campaign to decriminalize homosexuality in D.C. and personally drafted the bill that finally passed in 1993.
The Compton’s Cafeteria Riot
The first transgender-led riot against the police took place not at Stonewall, but at Compton’s Cafeteria in the Tenderlion district of San Francisco.
Compton’s Cafeteria was a restaurant that had become a meeting place for transgender people, as they weren’t welcome in many gay bars at the time. In the early 1960′s, the staff at the Cafeteria began calling the police on their trans customers, leading to arrests and raids and harassment. Things came to a head when a police officer attempted to arrest one of the trans women who was patronizing the restaurant, and she threw her coffee in his face. Furniture was thrown, windows were smashed, and the fighting spilled out into the street. A police cruiser had all its windows smashed out and a newsstand was burned down.
The next night trans women and other LGBT supporters formed a picket line outside the Cafeteria to protest their treatment. During the demonstration the windows of the Cafeteria were once again shattered. Many of the activists were members of Vanguard, an early organization for LGBT youth.
Hello, it’s #optomstudies here again with another Sunday Study Tip on catching up when you’ve fallen behind!
A masterful skill that not even the best studyblrs may have tackled. A lot of advice in the studyblr community regarding this seems a little airy-fairy (I almost question if they remember what they themselves went through), so hopefully my post will shine a different light on it (or so I hope anyway!)
1. Work out what’s essential and what isn’t. You’ve basically wasted time right to get to this point right? With limited time left, use an Eisenhower matrix of Important vs. Urgent to determine what you need to do left.
Important and Urgent - any and all due assessment tasks
Important but Not Urgent - studying lectures for exams, compulsory readings
Not Important but Urgent - additional homework tasks that need to be handed in but aren’t worth much, like logbooks
Not Important and Not Urgent - additional readings (although it’d be great if you did this, sorry, you’re out of time)
Then cross out everything that you can afford to not do. Ironically, I find that when I use the Eisenhower matrix when I am not strapped for time, studying (in the Important but Not Urgent category) usually gets the short end of the stick. But when I’m already falling behind, all the additional readings and homework tasks get thrown out the window and I just work on studying instead.
2. Do everything that will take you less than 10 minutes to complete. Get all those pesky emails out of the way, all the small team meeting notes, everything else you need to do for someone else. That will cross out a whole chunk of things from your list. You’ll be left with the meaty stuff like studying, completing assignments, etc.
3. It’s a little damn late for you to regularly revise, so just binge everything. Honestly, this is the best way to get everything done. Don’t switch tasks or subjects. You don’t want to spend about 20 minutes just getting into the flow before switching subjects once the hour’s up. Plus, since you’re already panicking, turn that fear and panic into motivation for you to really focus for long chunks of time - just think about what you do the day before a final exam - because the threat of the exam is imminent, you basically study the whole day right? Trust me, if you’ve really screwed up your study schedule, you won’t have to worry about common procrastination (assuming you don’t want to fail).
University is just one assignment done, moving onto the next before you even have time to breathe. It’s usually quite different to high school in that everything is quite closely packed together since it’s a 13 week semester. In high school I thought that 3 assessments in a week was the end of the world (lol pls kid).
So just do whatever needs to be done first, and then if you finish before the day the assignment/exam is done, then great, you can study for the next assessment task.
Still, I do recommend chucking your phone out the window just in case, since people usually all study last minute, meaning they’ll be asking you “hey do you know wtf Prof was talking about in lec 5?″
4. Break up your courses into hour-long chunks. Although we’re bingeing, it’s important that you make a list, even if it just says “Lecture 1, Lecture 2, Lecture 3″ so that you have a direction to go. Don’t allocate too much time for any one lecture, but at the same time, be realistic about how much you can cover in an hour. For example, if you’ve got 6 hours until an exam, you’re either going to study Lectures 1-3 really well, Lectures 1-6 so-so, and Lectures 1-10 superficially.
So choose wisely based on what you know or don’t know. If there’s a topic you know quite poorly, consider if it’s worth the time to study and learn the concept, or just bank on the subject not showing up in your exam. I’m actually pretty poor at gambling what will be in the exam, so I always choose to just study everything at a basic level.
A common pitfall I find in this area is skipping the basic stuff. You think you know it, but when you close your book and try writing it out on a blank piece of paper, you suddenly falter. This has happened to me repeatedly in an exam. I know all the really complex stuff like the back of my hand before I get into the examination room, and then I suddenly get a really simple question and I’m like wait, what was the answer again? I advise making lecture outlines that you just rote learn - this comes in useful for long response questions because you’ll often remember the small details, but will forget the next section, meaning you miss out on a massive chunk of information if you forget.
5. Rinse and repeat. Usually after about 2 weeks(?) of catching up like this I finally see the light of day and I can return to my normal schedule. If need be, I usually cut back on sleep to about 6 hours vs. 7.5 hours, but never pull an all nighter. You cannot do this unless you have breathing room the next day (which you won’t because you screwed up in the first place). Unless it is the very last assessment task, there’s a massive risk of ruining your next exam.
6. Try and never do that last minute ditch again.
Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it. - George Santayana.
Never again right? Remember that starting early and finishing early is the key to good grades. We’re all just young uni students at the end of the day though, so do remember to forgive yourself if you end up repeating the procrastination. I’ll be cheering you all on!
MY WEEKLY STUDY TIPS
WHAT I WISH I’D KNOWN BEFORE UNIVERSITY STUDY TIPS SERIES
It’s hard being a teenager. It’s hard being a teenager and at a new school. It’s hard being a teenager, at a new school and also gay. It’s hard being a teenager, at a new school, gay and a mutant. It’s hard being a teenager, at a new school, gay, a mutant and who has no idea that he’s meant to be the world’s next super hero. It seems like Louis has a lot of catching up to do.
Harry Styles is a clumsy, flower crown-wearing, openly gay junior with only two true friends, Niall and Zayn. Louis Tomlinson is the school’s attractive, straight football captain, with a small body and a big personality. As fate will have it, Harry has a huge, unrequited, utterly hopeless crush on Louis. Fate is thrown out the window the day that Harry and Louis find themselves partnered up for a history project. Harry starts to receive notes from a secret admirer, Louis starts to get jealous of Harry’s budding friendship with senior Nick Grimshaw, Zayn and Liam develop a thing for each other, and Niall is the best mate anyone could have asked for. And suddenly, Harry’s crush on Louis doesn’t seem so utterly hopeless anymore.
