Commander NPC: “While we defend the village, we need you to strike the enemy camp. Our sorcerer can grant you temporary flight and invisibility for the trip there.”
Inquisitor: “So, how long do your spells last? How good of a sorcerer are you?”
Sorcerer NPC: “I’m one of the empire’s best spell casters! I’ve had years of training!”
Rogue: “Yeah, and half of it was just testing blind loyalty to the emperor.” And I turn around to the Commander.
Rogue: “Now I know the Empire is very close-minded about… literally everything, so I want to make ABSOLUTELY sure we’re on the same page: If the kobolds come down from the mountains to help us kill these assholes, DO. NOT. ATTACK THEM. They’re very mistrusting, I barely managed to get a’ maybe’ out of them, and they don’t need the excuse to turn this into a three-way battle. Do you understand?”
Commander NPC (Unimpressed): “I’m a soldier. I know how to work with temporary allies, even if they are among our long term enemies… mafia son.”
Rogue: “Well, if the Empire didn’t want outlaws, maybe they shouldn’t have made it a policy to persecute and slaughter the followers of the world’s most popular religion for the past seventy years. And now, *sir*, I’m going out to do your job for you. You’re welcome.” And I take off.
DM: You jump, but there’s no flight. You fall back to the ground.
Sorcerer NPC: “Oops, I’m sorry, I’m so blind, I must have missed you.”
DM: The sorcerer then casts Fly and Invisibility, as he ought to. You can make a perception check…
Sorcerer NPC: “Sir, can we really trust these people? I mean, they’re criminals! How do we know they’re not going to betray us?”
Rogue: I’m gonna double back to tap him on the shoulder…
Rogue: “Hey, if I really wanted to do anything to you, I could have done it right now. I’m off to save the world now! See ya fucker!” *peow!*
Skald: Wow. Talk about needing the last word.