throwing the seats

Your OTP + Kids
  • Who in your OTP carries them from the couch/car to the bed?
  • And who soothes the kids after a nightmare?
  • Who wants to throw out the car seat because the stupid thing won’t strap in?
  • Who cries on the first day of school?  
  • Gets the kids into the local sports team?
  • And who’s the parent that gets way too aggressive at these games?
  • Who in your OTP lets the kids stay up and watch movies and who sends them to bed?
  • Who sneaks candy to the kids before school, whilst the other pretends not to notice?
  • Who is the parent that yells at the kid for being called to the principal’s office and who is the parent who yells at the principal?
  • Who teaches their son to tie a tie and who
  • Explains periods to their daughter?
  • Who cries at graduation?
  • Who reads the book in silly voices?
  • Who’s the one against sweets before dinner and who lets it slide?
  • Who gets rid of the monster in the closet and under the bed?
  • Which parent sneaks veggies into the kids’ dinner and who doesn’t like veggies themselves?
  • Who in your OTP does the “hurt my baby and I’ll kill you” speech when their kid brings someone over?
  • Who goes on all the rides with the kids because their partner gets queasy on rides?
Sleeping with my Professor ~Naughty November~


Prompt: Professor Elija smut

Pairing: Reader x Elijah

Word Count: 830

Warning: none

TAGGED: @crysxtal @dunbarkiss @kirsty-lou666 @emo-chick-59-stuff@xxshewollfxx @horror-movies-and-disney@kittencutie245@thejulietfarciertlove @jwowwluv

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Request:  Can I request a Flash fic where (and this is after the start of season 3) Barry kidnaps you, confused why you don’t know who anyone on the team is? Pretty pretty please with a cherry on top? You can pick the relationship that the OC has :D

“Wait, where’s Y/N?” Barry asks, running a hand through his hair anxiously as he looks around the room at the finally patched up team.

“W-” Cisco starts, only to give up as Barry speeds out of the room, returning only a moment later with a bewildered you.

“What the hell is going on?” you whisper, terrified beyond belief at the fact that you had seemingly just disappeared from your workplace only to reappear in some white room, surrounded by strangers.

“There we go,” Barry sighs, practically throwing himself into a seat. “Now we have everyone.”

“Barry,” Caitlin starts slowly, her eyes darting between you and the scarlet speedster. “Who is this?”

“What do you mean, ‘who is this?’, it’s Y/N,” Barry replies, his brow furrowing in confusion as he finally takes in your stunned demeanour. “Wait, you guys know Y/N, right?”

“Hell no,” Joe shakes his head, his voice a few good octaves above normal as he keeps his eyes trained on you, as if attempting to assess whether or not you posed a threat.

“What’s going on?” you repeat, searching for anyone who might be able to give you a clue. Sure, you seemed to have been whisked away by someone you could only assume to be The Flash, but that left more questions than answers.

“Wait, none of you know Y/N?” Barry asks, his eyes wide with concern. “Y/N, you know the team right?”

“Who are you?” you ask, stepping back as he moves towards you. “And how the hell do you know my name?”

Headcanon that Dick all-too-happily tags along on every one of Wally and Artemis’ dates and annoys the crap out of them, but he claims that he and Wally are “heterosexual life partners” and are therefore a package deal.  

Wally and Artemis are trying to enjoy a movie at the theater, when suddenly an arm reaches from behind them and grabs a handful of popcorn. They look back and are shocked to discover Dick, sitting in the seat behind them and sobbing loudly as Bing Bong dies. 

They’re sipping a milkshake together in a diner, when Dick out of nowhere throws himself in the seat next to Wally and exclaims “Chocolate, my favorite! Thanks, guys!” And he drinks the rest of their milkshake, all the while talking about how he asked out Zatanna and is planning a double date. 

On a Ferris wheel together, when out of nowhere Dick drops from the sky and into their seat, squeezing himself in between Wally and Artemis as he helps himself to their cotton candy. “Heh heh, you guys must have accidentally left me back at the bumper cars. You’re so funny, for a second I though you were trying to ditch me ha ha.”     

