Oh my god im so dead after bellamy's scream. What do you think he thought/felt in the moment and what do you think he's going to do next?
short answer: he’s going to be dead inside my dude
long answer: oh man, i wasn’t even gonna publish this, i just quickly wrote it for @wellamyblake, but it holds all my Feelings about what bellamy is experiencing. SO, HERE, HAVE CLARKE COMFORTING BELLAMY.
Clarke finds him in the same room they made the list in. He’s sitting on the couch, bent over with his elbows on his knees, his hands over his face.
Every part of her is instantly relieved to have found him. “Bellamy,” she says quietly. He doesn’t lift his head. “I heard what happened.” Her voice breaks a little. She can’t believe it herself– Octavia, gone.
She expects him to tell her to go away. To shout at her, to do something. but he doesn’t. He just sits on that couch. He doesn’t look up. It’s like she’s not even here.
Heart-rate quickening, Clarke approaches him, sinking onto the couch next to him and putting her hand on his shoulder, squeezing it. “Bellamy?”
“I’ve realized that being happy is a choice. You never want to rub anybody the wrong way or not be fun to be around, but you have to be happy. When I get logical and I don’t trust my instincts - Thats when I get in trouble.”
I just came by some really old texts on my Macbook between Mike and I that date back to while we were dating. I’m cringing. The way I used to talk to him, compared to the string of short responses I always got. I’m genuinely sad that I wasted two years of my life. I would rather have been single and much happier than dating him and always being anxious and heartbroken. Don’t put yourselves through it guys, it’s not worth it.