thought catalog

It’s not that you’re too heavy, or too thin. It’s not because you’re too slutty, or too much of a prude. It has nothing to do with the size of your breasts or your thighs or your stomach.

It’s not that you’re too successful, or not successful enough. You could spend your entire life asking yourself what you did wrong, or what it was about you that wasn’t good enough for him, what it was that other women had that you were missing.

You’ll never find the answer. Because there’s nothing wrong with you. It’s not that you aren’t pretty enough or smart enough or confident enough. It’s not your finances or your job or your friends.

You are just as you are supposed to be. You are perfect even amongst all of your imperfections. As long as you maintain a thirst for life, a desire to work hard and live truthfully, and the willpower to grow and to improve yourself and to try harder every day, you are just as you should be.

You will never be enough for him because even the most perfect, flawless woman in the world – who does not exist – would never be enough for him.

It’s him. He’s part of a certain breed. A breed that does not want to accept you for who you are, because they’re afraid of stopping the chase. They’re afraid of settling down and trying to find the true kind of love, the kind in which your love for someone is so deep that you learn to accept them and to love them just as they are. The kind of love that is so deep that their beauty seems to radiate outwards from within.

This type of breed is afraid of stopping and trying to find that love. It’s not necessarily the love that they’re afraid of. It’s the stopping. They’re afraid of stopping and discovering that they will potentially never find that kind of love. They’ve rejected you because they’re afraid of facing rejection themselves.

This type of breed does not apply to all men, just a small number. And it’s just not with men that these fears of intimacy and rejection exist. There are women like this too. There are people all over the world like this – people who continue to find issues in whomever they date, people who cannot accept anyone who’s less than perfect. Because they know, subconsciously, that they will never find this person. The high standards, the no one is good enough mindset will keep them safe. It will keep them alone.

This is not meant to be an excuse, this is not to say that you are faultless, this is not to say that you have no responsibility in your relationships. You have to try, you have to compromise, you have to be vulnerable, you have to put the other person in front of yourself. You have to work, you have to be selfless sometimes, you have to acknowledge that you have flaws, that you have made and will continue to make mistakes.

But sometimes, regardless of how hard you try, you find yourself desperately in love with someone who cannot love you back. Someone who refuses to accept you, because it’s easier to make you think something’s wrong with you than it is for them to be vulnerable and human and open to the idea of being hurt.

You cannot change them. You cannot fix them. You cannot fix you. Because you cannot apologize for who you are. You should not question what is wrong with you or what you’re missing or what you need to change.

Someone who truly loves you, someone who is truly right for you, will not force you to turn inside yourself and search for what it is about you that is wrong, what it is that needs to be changed. A person who truly loves you will bring you outside of yourself. They will bring you out into the world. They will make you want more for yourself – more happiness, more knowledge, more adventure, more experiences. The list is endless. They will excite you and support you and inspire you to be better, instead of causing you to become trapped inside your own head, wondering how you can change yourself to make them happy.

When you’ve found real love, you’ll know it. Because you’ll always be enough, regardless of your flaws and your insecurities and your vulnerabilities. You will be enough for them anyways, and they will be enough for you.

—  Why You’ll Never Be Enough For Him, Kim Quindlen 

Thursday, 22 June — 101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think by Brianna Wiest | Book Review, 5/5⭐️

As the title said this book contains 101 essays that will literally change the way you think and I sincerely think that everyone should read it and use it on a daily basis. At first I must admit that was a little bit worried, as a non-english native speaker I thought that essays would be very hard for me to understand but it wasn’t a problem at all! This book helped me in so many different ways, it helped me being a better version of myself, and helped me seeing things differently but mostly changed my perception of life.
What I liked the most about this book was the author’s honest and deep writing style, and that’s maybe the reason why I was feeling very connected with a lot of her essays. Speaking about the essays, some of them were extremely short and I found that very cool, because in my mind, essays were always some boring and long texts dealing with boring content but this book literally changed the way I think about that. All of her essays were very interesting to read and it was quite hard for me to put the book down!
I’ve read this book during my finals and it was perfect to take a little break and read 3 to 5 essays between subjects!
So as you may now know, this book is now one of my ultimate favorite, and I’ll for sure re-read some essays! I highly recommend you to grab a copy of it, because I’m sure that everyone can connect with it!

