through purgatory

A Word to Describe You -Preference-

Originally posted by netflixruinedmylifeimagines


Dean couldn’t stop grinning. Normally Dean was annoyed when Bobby chose him for gun cleaning duty but he had been more than happy to help when you had been assigned the task. You were both sitting out in the salvage yard. Dean watched as you sang along with the radio, cleaning the pistols and rifles expertly without a second thought. It was supposed to be raining today but there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. It seemed like no matter what the sun was always shining when you were around. In general, Dean found that everything was always better when you were around. It didn’t matter if it was a hunt, a road trip, or a food run. You just always made everything better. Dean thought you were far better than anything he could ever hope to deserve and he was still confused everyday as to why you had chosen him. He was grateful for whatever it was. It meant that he was able to enjoy moments like this. You looked up at him and gave Dean the smile that was reserved for him. A smile so genuine it physically hurt Dean to look at it. He smiled back, or really just looked back because he hadn’t stopped smiling since he’d returned home to you yesterday. You laughed and went back to work. Dean continued to stare, mesmerized. You were everything he never thought he’d ever get to have. You were happiness.


Sam shouldn’t be alive. The hunt had took a bad turn and he should be dead. But you were there. Somehow you were in the right place at the right time and Sam was alive. Ever since Sam had met you things always seemed to happen that way. The motel just happened to have one room left and it just happened to be half price. Dean managed to choose the right boxes on his scratch offs to win $500 everytime. The fleeing monster would accidently take a wrong turn that led to a dead end. Nothing bad could happen when you were around. It became statistically impossible. Sam was brought out of his thoughts when you came and sat across his lap. You wrapped your arms around him and tucked your head into his neck and closed your eyes. Before long you had drifted off to sleep. He kissed your forehead and smiled. Because of you he was the luckiest man on earth, in every way imaginable. He grabbed the remote and turned on the TV to find them showing his favorite movie. He laughed to himself. You really were his lady luck.


Cas kept watch as you slept. You both had just finished a hunt that left you exhausted. After you showered you had kissed Cas goodnight and immediately thrown yourself on the lumpy motel bed. You were asleep within seconds. It always surprised Cas how quickly you could fall asleep. Everything about you surprised Cas, really. He couldn’t believe that someone who had been through what you had could manage to stay such a good person. The evidence of your hardships lay all across your sleeping form. You were covered in scars, some old and some fresh. You had bruises all along your knuckles and a few on your ribs. Your bones had been broken numerous times and Cas lost track of how many broken noses he had to heal for you. You’d been to Hell, fought in heaven and ran through purgatory, like the honorary Winchester that you were. You’d seen the worst of humanity, monsters, and heavenly beings (including Castiel himself). Yet somehow through all of that you somehow managed to remain optimistic and happy. You laughed at Dean’s dumb jokes and Sam’s stupid pranks. You tried to see the good in everyone even when there wasn’t a shred of decency in them. No matter what, each day you woke with a smile and told Cas you how much you loved him every night. You rolled over in your sleep and felt around on the bed. When you found his hand you gripped it tight and sighed. Your breathing evened back out and you were fast asleep again. Castiel smiled. You truly were fascinating.

Bonus: Bobby

There was only one thing Bobby could think of to describe you. Trouble. If you weren’t off in some corner making out with Dean you were distracting Sam from his research and work. If Cas was around you ignored all the work Bobby needed you to do to watch cartoons with him instead. You ate all his food, used all his ammo, and refused to help with the dishes. Sure, you helped stop a couple of apocalypses but what did that matter when he couldn’t walk 2 feet in his own house without tripping on one of your bloodied flannels? He could hear you and Dean giggling upstairs. They’re supposed to be translating rituals he thought. Seconds later something hit the ground and shattered. “That wasn’t me!” you called out. Bobby sighed but couldn’t keep from laughing. What was he gonna do with you?

