three bowls

Happy Tuesday.

I’m calling it “Yurio Catches Puberty” as a working title. (PG for swearing and puberty.) (Warning for body image stuff, very minor.) 

***

“WHEN WILL THIS BE OVER?”

The scream of anguish from the rink’s locker room shower made Yuuri look up sharply. He’d only arrived in St. Petersburg yesterday, but this couldn’t be normal, even if nobody else seemed to be paying the slightest attention.

“AUGH!”

It was definitely Yurio.

“Yurio?” he started to ask, but Georgi clapped a hand over his mouth.

“Don’t engage,” he hissed.

Yuuri looked at him, wide-eyed.

“What’s going on?” he whispered, as Yurio began a steady, at least quieter stream of cursing in Russian, then English, then Japanese that Yuuri definitely hadn’t taught him.

“Puberty,” Georgi said.

Yuuri blinked. “Puberty?” he asked.

Georgi gave him a disgusted look. “Of course,” he mumbled to himself. “The golden boy didn’t suffer puberty…”

He wandered off, now also cursing, and Yuuri had ten seconds of silence before Yurio kicked the shower door open and strode out, towel around his waist.

(There is a readmore below! Read more!)

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Mozzarella Stick Onion Rings

Makes 9–12
Recipe by Alvin Zhou for BuzzFeed Tasty

INGREDIENTS
2 large white onions
3–4 slices mozzarella cheese
2 cups flour
5 eggs
2 cups bread crumbs
Oil, for frying
Marinara sauce

INSTRUCTIONS
Peel and cut onions into 1-centimeter rings, then separate the rings.

Slice the mozzarella into 4 even strips, and place a smaller onion ring in the center of a larger one. Fill the gap between the rings with strips of mozzarella. Repeat with remaining onion rings and freeze them for 1 hour.

Place the flour, eggs, and bread crumbs into three separate bowls. Dip each prepared ring into the flour, then the egg, then the breadcrumbs, then back into the egg, and one last time into the bread crumbs. Repeat with the remaining onion rings.

Heat the oil in a pot over high heat. Fry the rings until golden brown, being careful not to fry them for too long as the cheese may ooze out completely.

Drain on a paper towel, then serve with marinara!

The Average Intergalactic Cadet’s Field Guide to Understanding Their Human Classmates and Crewmates.

Written in Earth English
Current as of Earth Date 05-09-17

Understanding Their Competitive Nature and Occasional Aversion to Physical Activity or Friendly Sports

The Barbaric Practices of Young Human Physical Education.


Physical Education in many Human Schools

In the required Physical Education class, the students play all sorts of physically demanding games such as: Kickball/Matball, Dodgeball, Prisonball, or Linetag. These names may sound alarming and rightfully so. In our observations, the “games” they play are often humiliating for some and potentially injury inducing for others. Pardon our generalizations, but if your human is academically inclined, it is likely they do not have fond memories of their Physical Education classes and you will understand why after reading this breakdown of a typical class period (45 minutes to an hour long)

Kickball/Matball:
In Kickball and Matball, the small humans are divided into two “teams”. This may be done by the “coach” or by an outdated and socially cruel process of assigning “team captains” among the students who then alternate picking their fellow students to be on their teams. From this, the students who are either athletic or popular or both are easily determined from the shy, clumsy, or awkward students.

Once the teams are decided, the team that will be attempting to score points will line up; they are called the “visiting” team. The team trying to keep the opposing team from scoring points fan out across the gym; they are called the “home” team. The defending team will roll a spherical object called a “ball” at the line of students visiting team. One of the offensive students will then kick the ball as hard as they can and then run for a mat/base like a Idjwluge is chasing them.

Now this is the part where things get interesting. The home team students will attempt to catch the ball. If they catch the ball in the air before it hits the ground, the kicker is “out”. Three “outs” will cause the teams to switch roles. The kicking team doesn’t want out; the defending team wants to cause outs. If they don’t catch the ball, they can still grab the ball and throw it. We do not joke: the only way to get the kicker out after a non-catch is to THROW THE BALL AT THEIR BODY SO THAT IT HITS THEM. There is another option where the defensive team holds the ball and taps the running player with the ball, BUT THAT NEVER HAPPENS; THEY ALWAYS RESORT TO THROWING THE BALL AS HARD AS POSSIBLE. BECAUSE HUMANS LOVE TO MAKE THEIR LIVES AS DIFFICULT AS POSSIBLE WITH THE MOAT POTENTIAL FOR PAIN. However, if the runner gets to the base/mat before the ball hits them, they are “safe” and cannot get out as long as they are on the base.

This is one way where kickball and matball differ. In kickball, the runner on base is required to keep moving to allow room for the next kicker in line to get on base. In matball, there can be as many people on base as can fit on the mat. This routine will continue: kick, run, kick, run until you can run “home”. “Home” is the place where you kicked from. The bases form a diamond and there are four of them that form a circular running pattern. You kick from “home” base, and run towards “first” base. You then head for “second” base. Then “third” base and then back to where you started. If you safely make it home, you score your team a point. In kickball, you run the bases once. In matball you run them twice: first, second, third, back to first, second, third, then finally home. This probably to makeup for the advantage of choosing when you run to the next base rather than being obligated to.

