though-alex-is-not-in-there!!!-=(

5

You have a pattern of keeping things to yourself. You hid the truth about Emily, you made her seem like the bad guy. And then before that, you didn’t tell me what really happened when you came out to your parents, and how badly they reacted. You don’t like to talk about you. So, I think that when your parents didn’t accept you, you stopped trusting people that are closest to you. And I totally get that.

supergirl 2x17 (without mon-el)

Episode length comes out to 19:30 after cutting out every scene with his face in it, which is kinda infuriating -__-  

Disclaimer: main plot revolves around his parents so he’s still talked about

anonymous asked:

Yet another reason for a Supergirl/Brooklyn Nine Nine crossover fic...

DO YOU REALISE THE POTENTIAL FOR THIS THOUGH HOLY FUCKING SHIT

Kara and Jake get along SO WELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kara starts saying noice and ‘cool cool cool’ and shit and like holy crap im crying just thinking about it. Jake shows Kara all his comic books and Kara flies him around the city and when they land he vomits into a trashcan. They spend their whole afternoon making up team-up nicknames.

Alex gets along with all the girls, Rosa bc of the badass thing, Amy bc they’re both hardworking and respect each other’s work ethics, Gina bc she is genuinely so intrigued by her and like wants to study her. 

Boyle is in love bc he makes a feast and Kara like inhales his food and fucking loves it and he brings his son in to meet her and they take photos together and Kara talks to him about being adopted and like floats him around the precinct and they become best buds

Ray Holt and J’onn J’onzz staring at all of their Children working together, speaking in monosyllables, bonding over unusual weather patterns. Ray asks about the different types of tulips that can be found on Mars.

Maggie and Terry eating yoghurt together. MAGGIE AND TERRY WORKING OUT TOGETHER. I REPEAT, MAGGIE. AND. TERRY. WORKING. OUT. TOGETHER.

  • anti karamel, but sanvers stans: criticize kara and mon-el for accepting the bad things and prejudice they have done/had in their past and say they're unhealthy, says that mon-el always lies to kara
  • sanvers: maggie lies to alex twice, MANIPULATING information (making her ex seem like a bad person when you actually cheated on them). still, alex forgives maggie
  • anti karamel, but sanvers stans: THIS IS A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP!!! YAS!!
  • me: ?
Alex Going Rogue on Emily

“Look, Alex, I just wanna be alone, okay? It’s not… it’s not you, I just… I just need to be alone.”

Alex swallows rage and Alex swallows the desire to scoop Maggie into her arms and never let her go, ever. To kiss her every scar and to extract her every pain.

But she needs to listen better.

Because Maggie needs to be heard.

So Alex hears, and Alex drops her off, and Alex kisses her good night, and tells her to call if she changes her mind.

She knows she won’t.

She thinks about heading home herself for about .38 seconds. But she’s driving to the Baldwin before she even consciously decides to.

She leans on a pole and she checks her watch and she tries some of those breathing exercises from this morning to keep her somewhat calm, to keep her able to talk instead of punch, to keep her able to speak instead of scream.

Even though her blood boils when she sees her. Even though her body is running through all one hundred six ways she knows how to kill someone with her bare hands.

“Emily.”

God is she suddenly grateful for those damn yoga breathing exercises.

“Alex, right?”

“Yeah. I wanted to come… see you. I wanted to talk to you, just to see if…”

She takes a step closer and she’s almost grateful when Emily starts speaking, because she might have just punched her instead of finishing her sentence.

“Look, if this is about missing dinner – “

“Why didn’t you show up?” Her voice is low and her voice is death, and she can’t sink her fists into Maggie’s father, so Emily will have to do. For now.

“I should’ve, but… the whole situation, it just brought up too many painful memories.”

“What about Maggie? All the things you said to her back then, that wasn’t painful?” She wants to say more. She wants to say so much more. Do so much more.

She doesn’t, because she doesn’t want to make things worse for Maggie. But god, god, god, does she want to.

“Everything that I said to her, she had coming.”

“She dedicated five years of her life to you, and you bailed on her.” Her voice feels like it does before she splits her knuckles on prisoner’s faces, before she drops bombs that blow up buildings she’s still standing in.

“I bailed on her? Seriously, that’s – that’s what she told you? – she cheated on me.”

The bottom drops out of Alex’s stomach and the fight goes out of her gut.

And suddenly she’s picturing Maggie in bed with Emily, in bed with Darla, hell, in bed with her yoga instructor, naked and writhing, screaming someone else’s name.

Someone’s name that isn’t hers.

She gulps and she hates herself because she’s done it again.

Caused someone pain. Again.

Failed. Again.

“I’m sorry, I… I didn’t know.”

She can’t look at her, at this woman with hair that’s only just a little redder than hers, with a voice just a little deeper than hers, with a body just a little more perfect than hers.

This woman who Maggie apparently cheated on.

And Alex knows it’s true.

Knows because she knows Maggie.

Knows because she knows what Maggie is like when she’s scared.

Knows what Maggie is like when she hates herself more than she usually does.

“I shouldn’t have said anything.”

Alex isn’t looking at her, so she doesn’t see the way Emily’s eyes run up and down her body, just once, quickly. Just once, imagining Maggie underneath her, on top of her, whatever she’s feeling these days, and she can see why Maggie chose this woman. This woman who just wanted to defend her.

This woman she’s apparently lying to.

And she knows Alex knows it, because when she looks up, her eyes are wide and terrified and regretful.

“I just… really wanna forget about it.”

Because that shell-shocked look on Alex’s face?

She wore that look for almost two whole years.