I see people saying that after everything Flint has done, it would not make sense to give him a happy ending. That he does not deserve it. That the Treasure Island quotes about him dying as a drunk in Savannah means that he will end up miserable for the next thirty-five years, slowly drinking himself to death. 

I don’t see this. Try as I might, I don’t see this. 

By sheer logic alone, I don’t see this. 

For four seasons, Black Sails had James Flint at its center, in a long-stretching arc that focused on his journey - his tragic past, his lost love, his war against England and, lately, civilization as whole - it focused on the purity of his motives and the evilness of his deeds, the inherent selfishness of his actions and his utter self-denial, weighing one thing against the other. It showed us in great detail how deeply unhappy and depressed he is, and how ready is to let go of that war and yet incapable of it because he has literally nothing else. 

How would it makes sense to have this character end up in perpetual misery? Why would anyone come to the conclusion that the writers of something which

  • started as a tragedy, with Flint’s entire life taken from him
  • remained a tragedy throughout - because at the time that Flint had shown his willingness to redeem himself - at the time he had agreed to sacrifice himself for the sake of Nassau, and to answer for his crimes by standing trial in England - all of that was taken from him once more through betrayal, and left him even more bereft than before
  • showed a character being miserable for four seasons with no reprieve whatsoever except from a couple of moments with a flickering of hope, which was then swiftly snuffed out 

would be so cruel and cynical to have that suffering extend over a span of thirty-five years between the end of the show and Flint’s death in Treasure Island? When these same writers have shown us, time and again, their deep understanding and compassion for their messy, flawed, beautiful characters. 

Flint’s tragedy has been the fact that he hasn’t been able to let go of his war. It’s not even any longer about revenge. What Miranda said in season two holds true, now more so than ever. Flint keeps fighting for the sake of fighting, but it’s no longer out of shame but because there is nothing else left for him. 

Now, when the game changing that we know is coming - the game changer that we know will happen in the next two episodes - and makes Flint stop fighting, gives him the strength to walk away, then how would it make any kind of sense to deny him even a hint of something that is worth living for? 

In what world of storytelling would it make sense to cast a character who has just gone through purgatory back into hell?

An Actual Scene From Supernatural:

Dean: Cas! *laughs* Damn, it’s good to see you.
Dean: [brushes a finger across Cas’ cheek] Nice peach fuzz.

Castiel: How did you find me.
Dean: The bloody way. You feeling okay?

Benny: Why’d you bail on Dean?
Dean: [defensively] Dude.
Benny: The way I hear it you two hit monster land and hot wings here took off. I figure he owes you some back story.
Dean: Look, we were surrounded, okay? Some freak jumped Cas, obviously he kicked it’s ass, right?
Cas: [ashamed] No.
Dean: [dumbfounded] What?
Cas: I ran away.
Dean: [disbelieving] You ran away??
Cas: I had to.
Dean: That’s your excuse for leaving me with those gorilla wolves?
Cas: Dean.
Dean: You bailed out and what, went camping? - I prayed to you Cas, every night.
Cas: I know.
Dean: You know and you didn’t… [taken aback] what the hell’s wrong with you?
Cas: I am an angel in a land of abominations. There have been things hunting me from the moment we arrived.
Dean: Join the club!
Cas: These are not just monsters, Dean, they’re leviathan! I have a price on my head, and I’ve been trying to stay one step ahead of them, to… to keep them away from you. That’s why I ran.
Dean: [relaxes] [understands]

Dean: Hold on, hold on. Cas, we’re getting out of here. We’re going home. 
Cas: Dean, I can’t.
Dean: You can.

Dean: Hey, we’ll figure it out. Cas, buddy, I need you.
Cas: [brokenly] Dean…


Dean: Let me bottom-line it for you. I’m not leaving here without you. Understand?
Cas: I understand.


