thoughts i occasionally have

being mentally ill is so much fun!! i love liking someone then having a burning rage against them in 0.2 seconds. love it

“Raw and soothing” Ahkmenrah fanfiction / Introducing smut Mondays!

AN: Hello there lovely people. I apologies for not writing in a really long time but I was so busy and a bi sick. Hopefully you will forgive me , I mean if anyone cares - hahah. Anyways, I have decided to make a standard thing on this tumblr blog to post a smut with Rami Malek or one of his characters very single Monday. This one is with Ahkmenrah from Nigth at the museum. I really hope you will enjoy reading this one, feedback is highly appreciated.

Title: Raw and soothing
Fandom: Night at the Museum, Rami Malek
Pairing: Ahkmenrah x Reader/Original Character
Rating: Mature content - smuth duh
Word count: 798

- - - - -

Already crumbled up robes, tunics and pure white underwear were scattered all over the cold stone ground. Two heated bodies on the bed grinding over each other. What a mess, a hot mess.

A sixty nine inches tall, toned and sweaty man held your body close, with a soft smile appearing on his face. “Oh Ra, I have never thought we’d be doing this. But now, when I look at your stunningly blessed body by all the Gods, Hathor must love your very much.” He mumbled under his breath. His compliments made you giggle. After around seven months of working for the most important person in the World, the descendant of  Amun Ra on Earth, he had finally noticed you. The pharaoh could not stop himself from tracing soft, open mouthed kisses down your neck, then over your shoulder, giving you an occasional nibble then and there.  

“I have never thought, this could be reality either, in this world, a man like you, holding me in your arms, kissing me, touching me. Need I go more?” You responded to him shyly before he approved and placed a hungry kiss upon your lips, gently tugging your lover lip with his teeth. Ahkmenrah broke the kiss after a minute before moving his head a bit lower to kiss between the two bouncy breasts, gliding his tongue over the centre of your visible rib cage. You could not handle your urges anymore so you slipped your hand down and wrapped it around his already half hard length, stroking the muscle slowly intending to make it as big as possible. Eventually the man had let out an extremely low moan which could only be a massive turn on right now.

The man nibbled on his lower lip, looking up at you with eyes full of lust. You could see his appreciation. Several minutes later he moved his frame up so he could align his long length over your wet are, pressing the tip against one of your entrances. With a smile, but also a lot of nervousness noticeable, you wrapped your arms around his neck, letting out a little gulp. “I beg of your for kindness, please be gentle…” You muttered carefully looking at him directly in the eyes. “Don’t you worry my lady … I shall me as carefully and thorough as I can be” He said before gently pushing his member inside of you, slowly spreading your heated walls. You could not help but to let out a little gasp and a squeak. Once his length was fully inside you he began moving his hips up and down up and down, his cock in and out in and out…

Your body trembled with both pain and pleasure combined. But eventually, as his movements intensified and became deeper and deeper the pleasure was the only thing you could feel. Legs shaking and thighs itching, you couldn’t feel a thingy. You held yourself against his frame with a loud moan escaping your lips.

The wet walls became trembling and a bit sore, his length twitching inside of you, causing your to scream out and achieve your climax. The pharaoh then noticed your actions which made him feel extremely excited. His cock had slipped out of your womanhood and sprayed long thin white lines of a warm liquid over your stomach. He panted heavily before resting his body next to yours. His chest raising and lowering. “I am extremely thankful…” you had barely managed to let the words out before slowly drifting off to the sweet slumber of dreamland.

~ ~ ~ ~

Several hours later, your woke up  to the soft kisses down your neck. It was him, making sure you feel comfortable. “How are you doing?” he mumbled moving his lips over your temple, kissing open mouthed. “Excellent…” “Listen, would you like to join me in the baths? I will ask the servants to prepare us a really warm, soft, milky and comforting bath for us. How does that sound?” With a bright smile on your face you nodded several times. “That sounds absolutely wonderful. I think we will both enjoy it very much.”

The only things he did as a form of a response he picked your body up bridal style and stood up. Slowly carrying you towards the bathing chambers. “Enjoyable indeed.

He two entered a really spacious room with a big pool, filled up with warm and a little steamy water. Two big pots filled with milk were located on the right side. The bath well prepared for the pharaoh and his new concubine. Or maybe something more in the future? The pharaoh placed you down so you can stand allowing you to carefully enter the water.

It felt stunning. This day is continuously getting better and better.

