thor that is rude

zoemonster200  asked:

I flipping love fake wife!!! If you don’t mind, could I request one?! Just a short but cute and fluffy one of someone walking in on Reader and Loki?

“Oh, fuck –”

The door slides open and you squawk, arms flailing as you quite literally fall off of Loki and the bed, dragging the sheets with you and leaving a startled God of Mischief screaming all while trying desperately to cover himself with a pillow from their rude interruption.

Thor!” Loki’s voice is a screech, “How many times do we have to tell you to knock before you just waltz in!”

Thor, who has half a sandwich in his mouth, is using the other half to attempt and block the sight from his eyes – he moves, quickly shrieking an apology before tripping over himself and falling face first into the metal door as you scramble to your feet, wrapped in the blanket. 

OW,” Thor bellows, sandwich forgotten and hands rubbing the apparent egg on his forehead, “OW OW OW OW – I’m sorry – OOOOOOOWWW. I simply wanted to see if you’d both be interested in join Korg and I for sparring –

“Thor!” you shriek, “Get out!”

“ – But I see you two are sparring together already –”

You snatch Loki’s pillow, lobbing it at the God of Thunder’s head before punching the keypad and slamming the metal door shut.

Out!”

Thor, on the other side of the door, lets out a high-pitched scream at the pillow. “That was – That touched his manhood! That is disgusting!”

Finally, silence falls and you exhale, face bright red as you turn to shoot Loki a look. He’s sprawled flat against the sheets, both hands covering his face. You swallow, trying to fight a smile at the entire situation. Your voice betrays you.

“We really should change the pass code.”

Loki raises his head, sparing a glance at you before you both slip into raucous laughter. You look like some wayward vagabond, swaddled in the black sheets and looking increasingly more like a little babushka with every second. You slap a hand over your mouth to quell your own laughs at Loki’s own loud, amused and genuine laughter. Your snort fills the air of the bedroom. His stomach jumps with each laugh and you crawl beside him into bed, hands seeking his sides. 

“You threw my pillow at him.”

“You threw me off of you!”

Loki laughs again, hands pressing against his face. “I didn’t know what else to do!”

“Yeah, lemme just throw my wife off across the room,” you chide as Loki’s laughs spur onward. Your lean on your elbow, watching him grin with a happy smile. Your hand fleets to his chest, spread against the muscles there. His own hand snatches it before peppering kisses to your knuckles.

Once his laughter settles, you kiss him.

“But seriously,” you mutter against his lips as you climb atop his lap once more, “We really need to change the pass code.”

Frost (Chapter Eight)

ADDITIONAL CHAPTERS HERE

***************

Nothing changed right away between Loki and Tony, or at least not in any obvious way.

Perhaps their daily lunches were a little longer now, and Loki had definitely stopped changing wherever he hid. Now they ate every day in his solarium, their legs touching as they shared the couch, quietly talking about whichever book one was reading, or something that had happened the day before.

Tony still would join Loki in the gardens a couple times a week, following behind him with a watering can as Loki weeded the plants, or clipped roses to put in various vases around the castle.

At least once a week Thor would sit with them, usually on the floor by Tony’s legs so he could see both of them, and always left with a kiss to Tony’s head, and a soft word and hand on the shoulder for Loki.

It was nice. It was different, but it was nice.

And being able to kiss Tony was more than Loki had ever hoped for.

Just quick kisses of course, barely there brushes against his mouth, a hand on Tony’s thigh or cupping his jaw for a few brief seconds before they parted.

Loki never pushed for more, and Tony never initiated it, but as the weeks wore on Loki was having a harder and harder time keeping himself in check, having a harder time pulling away when he should or keeping his hand from wandering up Tony’s thigh.

But that was fine.

Because he hadn’t had a moment in weeks where his skin shaded blue or the frost ran through him. Not since their dance when he had been so afraid of what was happening. And that was… encouraging. Loki felt calm around Tony, he felt at peace for the first time in years as they ate their lunches and shared light touches and gentle embraces.

