three minute wonder

anonymous asked:

I'm surprised Kojuro's not dead yet. He can't cook for shit, he can't clean like who knows what's living in his apartment other than him and Bontenmaru, and he barely sleeps. The only place that's perfectly spotless is the spot where Bontenmaru's tank is like I'm sure the only fresh food in his fridge is for Bontenmaru as well while he eats days old leftover takeout lmao

@viridian99​ and i talked about this, actually! she had this amazing headcanon that kojuro usually gets by on the generosity of the neighborhood women in his apartment complex; or any female, really. he’s already a flirt always enough as it is, so whenever he’s helping out a woman carry her groceries or walking her to her car and they offer him food, he happily obliges. so he’s probably got a lot of home cooked meals from other women around him in his fridge and well… any food he buys is for bontenmaru… you’ve got him there. 

i can definitely see really old takeout that has him standing at the fridge for three minutes wondering if he can still eat it or not though, it’s probably like that for him sometimes LOL. he usually eats it anyways. 

however once his editor (mc (  ͡° ͜ ʖ  ͡° )…) comes along, kojuro probably begs them on his knees for them to cook for him. they unhappily oblige but kojuro is pretty damn cute for an old man when he wants to be so it works out for the man. masamune and shigezane come over sometimes so he maybe, sometimes, probably has beer in the fridge. but then again shigezane comes through with tequila anyways so the beer is probably not touched often. once, masamune thought that the moldy pizza on kojuro’s floor was bontenmaru and tried to pick it up. he was Disgusted.

The Killian Jones List

25 Days Christmas Romance Challenge || Day 5

Character A and Character B are co-workers, but they barely know each other. But they both have to work through the holidays.
My favourite thing I’ve written in a good while. :))

The Killian Jones List; ~ 5, 200 words; FF.NET || AO3

6 days till Christmas

Now, something important to know – Emma Swan is no Grinch. No, she has not been listening to Christmas playlists on Spotify for the last three weeks. And, no, she does not own a single Christmas sweater. And, aside from the fact that the broccoli in her fridge has probably been there long enough to grow into a tree by now, she has not put up any decorations in her apartment.

And, yes, she absolutely refuses to switch her trusty hot chocolate with cinnamon for any kind of ‘tis the season monstrosity.

But, be that as it may, she is no Grinch. She doesn’t scowl at people with Santa hats in the street and she hasn’t torn down the decorations that have exploded all over her apartment building, and she doesn’t even groan when All I Want For Christmas starts playing for the 37th freaking time that day while she’s waiting for her bear claw.

She doesn’t hate Christmas. She simply doesn’t get Christmas. It was always this shiny (too shiny), cheery (too cheery), candy cane-red and, frankly, kinda fake secret that everyone else seemed to have been let in on except for her. And she wanted to be in on it. Oh, how she wanted that.

For the first six years of her life, Christmas was right up there with a mom and a dad and a bed that no one else had ever slept in and clothes that actually fit and breakfast every morning without fail. Right up there on her list of things she’d give anything to have. But after six years of failed wishing on stars and snowflakes and basically anything that looked down at her from the sky, she started to accept that Christmas was at best a day when someone decided to give her a doll and a pair of socks to make themselves feel merry and good rather than her.

After twenty six years of life on earth, almost twenty of which spent with the full knowledge that stars were a lot of things but concerned with your stupid wishes was definitely not one of them, she nothing more or less than resigned to the fact that Christmas would come every year and she would feel like a stranger who ended up at someone’s party by mistake and doesn’t have a clue what to do with themselves.

So when everyone starts asking for days off and arguing schedules and freaking out about unexpected visits from great aunts and uncles, she simply stays behind her desk, knowing that she’ll be stuck working the week before and after Christmas and being perfectly okay with it.

The one thing she allowed herself to silently wish for every year was a tolerable second martyr who she’ll have to share the office with.

So when the elevator pings on the Monday before Christmas and Killian Jones comes out, she cringes.

