throttle kings

disappoint me daddy
  • dan and phil play dream daddy!! i messaged people abt this like a week and a half ago and immediately thought oh no what hell have i wished upon us but it is HERE
  • to be fair i am on my second watch so this isn’t. reacting
  • 0:47 and dan is already talking about barebacking i want to delete all of this

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The Easy Way (Part 5)

Description: THE FINALE! Reader meets Crowley for the first time under some “unusual” circumstances. After dropping a bombshell, the reader learns who he is and quickly gets caught up in something much much bigger than intended.
Words: 3,314 (I got carried away! What a shame!)
Warnings: Badly translated latin.

Author’s Note: So I wasn’t inspired and then ALL THE INSPIRATION AT 2AM. The gif marks ~1,850 and a point you can come back to so it’s 2 parts for the price of one! Here’s your finale ladies and gents… and what a finale it became!! I have enjoyed this series sooo much and thanks to those who stuck with it!! My favourite to date if I’m honest!

part 1,  part 2,  part 3,  part 4

Cogs in an infinitely complex machine. You weren’t ever really in control, were you? The past few weeks proved that more than ever before and you began to wonder who had the controls to the machine, surely if there was a God, he was having a good laugh at your expense now. Caught in between a rock and a hard place. Well, between an archangel and the king of hell, a rock and a hard place was possibly preferable and even then it was quite likely you’d blast the rock to hell with this ‘power’.

“Cat got your tongue, sweetcheeks? You’ve been tinkering all afternoon,” Gabriel said from where he was lounged about on the bed.

You heaved a sigh and ran a hand over your face, he was right, but equally you needed to get the spell right first time. You had been trawling through books and old scribbled notes for a few days but nothing more than this had turned up. If you didn’t try it, Gabriel’s power would kill you slowly. If you tried and failed, Crowley would probably get wind of it and kill you and if you tried and succeeded well then it was a red rag to Rowena or Crowley.

“If you feel like engraving pig bones with strange symbols, be my guest,” you muttered, fighting a retch as you etched in yet another sigil.

“I’m good,” he shrugged, “so is this going to work then?”

“God knows. I have this spell, it’s dark and seems almost impossible and even then it’s only for a normal angel,” you said before raising an eyebrow at him, “and I’m guessing you’re not in that bracket?”

“I like to think I’m one of a kind.”

“Exactly. Then this whole thing could be pointless anyway,” you said sarcastically picking up the last rib bone.

Gabriel stayed silent for a moment before he clicked his fingers and dissappeared, you didn’t hear him leave but you felt it, there were certain perks to sharing his power at the moment. He refused to walk in and out of your motel room due to the demons Crowley still had following you, but you supposed you couldn’t blame him really. Gabriel could easily kill them but you’d learned he had a habit of hinting at being helpful before bailing out just as quickly.

As for other help? You’d contacted Rowena only yesterday and with some ruder comments omitted, her reply had gone something along the lines of:

“Well don’t look at me for help, you knew full well what you were doing.”

A dissaproving eye roll from Gabriel as a bubbling sound came from your coffee as it began to boil in its mug and, well, it had snapped you out of your conversation. You’d quickly hung up and mopped up the boiling liquid, consequently though, you hadn’t tried contacting her for tips since.

It was becoming harder to control now, keeping a cap on the power was more like trying to stick plasters on a sinking ship. Each time one problem was masked, another leak would spring into life where you least expected it. And seeing as everyone seemed to love reminding you that it was killing you, that didn’t make for a stress free environment. You took a deep breath and steeled yourself again, no emotions was the best control. And boy did you need that control.

Scratching the last of the sigils into the bone, you put it with the others and looked back to the book. You were basically finished on ingredients, it was simply setting everything up now. You needed an open space and it needed to be a night with a full moon which, luckily, was next in a few days. You snapped your head up as someone knocked on the door, you pursed your lips and stayed still in the vain hope they’d picked the wrong room, but another knock put that theory to rest. Muttering under your breath and throwing a few jackets over your little project, you made your way to the door and opened it just a little.

“Well nice to see you too,” Crowley muttered, peering around the gap.

“What are you doing here?” You replied coolly.

