thor deleted lines

Deleted lines from the Thor script #215
  • Laufey: Allfather. You look weary.
  • Odin: Laufey, end this now!
  • Laufey: Your boy sought this out.
  • Odin: Yeah, fine, whatever. We'll leave.
  • Laufey: Thanks.
  • Laufey: Hey, while I've got you here, did you happen to see a baby lying around in that abandoned temple way back there? It would have been a few years back.
  • Odin: Er... No.
  • Laufey: It's just... I've been looking for him everywhere. I didn't mean to drop him; I was just running to grab him a bouquet of snowdrops.
  • Odin: Uh...
  • Thor: *(snorts)* Pfft. Loser.
  • Loki: Yeah.
  • Loki:
  • Loki: I like snowdrops...
Deleted lines from the Thor script #216
  • Laufey: It's said you can still hear and see what transpires around you. I hope it's true, so that you may know that I'm about to moon you right now.
  • Loki: *(suddenly waves butt in Laufey's face)*
  • Loki: And YOUR mooning came from the butt of the son of Odin!
  • Laufey:
  • Laufey: It's... You've got to pull your pants down to moon someone.
  • Loki: Oh. Oh, right. Well, um... It's just that I've got this one-piece gold leather jumpsuit and it's difficult to undo all the loops and buttons at the neck and then pull everything down...
  • Laufey: You don't have a zip fastening on the groin?
  • Loki: No. I guess that's not how we like it in Asgard...
  • Laufey: Oh, it's way more convenient. All the Frost Giants have zip crotches.
  • Loki: Really?
  • Laufey: Oh yes, there's a lot of mooning on Jotunheim.
  • Odin: *(awakens)*
  • Odin: Why does it smell like butts in here?
  • Odin: Ugh; this is just like 965 AD all over again.
  • Odin: *(falls back into Odinsleep)*
Deleted lines from the Thor script #220
  • Laufey: It's said you can still hear and see what transpires around you. I hope it's true, so that you may know your death came at the hand of Laufey.
  • Loki: *(kablamo-s him with Gungnir)*
  • Loki: And YOUR death came by the son of Odin!
  • Odin: *(groggy)* Thor...? Thor's here...?
  • Loki: Er, no, it's...it's me, Father.
  • Odin: *(yawns)* Wake me up when he gets back.
  • Loki:
  • Odin: *(Odinsnores)*
Deleted lines from the Thor script #214
  • Loki: I could have done it, Father! I could have done it! For you! For all of us...
  • Odin: No, Loki.
  • Loki:
  • Loki:
  • Loki: *(plummets)*
  • Odin: *(waves hand over the abyss)*
  • *(A large trampoline appears)*
  • Loki: *(bounces back up)*
  • Odin: Thor, grab him!
  • Thor: *(attempts to grab Loki's arm; fails; flails)*
  • Loki: *(plummets once more)*
  • Loki: *(bounces back up again)*
  • Thor: *(continues to miss)*
  • *(this repeats for some time)*
  • Odin:
  • Odin: I didn't think this through.
Deleted lines from the Thor script #219
  • Loki: The Casket wasn't the only thing you took from Jotunheim that day, was it?
  • Odin: No. In the aftermath of the battle I went into the temple and I found a baby. Small for a Giant's offspring, abandoned, suffering, left to die.
  • Loki: So you took me back? How did you take us both back?Did you make two trips?
  • Odin: Er...no.
  • Loki: Well, the Casket is so huge; you would have needed both hands.
  • Odin: Well... I placed you on top of it and sort of used the Casket as a tray.
  • Loki: What?! But you've seen what it does to me - it makes me turn into *(motions to blue self)* THIS!
  • Odin: Yes.
  • Loki: Is... Is that why I get...problems when I sit down in cold places??
  • Odin: Um...
  • Loki: They nicknamed me "Pile-Loki"!!
  • Odin:
  • Loki: Why didn't you make two trips??
