buck if the avengers were animals what animals would they be???? thank you
i assume you mean based on personality, and not which avengers have been turned into which animals lately.
what has happened to my life that that is even a question i have to ask??
anyway, steve would be a dog. everyone is right on the money on that one; hed be big, fluffy, loyal as hell, appetite the size of rhode island and love to play fetch. and also have the bite power to sever a mans hand if he was so inclined. you would trust him with a baby but also to eat the face off anyone who threatened that baby. well. maybe not EAT. he does have SOME standards. theoretically.
tony would be a raven. reputation associated with death, but personality of a class clown–likes pranks, messing with people, and trying new stuff. dedicated to family and intelligent as hell. chatty. tool user. did you know ravens can people-talk? if they couldnt, im sure tony would figure out how anyways.
nat would be a swan. beautiful, graceful, but at the top of the do-not-fuck-with list in most animals books. mates for life and more loyal than you would think, with a take no shit and no prisoners attitude. i have a healthy terror of swans, as does any sane human being.
clint would also be a dog, but not like steve. hed be one of those scrappy little terrier mutts that descend from a working breed that are supposed to do things like kill rats. just as loyal and smart and fun-loving as the big guys, but makes up for lack of size with pure tenacity. and so scruffy its cute.
bruce would be an elephant. smart and social, with strong emotional bonds, generally calm and compassionate, but never something you want to be standing in front of when it gets pissed. also really enjoys peanuts?
thor would be a lion. content to chill out most of the time, and more social than most cats, but also totally down to throw down on a moment’s notice. pretty smart but not somebody you ever wanna cross. majestic as anything.
i would be a bear. likes a lot of food in large quantities, and i would love to sit in a river and let dinner fling itself into my mouth. asleep like half of the time. big and badass but generally pretty chill, and smarter than you might think. also a faster runner than you might expect (that’s not really about me, bears can just run at like 35 mph which is a thought to keep you up at night.) and if theres one thing everyone knows about bears, it is that you do not mess with what they are protecting.
also they are opposed to forest fires?? not sure what that has to do with anything, but i guess i can get behind it
Imagine Loki got a spell mixed up, where he wanted Thor to be the lesser liked son for a day but instead had them swap bodies, which in the end has the same effect. No one believes “Loki” when he claims to be Thor, but Frigga seems to know, but say nothing, wanting to teach her older son some humility and her younger some comprehension of his older brothers duties.
Imagine- you are Prince Loki’s personal maid. As the few words exchanged between you gradually turn into a few sentences and then, an actual conversation, Loki begins to realize that he prefers your intelligent, refreshing company to the company of all the pretty palace ladies, and any of the princesses he had ever met.
Restaurant Dates Are The Worst (Tom Hiddleston x Reader)
A/N: This is an adaptation of the Sebastian Stan version of RDATW (a very faithful adaptation, almost word for word except it’s written in third person and ot second). It’s for a dear friend of mine (me heartie @bathshebaa who has the hots for Tom Hiddleston *wink* *wink*)
around her, scrutinizing the surroundings, letting her eyes wander on
the walls, the chandeliers, the dark-red faux velvet chairs next to
the bar section of the restaurant – she looked anywhere but at the
man sitting across from her, ungracefully shoving his spaghetti into
his mouth all the while twaddling.
The first time my dad caught me looking at one of those magazines, he got really upset.
Well, I guess parents don’t like knowing their kids look at that kind of stuff. That’s why they tell them they’ll go to hell or go blind. But my dad...He didn’t believe in that stuff, so my dad said “Tony, when you, you know, it uh, expends energy, both in the climax and in the daily reproduction of sperm, so if you do it a lot, it adds up, and it shortens your life span, and that’s why, on average, males have shorter life spans, because they...you know.”
So you were scared of death?
Yeah. I, I was pretty upset. And then my mom saw that I was crying, so she said this ridiculous thing. She said that she was 40, and I was 11 and if I masturbated enough, I could catch up to her, and that way we could die on the exact same day and never be apart. I think she was trying to be funny, she had a weird sense of humour. And even if she was right, I wouldn’t have been able to jack off fast enough to catch up. She died shortly after.
And so now, when you masturbate you think about your mother.
Ah, Thor, no. That’s weird.
Weird is like when you do stuff that nobody else does, so they make fun of you for it. So when I say that I can’t masturbate because it makes me think about my mom, people laugh at you.
But that’s fun. Making people laugh is great.
It’s not, because they call you names like Tuggy Tony and you have to change schools, and it’s, it’s not fun.
Tony, when I masturbate I’m going to think about your mother.
But if I think about your mom when I masturbate then you won’t be weird anymore, right?
