throwing myself out a window

Things I've actually heard college students say
  • “Look how pretty my notes are!! Too bad I’ll never study them”
  • “I might look fine in class but I’m dying inside" 
  • “I’ve never seen frozen and at this point i’m afraid to" 
  • "when the professor shows up I’m just gonna get up, make eye contact, and leave”
  •  ”shut the fuck up and eat your shitty frosted flakes”
  •  ”Is it acceptable to throw myself out the window after we take this exam”
  • “I need more gay people in my life I’m suffocating in straights”
  •  ”I think I’m just gonna sleep outside and let the snow bury me until I die”
  • “why the fuck would i pay 5 dollars for a grilled cheese? oh wait they’re delivering them? ok buy 3”
  • “i feel like a child but i look like an adult and i think it throws a lot of people off”
  • “yo look at this dog! i want this dog. this dog is straight g”
  • “I got super drunk and told everyone I was a lesbian” 
  • “I’VE ONLY DONE ANAL TWICE OKAY”
  • “instead of studying art we should MAKE ART WITH OUR BODIES”

feel free to add anything you’ve heard

I am sorry every song is about you..

[singer & songwriter AU] Dan’s gifted voice paired with Phil’s brilliant mind, made the world into a whole new different place.

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dan vs phil golf with friends: a summary

platonic biffles wear matchy matchy golf hats

tiger lester

phil admires dan’s ball skills (“that was sexy wasn’t it”)

dan has powerful balls

phil has fondness for odd numbers

phil has blown a ball before

“big boy golf”

dan has a kink of people carrying his things

phil likes to “plan a whack”

the return of ‘we don’t have any other friends’

stalker butterfly

dan bites his tongue swear wise

“channel your inner golf”

phil’s sound effects are truly underrated

dan’s sarcastic applause

dan broke his swearing filter with wank and shit

“that was neat”

“phil you need to stop saying hole in one”

“i guess god hates you” (actually dan think back to the pokemon go vid u hypocrite)

britney spears parody

“that mole would get twatted into the floor”

“call me king of life”

i just realised phil looks like a sailor with his hat and i feel warm

dan bounces off course again and again

phil lester said spank we must alert the church elders

“team phil”

dan thought he’d got the hang of the hole but failed and went backwards

totally non-competitive bants

“don’t even look at me”

dan’s little laugh when he wins a hole

“hole thirteen, unlucky for some but not for philly” phil validates my birth date i’m counting it as a notice

phil’s motivational speech

“katniss is going to come and attack you”

dan tried to fuck up phil’s chances but it backfired

“phil that’s not straight”

“oh no phil, what a floppy ding dong”

dan’s eagle impression

“stop stroking my ball” - dan howell 2k17

“go log power”

“watch me perfectly bounce this up the crack”

“you were so far from the crack”

“you’re so silly!”

the obligatory ribena sip

“wank wank fuck shit”

“ooh, who’s your golf dad”

“i’m going to throw myself out the window”

“the game gets quit”

dan hacked the game and succeeded when he should’ve failed

“you can do it phil, i believe in you”

dan sings when he tastes victory

cocky baby blows raspberry at tolerant biffle

squishy dan face skin

“get the board hoe”

“what’s next, lester family trivia? i bet you’d lose that somehow”

good game sportsmanship handshake can’t wait for the handshake fic

“let’s go have a beer and talk about politics”

“see you on the green, crazies”

danisnotacaddylad

AmazingPutt

Free! Cast: Things I've actually heard College Students say
  • Nagisa: Look how pretty my notes are!!! Too bad I'll never study them.
  • Nitori: I might look fine in class but I'm dying inside.
  • Rei: I've never seen Frozen and at this point I'm afraid too.
  • Haru: When the professor shows up Im just gonna get up, make eye contact and leave.
  • Gou: Shut the fuck up and eat your shitty Frosted Flakes.
  • Momo: Is it acceptable to throw myself out this window after the exam?
  • Nagisa: I need more gay people in my life I'm suffocating in straights.
  • Haru: I think I'm gonna sleep outside and let the snow bury me until I die.
  • Rin: Why the fuck would I pay $5 for a grilled cheese? Oh wait they're delivering them? Buy 3.
  • Makoto: I feel like a child but I look like an adult and I think it throws people off.
  • Momo: Yo look at this dog! I want this dog. This dog is a straight g.
  • Nagisa: I got super drunk and told everyone I was a lesbian.
  • Rin: I've only done anal twice okay!!!!!!
  • Gou: Instead of studying art we should make art with our bodies!!