While writing this review I challenged myself to pick my top 3 essays of this book so here are the titles: “If We Saw Souls Instead Of Bodies”, “20 Signs You’re Doing Better Than You Think You Are”, “You Are A Book Of Stories, Not A Novel”

Here is a summary: Over the past few years, Brianna Wiest has gained renown for her deeply moving, philosophical writing. This new compilation of her published work features pieces on why you should pursue purpose over passion, embrace negative thinking, see the wisdom in daily routine, and become aware of the cognitive biases that are creating the way you see your life. Some of these pieces have never been seen; others have been read by millions of people around the world. Regardless, each will leave you thinking: this idea changed my life.

I want a life with you. I want to fast forward this part, right here, when we are living out our separate lives miles from each other. I don’t want our worlds to only collide by text or to touch your face through a computer screen, tracing the outline of your jaw and imagining the softness of your hair beneath my fingers. I do not wish for dates set weeks from now and checking them off on my phone and going to sleep each night, grateful another day has disappeared.

No, quite simply my love I want our universes to be so tangled, so intricately wrapped that missing you will only be an option when sleep finds me.
I want a life with you, a home with you, a bed and the same four walls. I want to brush my lips across yours as I leave for work in the morning, knowing that we will be together when night falls. I want to kick off my shoes and have you rub my feet and tell you about my day, about my horrible boss and rude clients and for you to say all of the right things at the right time, just like you always do.

I want late night runs to the grocery store for popcorn and candy before we climb into our matching onesies and binge watch The Walking Dead and to then lie awake deep into the night, discussing how we would survive zombie apocalypse—you laughing at my terrible survival instincts before pulling me close into your chest and telling me “I’ve got your back.”

Because you always have.

I want those quiet mornings when we’re both working hard, not speaking but existing in the same space, taking it in turns to make tea and coffee and I want those days when our passion consumes us and we tear apart the entire house, like young lovers again lost to each other without a care in the world.

I want D.I.Y with you, building flat pack furniture and arguing over the stupid instructions before collapsing into fits of laughter and cracking open the wine. I want to feel your hand at the small of my back as we throw our first house gathering, each of us filtering into the room to speak to our friends but always catching each other’s eyes and smiling knowing that we have made it, we are here, this is ours.

So please, let us skip this part, press fast forward, let us return to each other and build our life together. I want all of those in-between bits, the mundane every day bits when we will get annoyed at each other for leaving the milk out or not washing the dishes straight away or finding socks at the foot of the bed. I want us to talk about chores, what we need from the shop and which family event we need to attend this month.

I want that small pleasure at a simple life with you because my love, no day is ordinary with you, no day will need anything other than your existence, your smile, your gentle touch.

And maybe I am silly for wanting to rush it, maybe I am forgetting that the distance is romantic in its own way, maybe I should be making the most of this last year of studying before I dive into my writing career but really, truly, I just want you, no more, no less.

Only you, and us. And our life together.

—  Rose Goodman Via Thought Catalog
Personality...... A reminder

Thank you @heidipriebe for the wonderful post

ENFP: You need roots just as much as you need wings.

INFP: That talent that you’re afraid to show the world is probably exactly what the world needs.

ENFJ: Nobody is judging you as harshly as you are judging yourself.

INFJ: You don’t have to have the entire course mapped out in order to take the first step.

ENTP: Whatever you are trying to control, controls you.

INTP: Sometimes the problem is not that you cannot find the answer, but that you are phrasing the questions incorrectly.

ENTJ: You can’t always control your environment, but you CAN control your reaction to your environment.

INTJ: Your frustrations with the outer world are always a reflection of your frustrations with your inner world.

ESFP: Deep down, you know exactly what you want and how to get it – you just have to trust yourself enough to choose it.

ISFP: Don’t worry so much about perfection – there is absolutely nothing less interesting than perfection.

ESFJ: The person who is the most deserving of your unconditional love and generosity is you.

ISFJ: The people you love want you to make yourself a priority.

ESTP: Boredom and routine are not fatal – they might even be helpful if used in moderation.

