“turn to page three-hundred ninety-four” is such a simple line with no deeper meaning, yet it is arguably one of the most iconic harry potter lines because you can hear the exact way it was said in your head every time
The rarest possible instance in pokemon (via EnixLeDerp on reddit)
The rarest thing is probably encountering a horde of 5 shiny Spinda with identical spot patterns with perfect IV’s, same gender, a hidden ability, the same nature, and all with Pokerus, which is a 1 in 1.166516e+120 chance of happening.
To see that as a full number, that’s a 1 in 1,166,516,000,000,000,512,216,872,712,104,384,496,808,632,888,240,896, 408,176,648,456,104,152,960,072,944,640,808,264,456,544,600,392,064, 040,352,200,480,240,248 chance of happening.
In words, thats a one in one novemtrigintillion, one hundred and sixty-six octotrigintillion, five hundred and sixteen septentrigintillion, five hundred and twelve tretrigintillion, two hundred and sixteen duotrigintillion, eight hundred and seventy-two untrigintillion, seven hundred and twelve trigintillion, one hundred and four novemvigintillion, three hundred and eighty-four octovigintillion, four hundred and ninety-six septenvigintillion, eight hundred and eight sexvigintillion, six hundred and thirty-two quinvigintillion, eight hundred and eighty-eight quattuorvigintillion, two hundred and forty trevigintillion, eight hundred and ninety-six duovigintillion, four hundred and eight unvigintillion, one hundred and seventy-six vigintillion, six hundred and forty-eight novemdecillion, four hundred and fifty-six octodecillion, one hundred and four septendecillion, one hundred and fifty-two sexdecillion, nine hundred and sixty quindecillion, seventy-two quattuordecillion, nine hundred and forty-four tredecillion, six hundred and forty duodecillion, eight hundred and eight undecillion, two hundred and sixty-four decillion, four hundred and fifty-six nonillion, five hundred and forty-four octillion, six hundred septillion, three hundred and ninety-two sextillion, sixty-four quintillion, forty quadrillion, three hundred and fifty-two trillion, two hundred billion, four hundred and eighty million, two hundred and forty thousand, two hundred and forty-eight chance of happening. You’re more likely to win the lottery one milion billion trillion quadrillion quintillion sextillion septillion times.
You’re more likely to guess what atom someone has chosen throughout all of the entire universe than this happening.
Genre: Fluff and smut
With Yixing in your home and the door shut tightly behind you, you felt yourself become nervous at the fact that the two of you were alone. You blushed at your wandering thoughts, knowing that it was just because of how overwhelmingly handsome he was and the feeling of his lips on yours was still fresh that got you a little worked up. You shrugged it off as the both of you proceeded further into the house and into the living room.
You sat down first, patting the spot beside you as an invitation to Yixing. He smiled and thanked you, seating himself so near to you that your legs were pressed together. You felt your face heat up at the contact, but you didn’t make an effort to scoot away. It felt easy being this close to him.
“So, tell me more about Significants.” You pressed excitedly and Yixing smiled at your eagerness
“It’s a little different since your a human,” He started, “but the basics are still the same. We’ll be protective of one another, we won’t be able to stay away from each other for too long, the…attraction towards one another is undeniable,” Yixing hesitated at the last part, smirking slightly at his own choice of words, “and it might take you awhile to get used to the feeling that’s in your chest. It usually is difficult at first for humans because love is supposed to take time for them. Just know that the feeling is present in my chest too and I’m never going anywhere, no matter how quickly we move.”
Yixing’s hand reached for yours and squeezed it gently. His cool touch ignited your nerves, heightening the sensation of his skin on yours. It was such an innocent gesture, but you found yourself becoming embarrassed.
“So, how is it different for humans, besides it taking time to sink in?” You continued, instinctively lacing your fingers inside of his. He grinned at your skinship, lightly tracing his thumb over yours.