Once someone told me that I’m as “deep as an ocean,” and it wasn’t until recently that I realized, I didn’t really believe it. Sure I have the occasional passing philosophical thought chain, but I’m too wacky and ridiculous to be like an ocean. 

Then I remembered this fucker: 

And suddenly being as deep and full as an ocean didn’t seem so far fetched. Because sure the ocean is full of majestic creatures: 

But then there’s shit like this: 

Originally posted by krgray

So never believe that your depth is only limited to the things you feel are majestic, but realize that it extends to your flopping sea pancake side as well. 

I think this is an unpopular opinion, but I really don’t understand when people complain about this site because like? Unlike some other social media sites, no one’s forcing you to hear people’s shitty opinions and you can literally just unfollow someone if they’re being problematic. Like whenever people go on about how terrible this website is I just can’t relate because I follow the people I follow for a reason, yknow?

the one time i tried to confess to a friend that i had obsessive-compulsive disorder, they said, “no you don’t, your room is way too messy, haha”

a human being literally said that to me

I know I’m not a bad person. Sometimes I have knee-jerk racist thoughts and reactions, but I actively identify them for what they are, and I make an effort to correct my thinking. Knowing that I occasionally have these thoughts makes me uncomfortable and I WANT to correct them.

I’m still new to dealing with trans people, and I have friends who are nonbinary and use a whole host of pronouns I’m not used to using in my daily life, but as someone dealing with my own flavor of identity crisis, I can appreciate their situation. I occasionally catch myself misgendering someone, either verbally or in my own mind, and, again, I quickly correct myself.

Never at any point do I feel like I’m “walking on egg shells” as people tend to put it. I think it’s just natural to feel compassionate about another person’s feelings and needs and to respect them.

That’s how I know I’m not a bad person.Sometimes I just have to remind myself.

the11thstar  asked:

Scissors, ruller and protractor! 😆😆 -natastudies

scissors: ever had a bad break-up?

no, actually, because my relationships tend to not break off cleanly. most of them fizzle out without closure,  and some relationships, well, some relationships continue for years and years. there’s this one person i can think of right now, and we’ve gone through the rounds of hurting each other just because we can, and we have screamed at each other and thrown things at each other, and we have  said I’M DONE so many times, but sometimes with a person, you never really are done with them. so no, no bad break ups for me. i do have occasional thoughts about how this or that particular relationship could have ended, though. and for the relationships that didn’t quite end, i get regular how have you been’s.

ruler: what line will you never cross?

cultural appropriation and having a relationship with a student (even though they are of legal age)

protractor: an unpopular opinion/angle you have on an issue

pineapples on pizza is a good idea oops

anonymous asked:

Do you know or think that Zak had suicidal thoughts in the past? And do you think that he can still have those thoughts occasionally even now? I know that this might seem like to be weird questions but I want to know your take on them.

Yes I know he did because he talked about it in his second book. I had a post about it while ago - how he said something like ‘the dead saved me when I was so close to joining them’. Personally, and I’ve said this a lot, but I think he did attempt to kill himself but recovered and now has this connection to the other side from his near death experience. To me, it’s the only thing that makes sense about he went from some DJ party dude to a ghost hunter dude.
And I think that unless u try to heal urself and seek therapy then u never really overcome feelings of self hatred. With Zak, fame and success seemed to make him happy for a little while but now I think he’s back in a dark place. But that’s just my opinion as an outsider.
It’s true that you could have all the money and fame u want but still feel hopeless and sad if your empty on the inside.

I don’t have the urge to jump in front of cars anymore. Or to swallow a bottle of pills so I can sleep forever. I don’t skip meals anymore, or scream until I have no voice. I don’t shove people away as much. I go out and hang with friends. I would like to say I’m cured. But that would be a lie. The truth is; I’m just okay. Because yes the above is true, but I still occasionally have intrusive thoughts that cross my mind. I don’t always look when crossing the street. And sometimes I’ll take more sleeping pills then the bottle recommends. And sometimes I’ll scratch myself to leave that comforting mark that calms me down but if you were to ask me “how are you doing?” I would probably lie and say “I’m doing well.” Because yes I feel like my world is dim, but I no longer feel like I’m drowning.
—  I’ll keep my head above the surface just long enough to catch my breath.