AU where Louis Tomlinson is a principal dancer with The Royal Ballet. When his rival from ballet school, moody dance prodigy Harry Styles joins the company, old wounds are reopened and old passions reignited. During the company’s production of Swan Lake the secret that doomed their love is finally revealed, but will it be too late?
English Professor Louis Tomlinson’s passion for the occult has been a source of mockery and derision for most of his life. When he hears whispers of a travelling freak show newly established in London claiming the existence of a monstrous sea hybrid, half-man, half-fish, Louis sees it as his ticket to credibility amongst his peers. The summer he spends undercover working on the show, however, gives him much more than that.
I hope you enjoy them as much as I did - Happy Reading! :)
You’re tired of being alone for years without a boyfriend so you propose a deal to Jimin.
word count: 5.2k
tags: smut for days, fluff(in later chapters), angst(in later chapters), badboy!Jimin, collegeAU!Jimin
Your heart would’ve jumped right out of your chest if not for your ribs that confined them because your heart was beating so fast. As you walked down the steps with stiff legs, your eyes were settled on the man who sat just a few rows ahead of you. You took in the his outfit–a simple over-sized black hoodie and ripped denim jeans. He was shoving his belongings inside of his black backpack as you approached him.
BTS Reactions To You Accidentally Giving Them A Boner
You weren’t very fond of people waking you up. Seokjin unfortunately learned this the hard way when he had done it accidentally only to have to face your wrath. However, he had learned with time and progression through your relationship, that there was a way to get you to wake up happy.
He had begun his work in the kitchen when the smell of delicious food sprung you to consciousness. You were practically drooling as you made your way to the kitchen in nothing but Seokjin’s shirt and a flimsy pair of underwear.
“Good morning Jagi,” he cooed as he heard your approaching steps.
“What are you making?” You asked excitedly as you spotted him.
He looked back and was just about to answer when he finally turned to look at you. He could feel himself growing hard as his gaze was suddenly drawn to your exposed legs. The sight of you in just his shirt was irresistible but Seokjin being the gentleman he was, waited until after you ate before making a move.
You had just begun to wash the dishes when he suddenly reached over you to shut the tap off. He pressed his body behind yours and held you close to him as he whispered into your ear, “I want dessert Jagiya.”
“O-oh yeah? What did you want to eat?” You stuttered as you became aware of his growing bulge pressed against your ass.
“You,” he breathed before he turned you around and rid you of his shirt. His hands quickly coming into contact with your exposed skin.
In Yoongi’s eyes you were always attractive. However, it was moments like these; when he saw your eyes burning with passion, that he found you to be absolutely breathtaking.
Your hands typed furiously against the keyboard, in a rush to get all your ideas for your next article down. You scrunched your eyebrows together and unconsciously bit your lip in concentration, absolutely driving Yoongi insane.
He didn’t realize how big of turn on this side was of you until he felt a stir in his pants. Fuck.
“Are you almost done?” He asked from where he was lying on the bed, his voice a bit hoarse.
“Mhm,” was your only answer as you continued to type away.
Yoongi bit the inside of his cheek, willing his body to calm down. Now was not the time…but he couldn’t help himself. Before he knew it he found his way behind your chair.
Your eyes shot wide open the second you felt his lips against your neck.
“Yoon-yoongi what are you doing?” You asked a bit breathlessly, as he had instantly gone for the spot you were the most sensitive.
“Can’t you take a break baby?” He whispered hotly against your ear.
“Like this?” You asked Hoseok hesitantly.
You were beyond nervous. Hoseok was naturally good at dancing, but you on the other hand, could hardly walk without tripping. Which is why you hadn’t understood why Hoseok had asked you to help him practice the dance duet he had been working hard on choreographing.
“Your body seems a bit stiff Jagiya,” he pointed out and you felt yourself deflate just a little.
“I’m sorry Hoseok. I don’t think I’m the best person to help you with this,” you sighed a tad bit defeated.
“Of course you are Jagiya! Don’t give up,” he encouraged with a bright smile, “just relax.”
You were curious as to what he was up to as he walked closer towards you and grabbed you by the waist.
“Okay let’s practice another part,” he suggested, “let my body lead yours ok?”
Within seconds he had your bodies blended against one another and he had yours moving to the speed of his. Just as he turned your body, so you’d be facing him, he felt himself stir.
He usually was pretty good at controlling himself but the sight of your sweaty body against his in the mirrors reflection, must’ve played quite a number on him. He couldn’t help it as he leaned closer towards you and drew you into a passionate kiss, completely stealing your breath away.
You were breathless as you pulled away and looked up at him a bit amused by the sudden attack of his lips, “uh-is that apart of the choreo?”
“Just between you and I,” was all he said before he leaned in to kiss you again, a bit more rougher and messier this time.
Namjoon bit on his bottom lip as he stared at you intently from where he was seated. He couldn’t believe how easily you had managed to excite him. You hadn’t even intentionally done it. You had come over with the intention of watching a movie with him when you suddenly helped yourself to a banana.
At the sight of your lips encircling the banana, any thoughts in Namjoon’s mind of a fluffy movie night was thrown out the window.
“Namjoon?” You tilted your head in curiosity as you caught on to his intense stare.
Namjoon cleared his throat, a poor attempt at trying to calm himself down. It was too late, the desire to feel your body against him was too strong.
“Are you done with that banana?” He asked, and you noticed that his voice was more hoarse than usual.
You looked at him, confused by the question, “…yes? Why?”
His eyes darkened as he gave you a small smirk, “because I’d rather have your lips wrapped around something else.”
It didn’t take much time for you to understand what he meant by that, Namjoon didn’t even really give you much time to think either. Before you knew it, he had you pinned under him on the couch.
Jimin quietly cursed himself. Why had he thought that it’d be a good idea to have you sit on his lap?
He loved keeping you close but right now, he seriously regretted his decision. Especially since all the other members were gathered in the dorm’s living room with the two of you. You were just trying to get comfortable, but your constant movement had him getting hard, fast. The swelling of his dick was out of his control.