The goal is to score as many points as possible before the other team gets any person on your team out three times.


Dodgeball:
If you thought that game was horrid prepare yourself again. After this description, the word “dodgeball” will strike fear in your heart. The entire goal of dodgeball is TO THROW A BALL AT THE OPPOSING TEAM WITH THE EXPLICIT INTENTION OF HITTING THEM WITH IT.

THAT’S IT.
THAT’S THE GAME.

The humans are split into two teams similar to the kickball teams. They line up on opposite walls. Precisely in the middle of the “gymnasium” (which as near as we can tell is the official name of the torture chamber of public schooling) are a row of spherical balls lined up parallel to the lines of students on each side. When the “coach” blows a whistle the students sprint for the balls, grab them and retreat. What follows is a chaotic battleground the likes of which we haven’t seen since the Battle of Wakowwnoif. The “game” is simple. Throw the ball at a member of the opposing team. They avoid the ball. If they are unsuccessful at dodging the impact, they are “out” and move to the wall. If they do dodge, they are fine and nothing happens. If they catch the ball thrown at them, they can bring one of their teammates back into the game and the person who threw the ball is out. If the person gets hit in the head, the person who threw the ball is out (this is the closest we could find to any sort of safety precautions laid out in this game). The game continues until one team systematically hits every member of the other team out.

Humans.

Prisonball:
Prison ball is exactly the same as dodgeball, it just has a few more enhancements and opportunities for social humiliation. Teams are still split in two. However, each team has three figurines called “bowling pins”. They are placed on the gymnasium floor. The goal of prisonball is to knock down the other team’s figurines and get the other team out. So each team is guarding their figurines while still playing dodgeball. Another twist comes when you are hit with a ball. Instead of simply being out, you are in Prison. Prison is an area in enemy territory separate from your team.

There are two ways out of prison. One is statistically unlikely. On each side of the gymnasium, located high up on the wall is a hoop with a net hanging from it. If the opposing team manages to to throw a ball through that hoop from their side of the gymnasium, everyone on their team in prison gets to rejoin the game.

The other way out is if a teammate throws a ball from their side of the gym, over the enemy territory and the enemies heads and the comrade in prison catches the ball, then the prisoner is set free.
This method requires a few things. First it requires the prisoner to have a friend on their team willing to throw them a ball. Second, it requires the non-prisoner teammate to be able to throw a ball that great distance accurately. Third, it requires the prisoner to be able to catch the ball. Fourth, it also requires the non-prisoner to also get hit in the process of doing all this, and if the prisoner and would-be rescuer don’t have any other friends-they are simply out of luck. In other words: the human must be popular and athletically inclined or just very very lucky. This is where the social humiliation comes in. However, many of our reports have shown that this game is prefered to dodgeball because once the human is “in prison” they simply have to pretend that they are trying to get people to get them out but then can just fritter away the rest of the game not participating. These are the humans we want to recruit for strategic planning.

The game ends when all the figurines are knocked down-either by the opposing team throwing balls at them or by the guarding team’s clumsiness.

Linetag:
Linetag is the least strenuous “game” the humans play in Physical Education. In all honesty, it looks rather fun. The human game of “Tag” is usually characterized by chaotic running around and avoidance of the human that is “it”. If “it” touches another human, that human is now “it” and must “tag” another human. There are many variations of this game that we will detail below since they are the least barbaric of the human “games” and might be useful in certain training exercises.

Linetag is one of those variations. Linetag requires a floor with different sets of intersecting lines. For some reason, humans decorate their gymnasium floors with a design of lines. Further research is required to discover if these are sacred markings, if they have special meanings, or if they are just for aesthetics. Two to four humans are chosen to be “it”. They remain “it” for the remainder of the game. Their goal is to tag every one of the non “it” students. When the student is tagged, they must sit down right where they are-no matter what.

The trick to the this game, however, is that the humans are only allowed to walk on the lines. They cannot deviate from a set of prescribed routes. They cannot hop lines. They must find intersections to avoid “it”. When a player is tagged and they sit down, they become a “roadblock”. The fleeing humans cannot pass them-but the “it” humans can. The game continues until all students are sitting.

Other Tag Variations:
Freeze tag: chaotic running pattern, but when “tagged” the player freezes though touched by a Nxiebxwoie. Game continues until every player is frozen. Players can unfreeze friends by crawling through their legs. (We do not understand why this would work to unfreeze someone but we have discovered that humans have very vivid imaginations when it comes to recreational activities)

Amoeba tag: also known as “sticky tag” or “worm tag” one player is “it” until they tag another player and then they are “stuck” together and must hold hands while chasing the other humans. With each tag, the “it” group gets larger and larger continuing to hold hands, link elbows, etc. Great fun to watch.

