three thieves

i’m hissing i just realized that parker, hardison, and eliot holding hands was like… a thing that nate felt he needed to draw attention to? like that was a long time in his story? this was something he thought was relevant information. he needed them to know that they were all poly. it was very important to him that interpol knew he was working with three polyamorous thieves.

I cannot express my joy when I discovered that this book was real…and that it was also free to purchase as an e-copy through amazon (it’s like under 100 pages so it’s a quick read). However, that joy was short lived when I actually began to read this book. Maybe it’s because of my lifestyle of memes, puns and general shit-post humour but I was expecting a book with copious amounts of chicken puns, knights wearing KFC buckets as helmets and well…a lot more steamy romance between our darling Harland Sanders and Madeline.

I feel as a long time Colonel Sanders and KFC fan I have a duty to make this story cringe worthy and yet oddly satisfying to those readers who are just like me. So grab a delicious, crispy chicken wing, ignore my spelling mistakes, general crappy grammar and enjoy. And to cover my own ass, all these characters belong to KFC and I mean no offence to anyone. Also I apologies because this got way out of hand and there’s a lot of dirty insinuations involved. Take a bible with you. Also I didn’t read this over because I’m terrified of having these thoughts in my head again. (GOODREADS REVIEW LINK:https://www.goodreads.com/review/show/1996014517?type=review#rating_117050525)

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[Bungou Stray Dogs ] 55 Minutes Part 2

Disclaimer:  [ Thank you all for being patient, I’ve been dealing with tons of things, so working on this project has been pretty difficult, anyway, thanks for continuing to follow me.  If there’s anyone else who would like to help with this project feel free to send me a message! ]


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So, rewatching Leverage, and here is a thought:

None of the team’s heists, except a couple of very specific episodes, could ever really be pulled off with three people.  The average con by the fine team at Leverage Incorporated has so many moving parts that they’ll often enough recruit even more somewhat-unwitting help from other people peripherally involved in the case.  Having five people on a team lets them grift from multiple directions and still save somebody to work from the background, lets them come from multiple angles, and means they’ve usually got backup somewhere.

So I’m thinking about Parker, Elliot, and Hardison, post-S5, and what I’m thinking is, their problem won’t be a lack of skill.  Sophie and then secondarily Nate are very much the primary grifters for the crew, but the trio have all got some solid-enough skill there.  Their problem is going to be a lack of bodies.

They’ll try a couple of jobs just the three of them, I’m sure, but after the first or second time that somebody almost gets seriously hurt because Eliot is on the other side of the city doing what ordinarily would have been Sophie’s job, it’s very clear: they need help.

It doesn’t need to be a full partner on the team, of course.  They can just add one or two people to be, like, employees for a bit.  Probationary crew members.  Parker’s all pleased about getting to boss people around.  Eliot Does Not Trust these new people.

So obviously there’s a revolving door of one-off helpers for a while, but what I’m thinking actually happens is, a couple of months in, they’re working a job with yet another really annoying temp, and they discover halfway through that somebody else is working the mark from the opposite angle.  Then they discover that it’s the mark’s fifteen-year-old adopted-for-publicity’s-sake foster kid and said foster kid’s seventeen-year-old sister.

Foster kid does not really enjoy being a poster child for the mark’s Goodness and Kindness Towards Humanity, but they do enjoy the cash.  The two girls have been playing marks since they were eight and ten.  The younger one has a great eye for details, quick fingers, and pulls off ‘sad unfortunate waif’ fantastically well.  The older one fights like a back-alley street brawler who’s won every fight she’s ever taken on the dirty way, and reads people like only a grifter who’s been working since near-birth could.  Before this job, this mark, it’s been a dozen different homes and schemes, mostly successful, in three different states.  The hope is to rip the mark off for enough cash and prizes to flee the whole Pacific Northwest and set themselves up for good.  However you do that.  How do you do that?

