three bit

let’s talk conversion rates. 

four goofs is equal to a gag. two gags? that’s a bit. and if youve got three bits, well you’ve got yourself a sketch baby

7

ユーリ!!! on Ice - TV & BD/DVD Comparison | episode 9

 ep 1 | ep 2 | ep 3 | ep 4 | ep 5 | ep 6 | ep 7 | ep 8 | ep 9 | ep 10 | ep 11 | ep 12

anonymous asked:

Hi, I just wanted to say the the gods & monsters series is one of the most wonderful things I've read. I know that some already have Hades in them but could you please do one about Hades and Persephone meeting? That would be amazing, thank you

Apollo comes to her, warm and smiling. He likes her body, its gentle curves, the flawless skin, how it shines with the youth and strength of spring. He is the sun and she is the earth, and it is from his rays that she gains her strength, and it would be expected of them to love each other. The god is golden, from his skin to his hair to his mischievous eyes, and there is not an inch of him that is not as lovely as the rays of sunlight peeking through the leaves.

Kore is not stupid. She knows Apollo does not linger, that she will be a wife in name and little else; he will lie with her and worship her and then grow bored of her.

Hermes comes to her, eyes sharp and hands gentle. He likes her mind, her acuteness, the way she views the world as a gem cutter would a raw emerald. He is wings and air and she is firmly rooted in the earth, she is as far from him as one can be, but his skin and hers are the exact same shade and she finds the shape of his mouth pleasing. She likes the way he considers her his equal.

But Hermes is meant to fly, spends his time carrying messages for Zeus and meddling in things that ought not to be meddled in. He may be a fine enough man, but he’s no husband.

She has two offers – each from powerful gods, each attractive and clever. There’s no reason she should find them both as unappealing as congealed chicken fat, yet she does.

“I do not often find you alone,” a deep, feminine voice says, and Kore suppresses a sigh as she turns to greet the approaching woman. She sits deep in the forest under a blossoming apple tree, but this is not her dominion alone.

“I am not often alone,” she concedes, observing the blood soaked goddess. “I’m assuming none of that is yours?”

Artemis doesn’t have enough hair to toss it over her shoulder, but she runs a hand through it, pushing it out of her face and streaking it copper in the process. “Of course not. I hope you weren’t too attached to the bucks of this forest.”

“Animals are not my concern,” she answers, “Besides, I am the goddess of spring, and therefore am born from death. It would be foolish of me to reject that which bore me.”

“Funny you should say that,” she says, “since all of Olympus is gossiping about how desperately you seek to leave the sanctuary of what bore you.”

Kore raises an eyebrow. Artemis is clumsy with her words, but she supposes the woman has never had a need to be otherwise. There are few as transparently straightforward as the huntress. She smiles, “Perhaps it is more funny, dear cousin, how easily the words prison and sanctuary become entangled.“

Artemis crosses her arms and sucks her lower lips between her teeth. “No,” she says finally, sobering, “I don’t think that’s very funny at all.”

Kore arranges her skirts around her, the green of the thread and that of the grass nearly identical. “If you’re here to plead your brother’s case for my hand, I’m willing to listen.”

The huntress snorts, derisive, and Kore raises an eyebrow. “I would not recommend my brother’s hand,” she says, “There are other parts of his anatomy which leave many satisfied, however, if that falls within your interests.”

“I am a more desirable bride as a virgin,” she answers instead of saying that the thought of touching a man she does not love makes her skin crawl. Artemis laughs as if she just told a joke, but if so Kore is ignorant of the punchline.

She does not know if she could love either Hermes or Apollo, at least not for the eternity that marks a god’s impossibly long life. It would result in a rather lackluster love making, which is presumably their main goal in pursuing her.

She dislikes her options. Behind her is the gilded cage of her mother’s overprotectiveness, and ahead of her lies the gilded cage of a loveless marriage.

“Kore,” Artemis says, frowning, “if – if you are to defy Demeter, you must go someplace that she cannot enter, a place where her magic cannot reach you.”

“Where might that be?” Kore asks dryly, “She is as I am – all that grows from this earth is our domain. Perhaps in the sea I could hide from her, but Poseidon is no friend of mine and has no reason to grant me asylum.”

Artemis shrugs, a wry twist to her lips. She cracks her neck on either side and walks back from where she came, but not before calling out over her shoulder, “I guess there is no such place Kore, goddess of spring, born of death and Demeter.“

Kore is still for a long time, staring at the place where Artemis stood.