Circle tag: humans pair up and link elbows in a circle. “It” and a “runner” will begin a pursuit. The “runner” can link elbows (the bendy bits of their upper limbs) with anyone of the pairs and the partner that didn’t get linked must then run away. If they are tagged they are now “it” and the former “it” is now the “runner” and must find a pair to break up.


For the athletically disinclined human, you could understand why these activities would be traumatizing. Oftentimes these games were treated as though they were the equivalent to our Yeqipguited Games by the more athletically inclined. The less talented humans may have been mocked. If the human you are working with seems less inclined to participate in a game of Bejbpoi, you now understand why.

Songs that every fandom has at least one amv of:

  • I Will Not Bow by Breaking Benjamin
  • This Is War by 30 Seconds To Mars
  • High School Never Ends by Bowling For Soup
  • Bring Me To Life by Evanescence.
  • Gay or European from Legally Blonde: The Musical
  • Animal I Have Become by Three Days Grace
  • Tik Tok by Kesha
  • Dynamite by Taio Cruz
  • Monster by Skillet
  • Pretty much any Linkin Park song.
  • If You Were Gay from Avenue Q.
  • Every Disney song ever.
Keith’s Galra DNA

So this is a long one, but I think it’s important.

This will go in the “Headcanon” category. If you want to take this idea and expand upon it, please do! Tag me so I can see what you create! And HERE are my other headcanons!

I was sitting in a science class, thinking about Voltron, as you do. And a theory came up and hit me out of nowhere.

Now, I’m no biology major. But we’re talking about a show with giant space robot lions forming to make a giant space robot man piloted by an escaped prisoner with a magic/tech arm and four teenagers. I don’t think scientific accuracy is our main concern.

We know Keith is part Galra. We just don’t know how much. A lot of people are going for the 75/25 split in favor of human, because of how he looks. This is called phenotype - how our genes are expressed outwardly. But phenotype is determined by dominant and recessive genes. The genotype is what the DNA is actually made of.

With that in mind, you can have a 50/50 split in favor of Galra, with human being all dominant. With all the aliens out there that are even vaguely human-looking (with face structure, body structure, etc), it seems like human-like traits seem to be dominant in this universe’s genome. And we see Keith having human traits in the dominant form - dark hair, dark eyes. So we can think that most, if not all of Keith’s Galra DNA is in the recessive form in the genotype. It’s there, we just don’t see it. It could even be a 75/25 split in favor of Galra instead of human, but all be hidden. This is why some children look so much like one parent and almost nothing like the other.

So now that we’ve got the science out of the way, let’s talk about the Blade of Marmora episode and get some theories going.

Imagine Keith’s blade triggering the Galra DNA in his system, pulling it from genotype to phenotype. All the Galra traits were there, but they were all in the recessive form. The magic purple flash changed them all from recessive to dominant. That’s not exactly how our DNA works, but we also have this quintessence stuff that turned him a bit purple? We’re talking about alien biology, cut me some slack.

But this switch wouldn’t happen instantly (like we all wanted and made edits of). It would take time for the biology to catch up.

And that’s the transformation we wanted.

Imagine Keith getting super hungry, his body craving the nutrients to grow ears, claws, a new set of teeth, maybe a tail. With all the hand-to-hand combat he does, he must burn a lot of calories already. He goes to each meal eating three bowls of food goo, begging Hunk to make something with a lot of calcium because he’s so hungry. But once his body has stored up enough, the hunger disappears. He starts to feel nauseated. Who knows what a Galra diet entails, but it’s certainly not food goo.

Imagine him waking up to find that his body is itching from starting to sprout a fine layer of purple hair. He tries to shave it off his face, but it grows back by the end of the day (I mean, come on, they have to have razors on the castleship. There’s no way all of them stay so cleanly shaven, even if you go to the extreme and only count Shiro and Coran growing facial hair).

As his ear biology shifts, his hearing goes out of commission for a while. He tries to read lips, and it works pretty well, but you can’t read lips over an intercom through the Lions. The same thing happens with his eyes. The corners of them start to turn yellow, and his vision blurs as his actual eye is changing.

His jaw would start to ache like getting wisdom teeth, except for his entire mouth, until one day while he’s brushing them in the morning, they start to fall out. Depending on how different Galra bone structure is, he could even be incapacitated for a few days. We never see what a Galra foot looks like, or if their skull structure is different for the ears. He might even grow to a more Galra height, making him even more hungry.

I imagine that he would stay vaguely human-like. He wouldn’t change into an Ulaz-looking Galra, but a much more human-looking Galra. Short for a Galra, tall for a human, and much more human facial features. He’d keep his iconic mullet (even it turned just a tad bit more purple), his gloves would accentuate the aesthetic of claws, he’d even be able to master the very annoyed Galra snarl with the sharp teeth poking out. He would still look like Keith.