  • Odin:
  • Odin: *(Odinsleeps)*
Deleted lines from the Thor script #213
  • Loki: Do you think the Bifrost is the only way in and out of this realm? There are passages between worlds to which even *you*, with all your gifts, are blind. But I have need of them no longer, now that I am King!
  • Heimdall: *(puppy eyes)* You don't...You don't want the gifts I got you for Yule?
  • Loki: Er...
  • Heimdall: I wrapped it especially for you. I went all the way to Vanaheim to get your favourite wrapping paper. See? Look at the mint-coloured horses...
  • Loki: *(face softens)* Oh, thank you, my dear gatekeeper.
  • Heimdall: *(grins)*...Yes, see, they're galloping...
  • Loki: Yes, yes. I see.
  • Loki: *(smiles)*
  • Heimdall: *(laughs)* Well, open it!
  • Loki: Of course! *(unwraps it)* It's...a wolf-shaped woollen hat!
  • Heimdall: And scarf-mittens!
  • Loki: And...scarf-mittens.
  • Heimdall: You know, because, well...the winters have been getting harsher and...you're so thin and slight, I'd imagine that you must feel the cold more than others...
  • Loki: Ah, you see, well, actually—
  • Heimdall: And I just wouldn't want you to fall ill, you know? Because I do worry about you.
  • Loki:
  • Loki: I see.
  • Loki:
  • Loki: *(smiles)* Thank you, my dear Heimdall.
  • *(Awkward hugging)*
Deleted lines from the Thor script #209
  • *(Odin discovers Loki holding The Casket of Ancient Winters)*
  • Odin: STOP!
  • Loki: Am I cursed..?
  • Odin: No.
  • Loki: What am I?
  • Odin: You're my son.
  • Loki: *(turns to face him; his face is Frost Giant-blue)*
  • Loki: *(menacingly)* What *more* than that...?
  • Loki: *(sneezes)*
  • Odin: Bless you.
  • Loki:
  • Loki: *(touches Casket again; sneezes again)*
  • Odin: Bless you.
  • Loki: Oh, gods, is this going to happen every time??
  • Odin: Yes my son, I will always bless you after you sneeze.
  • Loki:
Deleted lines from the Thor script #212
  • Loki: Look at you, the mighty Thor! With all your strength! And what good does it do you now? Do you hear me, Brother? There's nothing you can do!
  • Thor: What? I can't hear you!
  • Loki: I said there's nothing you can do!!
  • Thor: *(continues walking)* Huh?
  • Loki: I saiiiid there is...nothiiing...youuuu...can dooo!!
  • Thor: *(quietly smashes Bifrost)* WHAT? SPEAK UP!
  • Loki: I SAID THERE'S NOTHING Y—
  • *(The Bifrost breaks; they both go flying)*
  • Thor: *(hanging from the Bridge)* WHAT WAS THAT AGAIN, BROTHER?
  • Loki: *(also hanging)* OH MY GODS, SHUT UP!
  • Thor: WHAT? I ALMOST HEARD YOU THAT TIME!
  • Loki: *(mentally-anguished screaming)*
Deleted lines from the Thor script #210
  • Loki: Ensure my brother does not return. Destroy everything.
  • The Destroyer: *(leaves)*
  • The Destroyer: *(stomps on Thor and Jane's sandcastle)*
  • The Destroyer: *(deletes all of Thor's game data)*
  • The Destroyer: *(eats all the chocolate out of the neopolitan ice cream)*
  • The Destroyer: *(replaces Jane's coffee with decaf)*
  • The Destroyer: *(unplugs Thor's WiFi)*
  • Loki:
  • Loki: I...
  • Loki: ...I might have gone too far.
Deleted lines from the Thor script #194
  • Loki: I will conceal you and a handful of your soldiers, lead you into Odin's chambers, and you can slay him where he lies.
  • Laufey: Why not kill him yourself?
  • Loki: I suspect that the Asgardians would not take kindly to a king who had murdered his predecessor. Once Odin is dead, I will return the Casket to you. And you can return Jotunheim to all its, uh...glory.