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Drunk Crush Ramblings

In which Grantaire and Eponine whine about their crushes and Montparnasse keeps his silent

featuring: Jehanparnasse, Enjolras, & Eposette. Innuendoes, Sass & Pining

“So, that’s how threesomes happen, right? A no strings attached kind of thing? Though I could do with some ropes.”

Montparnasse snorted, pressing the neck of his beer bottle against his mouth. It wasn’t even the nice kind of beer; it was the first price piss Eponine kept in her fridge in case she had guests to entertain. Montparnasse was a classier guest than most, but the bottle of vodka they had nursed between the three of them―Grantaire, Eponine, and himself―lay empty on the coffee table, so the bottled urine would have to do.

“Oh Honey,” Montparnasse smirked, his head lolling dramatically towards Grantaire, “you couldn’t handle me in bed if you tried.”

“I have very large hands,” Grantaire retorted, wiggling his eyebrows.

Sprawled on the couch, his leg stadling the arm rest, Grantaire looked even more like a mess than he usually did. But he was a tolerable mess, and an entertaining one at that, so Montparnasse just played along and nudged his thigh from his end of the couch. Across from them, slumped on a moth-eaten armchair, Eponine was giggling at them.

“Didn’t think you’d be so eager to fuck Enjolras out of your head, R,” she said, whistling slightly in her beer bottle.

Montparnasse quirked an eyebrow in her direction. The name was familiar, but he had never been bothered to learn the names of all of Grantaire’s friends. The man was an IKEA kit who came which too many spare parts.

“Blondie,” Eponine explained.

Oh. A sly smile grew on Montparnasse’s lips, and he reached for the cigarettes he kept in his jacket.

“Blondie, eh?” he quipped, a cigarette locked at the corner of his lips. “Typical. I’m even slightly disappointed.”

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There seems to be some interest in talking about Ashes to Ashes so I thought that I’d toss out some thinkie-thoughts and see if anyone wants to play.   @crinklybrownleaves​, @breakfast-at-bateses​, @mindibindi​ dared to mutter something along these lines.

I don’t do meta or anything that technical.  It’s more things that I’ve noticed.  I’ve watched the show…well, a lot…and yet each time that I rewatch, I see something more. This is one of the densest shows I’ve ever watched, with layers of meaning and symbolism, so surely I’m missing plenty of stuff.  Feel free to share your own thinkies or tell me I’m full of shit.

*SPOILERS BELOW CUT* (yeah, I’m that old to use that term)

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Umineko Ramblings: The Structure of The Umineko Universe

Since there’s a lot of confusion in this regard I’ve tried to come up with a graphic and an explaination on the Umineko universe. Note that there’s no clear explanation about it through all Umineko and that this is a fantasy world so, when Ryukishi created it, he made up its rules.

This is how I understand it. As usual I might be wrong so you’re free to reject my interpretation and make up your own.

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The Trials

Summary: You try to stay hopeful and supportive as Sam faces the trials to close the gates of Hell, but fate has other plans for the two of you.

Pairing: Sam x Reader

Word Count: 1277

Warnings: Angst, a little language. I don’t know what happened to my usual peppy self, but I wanted to keep it close to canon. I’m sorry!

A/N: This is for @impala-dreamer and @idreamofhazel’s Sammy Says 1K/2K celebration challenge. Congratulations! My quote was “You know this whole ‘I laugh in the face of death thing’? It’s crap. I can see right through it.” As a special celebration treat for Beka and Hazel, I decided to do a Sam x Reader. But, it got a little angsty. Sorry! I was watching Season 8 with Trials Sam, so it’s not entirely my fault the angst happened.

It been weeks since Sam had killed the hellhound at Cassity Ranch. Weeks since he had completed the first trial, and now he was ready to do the second one. Kevin had called after cracking the tablet, and the three of you were planning on driving out there in the morning to get the details.

Now, you weren’t stupid. You could tell that the trials were already starting to take their toll on Sam, and they had barely begun. He tried to hide it, but something was definitely happening to him. Something you and Dean didn’t like.