To end on a happy note, imagine the entire Voltron team being there for him during this transformation. Hunk would make him the most nutrient-packed meals he can manage, making sure to blend them up into a smoothie so his teeth don’t hurt. Pidge would dive into the science behind it, and even though Keith doesn’t fully understand, it’s somewhat comforting to know that someone does. Lance would absolutely be the personal cheerleader, always talking about how cool it is to have a Galra on their team and all the advantages it brings. Shiro would not only be the King of Moral Support but also help with the physical aspects. He’d train with Keith every day to help him adjust to the new Galra body. Coran would spout the history of Galra before Zarkon started taking over the universe, telling him about their culture and all the good things about them. And after a long period of giving him the cold shoulder, Allura would finally apologize. She’d take great strides to mend the relationship, even going so far as to do research into where his mother may have gone because she knows what it’s like to lose parents. And while that’s not directly helping him with the physical pain, it’s giving him very good peace of mind.

TL;DR: If Keith is going to have a more Galra form, it would be a much more gradual and painful change than just *poof* Galra. And everyone, even Allura, would be happy to help him with it.

Babysitter-Ashton Irwin

Originally posted by loserxhemmo96

Warning: obviously smut and language

Rating: R


Your phone buzzed next to you on your bedside table. Groaning, you rolled over in your bed and unplugged your phone. Your phone read 8:30am which made you whimper in exhaustion. Below the time was a text from your only babysitting client at the time, Ms. Irwin. You had only acquired the job because your mom had been childhood friends with her, but she was a kind woman nonetheless.

Ms. Irwin was probably the sweetest woman to have ever walked the earth, despite the hardships she had overcame such as her husband leaving her with three kids a couple years ago. But what puzzled you to no extent was the fact that such a kind woman could have the literal spawn on satan as her eldest child.

Ashton Irwin, also known as Hades by yourself and your best friend (Y/BFF/N), was probably the rude human being you have encountered. Despite his stunning looks and musical talent, he was probably the one person you admittedly hated. Although he was a kind child when the two of you where in lower school, right when he hit his teens he pushed you away and never explained his reasons for doing so.

Now, in high school, he never even spared you a glance. It wasn’t as if you were still mad at him, he had pushed you away so long ago but he only angered you when you were babysitting his two younger siblings, Lauren and Harry. It seemed funny how Ms. Irwin always had you babysit even though Ashton was right upstairs in his room playing on his drums, but you both knew he wasn’t capable of taking care of two young children. 

From: Ms. Irwin-8:30am

Hey (Y/n), I’m so sorry to be an inconvenience to you but I was wondering if you can possibly watch the kids starting from 11am today to 7pm tomorrow? Sorry my boss just told me I have to come for a conference this weekend.

You groaned and sat up, running your hand through your hair before responding.

To: Ms. Irwin-8:34am

I’d be happy to (: I’ll see you at 11.

Since you had already woken up you knew attempting to go back to sleep was going to be useless. Hesitantly, you placed your bare feet on the cold wooden floor and quickly scampered to the bathroom to brush your teeth and you went to your kitchen to eat something for breakfast.

Time seemed to fly by and before you knew it you were approaching the front door of the Irwin household with your small overnight bag by your side.

You knocked once and the door flew open seconds later. Instead of the bright and smiling face of Ms. Irwin, you were greeted by the irritated look on Ashton’s face. “Hey Ash,” you smiled, despite the uncomfortable look on his face.

He closed the door behind you, “Don’t call me that,” he mumbled before walking past you to climb up his stairs and probably sulk in his room.

“(Y/n)!” Lauren yelled before wrapping her arms around your legs, followed by Harry.

“Hey guys! Are you excited about this weekend?” you asked, ruffling Harry’s hair.

They nodded in unison and you detached yourself from them to find Ms. Irwin who was in the kitchen making them their lunch. “Hi Ms. Irwin, how are you?” you asked, leaning against the counter.

She jumped in surprise, “Oh hi dear! I’m great, how are you?”

“I’m okay,” you responded.

“Thank you so much for coming on short notice. I really appreciate it.”

You smiled, grabbing the plates from her that held the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches she had made for them. “Of course, anytime. And don’t you have a plane to catch?” I asked.

Her eyes widened, “You’re right!” she rushed to grab her bags, “Again, thank you and I hope Ashton isn’t too much of a bother. He probably won’t leave his room anyways. Text me if there’s an emergency!” she yelled before running out to her car.

You let out a long breath before turning back to the two kids standing behind me. “So, what do you two wanna do?”

—————–

“That movie was so good!” Lauren yelled from the backseat of your car. The three of you had just went to the theater to see Moana and the kids were ecstatic about it.

You nodded and smiled, “Yeah it was great! What do you guys say? Ice cream when we get home?” They all nodded in excitement at your offer and practically bounced in their chairs until you arrived home.

Once you parked your car in the driveway they ran out of the car towards the house and flung themselves on the couch, awaiting their ice cream. You smiled at their excitement and went into the kitchen and pulled out the chocolate ice cream. 

You groaned when you realized the bowls where just about five centimeters from your reach even while you were on your toes. Suddenly, a body was pressed flush against yours. “You’re too damn short,” a voice said gruffly from behind you. You turned your head slightly to see Ashton’s bare, broad chest.