Or at least he felt calm and at peace until Tony would shift closer and give that little moanthat he did whenever  Loki pulled away, or when he would just casually let his hand rest on Loki’s leg, usually higher than necessary, and then wink in that entirely distracting way.

And it had been happening more often this last week, so Loki had risen this morning with one goal in mind– To speak to Thor about taking things further.

And he was terrified.

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anonymous asked:

"Woah!- woah-woah easy there.. Y/N?" With Thor Odinson

Originally posted by thorduna

“Woah!- woah-woah easy there.. Y/N?” You crashed into Thor after running through the Avengers compound. Stop only because he was built like a wall, he held you at arms length looking at you curiously?

“Tony’s chasing me! He’s going to kill me! I ate his food!” It was only a sandwich, only a sandwich…and yet it had apparently been an important sandwich to Tony at least. 

“And he would not share? That is inhospitable! Foul! Rude!” 

“That’s not the point, Thor!” You pointed behind you at Tony who had rounded the corner, partially wearing his Iron-Man suit and looking about ready to beat you up. You didn’t realise he took food this seriously!

“Stark! This is unacceptabl-” You continued running, Tony barging past Thor in the process. Not even a God was going to stop him avenge his sandwich.

The Wager

@captain-biryani asked for Logyn x 10 Things I Hate About You. Sorry it’s late, and I hope it’s okay. xoxox

Character descriptions inspired by @nanihoosartblog Logyn High School AU posts.


Loki sat in the living room, a sharp contrast to the cheerful décor in his signature black, trying not to sigh with boredom whilst Odin ripped into a hungover Thor yet again.

“I’ve had had it up to here with your immaturity and your recklessness!” the old man shouted whilst his wife lingered in the background, ready to step in if things went too far. “Do you have any idea how many favours I had to call in just so that the police wouldn’t press charges?! Do you honestly think you will get into any decent college with that sort of drunken buffoonery on your record?!”

“I’m sorry, father. I wasn’t thinking-”

“Exactly!” Odin roared. “You weren’t thinking! You never think things through. You only care about having ‘fun’ in the moment, consequences be damned. Well, I have had enough! You are grounded until you graduate!!”

“Odin…” Frigga chided quietly before Thor had a chance to object.

“Fine,” Odin grumbled. “A month, then. And after that you will have a strict curfew. Home by eight every evening. No excuses.”

“Father! You can’t be serious!” Thor whined, failing to know when to keep his mouth shut.

“Deadly serious,” Odin shot back. “You will be home by eight. You will eat dinner, you will do your homework, and you will go to bed at a reasonable hour.”

“And have no social life! If you wanted me to become like Loki so badly why didn’t you just say so?” Thor grumbled petulantly, sparing a glare at his brother sitting quietly at the other end of the couch.

Frigga whispered in Odin’s ear and Odin smirked.

“Very well,” Odin murmured before turning back to address his son. “Your mother has thought of reasonable compromise.” Thor perked up, shifting to the edge of his seat. “You can go to parties on the weekend… when your brother does.”

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Imagine that, in a ploy to trick Thor and the Warriors, Loki poses as a barmaid in a tavern. Thor cannot understand why, but he feels as though he knows the almost rude woman. It irks him day and night and returns to the tavern time and again, trying to place her. In the end, Loki makes it that the Warriors forget the woman, as do all other tavern goers and staff, leaving Thor very perplexed. 

virushoney  asked:

comfortable : peacock loki 💚

Comfort.

That was the second word that came to Thor the moment he saw Loki after entering their home.

Comfort, a sense of belonging, relaxation and the slow vanishing of the tension in his shoulders and mind. He liked how comfortable Loki made him feel by sharing his life, by his presence, by sleeping in Thor’s bed, on his couch, draped over the back of Thor’s sofa, reading on his rug before the fire or on the roof.