She only just recently stopped wearing it all the time.

Alex looks off to the side because she can’t look into the eyes of the woman Maggie slept with, spent five years probably doting on, and then cheated on.

“Sorry, I… I’mma go.”

She doesn’t give Emily a chance to say anything else.

She can’t hear anything else.

She just walks.

She walks and she walks, and she takes out her phone and she calls her sister.

That couch scene though.

Maggie looked like she for sure thought it was over.

Like Alex was listing everything she’d done wrong -like her past girlfriends probably had- and was going to follow it up with “And I can’t be with someone like that.”

Her chin trembled. She was biting her lip, tearing up. I bet she was just waiting for the words.

And then Alex told her she didn’t have to be so guarded, and that she wasn’t there to judge her but to help her heal, and hugged her so hard it overpowered all of Maggie’s demons.

Damn that couch scene.

How ivar would react to you being on your period (this is a modern au answer I hope you don’t mind) •"your on your what??“

•being the confident boyfriend that is almost proud he gets tampons for his girlfriend, even though it’s challenging to go shopping by himself with his condition

•when a guy walks up to him and pokes fun at the fact he has to buy pads he shakes his head and grits his teeth, because you told him he needs to check his temper

•"at least I have a girlfriend to buy tampons or pads for, lonely bastard”

•also buying you chocolates and tea and other snacks.

•telling him he doesn’t need to get everything for you and that you can get it

•"you will stay on this couch and I will get what you need, there’s no need to put yourself into more pain"

•watching netflix together

•him holding your heating pad on your belly

Originally posted by dailyalexhogh

anonymous asked:

Floriana in that freaking scene!! Her mouth movements. god. I love this woman's talent!! She really thinks Alex is about to break up with her. She can't even look at Alex!! Especially when Alex says "I think" her eyes look ahead more, just a quick movement, bracing herself and you can see her actually biting her tongue to keep the tears down!!! Floriana let me live!!

It’s just plain rude the emotions Floriana and Chyler make me feel. Maggie was bracing for the breakup. She had thought about this happening for awhile and it was far worse than she could have ever imagined. The facial expressions tell that exactly, anon. The journey of trembling chin, to pressing lips, and trying her hardest not to cry even though her body feels as though it might cave in on her because Alex was finally someone who understood her. But the change of pace when alex caresses her face. And tells her she doesn’t believe she is a bad person. BOY I AM DEAD. I need to do an analysis on this shit. Thanks for killing me anon!

The magic of sanvers for real though

The relationship that Alex and Maggie have is the most beautiful relationship because when Alex could have been upset with Maggie for lying to her twice but instead she was only worried about not being able to help her through problem. And Maggie she supported Alex through coming out to her family before they were even dating. They have looked out for eachother from almost the moment that they met. In the time that they have spent together so far they have showed us a realistic, messy, supportive, healthy, and perfect relationship.

Supergirl 2x17

domestic!Karamel, I love it so much. He made her breakfast!

even though Kara didn’t like being cooped up, it was fun to see her, Winn, James and Mon El hang out together (and play Settlers of Catan which I also love)

it’d be very scary to have someone control your body like that

fuck you telepathic alien, our Martian will take your ass down

seeing ones ex is always awkward. Even though Maggie did cheat on her old girlfriend, she’s learned since then and fortunately, Alex isn’t mad and she isn’t judging her for the past. Sanvers was very cute too; I love how they can be vulnerable around each other and help each other heal

Mon El sacrificing himself to save Kara, and even being willing to go back and try to change Daxam for the better. That’s my boy!

at least his father changed his mind, and let his son be happy. Too bad his mother couldn’t do the same

Kara and Mon El both had some shitty family

and Kara saving him, and being badass while doing it

I love how all the good guys are like family to Mon El now, I really honestly do because it’s this precious found family and they look out for each other.

Mon El saying again how much he admires Kara for always doing the right thing. He’s correct in saying that it’s not always easy to do what is right. Therein lies the struggle we all face, and one he hasn’t completely overcome, but he’s come leaps and bounds

I hope J’onn doesn’t get in too much trouble for rescuing Mon El. also, what kind of alien is posing as the President??

anonymous asked:

hey! im thinking of beginning to write fics but i used to write in the marvel fandom and i didn't get a ton of feedback and i don't have many followers so im worried that my fics will just be out in space and no one will read them/like them as much. what should I do?

OHH. OK some things I have learned because I am still trying to promote my stuff and get it read:

–If you can break up a fic into chapters, do it. More chapters means you are more frequently in the tags and updated more often. One shots don’t get nearly as much traffic.

–Promo yourself on your tumblr. A lot.

–Tag all the relationships you can. For instance, even though my stuff is LafLams, I tag Alex/John, Alex/Laf and John/Laf bc someone who is like into Lams that may not watch the LafLams tag, but follow the Lams tag, could read your stuff. <–This tip made my hits go up SO MUCH

–If you are doing something multi-chaptered, write the whole damn thing before posting any of it. This will save your sanity.

–Make friends with people in your ship. Talk to them. Read their stuff, ask them to read yours. Promo and support each other

–DONT GIVE UP. It took MMPOE a long time to gain traction, and if I had stopped writing because of early response to that…. Remember, you write for yourself first. Write what you want to read. The rest will follow

–If it’s LafLams or Laurette, send that shit my way I will promo the hell out of it. 

GOOD LUCK

anonymous asked:

Can we please have an alternate version of the second the last Sanvers scene (the one in Alex's apartment) where Alex doesn't get called away to deal with you-know-who being taken and her and Maggie finish the conversation and have emotional smutty times afterwards?