Before you knew it he had pulled down three bowls and placed them in front of you. “Thank you,” you whispered for no apparent reason, just because of the close proximity. 

His body lingered behind you for only a couple of seconds before he disappeared. You felt your face heat up but you quickly dismissed any thoughts of Ashton before scooping ice cream into the bowls.

“Who wants ice cream?” you asked, walking into the living room but you stopped in your tracks when the two toddlers were passed out on the couch. A soft smile spread across your face at the two softly sleeping. You set the bowls on the coffee table and picked up Harry to bring him to his room. 

After tucking both of them in you started walking down the hall to get to the stairs but you stopped in your tracks when you heard All Time Low blasting loudly from Ashton’s room.

You approached his door and opened it slightly, “Ashton can you please turn down your music? The kids are sleep-oh my god what are you doing!” you screeched when you saw Ashton laying naked on his bed, slowing pumping his length.

His face morphed into his signature angry expression and he pulled on his boxers before slamming the door in your face. You stood in front of his door, shell shocked for minutes until you finally processed what had actually happened and you ran downstairs to grab your bag and you shut the door to the guestroom down stairs.

Trying to get what you saw out of your head, you pulled out the book you brought with you and started to read. As you flipped through the pages you couldn’t seem to focus on what the story was telling you but rather on how hot Ashton looked, panting and grabbing his thick length in his hand.

A hard knock on your door interrupted your thoughts and you stood up from your bed, expecting one of the kids to be asking for the ice cream you promised them earlier.

But instead of the faces of one of the kids, when you opened the door you were faced with Ashton, and he looked more pissed then ever.

“Hey Ashton, I’m really sorry, I should’ve knocked-” your sentence was cut short yet again when Ashton flipped the two of you around and pushed you up against the door. 

You gasped when you felt his hot lips press hard kisses down the base of your throat. “Do you know what I was thinking about when I was jerking off?” he asked as he brought his face up to yours.

“What?” you asked.

His breath fanned against your face in uneven pants. “You,” he said before pressing his lips against yours.

It took you less than a minute to respond and you started moving your lips in sync with his. “Fuck I need you so bad,” he mumbled against your lips. All you could do was whimper in desperation.

“Where did this come from?” you panted, tangling your hands in his sandy curls.

He groaned when you tugged at his hair, “Fuck, I’ve liked you since we were crib mates.” With that his pressed his lips feverishly to yours again. You moaned when he shoved his tongue in your mouth.

His fingers slowly crept from your hips to your butt. He squeezed it lightly and pulled your body closer to his hips. He ground his rock hard erection against your clothed heat. “Fuck,” he drawled out. “I want to taste you so bad princess,” he mumbled against your lips.

He didn’t give you time to respond before he swiftly picked you up and sat down on the bed. With you straddling him, you pushed his chest back so you were on top of him. You tugged at his shirt, indicating you wanted it removed and he soon lifted it over his head. As he removed his shirt, you pulled yours over your head as well and you reached to unclasp your bra.

As soon as you had no clothes remaining on your top half, Ashton flipped you over so he hovered over you. “What do you want baby girl?” he asked, latching himself to one of your breasts. His tongue flicked over the sensitive bud and he grazed his teeth over it causing you to tug at his hair. 

“Anything, Ash. Please, I’m so wet.” 

A whimper escaped his lips as he left a trail of kisses down in between the valley of your breasts and he stopped right at the band of your sweatpants. He looked up at you for approval you merely nodded in response to his silent question.

Quickly, he pulled down your pants and continued kissing up your thighs from your knees. He kept stopping right where you needed him most so eventually you sighed in frustration, “Ash, please don’t tease-oh motherfucking shit!” you yelled wen he licked a long strip up your clothed heat.

He pulled down your underwear and left a kiss on your clit. “I love it when you call me that,” he mumbled before completely diving in.

His lips wrapped around your clit, sucking harshly causing your back to arch. When he added two fingers you almost lost it, “A-Ash, I c-can’t hold on much longer,” you whimpered, pulling his head closer.

He hummed against you sending vibrations that sent you over the edge. You let out a long moan as the knot inside of you exploded and you chanted his name repeatedly.

When he finally came up for air you pulled towards you and attached your lips to his. A hint of you could be tasted on his tongue which only made you more excited.

You dropped one of your hands down and slid it beneath his boxers. Grabbing his length, you slowly pumped it and with your thumb, you spread his precum around his tip.

He shivered, “As hot as you are doing this, can you please save this for next time because I’m literally about to burst and I really want to be inside of you when I do so.”

You didn’t stop pumping him which caused him to growl and grab both of your hands in one of his and he held them above your head. “Fuck you’re such a bad girl,” he groaned, pulling down his boxers with his other hand.

Out of anticipation, you rubbed your thighs together to try and create friction but he placed a hand in between them and spread them so wide you already knew walking would be an issue in the morning.