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byebyebriar  asked:

"I hate you" I say writing what's looking like 50K worth of slow burn Office AU Rarepair that I might never finish. "I was out. OUT! I got into popular pairings! Some were even canon! I was raised from Hell, moving through Purgatory, Heaven was in sight!" Adds another plot point crying. "But YOU. Queen of Hell! You dragged me back! With your stupidly well done pairings! And devastatingly good fics!" Finishes a scene, my only joy in this part of shipper hell. "Lady Blackkat, I hate & love you."

Tbh this is such a compliment and I am so gleeful right now.  💕

Don’t Fear the Reaper Chapter 50: Topside

Sam Winchester x Reader

1050 Words

Story Summary: You are a reaper, actually one of Death’s favorites.  You’ve been following the story of the Winchesters for a while, staying out of sight, never letting them see you. You slowly fall in love with Sam, even though he doesn’t know you exist. But that all changes one day. Set in Season 5

Catch Up Here: Masterpost

After your declaration that you didn’t want to feel again, Crowley was silent. Sipping his whiskey, he cocked his head as he looked at you. Sitting in his chair, feeling like you were being judged, you waited for his answer.

“Y/N,  I don’t know what you went through in Purgatory. I’ve never been fond of the place myself, and I stay away from it. But I do know what happened topside, and I know that Sam has torn the place apart trying to get you back.”

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When Faith Returns

Supernatural Creations Challenge | blissfulcastiel
↳ Prompt: {Word} Faith
Tags: Gen, Benny POV, blood 

It’s never silent in Purgatory. Not really. There are times when it seems every damned soul is holding their breath, an eerie still settling between the trees. But if you listen closely, there’s always someone screamin’.

Tonight’s one of those nights.

Well, now it is. Benny yanks his blade out of ground, where it had been buried when he took off the head of some corrupted bastard. He was just mindin’ his own business, settling down at the base of an ancient tree to rest his feet, when he was jumped from above. The fang snarled and made such a show at trying to get at Benny’s throat. Must’ve been new to Purgatory – maybe freshly turned before he was sent to his second life – because it didn’t take Benny longer than a minute to get the upper hand and introduce him to a more permanent death.

Benny holds up the jagged blade, the dark blood covering the edge. That ever-present dry thirst constricts his throat. He’s so damn thirsty. He’s even more convinced this was a newborn vamp because the smell, the one that only comes from fresh, human blood, is nearly driving Benny delirious. He has no control over himself. He swipes his tongue along the blade, careful not to slice his tongue, and growls lowly at the warm taste.

He’s not sure when the last time he fed was. Couple weeks? A month? That’s the thing about Purgatory. Not only is every day a fight to survive, but it’s done while starving. It can really drive someone insane. They’re all reduced to nothing more than the reason they all ended up here in the first place. It don’t matter if you had an ounce of humanity up top. They’re all the same here.

When the hunger starts to become more demanding, Benny shifts his attention to the corpse, ripping open the dirtied shirt and sinking his fangs into the shoulder since there’s not much left of the neck to latch onto. He drinks all he can from the corpse, trickles of blood dripping down his chin as he pulls away.

It’s the most he’s had in however long, and the thirst may be quenched, but the hunger’s still there. Always still there. Benny feels like he could be sick.

How was he able to do this up top? How was it, for so many years, he was able to take life away and not bat an eye when he and his nest sunk ship after ship? An even more disturbing question – how is it that, in Purgatory, he can’t bring himself to drown that last little spark of humanity in him? He knows why, though.


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From Trials Springs Love

Author: @photogirl894

Original Imagine Link: Imagine you were the one to undertake the Trials instead of Sam and, while watching you go through it all, Dean gets really worried and he realizes he’s actually in love with you.

Word count: 5,064

Warnings: none

Summary: Based on the SPN Season 8 finale with the addition of my OC, Ava, and a couple other changes.


