those depressing kids

i just wanna say some things about 13 reasons why.

hannah baker was a smart, beautiful girl and blah blah but like let’s face it. in the end, she made the decision to kill herself. i know that sounds stupid and whatever but it’s always true. yeah, all those people on her tapes had to do with her suicide, and they impacted her life immensely, BUT it seems like she was already depressed, and those kids on her tapes made it worse. it’s very clear that her depression altered her thinking, and that’s what really drove her to take her life in my opinion. i honestly don’t think it would’ve mattered if someone was nice to her, she still probably would’ve killed herself. i mean she even said it about clay. even if clay told her that he loved her, she would’ve shut him out, saying shit about how she’s not good enough for him or how she’s not worthy of that kind of love.

same type of thing goes for mr. porter. i know he wasn’t incredibly helpful but he did literally and explicitly tell hannah that he’d help her as much as he could. yet, she didn’t ever tell him that bryce raped her, and she even said things to mr. porter that made it seem like it wasn’t rape. she told him that she didn’t say no to bryce, and that she didn’t fight back. i understand that she was too broken or damaged to do that or whatever, and i imagine it would be incredibly hard and scary to fight back against something like that, BUT she still treated mr. porter as if he wasn’t willing to help her. mr. porter was annoying tbh but he had a point when he told hannah to move on. i know it sounds crazy, and there’s definitely no “moving on” from something like rape, but everything mr. porter said was true. hannah wasn’t confessing who raped her and she was giving him NO DETAILS about the rape at all, making it seem like it wasn’t as huge a deal as it was, and so mr. porter probably just thought hannah could handle it, since she wasn’t talking that much about it. i get it’s probably hard to talk about that stuff but like???

idk. this is my point: depression literally changes your brain, it changes it so much that it makes you act the way hannah did. she pushed people away, she became weak emotionally obviously. i think that everyone’s saying that people should’ve been nicer to her, and that’s true they should’ve bc you never know what someone’s going thru, but at the same time, hannah is the only one who could’ve saved herself. that’s the reality of it all. i’m not saying that i’m glad hannah killed herself, but i think the show and jay asher, did a good job at portraying depression. everyone always thinks, that maybe if someone comes in and is nice to a depressed person, then they’ll be saved. i’m sure people thought oh well maybe if clay actually told hannah he loved her, she would’ve stayed alive but in reality that’s probably not the case. i mean, hannah’s not fucking real so i don’t know her brain or her thoughts, but my opinion is that it wouldn’t have mattered who was nice to hannah, and that she would’ve killed herself either way bc that’s how depression works. ONLY YOU CAN SAVE YOURSELF damn it

rainy-maiden said: I DONT EVEN KNOW THEM AND YOU’RE GIVING ME FEELS

bleedd and katura are me and jessica’s fantrolls!!!

this is bleedd he’s mine and he’s a 10 sweeps old jadeblooded doctor who has a weird obsession with blood 

he has a drinking problem and gets drunk on cough syrup

he is also very overprotective and he acts a LOT like a father to all his friends (he’s older than all of them after all ahaha)

he deals with a lot of self loathing and tried to suicide once

aka hes a sweetie but hes depressing as fuck

and this is katura “dream crushing” tethys and she belongs to jessica aka damarab0t

she also has a drinking problem and she also loathes herself and she is obsessed with troll American Mcgee’s Alice

she acts a lot like alice and she goes insane later on

she calls bleedd lizzie and all

so yeah tl;dr THEY’RE SUPER DEPRESSING but also really cute