ISTP: When you can’t work out the truth, listen to your intuition – it knows a thing or two, too.

ESTJ: Sometimes taking a break to recharge is, paradoxically, the most efficient move you can make.

ISTJ: Sometimes you just have to be the moral compass you want to see in the world.

I’ve always been fascinated by
How beautifully people say
That they miss someone

The French say “Tu me manques”
Or “You’re missing from me”

The Portuguese use the word “saudades”
Which is the love that remains,
After the person is gone

The Spanish say “Me haces falta”
Or “I feel the lack of you”

The Indians say “मुझे तुम्हारी याद आ रही है “
Or “Your memories keep coming back to me”

And the English say “I miss you"

Like you’re the bull’s eye,
And I’m a dart.
I almost hit you,
Almost, but not quite.
I miss you.

Like you’re a train,
And I’m running late.
I almost catch you,
Almost, but not quite.
I miss you.

Like you’re the sunset,
And I blinked.
I almost see you,
Almost, but not quite.
I miss you.

Like you’re you
And I’m me
I almost ask you to stay
Almost, but not quite.
You’re gone,
And I miss you.

(Source: thoughtcatalog instagram)

El amor no duele. Si lo hace no es amor, es otra cosa. Miedo. Apego. Idolatría. Adicción. Dependencia emocional. Pero dolor no es. De hecho, es todo lo contrario. El amor no hace que la gente sufra. De hecho lo que consigue es que la gente este más sana. Más feliz.
—  David Cain | Thought Catalog

Stop settling for friends who make you feel like you can’t be yourself, or that you have to change a large part of who you are in order to be good enough for them.

Stop settling for a life of sitting still, of watching other people go after what they want while you sit back because you’re too afraid to try.

Stop settling for toxic social environments. If you’re invited to a dinner outing with a group of gossipy and judgmental people, politely decline. If you have to go because it’s a work thing or because you need to support your partner, go for an hour and leave. Don’t ever give more of yourself and your energy than you need to.

Stop settling for being an ‘okay’ friend. If a friend is going through a bad breakup, show up to their apartment with beer and cake and don’t leave until they’re ready for you to leave. Show up for the people who show up for you.

Stop settling for the idea that fear is always something that should be avoided. If your heart starts pounding when you think about applying for that job or signing up for that acting class or trying to make amends with that one friend, listen to it. Embrace the fear. Fear is a compass.

Stop settling for a life of being on autopilot. Of commuting to work like a zombie, of playing on your phone instead of being fully present for movie night with your friends, of thinking about what you’re going to say next when you’re talking to someone. Just let yourself relax, and be there. Something will always come afterwards, just trust.

Stop settling for the idea that happiness is a milestone to attain instead of a state of being. At some point, you must grasp that if you just keep chasing and chasing, there will always be something new to want. But if you start focusing on the joy of being, simply being, you’ll have a much easier time finding happiness. After all, it’s already there. It’s always been there.