And she feels bad about it almost immediately because here is what she knows about Killian Jones:

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The Master is very good at disguises
  • Three: Now listen Jo, we must go and investigate this immediately! I'm heading off to talk to a research scientist at the base, he says his name is Mr M Aster
  • Jo: Um, Doctor...
  • Three: Now I know what you're thinking, Jo
  • Jo: Oh, good, for a minute there-
  • Three: You're wondering if he's a scientist, then why is he a 'Mr', rather than a 'doctor'!
  • Jo: No, Doctor, I-
  • Three: Well it's because he only has a Master's degree! He was telling me over the phone. And then he started chuckling for quite a while, not sure what that was about

anonymous asked:

Can you do a BTS reaction when their gf gets mad at them after an argument so she gives them the silent treatment the 'whole day.' Thank you, love your blog🙆🏻💘

thank you so much! It’s nice when I get feedback ;-;

Seokjin: He’d wait for the whole day before he finally cracked. His pride would probably stop him from talking to you, until sooner or later he missed you so desperately that he’d text you once, and then twice, and suddenly you phone would be flooded with messages. In order to fix the problem, he’d probably come up to you and maturely go through any problems. He’d want to talk it out and afterwards, would treat you to dinner. 

Yoongi: I think he’d respect you and give you your space, but would definitely call your friends to check up on you. He’d also probably need time to cool off after an argument, as I can only really see him arguing for something he’s truly passionate about. I think it would take a long time to reconcile, but after he did (by leaving you caring messages) he’d probably hold you tightly. 

Hoseok: He’d probably snap after an hour, wishing that you weren’t angry at him. He’d go and apologise to you behind a bunch of flowers, but it would be impossible to hide the red-rimmed eyes. To be honest, I think the both of you would have cried after an argument of that scale and he’d just hold you in his arms after making up, having a super long cuddle session to make up. 

Namjoon: He’d be so stubborn. You want to ignore him? Fine. Two can play at this game. He’d refuse to message you after seeing you act that way, and would cut off contact with you. Someone else would probably lock the two of you in the same room, seeing how you both were struggling to cope without your other half. Afterwards, he’d make it up to you with skinship, both cute/fluffy and a little steamier. 

Jimin: I think he’d be more annoyed at you giving the silent treatment than the argument. If the two of you were apart at night, he’d at least expect some sort of text to know that you were safe and so I think he’d deliberately seek you out, before arguing again at the unfair treatment. Even though he’s so cute and fluffy, your safety is so important to him that he’d be worried sick. After the argument, the two of you would realise how foolish it was and he’d walk you back, not wanting you to be alone at such a late hour. 

Taehyung: He’d be so upset. At first, I can see him getting a little explosive (for like…three minutes maybe). He’d wonder what he did to warrant such retaliation from you, but then afterwards he’d start to miss you throughout the day. He’s definitely someone who’d text his significant other every five minutes, so he’d opt to message you every hour with what he was doing and how much he missed you. 

Jungkook: Again, I think he’d be like Namjoon in this aspect. He’d literally refuse to budge, he wouldn’t talk to you for even two days. However, he’d constantly ask his hyungs for advice on what to do and they’d text you, explaining about how concerned he was. You’d need to make the first step to reach out to him, but after that he’d easily admit any mistakes that he made and would happily reconcile. 

Moonlighting - Yoongi Angst Scenario, Part II (Finale)

Originally posted by fyeahbangtaned

so today marks a week since bts saved kpop (12/7/2015), so obviously i’m motivated to write, let’s do this lmao

tw: abuse, fighting, alcohol mention

prompt: “It was a mistake.” + “It meant nothing.” + abusive ex-gf

part i.

She wandered slowly into your artsy apartment, and her thigh high boots clicking across your wooden floor made you feel uneasy.

She stood tall, taller than both you and her ex, at a height of 5′10. Her hair was cut short, bobbed and was a bright orange.

She was wide-eyed, and both of her eyes were a very dark green, she looked like a model.