They ask so politely as though I wasn’t going to write it anyway. https://queergirlwriting.tumblr.com/post/158916044174/the-alex-comforting-maggie-scene-we-all-deserved

And the emotional smut is here – https://queergirlwriting.tumblr.com/post/158917861294/the-ride-home-with-the-passionate-sanvers-kiss

Ok. I liked the episode and not just because the musical crossover and the last episode were such relationship-centered dumpster fires! 

WHAT I DIDN’T LIKE:

I still don’t like Mon-El because we really don’t know why Kara forgave him. I mean the reasoning was: He lied, but you didn’t give him a proper atmosphere to tell the truth about himself even though he lied about his identity before you two were even a couple! So, yeah, it was typical blame the victim for not wanting to accept the hedonistic prince who cared nothing about his kingdom’s apparent love of alien trafficking, slavery and class oppression. But, hey, you should forgive him, right??? They never had a conversation. Just Kara believing she was in the wrong for not accepting such a planet. And then forgiving him as she was dying… I mean, true love made her forgive him? It’s just dumb. I want a real-ass adult conversation like the one Sanvers had this episode. 


I still don’t get why Kara’s hatred against Daxam is not justified. The relationship between Krypton and Daxam is so weakly defined in the show, I’m more inclined to believe our protagonist (well… if we can still call her that since it’s become the Mon-El Show) over the queen who imprisoned her son and killed her husband about whose planet was inherently terrible. The writers are doing a terrible job making Kara a racist by… calling out (again) a planet that prided themselves on debauchery. It’s like calling out Trump supporters for supporting discrimination and fascism and then being called anti-free speech.


Mon-El “isn’t like M’gann” because he isn’t a hero. You’re right, Kara. This isn’t like M’gann. He’s trying to save your life. M’gann is trying to change her terrible planet. One is not like the other. M’gann is a hero. Mon-El is not. He’s being selfless, yes, but only for you. He only does things for you. And the funny thing is, I thought he was finally going to go home and change his planet like M’gann. But, nope. He doesn’t care about his people. He cares about Kara. And when Kara said that he’s changed. No, he hasn’t. He only cares about one thing. And that’s Kara. And that’s the only thing that ever pushes him to be a good person. And I really think if the writers want us to see Mon-El as a hero. As someone whose really truly lost his evil past as the prince who cared nothing for those who suffered at the expense of his lavish life, then he needs to do one better and actually do good things to do good things. (The only example I can think of is when he saved the little girl from the falling car. Like, good job, Mon-El. But, we need more of that to really cement your hero status.)


James. The (Not So) Guardian. Number one. Supergirl is out of commission for 24 hours, so you decide to go to Game Night instead of working overtime as Guardian? I just… writers what the hell. Do you think the audience won’t care? They already HATE the poor guy because of his poorly-developed hero arc!!! And you portray him as a guy who doesn’t care about his job when he’s probably NEEDED the most!? Number two. He literally tries to help Kara, and then gets knocked unconscious… and that’s the last we see of him. What the FUCK writers. Why are you doing this to James? Did they leave his ass on the roof? I just… they are treating Mehcad Brooks so bad it disgusts me. Number three. Kara got fucking fired from CatCO like three episodes ago and they STILL HAVEN’T TALKED ABOUT IT. He’s fucking President of the company now. WHAT. THE… someone needs to shoot me with an anti-red kryptonite laser because I am heated. 

When Rhea tried guilt-tripping Mon-El into returning home by telling him she loved him, it literally reminded me of what Mon-El did to Kara when she broke up with him. So, I don’t know why we’re supposed to view one as good and the other as bad…


WHAT I DID LIKE:

Mon-El wasn’t as insufferable. This definitely has to do with the fact that Mon-El really hit his peak of being a screentime-sucking, soul-sucking POS after guilt-tripping Kara into staying with him after lying about who he was. About not owning up to his disgusting, slave-owning past whereas M’gann’s redemption arc left her on a suicide mission back to her planet. About caring only about his relationship (and his take on it) and not about anyone else. Here, I think we’re FINALLY starting to see a hero come out. Like, I said, again, it was Kara that pushed him to do something good (whcih, I mean, has a lot of other gross sexist undertones about how women fix men but I’m trying to be positive here), but it WAS at the expense of the relationship he lives off of so… good job-ish? I really think if we get more of this kind of Mon-El. Somewhat more selfless. Less of an asshole. Less of a fratboy. And I think he’s really on a road to redemption. But, god, please, cut his screentime (which is impossible since the big bad of the season [which has been inconsistent AF this whole season] is apparently his mom now).

Sanvers is, again, how a healthy relationship should be. No drama. Just talk it out. TALK IT OUT. Don’t guilt-trip each other. Support each other if you can stomach what they’ve done. The conversation about Maggie cheating on her ex and Alex not trying to guilt her, but just trying to UNDERSTAND (a conversation we DIDN’T get when Mon-El was caught in his huge fucking lie, and was only forgiven when Kara was dying, so, again, Sanvers is healthy, Karamel is not), it was a breath of fresh air after the hot ass Karamel mess of the last two episodes (counting Flash). 

Can totally relate to not wanting to talk about yourself after being betrayed by the people who should have cared the most about you after you’ve told personal things to them. I cried. Love their scenes. They’re so kind and healthy.