You felt his pulsing tip at your entrance and your mouth opened wide when he pushed his length all the way in. “Oh my-holy shit Ash,” you moaned, struggling against his grip because you ached to touch him.

“You’re so tight, princess,” he let out shakily.

You begged him to move and when he finally brought his length out and snapped his hips back into yours you could’ve sworn you saw stars. “Ashton, you’re so thick-fuck!” you arched your chest into his when he hit your g-spot.

He finally released your hands from his and brought his hand down to rub your clit. Instantly you brought your nails to his back and slowly dragged them down his soft skin. “Faster,” you moaned and tugged his lips down to yours.

He obeyed your wish and started snapping his hips harder and faster against yours. When he hit you g-spot again you clenched around him and he let out a strangled moan. “Fuck princess, please do that again.”

You clenched around him and without warning, he shot his load into you, making you cum around him as well. “(Y/n)!” he chanted as his thrusts got sloppy as he milked out both of your orgasms. 

Once the two of you had come down from your highs he turned and slowly pulled out and leaned on his side to face you. “I meant what I said.”

“And what was that?” you asked with a raised eyebrow.

“That I actually have really like you since we were crib buddies,” he laughed lightly. “I just didn’t know how to talk to a girl I really like and I didn’t wanna fuck it up.”

You smiled and pressed your lips to his. “I like you too.”

A wide smile spread across his face as he pulled you closer so that your head was resting on his chest. He turned off the bedside table lamp next to him and he left a kiss on your forehead. “Goodnight princess.”

a rain spell to assist with collecting rain water

last night, i wanted to collect rain water, but i specifically wanted a spell that would direct a lot of the rain into my glass. i couldn’t find one, so i decided to make my own! this is my first spell and i think it went well :o) it ended up raining

ingredients:

  • water
  • crushed thyme
  • bowl
  • washable marker and paper
  • spoon/any tool good for mixing

(note: thyme isn’t associated with rain, but it’s associated with water and i had it on hand so lol. you can substitute thyme with another herb that encourages rain if you’d like!)

directions:

  • with the marker and paper, create a rain sigil. make sure the sigil is big enough to cover all/the majority of your bowl. i used the phrase, “it will rain hard,” for mine
  • fill up your bowl about a third of the way with water
  • sprinkle the crushed thyme into the water and stir it in
  • rip the paper around the sigil to fit into the bowl, but a little bigger than the bowl is good!
  • place the sigil on top of the water and let it rest on top for a water as you channel your intent
  • push the paper under the water until it is touching the bottom of the bowl
  • if the paper stays at the bottom of the bowl, leave it there for about 20 seconds. if not, push it back down to the bottom of the bowl three times
  • let the color from the marker drift off the page
  • take the sheet of paper out and fold it up
  • careful not to rip it, squeeze out excess water
  • dunk the folded up paper three times
  • recite the following:

“Guide the water from this bowl into the glass that’ll nourish my soul.

As it rains hard into my cup, purify the water that fills it up.”

  • take the sigil, the bowl, and your cup outside
  • push the folded up sigil into the earth and place the cup on top of it
  • pour out the potion in a circle around your cup, and give thanks to the earth!

voila! it should rain. be smart when doing weather witchcraft in general and look at the forecast beforehand. in other words, don’t ask for snow in the summer :o)

When your friends are traveling

Alya and Nino are very loyal friends. Even when they are on a trip, they are always ready to drop anything for a phone call from their best friends. Ao3 link.

I finally wrote the story from this post. It is a series of short, silly scenes. Alya and Nino are secret badasses but they always put their friends first. 

“Hey, bro, what’s up?” Nino’s voice came from the cell phone.

“I’m sooo bored!” Adrien moaned, falling back against his bed. He had been so lonely ever since he graduated lycee six months ago. He wanted to go straight to University but he struck a deal with his dad. If he modeled full time for two years, he could study whatever he wanted. He had been managing it until Nino had left two weeks ago for a two month trip around Europe with Alya. He was happy for his friend but he missed him. Life was so boring without him.

Nino laughed. “Sorry bro. It must be so boring being a supermodel.”

“It really isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.” Adrien laughed. “I’m surprised you have time to talk to me. When is Alya going to drag you off somewhere?”

“Don’t worry.” He paused for a moment. “She’s busy.”

Adrien laughed. “What’s she doing?”

“Just making a deal with the mob. I’m keeping watch.” Nino said casually.

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Opportunities

Anon: College Klance, where Keith’s sick but he has a really important test in one of his classes so he goes to class anyway. Keith and Lance happen to have that class together, and normally Lance just tries to ignore the other boy, but the Keith waddles in wearing a big coat, scarf and a wool beanie. It’s like 80 degrees out, so he knows somethings off. Bonus: For Keith being light headed and having to be carried back to his dorm room. (PS Thank you for writing awesome fics)

A/N: So I heard you guys liked pining Lance. Cashing in the bonus, someone should draw Keith in winter gear with the scarf covering his face up to his bright-red nose.


