Estranged, Lost, Found [2/2]

Summary:  Ford lost his brother to the portal he created.  By dismantling it to save the world, he ensured Stanley’s death.  Thirty years later, the winter his reclusive lifestyle is disrupted by a pair of painfully familiar twins, someone knocks on his door.

[A/N:  It’s 2:35 AM.  This may or may not be one of the best things I’ve ever written.  I’m reading through this now and chuckle-snorting to myself.  When I wake up in the morning I will long for death.  

But now.  Now, I live.  And I’m posting this before I can regret it


“You’re an elf,” Ford repeated blankly. “As in, a Christmas elf. From - Santa’s workshop. In the North Pole.”

“Well, it was a pretty long walk down here -”

It was this last bit of ridiculousness that broke the dam. “I don’t even celebrate Christmas!” Ford exploded, brandishing his hands wildly. “We don’t celebrate Christmas! We’re Jewish. Stan, what the fuck?”]

[AO3] [previous part]


Looking back, Ford wasn’t sure when exactly things had started going completely, horribly wrong.

He spent much of the next thirty years attempting to make up for his many mistakes. The process of dismantling of the portal had been difficult enough on his own. It took many years to slowly get rid of the majority of the metal and circuitry that made up its body. Even then, much of the basic framework still lied deep under his home, collecting dust in the dark basement of a laboratory Ford could hardly bring himself to enter.

More than anyone else alive, he knew that Bill Cipher had his fingers in many pies. Ford might had been his primary pawn, his plan A, but he highly doubted that the demon would simply give up on his millennia-long plans because of a momentary defeat.

The portal might have been taken down, but he was sure that there were other ways to rip open the walls separating dimensions. Especially… especially when they were already weakened. After all, the portal had already been fully activated once before.

It was difficult and time-consuming work, researching Bill’s previous movements throughout human history and planning, the best he could, against his future schemes. For one, it meant that Ford stayed to himself. The moment he had been foolish enough to fall for Bill’s tricks, he had enlisted himself into a lifetime of foiling the demon’s plans, in any way possible. 

 There was no point in getting anyone else involved in this mess, especially after what happened with Fiddleford and… and Stanley.

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You may try a thousand ways to make it work before you find the one way that works for you. There may be long pauses between your best and brilliant moments where it all just seems cloudy. Looking back at all you had planned, you may find you are not even close to where you thought you would be. But it is happening; this life of yours. What works for you is good enough. Those long pauses may be some of your sweetest moments. Your journey may have taken an unexpected turn or two, but it took you directly to who you are today. It all added up to something after all — to you becoming you. — Bryant McGill