I was tagged by @headbangervixen and @xgrungeandroses, ty dudes <3

Gender: Male

Time right now: 4:11 PM

Average hours of sleep: Idk like 6/7

Number of blankets I sleep with: One but I end up kicking it off the bed in my sleep

Last thing I Googled: English to Russian translation :D

Favorite music artist: Nirvana

Song stuck in my head: Digital Bath by Deftones

Last movie I watched: Requiem for a Dream :/

Last TV show I watched: The Inbetweeners, and Ed, Edd n Eddy

What I’m wearing now: My school uniform lol

When I created this blog: I’ve no idea, sometime in 2014 maybe

I post: Grunge-related stuff, mainly Nirvana and AIC, political things, just-shower-thoughts, memes and occasional sadposts

Do I have any other blogs: Nein

Do I get Asks regularly: Kinda yeah, if I reblog a question thing

Why did I choose my URL: Thought of it randomly whilst eating a McDonalds and told myself my URL had to be that :P

Hogwarts house: What’s a Hogwarts

Pokemon team: What’s a Pokemon

Favorite color: Bright Red, Dark Red, Purple, Black, White

Dream job: I mean I’d really like to be a Psychiatrist or Psychologist but I’m not clever enough, also love to be a rockstar (wouldn’t everyone) or any kind of job that keeps me away from people tbh

I tag @suzybannion @sweetness-doesnt-touch-my-face @sleepingwhereiwant2 @its-cobain-kurt @wild-nirvana, only do it if you want of course :P

anonymous asked:

ah, about the sex thing, i would like to give a bit of my opinion on it. As a person, I have always thought that sex should be something occasional (even if I never really.. needed it) I very much prefer hugs, hand holding or just smooches and small smiles. It's probably partly because I fear sex, because it exposes too much of the bodily me, because it's so raw, that I become very much uncomfortable.

And that is what makes sex and the repeated rejection of it even more devastating. The vulnerability from opening yourself up to your significant other, the one you would believe to accept as much of you as possible, to want you saying no… It’s a terrible thing.

I’m not saying that one should have sex all day every day, unless the couple desires for it, I’m saying that this results in a build up of pain which leads to frustration. The sex, or lack of it, hurts a lot, because of the lack of attention from sheer neglect. Imagine if your beloved wouldn’t hold your hand, kiss you, or hug you, or think of it. That they don’t think of you… that’s the real kicker.


Keywords: dawn, relationship, side road

Q: What kind of movie will EXO be if EXO were to be a kind of movie genre? What about the movie genre based on your life?

Sehun: Fantasy. If I were to boast, I would say we did things that were not realistic, and we are going to do the same for the future. The members are all very different from one another too. If we were to be made into a genre, it wouldn’t be comedy but fantasy action? The main leads would be our team, EXO. 
If I were to seriously express my personal life, it would be a very sad movie that turns happy. Why happy, firstly because our members are doing so well and I, too, have widened my working field. I think it’s because of those two things.

Q: When and where is your favourite time and place? 

Sehun: I like midnight. About 1 or 2AM. The very mid of night. I think the feeling of tranquility and silence that one will only get at midnight suits me well, and I also really like the feelings that I am only able to feel at that time. I can also think more then.
As for my favourite place, I don’t really like being cooped up. If I was locked up, I’ll become gloomy. Or should I say that I get lost in my sadness. I have friends whom I always go out with. Though I like being with them indoors, I don’t really like it when I’m alone. 

Q: What do you mostly think of at midnight?

Sehun: Everyone might not think the same but, worries for my future, my expectations, my excitement, don’t we all have thoughts like these? Thoughts of our lives.

Q: Between something familiar and something unfamiliar, which do you enjoy more?

Sehun: I enjoy unfamiliar things. We’re comfortable with familiar things, aren’t we. But we have to adapt to unfamiliar places. Just like how we have to follow the Roman law when we go to Rome, I think the process of adapting to a new place is fun. New people, new things, getting to experience those kinds of things for the first time while there will be many eye-opening and challenging things too. That is why I think I can enjoy unfamiliar things more.

Q: Where do you think you will make your home if you were to travel your entire life? 

Sehun: I hope to have my home in Seoul. I think it would be great if my ordinary day is in the city, living with many people in a place where the air isn’t good and then sometimes going to somewhere that doesn’t have anyone and where the air is good. 

Q: How was your very first travelling trip?

Sehun: I can’t remember my first trip because I travel a lot. I obviously had my first trip but I just can’t remember. 

Q: Then can you talk more about a trip you’re thinking about now?