Lance hadn’t noticed the boy before. He hadn’t noticed that mullet hair, or that red jacket, or that little glance they shared when the boy would walk in a minute before class started-

Okay, maybe he’d noticed. But that’s just because the guy sat in front of him in the lecture hall! How could he not look at the way his stupid hair turned up at the ends or the stupid way he twirled his stupid pencil with his stupid nice fingers-

Okay. Maybe he’d done more than notice. Maybe he’d put in some extra effort into trying to see the boy’s name on his test. Maybe he’d lost track of class while watching the boy lazily doodle on his notes. Maybe he’d seen ‘Keith Kogane’ on the list of packages at the front desk of his dorm hall and almost choked. Just maybe, though. Probably not. Definitely not.

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Bonus OT3 Drabble: Slinky

[Masterlist]

This. This is entirely the fault of @blackkatmagic and @nellynee, and this ask-post over on blackkat’s blog. Because I just cannot resist the challenge of ‘why break up one ship for another when you can have both as a healthy triad?’ So I wrote it, even though I never actually got far enough to meet two-thirds of this ship in canon, and most of the characterisation is based on blackkat’s fics (although probably not half so good as hers).

Because really, who could resist this; “Spunky young power couple seduces village creepy shut in. Everyone is confused.

OT3 for this prompt: Minato/Orochimaru/Kushina from Naruto.

“If I have to sit and listen to you gabbing on about weird obscure jutsu, then I’m going to do it over ramen, you know!” Teuchi smiled at the sound of his best customer approaching the restaurant, presumably with her boyfriend in tow. Sure enough, when Kushina pushed the curtain aside, she was preceded into the restaurant by a sheepish looking Minato. Kushina followed, pulling another man in after them by the wrist.

The redheaded jounin manhandled Konoha’s own snake sannin into the seat next to Minato, then plonked herself down in the seat on Orochimaru’s other side. “You didn’t have to sit and listen.” The man snapped at Kushina, clearly very annoyed with her. “We are quite capable of holding a conversation without you.”

Kushina scoffed at him, flapping a hand. “Please. Minato wouldn’t know what to do with you if I left the two of you alone for more than five minutes, you know.” Orochimaru failed to come up with a retort, looking baffled and irritated in equal measure.

Minato, on the other hand, turned very red and started spluttering. “That’s not- You can’t just- What are you- Kushina!” The last word came out as a whine, and Minato dropped his head against the counter.

“Don’t be such a ditz, pretty boy.” Kushina chided, and then turned to Teuchi before Minato could respond. “The usual, please, Teuchi-san! Plus whatever this awkward turtle wants.” She nudged Orochimaru with her elbow to indicate who she meant. It was a good thing she had, because ‘awkward turtle’ was not a descriptor Teuchi would ever have applied to him on his own. He started cooking up Kushina and Minato’s usual, even as he raised an eyebrow at Orochimaru.

Orochimaru ignored him in favour of glaring at Kushina. “He’ll have the shoyu tamago ramen with extra eggs.” Minato put in, recovering from embarrassment as fast as he ever did. It was a good thing he could do that, Teuchi thought, since he was dating someone like Kushina, who got a kick out of embarrassing people.

Orochimaru switched his glare to Minato. “I don’t recall asking you to order for me.”

“Did I get it wrong?” Minato asked, caught somewhere between innocent and smug. Obviously he hadn’t, because Orochimaru looked twice as likely to murder him, but conspicuously didn’t say a word. Minato beamed like the sunrise. “So, you were explaining the connection between space-time seals and blood jutsu?” He prompted brightly. Orochimaru sighed heavily, but answered with a long explanation that went entirely over Teuchi’s head. It clearly didn’t go over Minato’s head, because he was staring in rapt attention as Orochimaru talked, in a way that made Teuchi feel oddly like he was intruding on something private.

He served up their ramen, and was not surprised when Minato and Orochimaru mostly ignored theirs in favour of their discussion. He was surprised when it took Kushina several seconds to lift her cheek off her fist and stop staring at them long enough to start scarfing down her usual three bowls of ramen. She caught his look the first time she came up for air, and shrugged unrepentantly. “What? They’re total dorks, you know, but they’re my dorks now.

Orochimaru choked on his first bite of ramen. “Excuse me?” He demanded.

“Well, you are, aren’t you?” Kushina asked, smirking. “We’re a package deal, slinky; buy one get one free. If you want to get some this evening, instead of just staring at Minato like he’s a prime steak and you’re starving, you’re going to have to learn to dance with both of us, you know.” She paused, her smirk slowly unfurling into a predatory grin with far too many teeth. “Last chance to run screaming.”

The stunned look on Orochimaru’s face turned, once again, to murderous annoyance. “I think I should be saying that to you.” He hissed, leaning forward into her personal space to loom over her. Teuchi was a bit worried, although on whose behalf he wasn’t quite sure.

