thought you were forever

Our friends asked about you.
Saying your name didn’t hurt like it used to.
I told them I haven’t heard from you,
And for months now that’s the truth.

This is the longest we’ve been apart.
Almost a year now but it feels like it’s been longer.
I still feel the cracks in my heart,
But every day without you I grow stronger.

—  K.N.B.

Pinky.

I remember all the promises we’ve made together—all the good things you’ve said that I thought would last forever. We were like kids writing our futures without knowing how time could change us—how the world will try to always make us reminisce the past. How the people around us will try to mold us into something we didn’t want.

Ring.

It was the different type of love. I don’t know if fate is real or if destiny confuses us about what we feel. But I always imagine you with me, and my heart beating with yours in symphony. It was the most beautiful song I’ve ever heard. The most wonderful feeling I couldn’t get tired of.

Middle.

There’s always something that goes in between. Pedestrians passing by— every time the traffic lights signal us to stop. When you were walking fast yet caught up behind someone who is walking slowly enough. When you already want to do the things you love, but you saw something that puts a doubt in your heart. When you thought you already found someone who you can’t enjoy living without.

Index.

I choose you over anything else, hoping that you’ll also end up picking me over everybody else. Yet I put a finger on your lips telling you to stop spreading all the sugar coated lies. I point to your chest, hoping for you to be honest. Darling I think I couldn’t take it anymore, if you continue to pretend that you still love me more.

Thumb.

Believe when I say that everything will be okay, even if it will take a lot of time for me to heal. In the end I will surely learn from all of this things. I will still carry the love I have somewhere inside me. Not for you, but for—each and every—broken part of me. This is how I should let go of you. One by one, I’ll remove my fingertips away from holding your hands. One by one I’ll let go of you so you can rest and breathe. Day by day, letting go will ease the pain.

And until my hands stop bleeding, my soul will suddenly appreciate the wonderful life I’m living. In the end my heart will learn how to love myself more—and will finally consider it as my home.

—  ma.c.a // I should stop holding on you
At this age, everything is changing. Day by day we don’t notice, but just look back over the past year and you will realize everything has. People you thought were going to be there forever aren’t, and people you never imagined you’d be speaking to are now some of your closest friends. Life makes little sense, and the more we grow the less sense it will make. So make the most of it now, before it all changes once again, because in the near future, all of this is only going to be memories.
—  Anonymous
I almost feel bad for the young hearts who are about to embrace love for the first time. Do you remember that kind of love? It’s innocent and pure; it’s almost so hard to remember because at this point you’ve endured so much. You thought it’d last forever and it often left you breathless. You were young and brave and you’d never been heart broken. And then it shook you to your core, you were left helpless, confused and alone.
You’ve rebuilt yourself time and time again. Independence. Casual relations. A new love. (This is it, this is the one) Loss. Independence. It’s a cycle, but yet we almost crave it.
But here we are today. Reminiscing about the past. Love at most seems bittersweet and nostalgic. You’re almost too afraid for love again because you now know what it’s like to feel everything and nothing at once.
It’s strange to think that only two years ago I was writing love poetry about you. If I had been told two years ago or even one year ago that I would be the one to walk away I would have thought that person was insane. But look at us now. Still in this little town and yet we couldn’t be further from each other or who we used to be. Even when I’ve had to drive past your house it feels as if we’re a world apart. Sometimes I can’t help but wonder if you feel the distance too.
—  K.N.B.
Slippery When Wet

Reid x Reader

“You had sex in the Museum of Modern Art ? Oh my gawd..” Penelope’s hands were clasped over her mouth and she was almost shaking with laughter.

You all were. What had started off as a nice meal cooked by JJ, had quickly escalated into a full on girls night in. You were all strewn about her living room, wine bottles in various places. You were lying on her couch, your feet placed in Emily’s lap and you were all discussing the various strange places you’d had sex.

You were tipsy, pleasantly on your way to being hammered and you were having a brilliant night in with your female colleagues. Garcia was sat in the arm chair with her legs slung up over the side and JJ was sprawled out on her floor, her head propped up on her arms and a half empty bottle of wine next to her. She’d taken to swigging directly from the bottle as she’d smashed her second wine glass an hour ago and you’d all berated her for wasting alcohol. You knew where your priorities were.

“Yep! I used to date one of the security guards when I was eighteen. He snuck us in after hours,” Emily told you, her face pink with laughter.

“God…” JJ said. “The most adventurous place me and Will do it is in the shower, he loves it in there.”