Your eyes widened the second you felt his bulge pressed up right against your ass. You turned around and sent him a questioningly glance.
“It’s because you keep moving,” he whispered, trying hard not be heard by the other members.
“Sorry,” you apologized, but you couldn’t help but feel a bit amused by the situation. Especially, when you saw Jimin close his eyes as he concentrated on calming himself down.
A sudden playfulness washed over you as you intentionally moved your ass a certain way against his bulge. You let a small smile grace your lips as you heard him release a soft hiss.
“Are you okay?” You asked feigning innocence and that was the last straw for him.
Before you knew it, Jimin had excused you both before leading you to his room only to have him press you up against a wall the second the door was closed.
“Stay still,” you giggled as you pushed Taehyung down on the bed and crawled on top of him, straddling him.
“Uh Jagiya, what are you doing?” He muttered as a flush began to bloom across his cheeks.
You couldn’t help but laugh, “don’t get all excited now.”
“I’m not,” he lied. He could already feel himself stirring in his pants, this was the affect you had on him.
“Taehyung look at me,” you smiled, “I want to see your eyes.”
“My eyes?” He asked confused, but turned to look at you anyways. His excitment only growing at your close proximity.
You nodded your head and leaned down so there was only a few inches between your lips and he contemplated kissing you.
The second you saw the speck you had been searching for you grinned fondly, “ahh there it is! I love the mole under your eye so much.”
Satisfied, you moved to get off his lap but Taehyung flipped your bodies instead so you were the one under him.
“I told you not to get excited Tae,” you jokingly chastised.
“It’s a little too late for that…because of you I have a big problem now. it’s only fair that you help me with it,” he smirked as he licked his lips, the shyness from a few seconds ago completely gone.
You let out a small laugh before you drew him in for an intense kiss.
Fuck. Was the only thought running through Jungkook’s mind as his eyes were glued to your body.
Why had he thought this would be a good idea?
Jungkook hadn’t fully thought it through when he asked you to join him for his workout. Of course he knew stretching was important, but was it even legal for you to look this good as you did?
You had no idea about the affect you were having on him as you began your exercise with squats. Jungkook was restless and couldn’t seem to focus on anything but you and eventually there was a stir in his pants and he inwardly cursed. He no longer had any control over his body as his mind began to fill with lustful thoughts.
You had just been going down for another squat when you felt Jungkook wrap his arms around your waist drawing you close to him. Your eyes began to widen as you felt something poking you from behind and finally realized what it was.
“Baby, I don’t think this was a good idea,” was all he said before he turned you around and captured your lips in his.
I hope you enjoy<33 Special thanks to admin k for some of the ideas<3
He would be
so excited. Scratch that, he’d be fucking ecstatic when he felt your new jewellery
tease the base of his cock. It’d take everything in him not to cum down your
throat right then.
sure to show you how much he’s enjoying himself by the way his fell back, his
beautiful Adam’s apple being more obvious in this position, tempting you to
bite his neck, and his lips parted to let out a series of moans mixed with your
over to his studio just to be around him was nothing new. You deciding to help
him relax by sucking him under the desk while he works was nothing new either.
What was new
is feeling a cold piece of metal circling around the tip of his dick after you pressed
gentle kisses up and down his shaft for 5 minutes.
instantly flew to your head to help guide you in your ministration. While he
can still concentrate on his work in normal circumstances, you clearly got his
full attention now.
He screamed a
little when he felt the jewellery for the first time. What? You can’t just take
a man by surprise like that!
But he was quick to get in the feeling and move
his hips so his tip was at the back of your throat and stop your giggles. He
kept going like this until he felt his orgasm approaching and pushed you of so
he could release into your opened mouth.
“You look so
pretty like that” “What if I get one as well, hmm? Would you like to feel what
it’s like baby?”
be surprised by this but that doesn’t mean he would enjoy it any less.
of the times, when he’d take control and fuck your mouth, he let you take your
time teasing his throbbing cock seeing that you enjoy that as much as he is.
know how to get me to do whatever you want, don’t you, kitten?” “Now it’s my
turn to pleasure my baby”
Keeping his composure no matter what was something he was proud of. But this was something new to him, and he didn’t know how to react.
It’s not like he could let loose and be vocal about it since you thought the best place to show him what you did earlier in the day was the restroom… of the restaurant he took you to eat dinner. All he could do was bite his plump lower lip to stifle the sinful moans that were about to fill the otherwise quite bathroom and wait until you got home so he could punish you for putting him through this.
You came by
his apartment pretty late so you two decided to just go to sleep. Because of
this he still hasn’t noticed your new piercing. When you woke up the next
morning to a moaning boyfriend in the middle of a wet dream you figured that
that was the best moment to let him know.
It took him a
couple of minutes to wake up and figure out what was pressing against his dick,
but once he did he couldn’t hold back. With a quick warning in case you didn’t
want him to cum in your mouth, he spilled his seed in your warm mouth.
Any kind of
shame was thrown out the window when he felt your skilled wet muscle licking
the length of his shaft. It wasn’t anything unusual for him to turn into a whining
and whimpering mess whenever you pleasure him, but the new piercing you just
got really pushed him over the edge.
into numerous nights of endless teasing from you and although he’d never admit
to you just how much he enjoyed it, his body language was enough to send the message
Zimbits AU where your world is black and white until you hear your soulmate laugh
Jack knows his parents’ story off by heart.
Bob had been on the ice at an away game. The crowd was screaming; it was overtime. Things had been a bit tense.
And then Bob had put a puck in the net of the opposition and that was it. The disappointed home audience had fallen into a quiet grumble after some polite clapping. Many hands were slapped on Bob’s back as the team skated towards the edge of the ice. Bob had been just about to leave the rink, and then-
A laugh. A snorting, wonderful laugh, and his world filled with color.
He had frozen where he stood, ears caught on the sound of that laugh and the voice that followed.
“I told you, didn’t I? No one’s got it like Bad Bobby Z!”
It was his turn to let out a laugh and he did, with gusto. His voice boomed so loud it had seemed to reverberate around the arena, every head swiveling to the source of the noise.
