I knew as soon as I saw the commercials for it that I was going to go see “Far From the Madding Crowd,” an 19th century love story set in England, in the theaters. That’s like my fucking jam, yo!
As we all know, 19th century love stories are not for everybody, which is why I was a little nervous to invite my friend Julie. But Julie didn’t get freaked out at the last movie I chose, “Wild Tales,” an Argentinian film consisting of vignettes of people doing terrible things to each other. So I decided to brave it.
Ok, so “Far from the Madding Crowd.” So basically, Carrie Mulligan plays this little hobag named Bathsheba. Just kidding, she is not a hobag at all! This is an 19th century love story. She is a sharp-tongued virgin who might have become a governess if she hadn’t been so poor. Instead, she works on her aunt’s farm. By work, I mean wears denim dresses and rides around in a confident manner on her faithful mare. Through brambles, obvious.
On one of her rides, she comes across Mr. Oak, a farmer with 100 acres and 100 sheep. What a catch! Seriously, though, this guy is so fucking hot. Like, burly, sandy haired, very manly features, clearly big hands, loves dogs, loves animals, very gentle, says things to Bathsheba like, “I would never leave you.”
Bathsheba, however, is like, “If I get married to someone, I want them to tame me, and you could never do that!” And you’re like, “Bathsheba, you are a fucking idiot.” Anyway, all of Mr. Oak’s sheep are driven off a cliff by his evil dog, and Bathsheba inherits her wealthy uncle’s farm, and all of a sudden, they find their situations reversed! By which I mean Bathsheba is rich, and Mr. Oak is poor.