His comfort made Thor feel comfortable.

The first word was magnificent. Unimaginably magnificent, Loki was, so absolutely beautiful.

Everything from his hair to his eyes, from his pale skin to the stunning plume he carried behind him everyday, making Thor wonder how he got this magnificent creature  all for himself.

Men had died pursuing enchanted creatures like Loki or gone mad after their obsession to capture them failed.

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Zodiac Signs as The Avengers!

Originally posted by elfpen

WRITTEN BY ZODIAC SOCIETY, THEZODIACSOCIETY.COM

Aries: Steve Rogers/Captain America - An Aries would perfectly be represented by Steve Rogers because of his honest and self-assertive personality. They are extremely headstrong and determined just like Rogers was in the Army despite being rejected numerous times. Aries typically have a high sense of justice which is expressed by Rogers need to protect the greater good and do what’s right no matter the tough choices. However, because they always believe that what they determine is the right path, it’ll sometimes put them in challenging and competitive situations like with his constant bickering with Tony Stark.

Taurus: Vision - A great example of a Taurus would best be Vision because like a bull, he is peaceful. thoughtful and only aggressive when provoked. A Taurus will often find the world beautiful and good, which Vision was unlike Ultron, as he saw the beauty in humanity because of their imagination and promising future. They are also very dependable, desiring to protect life whether it be human or nature, and while they love control and stability, they aren’t afraid to understand and accept change as long as they given time to because they will generally take their time to get the best of it.

Gemini: Phil Coulson - Due to the flexible and versatile personality they have, Phil Coulson would best represent a Gemini because the two sides are their main traits. On one hand, a Gemini can be fun-loving and outgoing, and on the other had they will be serious and analytical. They are known to have a very humorous side, often sarcastic and witty, which Coulson is often especially when with his team or undercover. But Coulson is also often serious and when they know a situation calls for it, they will be blunt and straightforward. Gemini’s are very sociable and communicative and love a great mind-stimulant, which is also provided by Coulson’s great interpersonal skills.

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Jealous

Another Wattpad request. I do not own Tony, Thor, or Steve. They belong to Marvel. 

Warnings: Jealous Tony, angst, fluff

Pairings: Tony Stark x reader, Thor, Steve Rogers.

Originally posted by bucky-is-done-with-this-shit

Your laughter carried through the Tower, reaching Tony’s ears. He smiled at the sound. It was something he loved to hear. Tony made his way toward the living room, but stopped short when he got there. You were still laughing, but it was who you were laughing with that caused Tony to freeze. You were sitting with Thor and laughing at something he said. Tony felt something he wasn’t used to. Jealousy.

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221B Midgard Part 1

221B Midgard Part ½

Pairing: Sherlock x Asgardian Reader

Word Count: 1157

MasterList 

Request: @imboredsueme Oh, it’s a Sherlock x reader. The reader is from Asgard and kind of crashed into England, (you can choose why she left in the first place)  and Sherlock went to investigate. And he wants to know where she came from and he doesn’t believe her because it’s impossible and then like a few weeks later Loki comes looking for her and tries to take her back but she doesn’t want to leave Sherlock?


Your feet were traveling faster and faster through the wet grass. Your book in your hand swinging beside you. You longed for these days alone roaming the grounds of the palace. Ever since your brother’s imprisonment in the bowels of the palace, you needed this alone time. The wind was blowing through your hair and you loved the feeling, it was calming in the hectic world that was now your reality.

Your other brother Thor and your father Odin were preoccupied with the convergence of the Nine Realms. With all the added stress you seemed to be pushed aside. Loki was always your companion, exploring the grounds and surrounding areas of Asgard, you felt so lonely without him.

You were running, eyeing a spot to stop, sit, and relax with your newest pick from the library. You saw a break in the rocks and decided that was a nice shady spot to rest. The moment you stepped into it you felt your body being stretched, pulled, and spun around. You had never experienced anything like this before, and the sensation was new and unnerving.

