“wow, she’s taller than i thought.”
“wow, she has a lot more hair than i thought.”
“why is she so loud”
“i didn’t know people had this many facial expressions”
“what is she doing with her hands- is that asl what the hell????”
“this is the most overgrown seven year old i have ever seen oh my god”
“why does she t a l k so MUCH and so FAST like STOP-”
“how does every conversation loop back to??? snakes??? we were talking about coffee, tails, fOCUS-”
“why is she wearing a ring on her left ring finger when she’s literally like two years old and unmarried”
“her socks don’t match i literally???”
“she cusses SO MUCH”
“she’s wearing three jackets and sweaters and is still shivering. weak ass arizonians.”
anyway. on the note of my hair, @cotton-corduroy literally didn’t recognize me once when I put it in a ponytail, to give you,, an idea,,,,, ,
i wanna do this as a tag meme but I don’t wanna tag people to do it because I don’t wanna make anyone uncomfortable but if you wanna spew random facts about yourself tag me so I can see and then we can talk about it because? I can’t be the only person who says fuck a lot and doesn’t have damn time to match socks, smh
so please!! tell about yourself!! asks or submissions or your own post!! tag me im nosy!! tell me about yourselves let’s be friends!!!!
rey: dad…. these are my friends finn and poe theyre very excited to meet you also theyre married
luke: Why Hello how are you two this fine even-
rey: dad. Whats wrong
finn wearing poes jacket: master skywalker is everything fine
luke: *is visibly sweating*
luke: oh no nothings wrong of course not. nothing could bother me i mean why would would i be upset when im looking at Custom Made Antique Beige Viscose Lining Leather Jacket With Three Outside Pockets And Belted Cuffs that han never got me meanwhile im here wearing rags i got from Sears,
I like wanna be a really cool punk girl with a don’t fuck with me attitude, but I also wanna be really hot and sexy and girly and confident, but I also wanna be pretty and pink and delicate and sweet, but I also kinda just don’t care and wanna be dead so idk
So we started up a little in between Fera campaign to accent the current werewolf campaign we’ve been running. The setup itself is more like Clue, based on how we wanted to tie in everything. However, somethings never change…
Ratkin: I’m gonna jump in the dumpster with him and get some chicken nuggets!
DM: Just gonna.. Jump in? Well, now he’s gonna fight you. Hobo fights in the dumpster outside O'Tolley’s. Who wants to bet…?
Gurahl: I’m gonna try to reach in to drag the rat out. *Rolls a failure against a grapple check* Or I can grab his outer jacket. That’s fine too…
Ratkin: I’ve got double jointed and three jackets, you aren’t grabbing me out. Though I’ll come out on my own after I’ve got my food. *Fails a roll to exit the dumpster.* The bags are clearly weighing me down!
DM: That’s what you get fatass
Kitsune: I’m gonna roll create element to make a fire in the dumpster.
Everyone: But the homeless guy is in there! You’re going to set them on fire!?
okay look I forgot I wrote this tbh and i just found it in my drafts again, but I’m just gonna fling it out into the wilds of the internet because like where else would it live
(who else remembers The Toast’s wonderful If X Were Your Y series, there’s a sublime version of If Oscar Isaac Were Your Boyfriend over there but when I wrote this one it didn’t exist and then I never pitched it because I am terrified of pitching and then the other version went up and I was like: COOL, OKAY, anyway)
If Oscar Isaac were your boyfriend, his facial hair would always be at the optimally attractive length of salt-and-pepper stubble, and it would never give you a rash no matter how much you kissed. “Oh man, I’m not hurting you, am I?” Oscar Isaac would say, his eyes soft with sudden alarm, and you would laugh, and pull him in by his shirt.
If Oscar Isaac were your boyfriend, you would already own at least three leather jackets, and all of them would be butter-soft. But Oscar would give you one of his when you’d forgotten yours one fall afternoon, and it would fit you perfectly. “Keep it, it suits you,” Oscar would say, and bite his lip, and you would smack his shoulder.
“You can’t just keep doing that,” you’d tell him, “you know it’s a thing,” and Oscar would look very sincere.
“It does,” he would insist, “it looks good on you,” and he would pull it into place on your shoulder, and wind a scarf around your throat. Both the jacket and the scarf would smell like cigarette smoke and fall leaves, and you would keep both of them, and the jacket would look effortlessly great over everything you own.
If Oscar Isaac were your boyfriend, he would pretend he doesn’t understand social media, but whenever you would go out for brunch he would watch you on Twitter and ask you to pass on messages. “Is that one of your internet friends?” he would say, “tell them we’re eating pancakes,” and you would roll your eyes.
“You have your own Twitter account,” you would say, “stop pretending you’re an old man,” and he would steal your phone and take a lot of very blurry photos of your pancakes.
If Oscar Isaac were your boyfriend, every item of clothing you own would be worn-in leather or soft chambray or perfectly textured wool, and you would know how to wear hats without getting weird hat hair.
If Oscar Isaac were your boyfriend, you would find him sending snapchats of your cat to John Boyega, and later, lying on the couch together, his phone would vibrate and it would be John replying with pictures of himself and Oluwalogan, and John would always be shirtless in these photos. Oscar Isaac would always share these snapchats with you, and he wouldn’t even mind the noises you made.
“I mean, like, seriously,” you would say, and he would nod very seriously.