Dean was sitting in his bedroom in the Men of Letters bunker with his normal, half drank bottle of beer on the bedside table and his head in his hands. There was so much on his mind right now: finding a case, making sure to look after Sam, wondering where Castiel was yet again…

But most of all…he was worried sick about Ava.

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8.19: The second trial: freeing a soul from hell and delivering it unto heaven.

(Unto, that’s how God talks…)

Crowley’s wormed his way inside Kevin’s head, Sam and Dean discover “rogue reapers” who help smuggle souls where they shouldn’t be.

They just happen to stumble across the one who was paid by Crowley to take Bobby’s soul to hell…

Dean tries to insist that because it’s Bobby’s soul on the line, he should go with Sam because Sam’s already been compromised by the first trial, but Sam insists he needs to do it alone. Dean trusts him and lets him go… but the reaper doesn’t take Sam directly to hell, they detour through Purgatory.

Like the seam that Purgatory opened to eject Dean– a human soul who does not belong there– an alternate seam opens to push Sam out into Hell.

Meanwhile Kevin tries to convince Dean that Crowley knows where he is and suggests they should move out, find another place to hide out (YOU SHOULD’VE LISTENED TO HIM DEANO)

But Dean tries to break it to Kevin that there is no end when Kevin says he can’t take it anymore.  Dean says it gets easier when you accept the hand life dealt him. Then Kevin steals his pie.


Crowley kills the reaper, and now Sam has no ride back from Purgatory… But Naomi shows up at the houseboat to pass that message along to Dean, along with some other terrible (LIES!) information about Cas. But it’s just enough to inspire some doubt:

DEAN: Oh, I know who you are. And I know what you did to Cas after he got out of Purgatory.
NAOMI: After I rescued him from Purgatory, you mean, at the cost of many angels’ lives.
DEAN: You screwed with his head and had him spy on us.
NAOMI: Well, it is true that I have spoken with Castiel many times, trying to reach out to him, trying to help him. Dean, you must have noticed how Purgatory changed him. I mean, he’s been unstable in the past, but I was shocked at how damaged he is now.
DEAN: Stop, okay? Don’t – don’t try to spin this. You think I don’t know that you told him to try and kill me?
NAOMI: Hmm. Yeah, I suppose that is how he would hear it. When I learned of the Angel tablet, I did tell Castiel to get it at any cost. That’s my job – to protect heaven. I’m a warrior, just as you are. What would you expect? And now Castiel is in the wind with a hydrogen bomb in his pocket, and I – I’m scared, for all of us.
DEAN: Save it. See, I don’t trust Angels, which means I don’t trust you.
NAOMI: And yet you haven’t warded this place against us. I know. You’re hoping Castiel will return to you. I admire your loyalty. I only wish he felt the same way. I know you don’t want to believe it, Dean, but we’re on the same side – shutting the Gates of Hell, bringing Castiel in from the cold. Take a moment. Think about what I’ve said. Oh. I know you’ve been doing business with Ajay. He did mention, didn’t he, that his way into Hell is through Purgatory? I knew you’d want to know. You see, we can be of help to each other.

Sam gets a very small taste of what Dean lived through in Purgatory before finding the portal to Hell. All the info Sam uses to convince Bobby that he’s really himself ARE DETAILS THAT BOBBY TOLD DEAN. NOT SAM. He’d made Dean promise never to tell anyone, but of course Dean would tell Sam…

Dean follows Naomi’s tip about Ajay since it’s really the only thing she said to him that he COULD verify for himself, and he discovers Ajay dead. But he believes at least THAT bit of info, and calls on Benny to rescue Sam from Purgatory, which means asking Benny to die for him…

DEAN: Benny, sending you back there is the last thing I ever wanted to do.
BENNY: I know. I know.
DEAN: But my little brother is stuck down there.
BENNY: This would be the little brother who wants to kill me, right?
DEAN: You got access to the place.
BENNY: By “access,” you mean “getting beheaded”?
DEAN: Yeah, you’re right – it’s too much. It’s not like I’ve exactly been there for you lately.