You giggled, “Spence loves it when we fuck in the shower too, although I’m always scared we’ll slip over.”

The three girls stopped laughing and all turned to look at you incredulously.

“Spence?” Emily asked.

Your eyes widened as you realised what you’d said.

“OUR Spencer?!?” JJ rearranged herself into an upright position, crossing her legs and leaning forward.

Oh fuck.

“Y/N? Really? You and Reid?”

“Errrrm.”

JJ crawled across the floor and pulled out her handbag which was stashed at the side of her couch. Taking out her purse, she handed fifty dollars to Emily.

“Penelope, I believe you owe me fifty too?” Prentiss told Garcia.

“In a minute. I still…. Really?” She was leaning forward in her seat.

“You can’t say anything to the guys. Please. We’re not ready for people to know yet.”

“OH MY GOSH, IT’S TRUE!!” Garcia squealed and you caught JJ rolling her eyes and making the motion of covering her ears.

You took a big gulp of wine and nodded, readying yourself for the questions.

“When?” Penny demanded to know. “No no no wait.. I bet it was at Morgan’s party? Am I right, am I right?”

You shook your head. “We were together by then.”

“THAT WAS THREE MONTHS AGO, Y/N.”

Emily and JJ just looked amused, watching the exchange between you two. You gave them all a sheepish look.

“The time we went on that outward bounds team building thing? I remember you two lagging behind on the trails. Did something happen then. Wait… You two got back to camp a good thirty minutes after the rest of us. It was then wasn’t it… Oh I can see it now; you trip and Spencer reaches for you to stop your fall. You end up in a pile on the floor and stare into each others…. ”

“Pen, no. We were already together then too. Although something definitely happened in those woods.”

JJ interrupted her just before she was about to launch into another convoluted guess. “When exactly did it happen?”

“Erm…. You remember that case where I was really ill and Spencer ended up escorting me home and spent the weekend looking after me.”

“Hahahaha,” Emily laughed. “So you played a little bit of Doctor Reid and patient then.”

“Weeell not exactly. I was too ill. But that’s when we discovered that we both liked each other.”

“Girl, we could have told you that.” JJ sipped from her wine bottle, grinning at you.

“So wow… That was… ” Garcia thought back in her head, “Seven months ago.”

“Yep.”

“What’s he like, you know, as a boyfriend?” JJ asked.

“Perfect.”

All three awwwwed in unison. You weren’t lying either, Spencer really was the best partner you’d had.

“Does anyone at work know?” Garcia wanted to know.

“Only Hotch. And that was because we felt he ought to. He’s fine with it as long as it doesn’t effect our work. Which so far, it hasn’t.”

There was a moments pause before Emily cleared her throat.

“I’m just gonna ask what those two are thinking. What’s he like in the sack?”

“I can’t tell you that!!”

“Yes you can.” They urged, almost as if they were a practiced chorus.

“No, I can’t!”

“You’ve gotta give us something here.” Garcia begged.

“Look, all I’ll say is that he’s definitely picked up a thing or two from all the things he’s read, and that he makes me extremely happy.”

Another trio of awwws.

“I never really imagined Spencer to be a shower sex kinda guy though,” Emily piped up.

“Oh he definitely is. I swear, the amount of times one of us has nearly slipped over.”

…Monday Morning…

The girls had promised not to say anything and you were trying to find the right time to tell Reid that you’d let it slip. You’d decided that when you were ready, you’d tell everyone together.

You were sitting across from each other around the circular table in the meeting room with Hotch, Derek and Rossi, waiting for the other three.

Strolling in with smirks on their faces, they handed Reid a wrapped package.

You looked at them curiously.

“A present? What did I do to deserve this?” He asked them excitedly, ripping it open at their urging.

“An anti slip shower mat? I don’t get it?” He looked at them confused.

You were going to kill them. All three of them, together.

“Y/N was telling us the other night how you sometimes have problems staying upright in the shower,” Emily told him as the other two tried to keep a straight face.

“Y/N?”

“I’m sorry…… I’m so sorry!!”

He started to chuckle as did the other men. Standing up, he quickly walked around the table and pulled you out of your chair, wrapping his arms around you.

“I kinda let it slip too, last weekend when we were at Rossi’s.”

“Thank God!” Derek exclaimed loudly. “I thought we were gonna have to pretend we didn’t know forever. You have no idea how hard this last week has been for me, wanting to make jokes at your twos expense. Although… The shower mat. I don’t get it?”