Perhaps she is not so clumsy with her words after all.

 ~

Slipping away from her mother’s watchful eye is always monstrous task, even more so since the rumors of her proposals, but she manages. She finds the River Styx and follows it against its current, walking past and through all the warning sign that she’s gone too far, ignores the prickle along her skin as she crosses the threshold from this world to the next.

Almost immediately she comes across a hooded figure standing besides a small boat. “Charon,” she greets confidently. She tries to catch a peek under his hood, but he tilts his head away from her and manages to give the impression that he’s frowning at her even though she can’t see his face. “I need passage across the river.”

“You are not dead, lady goddess,” he says.

She holds out a shiny gold coin, “I can pay.”

“You are not dead,” he repeats, “You may not be ferried across.”

She nearly snaps at him, but instead takes a firm hold on her temper and thinks. Charon did not say she was not permitted to enter the underworld, only that he may not ferry her across. She peeks into the rushing river. It’s so powerful and fast that it churns grey foam and the water itself looks black, or perhaps that is simply whatever lies beneath. She skims her hand across the surface and the skin of her fingertips comes away burned and blistering.

“May I swim?” she asks.

“There are no rules preventing the impossible,” he tells her, but his shoulders stiffen as if he’s grown nervous.

Kore is not nervous. Either she survives and manages to enter the underworld, or she dies and Charon will have no choice but to ferry her across.

She sheds her gown – it will only weigh her down and get in her way. “My lady goddess,” Charon says, and Kore would almost say he sounds panicked. “Please do not –”

She jumps into the river.

It burns all over, white hot pain that makes her want to scream, but she has no interest in discovering what would happen if she were to swallow any of this supposed water. The current fights against her at every turn, and her muscles bunch and strain to not be swept away. It’s improbably difficult, the most difficult thing she’s ever done, but she grasps the edge of the shore with peeling hands and heaves her bloody body unto the ground.

Her entire body is one throbbing wound. Perhaps she should have listened to Charon before diving headfirst into the river, but it’s too late for regrets.

“Are you insane?” a thunderous voice demands, and then she’s being lifted by strong arms until she’s settled against a muscular chest.

She forces her eyes open, and the man glaring down at her has hair the color of the night sky and skin as pale as bone. His nose is long and sharp, his mouth wide and thin. The only bits of colors are his eyes, a green so dark that at first glance they look black. She raises a hand and cups his face, and the water clinging to her doesn’t seem to hurt him the way it hurt her. “Hades,” she says, and everything pains her just as much as before but his skin soothes hers. The skin on her palms comes away healed.

He’s angry with her, but his touch is gentle. There’s not a stitch of clothing on her, but he doesn’t glance or grope, only pulls her against him and uses the sleeve of his robe to clear the burning water from her face. “Yes, insane goddess, I am Hades.”

She had not meant to meet him, only to hide among his realm until she could think of a better plan. But she likes him already, an instantaneous and childish feeling, one she can’t remember having before.

She turns into his chest and lets out a pleased sigh, content to go wherever he brings her.

“They call me Kore.”



gods and monsters series, part vii

8

Who do you think is a Political Animal?”

“I really would say, I mean, at this point I feel like Obama is definitely the most, the biggest celebrity in the world at this point, and also… It’s funny you said, you know, it’s funny because I say that because he’s the most known, but I don’t really think we really know who the most powerful political animal really is.”

2

The mobile network provider RBB’s phone is connected to confirms that (if the phone is pay as you go) in order for the SIM to stay active, someone needs to perform some kind of chargeable usage (a phone call or a text message, something like that, just topping up the credit should be adequate too).

In other words - we already knew this, but - someone is definitely still maintaining the number, nearly 18 months after OTRA ended and over a year since the phone was switched on for any period of time. (Either by paying a monthly bill or by switching it on and topping up or sending a text.)

[if you want to know why I think the phone is pay as you go and not on a monthly contract, click here. If anyone wants more information, send me an ask. I think I might rewrite my thoughts on that later on anyway.]

I did some outdoors sketching during a brief glimmer of sunshine, but the on-flowing mysteries past the broad river-bend were barred by a beaked guardian.