Sehun: With travelling, I should organise the trip and then travel. But I like travelling whenever I feel like it. I don’t ever plan it and I just go spontaneously. I won’t even bring my clothes, I won’t even book a place, I will just go carrying only my wallet. It’s fun going with my friends and doing things there. I don’t know what will happen but the people that I match well with all like that kind of things. So I think our relationship will last for a long time. If there is a baseball game when we get to a rest stop, we’d do that and then leave, and when we get to Daegu, we eat something. Those kind of unpredictable trips. It makes you excited. When I see others making plans for their trips, I also wish to do the same. I really want to do that but I don’t follow my plans very well. Then I think that will screw up the planning even more. So I just travel comfortably with a “Okay, whatever!” mindset.

Q:  How would you explain something that you like because it’s been a long time with it, and something that you like because it’s new?

Sehun: I think of new things as something that I get to experience and be enlightened by. As for old things, what I learn from them will become feelings and memories and that way, I can remember them. To be specific, it would be human relationships. I think relationships are the most important in life. With humans, the more you see each other, the more you become fond of the other, don’t you? The process of getting close with someone is fun. It’s the same with new things. If you meet someone new, you will obviously have things to learn from them, there will be things you get to gain and on the other hand, you will have an influence on that person. I think those kind of things are fun. 

Q: The past, the present, and the future. Which one of them do you think is the most important?

Sehun: For me, I think the future is important. I think about 10 minutes has passed since the start of the interview but that’s still the past, isn’t it. And so, I wonder if there is such a thing as the present. The moment a minute and a second passes, those moments become the past and besides, we are walking in the direction of our future, aren’t we. I think the thing about the present is that it’s quite ambiguous. Are we able to talk about the present? I don’t think so. That is why I wonder if there is such a thing as the present. Can we even call it the present. Of course if we look at the big picture, we can call the time from just now until this moment the present but if you really consider it, isn’t the passing of 1 minute and 1 second history? Time is always moving so isn’t the the future important? I think of it that way. 

Q: When did you experience the broadening of your outlook on the world?

Sehun: I like things that are eye-openers, I like learning, I like experiencing, and I said that I enjoy coming upon new things. And so I am the type to try everything. That way, I can inform the people that I like and I can be of help. When people say they’ll do something, I can recount my experience and that will help them. I think that also includes how I see the world. So I think I will challenge all kinds of things.

Q: What do you think is the most valuable among all visible things? 

Sehun: Firstly, I am unable to point out just one. Um, isn’t everything valuable? We use every little thing because we need them. Wherever we are, they are all essential and they are all important, are they not? It’s difficult coming up with an explanation right away but I think that even the things that we normally think is bad all have their own roles to play. 

Q: Among the things men made, what do you think is the most praiseworthy?

Sehun: It’s difficult just talking about one, so everything, all. Because wherever we are, they have their uses, and we need them. Isn’t it thanks to them, that we are able to live conveniently? 

Q: What is a moment that you wish to have in your life? 

Sehun: Um, I hope to have a very touching moment. I’m really looking forward to that moment. What it is specifically, I am also uncertain, but I wish to have a touching moment that renders me speechless. I think it is impossible to feel touched if you don’t like that person. When you think of someone you really like, when you were once touched by that person or because they did something that touched you, that is when you are able to come up with plans to make them feel touched. Surprise is also incorporated in the sentiment of feeling touched, isn’t it. Because if there is no element of surprise, you cannot feel touched. 

Q: If you have a twin or a doppelganger, what kind of person do you wish they would be? 

Sehun: We have to be similar. Ah, no. I hope they would be the complete opposite of me. Only that way we can learn from each other, and the way we think will be different too. I think it will be fun if their logic/reasoning is different from mine. I think only in that way, we can inform and enlighten each other. I like taking care of someone. I wish to become someone who strengthens the other. Among the many reasons why living is essential, I think that is one of it. That is my life’s joy. I believe that it is a really happy thing to be able to be of help. And I think that those things will come back to you. So if I die, who will be sad? I have those thoughts too. Among the people I sincerely interacted with, who would be sad? I occasionally have those thoughts too. 

Q: If you were born into a family with 9 brothers, which position would you like to be born as?

Sehun: The oldest one. Then I can take care of everyone. There is joy in busily living in a tough life. Of course I’d be extremely tired and I will need time for myself. But still, if I lived like that, I’ll have things to do and I think that having a life where you get to take care of things will be satisfying and interesting. 

Q: When have you felt that your life is perfect? 