Martian Manhunter was used relatively a lot this episode. It pains me that J’onn only remembers he’s a mind reader when the writers want him to. It pains me when J’onn who is just as powerful as Kara is rendered to nothing more than a DEO agent even when Kara is getting messed up and could really use someone her cousin called “the strongest being on Earth.” So, when Martian Manhunter gets to destroy another telepath’s mind (David’s acting there was epic) and then be a badass Fake!Kara (I LOVE WHEN HE DOES THAT [and can we talk about how Melissa pulls off J’onn’s mannerisms so well???]), it’s nice to see.

Winn coming into his own as a field agent was a nice touch. And I like his friendship with Mon-El. Another time when Mon-El isn’t as insufferable.

Romeo & Juliet allusion. I love allusions to literary works on TV because they really are paying homage to their predecessors. And I’m so here for that. Parallels between Karamel and Romeo & Juliet really isn’t… a compliment so lol. But I do love the subversion of Rhea killing her husband. And crazy moms. So Shakesperian.

The Devil Within

Fandom: Phandom, Mark of Oxin

Genre: Angst (?)

Warnings: Alex being not so mentally stable, enduring immense pain, almost hurting his friends (bringing about the apocalypse I guess?), harming nature, including animals

Word count: 4020

Summary: Alex was turned into the devil but will he give into his satanic desires or will he remain a true hero?


The Devil Within


“NOOOO!”

Everything faded to black.

Alex was losing his form

He was transforming

Into Satan

“What is happening? I am losing control. I feel stronggeerrrr!”

Satan laughed sadistically

“Forget everything! Become me!” But Alex couldn’t hear him over the immense pain he felt.

“It hurts! Make it stop!”

His entire body was changing. His bones were brutally stretched out, giving him a broader form. Horns mercilessly sprouted out of the sides of his head, leaving trails of red blood dripping down his face from all around them. Though the blood was quickly changing colour, becoming indigo streaks of liquid, mixing with the tears on his cheeks.

He could feel his cheekbones breaking, as they were getting larger, stretching his skin out to the point where it was tearing apart, showing some of his forcefully bigger getting muscles.

His rapidly growing hair and beard caught most of his blood leaving them a sticky, crimson, violet, indigo mess.

Alex was momentarily blinded, as his eyes burned, as though the backs of them and the nerves leading to them had been set on fire. Tears escaped his eyes and he shut them, the insides of his lids feeling like sand paper against his pupils. When he opened them again they were glowing white, creating a stark contrast to the deep blue orbs he once used to possess.

“No. Let us enter the new world, my son” Were the first words Alex could finally make out. There was still a shrill ringing in his ears, though whether it was from the transformation and the changing of his ear shells into longer and pointier ones or his relentless screaming in harrowing agony he didn’t know.

“N-no!” He responded weakly, his voice sounding completely foreign and wrong to him.

“What? You still dare to oppose me?” The devil demanded, now more furious than ever.

“No matter” He said, trying to calm himself “You will come around eventually. No one can withstand this form.”

“I will never!” Alex shouted, still very sure of himself.

“Do not worry, my son. You will yet come to accept your true form!” Satan was almost smiling now.

“Now, how about I let you rest in your chambers for a while?”

“M-my? My chambers?” Alex mistrusted this newfound kindness of the devil, finding it most concerning.

“Why yes, of course! You are my son, the prince of the underworld after all! It is only fitting to have your residence here!”

Alex didn’t want to ‘rest in his chambers’ all he wanted to do right now was run as fast as he could. But where would he go? He realized that he couldn’t leave this place. He simply couldn’t let his friends or his father – adoptive father, as he just found out – see him like this.

His friends… Emily… Jack… what would they think if he never returned? He knew his father thought he was dead and, in all honesty, he might as well be, in his own opinion. But what would his friends think? Were they going to assume he died again? It was hell after all. Would it really be that big of a surprise if he failed again? How long would they wait for him in front of that gate until they decided he wasn’t ever going to come back?

He would have loved to talk to them one last time. He would have loved to tell them not to worry, that he was fine. But then again, was he really?

He had literally just transformed into the spitting image of Satan himself, after finding out that he was in fact adopted and was truthfully the devil’s and some angel’s child, after having been resurrected from death… He could go on. The list had become nearly endless. It just now dawned on Alex that, no, he wasn’t fine. Oh god, he was so far from fine, he actually felt like crying.

Of course he wasn’t going to! Not in front of the man, that was to blame for all of his sorrow. No, he wasn’t going to give him that satisfaction. He wasn’t going to break down a second time and be vulnerable again.

Taking this and the fact that he couldn’t face the outside world ever again into consideration, he really had no other choice but to accept the offer of his own room, whether he wanted or not.

“Alright” Alex answered finally. Sighing as he did so. “Where’s my room?”

The devil seemed satisfied with that answer and something about that felt really wrong to Alex.

“Follow me.” Satan more so ordered than anything else. And so Alex did what he was told and took a step towards his biological father, wincing at the cracks every last one of his joints seemed to make.

He had already seen quite bit of hell, though it had been the outer rings of it. Where he was headed now was the very centre of hell.

On his way there he saw multiple skeletons, like the one he had met earlier, before he had entered hell, bowing to him, recognizing him as their superior.

There was also quite a lot of souls ‘stored’ there, as god had put it. Though unlike in heaven, where they were free to roam, here they were either in cages or chained to walls. Some of them looked absolutely mortified upon seeing him, others didn’t seem to care. Not just about his presence but about generally everything. They had been tortured to the extent that they were long since broken, being simply in a state of existence rather than living. Though, Alex supposed, they weren’t alive in the first place, seeing as the were in hell. He had to giggle at that, the happiness he felt at that thought tickling in his chest.