MESSAGE DELIVERED | pt.1

→ Pairing: Jungkook x Reader / Namjoon x Reader
→ Genre: fluff, smut, angst, humor
→ Words: 2,517
→ Rated: NC-17
→ Warnings: alcohol, language
→ Summary: A text message sent to the wrong number turns into a long lasting affair between two people completely opposite one another.
→ Note: This is an old thing and actually the first thing I wrote after the accident, and I decided to post it again because I kind of hold it close to my heart ? It’s not all going to be texts between the characters, but quite a lot of backstory and stuff the more we get into it. It’ll be told from both Y/N’s POV and Jungkook’s. Please enjoy! :)

Parts: 01 : interim : 02 : coming soon

cr.


The first time you receive one it’s in the middle of the night.

At first you simply stir in your sleep, turning around as if that will somehow stop the annoying buzzing resounding from under your pillow. When it doesn’t, you grab the cursed device and flip it over in your hands, wondering whom of your stupid friends decided to be an excruciating pain in the ass this late.

Keep reading

Slow Dancing on Hot Coals

Fic description: Rick and Morty have a serious argument about the state of their relationship.

It was like a routine they knew all too well.

A quiet knock on a bedroom door; the steady creak creak creak of shoes on a wooden staircase; and the shushed whispers of two people who knew they were doing something they shouldn’t.Two pairs of footsteps threaded as one, as they crept about the house carefully to not disturb its sleeping inhabitants.

Or maybe… maybe it was a dance.  

 A hand on the other’s shoulder, protective yet stern; the harsh staccato rhythm of two individuals who anticipated each other’s movements as easily as they anticipated their own;  and the looming hyperawareness of each other’s presence, knowing that one false move from either one of them would spell catastrophic disaster for them both.

The sixty-year-old man and his apprehensive grandson basked in the soft green light of a dimensional portal, ready to run off to do whatever inane mission was in store for them. 

“Rick, I just want to talk about something,” the boy stammered. “I-I-I’m… can I just say, about, well, you know—”

“Don’t worry MoURPrty,” his grandfather replied, wringing his hands. “W-w-we’ll be back before your parents ever find out. A-a-and y-you’ll be back with time to spare f-for your stupid test tomorrow.”

“I didn’t—”

“W-w-who cares about what Jerry thinks anyway—”

“Rick, just listen—”

“…And remember what I-I told you about school, Morty—”

Morty cut him off mid-rant. “I’m not talking about that, Rick. Y-y-you know that. L-last night—”

“What about last night?” Rick said sharply.

Rick’s sudden change in demeanor made Morty stop short. There was something about Rick’s expression that made it seem like a dangerous subject to touch.

“W-w-well, I…” Morty trailed off, suddenly feeling like he had been doused with ice water. Rick waited impatiently.

“Spit it out Morty, y-y-you’re wasting my time.”

“I think…uhh…”

 “Nothing? Okay then.” Rick turned to leave, one foot already in the portal.

“Wait, Rick!” Morty grabbed Rick’s hand unthinkingly as he forced Rick back towards him. “I—”

Rick’s chest slammed heavily into Morty. As Morty attempted to avoid toppling over, his grandfather steadied him with a deft arm wrapped around his waist. 

“Morty, you klutz — ”

The pair both stilled. They were pressed flush against each other, arms entangled as they held each other upright. The arm around Morty’s waist tightened as their eyes locked. The world tilted, the memories of last night coming forward unbidden. 

It started with their bodies just a hair too close together than the usual. A small hand pressed itself against the older man’s chest. A calloused finger ran lightly on the boy’s lower lip. The two stared at each other for a small eternity, their previous argument all but forgotten as they sat in the cramped space of the ship, the smell of stale beer mixed with vodka permeating the air. A whisper and a nod of agreement later, all inhibitions were thrown to the wind.

In no time at all, a lab coat was being shed, belts unbuckled, and shirts thrown haphazardly on the floor. The pair’s eyes were hazy with lust as hands roamed over each other’s bare chests. Their bodies twisted and tangled so intimately that they couldn’t be separated without injuring the other. A boy’s nimble fingers tugged hard on spiky powder-blue locks, his mouth open in pure ecstasy. The other smirked, leaning forward to lick the sheen of sweat off the neck of the boy more than four decades his junior—

Rick jerked away violently.

Morty’s eyes widened as he realized his mistake, backpedaling as if he was teetering on the edge of a precipice. “I-I’m sorry Rick, I-I didn’t mean—I just wanted to—”

“Shut. Up.” Rick’s cold voice froze the boy’s core. A tense atmosphere quickly descended upon the room.