Of course, Annoying Temp Of The Week almost blows everything and gets them all caught, and of course, upon realizing what’s up with these two teenage girls, Parker-Hardison-Elliot almost blow everything even harder, going in to save them–but then the girls in their cleverness and gratitude get in there and repay the favor by saving the whole con, taking the mark out, and getting everybody home free.  Even the annoying temp of the week.

So once that guy’s been cut loose with his pay for the job and a ‘don’t call us–we’ll call you’, you get the trio upstairs from the brew pub, surveying these two teenage girls who just bailed them out of trouble and now have nowhere left to go but back into foster care.

“Now what are we going to do with you?” Hardison asks.

“You could keep us,” suggests the younger girl, as winningly as she can.  Three professional thieves with this kind of sweet setup?  Hell yeah.

“Uh, no, we can’t,” says Elliot.

“He’s right,” Parker agrees.  “The kinds of jobs we pull are no place for amateurs.”

“That’s not what it looked like before,” points out the older kid.  She means their temp.  She’s absolutely right.

“No, what she means is, our lives are no kind of place for kids,” Elliot growls.  He knows that’s not what Parker means, but it’s what he means.  They need decent homes and a shot at a real, non-criminal life.

“How old were you when you started?” asks the older girl.  “How did you know you were going to be thieves instead of doctors or lawyers or airline pilots?”

“We could take apprentices,” Parker muses, and that’s when Hardison and Elliot drag her back into a side room for a hurried discussion.

(The words child abuse and child endangerment get hissed around a lot.  Parker, who blew up a house at age seven, does not really get it.  She does however point out that Hardison was ripping off banks and infiltrating federal databases by the time he was sixteen.

“Yes, but I had a Nana who loved me and a safe place to live and a semi-normal experience in high school, Parker,” he points out.  She shrugs.

“I had Archie,” she says.  “He’s the only family I’ve got.  If we try to send them to anywhere safe or normal, they’re just going to leave.”

“We could ask Nate and Sophie,” Elliot points out.

“Dude, Nate and Sophie just got rid of us, you think they want to go adopting a couple of teenage mini-thems?” Hardison asks.  Elliot rolls his eyes.

“I meant for advice, not to–”

“If we send them away, they’re just going to keep doing the same things,” Parker says.  “They’re going to steal, and cheat, and they’re going to get caught, because nobody ever cared enough to teach them the right way to do things.  And they’re probably going to turn out selfish and mean, because that’s what happens to people who don’t spend time around good people.  Especially thieves.  They’re not going to be safe.”

“Oh, as opposed to our safe lives of ripping off multi-national corporations and the mob?” Elliot demands.

“Look,” Hardison says.  “I’m not saying Parker’s right and I’m not saying we need them, but they did save our asses out there on this one.  They’re good.”

Elliot groans.  “Okay, we are setting some ground rules.”)

“Rule number one,” Elliot says to the girls, because he was elected most intimidating actual authority figure by a huge margin.  “You go to school.  Both of you.  That means you enroll in high school and you actually show up.  You do your homework.  Friends, extracurriculars, all that.  You start skipping classes, we will find out.”

“Rule number two, thief training,” Parker steps in.  “I can train you like my mentor trained me.  Hardison and Elliot can teach you other things.  You work hard, you get better.”

“If you want to,” Elliot adds.  “Nobody’s going to stop you if you decide you want to be a doctor or a lawyer or a professional violinist.  We’ll help you get on that road too.  And it’s okay to change your minds about it later.”

“We may use you on jobs,” Hardison says.  “When we say you’re ready.  And that means you listen to what we say out in the field, okay, all three of us, because we have a vested interest in keeping you alive and out of prison.  Parker’s the boss but we all have a decade’s worth of experience on you, not to mention we’re the people who were out taking down multinational corporations and the Italian, Russian, Irish–which mobs am I missing, guys?  Anyway, we were doing that while you was still in grade school.”

“That’s also something to keep in mind if you try to rip us off,” Elliot adds.  “We overthrew a country.  We will find you.”