But Benny agrees to do it. He doesn’t feel like he fits anywhere– not with vampires, not with humans…

BOBBY: Dean spent a year in this place?
SAM: Running and fighting, all day, every day.
BOBBY: Must have been hell on you not being able to get him out all that time. You did try?
SAM: Look, Bobby, Dean and I had an agreement, okay?
BOBBY: I know that agreement. I taught you that agreement. That’s a non-agreement. I get the feeling a lot must have happened while I was gone.


But Dean finally trusts Sam’s assessment of Benny’s decision to stay behind in Purgatory, that it was really Benny’s choice.

Crowley tries to stop Bobby’s soul from rising to Heaven, but Naomi intervenes. So Crowley focuses on his other project: Getting to Kevin through his mother.

Why is it always mothers getting used against their kids…

“This is Castiel.”

Dean introducing Mary to Cas (and Cas to Mary) is my new most favorite moment of Supernatural, ever.

Overall, Dabb did a fantastic job of telling a story in 12.01. He adhered to the number-one rule of great storytelling: show, don’t tell. Like this moment, for instance:

They don’t say it explicitly, but we all know what Dean is thinking. It’s hilarious and beautiful and well-communicated without a single word spoken.

But the moment I really want to talk about is this one:

How can he even possibly begin to explain Castiel to his mother? How does he put together in words just what this man means to him? There are so many words he wants to use, for which they don’t have time.

This is the angel who pulled me out of Hell after 40 years of pain; the angel who put me back together, every single piece of me, after my body and mind and soul were all but gone. This is the angel who broke ranks in Heaven to stand by Sam and me at the end of the world; who when push came to shove, chose time and again and again and again to put me– us– above his heritage. This is the friend I walked through Purgatory looking for for a year, and who came back to me and Mom, we’ve been through so very, very much together, so much that telling you the story of who this is, no holds barred, would basically be me telling you every detail of everything I’ve been through in the past 12 years. And you know what? You don’t need to know all of that, not right now. But at this point our lives are so intertwined that you need to understand, Mom, Castiel is part of our family, no question. He’s my brother, my friend, maybe something else, I don’t quite know, Mom, I’m really, really confused. But we gotta jump right back into the fire because Sammy’s blood is on the floor and so we don’t have a lot of time. I’ll fill in the rest of the details later.

And it stands as a credit to the amazing writing of this scene and to Jensen’s incredible acting that he manages to pull it off: Dean communicates the weight of all of that to his mother in a three-word intro and a hug. Which, by the way

There’s plenty of “show don’t tell” going on here, too. I think that when you put it all together

Mary has a pretty good picture of what Cas is to Dean (and what Dean is to Cas) without either of them having to actually SAY anything.

This is exactly how you do subtext. This is exactly how you pace a story along in a way that doesn’t rush but packs a punch.

Bravo, everyone. Bravo.

The Sun and Moon

Written for the 13 Days of Impala Possible Halloween 

Summary: Benny didn’t expect to find anyone who would ever see him as more than the monster he was. But that diner, and you. It changed his life forever.  

Characters: Benny x Reader

Content: Fluff

Word Count: 2.3K

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My heart feels empty and devastated after watching Cas die. I never met him, I was never touched by his smile or his grace. I did not go through hell heaven and purgatory with him. He did not rebelled time and again for me. He did not die to save the world so I could be happy. Yet I love him with all my heart. And his loss is monumental. But Dean did know him. And went through all these things with him. And watched him die. Collapsed besides his lifeless body. Dean saw the light go out of Cas eyes and watch the person he loves fade away. I can’t even for a moment imagine how Dean must feel.
For all my hurt I know Cas is truly loved by one person who will mourn his loss more than all of us combined.