“Where is he?” She sighed, in a melodramatic way.

“Who are you talking about?”

She stomped over to you, leaning down to look at you, “Don’t play dumb with me.”

There’s a small silence before you open your mouth.

“I haven’t seen your boyfriend in weeks, I really don’t know.” You say.

“You know what’s funny?” She speaks.

She pauses, before walking off into your kitchen, you follow behind her.

She reaches into your fridge and finds a strawberry wine cooler.

She pops it open and takes a swing before turning back to you.

“Yoongi would leave me almost every night at around midnight… he’d come home by four… but he’d always have you under his latest calls during the times he was gone…”

She finishes the wine cooler in almost three minutes.

“I was just wondering why that is?”
“Maybe he’d call me and I wouldn’t answer… he’d probably just go to the dorms or som-”

“Stop lying to me.” You shut your mouth instantly. “Whose jacket is that?”

She points to a jet black hoodie sitting on the counter.

“Taehyung’s.” You instantly answer. “He was over, earlier.”

“You are such a bad liar, almost as bad as Yoongi,” She shouts. 

She walks to the counter and snatches the hoodie up, “I bought him this before he left for their last tour.”

“Look, Sue,”
“What is he to you?”

“… He’s my friend.” You answer truthfully, your voice shakes.

“What have you done with him?”
“Where are these questions coming from?” You ask.

“He was mumbling your name in his sleep just last week.”

You nervously look around, “Sue, I think it’s best if you leave.”
“You fucked him, didn’t you?”

You almost choke on the air you’re breathing, “I-I-”

“From the first day, I knew you were a homewrecker.” She shakes her head.

So you torture him for it?” You, boldly, ask.

She opens her mouth to respond when your phone begins to vibrate on the kitchen counter.

A call.

You both look over, but she’s closer to the phone and by the way her face flames red at the sight, you know who’s calling.

She is quickly able to reach over for it, answering the call in seconds.

You could hear Yoongi’s deep mumble on the other line, and Sue stared at you as she listened.
“So now you want to be with this bitch?” She interrupts him.

Whatever he had said struck a cord in her, as you saw her flamed face getting even redder.

He stayed silent, not expecting her to be there.

“He’s probably drunk, just hang up.” You try to cover for him.

“Drunk, my ass, what’s wrong with you?” She puffs up, pushing into your chest and making you stumble back.

You can hear Yoongi calling out to her on the phone but she ignores him.

“What’s wrong with me? You abuse your, basically, perfect boyfriend and torture him for things he doesn’t do, and I’m the one who has something wrong with them?”

Almost instantly after your small speech her knuckles connect to your jaw.

You hit back, slamming her into the counter she was standing in front of.

The phone falls to the floor, but you can hear Yoongi now screaming on the phone, obviously scared about whatever was going on.

She took you by your hair and yanked you down, throwing you onto the floor before kicking into your side.

She continues to kick, and by now, you’re in so much pain, you can’t fight back.

So you do the only thing you can; yell.

You start yelling at the phone that is laying a few feet away, calling Yoongi’s name enough times before you can’t get it out anymore.

She takes you by your head again and slams the back of it against the oven door.

The throbbing pain makes you want to cry, but you can’t when she keeps hitting you.

You already know you won’t last long and you start to get drowsy before you hear the loud bust of the door.

She stops instantly, not knowing what to do.

You could faintly see Yoongi’s bright hair rushing into the kitchen before he yanks Sue away from you, and attempts to pull you up into his arms.

“It hurts,” You brush his hands away, so he stops, standing up now to face the offender.

“What’s your problem?” He shouts at her, you cower away, not having ever heard Yoongi speak that loud.

“Don’t try to be a hero now.” She laughs, stumbling backwards.

“Get the fuck out of here.” He orders her and her eyes widen, doe-like, at his tone.

“Atleast, leave with me…?” She pouts.

“You don’t get it, do you? You aren’t funny,” He sighs before walking towards, he looked scary compared to her.