Sehun: I think the greed of humans is never ending. Many a time I have thought that I don’t have more to wish for but because my field of work has widened, I want to know more, I want to do more, I want to experience things. By doing that, it seems like this is how I wish for more. Even now, I have something I am hoping for. 

Q: If you were to be invisible one day and only one person could see you, who would you pick that person to be?

Sehun: The woman I love. 

Q:  When do you feel that the day has gotten shorter? 

Sehun: When I’m happy. When I’m playing with people I love. Or when I go on trips. When I’m happy, I don’t think of what was difficult, or something that I am agonising over at that moment, or what I am stressed over, so it seems like time is passing so quickly. When you’re doing something you hate, you will keep thinking “when is it going to end” and you’ll keep waiting, when is it going to end. By doing that, you’ll become delusional. Then you will feel like time is taking too long. I think humans are mysterious in that aspect. When we do something we like, we go ‘I want to do this until I die.’ When we have that kind of mindset, we don’t have anything to wait upon and we have something we want to do and we do it. And when it happens, you won’t even know that time is passing. 

Q: If day or night was to keep going, which would you like better? 

Sehun: Night, midnight. The tranquil atmosphere of midnight. But day and night have to co-exist. Night is only nice because there is day. 

Q:  What time of the day do you think the sky looks the most beautiful? 

Sehun: Midnight. During that time. It’s very pretty. It’s dark but I like it. Even though we can’t really see the stars in Seoul, I don’t think that it is very important. I’m not the kind to feel moved when I see that kind of things. 

Q: Have you ever felt that someone is of great importance in your life? 

Sehun: I feel that way most of the time. If there is something yummy, I’ll say “let’s come together again.” When something bad happens, they’ll run to me. When something good happens, we share it together. People, though it doesn’t have to be the people I know, but I think that value that people have is amazing. And I can’t even measure their worth. Those people, are the first ones I think of. The ones I can’t live without. 

Q: What is the compass in your life?

Sehun: How should I explain this. If there is a road straight forward or backward, and if there is a road on my left and right as well as side roads, I will take the side roads. There are pros and cons of side roads. Side roads are fresh and they’re not complete. Also, there is something you can experience from it. As with the common straight roads ahead, because there are already many information on it, I know that there might not be things I want to try experiencing. However, as for the side roads, people who have not gone through them don’t know what they hold. And though it cannot be gauranteed, I might be able to be a bit more comfortable and be able to go faster, and it will be fun. The con is that there are many bends. Extremely many. And if you’re not careful, you might end up at the start and go the straight road ahead instead, you might not keep walking the same road too. So you need to be wise with your choice of roads. You’ll learn and experience many things, I think you need to rely on and go with people who make the the environment great. If I can only handle being wise, I will be able to safely and enjoyably cross that bend while living a dynamic life. I think being an EXO member isn’t all straight roads and within that, I want to have more dynamic experiences, do a lot more, know more things, help the people around me and learn from each other. I want to live that way.

Source: Oh_boy_412 (1, 2)

Probably TMI but...

I literally have no idea what my body is supposed to look like. I started restricting pretty much as soon as I went through puberty and my weight went up and down for the next six years or so (because I couldn’t physically maintain that diet and workout regimen and function at school at the same time, and I would also occasionally have times where I thought maybe it wasn’t healthy to restrict so much and started eating based on hunger and cravings, before eventually relapsing once more…) Around age 18 I realized my eating was disordered and I started slowly eating more intuitively (though still working out obsessively), but then I had mental health breakdown, left school, and started SSRIs, which I’ve been on ever since. The SSRIs lessened my need to restrict and work out, but they also made me gain a lot of weight just because that’s what they do. 

Idk, can anyone relate? I feel like I have no way to gauge what a healthy weight for me is or where to draw the line between healthy and disordered behaviors. I know working out is good for me, I know eating fruits and veggies is good for me… but it’s so hard to tell when I’m getting obsessive about it, ya know?

I’ve come to the conclusion that if you’re doing any kind of httyd AU, the dragons kind of…can’t be human?  not unless you want to change up their relationship with the “vikings”.  I mean, it’s not as though the dragons in canon are exactly…subservient, but at the same time there’s this feeling of “and now everyone has one!” that wouldn’t sit well with me were they, you know, human people.

so the conclusion would have to be just a simple “and now we’re all friends” instead of “and now we have augmented our society with the powers of these former enemies!!”  also, the whole “we’ve killed thousands of them” thing would be a lot harder to just gloss over.