Penelope whispered something into his ear and he grinned, nodding approvingly.

“Slippery when wet, eh.”

Thoughts for the day

Me: Wow, I can’t believe Skam is ending in a couple of days. That must mean we’re going to tie up all the loose ends of the many storylines Julie created this season.

Skam: *introduces new relationship drama with Eva, Jonas, Emma, and PChris*

Me:

Originally posted by lexarakoon

With time
Tears will dry,
Bruises will fade,
Cuts will heal.

But this pain in my heart
It just won’t go away.
No matter what I do.
No matter how long I wait.

—  K.N.B.

anonymous asked:

Can you write a fluffy Drarry getting together drabble where they've both been hanging out with Teddy, and they're not together. But like, Teddy doesn't realize because they act like a couple already, and he asks why they don't do couple-y things like Aunt Hermione and Uncle Ron, and it leads to Drarry. I absolutely love your writing, and I'm glad you've gotten your spark back. It sucks to be a writer with no inspiration (been there, done that).

thank you so much!

My Writing


Harry arrived at Andromeda’s house to see that Draco was there once again. He had been there hanging out with Teddy the past three times Harry was there. It was nice. The two of them actually got along now, and they enjoyed spending time together and with Teddy.

Harry smiled to himself before greeting Draco and Teddy.

“Hey you two.”

Both Draco and Teddy turned to see Harry standing at the door.

“Harry!” Teddy shouted happily and ran over to give him a hug.

Harry chuckled and hugged him back before looking at Draco with a smirk.

“Do I get a hug from you, too?”

Draco’s cheeks turned pink, and he playfully rolled his eyes before turning away to begin picking up Teddy’s toys.

Harry’s smirk grew as he walked up behind Draco and wrapped his arms around his waist.

“By that I meant, please give me a hug, Draco.”

“Shut up,” Draco mumbled, blushing even more, but smiled at Harry.

Harry continued flirting with Draco throughout the night, and he found Draco’s reactions to be extremely amusing.

The three of them then moved to sit on the couch just to chat for a while, and Ron and Hermione somehow came up in the conversation.

“The two of them are going out to a fancy dinner tonight. Hermione is really excited because they haven’t been on a date in a while.”

Draco nodded in understanding, and then Teddy cut into the conversation.

“How come you two never go on dates?” He asked.

Harry smiled down at Teddy.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you two are together, just like them, right? So why don’t you guys go out to fancy dinners?” 

Harry chuckled. Teddy, only being seven years old, must have mistaken Harry’s teasing flirting as them actually being a couple.

He glanced at Draco to see him looking down at his hands and his cheeks a shade of bright red.

“We’re not together, Teddy. Not like Ron and Hermione.”

Teddy cocked his head in confusion.

“But you act like they do. Like giving each other hugs and stuff.”

Harry rubbed the back of his neck.

“Well it’s just…different.”

Teddy then turned to Draco.

“But you like Harry, don’t you, Draco? I head you telling my grandma about him just last week.”

Draco looked at him with wide eyes and refused to look at Harry.

“W-Well I…he’s nice and…I-I like him as a friend, but we’re not…” Draco trailed off, not wanting to embarrass himself even more.

Harry smiled to himself and decided to let this slide…for now.

They played board games for a while until Teddy got tired and wanted to go to bed.

“So,” Harry began as he and Draco walked out of Teddy’s bedroom. “You like me?”

Draco wanted to slap the smirk off of Harry’s face.

“No, I hate you, Potter. You know that.”

Harry’s smirk only grew, and he stepped in front of Draco so he couldn’t continue walking.

“Mm, it doesn’t seem that way.”

Draco huffed and tried to step around Harry, but it was to no avail. Harry just moved with him, and then backed him up against the wall.

Draco quickly became a flustered mess.

“I like you too,” Harry whispered before softly pressing his lips to Draco’s.

Draco gasped as their lips connected, but then quickly responded to the kiss by wrapping his arms around Harry’s neck.

They stood there kissing for what seemed like forever until they were interrupted.

“I thought you weren’t a couple!” A small voice nearly shrieked.

Harry whipped around to see Teddy standing there, looking at them with wide eyes.

Harry grinned at him.

“It’s complicated, Teddy. Just go back to bed and don’t tell your grandmother about this, okay?”

Teddy nodded hesitantly and walked back into his bedroom.

Harry then turned back to Draco to resume their kiss.