One morning Artemis wakes up and sees that there’s someone between her and Wally snoring loudly in their bed. She expects it to be Brucley, but it turns out to be Dick, who’s wearing Superman pajamas despite being a 19 year old man and he’s snuggling Wally in his sleep. Wally later tells her, “Oh yeah I forgot to mention, he needs someone to cuddle with after he has nightmares." 

Finally Artemis confronts Wally about it. "Babe, we really need to talk about Dick. Can’t you just ask him to give us some space?,” she asks him one night after a bowling date was unsurprisingly interrupted by their one and only boy wonder. 

“Sorry, but at this point he considers himself an official member of this relationship, hon." 

"Okay, but isn’t it a little strange that he insists on sleeping in our bed?" 

At that moment Dick of course walks into their apartment, dropping his jacket on the floor and plopping down on the couch. "Hey, guys! Guess what, I just booked us reservations at Olive Garden!" 

Wally and Artemis both sigh with exhaustion. 

Can You Teach Me [Part 6]

Author: smutandahalf

Characters: Reader x Stiles


Word Count: 1,910

**Almost the end, prepare yourselves my lovelies! Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five **

Originally posted by sick-mind-bitch

“Y/N, I still need to be able to drive the damn car.” He groans, gripping the steering wheel so tightly his knuckles turn white, and I giggle against his skin as I continue to suck and place little kisses and bites along his neck.

           “But I want you so bad, babe,” I moan breathlessly against his ear and his grip on the wheel tightens anymore as he pants slightly, trying to control his breathing.

           “Let me focus, Y/N,” He mumbles and I throw myself back in my seat, pouting. I rub my thighs together, desperate to create even just a little bit of friction to relieve the pressure.

           I bite my lip, a wicked idea forming in my mind and I look up at him as I pop the button of my shorts, slowly sliding the zipper down and Stiles glances at me.

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cybersinner  asked:

So I'm guessing requests are open? If they are, could you do some road trip headcanons for McCree and his S/O and Zenyatta and his S/O?


  • He craves the open trail
    • Practically pleading with you to go on a trip
    • You agree and he practically vibrates out of his seat
    • Throwing both of your clothes with a bags with a smile
    • You ask him where you’re going and he shrugs
    • “We’ll figure it out.”
  • Within ten minutes the two of you are on the road
    • He pulls out a bag of jerky from his serape
    • You don’t even know when he got it
  • The two of you constantly drive
    • Pulling over whenever one of you sees something cool
    • Taking pictures and buying more jerky
  • You practically live in the car
    • Living off of fast food and sleeping whenever the other is driving


  • He brings it up after seeing it in a movie
    • Wanting to experience it for himself
    • The two of you talk it over
    • Figuring out where you were going and the route
    • You make sure to have several landmarks in the route
  • The two of you leave the next day
    • Car full of supplies for you
  • He’s enthused the whole time
    • Looking out the window enthralled at the passing scenery
  • He’s constantly taking pictures
    • Most them are of you
    • He can’t help it
      • He just loves you so much
  • He makes sure you get enough sleep
    • Making you stop at the nearest hotel/motel
    • He’ll charge or meditate when you sleep
    • Before doing that he’ll tuck you in
“Women Aren’t Funny.”

SO.  Junior year, film comedy class, my professor makes the assertion that we’ve all heard before: that women are not funny, cannot be funny, are not suited to comedy.  The female students in the class are, not surprisingly, offended, and disagree vehemently.  The professor says fine, we’re going to have a demonstration, and he guarantees he’ll be proven right.  He asks for two volunteers, one boy and one girl.  I put up my hand, as does my guy friend sitting next to me, and a moment later, we’re standing at the front of the lecture hall before our 100+ classmates.  The professor turns to us and says we each have exactly sixty seconds to make complete fools of ourselves.  My friend pretended to be drunk and ran at the first row of seats, throwing himself over them and hitting the floor with an impressive thud, at which point, everyone in the lecture hall turned to me.

As our professor informed us later, in the past, the girl in this experiment invariably stands there saying, “Uhhhhh….” until her sixty seconds are up.

Well, fuck that.