  • Laufey: I...accept.
  • Laufey: You know, you remind me of a son I once had. He was just a baby. Scrawny, mischievous, always scheming. Quite the wee devil. Loved walks in the snow behind the temples. I put him down for one second during a sudden siege, and then I never saw him again. I still have the snowdrops I picked for him. I had them gilded. He loved snowdrops...
  • Laufey: *(gazes wistfully into the distance)*
  • Loki:
Deleted lines from the Thor script #148
  • Thor: My friends, have you forgotten all that we have done together? Fandral, Hogun, who led you into the most glorious battles?
  • Hogun: You did.
  • Thor: And Volstagg, to delicacies so succulent you though you'd died and gone to Valhalla?
  • Volstagg: You did.
  • Thor: Yes! And who proved wrong all who scoffed at the idea that a young maiden could be one of the fiercest warriors this realm has ever known?
  • Sif: I did!
  • Thor: True, but I supported you, Sif.
  • Thor: And Brother, who stood up for you when others mocked your sorcery and did not appreciate your skills in battle?
  • Loki: Er.... No-one.
  • Thor:
  • Sif:
  • Fandral:
  • Hogun:
  • Loki: People were mocking me...?
Deleted lines from the Thor script #206
  • Laufey: You know not what your actions would unleash... I do. Go now, while I still allow it!
  • Loki: We will accept your most gracious offer. Come on, Brother...!
  • Thor: *(turns away)*
  • Frost Giant Sentry: Run back home, little princess!
  • Thor:
  • Thor: Ha! I do not run, frozen swine!
  • Thor: *(skips, pirouettes, and fouettés-en-tournants away)
Deleted lines from the Thor script #152
  • Odin: Laufey, end this now!
  • Laufey: Your boy sought this out.
  • Odin: You're right. These are the actions of a boy. Treat them as such. You and I can end this, here and now. Before there's further bloodshed.
  • Laufey: We are beyond diplomacy now, AllFather. He'll get what he came for: War and Death.
  • Odin:
  • Laufey: *(hands Thor a green-eyed, black Persian kitten)* This is Death. He likes cuddles and anything with peppermint.
  • Death: *(mewls)*
  • Laufey: And this is War.
  • Laufey: *(hands Loki a drooling, squeaking Corgi puppy)*
  • War: *(scrambles to chase his own tail)*
  • Loki: Why do I get the stupid one...?
  • Thor: *(wrestles with his billowing cape)*
Deleted lines from the Thor script #180
  • Thor: I will not fight you, Brother!
  • Loki: I'm not your brother! I never was!
  • Thor: Fine! I will not fight you, fellow Asgardian!
  • Loki: I'm not Asgardian! I never was that, either!
  • Thor: Fine! Er...
  • Thor:
  • Thor: Well, what the Hel should I call you then? If you're not my brother, and you're not Asgardian, then what are you??
  • Loki:
  • Loki:
  • Loki: *(sobs)*
  • Thor: *(sobs)*
  • *(Both hug while continuing to cry)*
Deleted lines from the Thor script #140
  • Sif: My King, we would ask that you end Thor's banishment.
  • Loki: My first command cannot be to undo the Allfather's last. We're on the brink of war with Jotunheim. Our people need a sense of continuity in order to feel safe in these difficult times. All of us must stand together. For the good of Asgard.
  • Sif: Well... what *is* your first command going to be?
  • Loki: *(thinks)*
  • Loki: *(smiles)*
  • Loki: Mandatory, daily Shakespearean monologue recitations.
  • Sif, Volstagg, Fandral, Hogun: *(all groan)*
  • Fandral: Must we...?
  • Volstagg: Really...?
  • Hogun: Daily?!
  • Loki: Ehehehehe...you cannot escape it this time! We shall start with "King Lear".
  • Loki: Good Lady Sif, since my witless oaf of a brother is no longer here, *you'll* have to play the role of Edgar.
  • Sif: But I have no cloak.
  • Loki:
  • Loki: Mother has some drapes you may use.