thor humor

Imagine Tom playing truth or dare with an interviewer

Interviewer- Well the internet want you to play truth or dare Tom, are you up for it?

Tom- Sure…

Interviewer- Okay, truth or dare?

Tom-Truth

Interviewer- @fangirl78 asks did you used to stalk your now wife y/n on social media?

Tom-*gif* Yes.

Interviewer- *begins sniggering* wow thank you for you’re honesty

Tom- you’re welcome *laughs to himself*

Interviewer- truth or dare?

Tom- I’ll go truth again…

Interviewer- @princesslaurea asks have you ever slept with someone on the first date?

Tom-*gif* Yes.

Interviewer- Wow, does y/n know? *he begins laughing again*

Tom- I hope so, she was there *a huge grin dawns on his face*

Interviewer- Again thanks for the honesty, guess Tom isn’t as innocent as we all thought….

archiveofourown.org
Show Chapter | Archive of Our Own
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
By Organization for Transformative Works

Chapter 2 of “Barista-Meet-Cute-I-Hate/Love-You-But-Our-Friends-Are-Dating-And-There’s-Alcohol-Involved (because, of course there’s alcohol involved)”

In which Sif and Sigyn prove that the course of true love runs through both the fields of Elysium and a WWF ring, and in which Thor writes many notes on little coffee napkins.

Tropes/cliches in ch. 2 include:
“he’s an arrogant but sexy asshole and [he] hates him but kinda also wants to fuck him and [he] will as soon as we see that underneath it all he’s actually a puppy with such a kind heart.” (from @eve1978) [Does that count as a spoiler? Does anyone really not know where this is headed?]
“They also haaaaate each other, until…ya know….they don’t” (from @therealopheliatagloff)
Our friends are dating (suggested by, like, everyone)
We get stuck together at a dinner (from @ourladypinxthings)
That little sliver of skin when someone’s shirt rides  up (also suggested by everyone)
Someone’s breath hitches (ibid)
Hands gripping so tight the knuckles are white (from @marvelousmissfit)
We’re trapped in a room together and have no choice but to interact (from @angryschnauzer, et al)
Up-against-the-door-sex (from @sarabeth72)

I’m making up this tag list as I go, so let me know if you want on or off this list:

Keep reading

  • Clint Barton: *introduces his wife*
  • Avengers: ... bruh
  • Tony Stark: that has got to be an agent
  • Clint Barton: *introduces his kids*
  • Tony Stark: ...those are two smaller agents
marvel characters as parents
  • natasha romanoff: cool mom who always gets the attention in parent meetings
  • bruce banner: the dad who embarrasses you by always telling stories about your childhood and makes a lot dad jokes
  • steve rogers: the one comes your baseball games and shouts "YEAH THAT'S MY SON YOU SEE THERE"
  • tony stark: who's a lot cooler than you, even your friends love him more than they love you
  • thor odinson: the one who is always in a competition with other dads
  • peter quill: the one who dances in every opportunity and asks other dads for dance-offs
  • gamora: shameless mom who is not afraid of a fight

I’ve had these lists in progress for ages, I am going to post them before they gather even more dust, because I really need to clear out my recs file! And, oh, man, I continue to love how there are just some really great fic writers in this fandom. *__*

THOR/LOKI RECS:
Wide Open by stereobone, thor/loki, nsfw, pre-movies, 7.1k
   “Do you think dreams can tell the future?”
The trials of Loki Odinsson: a saga by netla, some thor/loki implied, humor, 2.2k
   Heed now the words of Loki Odinsson, aged five hundred years and three quarters of a decade. Thor, if you have dedicated yourself to overcoming your difficulties with the written script and chosen my private parchments as your practice, put this down now or I will cut your hands off in the night and feed them to the fish! I shall know, Thor!
untitled by karuvapatta, thor/loki, ~1k
   Prompt: Shoulder rubs, here you go!
Simple by karuvapatta, thor/loki, nsfw, 1k
   In retrospect, he shouldn’t have looked.

OTHER PAIRINGS:

Two’s Company by Mikkeneko, steve/loki, sick!steve, 1.5k
   This was a chapter of his life that Steve thought he’d left behind, along with creaky humidifiers, sitting on the bleachers while the other kids played football, and ‘cure-alls’ purchased from the down-alley markets that never seemed to do much.
The Dread of Touching by zauberer_sirin, bruce/natasha, 1k
   Bruce is frightened, but not for himself.
Leaving Impressions by Kay (sincere), thor/sif, 1.1k
   The gods of the Norsemen will soon leave them, and a new god has already arrived to take their place. Sif is both relieved and concerned – and on behalf of both the Norsemen, and Thor.
just for practice by didoxidate, thor/sif, NSFW, 2.6k
   Thor has no issue with status; he has no desire to bed her just to have conquered the Lady Sif.
Music of the Spheres by Saucery, heimdall/loki, intersex!loki, 2k
   A young Loki takes to visiting Heimdall.
untitled by pro-antagonist [ mobile ver. ], thor/loki/natasha + thor/loki, NSFW, ~1k
   When Thor penetrates his brother from behind, Loki’s forward thrusts into Natasha become abruptly unfocused.
Happy Birthday, Mr. Stark by thejammys, thor/loki + tony/loki + thor & tony, NSFW, intersex!loki, 8.9k
   Tony thinks Loki wants to fuck Thor and uses his birthday as an excuse to get the three of them into bed together.
i’m the road that drives away (then follows you back home) by thinkatory, jane/gamora + ensembles, 6.5k
   But once opened, some doors aren’t so easy to close, for plenty of reasons.
Patience by tristesses, loki/natasha, NSFW, pegging, dom/sub, intersex!loki, toys, 1.5k
   When Loki’s this desperate, Natasha doesn’t even need to ask nicely.
Fisticuffs by pro-antagonist [ mobile ver. ], loki/natasha, 3.5k
   As it turned out, locking Natasha up in a pair of handcuffs in no way prevented her from putting Loki in a rear naked chokehold.
Like Vines, We Intertwine by Lise, steve/loki/natasha, NSFW, double penetration, pegging, 4.2k
   Cruelty and kindness; Loki needs both. Steve can be one but not the other. Natasha’s flexible.

HIDDLESWORTH RECS:
Eager by curds-and-wheyface [ mobile ver. ], hiddlesworth, NSFW, 3.2k
   “So eager,” Chris chided, clucking his tongue.
untitled by amberfox17 [ mobile ver. ], hiddlesworth, NSFW, ~1k
   “I don’t know how you do it,” Tom groans, throwing himself down on the bed - or, well, strictly speaking, walking to the bed and then just faceplanting into it, making the springs creak.

full details + recs under the cut!

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