Me, I’ve got a pretty impressive chimpanzee impersonation in my personal repertoire, and I decide this is the perfect time to use it.  I throw myself around the front of the room, waving my arms over my head and making an earsplitting racket, then bound across the room to the professor and pretend to eat bugs out of his hair and beard until he’s laughing so hard he almost pisses himself.  The entire class loses it.  Professor eventually admits that maybe he was wrong.

So yeah, that’s the story of how I used chimp noises to get my academic advisor to admit that yes, women can in fact be funny.

One long car ride

Harry Styles - 1514 words (smut)


“Harry..” I whine, throwing my head against the seat as I try to kick my shoes off. Harry wanted to visit Liam and Niall, who were enjoying their time off in some sort of beach hours fucking miles away. Of course he decided this at six in the evening, so we had to drive the whole night to reach our destination. I was bored out of my mind, H not wanting to put the radio on, and he himself being awfully quiet since we left.

“Yeah babe?” I decided to kick my shoes off, my bare feet resting against the dashboard of Harry’s car, my free hand dangling out of the window. I am bored out of my mind and I’m ready to jump out of this riding death trap and meet Satan in hell.
“I’m bored.”

“It’s just a couple more hours babe, you’ll be fine.” Harry sighs out as he gives me a quick smile before averting his gaze back towards the road. We were the only one out, seeing how it was like two A.M., darkness surrounding us except for the lights of the car that illuminated our way. I started fidgeting with my fingers, the only thing I wanted was to enjoy Harry for the few days I had him all by myself, and now we’re leaving to spend those free alone time with the people I actually wanted to get away from. Don’t get me wrong, I love the whole band as if they were my brothers, but a girl has needs, you know.

I remember the night when H came home from tour, I had bribed my roommate into leaving the premises for the rest of the night. Harry knows exactly where to touch, with what pressure, and don’t get me started on that tongue of his. The boy is pure magic.
My eyes involuntarily close as I rethink the very welcome memories, the feeling of Harry’s fingers ghosting over my wet core as I wriggle and beg for more, beg for him to take me as he pleases. He had gotten even more fit, strong and muscly, I couldn’t do anything but to try and touch every single square centimeter of skin.

I opened my eyes again to see that Harry did not pay attention to me, a song stuck in his head which he hummed along to, his fingers tapping along the steering wheel.
I could feel my heart beating faster, my knickers wetter and my hands trembling to touch him. But I’m fairly certain that if I tried anything right now we would get into a fight, which isn’t something pleasant to look forward to if you’re still stuck in the same car for the rest of the night. I guess I’ll just have to help myself out.

My fingers fiddle with the straws of my sweatpants as I glance once more towards H, still nothing. I let my hand glide into my sweatpants, closing my eyes as I let my fingers toy with my slit, my mind bringing me back when Harry was banging me, the headboard shaking against the wall as his grunts vibrated through the air.
I bite my lip, letting one of my fingers slip into my core as I lean back a bit, opening my legs a little to give myself more access. I didn’t care about Harry anymore, if he wasn’t going to pay attention to me, I would pay attention to myself.

I could hear my breathing get heavier, that along with the gravel on the road the only thing being heard. Harry was still tapping the steering wheel along to an imaginary beat, and I let my imagination run freely.
What if he just pulls off the road now and shags me against his the hood of his car? I could be moaning into thin air, begging for more and nobody would even notice.

“Mm.” I accidentally let a little moan slip out as I buck my hips up, my mind giving me vivid images of what could happen. All of the sudden the beating of H’s fingers stop and I can her him scrape his throat. “What are you doing?”
I cock one eye open, trailing it over his shocked yet amused face.
“What does it look like? You ignore me so I’ll help myself out.”

“Fuck.” Harry curses and I moan freely now bucking my hips up to meet my own touch as I can hear Harry curse once more.
I am shaken from my own little world when I feel the car come to an abrupt stop, and I open my eyes to see Harry staring at me.
“What’s wrong H? You wanted to be there by nine, so don’t you think you should step on it?” I blatantly state, still annoyed that I couldn’t get my alone time like I had wished for all those months.

