Lovecraft (sung to the tune of Loveshack by the B-52's)

If you see an ancient book all wrapped up in wire that says
“DO NOT OPEN” you’re in a
Lovecraft, ia iaaaaaaaa
I’m heading down the Arkham highwaaaay
Looking for the Neeeecronomicooon
headed for the Necronomicoooooooon
I got me a book, its as old as the hills
And I’m headed on down to Miskatonic
I got me a horror, it eats about 20
Gotta hurry up before it eats my buddy

The book is an unholy gateway and it, juuuust ain’t gettin’ no better
Lovecraft, ia ia (a-Lovecraft, ia ia)
Lovecraft, ia ia Lovecraft
Lovecraft, ia ia Lovecraft
Lovecraft, ia ia Lovecraft (shit DON’T YOU DARE OPEN THAT)
Lovecraft, ia ia Lovecraft (shit DON’T YOU DARE OPEN THAT)

It makes blood ooze, when its Looovecraft
Well you’re fucking lost in the middle of the woods
There’s a funky old shack, fuck you I’m going baa~ck
Entrails on the mattress
Entrails on the hardwood
Entrails on the front porch
Entrails in the basement

The book is an unholy gateway and it, juuuust ain’t gettin’ no better
Lovecraft, ia ia (Lovecraft, ia ia)
Lovecraft, ia ia Lovecraft (FUCK WHY’D YOU OPEN THAT)
Lovecraft, ia ia Lovecraft (FUCK WHY’D YOU OPEN THAT)

Writhin’ and a-hissin’
Flailin’ and a-wailin’
Carin’ next to nothin’
Cause I got worms in my noggin
Its a space-time shimmy
Yeah, a space-time shimmy
Its a space-time shimmy when everybody summons
Cthulu f'tagn f'tagn f'tagn f'tagn
Everybody’s readin’, everybody’s bleeding
Ia Shub-Niggurath the Goat With a Thousand Yeeeoung
Everybody’s pleadin’, everybodys’ bleedin’ today
Burn the fucking book

Come see the horror, it’s as big as a whale and it’s about to eat Dale
I clawed out my eyes, I can still see it plainly
So pardon me whilst I giggle insanely

The book is an unholy gateway and it, juuuust ain’t gettin’ no better
Lovecraft, ia ia (a-Lovecraft, ia ia)
Lovecraft, ia ia Lovecraft
Lovecraft, ia ia Lovecraft
Lovecraft, ia ia Lovecraft (Why can’t we just send it back, huh?)
Lovecraft, ia ia Lovecraft (Fuck its an eldritch attack)

Bang, bang, bang from a hammer maybe
Try a little harder human
Bang, bang, bang from a shotgun maybe
I am within you
Bang, bang, bang from a uzi maybe
Scream a little louder, sugar
Bang, Bang, Bang from the army maybe
Bang bang bang on the door maybe (not gettin’ away)
Bang bang bang on the floor maybe
Bang bang (In your soul maybe)
Bang bang (in your soul)
Bang bang (in your soul maybe)
Bang bang
You’re WHO?

Lovecraft, ia ia Lovecraft
Lovecraft, ia ia Lovecraft (Why can’t we just send it back, huh?)
Lovecraft, ia ia Lovecraft (Fuck its an eldritch attack)
Lovecraft, ia ia Lovecraft
Writhin’ and a-hissin’
Flailin’ and a-wailin’
Cause it’s Lovecraft.




The Psychiatrist’s Office’ - Muppets Tonight, featuring Sandra Bullock

anonymous asked:

I'm pagan for a while and recently I'm having sudden curiosity urges towards norse paganism and heathenry I've been researching about it I think I'm being visited by Loki but I'm not sure and since I have a mental illness I have the constant fear that my dreams and upgs are not real and only an image of my sick mind. Can you help me to be sure?

Well, it’s a little trickier than that. No one can tell you whether it is, or is it not, Loki, and be 100% honest. But that is a part of the reason that we’re here; to help you make sense of these sorts of things, and investigate in a safe, non-judgemental environment.

I quite often feel the same way that you do, but a while back, threedifferentways said something to me that really helped me deal with my own doubts:

“Take notes. Question everything. Challenge anything that claims to be a god, including yourself. Demand proof. If you say you can do a thing, demand proof from yourself. Let the science side investigate. Let your other side do what it needs to do. Find the balance and go. And if anyone else says “It’s just stories”, it’s /your/ story. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself.”

The question isn’t necessarily ‘is it real?’ so much as it is ‘is it real for you?’.Do your research. Keep reading. Keep coming to us, and other Lokeans, with your questions; trust us when we say that there are no stupid questions and we will always be eager to help you out with anything you might like some more help understanding or figuring out.

If you feel it’s right for you, perhaps try leaving Loki an offering - I tend to leave him coffee, which is one of many shared UPGs amonst tumblr, but you can give him anything you think he’ll like - and simply pray. Let him know that you’re thinking about him, and would like to know his intentions. Or perhaps seek out a diviner/tarot reader that you trust to ask your questions for you. I wish you luck, anon.

- Mod T

Another applicable (paraphrased) piece of advice from coldalbion in a post that I can no longer find: If, upon reflection, something sounds like it could have been whispered by a mysterious figure in a black cloak in a cliche fantasy novel, don’t listen.

