I like to think that I have a wild side; a reckless heart and a brave soul. I have a certain thirst of 2 am adventures, an entire night under the moonlight with his body keeping me warm. I love the thought of getting blind drunk on the terrace with someone who matches the frequency of my heart and mind, oblivious of the fast paced world around us. I have a certain fondness of the thought of leaving this deadbeat town for long drives without any destination, blasting my favorite albums on full volume and singing along even though I can’t sing to save my life. I love the thought of doing something just because I want to do it, without fearing the judgment of people, of being spontaneous, living in the now, about not being bothered by the mistakes I make, because at the end of the day, these all will become stories that I will want to look back with a smile on my face when I recount them, years later.
But in reality, I’m just a reserved person who does not leave my room and turns all her work in time. I am the nerd people make fun of, a book in my hand wherever I go, because I prefer the comfort of its pages than the people around me. I am the quiet person at the back of the class, who is often overlooked and forgotten; who is sorry way too much, and doesn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, yet ends up getting hurt the most. I keep thinking; wishing that one day, I will become that happy-go-lucky girl which resides in my mind, but that “day” never comes.
I have this adventurous heart that wants to fly in a body that refuses to leave its comforts. And it’s depressing.
— something i wrote a while ago and i’m proud to say i’ve changed //