“I- Fuck.” I let my eyes fall onto his jeans, the tight clothing straining against his growing bulge and I smirk as I raise my eyebrows before meeting his eyes again.
“You like this?” I slip my hand from my own knickers and crawl on top of Harry, my back resting against the steering wheel as I let my fingertip trail over his collarbone, my lips wetted by my tongue every couple of seconds as I kept his gaze.

I press my core down onto his aching crotch, cupping his neck with my cheek. “Answer me H.”
“Ye-yeah. Fucking hell.” His hands come up to grab one of my breasts but I quickly slap his hand away, pinning them to the side of his car seat.

“You didn’t want to touch me before H, so you can’t right now.” I chuckle darkly taking my shirt of slowly, exposing my breasts to Harry since I couldn’t care less to wear a bra if I was sitting in a car all night. His eyes almost pop out of their sockets as he tries to touch me again but I growl and his hands fly back down, his puppy dog eyes coming out as he pouts his lip at me. I ignore it, pushing my sweatpants down before pulling Harry’s jeans and boxers down in one swift motion to his knees.

My fingernails scratch over his hips as I rid him of his shirt as slowly as I can, my hips in meanwhile circling against his exposed cock, slicking him with my arousal and his pre-cum. He was a groaning, withering mess underneath me and I had to take all my willpower in me to not just ride him immediately. He deserved to be toyed with.

I kiss, lick and nibble my way up on his torso towards his jaw, licking a stripe up his neck before I let my teeth sink into his sweet spot, Harry by now a groaning, muttering mess underneath me. “Please, please.”
“Please what H?” I smirk, stilling the movements off my hips as my nails continue their movement over his abs.

“Let me fuck you.”
Instead of answering him, I let myself sink down onto his cock, a hiss drawn from his lips as he closes his eyes and leans his head against the car seat.
“Mm H.” I moan out, riding him by circling my hips, and I grab his hands and set them on my waist and he takes that as his cue to kick in.

Within a second his grip tightens, enough to bruise, and his hips start to meet mine in short, quick thrusts. Both of us are panting and moaning profanities, and this is what I’ve wanted, some alone time for us to connect, not the sweet and innocent giggly H but the one that’s passionate and rough with me.
His hands grab my breasts and by now I’m bouncing on his lap by just the motion of his hips, I’m a mess, moaning his name over and over again as I reach my high.

It doesn’t take long for Harry to finish as well, his arms immediately snaking around my waist as he hauls me into his chest, his ragged breathing warming my neck as he tries to regain his breath.

“I missed you.” Harry breathes out in pure bliss, my own lips leaving tiny kisses near the nape of his hairline, my eyes closing at the smell of vanilla and sex. My favorite scent on H.
“I did too H. Really.” My nails scrape his neck, up to his hair to pull there lightly as he lets out a breath he had been holding in.
“I’m sorry I’m dragging you across the country, Niall and Liam just really like you and were complaining they want to spend some time with their best mate.” My heart flutters at the realization that his best friends, band mates and practically his whole life actually enjoys my company and wants me around.
“I don’t mind babe, as long as I’m with you.” I wink and let my lips catch his.

Lots of love,
L. xox

anonymous asked:

Hey there, I love your writing, so if you're ever up to, could you write Rosa and Charles watching the surveillance tapes from the evidence lock up in episode 03x01? I just think it would be so funny to actually see (in this case read) Charles watching Jake and Amy killing a guy with their kiss, and Rosa telling him to chill (while secretly smiling to herself).

ahh thank you!!! once again i’m super sorry for how long it took me to turn this around!!!

“Wait, wait!” Charles shouts for the third time in five minutes. Rosa’s huff comes out as a growl as she basically throws herself backwards in her seat, rolling her eyes as far back as they’ll go in her head as Charles stands and hurries toward the surveillance room door. He flicks the lights off, throwing the room into an almost-eery glow that throws sharp shadows across his grinning face as he hurries back to his seat beside her. He’s already made her stop so that he could pee (“I don’t wanna miss a single second!”) and again so he could find a jacket (“I don’t wanna be distracted by how cold it is in here, Rosa!”), and now -

“Mood lighting?” Rosa asks, unable and unwilling to keep the disdain out of her voice.