 300 +  FOLLOW  FOREVER  .      i  moved  kate  over  from  my  multi   glorysoaked   about  three    —    almost  four  months  ago  .    i  was  hella  nervous  because  the  caslte  fandom  is  basically  nonexistent  and  i  didn’t  know  if  anybody  had  watched  or  even  seen  the  show  and  i  was  so  worried  nobody  would  want  to  write  with  kate  and  that  making  her  would  be  a  waste  of  time  .    but  now  there’s  over  three  hundred  of  you  following  her  and  still  genuinely  interested  in  writing  with  her  and  i’m  just  ??    i  feel  so  happy  and  loved  on  this  blog  because  you’ve  all  welcomed  kate  and  have  been  keen  to  write  /  plot  with  her  and  that  has  made  my  heart  v  happy  .    kate’s  a  character  that  means  so  ,    so  much  to  me  and  even  though  the  show  has  now  finished  i  still  get  to  write  her  because  of  you  guys  wanting  to  write  with  her  and  i  .    so  thank  you  all  so  much  for   following  me  and  wanting  to  write  with  me  and  just  loving  this  badass  ray  of  sunshine  .

Keep reading

to all the people out there in this world that are feeling the same feelings that I am feeling there is hope for you just stay strong with who you are ,one day someone will come along and love you for who you are ,there is someone out there for you
—  carter

anonymous asked:

to kind of go off the break up post, could you write headcanons for the rfa + v and saeran who had their heart broken fairly recently by their ex, but they meet mc and she helps them get over their exes and heal their wounds ??

☆ ̄(>。☆)


Jumin

- It was so hard for him to trust anyone, let alone women.

- All the women he knew now were just wanting him for his money. Maybe a few for his looks, but nothing for him. They never tried to get to know him, just assumed from rumors or press.

- He didn’t want them to know him.

- He hated having lunch with his father when a new woman was hanging around with him. Kissing in front of him, saying weirdly flirtatious things that should just be reserved for his father, if anyone.

- He hated, hated, hated, when his father left the women with him while he went somewhere else for a moment. His blood would freeze, his heart would threaten to burst out of his damn chest as he waited for what they would say, what they would do.

- Gross comment about his single life, once or twice an inappropriate pass. If they tried touching him he was gone, running home like a scared child.

-He’d lock himself in his penthouse, his bedroom, struggling to calm down with Elizabeth 3rd in his arms.

- The women were worse when he was a child, and he never understood that. Never understood why the memories would attack him so harshly each time his father had a new girlfriend. 

- Was he scared? Scared of the women trying to advance sexually towards him? But he was an adult, he could say no.

- When you started showing affection towards him, he was scared. He was so scared. He would never admit it. He wasn’t supposed to have such feelings. That’s what everyone had told him as he grew up.

- But you prompted him to share emotions, just like Rika did.

- Rika who teased him with relationship possibilities, who teased treating him right.

- Rika, who nearly drove him and his best friend away from each other with her sneakiness.

- As far as he knew, V never found out about the way she mused her and Jumin being together. But he was so scared V somehow resented him for her musings. 

- He didn’t want to lose the only friend he had. He didn’t want you to mess up his life, to give him more nightmares and threads.

- But you were so much kinder. More willing to listen, more willing to let him work through his emotions rather than forcing him to show them. He didn’t know how, but he was slowly losing his threads.

- When the two of you officially got together, about a month later, he finally opened up about what happened to him. When you cried, but still did your best supporting him and offering any way to help, that’s when he knew he never had to be scared of you.

Zen

- He could be anyone. Knight in shining armour? Badass punk? He could and would do it. Playing the big brother to make a friend happy? Playing the romantic fool to get the girl?

- He’s done it, and he would do it again.

- He grew up being told how he wasn’t good enough, how he would never be good enough. Since he was blessed with the skill of acting, why not use that to his advantage?

- Had he used his skill for romance? Certainly. To woo a certain girl or two? Yep.

- But each relationship would always fail, always, because he would end up heartbroken when they saw through the ruse.

- Saw how pathetic he was.

- No one could love him for himself. Not his fans, not Jaehee, not anyone.

- So when you started flirting back with him, he was scared and excited. So excited because he would finally be given the attention he craved so much, the sweetness he wanted to hoard to himself.

- But scared because he knew you would leave him once he couldn’t keep the rude up forever.

- He thought you were attach him to certain roles he did, expect him to act like ___ from the ____ play. 

- But you never watched his stuff? He was a little offended but…He was still excited. Did this mean he didn’t have to act for you?