You are now six months pregnant, and are currently living in
Tony’s mansion in Ireland. You and Natasha were preparing for the rest of the
Avengers to visit. New York was quiet and Tony had gotten the Fantastic Four to
agree to watch over the city while they were away.
“Y/N! What are you doing? Let me get that” Tasha called out
You chuckle and squat down anyway, picking up your phone
from where you dropped it. “I’m pregnant, not an invalid, Tasha”
The spy stopped beside you, “You could hurt yourself if you fall,
and Thor isn’t here to bring you to the hospital”
“I’m not going to fall, and even if I did, I’m a Super
Soldier, I’m pretty sure this body could take a fall. Just give it another
month or so and you’ll get tires of having to pick everything up for me”
“I’ll never get tired of preserving your help, Сестра”
Sir and the rest of
the Avengers have just arrived
Out of habit you look up to the ceiling, “Thanks, JARVIS”
You are quite welcome,
Ms. Y/N. May I inquire on the state of your child?
“Now, I know that you have systems that monitor me all day,
so you already know how the baby’s doing”
While that is true, I
cannot gauge the activity of the child, or how you are feeling
“The baby’s really active today, and I’m fine, a little
tired, but fine”
Thank you, Ms. Y/N. I
will inform the doctor of your condition
Before either you or Natasha can move, the door bursts open
and Tony walks in. when he catches sight of you he runs forward, intending to
scoop you into a hug, but Tasha steps in his way
“No, Tony. You cannot be too rough with her. I will not
stand for any of you to injur Y/N or the baby”
“Well it’s good to know that some things never change” Clint
calls out, tossing his duffle bag onto the hallway floor
“You may be my best friend, Clint, but if you hurt her, I’ll
“Tasha” you snap, she immediately stiffens and glances back
at you, “Stop threatening them, they are on vacation. You and Thor are going to
have to get used to other people touching me and my stomach.”
Tony steps around Natasha and gives you a gentle hug. “I
missed you, Y/N, I haven’t had anyone to watch cheesy horror movies with”
“Well, if you’re staying until the end of the pregnancy then
we’ll have plenty of time to catch up”
You pull away from Tony and walk toward Bruce, “Hello,
Bruce blushes, “Hi, Y/N.”
Bruce’s eyes flash green, “He missed you, too. There hasn’t
been a code green since you left. I was wondering if we could go outside and he
Ever since you had joined the Avengers you had made it your
goal to bring Bruce and Hulk closer. You had wanted them to understand each
other. Eventually Hulk had calmed, would only come out if Bruce wanted him to,
or if he was needed. There were practically no more unwanted transformations,
and Bruce was a hell of a lot happier than he had been before.
“I’d love to see Hulk, maybe after dinner?”
“Yeah, I’d really like that”
Captain Rogers and
Thor are requesting assistance at the quinjet
“Never mind, JARVIS, we got it” Steve called
“Steve!” You quickly waddle over and hug the other Super
Soldier, “I missed you!”
“I missed you too, Y/N” Steve gently holds you at arm’s
length, “Wow, I think you’ve gotten even bigger since the last time we video
You chuckle, “Yeah, the baby just keeps on growing!”
Steve’s face suddenly falls, “I’m so sorry, Y/N”
You look up at him, confused, “Why are you sorry? You just
Steve sighs softly, squaring his shoulders, “I told Bucky
about the pregnancy”
You choke, your eyes widening in horror, “Steve …”
“I didn’t tell him where you were, or where we were going,
but he saw one of the pictures that you sent us. He was furious, calling you
names for going and getting you knocked up right after your breakup. I just got
so angry, we ended up in a huge fight. I shouted at him that the baby was his”
Steve locks eyes with you, “I’m so sorry”
You lift a trembling hand up to your mouth, “I think I need
to sit down” You whisper.
Immediately Tasha takes you by the elbow and leads you to
the living room, gently sitting you down on the couch. “James has been looking
for you for about a month and he hasn’t found us yet. Please calm down,
worrying isn’t good for the baby”
“Of course I knew. Steve called me as soon as Bucky stormed
out of the Tower. JARVIS has been keeping track of which Houses he’s been to
“I didn’t want Bucky to know about the baby” You look up at
Tasha, frantically grabbing her arm, “I don’t want him to take my baby away!
You guys can’t let him take my baby”
Steve sits down beside you, “If he even tries to get to you,
he’ll have to go through all of us”
You nod quietly and look up at everyone in the room. All of
them were nodding along with what Steve had said, “Thank you guys. I think I
want to take a nap, I hope you guys don’t mind”
“Go ahead, we’ll start making dinner, and get settled in”
“Thanks, I’ll be up in a little while”
Steve gently pressed a kiss to your forehead, “Let JARVIS
know if you need anyone, we’ll all be right here”
Another month has passed and you are rapidly approaching
your eighth month of pregnancy. It was getting increasingly difficult to walk
around without someone hovering over you. Currently Bruce and Thor were out
grocery shopping, Tony and Steve were talking to Phil and getting an update on
New York, and Natasha and Clint were playing Mario Kart in the living room.