“This is going to be the most romantic thing I will ever witness, Rosa. It has to be perfect. One day my kids are gonna see this tape.”

It would be touching if it wasn’t so totally weird.

“Whatever,” she grumbles, turning back toward the film pulled up on the screen. It took Savant all of twelve seconds to get everything pulled up for them, which apparently isn’t all that impressive in and of itself, except their last IT Department Head would sometimes take twenty minutes just to log in to his stupid computer.

It’s really a wonder they weren’t hacked sooner.

The picture quality is pretty bad, but Rosa can already tell that it’s Amy’s arm only just starting to push the door to the evidence locker open. Her fingers are strangely tingling as she reaches for the play button. "Ready?“ She asks Charles one last time.

“I was born ready,” he mutters, eyes glued to the screen.

She rolls her eyes and presses play.

Amy comes in alone, surprisingly. They watch the grainy image of her quickly pace toward the front row of shelves, where she feigns interest in what Rosa is pretty sure is a duffel bag literally stuffed full of cocaine, before the door suddenly opens and Jake appears. He’s turned back toward the exterior of the room, apparently in the middle of shouting something (Rosa vaguely remembers him yelling something about evidence earlier, but she learned a long time ago to not pay much attention once Jake starts shouting) before closing the door and quickly meeting Amy in the middle of the room. She half-expects them to just immediately go to town on each other, but they don’t - instead, they start talking. She can tell by Amy’s exaggerated movements that she’s excited about something - binders, probably - and Jake responds to her just as enthusiastically.

“C'mon,” Rosa grumbles. “We came for the action, not the foreplay.”

Jake asks something, Amy shrugs, Jake says something disparaging (she knows it’s disparaging because she sees his head drop down lower toward his shoulders the way it always does when he’s being annoying), and then -

“Oh, oh, we have hand-holding!” Charles shouts excitedly.

“Look at Santiago, initiating the rule-breaking,” Rosa says. Amy pulls Jake to the back row and spins so that her back is pressed against the shelves. His hand is still in hers, though, and she uses it to pull him to her; Jake appears to go more than willingly, bracing himself with hands on the shelf on either side of her shoulders, diving in for what appears to be a pretty raunchy kiss.

Charles squeals.

It’s pretty annoying, really, but Rosa finds that she can’t quite draw her gaze away from the two making out on-screen long enough to level a proper glare at him. “Oh I’m - I’ve waited so long -” Charles says, and she glances up to find his eyes glassy with tears as he watches.

“S'creepy, man,” Rosa tells him, but she’s fighting a grin that is dangerously close to bursting across her face. Amy’s no longer pressed against the shelves when Rosa looks again - in fact, she looks to be half-way through the process of pushing Jake back against the shelves - when suddenly the evidence locker door swings open and Dozerman comes lumbering in. Charles gasps when Amy shoves Jake away so forcefully he falls, and Rosa snorts when Jake leaps back to his feet brandishing a candy wrapper he apparently found on the ground. They both wince when Dozerman collapses into the boxes stacked to the right of the aisle, and Rosa finally stops the tape just before Amy reaches the door to the lockup. “They actually killed a guy,” Rosa marvels.

“Correction: their love killed a guy.” Charles says. He’s poorly suppressing a grin. “They’re the Jack and Rose of the Nine-Nine. It’s official.”

“Are you saying that Jack and Rose caused the Titanic to sink?”

Charles blinks a few times, his grin slowly fading. “N-No, I - oh,” he frowns. “Just that, like, the odds are stacked against them, but…their love will prevail.”

“You do remember how it ends, right?”

Yeah, but Amy actually won’t let go. They’ll die holding each other as the Titanic takes on water -”

“I think you may be getting a little ahead of yourself, there, buddy,” Rosa mutters, but he’s already grinning dreamily again.

And somehow, Rosa can’t find it in herself to mind.