21 People On What They Would Tell Their 19-Year-Old Selves
  • Jonathan, 55: There is no such thing as “the only one”. You will meet lots of “the ones”. Only commit when the timing is right for the both of you – that can take years for some, and that’s okay.
  • Miranda, 24: Drop pre-med.
  • Isaac, 48: Deodorant does not count as a shower, and that haircut only looked good on Bon Jovi.
  • Anya, 42: Make the conscious decision to be happy, and then stick with it. Society will do everything in its power to convince you that your personal happiness is dependent on something external – beauty, success, wealth, etc. – it isn’t.
  • Parker, 55: 60% of the things you think are important now won’t matter a whit to you by the time you reach 50. The trick is to figure out the important 40% and work it.
  • Megan, 34: He doesn’t love you, and you will be okay.
  • Peter, 58: Don’t let anything stand in your way of taking part (or all) of your junior year abroad. You’ll never again have quite the same opportunity to experience a foreign land, for an extended period of time, in your youth. It is destined to be one of the most memorable aspects of your life.
  • Eleanor, 67: Talk less. Listen more.
  • Donald, 27: There’s a huge difference between who you want to be and who everyone around you wants you to be. Figure out which is which.
  • Camille, 56: Always remember: when falling off a horse, pull your tongue in.
  • Jackson, 57: No one knows anything for sure. They’re all just doing the best they can with what they have, just like you.
  • Vicki, 47: You’ll never have all the answers, so make every question count.
  • Donald, 38: You don’t have to grow up to be the dad you never had.
  • Katelyn, 30: Make the most out of college. You will never again be at a place where your only goal is to learn. Learn a lot, learn often, and learn with reckless abandon.
  • Joshua, 55: Women love to laugh.
  • Annabelle, 38: Drugs are not beautiful, glamorous or opulent. They are not a remedy, a solution, a cure-all, or a cure-anything.
  • Colin, 50: You miss so much life when you sleep until 3 PM. Wake up to see sunrises; they are the most stunning of nature’s masterpieces.
  • Eleanor, 26: Eating two pints of ice cream won’t make you happy. Neither will sprinting 10 miles. Be nice to yourself.
  • Aaron, 52: Don’t forget to ask that girl in the Oberlin library what kind of perfume she’s wearing. You’ll buy it for her in 20 years.
  • Scarlett, 54: Don’t be afraid to be yourself. Those that get you will love you, those that don’t, well, their loss. Just remember: Wherever you are, it’s a party.
  • Zack, 9: I hope you’re awesome. And be nice to girls.
I Flat-Out Refuse To Marry Anyone Unless These Are Our Vows

“Marrying you is not the end of my liberty; it’s the beginning of it.

You’re the person I want to dive headfirst into life with. When I go out on the weekends, it is you I want shutting down the club with me. When I plan an adventure it is you I want holding the map. When I speculate about the future, I want to see you in every outlandish fantasy I plan for myself. You’re the person I want to rant excitedly to over happy hour drinks. You’re the person I want to dance around the house with in my underwear with. You’re the person who makes the whole world feel wide-open to me and I want to take advantage of that. I want to plunge into the future with you – because it looks bigger and brighter by your side than I ever could have imagined.

‘Something about you inspires me to be bigger, brighter, bolder than I ever knew that I could become. And I hope that I inspire you, too.’

I don’t want to settle down with you. I want to take off with you – to far-away countries, foreign landscapes, gems and corners of the world that would only have looked half as amazing without you by my side. When I strap on a backpack and head to the airport, I want you to be boarding that plane with me. You’re the person I want to get lost with, set up camp with, stumble through dark streets with at 5a.m. with after a long, rambunctious night in a city that we can’t pronounce the name of. When I get home and have tale after ridiculous tale to recite to my friends, you’re the one I want there to back up my claims. You’re the person I want to come home to and the person I want to escape with. I want you on every adventure I take for the rest of my life. I want to do everything on earth with you.

I don’t want to be the person you always agree with. I want to be the person you challenge – to change, to grow, to expand in ways that wouldn’t have ever occurred to me before I met you. I want heated debates at 3am. I want stark disagreements when I’m acting out of line. I want passionate arguments about the way we’re living because your fire fuels mine and I never want that spark to die out. I want to be someone you aren’t afraid to challenge because sometimes I need that extra push. And you can bet your ass that I’ll push you right back.

I don’t want to let myself go now that I have you – I want to build myself up alongside you. Something about you inspires me to be bigger, brighter, bolder than I ever knew that I could become. And I hope that I inspire you, too. That together we can encourage one another to grow into the fullest, strongest, fiercest versions of each other. That ten years from now we will be prouder than ever to be standing beside one another and that twenty years later we’ll be even prouder still. I hope you’re not expecting to grow stagnant in love because something about you makes me feel like my best self on steroids and I do not plan to let that feeling die.

If there’s anything I am not worried about, it’s us falling apart. The truth is I never fell in love with you anyway; I walked into love – surely, deliberately and without a backwards glance. I chose you from the first day I met you and baby I promise to keep choosing you. Through every fight, I’ll choose you. Through every temptation, I’ll choose you. Through every twist and bump in the road that threatens to tear us apart I will choose you with the ferocious certainty I’ve felt since the first time I ever laid eyes on you. I’m not worried about falling out of love with you baby, because I never fell in. Loving you was a waking, conscious choice and it’s one that I’m going to keep making until the day my heart stops beating.