Every time he told that story, Bob swore blind he heard his soulmate’s gasp in the ensuing silence. Alicia would roll her eyes fondly, stating that she did not gasp, thank you very much, and that the dreadful nickname she’d called him had been popular among hockey fans at the time.
Whatever the truth, they’d introduced themselves moments later and were married within the year. It was like that, with soulmates. Instantaneous.
Jack’s not heard that story since before the Draft. He knows people think if he’d found his soulmate before- before, he wouldn’t have done it. But people tend to over romanticize things out of habit. In the end, soulmates and laughter and colors had very little to do with how he ended up here.
If I had to pick a character who was the most difficult to talk about in this series, it would probably be Daenerys Targaryen. The intersection of every single conflict and perspective–in world and modern–about her is one that is almost impossible to address without sidelining one element of it.
That her arc relies intensely white saviorism; depictions of the Dothraki are laden with racist tropes; her experience in Slaver’s Bay harkens to (but does not perfectly mirror) white conquest in the 19th century. This pairs uncomfortably with the fact that she is 13-16 years old (I’m focusing predominantly on book!Daenerys in this–if you are here for show!Daenerys proceed with that in mind), a child sold into sex slavery, a rape victim, and someone who believes firmly and acts upon the belief that any society that relies upon slavery is not society. As a woman in Martin’s historically inaccurate misogynistic world, she confronts challenges that are designed by the creator of the series to confront her womanhood; as a Targaryen/Valyrian/Westerosi far from her home and without the resources of that home, she is left with little choice but to look forward.
Before even touching on the content of A Song of Ice and Fire, a point that causes trouble, right out of the gate, is where do “problems” with Daenerys arise? When, for example, does responsibility lie with a character, and when with the architect of her story? Add into that–when does the responsibility lie with neither character, nor creator, but with instead the fans who are discussing the media in question?
All this is not to absolve Daenerys of whatever sins exist within her storyline. There are choices that the character makes that are reprehensible and for which the ultimate responsibility does lie with her; however it is also to say that many of the things that Daenerys is loathed for are decisions that lie instead at Martin’s feet.
Summary: Connor and the reader are friends online, but then find out they’re neighbors too. The reader is homeschooled, so she has no way of hearing the rumors about him. They become best buds and hang out with each other everyday and eventually fall in love
A/N: This was waaaayyy longer than I wanted it to be, so my apologizes in advance. Thanks again to @the-murphy-family for such a fantastic prompt, I’m sorry I rushed the exposition so much. I had so much fun writing this! (If you aren’t already following their blog, I highly suggest it).
Warnings: Connor’s potty mouth | First person reader | Fighting Murphy siblings
It was almost bedtime by the time I’d messaged him. I hadn’t planned on it, by any means. We talked after I’d finished my lessons for the day–he’d skipped school, I saw, which I always thought was off considering his mother was home.
I’d changed into my pajamas–just an oversized t-shirt and a pair of boxer shorts–and had begun to tuck myself into bed when I saw him.
He’d left his blind open tonight, and through the window screen I could see him silhouetted perfectly, all the lights in his room blazing. It was nearing 9:30, so I wasn’t too shocked to find he was still awake. The houses were so close together on this side of town and, from the second story window, there was nothing but a four yard distance between our windows–and a drop nearly twice that length.
He was sitting on the edge of his bed, staring straight ahead, giving me a view of his profile, the sharp angle of his jaw, the thin slope of his nose, and the hard jut of his adam’s apple.
What startled me enough to give pause was the fact he was unnervingly still, unblinking, staring at something I couldn’t see. He wasn’t working on homework or painting his nails or playing that silly candy crush game on his phone. He was just staring.
Too far away for me to make out his expression, I instead rolled over onto my bed, clicking the lights back on and pulling out my phone, opening up the Chat app we used on the daily.
What’s up, buttercup?
I wished I could see him–there were certainly nights we sat by the window and messaged back and forth, but starting out that way would mean he knew I saw him lost in whatever pensive state he’d been in, which more often than not would mean he’d be less than willing to talk. In my lap, my phone buzzed to life.
Isn’t past your bedtime or something?
I snorted, starting my own reply before:
Are you having trouble sleeping again?
Swallowing thickly, I immediately replied:
No, I’m fine. Just bored, checking to see if you were too :)
I tried to wait, give Connor a moment to compose whatever turmoil he’d been sitting in before I asked how he felt, otherwise I’d get a swift ‘okay’ and the conversation would take a dive bomb south at ridiculous speeds.
If it’s nudes you’re looking for, sorry to disappoint, but I’m not in the mood tonight, kiddo
I choked, lunging forward in the bed to muffle my embarrassing squawk into my fist. Thank goodness my bed was out of sight of the window, or I’d have to watch Connor chortling at my less than appropriate reaction to his less than appropriate joke.
Connor and I had only been talking for about two months now, after I’d moved out here five months ago. Well, we’d been talking for nearly the entirety of the five months, but I’d only realized it was Connor not all that long ago.
Oh no, whatever will I do without seeing your sculpted, rock-hard abs??? ;)
Shut up, jerk off
I cackled into my fist, careful to not wake my siblings that slept in the next room over. It had taken a large amount of time to get used to Connor’s rather blunt personality, to put it pleasantly. He’d always been candid, of course, ever since the first contact I’d had with him on the Chat app (“You swear you aren’t a pedophile, right? Or my dad? That’d be weird as fuck.”) and it had been thrilling to be with someone so open and ready to talk about things. The way he felt. The things he thought. The fact he was afraid.
We didn’t exchange photos for a long time–and I’d never seen Connor outside the house, other than the on and off times he’d flit across his bedroom window like a haunt, never knew his name–but the second his photo flashed on my screen, I knew. Even in the photo he hadn’t been smiling, the same stoic countenance he always wore.
He’d recognized my photo immediately, and had been less than thrilled. It took convincing–a lot of me showing up at the fence between our yards, very nauseous, promising it hadn’t been a mean joke–but he came around.
You sure you’re good? You’re quiet
I smiled softly at my phone screen. It was a rare night when Connor had enough energy to be so concerned about others–it wasn’t his fault, I knew, he was just in a bad spot right now. The fact he could consider my feelings for more than a few moments felt remarkable, flattering. But, most importantly, it meant he was doing okay.