“Checking up on an investment,” he said, gesturing for him to come in, “may I?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“Not really,” he smiled, taking a step through the door you begrudgingly opened. You bit your lip as he walked to the center of the room and your eyes flicked over to the pile of spell ingredients that were thankfully just about covered. “So, how’s it going?”

“Aside from your mother being an evasive hag and knowing that I’m slowly dying? Peachy.”

“Touchy,” he winced, “you know becoming a recluse won’t help,” he said, burying his hands in his pockets. He waited for your response but at the deafening silence, he spoke again, “any news? A few friends of mine say you’ve been holed up in here an awful lot, not even got food going in and out?”

“I had supplies,” you snapped, silently cursing to yourself. You hadn’t thought anything of Gabriel bringing you a few snacks here and there, you should have known it’d get noticed quickly.

“Huh,” Crowley said with a shrug, his eyes looked behind you at the jackets on the table, “and uh, you’ve been clothes shopping? Didn’t take you for the hair and nails type.”

“Yeah, well I couldn’t wear the same clothes on my back for God knows how long.”

“True,” he said, pulling a face, “you could have at least chosen better styles though, you might as well just wear the same thing. Actually, I know a guy who wears a trench coat all the time and only really changes his tie, it’s-”

“Do you have a point?” You cut him off.

“Conversation, dove, you might want to try it sometime,” he paused, but when you didn’t crack a smile he rolled his eyes and contined, “Not even a smirk? Bloody hell, tough crowd today. Anyway, I wanted to ask if you had any idea on which feathery friend you’re linked to, yet?”

“No clue.”

“That’s it,” he said incredulously, “nothing at all?”

“No,” you shrugged, “I don’t know what you want me to say, this information isn’t exactly the stuff you can google.”

“But Rowena-?”

“Is unhelpful and would prefer I die a slow death while she sips a cup of tea.”

Crowley looked at if he were going to say something more when he too, shrugged and let out a huff of frustration, “so not even a smidgen of-?”


“Christ, lighten up, you’ll get worry lines,” he mumbled, readjusting his jacket, “I was trying to be civil.”

“Really, don’t strain yourself-” you stopped suddenly as your eyes focused behind him on the person suddenly stood there looking at you with wide eyes. You stifled a gasp as they fell to the ground and you felt a sudden jolt of panic in your stomach.

That’s all you’d felt, but suddenly Crowley was gone along with the entire motel room, replaced instead by a large sprawling field. You felt your breath catch and your heart beginning to pound as you looked around wildly. There was nothing, no buildings, no sign of anything to tell you where you were.

“Hello?” You risked in a low voice, stumbling forwards a few steps, “Crowley?!”

If it was some form of ridiculous lesson from him then you may actually throttle him, king of hell or not.

“HELLO,” you yelled out, but the only sound that met your ears was the soft rustling of grass in the wind. You dug the toe of your boot into the ground, it was definitely real and that was encouraging, but where the hell was it. And if this was real… was the figure that you’d just seen?

Walking forwards a few steps, you could feel your hands starting to shake so you stopped dead still and closed your eyes. You needed to gather your thoughts, too much panic, too much emotion and anything could happen.

The wind ruffled your hair slightly and you could feel the heat from the sun beating down on your skin. You had to focus, deep breaths and calming thoughts and after a minute, you returned your breathing back to a normal rate. You opened your eyes and looked around at the quiet expanse before speaking in a soft voice, “Gabriel, if you can hear me, come and find me.”

You waited for a few seconds, hoping for the sudden appearance of the archangel, but there was nothing.

“Gabriel, seriously, if you’re out there, come and find me, please,” you pleaded this time.

You stayed silent for a moment before you felt another jolt in your stomach and you were back in the motel room. You fell to your knees with the force of the arrival and looked up. Crowley stood exactly where you’d left him, except you were now a few steps behind him, he wasn’t facing you, with squinting eyes you followed his gaze to see he was looking at, well, another you. The other you had their mouth slightly ajar before they dissappeared suddenly in a small flash.

There was no way, no way at all that could be real. You blinked dumbly a couple of times before letting out a long, shaky breath. Crowley spun around, wide eyed and jumped back a step.