ITS WHAT I WERE FEEL AFTER THIS EPOSODE: - Peter wanted to throw everything including the seat to Scott for Malia. - He wants to take away with him Malia slices of bacon Hills SAFETY place. TWICE he voluntarily sacrificed his own life to save his baby Malia.: 1. burned himself alive FOR Malia 2. moments from Jack London “Go…GOO, RUN MALIA RUUUN !!! (care to save Malia from ghost Riders sent Malia flee while he stayed to fight with them just to save her.) VERDICT: Peter Hale loves and takes care of his daughter. MALIA HIM FOR ALL. And I feel bad because if they WILL NOT BE AT THE END OF FAMILY REUNION, God forbid PETER DIE. I die with it too.

Originally posted by livingmylifeformeandyou

Originally posted by the-vvinter-svldier

Originally posted by kylebraxton

Originally posted by fytwolf

I don’t take a lot of ubers but recently my uber rating was 5 and now it’s 4.38 so I assume I really upset that guy I accidentally dropped a tomato on and I’m very sorry

Drabbles - 103

Sharing is caring. Now give me your fries.”  Yoongi

You take your sunglasses off when you enter the burger joint and shove them into your bag. It’s the two in the afternoon on a weekday, when brats like you should be in high school learning trigonometry or the motivations behind Shakespeare’s Benvolio, but you’d been lured here on the promise of an early grave, courtesy of salty fries and cheeseburgers.

A hand lifts into the air from a boy sitting at one of the booths in front of the window, facing the opposite direction. He’s got bubblegum pink hair and seems to be wearing a black leather jacket. When he flips you the middle finger, you stalk over to the table and throw your bag into the seat across from him.

“Hey, bitch,” Yoongi greets you, munching on three french fries in a manner that can only be described as surly.

“Get into a fight with Pepto-bismol?” You snark back, reaching forward to steal a fry. He smacks your hand away.

“Weak. Come on, Y/N, I know you can do better.”

“Hey, I skipped class to deal with this crisis of yours. I could be not-learning the secrets of exponents and whatever those X equations are.” You glare at him and make a lunge for the basket of fries. “Sharing is caring. Now give me your fries.”

Yoongi rolls his eyes but doesn’t fight back this time when you grab the greasy basket and start biting down on hot, salty, potato-y goodness. “Fine. Whatever.” He runs his hand through his pink hair roughly and scowls. 

“Now, what’s your ish?”

“Stop saying that. I’m fucking serious, with that bullshit.”

You stare at him flatly. “What’s. Your. Ish. Bitch?”

“God, I hate you. Why are we friends?” Yoongi leans back against the plastic cushions, the leather of his jacket squeaking terribly as it slides against the seat. He grimaces and leans forward, bracing his arms on the table. A balled-up cheeseburger wrapper sits next to a large drink. Didn’t even save you a bite, the selfish jerk.

“Because I do shit like this for you. Know what’s going to happen if my parents find out about this? Grounded. Again. I won’t be able to go to your show on Friday night. If I can’t make it back before Kim-sshi finds out.”

A odd glint appears in his eyes. “Yeah, about my show….” He fiddles with the rings on his fingers for a couple seconds, before he smiles and meets your gaze. “I got a call this morning. A representative from BigHit Entertainment is going to becoming, to scout me. They saw clips of my videos and thought I had talent.”

You gape at him. “Are you serious right now? Oh my god, BigHit?! Isn’t that the place you were going to audition for this summer? Yoongi, that’s amazing!” You gush, smacking him on the arm excitedly. “You’re going to kill it, I know it. Of course they thought you have talent, they have eyes and ears, don’t they? Oh, I’m going to come over to your house after school on Friday. You can’t be trusted to plan a hot enough outfit for the occasion.”

He grins as you continue to chatter excitedly, a mixture of nerves and anticipation turning his stomach. Listening to you, though, helps him move past the soul-crushing anxiety that was the realization that his dreams of becoming a professional artist are within reach.