I’m fine, pls don’t worry :)
Are YOU okay?
I’m fine, chill out
I rolled my eyes, unsurprised. Deflect and distract, his usually strategy.
Can’t see you rn
Come to the window
I sat up quickly, going over to shut out the light to blur my image to him. Combing my messy hair with my fingers, I tugged on my oversized shirt so that it covered my mostly exposed legs before throwing open the window and leaning out.
Connor, across the way, had already thrown his window open and was halfway leaning out, his face scrunched in confusion. He tapped something out on his phone, pausing every so often to tuck back the dark locks falling into his face. His other arm was braced on the window ledge, the sleeve of his hoodie pushed up to expose his bare forearms to moonlight, glowing a soft snow hue in the dark. My phone buzzed as he glanced back up at me with an open expression.
Turn on the light, dumbass, I can barely see you
I smiled up at him, putting my phone aside to shake my head 'no’. He frowned, slumping down a little more against the window, his chest pressed to the ledge, before holding his arms up in a 'why not?’ and flipping me the bird.
I typed out a quick response to let him know that my parents thought I was asleep. I watched him read the text, watched his eyebrows furrowed over his deep-set slate eyes, saw him frown, heard him swear under his breath. I bit back a chuckle as he carded his hand through his hair in frustration several times.
I vaguely wondered why this made so little sense–most of our conversation up to this point had been centric of me, but Connor was visibly frustrated (not that he wasn’t frequently) and earlier he’d seemed much to absent to not be upset about something. My phone buzzed to life, casting a blue glow across my face, and I saw Connor’s face stretch in recognition, pleased to make out my expression in the dark.
Meet me in the pool house
My heart jackhammered in my chest at the thought of it–sneaking out. He was crazy, he had to be. He knew my parents would murder me for being up this late, let alone sneaking out, and worst of all, meeting a boy.
Not just a boy. Connor.
I felt him watching me from across the divide, at the edge of my vision and could make out where he leaned against the window, propped up on his elbows and head in his hands, hair hanging in his face. Glancing up, meeting his stony gaze, I nodded.
It was immediate, earning a reaction from him. Biting back my chuckle, he scrambled up from where he kneeled against the window ledge, his whole face smiling as he ran from his window without looking back. He was already standing in his backyard, waving wildly before I’d even departed from the window.
I decided against redressing or doing my hair–Connor was waiting and the quicker I got out there the quicker I got back without alerting my parents to my absence. Besides, it was probably too dark in the pool shed for Connor to make out my bare face and frizzy hair anyway, let alone the hair on my legs and the stretch marks on my thighs. As if Connor had the nerve to look to begin with, I snorted.
Sneaking out was surprisingly easy, and Connor had left the gate cracked just enough for me to slip in between. The door to the pool shed–just a small building, hardly smaller than my bedroom, at the edge of the yard–was slightly ajar, and I saw quick movements coming from inside.
Once in the doorway, clicking the door shut behind myself, I heard a sharp intake of breath behind me.
“Connor?” I called, spinning in the dark so that my back rested against the door, ready to exit if necessary. My eyes searched the dark frantically–in vain. There was a small window, vaguely fogged from years of neglect that allowed a slim moon beam to shine in on a small pile of towels and blankets, a little bean bag chair. Connor had told me not too long ago he and Zoe hadn’t played in here for years, which meant it held secrets long forgotten by either of the Murphy children. I felt honored to be inside it.
“Hey,” he breathed, and though I could see him, I recognized his soft voice just to the right side of me, breathy and soft. It’s too dark to make him out, and I noticed he’s careful not to touch me, but I can feel his breath against my ear, warm despite the fact it’s chilly for a June night. I felt goosebumps pimpling along my legs, making the hair stand up on end. I silently thanked the universe for giving me the gift of darkness to veil myself in.
“Feels like it might rain,” I sighed, turning toward the sound of him, the warmth. My bare arms brushed something–maybe cotton, maybe not–but it pulled back immediately away from me, accompanied by a quick intake of breath.
“Christ, don’t talk about the weather,” Connor hissed into the dark, a hard thunk resonating through the shed where he must have leaned his head against the wall, a bit too forcefully. How very Connor of him. “That’s the kind of shit my dad says in the car when he acts like he’s uncomfortable to be near me for more than ten minutes at a time.”
“Sorry,” I muttered, leaning away, and turning to gingerly pick my way across the shed–it was getting late now and I was already beginning to get tired. Connor may be able to stay up until the early morning hours, but I definitely couldn’t be trusted to be awake at eleven.
“Fuck, don’t be sorry, I just meant–shit,” he growled, and I heard another sharp pang against the steel inside of the shed–he’d hit something with his fist, if the metallic clink of what I assumed to be his ring against the sheet metal was any indication.
I stumbled my way to the beanbag chair, collapsing, and letting myself sink into. It smelled a little like chlorine and sun-in hair dye, but it was soft and warm, almost the size of a double bed. I wiggled upright, squinting again to see Connor in the dark now that I took up the only patch of moonlight in the building.
“You aren’t feeling alright, are you?” I asked softly, resting my cheek against the faux suede of the chair, struggling to keep my eyes open. There was a pause.
“That’s not why I asked you over,” he sighed in his tennor, stomping across the room, picking his way, until he flopped down beside me, displacing the insides of the chair and nearly rolling me out of it.
He reached forward with another soft swear, grabbing my shoulder blades to yank me back onto the bean bag bed, rolling me close so that I wouldn’t fall again. I laughed, unsure what was so funny–maybe it was the fact I’d nearly catapulted out of the chair due to all five pounds of Connor “Ribcage” Murphy, or the current situation, my face pressed against the soft cotton of his hoodie, his heartbeat steady and strong against my cheek. I didn’t move away.
To my surprise, Connor didn’t move away either, just kept both arms wrapped around me, hands firmly in place of my scapula as if scared to dip any lower. I felt the dip of his chin against my temple, felt his lips against my scalp.
“Aren’t you freezing?” He whispered, rubbing quick circles between my shoulder blades.
“Quit dodging my question, Con,” I hissed, beginning to pull away before Connor tightened his grip–surprisingly strong for a boy with such lithe wrists.