No! This was wrong, so very wrong! He had been wondering which state of these souls unsettled him more but this definitely won every prize of scary. His own state of being, his own thoughts and emotions were what he found the most terrifying in all of hell. This wasn’t right; he was supposed to be a hero! Yet here he was, giggling, of all things, at the anguish of these souls.

Though one could argue that they deserved it. They were in hell for a reason after all, right?

No! No, no, no, no! No one deserved eternal torture, no matter their past!

He kept repeating this sentence as his mantra in his mind, growing louder whenever he looked into the eyes of one of the lost souls.

“Here it is.” The devil finally said, gesturing to a castle.

“Uhm” Alex looked around a bit. “Where exactly?”

“Here” The king of hell insisted, pointing to the castle once more, this time a little more vigorously.

“Th-this whole thing?” Alex asked unbelievingly, to which Satan simply nodded.

Alex guessed it made sense, he was this place’s prince after all. Everything wasn’t so bad, now that he thought about this. He could get used to this…

He swung open the grand doors to his castle with ease, thanks to his new muscles, and stepped in. He was met with a big hallway, containing carpets with a colour barely distinguishable from lava, doors richly adorned with gems and gold and a small, artificial ‘waterfall’ of lava by the end of it.

Pleased by what he saw, he walked in further, letting the doors fall closed behind himself, leaving the ruler of hell outside.

Yes, he could really get used to this…

Wait, what? Alex didn’t belong here!? He certainly didn’t like hell and let’s not even think about torture!

“No one deserves eternal torture, no matter their past!” He reminded himself.

“No one! And I mean no one! Deserves eternal torture! No matter their past!” He repeated.

“Not even that Ryan…” Alex spoke that name disgustedly, still not having forgiven him for his actions.

“Though I guess, he had a reason…” He concluded looking down on his, now bigger and indigo, hands, finding that there was still some dried up blood under his fingernails.

He supposed Ryan was not that bad of a person, even if he had been wrong to kill him. Alex was after all a hero. He might have been the son of Satan but he was also the son of an angel. He could choose his path and he chose justice. Alex wasn’t a bad person. Ryan had simply been wrong.

How dare he assume that anyway? He had been a hero for god knows how long, relentlessly improving his skills, not for himself or to brag but to help the people. He genuinely cared about everybody. So how could that little twit just decide he was better than him? Oh, Ryan had done it now and Alex was going to show him! He was going to give that pathetic, obnoxious, unworthy slime of the earth what he deserved!

No one deserved eternal torture, no matter their past!

Ah, that’s right! No one! No one. No one… no one…

Alex slid down a wall to sit against it, coward together, legs in front of his chest, arms resting on his knees, forehead laying on his arms uncomfortably due to his new horns. He felt like he was going insane inside his own mind!

He felt an undefinable itching underneath his skin. Scratching it only made it worse but he kept doing it, clawing at his forearms with his long, sharp nails, not stopping even after he drew blood.

He needed to do something, anything to distract himself! He needed to get out of here!

Aimlessly wandering out of the castle, Alex looked around but found nothing that could help him. All he saw was living corpses. He heard their groaning. Oh, their groaning in unimaginable and everlasting pain. It could only ever be cut through with a piercing scream that came from somewhere in the distance occasionally.

He had to get out of here, not just the castle but hell as a whole!

He couldn’t take his friends feelings into consideration anymore. He needed to leave this place as soon as possible, whether they were going to see him or not.

He rushed back the way he had come, now hating the seemingly endless mazes he used to love. With every pained groan he heard he got faster until he broke into a sprint. Finally he saw the gate out of hell in the distance and it was the lone uplift in his mood he had felt for the past hours, at least he thought it had been hours, it could have been less, and decided he would gladly accept the metaphorical light this shone on him.

He didn’t stop running when he crossed the border and he didn’t stop running when the skeleton, seemingly the entry guard, asked why he was in such a hurry. When he did stop was when he realized neither Emily nor Jake were anywhere to be found. Had they really left already? He looked around. He didn’t find a note saying they were out for food, in a shop or an inn of any kind. In fact, he didn’t find any notes at all.

He cautiously approached the guard.

“Hey, you wouldn’t know where the boy and the girl I came here with went, would you?” He asked warily.

“No, brother” The other responded. “They merely said they weren’t expecting you to come back and left.”

“Do you know when that was?” Alex wanted to know. Maybe he could still catch up to them if he hurried…

“About a month ago, my brother.”

A month?!” The boy didn’t understand. How could that be? He hadn’t even been in that that literal hell hole for a day, let alone a month!

“What do you mean ‘a month’, surely that can’t be right?” Alex tried to reason with the skeleton.

“A month in Earth time, far less in hell.” Seeing that the younger one still didn’t quite understand, he explained further.

“Time is a construct humans made up to measure their short, meaningless lives. It doesn’t exist anywhere but here. You only spend an instant in hell but here its equivalent to a lifetime.”

Alex didn’t know what to make of that information. He would have been devastated to have missed another month of his friends’ lives but seeing as he could never see them again, it didn’t really matter, did it?

At least this way he didn’t have to face them, right?

Yeah, it was for the best anyway, he decided.

Completely forgetting to say his thanks to the skeleton, Alex was on his way. Where to, he didn’t know. But he had to go somewhere, right? Wandering around the forest for what felt like hours, he finally found a cave that he decided he would settle in.

He felt like a dirty animal, trapped in that dark, mouldy cavern. But he forced himself not to leave. He was a scary looking monster; he didn’t want to frighten anyone. Or so he said. Though the truth is, he was ashamed of himself.

But oh, how he wanted to leave. How he wanted to see the light again, to breathe fresh air again. How he longed for adventure and battling monsters, animals or anyone really.