That was a first.

“You’re going to walk out of this house quick enough before I call the cops and they drag your pathetic ass out of here to the place that your abusive ass has always belonged.”

Her shoulders sink at his words, and she shows fear in her usual maniacal eyes. 

She got the message.

“We’re over, I’m not pressing charges for me, but I’m definitely pressing charges for her,” He points at you, he looks back at you and his eyes droop a little before he turns back to her. “Now get the fuck out of my sight.”

She turns to leave, before quickly turning around, smacking him hard across the face and continuing her way out of the door.

He rubs his already redding cheek, before turning to you and carefully kneeling beside you.

You stays quiet for a while before looking at you. 

“Are you ok?” He asks, you could see his eyes starting to tear up, so you press one hand to his cheek.

“I’ve been better,” You smile at him, you close your eyes, “I’m proud of you.”

He stays quiet.

“I’m really proud of you for sticking up for yourself… and now you won’t have to go through that again.” You start rubbing lightly at his soft skin for comfort.

“I’m sorry you’re hurt.” He finally speaks, sitting beside you before letting your head fall on his shoulder.

“It’s ok, I can’t really feel anything anyway.” 

With that he quickly gets up, picking his phone out of his pocket and most likely dialing for an ambulance.

You smile watching him as he does so, and you yawn a few times, fatigue taking over you quickly.

You close your eyes, deciding to wait patiently as they came.

Yoongi called out to you to make sure you were ok and you simply nodded, ignoring the throbbing in the back of your head and the breathless feeling from your lungs.

He talked more frantically on the phone, as if you were dying and you just listened, not really paying attention.

Yoongi could never be hurt by her again and that made you more ok than you’ve ever been.

lmao so, no, you didn’t die lmao, but that was the end of that bc i felt it would get too deep, & look at yoongi sticking up for himself!!! i’m so proud of him, anyways, idk what i’ll be doing next maybe angst or fluff, maybe both tbh idk, but until then,

thanks for reading~

I don’t know what’s funnier: the fact that Felix and Locus clearly had a discussion on what color their new armor would be or the fact that they decided they had to match. And, well, since I can’t imagine Locus would care about whether or not they stuck with the tan armor, that means Felix is the one who had a bitchfit and insisted on switching to steel.

What an asshole. What a hilariously vain asshole.


hi it me the local meme stopping by to say you all look just as hot as last time and I love you all v much 💛💜 also my ask is open and I am crazy close to 1K so hitting that today would be absolutely amazing!

The moment you realized that you missed a few people in a positive tagging meme...

This is some weird thing in which a fan gives up Manson for a week. I found it mildly amusing.


Translation (thanks /u/amilias!)


C: Hold on to your tentacles!
M: It’s Inkopolis News time!

C: Let’s unveil the current LIVE stage!
M: All right!

C: That’s a huge hall! I want to do battle here!
M: With this size you won’t be getting done in three minutes though!

C: I wonder how many attendees we got?
M: I’m getting nervous…

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Alex Dang - “What Kind Of Asian Are You?”

A wonderful three minute bout of slam poetry delving into detail about THE frequently asked question us Asian and Pacific Islander Americans still have to face.

Not Just A River In Egypt (Bellamy POV)

Part I, Part II, Part III

rashaka on AO3 suggested a Bellamy POV, and it was such a good idea I just had to to it.

Bellamy scrubbed a hand over his face as the cool night air soothed his flushed skin and pulled out his phone.

Bellamy Blake


Could you come pick me up?  Too drunk to drive and I can’t stay here.

Nathan Miller


Another fight with the not-girlfriend?

Bellamy Blake


She’s definitely not my girlfriend anymore.  But yeah.

Nathan Miller


I take it you’re at her place?

Bellamy Blake


No.  I’m outside Clarke’s.  Corner of 12th and Walnut.

A text bubble hovered on his screen for far too long for the response that eventually appeared.

Nathan Miller


Be there in ten.

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