Now let’s stop with these frivolous vows – there’s a party to have! We have gifts to tear open and champagne to chug and a whirlwind honeymoon to go embark on. This whole marriage thing is old and tired but we most certainly are not. After all, you’re only young and wild once. And baby, our wildest days are just beginning.”

- Heidi Priebe

A girl without a father does not want to create waves because she has been underwater longer than she cares to explain. She is not a pushover, though you may push and ask why she is so scared of doing something, anything, that will upset someone. You ask how she can be so brave on paper, but so scared of talking to someone face-to-face. She will deflect and bite back with sarcasm. She self-deprecates, calls herself messed up like it’s as casual as her first name. You will think maybe this is it. Maybe she will never be honest with you.

Here is the truth: it should not be surprising that conflict makes her skin crawl. It should not be absurd that she will passively sit by, figure out the best way to avoid saying anything that will put a riff between her and someone she loves, because people can fucking leave. And that is the most terrifying thing she has ever learned. If the only man she ever truly needed left when she was not done needing him, it is fair game for anyone else to decide it’s not worth it.

For anyone else to decide she’s not worth it.

But none of that will spill out very easily. She doesn’t want these labels: The one with abandonment issues. The one who keeps you at a distance. The one looking to fill a void. The fatherless girl. She does not want your pity.

—  Ari Eastman, What It Means to Date a Girl Without a Father 
What You’re Like In A Relationship, Based On Your Zodiac Sign

Aries(March 21st to April 19th)
An Aries is insanely flirtatious, and they will always take initiative when it comes to romancing the person they are interested in. They are filled with passion and a need for adventure, and they bring a lot of excitement and energy to a relationship. Once in love, an Aries will be committed for life. The best, most long lasting relationships for an Aries always incorporate spice and activities that keep their fire burning. Every single day with an Aries will be different and filled with thrills, and they will make sure that their love will never be boring or average.

Taurus(April 20th to May 21st)
In a relationship, a Taurean is very traditional in the sense that they will love going out on dates. However, they are also homebodies, so a lot of your time will be spent cuddling up to them in bed and watching movie marathons with them on the couch. A Taurus will fight to maintain a good relationship, and will put in a lot of effort when it comes to someone they love. A Taurus will make you feel secure and cared for in a relationship, and will always fight to protect your heart and your feelings. However, they can be stubborn, so it is very important to nurture good communication early on, as to ensure the easily hurt bull doesn’t get offended or guarded when you bring up something that disappointed you or made you angry.

Gemini(May 22nd to June 21st)
Dating a Gemini is a thrilling experience. They are full of fun, and always up for learning and gaining the most out of every situation. They are natural born flirts, and the banter with them will keep you on your toes and laughing for the duration of your relationship. However, when they do choose you, know that they have chosen you for a reason. A Gemini does not get into a relationship until they have met their match intellectually and energetically. They have had plenty of practice, and they are known to get around, so when they do settle down, they are very self assured and absolutely compelled by their choice. In order to stay happy in a relationship, a Gemini needs change, stimulation and excitement. If you can give that to one, they will be yours for life.

Cancer(June 22nd to July 22nd)
A Cancer is unbelievably tender and gentle. They are kind souls that feel deeply and all too much. They are considered the most sensitive sign in the Zodiac, and they won’t hesitate to show that to their significant other. When committed, a Cancer will never second guess the person they are with, and they will pour oceans of love into them. They seek a mate who can understand them, so their relationships are often very emotional, intuitive partnerships that are devoted and life-long.

Leo(July 23rd to August 22nd)
In a relationship, a Leo tends to be very passionate. Their fiery nature will heat things up with affection and adventure. They choose their mates based in their ability to be dominant in a relationship, so they will often be the leader out of the two partners. In a relationship, a Leo needs to be the center of attention, as he believes that he deserves to shine the brightest in any situation. Generous and giving, a Leo will create a wonderful life for the apple of their eye, but must always be nurtured because they do tend to get insecure from time to time.