- He didn’t count on it. But when you met him and kept asking about his past, about himself, and not his career, he was just…So happy. He kept it hidden, and kept it safe, but he was so happy.

- As the relationship progressed, and you started becoming close to him for who he really was, he just couldn’t describe how thankful he was to have met someone like you.

- Someone who could appreciate him for himself, to make him feel less pathetic, less disgusting.

- Without any acting, he was finally good enough for someone. He didn’t care if it was just one person, as long as that person was you.

Jaehee

- Romance was difficult.

- She didn’t have the time, the emotional range half the time. She couldn’t waste her energy on it.

- Since her parents left, she was constantly having to prove herself, take care of herself, be the best that she could be to be able to support herself.

- The first time someone confessed to her, she had no idea what do to other than thank them. It never progressed further than that.

- But after some mocking, the next time someone confessed she accepted it.

- Usually couples were able to support each other, right? They were able to help each other and be there emotionally, right?

- How come she could never open up to any of them? Share her feelings, the depression eating her up inside, the constant weight she had on her shoulders. Why was it so difficult?

- Her first relationship was a failure. The second was only slightly better.

- They were older, able to explore the more adult sides of a relationship. But she never would expect she would be taken advantage of sexually, rather than emotionally.

- She was just…bland. There were others so much better looking than her. She didn’t understand how she was just being used as some plaything.

- That relationship didn’t last long. Long enough to leave scars, but not long enough to make new ones.

- When you came along, started supporting her, she was so conflicted. You were so much nicer than everyone else, so much kinder, willing to talk to her about her interests rather than blow them away.

- You were wanting to be friends?

- But her emotions felt deeper than friendship. She couldn’t place them, she didn’t know how to because she didn’t want to compare her feelings to her past failed relationships.

- One night after the two of you had closed down the shop one night, you both had a strange very late discussion. For some reason the early hours of the morning made her open up more.

- For some reason she mentioned her past relationships.

- When you hugged her and kissed her cheek, explaining none of it was her fault, she cried for the first time in years.

Yoosung

- He never counted the first girl he had been with as his girlfriend, and luckily no one ever found out about it.

- It was just some girl on the same sever as him. They ended up privately talking and they found out they went to the same school.

- It didn’t take long for them to find each other, start trying to hang out, start becoming closer.

- But it was going so fast. He wasn’t ready like she was, he wasn’t ready for something so serious; not when he wasn’t even sure of his own feelings.

- The casual hangouts turned into her flirting with him, belittling him for not having a lot of experience, egging him on to try to be flirtatious with her.

- And if he tried she would just always laugh at him.

- Somehow, he didn’t even know how, but he started having feelings for her. But he couldn’t place it as love, or lust, just wanting to prove himself, prove that he wasn’t such a child like she insisted.

- One night she promised a relationship. He didn’t know how to react, but she reacted for him, dragging him into a make-out.

- She was gross, so so gross. Saliva was everywhere, she wouldn’t stop rubbing against him, and he just couldn’t think right.

- Wasn’t it supposed to feel better? Wasn’t he supposed to be happy.

- The day after she tossed him aside, and he never spoke about her. Acted like that never happened. He didn’t want to remember it.

- When you started showing feelings towards him, he was so excited! You were a good person, you were almost like Rika! Not selfish like that one girl.

- But he was so scared, so nervous. The last time he jumped into his emotions, he ended up getting so hurt.

- The first night the two of you were alone, he was so scared. He was so scared of hormones and the strained teasing of heavy petting. He didn’t want to think of her, but he couldn’t help it.

- But you didn’t try to take advantage of him. You just wanted to hug, innocently cuddle, dote on him and try to help take care of him.

- You were so warm and kind, so calming. It was so hard letting you go back home that night, but he was glad the next day when he woke up to loving texts from you.

- One day he might open up about that girl, but you were already thousands better than her, and he was becoming less scared by the second. 

Seven

- He wasn’t supposed to have feelings for anyone. His agency taught him that early on, taught him to kill such ridiculous emotions.

- But, hey, maybe he could give Zen a run for his money with his acting skills, because the agency thought he had killed his emotions.

- And for a while, it was easy to believe such rules. Never get attached, never get crushes, just life fast and pray you finish the mission.

- He needed to focus on helping his brother, anyway, right? Finding him? He didn’t deserve happiness until that.

- One undercover mission had him pretending to be the new bodyguard of a woman while tracking information for the agency. It wasn’t a quickie, either. He had to be there for a few weeks- nearly a whole month.

- And during that time, her silly jokes caught up to him, her flirtatious nature making him unable to sleep at night.

