For the past year and a half, I’ve ran past the same modest bungalows in the looping neighborhood behind my apartment complex. A neighborhood secluded enough that I run on the road without any problems. I watch the people going about their work - mowing lawns, grilling, playing with their kids, walking their dogs. Just living their lives in a way that’s deeply reminiscent of my own upbringing in a similar neighborhood.
For all of that time, I’ve always thought about my own future as I run by those houses and those people. And for all of that time, I’ve seen that future through a shared lens and some limitation based on another’s goals and needs. Today I realized I’m beginning to see that future through a more abstract lens, with less specificity. But also through a lens where I feel I have some more variance to consider. It’s freeing in a way to think of things that didn’t seem reasonable before that now may be within reach.
I’m by no means saying that my past relationship was restricting me in any negative way, but only that I now see a sea of options before me and have more room to imagine the possibilities. I’m still mourning and will be for a while. That’s not gone. But I need to harness this freedom to someday find a person whose path will join mine and continue to open up new doors instead of closing them without considering their consequences.