Virgo(August 23rd to September 22nd)
A Virgo needs to feel needed in a relationship. They are very methodical, and will take as long as they need to take in order to make sure that they are entering the right relationship. They bring this same methodical thinking to problem solving, and will always work to make things better in a relationship instead of simply giving up. A Virgo will always be a dedicated spouse, and though predictable, they like to live on the wild side every once in awhile.

Libra(September 23rd to October 22nd)
For a Libra, they want the perfect partner, so they may take a while before deciding to get into a relationship. Libras like to keep the peace, and they are happiest when their relationships are harmonized. It is very, very odd for a Libra to be alone. They are not very independent, and it is quite unnatural for them to be without their partner. They enjoy connecting with others, and this does not change when in a partnership. As a lover, a Libra is creative and expressive, while still being balanced. They love satisfying their partner, and they are some of the strongest and most charming catches in the Zodiac.

Scorpio(October 23rd to November 22nd)
Scorpios are incredibly passionate when in a relationship. They take intimacy and closeness seriously, because they do not trust many people. Scorpios think that intelligent and honest partners are wonderful, and they need to be with someone who can keep them interested and intrigued. Relationships will always take time with a Scorpio, but once devoted to someone, they are the most loyal sign in the Zodiac. Scorpios are so loyal, they often stay with people long after the spark is gone, which is one of their biggest downfalls.

Sagittarius(November 23rd to December 21st)
In a relationship, a Sagittarius is often very energetic and inquisitive. They are the adventurers of the Zodiac, and they have a very open minded approach to life and partnerships. They will want to wander, it is within them to do so, and they will always search for the meaning of life in their travels, so they are extremely important to them. It will be very difficult to get a Sagittarius to settle down, and they often favor open relationships. They adore change, and they crave it in order to feel good about themselves, so being tied down is something that will only cause them to feel burdened and trapped.

Capricorn(December 22nd to January 20th)
In a relationship, a Capricorn will take things very slowly. Sometimes, they will be painfully slow when entering a partnership, because it takes a long time for them to feel secure in their decisions. They will always take things one step at a time. Their words are sparse, but in a relationship a Capricorn loves through action, so pay attention to how they act around you. You can usually figure out what is going through their mind by assessing their body language and their effort. Capricorns are genuine, generous and sincere, and if they tell you that they love you know that those words hold a lot of meaning to them.

Aquarius(January 21st to February 18th)
In a relationship, an Aquarius needs intellectual stimulation. It is what turns them on and keeps them interested in their partner. They adore long chats, and love talking about the future for it gives them something to dream about. When in love, an Aquarius needs a very honest and open relationship, and cannot hold back their feelings. They need to be able to express themselves. In long term engagements, Aquarians will nurture a very dynamic, progressive lifestyle, and they will inspire those they love to dream big with them.

Pisces(February 19th to March 20th)
In a relationship, a Pisces is an extreme romantic. They are loving, tender and very generous with their heart. They adore intimacy. They are very deep beings, and therefore they do not waste their time with flings and superficial relationships. A Pisces needs depth, and they need to be appreciated for their sensitivity and their doting loyalty. They fall in love hard, and they will do absolutely anything for their partners. They are truly the most chivalrous sign of the Zodiac, and loving them is a beautiful experience.

Important Milestones You Can Have In Your Life Besides Getting Married by Kim Quindlen

Marriage is an incredibly beautiful and special experience. There is no argument being made here against it. But sometimes, it is so sensationalized that it simply becomes a concept against which people measure everything else in their lives. So here’s a gentle reminder that there are plenty of amazing things out there for you to experience other than, or in addition to, getting married.

1. Signing a lease for an apartment that’s completely yours – no parents, no siblings, no roommates, no boyfriend or girlfriend, just you. It doesn’t matter if it’s the smallest studio in existence, because it’s still yours.

2. Doing something that’s terrified you your entire life – it can be as drastic as skydiving or as seemingly low-key as signing up for an acting class. If it terrifies you, it’s a huge step to take.

3. Going through a painful breakup and refusing to let it drown you; instead, deciding to find growth and strength from it.

4. Asking for a raise when you know you deserve it, especially if you’re the one to bring it up.

5. Giving money – that you don’t have quite enough of yet – to people or causes that need it.

6. Discovering or rediscovering spirituality in your life, whether that’s through an organized religion, a book, or any other structure that helps you.