But that was exactly why he couldn’t leave. He had thought about it a lot in those past weeks, he had been residing in this cave, his friends and father, his real father, loved him for who he was not for what he looked like. Naturally it would be a shock to see him like this but they would accept him regardless. But over the course of time he had discovered, that he had changed, that it wasn’t in fact ‘who he was’ anymore but rather ‘who he had been’. More and more often he found himself wanting to hunt, hurt and destroy. More and more often he found himself furious over the most trivial things.

He hugged his legs to his chest, sitting in a foetal position.

Ryan had been right.

He had been right about everything.

He had been right to kill him.

He cried at what he had become, pounding his fists to the ground. He had done this to him. He was the one to blame. He… was truly the devil…

Alex’ mood turned from depressed to boiling in mere seconds with the pent up frustration he had. He couldn’t stop himself any longer and marched outside his cave. He felt an animalistic rage take over him but he did nothing to stop it. He was blind with anger and ripped out the nearest tree with his bare hands, turning it into splinters with his claws. He let out a loud howl, right in the face of a deer that was trying to escape his fury. He grabbed it and threw it against a nearby tree. He felt powerful. He felt mighty. But most of all, he felt worriless.

But as though just to take away his moment of inner peace, or as close as he could come to it anyway, two figures appeared from the general direction of the closest village. They both had purple hair and… and he recognized them as Emily and Jake! This awoke Alex from his trance like state and he realized what he was doing. But it was too late.

“Take no step further!” The boy, Jake, said and the battle began.

Alex didn’t want to fight them. But his former companions didn’t seem to see a problem with fighting him. They didn’t recognize him. He couldn’t blame them, really, though it still hurt.

He knew the siblings tactics, seeing as he used to fight alongside them. That gave him somewhat of an advantage. Emily tried to cast sleep on Alex but he dodged. Jake shot him with a water beam, not being able to get out of the way quickly enough, Alex was hit. He groaned.

“Stop, please!” You couldn’t kill them. He simply couldn’t, so, he had to find another way to make them stop.

Emily faltered as she was about to cast sparkles. She may not have recognized Alex due to his appearance and voice but she certainly found it odd that a monster was begging for mercy. Something like that had never happened before. All the monsters she had fought up until that point had been mindless creatures with only the intent to annihilate.

“Jake, wait!” she cried as her brother was about to attack the apparent monster with flame field.

“Not now, Emily!” the boy yelled back.

“Yes, now!” The sister responded in an almost childish manner, as she would in a sibling rivalry.

“What has it actually done to us?” She demanded “We only came because we heard a growl. That doesn’t mean it has done anything bad!”

“Are you kidding me?” Jake seemed aggravated as he cast the spell despite the girls wishes.

“Haven’t you seen what it did to the animal and the tree? It won’t stop until we make it!”

“And how do you know that?!” That took Jake off guard. How did he know? How did she not know? That was the universal truth every hero knew. Monsters were bad and heroes had to fight them.

“We log trees! We eat animals! Why are we so much better?” Emily insisted.

“Why are we better?” Jake turned to face his sister. “Because we are intelligent creatures with more than just the unkillable urge to destroy!”

“But that monster is more than that! It begged us to stop! And look, you turned your back to it and it didn’t even try to attack you! Shouldn’t we give it the benefit of the doubt?” Hearing this, Jake turned around quickly, remembering the imminent danger and keeping his guard up as he spoke.

“You’re too naïve, Emily! That’s why you have me to protect you. You’d probably invite things like that for tea!”

“Hey!” Alex frowned. “I appreciate that you don’t want to assume my gender but do you have to call me ‘thing’?”

“Huh?” Something about the way the monster said that seemed to spark something in the siblings’’ memory.

“Alex?” Emily asked carefully. Said boy seemed taken aback, his eyes widening in size.

“What? But how? How do you?” He didn’t get to think of a proper sentence before the girl flung herself at him, tears in her eyes.

“We thought you were dead! Again! Why do you keep doing that to me?”

Alex stiffened visibly at her touch.

“What happened?”

After regaining control of his surprise again, he gently pried her off himself.

“Wh-at’s the matter, Alex?” Emily wondered, her voice breaking slightly.

“You shouldn’t touch me.” He answered. “Your brother was right. I’m dangerous.”

The girl wanted to disagree but was interrupted by her brother pulling her away from Alex.

“What happened to you?” Jake demanded with a tone of voice the other boy couldn’t quite interpret.

“I…” Alex started. “I went to hell and met the devil. He said that he’s my farther and that he wants me to rule over the underground by his side.”

“And you agreed.” Jake looked at him reproachfully.

“What? No!” It looked as though it pained Alex that Jake would even entertain that thought.

“No! I didn’t agree! I told him no! But…”

“But what?” Emily looked worried now.

“But he didn’t take that for an answer and made me this…”

“Oh, Alex…” There was nothing but pity in her eyes and he detested it.

“I need to go now. Thanks for the bants though!” He said bitterly.

“Wait!” Emily called after him.

“Let us help you.” Her brother finished for her. Alex’ eyes lit up with hope. Would they really do that for him? For a boy who had changed so much, he couldn’t really be considered their friend anymore. He turned around and took careful steps towards the pair. He felt warm inside, looking at them. Maybe they could indeed help him.

All that could be heard throughout the cabin was the loud crash of a stack of plates shattering.

“A-Alex” Emily stuttered fearfully. It was that, what brought him back into reality.

