throw-out-a-window

SAFEty first! short campaign part one

I decided to GM a game of pathfinder with my older brother. He was a half-elf samurai named after Renji from Bleach. He finished killing the inn keep and began searching for his money in his room. 

Me: You find a safe.

Bro: I try to open it.

Me: You failed.

Bro: I try again.

Me: You still failed.

Bro: Fine then! I look around the room for numbers.

Me: You found the number 7.

Bro: Are there any other numbers?

Me: No. Just the number 7.

Bro: I go to the safe and I put in…..777.

Me: It opened. *rolls twenty sider for fun* *low roll* It opens up with such a force that it throws you out the window. You take one damage.

Bro: I go back up and see what’s inside the safe.

Me: Inside the safe is………….another safe.

Bro: I look for another number.

Me: On the back of the first door is the number 3.

Bro: Okay, now I put in….33……3.

Me: It opens *rolls another small number* the door explodes off and sends you across the room into the wall. Take another damage. Inside is a third safe on a table.

Bro: Damnit! I just wanted this guy’s money! I look under the table for more numbers.

Me: You found the number 6 by a pentagram.

Bro: I put 666 into the safe.

Me: The safe explodes and you take 5 non-lethal damage and are unconscious.

Also I will never be over the fact that allegedly the first rehearsal session for Coppola’s Dracula consisted of the entire cast being called to his house and made to take turns reading aloud from the original novel until they finished the whole thing in one session, only for them to then make a movie that throws the entire book out the window like twenty minutes in.

micma  asked:

COME ON BICH GIMME THE BAYONETTA

FLEX

  • the character i least understand - jeanne
  • interactions i enjoyed the most - WHEN BALDER THROWS LUKA OUT THE WINDOW AND GIVES CEREZA A KISS ON HER FOREHEAD
  • the character who scares me the most - father balder sometimes
  • the character who is mostly like me - probably alraune ngl we both like big girls and dance like hoes
  • hottest looks character - L-U-K-A LUKA
  • one thing i dislike about my fave character - luka is perfect flawless a beautiful young man, nothing is wrong with him
  • one thing i like about my hated character - young balder is kinda pretty i guess
  • a quote or scene that haunts me - YOU HAVENT SEEN THE HALF OF IT……ive….seen enough……
  • a death that left me indifferent - none?????
  • a character i wish died but didn’t - I WANT NONE OF THESE CHARACTERS TO DIE OK I WANT THEM TO BE HAPPY AND ALIVE WITH THEIR GIANT FUCKING GIRLFRIENDS AND NO ONE ELSE
  • my ship that never sailed - NONE OF MY SHIPS SAILED none….none of them….i have like 3 important ships,,,,,
-What is the best training for writing? Courses in writing? Or what?
-Read, read, read! Read everything - trash, classics, good and bad; see how they do it. When a carpenter learns his trade, he does so by observing. Read! You’ll absorb it. Write. If it is good you’ll find out. If it’s not, throw it out the window.

sherlock comes twice their first time because he has literally never had another human hand on his dick and john’s touch throws his refractory period out the window

9

MOODBOARD –  Remus Lupin

Remus Lupin; lover of libraries and Honeydukes chocolate, who would rather throw a spider out the window than kill it. Dark circles sat beneath his amber eyes, blending in with the harsh scars that lined his face. He was a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma, hidden by a floppy fringe and a shy smile. He was a constant, niggling puzzle, like a splinter than one couldn’t work loose. (x)

things that are banned from the attic (nursey & dex)
  • ok the first thing to go: nursey breaks up with some douchebag his junior year (he and dex get r&h’s dibs ofc) and he literally plays like needed me by rihanna on repeat for weeks until dex is like “WHAT DO I NEED TO DO TO GET YOU TO STOP BLASTING THAT SONG LITERALLY I DONT CARE I WILL SUCK YOUR DICK NURSEY” and like… its right at the end of the song….. and like ….there is an extended silence………..and then nursey just grins and says “promise?” and dex wants to jump out the window but also throw nursey out of it & long story short chowder has to pry dex off of the window sill & its traumatic. rihanna is banned.
  • dex likes to watch like, tutorials on how to fucking build porches and desks and like comparisons between cedar or oak and like weird shit, right? and nursey hates it bc hell come home and dex is just sitting there intensely watching this dude talk about plywood for 20 minutes like its interesting when HE has things to talk about. he gets so fed up that he literally closes dexs laptop w/o his permission and is like “if u think fucking clark martin’s 21 subscriber ass is more important than me uve got another thing fucking coming poindexter” and they get into a screaming fight at 2am and. home improvement tutorials are banned.
  • nursey starts lowkey banging this lax bro and his cologne is super fucking pungent. also dex is allergic to it. he lays down in nurseys bed and breaks out in hives. its the lax bro or dex. lax bros are banned.
  • nursey also rlly likes candy and he has the biggest sweet tooth & he loves lollipops. u kno where im going with this. dex sees him eat one, one time. instant ban.
  • dex does some stalking on nurseys facebook & learns that 14 year old nursey was ready 2 hop on gerard way’s cock hardcore. so. hence the 100+ pictures of gerard way plastered all over everything nursey owns. banned under the threat of nursey moving into chowders room.
  • dex got into 7th heaven bc of jack their freshman year ((i have this weird headcanon that jacks really only caught up with the 90s the rest is beyond him)) & now he watches it when he misses him so in retaliation nursey watches martin bc theres like no poc in 7th heaven dex & basically they have a 90s sitcom fight is what im saying & it ends with nursey trying to drown out sister sister w/ seinfeld & its a hot fucking mess, so. 90s sitcoms = BANNNNED.
  • any and all mention of the 2016 winter screw. u dont want 2 kno. fuckin unspoken rule right there, brah. banned for the sake of their friendship.
  • the words “fight me” under any circumstances. dex said it once & they accidentally broke nurseys desk chair. then he said it another time & they broke a lamp. but it got banned bc tbh nursey popped a boner one time & that was weird. banned under the pretense that they keep breaking things.
  • any and all memes past 3am or before 12pm, banned 4 self preservation on nurseys part. ((this includes roadies, he doesnt want to talk abt it))
  • the words “no homo” (dex) followed by “yes homo” (nursey). banned right after the first time they kiss. ((then again after they fuck))