7. Taking your parents on a vacation.

8. …Or even just out to dinner, because this is finally your chance to be the one who can treat them to something, rather than the other way around.

9. Reconnecting with an old friend that you’ve always regretted losing touch with. Being the first one to reach out, to tell them you miss them, to make an attempt to see them again.

10. Giving a heartfelt, well-written, meaningful speech as the Best Man or Maid of Honor at the wedding of someone who is very special to you.

11. Accepting a job or promotion that pulls you out of your comfort zone and places you in a city or country where you barely know anyone.

12. Buying or leasing a car completely on your own – with no help from your parents or siblings or friends. Just a purchase or lease agreement that exists simply between you and the car dealership.

13. Reaching a point in your life where, even if you still care about your looks, you’re more concerned with your character, your choices, and the people you surround yourself with.

14. Embarking on a journey to lose weight or get in shape, because you feel that it’s what your body truly needs to be healthier.

15. The first time you solve a major problem in your life without seeking advice or approval from those around you.

16. Making a huge physical change that you want, but aren’t quite ready for yet – a major haircut, a piercing, a tattoo, a hair color change, a wardrobe that you’ve always always felt was more “you,” etc.

17. Deciding to go back and get your Masters if you feel that that’s the best thing for you to do at this moment in time.

18. Getting on your own health insurance plan.

19. Quitting a perfectly good job – not because it’s a challenge or it’s difficult, but because it makes you truly miserable and unhappy.

20. …And quitting said job without telling or “asking” your parents first, because you’ve already figured out how you can budget out your savings until you find something else.

21. The first holiday you spend with friends instead of family.

22. Getting to that age where you buy your own plane tickets home, instead of begging your parents to do so for you.

23. Changing a tire by yourself on the side of the road, with no help.

24. …Or, if that would be a disaster, signing up for your own AAA membership.

25. Getting to the point where you make appointments on your own for things like physicals and dermatology check ups – with no insistence from your mother.

26. Going on your first vacation with a significant other – paid for by you two and you two alone.

27. Developing your own honest, genuine political beliefs. Not because you want to sound smart at parties, but because as you get older, you’re starting to become less naive and more concerned about important issues that your country faces.

28. Owning a piece of furniture in your place that wasn’t a giveaway from your parents, wasn’t found on the street, and wasn’t purchased at IKEA.

29. Having certain luxuries that you like to spend your hard-earned money on once in a while, like super soft bedsheets, or a massage, or a really delicious bottle of wine.

30. …And getting to the maturity level where you can tell the difference between treating yourself, and being financially reckless and irresponsible.

31. When you have people over for dinner – and it’s a meal you cooked by yourself.

32. Finding out, and actually understanding, what the hell a deductible is.

33. Telling someone you love them without knowing for sure whether they love you back.

34. Feeling genuinely happy when your friend hits a huge milestone, and learning to not worry about the small bout of jealousy or panic you feel over it.

35. Getting on your own cell phone plan, and realizing that when you’ve overused your data, there are no more family arguments to be had. It’s just you and your credit card, paying the overage charges on your own.

36. Setting up a 401K, because you want to. Not because someone lectured you about the importance of it.

37. Traveling to a city you’ve always wanted to explore, and paying for everything on your own dime.

38. Reaching an age where you know how to admit when you’re wrong.

39. Finding that one book that changes your life, even if it’s in the smallest way possible.

40. Getting to a point in your life where you look at teenagers and college kids and think I’m so glad I’m not in that stage anymore, as opposed to I’d give anything to go back.

I remember how I thought you could move mountains. Years later, I’m not the only one. That little boy looks just like his momma, but I’ll be damned, he’s got your smile.
—  The Story of #22
Kaye Curto
13 Signs You're a Classic INFJ

1. You’re always in search of a deeper meaning. At work, in relationships, with friends, and interactions with strangers, you’re continually looking at life and situations in a way to discover what’s beyond the surface.

2. Although people have an easy time connecting with you, you can be a difficult person to really know. You value your privacy and often feel like you can only be your “true self” around those closest to you.