“But you are cold,” he muttered, slipping one hand down from my shoulder to my bare arms, rubbing in quick patterns there, attempting to make some sort of friction between us.
God, my parents would kill me if they saw me now.
I want to he clear I wasn’t under any pretenses–this wasn’t, er, Connor hadn’t called me out here so that we could, well–
“I’m fine, Connor,” I promised, taking advantage of the moment to fold my arms against him, trapping them between the heat of our bodies, letting my cheek rest idly against his chest. Connor didn’t like me, I knew, but in the dark shed…well, it was easy to pretend.
It was always easy to pretend to be someone else with Connor.
“You wanna talk about what’s going on with you right now?” I said with a false bravado, thumping his chest lightly with my fist. “You can’t hide anything from me, Connor Murphy. I know you too well.”
“You don’t know anything, dumbass,” he grumbled half-heartedly, and I felt him lean forward to press his face into my hair. “You don’t know shit.”
“So you’re lying to me?” I baited with a smile, tapping his chest, feeling his frustrated sigh and rewarding him with a light laugh. “I didn’t think so. I’m here for you, you know.”
“I know,” he growled, sighing heavily, taking one hand off my back to push his hair away, before letting me go entirely to roll onto his back. His thin fingers covered his face, the black fingernails scratching frustratedly against his pale face. “I just–I don’t, I don’t know how to–shit.”
I leaned forward to tap his chest again, letting him know I was here. “Just talk it out. I’m not going anywhere, I promise.”
He shocked me by reaching forward with one hand, knotting his fingers with my own and letting them linger against his chest. I was grateful he couldn’t make out my expression from his position, grateful for the fact he couldn’t feel my face flush. I’d never been this close with a boy in my life, and Connor knew that. He wasn’t being fair, and I was sure he knew that too.
Unless he didn’t. Connor had a bad habit of selling himself short. I bit back the urge to press a kiss to his bony knuckles.
“I know,” he whispered, voice suddenly hoarse. He was worse than I thought. “Um, it’s harder now? I guess. I trust you–I mean, I always trusted you. It’s um, it’s harder because the anonymity is gone, I guess? I’m worried now that you know who I am–what I am–you’re gonna get bored of me?”
I didn’t laugh this time. His voice was thick and rapid as if he couldn’t hold back the word vomit, like he’d been holding it back for a while. My own throat felt thick, and I couldn’t contain the guilty feeling in my stomach. I rolled forward, wrapping my arms around his thin waist, feeling his hip bone press against mine sharply. I was careful not to look at his face–it’d shut him down for sure.
“Connor…I need you just as much as you need me, you know that right?” I whispered, trying too hard not to let him hear the panic in my voice.
“I know,” he rasped shallowly, sounding oddly wet. He was crying, I realized stupidly. My heart constricted in my chest, my stomach dropping. He was in pain and I had barely noticed. This was all my fault.
“And even if I didn’t need to vent, if I didn’t need your support, I’d still talk to you because I like you, Connor. You’re my friend. You’re a good person,” I whispered.
“You are,” I continued. “You’re a great person and you’re always looking after me, even when you’re hurt. I’m so sorry you’re hurting, Connor, I’m so sorry I didn’t notice–”
“I’m not hurting! Shut up!”
“Shhhh,” I hushed, sitting up to remind him to be quiet. “You’re parents are gonna–”
His face was red. His nose and lips were swollen, wet, and his cheeks, flecked with silver freckles glowing lightly in the moonlight beam he laid in, and there were tear tracks running from the corners of his eyes.
“Connor,” I cried softly, reaching up to wipe his cheek. “Please–”
“Shit, I’m sorry,” he sobbed wetly, hands folding up to cover his face. “Just fucking get out, okay? This was a mistake.”
“Hey, hey,” I soothed frantically, reaching up to pet his hair, hoping that it might make him unfold himself. “I’m not leaving until you tell me what’s wrong. I’m gonna help, Connor, whatever you need. I want to help you, please.”
“I’m not your responsibility, kid, okay? You can leave. Stop looking at me, Christ.”
“No,” I sighed. “Look, if you don’t wanna talk, that’s okay. That’s okay. Just, let me stay, okay? I’m not judging you, I’m not gonna leave, I promise. I’m here for you. Let me be your friend.”
He shook underneath me, holding in sharp sobs. I wondered how long it’s been since he let himself fall apart like this, let himself have some kind of catharsis, let himself feel, period.
This relapse was good. It was under control. I was here. I had him.
“Okay,” he whispered finally, reaching up to tangle his hands in my hair. “Christ, just–don’t tell anyone, okay? Don’t laugh.”
“I won’t,” I promised. “I’m not. I’m here, okay? You don’t have to talk.”
I might have imagined it, as I lowered my head back to his chest, might have imagined in between the soft presses of his fingers as they moved in and out of my, might have imagined, just briefly, the feeling of his lips pressed against my hair.
The next morning was awkward. My parents and siblings showed no knowledge of the fact I’d snuck out to see Connor last night–it wasn’t as if they weren’t aware we were friends, to my parents chagrin and the Murphys’ delight, but I didn’t need them to think we were involved in some sort of torrid tryst, especially one we weren’t even having.
I left a few hours after Connor had slowly ceased his wet and much needed lament and his breathing had turned into a soft snore. I untangled myself from his arms, and leaned back for awhile to watch him sleep, tried to ignore how angelic he looked, red faced and weepy with silver freckles glowing mutely in the patch of moonbeam.
I’d sent him a quick text to let him know I wanted to return before my parents woke up, let him know I’d be by the next day. Told him to message me if he wanted to talk again.
Now I was waiting for my mother to finish grading my papers for the day so I could to see Connor, who didn’t have school today thanks to some silly teacher institute, lucky loser. The American school system was a joke, to be quite honest.
“You’re jumpy,” my mother noted, scribbling something in the margins of my paper without looking up at me.
“I was gonna ask if I could go over to the Murphy’s? I haven’t talked to Zoe in a long time,” I asked sheepishly, scratching at my arm.
“And Connor, hmm?” My mother hummed thoughtfully, giving a smirk to my workbook.
“Connor’s cool,” I said honestly, nonetheless feeling a guilty lump rise in my throat.
“He’s a good boy,” she mused. “He always helps me with groceries if he’s outside.”