Your ears were ringing and the sounds around you sounded muffled. Your feet hit hot asphalt and you looked down at your hands to see your book gone. You spun slowly, finding that your surroundings had changed completely. A large metal object was moving towards you, and your feet refused to move. Your eyes grew wide, where were you?

Your body was pushed to the ground, and you could feel someone on top of you.

“Unhand me you fiend!” You yelled, wiggling away from their grip.

“Fiend? You were in the middle of the bloody street!” He yelled, helping you to your feet.

“Where am I?” You spun around, examining this new world. You could tell the stranger who had saved you was eyeing your blue, long, draping dress.

“Baker Street in London.” He answered, suspiciously, as if I should have known the answer.

“Midgard?” You asked, looking around once more. You placed your head in your hands, worrying. How the hell was there a portal in your gardens? No one would have known you were missing yet, the only person who would have noticed was trapped below the place he once called home.

“Mid-what? Who the hell are you?” He asked, rudely.

“I am Y/N of Asgard, daughter of Odin, and I demand to be spoken to with some respect.” You retorted.

“Asgard? Like Thor, the man who brought destruction upon Manhattan?” He asked rudely, word must travel fast.

“Thor was only trying to help! Loki led the Chitauri under manipulation of another stronger being, it wasn’t his fault.” You argued, feeling something sticky run down the side of your face.

“You can’t be from Asgard that’s impossible- you’re bleeding.” He noticed, reaching his hand to examine the wound you must have gotten upon impact with the ground. You swatted it away, not wanting to be touched by this Midgardian. He sighed, exasperated.

“Look, just because you’re pretending to be a goddess from another realm doesn’t mean I can’t help you if you’re hurt.” He argued. Seeing no other option and being stranded on a faraway realm with no way to contact home, you gave in, and accepted his help.

He lead you into a nearby building, you noticed the number on the door: 221B.

You sat on the counter in his kitchen, as he quietly tended to your wounds. You knew he didn’t believe you, and that frustrated you, you had never been treated like this before. No one had ever argued with you, this was new. You weren’t worried about your wounds, you knew they would heal in a few hours.

“What’s your name, Midgardian?” You asked, as he was putting things away. He was tall, with black curly locks.

“You know, you can give up the act in here, there’s no one here to witness it.” He said, and you rolled your eyes, what was it going to take?

“Your soul shows great sadness,” you began, and he whipped around, now curious, “I can see it in your eyes. Your life has been paved in loneliness and isolation, and you lost someone dear to you at a young age.”

You took his hand, and was now able to see more, you examined it, tracing your fingers along the lines.

“Lost, but not gone. Your sister, she was deeply troubled, I see fire in her eyes. I sympathize, my brother is now locked away too.” You said lightly, missing him.

“How could you possibly know all that?” He asked, taken aback.

“I can see it. Though only the past, so it’s not incredibly useful.” You stated, looking around the messy room.

“Sherlock,” He said, and you gave him a confused look, “That’s my name…Sherlock Holmes.”

“That’s quite odd, I’ve never heard that name before. As far as midgardians go I’ve only heard of Jane, Darcy, and a man by the name of Selvig. Thor told me of them after his first trip here, he’s grown quite fond of it, though I can’t see why.” You glances around once more.

“Erik Selvig? The Astrophysicist?” Sherlock asked.

“Yes, I believe so. Do you know him?” You asked.

“No, only from the news… Jesus you’re telling the truth aren’t you.” His eyes grew wide.

“But… How did you get here? Did you mean to?” He asked, leading you to a chair in the sitting room.

“It was an accident, I was in my gardens on the outskirts of the palace and then one moment I wasn’t. I was here, and then you were on top of me.” You answered, he placed a warm cup in your hand. You eyed it for a few minutes before taking a sip.