“But you’re not going to try to rip us off,” says Parker.  “Because you want this.”  She knows them.  They’re like her, like she was.  And they are probably planning on how to rip Leverage off once they learn enough–but that’s okay.  By that point, they won’t want to any more.

“We’ll work it out,” Elliot says.  “Might be a little rough going while we figure out how this is going to go, but you’re making yourselves our responsibility now.  We take those seriously.”

“So what do you say?” Hardison asks.  “Are we sitting down and creating you two some shiny new identities and paperwork saying you belong here, or do you not want to see how to do that?”

“We’re in,” the older girl jumps in before Hardison even finishes his sentence.  “We’ll do it.”

.

Basically I want all the shenanigans where the team accidentally adopts a couple of baby teenage thieves badly in need of guidance and tries to train them up right.  Whatever that ends up meaning.

(None of them are actually sure.)

Katsudeku week prompt 1b: “First Times”

[specifically, first time seeing something and then first kiss;;; also, katsuki’s mouth is a little worse than usual in this one… sorry…]

Katsuki rounds a corner hard, gloved fingers digging into brick with one hand while the other kicks up flame to send him careening around and upwards at the same time. His breath is hard, painful, in his lungs. He’s been on this villain’s tail for three blocks already. She’s quick, but not only that, she’s agile too. Fast enough to keep just ahead of him and yet slow enough that they can bound over obstacles, on top of cars and even off the sides of buildings as she outpaces him.

It’s infuriating, but Katsuki hasn’t lost sight of her yet and he can keep himself above the crowd easily enough. She’s limited to the ground; her jumps can clear a car, but she’s not able to go much higher than that at one time. Her long hair whips behind her head like a pony’s tail, a long, dark purple streak against her otherwise glittering white outfit.

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One Girl and Two Boys - part 4

Bucky Barnes x Reader x Steve Rogers

Summary: Reader is dating Steve until he gets hit during a mission. Slowly, Reader and Bucky will get to know each other better and transform their friendship into something else.

Word Count: 1,162

Warnings: Maybe Language and Angst (I don’t even know anymore)

A/N: Everything involving Wakanda is based on what I remember from the comics. PRIDE is their inteligence agency and the Dora Milaje are the King’s bodyguard. Hope you’ll like this one.

(cross-posted to Ao3)

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3]

Originally posted by slayalec

Y/N’s hotel room, New York | One Month after Steve’s Death

You fumbled around in your drawer and gathered a few clothes and some bare necessities, which included a necklace that Steve gave you for your first anniversary and a t-shirt Bucky gave you that Christmas.

You zipped the bag closed when the front door slammed shut. Bucky shouted your name as he entered your hotel room. He frowned when he saw you and your bag.

“You’re leaving? Where are you going?”

“Wakanda.” You replied, adjusting your backpack on your shoulders. “I can’t stay here. I know that somewhere in New York people are experimenting with Steve’s body and… I just can’t stay here anymore.”

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Sterek Pirate AUs

Space pirates, sea pirates, we were pirates in a past life and a splash of the princess bride. If you were looking for something a little different. You’re welcome :)

A Ship Without a Mate Sinks by  sarcasmandirony | 43.2K

Stiles persuades Scott into checking out the old ship anchored by the docks, of which Derek is captain.

I’d Love You Still in Hell by  talktowater | 10.7K

Stiles has always had these dreams where he was drowning, they were just dreams, really fucking horrible dreams but just dreams nevertheless. Right?

you’re the only north star (dear god) by  spiekiel | 5.8K

“I will go to the ends of the known universe, I will dive through a fucking black hole, I will walk unarmed with my hands tied into the Nemeton if it means getting him back,“ Derek says lowly. "But I can’t do that if I haven’t slept for eight days, and I can’t sleep without Stiles.”

Take My Love by  rosepetals42 | 7.3K

Derek is the captain of an old Firefly ship and Stiles is a Companion who is a bit late on paying the rent for his shuttle… Of course, Derek doesn’t care about the money. Hasn’t for a long time. (Crew doesn’t pay rent.) Not that he can tell Stiles that.