“Which is never,” muttered one of the younger kids, earning a kick under the table from me. My mom just smiled softly.
“Go ahead, honey. Call if you’re going to be longer than an hour.”
I thanked her, nearly sprinting out the door, my twin braids slapping against my back as I skipped between the yards. Zoe was at the door before I knocked, leading me into the kitchen, announcing me loudly in a way that would’ve earned a talking to at my house.
Cynthia appeared in the doorway, looking radiant, albeit a bit tired. Her face smiled brightly at me.
“Honey! It’s so good to see you, it’s been so long since you’ve stayed for dinner–Larry, tell Connor she’s here!–Zoe’s missed you, you should stay the night, right Zoe?–Larry, call Connor–Would that be alright with your parents? Stay for dinner then stay the night? I can run out and rent some movies and snag a pizza–Larry!”
Zoe just rolled her eyes, yanking me down the steps past her mother and into the basement. Her grip on my arm was vice like, almost painful and definitely excessive. Her pretty red hair blew up in my face, making the already dark room even harder to see through the haze of her auburn locks. She practically shoved me onto the couch, following me by slamming down beside me.
“I saw you last night.”
My pulse hammered in my throat, and I felt all the blood rush swiftly to my face, making me dizzy.
“I saw you. I told Mom. I don’t think Dad–”
“What do you mean?” I gasped, throwing my hands between us. Zoe blinked rapidly.
“You and Connor. In the shed. Last night. Christ, it was only ten, you could’ve been sneaky about it–”
“Zoe, we didn’t do anything,” I pleaded. God, if the Murphys knew, they’d tell my parents–
“You don’t really expect me to believe that, do you?” She sighed, pushing her hair back out of her eyes. “Whatever, okay? You don’t have to tell me, I don’t give a shit as long as you aren’t pregnant. Just–because you’re my friend, I want you to know some things. Are you gonna listen?”
I thought better than to argue with Zoe, so I nodded shyly.
“Look, I know you and Connor are friends. That’s fine, whatever. But you don’t see Connor at school. You don’t see Connor here, not really. Not what he’s like when you aren’t here.”
I felt my heart constrict. She was going to try to convince me to stop talking to Connor.
“He’s mean. You don’t think it’s weird you’re his only friend? He’s a bully. He’s lazy. He’s violent, Christ–he’s my brother, I love him. But you shouldn’t…you shouldn’t take him seriously, okay? One day his temper is gonna flip and you’re gonna be in his way.”
I blinked, stunned that Zoe would say something so slanderous about her own brother.
“I don’t understand,” I said softly, staring across at her. It was no wonder Connor was so upset, why he had to reach out to strangers on the Internet to vent. His own home was a war zone.
Zoe sighed heavily. “You aren’t at school. You don’t hear the rumors. You don’t see the things he does. If you wanna be friends, fine, but…be careful. I wouldn’t let him anywhere near your heart.”
I didn’t argue with Zoe–I thought better of it. So I just nodded.
“Thanks for, um. Thanks for the warning,” I said with a thick voice, struggling to maintain sincerity.
“You’re welcome,” she sighed. “Mom thinks you’re dating. She’s over the moon. It’s disgusting.”
“I thought you thought we were dating,” I pried, raising an eyebrow. Zoe rolled her eyes, hitting me with a deadpan expression.
“As if Connor could ever get someone like you. As if Connor could even feel something remotely close to love–I’m half convinced his chest is an icebox,” she laughed dryly.
“Talking about me, are we?”
We both spun, wide eyed to see Connor on the stairs, arms folded.
“No, go ahead, I’ll wait. I love hearing stories about myself. Tell me again Zoe about how I’m in love with her?” He hissed, making my face burn red in shame. I felt awful for letting Zoe talk about him that way–worse because Connor made it painful clear he didn’t reciprocate any feelings I might’ve had for him.
Wait. I didn’t have feelings. Connor was a friend. A good friend. A friend who needs me and who doesn’t deserve to be taken advantage of, not until he’s okay. Not ever.
“Never said that,” Zoe said with a smirk, rising from the couch gracefully. “But keep digging your grave, it’s fun to watch.”
“Fuck you,” he growled.
“Fuck you,” she grinned. “I’d love to watch your train wreck love admission, Titanic is on, and at least that story has a happy ending.”
Connor kept a white knuckled grip on the banister as she passed, as if holding in an urge to push her. He kept his blazing eyes downcast, and noted his pale cheeks were burning red.
“What’d she tell you?” He whispered once the door slammed.
“Nothing true,” I promised, leaning forward on the couch to make room for him, patting the seat beside me. “Nothing that changed my mind.”
His head snapped up, and I watched his expression go from rage to disbelief to awe before he descended the stairs, shaking. He stopped before the couch, as if scared to come near me, staring down in awe.
“What did my mom say to you?”
I shook my head. “Not much. She asked if I could spend the night. Only if you want me to, though.”
He laughed, but the smile didn’t quite reach his face. “Only if I want you to, Christ, where did I find you?”
“The Internet,” I reminded, earning another laugh.
“Of course I want you to,” he sighed, finally coming to sit beside me. “Of course I want–”
He cut himself off, surprising me, before slinging an arm around my shoulder. I stiffened, but eventually melted against him, reminding myself that it was just Connor.
“You wanna watch a movie? I hear they’re playing Titanic or something.”
It’s two am when I wake up, taking a quick mental assessment of where I am. There’s a soft blue glow burning my eyes, shining over what appears to be a nest of blankets piled roughly on the floor.
The Murphy’s basement, I realized with a jolt, I’m just at the Murphy’s.
I’m in a pair of Connor’s pajamas–Zoe’s clothes don’t quite fit me right–an oversized black shirt and a pair of sweats Cynthia brought down in a laundry hamper. My braids have long since come loose, the desperate curls tangling wildly around my head.
Beside me, Zoe is snoring, almost comically, every so often a nostril whistles in time to the soft sound of Dexter’s Lab playing on the tv.
There’s a hand, dangling just above my head. The pale fingers were curved artistically, the nails too short as if they’ve been bitten recently and the black nail polish chipped hopelessly. It’s attached to an arm, long and thin, almost angular, and up farther is a shoulder, bare, pressed against a red coffee stained couch.