- As the mission drew closer to an end, he found himself more and more captured by her.

- She even cried and held him tight the day he had to leave, and damn was it hard to let go and pretend there was nothing between them.

- But, being himself and a hacker, he found himself needing to constantly check up on her- Make sure she was safe, make sure the agency hadn’t done any real damage to her.

- During the process, he managed to track down more personal info. Emails, online accounts, text records… Text records of her discussing how easy it was to get the guards to do whatever she wanted, as long as she flirted and pretended she cared about them.

- Well…That was a polite summary.

- He felt like someone had hit him in the gut as he read her cold words.

- Is this why the agency made such rules?

- He was unable to work, unable to think clearly, for ages. Because he was stupid enough to catch feelings for a target.

- So when you came along, of course he pushed you away. Of course he tried making you hate him. Just anything so he didn’t have to feel those emotions again. Just anything.

- But when you stayed, when you put yourself in danger for him, when you helped him with his brother. He couldn’t help it, he couldn’t help but catch feelings.

- And he was scared, but you were willing to do so much for him.

- It didn’t hit him until one rough night with Saeran. Saeran was losing it, his meds not kicking in yet to calm him from his meltdown. During the process, Saeran listed all the godawful reasons he hated him, how he abandoned him.

- He had heard it constantly since his brother moved in, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt.

- He was resting on the couch, trying to calm his racing thoughts when you joined him, wrapping your arms around him and kissing his cheek.

- He didn’t say anything, but somehow you knew exactly what he was feeling, and the right words to help him snap out of it.

- That’s when he realized that no matter how far he pushed you away, you always bounced back still ready to love him and give him your all.

- You even helped him when his brother was like this, even when Saeran screamed at you too.

- It had taken him a while to understand you weren’t going to leave. Not anytime soon.

- And when he did, he pulled you into a hug and didn’t let go for ages.

V

- He couldn’t get over Rika

- He missed the sweet smiles and stabbing pains, he harsh words, the straight out abuse.

- He deserved it. He always deserved it. For never getting her the right help, for never giving her enough. It’s what he deserved for being so pathetic and simple minded.

- The love of his life, and he couldn’t save her from herself.

- He knew it was gross, he knew he should get help, but he thought he should rot in this pit of despairing emotions, letting it suffocate him until all his loved ones left him too. 

- Just like what had happened to her.

- When you came along, he was still wallowing in that pit, drowning and refusing to pull up for air.

- But you helped him despite any weak protests. He wanted this pain, this depression, but he was always too scared to let himself sink down completely.

- You helped him. You helped him get into therapy, helped him learn what medication to take, just something to help him get back on his feet. Something to get him to stop hating himself so much.

- You knew it was going to take ages, possible a few years. But you were willing, you were patient. Because he didn’t deserve this.

- No matter what he did, he couldn’t control her brain. He couldn’t have sacrificed himself to save her, because not even that could have helped.

- When you explained this to him, explained how you were going to stay by his side and help him, that was the first time you ever saw him break down.

- He was openly sobbing, finally being told the words he was so ashamed of thinking of. 

- You held him as he cried, helped him start patching himself back together.

- He missed the feeling of being loved so tenderly, and he was so grateful to have it again.

Saeran

- Everyone knew he had issues. It wasn’t a surprise. He was sure strangers could guess just by a passing glance.

- He couldn’t understand why anyone would love him. He knew Saeyoung did, but that was forced love, wasn’t it? Obligated. No choice. 

- His mother had always told him he was unlovable anyway. Disgusting, weak, pathetic. She told him so often it was hard for him to believe anything else, even so many years later.

- One time he did try to believe otherwise. He tried to think he was capable of being loved. His savior had told him so. She had promised sweet words and affection when he did as she told, and she was the first woman he ever had positive feelings for. The first woman he thought had loved him back. The first woman to share his feelings.

- Only just to watch as she tossed him aside for that blinded fool.

- Therapy was supposed to be helping him through this, but each session he just found himself zoning out more and more, numbly pretending to listen to the advice given. 

- When you came along, helped him and his brother even after all the horrible things he had done, he just… He felt those feelings coming back again. Admiration, love, longing.

- He wanted to hold you in his arms and just whisper words of thanks for letting him feel something again. Something other than pain. Something kind and warm, something that helped eased the nightmares.

- But he was so scared. So fucking scared. He couldn’t handle rejection again, he couldn’t handle another heartbreak, another nightmare.