“What the devil are you doing down there, dove?” He finally spluttered after a couple of seconds of staring you out.

“I think you should leave,” you said quietly.

“Like hell I am, you’re human, you can’t just-”

“Crowley, leave,” you said again, more forcefully this time, “I don’t know what’s happening, you need to go. Now.”

He rolled his eyes and was gone in the blink of an eye, leaving you alone in the quiet motel room. You didn’t move for maybe a minute, maybe it was 10, but then shakily, you got to your feet and tried to work out if you were injured or not. Ignoring your shock, everything seemed normal (if you even knew what normal was these days), so you wandered over and sunk heavily onto the bed.

Teleporting or flying or whatever the hell that was, was one thing, however arriving back seconds before you left, when the reason you’d panicked was because of what you’d seen? It wasn’t possible.

You felt a slight twang before the bed next to you sunk down.

“Time travel 101: don’t make casual time loops,” Gabriel’s cheery voice came from beside you, “messes with your head!”

“I got that, thanks,” you mumbled, not even bothering to face him.

“Hey, chin up sweetcheeks, a lot of people dream of what you just did,” he replied, giving you a nudge, “not bad for a first time, hell, you arrived back with all your limbs!”

You stayed silent, aimlessly staring at a slight stain on the carpet half way across the room. It was real, this room was real, what just happened was-

“Also real,” Gabriel said, standing up and coming around to crouch in front of you, “look, keep calm and carry on, kiddo, if you stop now there’s no telling what’ll happen. How’s the spell?”

“Finished. Just need the full moon,” you whispered, slowly bringing your eyes to focus on the angel.

“Great, that’s what? 2 days? Easy!”

Two days was far from easy.

Crowley was attempting to contact you every few hours and Gabriel was equal parts concerned and amused by the predicaments you were ending up in. You’d been trying to stay as calm as possible but it was easier said than done when so much as a simple jump scare on a film could cause a localised power cut. If it had been more than two days, you weren’t entirely sure how much of your sanity would be left or for that matter, where you’d end up. You’d ended up on a small island off the coast of Scotland yesterday after worrying over a message from Crowley. Sightseeing was one thing but if Gabriel hadn’t found you…

You shook your head to clear your thoughts, the end was within sight, that was all you could focus on now and you could hopefully cover the cracks for just long enough. You gathered the last of the ingredients into a backpack and heaved it onto your back. The spot you had decided to use wasn’t exactly in walking distance and seeing as you still had eyes watching your every move, you had made a deal with Gabriel. His time keeping skills were uncannily good in general and you resisted a sigh of relief as you felt the familiar twang indicating his arrival.


“As ever,” you said simply, “is it set up?”

“You’ll have to check that one, Hermione, I don’t know,” Gabriel shrugged. He opened his mouth to say something more but thought better of it and settled for his usual smile before walking over and putting a hand on your shoulder.

You felt the ground shift beneath your feet and you squinted into the sudden dark. Glancing up at the moon, you felt a small smile creep onto your face, there was something enchanting about a full moon in a quiet place, something relaxing. You’d chosen a quiet beach, far away from any major civilisation for the spell, it seemed somewhat poetic but equally if something went wrong at least no one would get hurt.

“Stop worrying, geez,” Gabriel said, ambling over to the sigils and candles already set up in the sand, “I’m flattered it takes this much effort though, should be a party.”

You didn’t reply, you simply set about fiddling with the last herbs and ingredients in silence whilst the archangel stood awkwardly rocking backwards and forwards on the balls of his feet. Everything seemed to be in order within a few minutes and with a final look at the clock on your phone, you sat back on your heels and let out a sigh.

“If I die because of this-”

“Hey now, no point talking like that,” Gabriel frowned but you kept talking anyway.

“If something goes wrong, don’t let Crowley get ahold of my soul for your sake and mine, okay?” You spoke steadily, “you and I both know etiquette would be lost if I ended up downstairs.”

“That won’t happen but your wish is my command, sweetcheeks. Besides chin up, in your current state you’re more likely to end up in p-”

“I don’t want to know,” you said, quickly shaking your head, “I really really don’t want to know.”