“I’m leaving riOOOUght now. You either go with me or y-y-you don’t, Morty.” the scientist turned abruptly and entered the portal without another word. After some brief hesitation, Morty followed suit.

Throughout the adventure, Rick was as distant as he could be to Morty. Rick tolerated only the barest minimum interaction, paid him little attention other than to give him orders, and didn’t even look Morty’s way when the boy almost slipped off a ledge. Any attempt at talking that strayed too close to last night was met with silence or an obvious change of subject. Rick even flinched away from Morty whenever he stood a little too close.

It frustrated Morty to no end. He wanted to talk about last night. He needed to talk about it. His relationship with his grandfather had always been fucked up, sure, but last night had been different. Still fucked up, but different.

Last night was the first time he felt… loved. Truly, honestly, loved. Rick had hugged Morty close to him, whispering soothing nothings to the boy as he drove himself deep inside the other. He cradled Morty’s face as he gazed at his grandson with starstruck adoration. Rick acted as if he wanted to imprint himself on every cell that made up Morty’s body. But after that…

Rick had just sat at the edge of the seat and held his head in his hands, unmoving and with a stony expression on his face. After they made love, after Rick caressed Morty until he came down from his blissful high, he just grabbed his clothes, dropped Morty off at the house, and left.

Without a single word. 

And his grandfather was determined in pretending the whole thing never happened.

 Morty couldn’t take it anymore.

“FUUUUUUCK!!!” Morty yelled, causing every alien in a thirty-foot radius to turn their heads. Rick looked at him in alarm. Morty tugged his bewildered grandfather into an empty alley, ignoring the protests streaming from the other’s lips.

“W-what the actual hell, Morty—”

“I-I-I don’t care what you say, we’re talking about it right now.” Morty hissed, putting his hands over his hips.

“L-listen, Morty, I doOOUGHn’t know what the hell you’re—”

“You know, Rick. You. Know. Don’t f-f-fucking bullshit me!” The two stared at the other in defiance, until one of them caved.

“Fine,” Rick snapped. “You wanna talk so bad, Morty? Then I-I’ll give it to you straight. It was a fucking mistake.”

“Mistake? Mistake?!” Morty screeched. “Y-y-you took my fucking virginity!”

“Exactly.”

“How was that a mistake? We-we’ve done things that —w-w-what the hell was so different this time? W-w-we’ve made out, I gave you a hand job, you’ve even sucked me off — ” Morty was hysterical. His hands fisted Rick’s labcoat, quivering in anger and distress. “We’ve done everything short of actual sex, Rick! And now that we’ve done it i-i-it’s different? W-we weren’t found out—M-m-mom and dad didn’t even know I was gone yesterday — ”

Rick laughed without humor. “T-t-that horse left the barn a loOOGHHng time ago, Morty. The HELL we weren’t found out. Jerry and Beth found us swapping spit a-a-a whole month ago. W-w-why does it matter if they know if y-you were gone yesterday? Th-they’ve been thinking that I’m a child rapist for a month!”

“They can mind their own business, Rick, a-a-and stick it up their—”

 “Remember? Remember, Morty?” Rick taunted, prying Morty’s fingers from its death grip on his lab coat. “The-The whole family found out a-a-about us, the-they kicked me out of the house and threatened to call the police, i-is it ringing any bells for you, Morty?”

“I—Rick—”

“A-a-and now we have to sneak around at night to go on any adventures, Morty,” Rick continued, ignoring Morty. “W-w-we have to meet up in the middle of the night, M-morty, so Beth and Jerry and Summer won’t fucking have a clue—”

“That-that doesn’t mean–”

“A-a-and now, we have some messed up relationship that y-you think is completely normal. Do y-y-you realize what kind — how many dimensions consider us freaks? How many planets in this galaxy alone? This thing w-w-we have? I-I-It isn’t fucking worth it. To you, and more importantly, to me.”

“Geez, Rick! Twist the knife a bit more, will you? I-I know what we have i-i-isn’t normal! I-if it wasn’t a mistake for us before this, why is it a mistake now?” Morty yelled, distraught. “W-w-we’ve been doing just fine like this for weeks! You could’ve—”

“ — Drawn the line at molesting my own grandson? Yes. I could’ve.” Rick shook his head. “Oh, Morty…y-y-you fucking moron. Engrave this on your minuscule brain, Morty.” Rick leaned in, mouth brushing lightly on the shell of Morty’s ear.

“It’s always been a mistake.” Rick said, soft but clear. Morty recoiled as if he was punched in the face.