“Well, vampires don’t age and humans do. So vampires will transform their human partners, usually at the same age the vampire is stuck at. I’m ‘twenty-four’,” He did air quotes with his free hand, “but I’m actually about to be four hundred and ninety three. How old are you?”
“I’m twenty one,” You replied “you’ll have to tell me about everything you’ve lived through sometime. Maybe you can help me pass my college history class.” You teased.
“I’m sure I can.” Yixing showed off his dimple as he smiled brightly at you.
“Are there anymore differences?”
“Yes. Vampires develop an intense craving for their Significant’s blood if they’re human. But it isn’t like the human becomes prey. It’s a euphoric experience on both parts, from what I’ve heard. And it doesn’t hurt like it would if a vampire was just hunting someone.”
Your eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. “Won’t I change into a vampire if you bite me?”
Yixing shook his head in response, “that’s actually a really extensive process.”
You hummed in understanding, not asking for any more details. Your mind crossed over everything that he informed you of, however it repeatedly tripped over one small part.
“A-are you craving my blood, now?” You asked in a small, nervous voice. Yixing’s eyes darkened ever so slightly at your question as he nodded.
“If you aren’t comfortable with the idea yet, I can hold off for a few more days.” He stated, but the look in his eye told you that waiting would be torturous for him.
“I’m a little scared.” You admitted. Yixing’s features softened and he caressed your cheek with his large fingers.
“You don’t ever have to be afraid of me, baobei, I will never harm you.” Yixing comforted you, pressing his lips softly to your temple. You breathed a sigh of relief.
“How will you know when to stop?” You rested your forehead on his shoulder.
“Your body will tell me. I won’t let you pass out. You’ll be drowsy, but with some food and a nap, you’ll be just fine. It’ll be like donating blood, but to a more direct source.” He explained. His fingers carefully hooked beneath your chin at brought your gaze up to meet his. “Just trust me, okay darling?”
“I trust you.” Yixing grinned at your words. He wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you onto his lap. You shuttered at the feeling of his chest pressed against your back as you situated yourself to lay against him with your neck exposed. You felt his fingers brush away any stray hairs that lingered on your throat.
“Are you ready?”
You braced yourself and nodded. Yixing grazed his lips against your earlobe, pressing open mouth kisses to your skin until he reached the crook of your neck.
You felt a small pressure against your delicate flesh and then an intense cloudiness overcame your mind. Yixing’s hands wrapped around your waist as your blood filled his mouth. You felt as if you were dreaming. You were lighter than air, aware of your surroundings, but distracted by the pleasing sensation of Yixing suckling on your neck.
You mewled involuntarily as his hands traveled from your waist to your thighs. You had never thought that this would be as erotic as it was proving to be, the heat between your legs causing you to press them together.
Yixing groaned as he removed his mouth from your neck. His lips were painted red with your blood. He admired you in your dazed state, your body flushed against his as it sent him signals of desire.
“Baobei, I can smell how wet you are.” He fingers traveled higher up your thighs, teasing the supple skin close to your core. You spread your legs for him, silently begging him to continue upwards. Instead, you felt yourself being pushed off of his lap. You whined in disapproval, causing Yixing to chuckle.
“Your so eager for me. Don’t worry baby, you’ll enjoy this.” He mused and he sunk to his knees in front of you. He pushed the bottom of your dress up to your hips and pulled your panties off, coming face to face with your wet heat.
You moaned as Yixing let his tongue dance over your clit, his arm holding you place so you couldn’t gain anymore friction than what he was giving you. Your legs were slung over his shoulders and your fingers gripped his hair.
You felt your stomach tighten when Yixing inserted two fingers inside of you effortlessly, brushing against your g spot with a come hither motion. You were getting close.
You opened your mouth to tell Yixing, but you were too late. A loud, vocal moan escaped your lips, and you felt yourself quivering around his fingers. He let you ride out your orgasm, licking his fingers clean of your juices afterwards.
