Merry Christmas, @madfatty! Happy Chanukah, @slitherouter! This fic is my gift to you! (Or at least the part of my gift that you’ll actually get this year, since I am seriously the world’s worst post-office-procrastinator.) The two of you are such an enormous gift, and I am so incredibly thankful for the hilarity and encouragement and hours of talking about anything and everything. I love you guys. Merry Christmas!
P.S. It was very hard to to keep this a secret and write without the hand-holding and amazing encouragement of Lil, beta extraordinaire. So please forgive typos and insane word repetitions.