ok ok ok but concept: holtzmann being super protective of erin after what they all dub ‘the train incident’ and she’s always over exaggerating her worry: “wait erin that screwdriver could spontaneously combust give it here” “holtz what-” “it COULD ok” 

“since when do you need chopsticks to eat chinese food??? GIMME” “holtz you can’t just throw my utensils out the window every time i eat” “i CAN and i wilL” 

ERIN” 

“WHAT”

“I. JUST. MOPPED. THE. FLOOR.”

“AND??”

“YOU’RE A TALL FRAGILE GIRRAFFE AND YOUR LEGS CAN’T TAKE IT”

“HOLTZ I SWEAR TO GOD”

Emo Quartet's feelings

tøp-“iF YoU OnLy LiSTEn To BlURRy FaCe YoU MuST leAVe.yOU ArE A fAkE FAn.i’VE LIStEned To THeM EvEr SiNCe I LEfT tHE wOmB.”

P!ATD-“RYDEN WAS REAL AND THE GOVERNMENT KNOWS IT!”

FOB-*Throwing bricks at Windows* “HAHAHA MORE LIKE SELL OUT BOY HAHA.”

MCR-*Smudges eyeliner everywhere while rocking back and forth in a corner while quietly chanting 9/23/16*

anonymous asked:

roommate love triangle au ;;)))

a dose of otp and ot3 ;;;^))

  • so i was spending my sweet time ogling your freshly-showered-oops-i-forgot-my-clothes look but then i realised i wasn’t the only one and–
  • we keep on getting into the most petty fights over irrelevant stuff and you always have to put your foot down and intervene before we accidentally throw each other out the window or make out

  • i was starting to stress because i’m starting to get attracted to our roommates and i was really worried until you let it slip that so are you

  • i’m trying really hard not to feel jealous but every time i see you guys doing the dishes together or napping together i just
  • i can’t fathom how oblivious you are that two of your roommates are totally whipped for you and now at this point we’re just trying to most ludicrous things until you finally realise
  • we spent so much time psyching each other while fighting over you, that you ended up thinking that we had some crazy sexual tension and wow

- jo

Jack Morrison has never smoked a cigarette much less weed. He finds Ana making brownies and asks for one, she forgets which batch is which and gives him the pot ones by mistake. He eats three because super soldier means super metabolism.

Reyes finds him basically melted into his desk chair. Jack can’t even get up and instead just starts blathering about how awesome and cool Reyes is and how much he looks up to him. Reyes is very pleased and thinks he should get Jack high more often

Jack’s train of thought is ruined when McCree walks in, because he sees the belt and starts crying from how awful it is. Reyes almost throws McCree out the window for ruining this moment. Morrison promptly falls asleep as soon as McCree’s been yelled out the room.

MATTHIAS AND NINA

U HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH THIS TWO MADE ME EMOTIONAL 

BECAUSE AT THE BEGINNING I DIDN’T KN OW WHAT TO THINK AND THEN HE TRIED TO STRANGLE HER AND THEN THE TRUTH CAME OUT AND ALL THE WHILE THE WERE “I WANT TO KILL NO I WANT TO BANG YOU BUT I REALLY HATE YOU NO WAIT I LOVE YOU”

AND THEN

ANDTHEN THAY WERE IN THE ICE COURT AND IT WAS ALL GOING TO SHIT AND SHE WAS LOCKED AND HE WAS OUT THERE AND I STARTED SCREAMING AND SCREECHING AND WAILING BECAUSE MATTHIAS NO WHAT THE FUCK R U DOING 

BUT IT WAS ONE GLORIOUS BLUFF AND HE MADE THE PROMISE TO HER

HE 

MADE 

THE

DRUSKELLE

VOW 

TO

HER

AND I WAS SO NOT OKAY I WAS ON MY MERRY WAY TO THROW THE KIKNDLE OUT OF THE WINDOW HE CALLS HER LITTLE RED BIRD I SHIP IT SO HARD

AND THEN ALL THE CLUSTERFUCKK AND I NEED HER TO KISS HIM UNCOUSCIOUS OK GOOD