He was standing close to the girl and had been drying up dishes that she had cleaned, when it had apparently bothered him so much that a lint from the cloth he had been using to dry the dishes with, was sticking to a plate, that he threw all the earlier cleaned plates to the ground. He was fletching his sharp teeth to the girl, probably only moments from letting out his anger on her, too.

“I-I’m…sorry…” He apologized seemingly still surprised.

“I-It’s alright.” The girl smiled shakily.

“No. No, it’s really not…” The boy turned to lock himself in his room again as he had done many times before in these two past months.

“I forgive you. You’re just lucky Jake is out right now. You’d be in a lot of trouble if he saw.” Emily tried to joke, but Alex didn’t seem in the mood.

“It would have been better if he was. You’re lucky you’re still alive.”

“You wouldn’t do that.” The girl assured him.

“Wouldn’t I?”

“Of course not! Look at how sorry you are, and you didn’t even touch me! You really don’t need to feel guilty!”

“But that’s just the thing.” Alex said numbly, staring straight ahead, not into the eyes of the girl he was talking to.

“I don’t.” He revealed finally. “I don’t feel bad for any of the things I do; that’s what I feel guilty for.”

“Wh- Alex…” Emily seemed distraught for a second, before composing herself to her optimistic self again, forcing a smile.

“W-well, that’s a start, right? You still know right and wrong; that’s good!”

“You don’t understand, Emily!” She flinched a bit, hearing her name being pronounced like a foreign word. “I technically know right from wrong but I care less and less about it! I’m still driven by my old principals but there are no feelings behind them anymore! I don’t believe in them anymore!” He looked down, revealing to her his most flawed side. “I’m not a hero anymore…” He was quiet. Almost broken. No. Not almost. This boy, who used to be a great, selfless, fearless hero, was broken. Everything he had once believed in was lost and he was barely holding himself from stepping over the line that was getting continuously more and more blurred.

It was then he finally realized.

“You can’t help me…”

Alex had returned to the cave he had been staying in before he was reunited with his friends.

He was miserable but better than he had been with the siblings. They had been nothing but kind to him and he couldn’t take it. It had been driving him mad how they were so nice that he had absolutely nothing to hold against them. Nothing to justify his actions with. He couldn’t control himself. And they were making him feel bad for it. He couldn’t stand that. It was his nature.

After all, he was the devil’s son.

That’s right… Nature… That’s why he felt this urge, this need to go back. To go back to where he had so desperately fled from. Because he hadn’t been ready yet. He had still been holding on to his principals and morals. But it had been clear from the very beginning. Ever since his transformation had been complete his path was set. This had always been what it would boil down to.

He was his father’s son.

It was really not his fault. In fact, it was expected from him. Why else would Ryan have hunted him down, even though he didn’t even know him? He was supposed to do this.

He was the prince of hell.

He was an unholy crossbreed between angel and devil and he was just doing what was right.

He was going to claim his throne.

“I am ready father.”

With Alex taking his new satanic form and the world in peril, everything faded into black…



______________________________________________________________


Ok, so, I realize everybody’s a bit OOC and the fic’s a bit rushed but damn it! I dare you to do better! No, honestly, write more fanfictions for this phandom fandom. I need more fanfiction of this!

Control

Fandom: Supergirl (TV 2015)

Relationship: Alex Danvers/Maggie Sawyer

Characters: Alex DanversMaggie SawyerKara Danvers

Additional Tags: Myriad Program (Supergirl)Graphic DescriptionBlood and ViolenceThe kryptonite sword makes a new appearancealso one of these characters gets stabbedYou’ve been warned,

Also on AO3

Maggie broke down the door to the warehouse just in time to see Kara go crashing through one of the concrete support beams. Though the superhero showed no visible scratches, it was obvious the Kryptonite suited assailant’s blows were taking their toll on the woman. The detective swallowed hard. She’d seen the sisters in the sparring room, seen them exchange blows and watched Alex flip Kara onto her back more times than she could count on both hands. But never had she seen the obvious, predatory intent in Alex’s body language. The intent to cause serious damage, to harm, to kill. In protection of Kara, all bets were off, but never when facing Kara herself. Never when looking into those bright blue eyes. Never when walking towards her sister. 

But this wasn’t Alex stalking closer to Kara. No, this was Myriad, something Alex had only been able to explain oh so briefly, before it became obvious that the topic was too painful to continue. This wasn’t her girlfriend, despite the body it inhabited. That didn’t mean Alex wasn’t in there though, locked down and forced to watch her body try to destroy her sister. And Maggie would be damned to a hell she never quite believed in before she let that happen.

“Alex, please. You don’t want to do this.”

Kara’s desperate words pulled Maggie forward, footsteps silent on the concrete floor of the warehouse. Watching Myriad draw the bright green sword from the back of the suit, she realized she didn’t have any time to get closer before making her presence known. 

“Danvers. I know you’re in there somewhere.”

She watched as the grip on the sword loosened momentarily, letting it fall, only for the hand to twist and grab on in a way that would allow it to be stabbed down with both hands. Myriad had yet to look away from the weakening struggles of the superhero.

“Alex. Mi cielo, you’ve got to fight it.”

A few more steps forward finally put Maggie in reaching distance and she placed a hand on Alex’s shoulder. Though it was Myriad’s actions, the body itself belonged to Alex and Alex alone. As she tugged her around, the detective was quick to dodge the fist coming for her jaw, expecting the blow. Moving back from the sword was a little harder and she hissed as it slit her shirt and drew a thin line across her torso.

“That the best you’ve got?”

The taunt did as she hoped it would, drawing Myriad’s attention away from Kara and at the movement she moved her head towards the broken window Kara had obviously flew in from, or been thrown in from as was more likely. When she saw the blonde shake her head, her eyes narrowed.