“Do you think I liked the fact I kissed my own grandson?” Rick sneered, his words dripping with malice. “Do you think I thought it was great that w-we’re fucking around behind everyone’s backs? W-w-what did you expect would happen? A-a-a happily ever after? A-a fucking wedding? A honeymoon cruise? Do you think that we’re j-j-just gonna slow dance and stare at each other’s eyes u-until the fucking song ends and we make gooOOURPgly eyes at each other? W-w-why the fuck should we stay together when i-i-it’s this much work to even be able talk to you?”

Rick stepped closer, backing Morty into a wall. “N-n-news flash Morty, we’re not slow dancing, w-w-we’re doing the salsa over hot coals, a-a-and we don’t know any of the fucking steps. W-w-what we’re doing right now? I-it’s just gonna burn the both of us.” Rick leaned away from Morty. “So do us both a favor a-a-and stop fucking pushing it, okay?”

Morty’s answer was swift and cutting. “No.”

“What?! W-what do you mean no, Morty, th-this isn’t negotiable!”

“I—I don’t believe you. You care for me, Rick,” Morty said, in one last desperate attempt to win over his grandfather. “You love me. Y-y-you can’t tell me that you don’t care about me a-after last night. A-a-after everything we’ve been through.”

There was a long silence.Then Rick uttered the words that would drive the final nail into the coffin.

“M-morty,” Rick replied with as much indifference he could muster, “i-in no conceivable reality is that sentence even close to true. I-I-I don’t love you. Y-y-you think you’re so special, Morty? You’re not even on the double digit list of people I-I’d want to fuck again. W-w-we have done absolutely nothing to prove the fact that w-w-we’re anything more than physicaUUURPlly involved with each other. Y-y-yoOOUGHr ego i-i-is so inflated, I’d be able to fill two Macy’s day balloons with y-your hot air. Get over yourself.”

Rick has seen a truly astounding amount of horrifying, sickening and bloodcurdling things in the long time he had been alive, but even he had to look away from the painful sight of Morty’s heart being shattered into a million pieces.

“…That’s it, then… w-we’re finished…” Morty mumbled. “J-just like that…”

Rick stepped away from Morty, ignoring his grandson’s tears. He pulled out his portal gun and shoots a portal to Morty’s house. “Y-you can’t finish what you’ve never started, Morty,” he said with finality. “The-there was never anything between us.”

He yanked Morty through the portal—

—Into the disbelieving and angry presence of the whole Smith family.

The two groups stared at each other.

“…I knew it,” Summer said, turning to her parents after what felt like an eternity. “I told you Morty was sneaking off to see Rick. And you guys didn’t want to stay up to check.”

I thought I told you to stay away from my son, you perverted bastard,” Jerry snarled at Rick.

“Dad, you’re not supposed to be here,” Beth murmured sadly.

The house was anarchic. The Smith family descended like vultures, tearing into Rick and eating him alive piece by piece. Over and over, they hurled their criticisms, until they had nothing left to give.

But it wasn’t Summer’s disgust, Beth’s disappointment or Jerry’s outright hostility that got to him.

It was the complete apathy in Morty’s eyes.

As Jerry, Beth and Summer crowded around Rick, Morty stood in the background, face impassive as the rest of the family doled out their verbal punishment. Mouth pressed in a hard line, Morty clenched his hand and climbed up the stairs without attracting anyone’s attention.

Anyone but Rick.

“Dad, I’m only going to ask you one last time,” Beth cried, tearing Rick’s gaze away from Morty’s retreating figure. Her eyes were wet with tears and her voice was hoarse from screaming. “Please go. Just leave.”

“And don’t come back,” Jerry added after a moment. Upstairs, a bedroom door closed quietly.

Rick left.

7

Rose’s whatnow

Honestly one of my favourite underrated Bismuth moments. Never fails to make me chuckle, along with the “You think it’s hot now?”/”Yeah. Like an oven.” exchange. Becomes really sad once you think about it for more than 5 seconds, just like all the Haha Aliens Don’t Get Human Reproduction bits from Three Gems and a Baby. They do try, though, bless them.

Look at this. So precious.

8

twelve days of twelve – day seven: favourite scene
I don’t understand? Are you kidding? Me? Of course I understand. I mean, do you call this a war? This funny little thing? This is not a war! I fought in a bigger war than you will ever know. I did worse things than you could ever imagine. And when I close my eyes I hear more screams than anyone could ever be able to count!