Through Rough Waters by  NicoNico | 41.1K

Stiles had no idea how he got in this position, tied up, blindfolded and gagged on a ship. Well, maybe he did have some sort of idea. God, how he hated pirates.

Hey, Ho, Haul Together by  Loslote | 8.4K

Stiles has sailed on the pirate ship Beacon since he was nine years old. Now, when his captain and former foster father loses the ship in a gambling game gone wrong to the intimidating Captain Derek Hale, will Stiles be able to adjust to life on a new ship under new command? And why is Captain Hale so interested in Stiles? Does it have something to do with what the Beacon’s surgeon, Deaton, told him when the new captain first set foot on the ship?

The Prince Bride by  AuraWhiteFox | 34.3K

True love is something that is hard to come by, for normal people that is. With the news of Derek’s death Stiles is heartbroken, numb enough to accept a proposal by King Peter for marriage. But when Stiles is kidnapped by a band of three thieves a year later-days before the wedding- and is rescued/kidnapped by a man dressed in black Stiles’s whole world is tossed upside down. Whoever would have known that being kidnapped was the best thing to happen to oneself?

The Call of the Sea by  Dexterous_Sinistrous | 3.6K

Derek almost drowned when he fell into the sea at a young age. He thought he was going to die in the water’s cold embrace. He didn’t expect to be saved by a young boy. A boy with a tail.

Decades later, the longing still pulls at Derek’s heart whenever he dives into the sea, something calling him away from land. The kiss they shared still burns at his lips whenever he thinks about it long enough. A reminder that without the owner of that kiss, he would be dead.

But sometimes loneliness makes you welcome the thought of death.

Marichat May: Day 5

Day 5: Protective Marinette

(also vaguely inspired by @ladybeug and her hilarious protective Marinette art <3)

He meant to carry her away from the scene of the crime, but he nearly lost an eye in the skirmish. Though his baton rolled away as he fell to the wet ground, the smirk never left his lips. He knew he could take them; it was her he worried about. She was just a civilian after all.

But before he could get back on his feet, he saw a flash of silver—his baton flew across and knocked the three thieving men off their feet, then came boomeranging back to him. Catching it, he turned his head toward the source only to see her standing there, tall and proud, with a grin as smug as his Lady’s.

“Did you just—”

“Well, you were preoccupied, so someone had to act.”

“Damn, Marinette. You could have been hurt.”

“Speak for yourself.”

This girl, his classmate, a mere civilian…she was something else.

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Book Recs

The List: When an ambitious young woman goes on a quest to read 50 books in the year 2016, she asks for help from the most unlikely of sources: her tumblr followers. What follows is the heartwarming story of human connection in the digital age and the endurance of the human spirit in the face of poorly crafted book blurbs. 

aka THANK YOU ALL for the book recs they were much appreciated!

however there were so many (you answered the post, you sent asks, you messaged!) that they more than tripled my 2016 goal and I found myself lost, until I decided to just make a list of everything, with the book blurb, in order to be able to choose. I was already making the list and I figured I should share it. Since many of you had multiple suggestions, there are some interesting patterns within (looking at you @renlyslittlerose among others for bringing the historical and gay af)

Under the cut you will find all your book suggestions approximately in the order they were received, barring suggestions that just had the author’s name and books I’ve already read. To everyone suggesting The Kingkiller Chronicles you must have missed the couple of posts I made mocking Kvothe, somewhere in this tag, and to someone suggesting Terry Pratchett, you must have missed all of 2014 on this blog.

This is long, very long, but I think worthwhile (otherwise I’ve certainly wasted my time putting it together). I found so many wonderful books I’d never heard of, and promised myself I’d read some I’ve already had my eye on. The entries that are bolded are the ones that I just happened to click with and will therefore receive first priority. Apart from the title, authors, and series when given, I’ve also included the blurb and small mentions for the covers I find aesthetically appealing, because I am nothing if not shallow. 

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