I'm watching the sound of music and it got my thinking about a stony au lol Steve or Tony as the Father of all the little shit avengers
You know I’ve been stewing over this because either of them could be Georg Von Trapp, but I’ve finally decided: It’s Steve.
Steve, whose wife died (Peggy? Sharon? Nameless Female Character?), and he has all these children that she bore or adopted and he doesn’t know how to relate to them or properly care for them–Bruce has anger issues, Thor and Loki are either the best of friends or at each others’ throats with no in-between, Clint won’t do anything unless he’s ordered to, Natasha is even quieter than usual, Sam is trying to hold all the kids together, and Scott keeps looking at everyone with confusion because his mommy’s gone. Steve enacts the strict military discipline out of desperation–he doesn’t know what else to do. And he’s–he’s so different since his wife died, the kids are kind of–kind of afraid of him. Steve didn’t used to be like this.
Enter Tony, who fled to the convent from Obadiah after his parents had died (or been killed idk). But he doesn’t really fit in. He’d been religious as far as ‘Mom makes me go to church’ but not actually spiritual. He tries to do as he’s told! But he just wasn’t made for it, he guesses. Unfortunately he doesn’t really have anywhere else to go, so he keeps trying. The Mother Abbess character sees this and appreciates this, but decides that Tony would be happier elsewhere and he should be safe enough at an estate as big and walled off as Captain Rogers’s, so sends him to be the kids’ nanny and tutor. (Tony had been a good student until his parents died. He has plenty to teach.)
Tony is appalled by how strict Steve is but understands that different families have different ways of doing things BUT LOKI PUT A FROG IN HIS POCKET AH. “You’re lucky,” Pepper, the housekeeper, tells him. “Last time it was a snake.” Tony is going to kick all of these kids’ asses but nicely. So at supper he thanks them for the gift, because obviously he’d been a little scared and lonely, coming into a new home with people he didn’t know. (Loki, Clint, and Scott cry. Steve wants to scold Tony but he’d actually sounded very sincere. Steve has no idea what’s going on. “Daddy, you’re squinting,” Natasha tells him. “You’re not handsome like that.” Steve squawks, but he doesn’t squint suspiciously at everyone anymore either, so.)
There’s a storm. Tony nearly flings his book out the window when Scott bursts into the room in tears. He brings Scott in for a cuddle, dries his tears, tells him it’s alright. Scott just sobs and clings to him. Tony is about to reassure him further when Natasha, Clint, and Loki appear at his door in various states of distress. (Natasha looks as straight-faced as ever but she’s there so she must be frightened somehow, Tony reasons.) He invites them all onto the bed with him to wait until the storm dies down. “Now all we have to do is wait for the older boys,” Tony says, and Loki scoffs. “You won’t catch them in here. They’re too big to be scared.” Lightning crashes. Bruce and Thor appear at the door. Tony hides a smile behind his hand and says, “I don’t suppose you were scared.” Bruce awkwardly wipes his glasses on his shirt. Thor simply replies, “I was searching for Loki because storms frighten him!” Loki hisses at him like an angry cat, but then there’s the roll of thunder, and Bruce and Thor leap onto the bed so swiftly that Tony’s actually impressed.
“Why does the sky do that?” Scott sniffles. “Well,” Tony starts, rubbing his back, and then decides he can start teaching them now, since that’s technically what he’s there for, and he explains thunder, lightning, and what causes those specific kinds of storms. Steve happens upon them when he goes to do his final check of his children for the night and finds them all gone from their beds. “It’s past your bedtime,” he tells them sternly, instead of You were all gone and I was so scared or Why didn’t you come to me? The kids all slide off of Tony’s bed, disappointed but understanding, and trudge past Steve to go to bed, no longer afraid of the storm. “Daddy!” Scott crows, tugging at his pocket. Steve squats in front of him. “Yes, Scott?” “Mr. Tony told us why the sky makes those big noises!” Scott tells him guilelessly. “The lightning leaves a hole and then the hole makes noise!” “That’s great, Scott,” Steve says, and Scott beams proudly. “But it’s time to go to bed.” “Goodnight Daddy!” Scott replies obediently and then runs off to his room.
“I hope I didn’t overstep,” Tony says hurriedly as Steve stands, stone-faced. “He just came in and I–I wanted to make the thunder less scary for them.” “You did a good job, Tony,” Steve managed, even though jealousy was a thick weight in the pit of his stomach, because why would his children run to Tony instead of him? He was trying his hardest. “I was on my way up to see you,” he adds, not a total lie. “I’ve got to go out of town. Business.” “Oh,” Tony says, and is kind of terrified of being basically in charge of seven children. “Oh, okay.” “Pepper will know how to reach me if there’s a problem,” Steve adds, the jealousy soothed at the momentary look of horror that crosses Tony’s face, even though it’s an unfairly cute face.