“Every part of you is fucking delicious.” Yixing growled as he stood up, pulling his shirt off quickly. Your eyes ate up his toned form. He reached over you and tugged your dress over your head, leaving you completely bare in front of him. You returned the favor by leaning forward and unbuttoning his pants, pulling his underwear down with them.
Yixing’s large erection stood proudly and you bit your lip as he wrapped his hand around himself and pumped.
“Turn away from me and press your palms against the couch, baby.” He instructed. You did as he said, resting on your knees, bent over, presenting yourself to him.
Yixing groped your round ass as he rubbed the tip of his cock against your entrance. You pushed towards him, wanting to feel him buried deep inside you.
With a snap of his hips, he was. Yixing let out a guttural moan, his nails scraping down your sides and he repeatedly pounded into you.
“You’re so fucking tight and warm, shit (y/n).” He sped up, the sound of his skin hitting yours filling the room. You were screaming, on the brink of another orgasm as your pressed against him, his lewd words encouraging you.
“I could fuck you for days. Scream my name baby, let everyone know who your pussy belongs to.”
You chanted his name like a mantra and your muscles began to tighten. He kept up his pace flawlessly as he snaked his hand around to rub your swollen clit.
Almost immediately, you reached your second orgasm, tightening around his cock rapidly. Yixing groaned at the feeling of your walls squeezing him, continuing his ministrations in order to reach his high.
“That’s. My. Girl.” He emphasized every word with a thrust, which became erratic as he came to the edge.
Yixing pulled out of you and let out a pleased whimper. You felt his warm orgasm land on the back of your thighs. His arm stayed wrapped around your waist, supporting you as you went limp.
He grabbed tissues from the box that you conveniently had on the coffee table, wiping up his seed from your sticky skin. Once you were clean, Yixing laid on the couch, pulling you onto his chest. He rubbed your back as you worked to even out your breathing.
“Was I too rough?” Yixing asked once you settled down. You smiled at his concern for you.
“No. But I’ll probably be sore in the morning.” You giggled tiredly. At that moment, however, you just enjoyed the feeling of resting against him.
“Can we get in bed?” You mumbled, dozing off. Yixing chuckled at your sleepy state. He lifted your body and his off the couch without a problem, cradling you as he took you up the stairs to your bedroom.
Once you were both tucked into your sheets, you slept in his arms peacefully. Yixing watched you quietly, in awe of your beauty, even when you were just sleeping. He watched you for hours, feeling you snuggle into him and breathe against made his chest swell.
Yixing had everything he had ever wanted right beside him. He thought about what he would cook you when you woke up and how he couldn’t wait to spoil you rotten with his affection.
It had been four hundred and ninety three years, and for the first time in all his life, Zhang Yixing felt complete.
If Nevra Read Twilight Then At Some Point SOMEONE Read Harry Potter.
[sees gardienne alone in the alchemy room]
[walks in and shuts blinds] Turn to page three-hundred and ninety-four.
Aaaahhh, nice reference.
Dammit. You shoud've been terrified!
Seven books, eight movies and I came through. Sorry, Ez. But if you show up bald and noseless I can call you The One Who Must Not Be Named and wave sticks at you, yelling "Expecto Patronum!".
Well, then. I'm sure you're gonna come up with something eventually. Hey, what else can you do?
[turns around] Which one of you can tell me the difference between an animagus and a werewolf?
[Gardienne raises her hand]
[without looking] No-one? How disappointing.
No but imagine one where you could alternate fandoms each day;
Supernatural Fandom GPS Day:
Bobby: “Ya, idjit, go another half mile and turn back around.” Castiel: “I don’t understand. There is a store called ‘Winchester Gear’? What do they sell? Salt shotgun shells?” Crowley: “I run Hell and I don’t even want to go to this place. Why exactly do you want directions there?”