3. You’re a highly empathetic and sensitive person with an innate ability to understand what people are going through. Your care and concern for others is always genuine and you feel deeply for others.

4. You find it easy to connect with others and exhibit both introvert and extrovert qualities. You love meeting and interacting with other people and at times you are the life of the party, but eventually, you have to go home and recharge.

5. Beyond high school or college you still enjoy learning, particularly about society, cultures, languages, people, literature, and art. Learning something new excited you and find your interests expand as you get older.

6. You strive for the ideal in every aspect of your life. You have very strong opinions and are driven by your values. You will absolutely fight for what you believe in.

7. Sometimes you forget to take care of yourself. You become so passionate about certain projects or things going on with other people that you end up exhausted and weary.

8. You’re a deep and complex person, but at the same time you also tend to live a very simple life. It really doesn’t take very much to make you feel happy and content with your life. You see things on a larger scale and put more emphasis on your relationships with friends and loved ones over possessions or money.

9. You can be loyal to a fault. You recognize everyone has flaws and you try to see the beauty in people’s weaknesses instead of judging them. A problem can occur when others don’t give you the same courtesy, and you end up feeling bitter or resentful.

10. You have a strong sense of idealism but you’re not just another dreamer. You realize and understand that your goals can have a lasting impact, so you take the necessary steps to make your dreams happen.

11. For you, true success is based on the condition of your relationships with others and your own level of accomplishment.

12. Your insight is one of your greatest assets and it regularly helps you solve problems. You notice the small details most people seem to overlook. By being able to find patterns and meanings in the world around you you’re able to look at a problem in a number of ways and generate various possibilities.

13. You find joy and fulfillment in expressing yourself through the arts. You likely have a talent for language and writing. Self-expression helps you release everything that’s going on in your head.

Literally all of these are me.

Taken from

I don’t know your whole story, girl-who-is-afraid-she-isn’t-pretty-enough-to-get-a-guy, and of course stories are complicated, but I promise you that love is not waiting for you to get prettier. That’s just you, waiting. The rest, I think, has a lot to do with coincidence and luck. But in the meantime, it’s time to start feeling good about who you are. And in my opinion, it’s really important to learn to feel better about the way you look, not so that you can get a man, but so that you can learn to stop blaming your looks for the way your life is going. And then you can be happier all around. That is the real victory.
—  thought catalog
Stay Single Until You Meet A Guy Like This by Kirsten Corley

Stay single until you meet a guy who opens every door you walk through.

Stay single until you meet a guy who makes sure you walk on the inside of sidewalk away from the street.

The guy who holds your hand shamelessly and will kiss you in public.

Stay single until you meet a guy who wants to bring you home to his parents.

Stay single until you meet the guy whose friend’s already know about before you meet them.

Stay single until you meet the guy who will drop whatever to be wherever you need him.

The guy who says, “text me when you’re home safe,” and stays up until he knows you are.

Stay single until you meet the guy you’d proudly introduce to your father.

The one who doesn’t try and change you.

The guy who always texts back no questions asked.

Stay single until you meet a guy who doesn’t have time for games and is brutally honest always.

The one who pulls you close in public and kisses your forehead.

Stay single until you meet the guy pays out of respect for you and doesn’t let you touch your wallet.

Stay single until you meet the guy who keeps his word.

The one who knows when to apologize when he’s wrong.

The one who sends you flowers to your office, just because.

The guys who sends sweet texts in the middle of the meeting he knows you’re stressing over.

Stay single until you meet the guy who makes you want to be a better woman.

The one who motivates you to achieve more and be better.

Stay single until you meet a guy who is sure of you and never makes you doubt how he feels.

The one who is certain of you and his career and a future he wants you apart of.

The one who says I love you first just because he wants you to know.

Stay single until you meet the guy who never stops trying to keep you.

Because he knows getting you wasn’t the hard part but constantly giving you a reason to stay is what you deserve.

Stay single until you meet the guy who makes you feel more beautiful just standing beside him.

The one who still gives you butterflies when you walk in a room.

Stay single until you meet the guy who makes you not want to be.

The one who changes the standard you once had and suddenly no one can compare.

Stay single until you meet the guy you can’t live without.

Until then. Stay single