“Suit yourself,” he smirked, “so where d'ya want me?”

“Over there,” you muttered, pointing to a small circle of sigils and symbols set apart from the rest. He wandered over and, carefully making sure he didn’t knock anything, stood in the circle. The candle flames flickered and hopped in the breeze but something, probably Gabriel, was just stopping them from blowing themselves out entirely. Rummaging in your backpack, you found the ripped out page of the spell book, both of you had decided that should this work, the page would be burned along with any copies you happened to find.

“See you on the other side,” Gabriel winked, but if you didn’t know better, he almost looked slightly nervous himself. You gave him a firm nod and began to read off of the crumpled sheet.

“Alae duae simul componantur-” you stumbled on your words slightly as you saw one of the candles beginning to burn green out of the corner of your eye. “Separabunt hospitia priuata et caelestis.”

“Well something’s happening,” Gabriel shouted over the wind which had picked up around you.

The page you were reading from shook in the wind and you were worried it would rip but you kept going. You could see Gabriel staring intently at you from his position in the sigils that were now just beginning to glow very faintly, but it seemed to be going okay.

“Separata Gabriel ab anima mea-” A sudden tremor made you stutter again and you felt almost as if you weren’t fully there from sheer adrenaline but the last few lines were in sight. You flicked the combination of herbs into the candle in front of you as you said the next line, wincing as a few sparks flew off.


A thin jet of green flame fired straight up from the candle and then there was nothing. The tips of your ears were cold and stinging from the wind bit other than that, you felt fine. You looked up at the angel who looked about as wary as you felt but the two of you stayed quiet, waiting for something. A few more seconds passed with no sound but the gentle lapping of waves on the shore disturbing you.

“Is that it?” Gabriel said, pulling a face.

“I guess so?” You replied, scanning your eyes over the page again, checking for mistakes but finding none, “do you feel any different?”

“I think I should be asking you that. Get angry, see what happens.”

“I can’t just turn it on, on command!”

“Sure you can, concentrate!”

You frowned and focused on the candle in front of you, you weren’t sure exactly what you were doing so you simply concentrated at it and hoped for the best. You concentrated hard, trying to think of all the upset from Crowley and Rowena too, but it stayed the same.

“Nothing,” you grinned, eyes darting back to the angel who was looking more than a little smug, “it’s not doing a thing!”

“Uh huh,” he said, mirroring your grin, but his eyes weren’t on you. You looked back down at the flame now burning blue and quickly back up to his cheesy grin, “oh no, that isn’t me, sweetheart.”

“What do you mean it’s not-?”

“You’re doing that,” he said, still grinning wildly, “you’re not connected to me anymore, I can feel that much but you’re a real boy, Pinochio and you’ve got no strings.”

You blinked dumbly and shook your head, “no, wait, what do you-?”

Gabriel clicked his fingers and suddenly was holding a small hand mirror. You were about to comment sarcastically on something about vanity when he turned it around to face you. It was your face, that was certain, but it was not your eyes, they were fading slowly from a glowing bright blue, tendrils of white light swam within them until they faded down to normal.

“What the hell…” you trailed off into a small whimper. That wasn’t natural, you weren’t stupid and you sure as hell had never seen that before.

“I don’t have all the answers, Y/N, but I can say you’re not human anymore,” he said, still grinning, “hey, no long faces, it’ll be easier to control now! Oh ho, I’d avoid Crowley for a while though, that’d be a fun stand off…”

You head was spinning and half of what Gabriel was saying was blurring into an incoherent mess. He was excited about something but you were still processing his first sentence. Not human.

“… You should definitely meet those two dorks now, they might just need you, oh, and my little brother, Cas, is going to have a field day trying to work you out!” Gabriel was beginning to pace a little now but he stopped when he realised your eyes had entirely glossed over. “Hey, smile kiddo, you’re a one of a kind too now!”

“Yeah great,” you said quietly, barely audible over the wind before rearranging your features into trying to look confident, “so, um, what am I?”

Gabriel let out a laugh and threw out his arms theatrically, “welcome to the big leagues, sweetcheeks, you’re a nephilim.”