Harry Potter Fandom GPS Day:
Snape: “Take exit three hundred and ninety four.” McGonagall: “Turn left now, you babbling, bumbling baboon.” Luna: “If you look out your window more often, you’re much more likely to spot a Crumple-Horned Snorkack.”
Sherlock Fandom GPS Day:
Mycroft: “If you could manage it, a left turn this century wouldn’t be your worst decision ever.” Mrs. Hudson: “I’m not even your landlady, dear, but if you want my directions, you’ll go back home and have a nice cuppa.” Lestrade: “Right, what you want to do here is look out for the lane changes, because the traffic can be murder.”
Doctor Who Fandom GPS Day:
Amy Pond: “Ya bloody idiot, what ya wanna go that way for?” River Song: “Oh, are we going somewhere? How exciting!” Clara Oswald: “Drive. Drive you clever human. And remember to always wear your seatbelt.”
Lord of the Rings Fandom GPS Day:
Legolas: “My elf eyes see that you’ll need to turn west in 3 miles.” Gimli: “Increase speed when you get off the interchange. Nobody cuts off a dwarf!” Gollum: “Turn right here, Precious. Yes, right here! Gollum!”
Marvel Fandom GPS Day:
Nick Fury: “I recognize that you missed the turn, but given that it was an important turn, I’m going to need to recalculate now.” Loki: “You missed the turn. Well, I’m not exactly shocked. You must not be truly desperate to reach your destination.” JARVIS: “May I say how refreshing it is to finally see you on the right course?”
Practice your Dutch this week. Not only will you seduce many women, men, and nonbinaries with your masterful use of indefinite pronouns, it will also look good on your resumes for Dutch companies. You may now indulge in Dutch chocolate without it being cultural appropriation.
Signs indicate that you will be making a career change, from your current venture to an irresistible siren, naiad, skogsrå, or glaistig, depending on your location. If you live in an arid region, do not fear, simply locate your nearest waterpark or community swimming pool, although the various lifeguards on duty will most likely make drowning your seduced victims more challenging.
What is love? Cannibalism
Open the window. Breath the night air. Find a silver coin in an old pair of shoes. Give it to a two-headed owl in a lonely mist-filled grotto, in exchange for one prophecy. The right head will give you prudent financial advice while the left dispenses interesting brownie recipes. Choose wisely.
This week, your lucky numbers are seventeen; eighteen; thirty six; two; negative nineteen; eighty five billion, one hundred and twenty seven million, six hundred and ninety three thousand, four hundred and eleven; seven point eight five five to the power of five; and the number of pennies lost and never found in Cincinnati in 1967.
Your past affects your future, but you are not bound by it. Your future guides your now, but you are not controlled by it. You can change your fate very easily. Night classes, plane tickets, and body-swapping fortune cookies are not that expensive.
Your friends, family, acquaintances, co-workers, even complete strangers, just want you to be happy. Nobody is out to get you. You have no enemies. There is nothing to be worried about. You’re fine.
You will soon be filled with a deep dread of time, and the continual nature of sensory perceptions, and although of course it will not literally last forever, from your point of view there will be no practical difference.
Always take time for yourself. Do all the things you know you want to do. Wake early in the morning, sing your heart out, spread your wings, gather twigs for a nest, and eat worms to regurgitate for your young.
The stars say hi.
This is the week. Do the thing. Be the one. Show them who’s boss. And do it wearing your reddest lipstick and meanest eyeliner.
You are very perceptive and sensitive to people’s emotional states, and can tell when people are talking to you nearly every time. Use these special talents in situations like conversations with friends and family, purchasing goods at your local store, or invoking the void god-being HUNTOKAR to wipe out your enemies from all present and past existence.
(I was encouraged to try a drabble by timelady35 so forgive me for the length and any mistakes shown. The post I’m starting off with is: Imagine being stuck in an elevator with Mycroft Holmes and he tries to lighten the mood with a dumb joke.)