-Mod E

I Closed My Eyes For 5 Hot Seconds -

I just woke up from one of my heated dreams.

As usual, gasping for breath and feeling heavy headed, but satisfied.


I walked into an urban bungalow with white walls and hanging ceilings in need of repair. Everything was bare, with soot and ash in the corners. Tables knocked over, and boxes on the floor.

People were milling around: discussing, tending to each other, avoiding one another in groups of twos and threes.

I introduced myself. Or maybe I was approached. I can’t quite remember.
I told them my name, and they checked on a clipboard; it wasn’t quite my name, but it was what they wanted to hear. They knew more about what I was doing there than I did, apparently.

“She’ll be here in a second. She was out on business.”

Keri walks in, flanked by two accomplices. For now she appears to be in her late 20s, with short hair and a green t-shirt. She looks like Bruno Mars and a lumberjack had a baby. She’s hot, and sweaty, and angry about something. She recognizes me and in some colossal misstep I manage to touch her chest by accident. I’m promptly punched in the face and brought heavily to the ground. Keri, the beautiful woman in a green dress with a gold necklace, points aggressively at me and shouts that no one is ever allowed to touch her. She stomps off in heavy boots and jeans with kickboxing hand-wraps, and a tank top.

I’m stunned.

Sitting on the floor, back against the kitchen counter, two other people inform me of my mistake. They assure me that I’ll get it sorted out sooner or later.

I’m told I’m in a halfway house between here and ‘over there’. Everyone here is on their way somewhere. I tell them that I have no idea where I’m going or how I got here, and while they seem a bit surprised, they don’t seem worried.

I watch people come and go. Door opening and closing, hallways being flooded by white light and spewing desert heat as people walk in and out.

Keri doesn’t come back.

When I wake up, I know I’ve made it halfway to somewhere, but I still can’t figure out where.


tag: threedifferentways


I promised Keri I’d post the hat she knitted me. Isn’t it fabulous? I can and will gush for hours about it. I just love it so much. <3

Speaking of Keri, you can make a custom request or purchase some of her work over at Noxporium’s Show and Tell, etsy, and she has a ravelry account too. 

More photos will go up when I find a photographer that isn’t myself or the Necromancer.

Also, that coat contains all purse-like shit plus first aid kit, tarot cars, spellbook, two sets of gloves, a battalion of chapstick/lipgloss/etc, and a container of salt. Plus it’s ridiculously warm. That’s why it’s so bulky (that, and it’s a man’s jacket. Hey, $11 on clearance in February about four year back. I’ll take it.)

Tumblr Crushes:





Is this a thing?

Setup- drinkable divination/clarity potion as looseleaf tea, teaball on length of chain, appropriate cup and saucer.

Directions- brew tea to desired strength. Drink potion (leave the teaball in there), concentrating either on a specific question or on tuning your divination antenna more clearly. When tea is drunk, set aside cup, retaining saucer and ball. Suspend ball over saucer and gently set it twirling. The remaining tea dripping from ball should spatter in random patterns over saucer. Then either divine using teaball as pendulum and scrying the random patterns later, or see what pattern attracts the teaball most, or combine in new and interesting fashions. (Sediment may form, depending on tea- adds another layer to the fun.)

Bonus Round- Adapt your tea-potion into something deity or spirit specific. Ask about money after drinking an appropriately-themed beverage. Share a love-tea with the significant other and see what develops.

Sooooo……anyone heard of this, or am I just weird?

It’s funny, I’ve always had ridiculous dreams. Like, to the point where dreams about going shopping or taking a test were more emotionally and physically upsetting for me because I wasn’t sure if they had actually happened or not. I felt more at home in the strange and frightening than I did in the mundane.

But, the only two times I’ve ever doubted whether it was a dream or something ‘over there’ has been because of Tumblr users.

Some time ago thiscrookedcrown made a comment while I was offline that she was going to be running around 'over there’ and just having some fun, so if we saw her we should say hello. I never saw that message.

The next morning I woke up having dreamt of a acres-large flea market filled with fantastical and mundane curios, aisles upon aisles of crazy crap and I was having a blast sorting through it and coming up with witchy uses for all of it. At some point I stared seeing, in a few places, red spray paint. Half hidden behind a mirror, on the wall of a booth, on a banner…a red crown, spray painted here and there. In the dream I thought to myself “Oh look! I’ll have to tell Sam about this!”

I woke up and checked Tumblr until I reached the previous day on my dash, and sitting there is Crown’s invitation to meet up 'over there’. I literally gasped.

And then again today, when I saw Keri, I knew it was another moment where something beyond myself might be happening.

If it wasn’t for my friends on here who have given us all little tidbits about the other side and let me accumulate red flags to catch my attention, I might never know I was 'over there’ at all!

So, uh, yeah….thanks!

Yesterday, tumblr told me I had a message. I clicked on it only to look at my previous message which was answered by a nefarious person. 

Today, whilst doing my college work where I was trying to source books for my bibliography, the search bar mentioned lemons.


And then I got told to choose three tarot cards of which I turned over The Emperor, The Chariot and The Heirophant. 

I… really?