“Sorry about that, but you would have been hit by that lorry.” He said, and you had no idea what that meant but didn’t want to ask.

“It must have been brought about by the convergence of the nine realms. I had heard of portals appearing, but I didn’t think they were anywhere near Asgard.” You spoke to yourself.

“So you have no way of getting back. Maybe we could try to contact Selvig, I don’t know what he could do but he sure knows more than I do, maybe-” He began and you cut him off.

“Maybe he knows how Thor got back! That’s brilliant.” You smiled.

Sherlock tried for hours to find Selvig, but he was ‘off the grid’. You didn’t know where this grid was, but you needed to find him.

“It’s late, we could try again in the morning. I may know someone who could help, but until then I don’t know what more I can do.” He said, looking exhausted, and you felt the same.

“You’ve done so much already, and for that I thank you.” You said quietly, silently losing hope of ever seeing your family again.


Part 2


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Under The Setting Sun || Chapter I

Words: 1705

Warnings: none

SUMMARY: When the world is falling apart, the only thing that humanity needs are heroes. Namely the united heroes. In an uneven fight against the forces of evil, they will have to lay down their fate on the edge of the providence. Which of sides will suffer a defeat and which will plunder in glory after a delightful victory?

Author: Manaick

A/N: This is our interpretation of Avengers: Infinity War {We based our story on the trailer and our own premonitions regarding an upcoming movie}. Hope you will enjoy it.

This was their only home.
The spaceship was simply constructed of something iridescent.
Straight lines were forming the walls, a large window at the front was allowing to navigate properly.

The frame around the surroundings was filled with ominous brittle silence, for there was no gravity to hold them firmly nor was there gravity to supervise their zeal and minds.

They somehow knew that something was around.

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10

In a recent ‘exchange’ I had with somebody they accused Spidey of being a an egotistical dick and an example of ‘toxic masculinity’ in the above interactions he had with the Avengers. I want to revisit this because I find that reading so utterly nonsensical.

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anonymous asked:

what's " a g-slur" from the post about thor ragnarok? sorry if this sounds rude i am just curious what in the movie that refers to

g*psy, an extremely derogatory term for Romani people

this word has always been a slur, but it wasn’t until very recently that non-Romani / non-Roma people actually started listening, to a degree

I’m not Roma/Romani myself so i don’t know that much about the culture, but I do know that the word is indeed a slur, and for some reason the western world has yet to get with the program and STOP USING IT

and yeah apparently during the Age of Ultron press tour, this word was used to describe Scarlet Witch, and Mark Ruffalo and Jeremy Renner were corrected about the use of this term (but they used it anyway), but Mark allegedly apologized for that?

So it’s disappointing to see ragnarok and not only hear that word, but hear it from the mouth of a person who was already reprimanded on using it for laughs

The Grocery Store: Sam Wilson

Fandom: Marvel

Pairing: Sam Wilson x Reader

Summary: It’s your turn to buy the groceries for Earth’s Mightiest Heroes and Sam’s nice enough to accompany you.

The Grocery Store Materlist

Originally posted by vanilla-ice-384


You entered the grocery store with your arm hooked around Sam’s, “Thanks for comin’ with me, Sam Jam!”

Sam smiled, “Sure thing, sugar tits.”

You slapped his arm, “What did I tell you about not calling me that in public?!”

Sam laughed, “And what did I tell you about not calling me Sam Jam?” Silence, “Uh huh. See that’s what you get.” He grabbed a cart and you began to walk down the aisles. 

“So what did we need to buy?” You asked as you began to browse down the cereal aisle.

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A Warrior’s Life

TITLE: A Warrior’s Life


CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter Thirty-Three

AUTHOR: wolfpawn

ORIGINAL IMAGINE:

Imagine Viking Loki coming to your village, raiding, and pillaging, before deciding there is something about you that intrigues him and deciding to take you back to Asgard with him. There, you are forced to learn a new life and language, and though you hate what has happened to you, you learn that Loki is not as bad as you think.