- Even though he was scared, when you first kissed him he didn’t voice his worries. When you first cuddled with him, helped him with a panic attack, he still swallowed his fears about you.

- It was when he discussed his therapy with you that he finally admitted his feelings. How he was going to disappoint you, how you were just going to toss him away like all the others in his life.

- When you teared up, he finally snapped out of his numbness, his stomach churning.

- But you just slowly opened up about how happy he made you, how much better your life had gotten, how upset you were that he would say such horrible things about himself.

- That was the day he decided to try and treat your relationship more seriously, more romantically.

- Unlike the others, you wanted him. And he wanted you, too.

Young Romance

Jughead x Reader

Summary: You and Jughead were best friends in childhood, until a miscommunication pulled you apart. Years later, you run into Jughead in the most peculiar of places.

     Being late to school had become a regular occurrence for you. You would repeatedly rush into class frantically ten minutes after the bell, and take your seat with all eyes on your and glare from your teacher. This particular day however, you decided that you were going to be early. Pulling into the empty parking lot, you smiled triumphantly at your success in actually getting out of the door on time and to school. The doors to the building were unlocked in the morning for the early rising teachers, and so you figured it wouldn’t hurt to go ahead and sort out your locker situation. You had never been the tidiest person, but your utter lack of time at school had resulted in your locker being a mess. Just as you were about to pass the first floor staircase, the janitor’s closet door opened. Jumping, you fell to the ground in a poor attempt to step back quickly. Looking around you, you realized that all of your belongings were scattered across the floor, on account of the fact that you had failed to zip up your backpack. It seemed like the world was against you. Reverting your gaze to the person who had caused this, you were surprised to see the town outcast, and your childhood boyfriend, Jughead Jones.

“Oh god, I am so sorry Y/N.” Jughead said anxiously, crouching down to help me pick up my stuff.

     Focusing on his face, you noticed the wet ringlets of hair falling around his eyes. “It’s okay…but why is your hair soaking wet and what were you doing in the janitor’s closet?” You said inquisitively.

     Jughead visibly tensed, but you just raised an eyebrow in further question. Sighing, Jughead stood up and reached a hand down to help you up, before pulling you into the closet and shutting the door quickly behind you. “This is what I was doing in the closet.”

     Analyzing the area I saw a blanket, books and clothes scattered around, and canned goods littering the floor. “What, living?” You quipped, sarcasm dripping from your voice. From Jughead’s following silence, you knew you had fucked up.

“Oh Jughead.” You said, looking around once more before turning to him in concern. “What happened?” You asked at the realization that he was literally living in the janitor’s closet at school.

     Scratching at the nape of his neck he pulled out a picture of the drive in and you looked at him with a blank stare. Rolling his eyes he tugged at his beanie. “That’s where I was staying before here.”

“But what about your dad, what about Jellybean?” Your worry became evident in your voice as you tried to piece together what had happened to Jughead in the 4 years that you had grown apart.

“My dad fell off the wagon. He was doing drugs, getting the family into dangerous situations, so my mom packed herself and Jellybean a bag and left. At the time I refused to leave my dad, but things got progressively worse and so here I am. Welcome to my humble abode.” He said, holding his arms out and nodding towards the small space he occupied.

“Juggie.” You whispered, so low that you questioned whether he had even heard you until his eyes met yours. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

     You knew why he hadn’t. It had been years since he had chosen Betty and Archie over you, and he damn well knew that you had wanted nothing to do with him ever since. Over the last couple of  years, you had internally forgiven him, but of course he had no way of knowing that.

“Well Y/N, I wouldn’t exactly call us friends. I would barely call us acquaintances as this point.” He said with a shrug and an expression that indicated anxiety and irritation.

“I care about you though. I never stopped caring about you.” You mumbled quietly, avoiding eye contact with Jughead.

“Really? Because it sure didn’t feel that way when you ditched me for fucking Reggie Mantle.” Jughead threw his hands in the air, exasperated.

“That wasn’t the same as you ditching me for Archie and Betty. I was dating Reggie.” You told him, reminding yourself of the horror that was seventh grade.

     Jughead just looked at you, searching your face for some recognition of something that wasn’t there. “Are you serious? Dating Reggie? You aren’t even going to acknowledge the fact that we together? Whatever, it doesn’t matter. We were 13, and we aren’t anymore, and we aren’t the same people anymore either. I don’t know who you are now, and you don’t know me. So how about we stop pretending and just get on with our day.”