Kushina laughed, and shocked just about everybody when she closed the distance between them and kissed him. Minato whimpered quietly, staring at them with his mouth hanging open, while Teuchi was just trying to figure out when the world had gone insane. Kushina drew back looking infinitely smug. “Bring it on.”

anonymous asked:

Who kissed who first? Can you tell us the story of how it happened?? Waits patiently with chin hands and dreamy eyes :)

This was supposed to be a short headcanon and then well one thing led to another. (still short but longer than intended)

It’s inarguably the best first date she’s ever been on.

She’d taken Kara to a fancy (but not too fancy) Thai fusion restaurant for dinner. She had restrained herself from renting out the whole place and instead secured a large corner booth. She had watched adoringly as Kara shoveled down three bowls of curry, laughed at her stories of Snapper Carr’s antics. In turn Kara had listened to her ridiculous stories or board members and stock holders.

Kara’s eyes crinkled at the edges when she laughed.

They had ended up staying long after the plates and bowls were cleared, the conversation turning personal but still staying light.

It was nice.

To sit and talk to someone and not worry about them judging her because of her family.

To have a friend.

To have a hot friend.

Who was willing to go on a date with her.

Who held hands with her on top of the table while playing footsie underneath.

Who insisted on walking her to her door.

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Chicken Parm-Stuffed Spaghetti Squash by Tasty

Ingredients:
Large Spaghetti Squash
2 Boneless Skinless Chicken Breasts /cut into strips
2 Eggs /beaten
Flour
Italian Style Breadcrumbs
Marinara Sauce
Shredded Mozzarella Cheese
Grated Parmesan Cheese
Italian Seasoning
Salt
Pepper
Oil for frying

Preparation:
With a sharp knife, slice the squash in half. (If the squash is too tough - puncture in several places forming a dotted line around the squash. Microwave for 3-5 minutes to soften. Allow to cool before cutting in half - following the dotted line). Scoop out the seeds - brush with oil, salt, and pepper, - and roast face down in a preheated oven at 375˚F (190˚C) for 35-40 minutes (until a fork can easily pierce the skin).

Meanwhile, slice the chicken breasts into strips. Place flour, beaten egg, and breadcrumbs into three separate bowls. Coat each strip with flour, then egg, and then roll in bread crumbs.

Heat a well-oiled skillet over medium/high heat. Fry the chicken strips (in batches if necessary) until golden brown on all sides and cooked through. Set aside on paper towels.

Once the squash has finished roasting - remove from the oven and let it set for a few minutes before turning over and pulling at it with a fork. Shred the inside of each squash, being careful not to poke through the skin. Pour marinara sauce over shredded squash. Top with chicken strips, then more marinara, and finish with mozzarella and Parmesan cheese, and a pinch of Italian seasoning. Return to the oven to bake for 10-15 minutes until the cheese has melted. Enjoy!

Once a month, Bull spends the night at Vivienne’s place. Dorian’s known about this since before they started dating, so he doesn’t pry. He’s curious, maybe a little apprehensive, but he trusts Bull.

Not long after he and Bull start talking about moving in together, he receives a formally engraved invitation, hand-delivered by Madame De Fer’s personal assistant, to dinner with her on a night that Dorian knows is the night.

He shows the invitation to Bull, who is genuinely enthusiastic and makes him feel bad for being suspicious. But Dorian doesn’t want a threesome with a woman, not even Vivienne.

But they go, and they a very fancy dinner. And then Vivienne leads them into her bedroom, and has them change into very soft bathrobes. Dorian’s apprehension is growing by the minute.

She sits them down on a huge, soft couch– facing her huge, soft bed, Dorian notices– and then sends Bull to get “the supplies.”

As soon as he leaves the room, Vivienne turns to Dorian and asks him, very politely, about his intentions. How would he characterize his relationships, individually, with each of the Chargers? Does he plan on moving to Riviain in the the next twenty to sixty-five years– or Tevinter, for that matter, does he ever see himself going back to Tevinter?  How does he feel about children? Is is too warm in here? He ;looks a little warm.  By the way, did he know that Vivienne has friends in the governments of most major countries in Thedas?

Dorian is desperately relieved to see Bull come back into the room with four bottles of wine and three huge bowls of popcorn.

Vivienne picks up a remote and turns on a TV. “Last question,” she says as Bull sits down on the couch between them, “have you ever seen Legally Blonde?”

{ kingdom come }

pairing: polyhamilsquad x reader (john-centric)

prompt: none!

t/w: i don’t think there are any. it’s mostly fluff!

a/n: literally no one asked for this but i just really like small!john and you’ve seen a glimpse of how he acts in the past 2 chapters of five’s company. the proper thing for me to say is “i want to give you insight on how john is feeling/thinking because character development. wow!” but in reality, i just wanted to write some fluff with my precious baby

i write john with a bit of a little headspace so you’ll see a bit of those themes come out here!

also this title is lame but i was listening to kingdom come by the civil wars and it’s a nice song and kind of fitting for this.

enjoy!

inbox || masterlist


Alex figured John would be like this for a couple of days. If it lasted for more than a week then you would get worried.

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