RATING: Mature.

NOTE: Naming ceremony – In Viking culture, nine nights after birth, the child had to be recognised by the father of the household. He placed the child on his knee while sitting in the high seat. Water was sprinkled on the child; it was named and thus admitted into the family.

Nearly four weeks later, word was sent to Loki and Maebh, that Sif had birthed another son safely. Thor had asked that they join him and his family for a meal to celebrate. Loki explained to Maebh that it was customary that nine days after an infant is born, there is a naming ceremony held in its honour. As the new child was hardly a day old, this was merely to be a family celebration.

Both Loki and Maebh worked around the farm and house to prepare for the evening. Loki had insisted that Maebh not work as hard due to her condition, but she was adamant that she would decide what it was she could and could not do for herself. Due to her vicious temper at the broaching of the subject, Loki had agreed somewhat sheepishly, however, with each passing week, Maebh had to admit to herself she was not as capable as she was used to being.

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Age Is Just A Number (Thor)

are you guys ready for some garbage? too quiet? let me just- ARE YOU GUYS READY FOR SOME GARBAGE? CAUSE YOU’RE GONNA GET IT YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!


“Don’t lie.” You order, staring down the five-year-old before you.

“I’m not lying, Steve shoved me down the stairs.” Natasha blinks, her eyes big and doe like as she gazes at you. She’s too innocent.

“Then why aren’t you hurt?” You question and the tiny redhead doesn’t even hesitate. Her little lying ass.

“Cause it didn’t hurt, I have super healing.” She answers instantly and you can’t help groaning and collapsing back onto the couch behind you. Natasha pauses, watching you before she climbs onto your lap and wraps her arms around your neck.

“I know you were worried about me.” She sighs, pressing a kiss to your cheek before she’s suddenly distracted by Pietro chasing Peter across the room.

“Oof!” Peter grunts as he trips, headfirst into the carpet, and worry fills you. Natasha slips from your arms, cautiously closing in as Peter sits up dazedly. Pietro laughs at him, only for a strangled scream to part his lips.

“No! Don’t!” He begs as Natasha shoves his face into the carpet, her tiny fist raining down on his shoulder over and over again.

“Oh my god!” You snap, scooping her off him and wincing as she pulls his hair. “Let go.”

“Fine.” She snaps, squirming out of your grip to help Peter to his feet and pat his head. “He’s all better!”

“No, I’n not!” The little spider kid whines, fat tears pooling in his eyes and you can see the moment, almost like slow motion, that Natasha decides to hit him in the face. Mores the pity, you’re to slow and her shove rains down like a light breeze on a leaf.


“How’re you doing?” Bruce grimaces from behind the glass sliding door and you scowl at him. Tony appears behind him, a serious expression on his face.

“I don’t know, I’m stuck with five children with ages ranging from four to six. I’m doing abso-tootely amazing.” You growl, making sure to point at the way Steve is clinging to your calf.

“Wanda’s behaving well at least.” Tony points out and your gaze goes to the little girl colouring in the corner while her brother rampages around the couch.

“Oh yeah, she’s a real treasure that one, all she’s doing is colouring everything in red and putting crosses over the eyes.” You huff, dragging Steve from off your leg and hefting him into your arms instead where he tucks his head under your chin.

“I’m not sorry.” Tony says, shaking his head at the chaos you’re surrounded by.

“Well maybe instead of standing there not being sorry you could work faster and get me the hell out of here.”

“Hey! Hey! For all we know it’s contagious.”

“Screw you guys.”


“Guys! I’ve been in here for seven hours, I’m fine! It’s not contagious!” You shout, slamming your palm against the glass door fruitlessly. You’re suffering.

“I’m hungry!” Steve sobbed, curled into a ball on the couch. You’d go pet him or something if he didn’t turn away from you every time you sat next to him with a violent sob. He’s being ridiculous.