This left you as the only one to answer the door when someone knocks.
“Gimme a minute! I’m moving as fast as I can!” You call out
Ms. Y/N, Ms. Natasha
has been alerted to the knock. She has asked me to tell you not to open the
You chuckle and take a step away from the door “Alright, not
need to get nervous, JARVIS. I just wanted to see who it was”
Natasha walks up behind you and grabs the door handle. She
pulls the door open about two inches and glances at the person on the other
side. As soon as she sees the visitor, Tasha slams the door shut again.
“Go up to your room, Y/N” Tasha growls, pulling out one of
her knives. It’s so rare for her to look anxious that is immediately puts you
“Who was it?” You whisper, dread beginning to fill you
“Сестра, please …”
You step forward and grab the door handle, “Move, Tasha”
Surprisingly she obeys, stepping away from the door, her
shoulders hunching slightly in defeat. You throw the door open and freeze when
you make eye contact with the person on the other side of the door.
James Buchanan Barnes stood there, his eyes sweeping up and
down your body, zeroing in on your protruding stomach.
“Bucky …” His name nothing more than a breath.
He raises his eyes to yours, “Steve wasn’t lying, you really
You nod quietly, “Yeah, I am”
Bucky gently nudged you back inside and steps into the
mansion, “Do you know how hard it was to find you? No one would tell me
anything, and then they all just left. Eventually I just started going out to
all of the properties that Tony owns. I’m sorry it took so long to find you,
but JARVIS refused to be any help”
You could feel the shock wear off, and anger rise up to take
its place. “That’s what you’re sorry for?!? For taking too long to find me!?
Did you ever think that I didn’t want to be found? You left me! I didn’t want
you to know about the baby! I didn’t want to force you to stay with me! Our
child deserves more than that!” By the end of your rant you can feel tears
flowing down your face. Tasha steps forward and hands you a tissue.
“The stress is not good for the baby, Y/N, you need to calm
down” While Tasha was extremely gently with you, she rained down all her anger
onto Bucky. “How dare you show your face here, Barnes! You think you can just
show up and everything will be alright?!”
“I’m so sorry, Y/N” Tears were filling Bucky’s eyes, “I had
to leave you, I didn’t have a choice. That day at the café Rumlow called me, he
demanded that I end our relationship. He threatened to kill you, to take you
back to HYDRA. He had a gun trained on you, and I couldn’t disobey. If I had
you might have been killed.”
“If you think that excuse is enough, then you are wrong”
Bucky wasn’t listening to her though; he was only looking at
you. “By the time I tracked him down and destroyed the facility, you were gone.
I went back to the Tower to get some help. That was where I saw the picture of
you pregnant. I just got so angry that I started calling you names and then
Steve told me that the baby was mine. That was when I realized why HYDRA wanted
you so badly.” Bucky let out a soft sob, “He wouldn’t tell me where you were.
And then when I went back a week later everyone was gone and JARVIS wouldn’t
tell me where they went. I managed to track then here, to you.” Bucky drops
down onto his knees and grabs your hands, “Do you – do you think you could ever
You sigh quietly, “I don’t know, Bucky. I hurt when you
left, it felt like you didn’t even care, like I meant nothing to you”
“I know, and I’ll do anything to make up for that! Just –
please give me a second chance. I’d never have left you if I had the choice, I
just didn’t see any way out of it”
“One chance, Bucky, only one, that’s all you get”
Bucky peppers kisses all over your hand, “Thank you, thank
you, thank you …”
“You have to get everyone else to forgive you too, Bucky”
you tell him, Bucky nods frantically, “One mistake Buck, one, and you’re gone”
“I promise, Y/N. I promise I’ll do anything to make it up to
“I’ve already accepted your apology,
it’s the others that you have to worry about”
Headcanon that Hercules used to find Loki pretty hot ("used to" my ass, lol, Loki only gets better with time) and the moment he asked "How is Loki?" Thor got war flashbacks of past times Herc had tried to flirt with his brother. THIS TIME HE'S NOT GOING TO ALLOW IT
Big Bro Thor is like the dad with the shotgun answering the door to any potential suitors that want to date their daughter/son. ;)
So everyone always makes a big deal about how Alex and Magnus and the rest of the people in Vahalla will never age while the rest of the characters will age but like: what if Ragnarok happens before the aging characters die???
ASSDFDGFGG SHOOT I JUST THOUGHT UP A WHOLE ANGSTY FANFIC WHY I DON’T HAVE TO TIME TO WRITE ANYTHING HELP