Originally posted by vjin

Imagine Cas and Dean checking out a bar in relation to a case and Dean heading to the bathroom and on his return sees a tall, handsome stranger pressed up against his angel with his arms around his waist, whispering in his ear. Dean of course loses his shit and stalks over to them pulling Cas out of the mans reach and giving him a death glare before pulling Cas out the bar and throwing him in the back seat of the Impala. He then of course has to rip his angels cloths off and fuck the living day lights out of him to remind him who he belongs too! X

anonymous asked:

Negan/Rick u kno it

  • Who in your OTP carries them from the couch/car to the bed? They take turns. 
  • And who soothes the kids after a nightmare? Whichever one wakes up first, which is usually Rick because he’s a super light sleeper.
  • Who wants to throw out the car seat because the stupid thing won’t strap in? Negan! Rick’s had a lot of practice since he’s already gone through this with Carl, and Negan is kinda clueless about a lot of baby stuff.
  • Who cries on the first day of school? They both do. Rick because he can’t believe how fast his kids are growing up and Negan because he can’t believe he’s actually getting to do this stuff and be a part of a family.
  • Gets the kids into the local sports team? Negan. He pushes hard for baseball, of course. Carl does it for a season or two and then switches to basketball. Judith, when she’s old enough, is overjoyed when she gets to join the Tee-Ball team. 
  • And who’s the parent that gets way too aggressive at these games? Also Negan. There have been threats of physical violence and Rick’s had to haul him away from the premises more than once. 
  • Who in your OTP lets the kids stay up and watch movies and who sends them to bed? Negan prides himself on being the fun dad and lets them stay up, while Rick accepts his role as the strict one and enforces bedtimes. However, one week when Negan’s gone to visit family, Rick tries being the fun parent. The kids are strung-out exhausted and the house is a wreck when Negan gets back.  
  • Who sneaks candy to the kids before school, whilst the other pretends not to notice? Rick sneaks candy into their backpacks every so often, because he likes to spoil his kids. Gummy worms for Judith, Reese’s Pieces for Carl. Negan thinks that this is incredibly adorable. 
  • Who is the parent that yells at the kid for being called to the principal’s office and who is the parent who yells at the principal? Rick yells at both of them! Carl gets called to the principal’s office one day due to getting into a fight with another kid, and Rick yells at him when he gets home that day. When he calms down, Carl explains that the only reason that he hit the kid was because he was bullying Sophia again, and then Rick is all protective-proud-papa-bear and drives back up to the school to yell at the principal. Negan cheers him on.
  • Who teaches their son to tie a tie and who explains periods to their daughter? Rick teaches Carl how to tie a tie, Negan teaches Judith about periods. He has to, because Rick’s version of explaining it was awkwardly hiding behind pamphlets and giving her a book called “Your body and You”. She’s, understandably, confused, and Negan decides to take matters into his own hands. He’s the gym coach, and that usually gets lumped in with heath classes, so every couple semesters he teaches this stuff, anyway. He answers her questions and Rick is a little impressed at how he handles it. 
  • Who cries at graduation? They both do. They’re a couple of weepy fucks, Rick moreso than Negan though. 
  • Who reads the book in silly voices? Negan. Judith starts requesting him more and more for her bedtime stories because he does the voices as dramatically as possible, just to see her giggle. 
  • Who’s the one against sweets before dinner and who lets it slide? Rick’s against sweets before dinner, Negan lets it slide, as long as he’s not cooking something major (He does most of the cooking). If he is, all bets are off, don’t spoil your damn appetite, I’m slaving over a hot stove!
  • Who gets rid of the monster in the closet and under the bed? They both do, but at different times. Negan, being on story duty, scares them off before bed, and Rick, being the lighter sleeper, does it when Judith wakes up in the middle of the night. At first, Judith only trusts Rick to do it, because she knows her daddy’s a cop and catches bad guys so he can handle the monsters. But the first time Rick’s not home to do it, Negan does such a good job, threatening them (G-ratedly) with one of her plastic baseball bats, that she decides that he’s a good monster-chaser too. 
  • Which parent sneaks veggies into the kids’ dinner and who doesn’t like veggies themselves? Negan sneaks veggies into the meals. He usually has to be sneaky about it, because Rick also hates veggies and if he points it out, the kids will pick up on it. 
  • Who in your OTP does the “hurt my baby and I’ll kill you” speech when their kid brings someone over? They take turns! They have a lot of fun with it, playing good-cop bad-cop with Carl’s dates. 
  • Who goes on all the rides with the kids because their partner gets queasy on rides? Rick goes on all the rides because Negan is a big-time hurler. But Negan wins them all the stuffed animals from the Carnival games.