So is Natasha though. You’d never have thought the Ah Satan of her name would apply, until you saw her pinning down Pietro and biting him. That doesn’t sound so bad, lets clarify, she was biting him with the intent to eat him. In her words, he wouldn’t shut up and I was hungry and I wanted him to die cause he wouldn’t shut up.

“We’re sending in Thor with a tray of nine sandwiches. Just in case.” Tonys voice says over the speakers and you scoff, rolling your eyes at the half fearful, half amazed look on the gathered childrens faces.

“Eventide, my love.” Thor booms without a care, setting down the tray and you’re about to burst into complaining when suddenly- another child.

“God dammit!” You snarl, your fist slamming against the window as four-year-old Thor starts to sob. “Come here, you little portent. It’s okay, it’s okay.”

Gently, you rock him in your arms while reaching down and handing triangles of sandwiches down to hungry fingers.

“Everyone eaten?” You ask the kids around the room, little chirps answering you with the affirmative.

“I haven’t.” Thor sniffles in your arms and you coo at him, offering him a triangle of sandwich, which he takes gently.

“You ready to be set down? Go sit with Stevie?” You ask him gently and he sniffles once more but nods, no more tears falling and you beam. Setting him on his feet, you watch him bound over to Steve and crash into the other child, which leads to a wrestling match- obviously.

“I hate you guys.” You call to the roof and tapping sounds from the door.


“Here. My blood, take it and fix them.” You snarl, dropping the vials into the envelope and slipping it out the three centimetre door crack. Not even fair.


“How’re you doing?” Bucky asks from behind the glass and you groan a weak sound. You’re under six babies, all asleep and clinging to you.

“I’m weak.” You whimper, unable to even lift your hand to the glass or turn your head too far.

“You look it.” Comes his soft laugh and you hiss a breath as Wanda stirs before she returns to sleep, her ear to your heart.

“I want to get out of here.” You repeat and he makes a noise of agreement. You’re surrounded by your teammates who were normal one moment, and suddenly, children the next. Seriously.

You’d all been watching The Office and then suddenly Pietro was squalling on the couch, then Wanda suddenly became the weird kid, Natasha and Steve following in quick succession, then lastly came Peter who had been sitting beside you. When you’d remained normal, you figured it must have been something the others ate and you hadn’t. Or you’d eaten it later like the leftover Chinese from the new place.

But with Thors entrance and sudden infantification, you’d realized you were destined to be the only adult left.

“This makes no sense.” You mutter, glaring at the lounge room. Anything that might have been the cause, chemical or magical in origin, likely was trashed with the rest of the room. It didn’t stand a chance against four bored kids. To reiterate, little Wanda is such a weirdo. “I might also have to break up with Thor after this.”

“Why?”

“I’ll never forget today and what a terror he is as a child, and every time I’ll look at his face, I’ll see that.” You point to the tiny cherubic face of what was once your boyfriend. “Also, in this moment, I’m a literal cradle robber.”

“Disgusting.” Bucky snickers, and you sigh, your head thunking against the glass. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s no ones fault, as far as we know.” You mumble, your thumb rubbing circles over tiny Steves back.

“A cure!” Tony announces, waking all the kids at once and starting up six sobbing screams, in unison.

“If I don’t have it in my hand in two seconds, I’ll murder you.” You mouth to him through the cacophony and he swallows hard, pressing the button and letting the door slide open.

“Here.” He croaks, handing you the tiny bottle and you drag him through the doorway, waving at Bucky to shut the door.

“You’re coming in, you’ve been exposed too much.” You smirk, shoving him down onto the couch and herding the utterly depressed children up next to him. “Show me your tongues, sweethearts.”

As they stick their tongues out, you drop two drops of the liquid on their tongues, per the instructions, and then throw yourself against the opposite couch.

