Baby, the way you kiss me
A thing I’ve been thinking about for a hot minute.
There are hello kisses; little pecks good morning, and deep ‘I haven’t seen you all day’ kisses. They have public kisses for when they get off school or work, not meant for an audience, but tame enough that they can handle them. And ones that touch their souls and shake their cores within the walls of the home they made together. Even loves those. He loves to show off his baby, but even more than that, he loves how Isak kisses him when no one is looking.
There are ‘I feel like it’ kisses, because they can. They have the most incredible thing in their hands and hearts and Isak will get on his tip toes (even though he’s not that much shorter than Even) and press his lips to Even’s quickly, and pull away with a satisfied smirk. Even noses along Isak’s cheekbone, and keeps his eyes open so he doesn’t miss a thing.
Then there are ‘I’m sorry’ kisses. They argue everyday, constantly, and its fun. Until it’s not and they aren’t just arguing, they’re fighting and words hurt more than flying fists. Someone takes a walk, and the other is left with dying anger and growing worry. Is this it? Did I do it? Have I finally pushed him away? Baby, please come home. Sometimes, the kiss starts from an exposed shoulder, facing away from the door, too afraid to watch it never open. It travels up until there’s a nose pressed right under a tight jaw. It’s ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘hello’ and ‘you have me’ breathed into shivering skin.
The sweetest are the ‘I love you’ kisses. These ones take their time and spread warmth into every inch of their bodies. They don’t even have to be kissing. Just pressed together, going slightly cross-eyed. They don’t say it out loud often. It’s reserved for the moments they truly need to hear it. But its there. In every touch, every look, every minute. It’s hot and comfortable and buzzing around them constantly. They happen everywhere, too; empty classrooms, when they’re settled into some couch at some party, when they’re making breakfast on the one Sunday Even wakes up before noon.
Sometimes, they need the ‘I’m here’ kisses. When life is working against them, and they’re sinking. A warm pair of lips on a forehead, a cheek, a knee. Wherever they can reach. It’s a lifeline. When Isak’s father says just the wrong thing after a failed test. When Even’s mind is a swirl of grey. It’s an anchor and even if they won’t fix anything, they know that they aren’t alone.
There are plenty of hot kisses too. Too many to count. They’re open mouths and dancing tongues and clashing teeth. They get messy and sometimes they even bleed. Every kiss feels better than the last, their skin growing hot with touches and promises of more. Even knows just how Isak likes his mouth used. He knows that if he sucks Isak’s bottom lip, the boy will sing sweet and high for him. Just like Isak knows that Even loves control. He gives himself over and loves to be dominated in that lovely way Even does.
Goodbye kisses are the hardest. It doesn’t matter if it’s for 5 minutes or 5 days. They all feel too final. Isak grips onto Even’s hair just a little tighter, and Even will always hold on for a few moments too long. They’ve said goodbye too many times in ways they never want to again. So they take whatever they can get. Even if it means that Even is nearly always 2 minutes (and 43 seconds; his boss is really anal about this) late to work and Isak will always rush to his lecture, barely making it most days. They have a hard time letting each other go, when every moment feels like they’ve only just come together.
They both agree, though, that the best kiss they’ve ever had was their ‘I do’ kiss. The one that tied them together in front of everyone they love. 20 and 22 may be too young to get married, and maybe it’s all a mistake. They don’t know. But in that moment it meant everything. It was the sweetest promise. They would be there for each other in every way they could. Them against the world. Even held Isak’s face, like it was something precious. Isak’s lashes fluttered, and his chin tilted up in the way that made Even weak at the knees. Isak whispered a soft, ‘love you’ and grinned. Even took his time, eyes roaming his baby’s face, before leaning to press his lips against Isak’s. It was perfect. Every kiss is.