     Your chest suddenly felt restricted and full of pressure. As your throat began to swell, you managed to choke out “What do you mean we were together?”

     Jughead stopped gathering his binders for a moment to stop and look at you. “I don’t get what you’re saying. We were together? Had we not always been together? We were children Y/N. It was so juvenile.” He shook his head as he reached down and picked up his laptop.

“I didn’t get the memo then, I guess. I had the biggest crush on you forever. I thought we were just close friends.” You spoke, scared of how he would react.

“Oh yeah, right. Because that’s why we were each other’s first kiss, and why I spent almost every waking moment with you, and why I got angry when you would talk about how nice Reggie was.” Jughead’s voice was beginning to get louder and you placed your hand over his mouth, knowing that people would be piling into the building by this time.

“We kissed because our friends had already had their first kiss, not because we were dating. And I thought we were just really close friends.” You argued, trying to make him understand your point of view.

    Refusing to meet your eyes, Jughead brought his hand up and detached your hand from his mouth. “This is pointless. Either way, we haven’t spoken in years, and whether or not we were dating as 13 year olds isn’t relevant anymore.”

“Jughead. Look at me.” You brought your hand up to his face and turned it so that he couldn’t continue to avoid your eyes. “I still care about you. I don’t want this to be your home. My family loves you, and you still talk to them. Why wouldn’t you just come stay with us?”

“Yeah, because it would be a great idea for me to just show up at your house one day, after our last encounter, to tell you that I am now a proud member of your household. Not likely.” He reasoned, which made you become frustrated.

“For fucks sake Jughead.” You said as he began to push past you to get out of the closet. Grabbing his beanie from off his had. You backed up, tripping on the bed that he had laid out on the floor and falling onto it. Of course, his hand immediately flew to his head and he groaned, turning around to look at you with distress.

“Give it back Y/N. You know that I can’t go out there without it.” Jughead told you, holding out his palm to you firmly.

“Come and get it.” You bit back, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards you, so that he fell onto the makeshift bed beside you. You held the beanie behind you, just out of reach and watched as he scrambled around you to try and get it, to no avail. Soon enough, he hovering in front of you, and snaking his arm behind yours to reach your hand. With his face less than a foot away from yours, you pulled your arm around and promptly placed his beanie right back on his head, before using it as leverage to pull his face closer to yours.

     Jughead, exhausted, didn’t move, and you watched as his eyes fluttered, eyeing your lips and then your eyes again. “You’re going to regret it.” He whispered, his breathing fanning over your face. Ignoring his comment, you leaned up and pressed a small kiss to his lips, before deepening the kiss and sliding down so that he was effectively positioned with one leg between yours, hovering on top of you. At this point, you knew that he had the upper hand, that he could push himself off of you and leave, but instead he placed his hands on either side of you and kissed you back. His lips were soft, and you could feel him shaking slightly, but you didn’t care. Disconnecting your lips, you gave him multiple pecks before lightly pushing him to let you sit up.

You watched him for a second and he watched you, both of you apprehensive of what to do or say next.

Finally, after what felt to you like an eternity, he spoke. “I’ve missed you.”

Smiling, you traced your fingers on his leg and nodded. “I’ve missed you too.”

Jughead looked down at the light circles you were making on his leg and reached his hand down to intertwine it with yours. “I’m sorry for being so irritable. I’m going through a lot and talking to you just…it just-”

“Hey, Juggie, I get it. You don’t have to explain anything to me. When we stopped being friends, I went through a long period of resentment. I was angry that you looked so happy with Betty and Archie, that you could move on so quickly.” Your throat closed up as Jughead’s thumb gently brushed yours. “I was just a kid and you were my only friend, and I’m sorry that I didn’t just talk to you.”

Jughead smiled softly and fixed the beanie atop his head. “I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you that I thought we were dating. Gotta love that young romance.” He said laughing a bit.

You smiled back at him. “I know we are still young, but do you think we could try it again? You know, where both of us know that it’s happening this time?”

Rolling his eyes, he brushed off his pants and stood up, lending you a hand. “Buy me an apology burger at Pop’s tonight and I’ll think about it.”

     Scoffing at his remark, you hit him playfully. Jughead caught your arm and pulled you close to him, the heat of his body radiating onto your own. Squeezing your hand lightly, he brought his other hand up to your face and ran his thumb smoothly over your skin. A small peck was placed on your lips, gentle and forgiving. Looking up into his eyes, the gleam of them twinkling back at you, you relaxed into the knowledge that for you two, this wouldn’t stop at young romance.