Steve is the first to come around, bursting into his regular size and promptly falling asleep. Then Natasha, who follows suit, then almost as one the rest are regular sized and asleep. Even Tony, who was a child for three seconds, is out like a light.


“What was it?”

“A mix of the Chinese food and the subtle radiation we’re all exposed to.”

“So anyone could turn into a baby at any moment, all their customers-”

“No, no, the radiation we’re exposed to.”

“Wait what?” You blink, frowning at Bruce as Tony makes quiet whining noises in the background. When the lot of them had reawaken, they were all struck by a nasty hangover.

“In the work we do, and where we live, and the equipment we use, as well as any cellular modifications in our bodies, we’re constantly surrounded by low level radiation. It’s set higher than what a regular person would take in, and it’s more dangerous as the type changes with where we are or what we’re doing. What it is also, is unavoidable. This is the task we’ve undertaken and it’s too late for us now anyways.” Bruce shrugs, picking up the chart beside him and examining it once more.

“Wow.” You exhale, moving dazedly from the room and heading back to your own. “Then why was I-”

“I’ve noted it before but it never seemed important, but your powers make your body like lead in the fact that radiation just sheers off of it. I can’t explain it, and never felt the need to since it hadn’t affected you or the others in any way. I can look into it if-”

“No, no, don’t worry.” You laugh, eyeing your skin curiously but shrugging it off. What’s the point in learning more? Even lead can be melted down, just like death comes for everyone.


“My heart, could you but lay a cool towel upon my brow?” Thor whines, huddled under your blankets and for a moment you’re struck by differing images- tiny Thor huddled under your blanket who you want to break up with, and regular Thor from a month ago, sick and adorably loving.

“Sure.” You gulp, moving to the bathroom and breathing in deeply, only to choke. “Did you throw up in here?”

“Mayhaps.” He groans weakly and you groan. Flicking on the fan, you shut the door behind yourself and clamber onto the bed beside your golden haired god.

“There.” Setting the towel over his forehead, you can’t help yourself from running your thumb over his jaw, and smiling when he ducks his chin and presses his lips to the pad of the digit. “We should talk.”

“You wish to break up with me now?” Thor whines, blinking pathetic and oceanic blue eyes up at you. “Could you not wait?”

“It might make it worse to wait.”

“You’re my heart.” Thor says, the words like a sledgehammer. Rude, unfair, inexcusable. He can’t throw around terms of affection like that when you’re trying to end things.

Your lips part to counter with something, anything, but there’s nothing you can say to that. Responding the same would be the opposite of breaking up and calling him a liar would just be rude, and of course a falsity. You know he’s not lying; he does love you.

“Mayhaps, my love, we could…” Thor trails off, sitting up with his eyes darting around the room nervously. You can see him searching for a solution for a problem you haven’t even told him about.

“I keep seeing the little kid you, Thor, and I can’t… Touch you or kiss you when I keep seeing a four-year-old.”

“Blast it all.” He snaps, “Damn it all Helheim and the lesser gods.”

“I know right.” You agree softly, letting his giant hand capture yours on the blankets. You stare at the two hands, yours smaller and softer than his, at the war scars that scatter both of your skin, your knuckles both scarred beyond repair.

“With time this may pass, I will wait.” Thor promises and your shoulders sag. He’s being a real jerk now.

“I can’t promise I will.” You counter, slipping from off the bed and pulling your hand from his. You’re glad that he lets you go, and you’re glad when you return hours later that he is gone and all his stuff has disappeared too.


wow amirite

yeesh

avengers prefences book 1: your fav thing about him

Tony -

Your fav thing about him, his jokes or his sassy remarks to others after they said something. Rude or dead

Thor

Your fav thing about thor, how he shows his strength and gentle side at the same. He was kind and careing, also strong and he knew how to show it and use it when it is needed

Loki

Your fav thing about loki, how a gentlemen is to you and around other people. Unlike the other men you have dated before, he always make sure you feel like a princess