“Get out and get help, Supergirl.”

The words had Myriad whipping around, allowing Maggie enough time to run forward and tackle her to the ground. Her only regret was the bruising her girlfriend would be feeling when she finally broke free.

“Now, Supergirl!”

Watching Kara finally take off to get help, Maggie was thrown off with a sharp elbow to the stomach, throwing her over onto her back on the concrete. Myriad rolled on top of her, hands immediately wrapping around her throat. Prying at the tightening fingers, Maggie searched Alex’s eyes, looking for any sign of her girlfriend. Seeing nothing but empty rage and with the very edges of her vision starting to darken, she forced a foot up and into Alex’s stomach, shoving hard to throw the body off of her own. Scrambling to her feet, Maggie backed up and away from the agent’s body, which was already pushing up onto it’s feet.

“Guess that yoga was good for something, huh babe?”

She was desperate for anything to possibly trigger her girlfriend’s senses, pull her to the surface faster. Her shirt was sticking to her skin where the blood dripped from the small cut.

“I know you’re in there, Alex. I know you’re fighting.”

“Not nearly hard enough, Sawyer.”

“Don’t call me that, Myriad.”

There was a snap in her voice that had Myriad lifting the corner of Alex’s mouth into a small smirk.

“Struck a nerve.”

Then Alex’s eyes went completely hollow again and a snarl of anger left her lips as she charged forward, forcing Maggie to scramble back and to the side to avoid another swing of the sword. Soon she was stepping closer again though, as Myriad turned to face her.

“Sé que puedes luchar con esto, Alex. Vuelve a mí.” 

She watched the slightest spark of recognition flash on Alex’s face and took a step closer. 

“Come back to me, Al.”

Warmth grew in Alex’s eyes and it sent Maggie the rest of the way forward, stopping a little less than arm’s length away, searching. Seeing the slowest trickle of warmth trickle into Alex’s eyes.

“Danvers-”

Her words were cut off as Maggie was pulled into a lingering kiss. She leaned into the contact, but frowned. The kiss felt off. She knew that her girlfriend wouldn’t react this way if she was back. As much as it pained her, she knew Alex would be too broken down by what she’d done.

The realization came too slowly for the woman to stop what happened next, feeling the tip of the sword bite into her stomach before she could rip away and take a step backwards. The pain was sharp as the blade tore it’s way through muscle, tissue and slipped between her ribs, not stopping until it exited through her back. A sharp gasp of breath was punched out, specks of blood coming with it from her now punctured lung. Feeling the hilt slam into her stomach, Maggie’s body arched, head rising in time to see Alex fully come back to herself, eyes widening in utter horror. 

The sight shoved down Maggie’s pain, replacing it with deep rooted sadness. She never wanted Alex to come back to this. Curling slightly over the handle of the blade, she reached out a shaking hand to caress her girlfriend’s cheek.

“There you are, I was starting to think I’d never get to see you again.” The words came out choked, a bubble of blood slipping up her throat to pool on her tongue, slipping out and down the corner of her mouth. Still, her lips quirked up weakly into a smile as she said them.

“Maggie, oh god.” The agony in Alex’s gaze nearly burned more than the weapon still pressed through her abdomen. She felt Alex’s hand slip up the hilt to keep it in place as best she could. It was ironic that the thing that had caused her injury, was also the only thing keeping her from bleeding out in that exact moment.

“I love you, you know?” A cough forced her to look away, doing her best to not spray her girlfriend with any of the blood that came up with the sharp escape of air. Despite the black starting to haze the edges of her vision, she forced her head up to look Alex in the eyes again. She would not let that monster be the last thing she saw in her girlfriend’s eyes. No, she would be saying goodbye to the woman she’d fallen for so hard. “I love you so, so much.” 

Her grip was weakening by the minute, but Maggie felt Alex slip closer to take on her weight. That closeness made the trembling sobs wracking her girlfriend’s body roll through her’s as if they were her own. Truly only being on the brink of passing out kept her own tears from forming.

“Don’t you dare blame yourself for this,” she whispered. “Don’t you dare, Danvers. I will come back and haunt your ass if you do.” Her head dropped, arms braced against Alex to keep her upright. “Te amo, mi cielo.”

She wouldn’t remember collapsing into her girlfriend’s arms. Wouldn’t remember Kara crashing back through the window after hearing Alex scream for her in desperation. Wouldn’t remember the Kryptonian nearly breaking the sound barrier as she flew to try and get to the DEO medical bay in time. No, Maggie wouldn’t remember any of that if she woke up. But she would remember the last, hoarse words whispered into her ear.

“I love you, Maggie.”

bed-and-breakfast-engineer  asked:

i just realized after reading that "give alex a wrench" comment that alex has some issues. similar to my own tbh. like she's 100% there for maggie and the rest of her family and wants to help them all be the best they can be. but she's also willing to literally destroy herself for that. she seems to not have much regard for her own life. she'll go in and fuck up a prisoner without regard to the prisoner or herself if it'll help those whom she loves. ;_; my bby.

Same. It fucking hurt. So badly. I know everyone’s like ‘it’s hot’, and like, I totally get it – we all live for rogue Alex – but like also. It hurts so bad.

I wrote this, and I hope to get more into her rage and ruthlessness in the future (though it is layered into a lot of my fics already, because, exactly like you said, it’s just…. so palpable).

https://queergirlwriting.tumblr.com/post/158920340094/winn-get-me-a-wrench-ft-sara-lance-and-oliver