“You’re awake,” he whispered in a conspiratory voice, but when I sat up to make contact, there’s no sly smirk. He’s frowning. “You are having trouble sleeping.”
I shook my head. “Stop worrying about me, Connor.”
“No,” he rasped, sitting up on the couch. I avoided looking too long at his bare chest, but regardless indulged nonetheless.
“You haven’t been sleeping,” I noted, coming to sit by him on the couch. He immediately opened the blanket, giving me room to slide in beside him, before throwing it around both of us so we could settle back against the couch. His bare skin was warm, and I let him take both my hands between his, letting him rub my hands between his in an attempt at some warmth.
“Been thinking too much,” he sighed softly. “Don’t worry about it.”
I swallowed, beginning to feel the effects of sleeplessness and helplessness melt together in a fatal concoction.
“I can’t help if you don’t let me, Connor,” I reminded him, pressing closer. “Let me help. What are you thinking about?”
He leaned away, as if I’d burned him, dropping my hands into his lap and looking away, the thin muscle of his cheeks hollowing as he clenched his jaw. “Can’t say.”
“Connor,” I pleaded. “Please let me help. I want to. I’m begging.”
“No,” he growled. I felt tears beginning to build, to my own horror, behind my eyes.
“Connor, can you just–”
It was an explosion. We both froze, turning in horror to glance at Zoe, waiting to breathe until we heard the soft whistle of her nose again. I turned slowly, terrified back to Connor. His eyes were wide, and if I didn’t have my fingers wrapped around his knee, I swore he might try to run.
“Me?” I asked softly, careful not to wake Zoe. Connor pursed his lips, his jaw twitching nervously.
“Fuck, yes, you, just–shit, I didn’t wanna say that–”
I leaned away, watching Connor’s face contort farther.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered heatedly. “I’m sorry if I did something wrong. You want me to go, right? I’m really sorry, Connor–”
“What?” He nearly yelled. “You think–fuck.”
His head ducked, to my great surprise, against my shoulder, pressing his face into the crook of my neck and, of all things, began to laugh.
“You think–Christ, it’s like you aren’t even real. You think I’m mad at you?”
He pulled away, his face no longer red or swollen, just smiling softly at me, almost awe struck, and staring intently with his slate eyes.
“I…I’m not sure?” I whispered, but not feeling at all nervous when Connor snaked his hands gently up my arms again.
“You’re perfect,” he whispered suddenly, shocking me. “And you have no idea that you’re perfect. Christ.”
I frowned. “Connor. I don’t…I don’t think I understand.”
But he was still looking at me–eyes scanning slowly over my face, landing suddenlyhalf-lidded on my lips, and it suddenly all clicked into place. Why Zoe would warn me. Why Cynthia acted the way she did. Why Connor was so scared in the first place.
I remember Zoe saying how over the moon Mrs. Murphy was at the idea of Connor and I dating–because that meant Connor would have me. It meant Connor would be happy.
It meant I would have Connor.
It was like a sudden dam had broken open inside me, filling me with more revelations as Connor’s hands lifted to cup the back of my head, his eyes soft, scared, and asking as they met mine. I let a quick exhale before I surged forward, slamming out mouths together much too forcefully, and not at all enjoyably.
I laughed–much too loud–but Connor kept back to the task at hand, his eyes closed in concentration, swallowing my outburst and folding me against his (very, very bare) chest and kissing me deeper, slower. It was painfully obvious he didn’t know what he was doing, but so much about the kiss was still tender and important, warming me from my core outward until I was scratching to wind my arms around him, getting him as close to me as I possibly could, kissing back to make sure he knew how much I wanted this. How much I wanted him.
How much I needed him. Anything he needed, I’d give him. Now and forever and–
“If you two are gonna fuck, can you do it in the bathroom or something? I’m trying to sleep.”
Connor and I pulled apart–causing me to stumble backwards against the arm of the couch gracelessly and staring at Zoe as she rolled over with her back to us.
I dared a peek back at Connor, whose lips were pink and wet despite their dry skin splitting with the force of his wide, wide smile. His eyes were glowing brightly, almost burning as he raked them over me. The flannel blanket was pooled behind his back where it had been wrapped around us, and he just simply opened his arms again, inviting me back. His pale chest–pock marked with freckles, clusters on his ribs–was striped with pink lines from where my fingers had raked in a desperate attempt to give him validation.
I crawled forward, pressing my face against his neck in a hazy attempt to bring my breathing back to a normal speed.
“You okay?” I asked, running my fingertips over his shoulders, fighting the urge to word vomit an unholy collection of questions about who and what we were. Connor Murphy, post kiss. Connor Murphy, still life, smiling with wet, swollen, bloody lips. Connor Murphy standing at the edge of happiness, jumps over the ledge.
He nodded against me, fighting with his own dark curls where they made an attempt to cloud my cheeks in an adoring way. Cute, I decided.
“Okay? I’m,” he sighed, laughing and wrapping his arms around me to squeeze tightly. “I’m…you have no idea.”
“Better than nudes?” I teased. He snorted, embarrassed.
“I’m positive. Although–”
I hit him.
“Okay, kidding! Jeez…” he pulled away, cupping my face lightly, pushing the hair back out of my eyes like I was a child. It felt fantastic, he was right, as I searched through the galaxies in his eyes, his pale skin illuminated by the hazy blue glow of the television. It felt so far past amazing, being held like I was the only person he knew how to see. He cleared his throat, and I saw his eyes were brimming with an emotion I couldn’t name.
“You, uh,” he laughed nervously under his breath. “You have to know I love you.”
It was a startling blow, knocking all the air out of me and forced a bubbling laugh to fly out of my lungs. Connor’s smile wavered slightly, so I popped up to press a soft kiss to the cleft of his chin.
“I know,” I sighed, giddy with the realization it was true. “I know. And you know I trust you more than anyone. You know I love you.”
It was like watching him crack open, the way all the uncertainty was cleared from his face, a wave of joy and triumph.
“You love me?” He asked so softly, so awestruck, I felt my heart shake in my chest. I’d barely started to nod before he surged forward to kiss me again, small and chaste pecks across my face and neck, the bridge of my nose, my temples.
He was okay. We were okay. We were going to be just fine.