thomas jefferson joke

  • Lafayette: So, Alex, is Jefferson really THAT bad? There must be something you admire about him, no?
  • Hamilton: Well, I don- wait what are you doing here I thought you were in-
  • Lafayette: [ignores] Possibly, maybe, anything about him..?
  • Hamilton: [sighs] Fine. I.. guess he's kind of *whispers secret*
  • Laf:
  • Ham:
  • Ham: Please don't repeat that to any-
  • Laf: [rips out hair tie, and drops accent]
  • Jefferson: SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER
8

Since Presidents’ day and Valentine’s day are so close together, I thought it would be appropriate to make some presidential Valentine’s cards.

(I also made sure to keep them clean so that you could actually give them to people lol)

Don't ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฝ tell ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฝ me ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฝ about ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฝ the ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฝ war ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฝ if ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฝ you ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฝ didn't ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฝ fight ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฝ in ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฝ it ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฝ

Hammie is a slut and we all know it…. still love him tho

‘The Haminsults series’ - to feed my need for one liners, insults and puns - more here

My roommate trying to motivate me to wake me up

Her: You know, Alexander Hamilton would get out of bed on time

Me, mumbling into my pillow: Alexander Hamilton was far more concerned with getting into beds than getting out of them

a bastard, orphan.

a hurricane destroys all.

but he’s not done yet.

Thomas Macaroni boy Jefferson

Fun fact: The reason we can’t have any food on Congress floor or most government buildings is because of Thomas Jefferson. When Thomas came back from France after staying in Monticello he was introduced to macaroni and it wasn’t a thing here in the USA so he brought it back and he had a macaroni machine shipped to him. He Invented macaroni and cheese and Alexander Hamilton took note that Jefferson ate tons of macaroni. Well Hamilton kept a book of complaints he had for various people he had multiple pages of complaints for each person and so he wrote down every time Jefferson dropped macaroni on the floor didn’t proceed to pick it up so Hamilton wrote that Jefferson had a “macaroni problem” and needed to be dealt with so he banned food on Congress floor and called Thomas Jefferson: Thomas Macaroni Boy Jefferson. #thomasmacaroniboyjefferson

Hamilton Characters as Dad Jokes

Alexander Hamilton: What’s the difference between a frog and a horny toad? A frog says Ribbit a phony toad says Rub it!

Aaron Burr: A sandwich walked into a bar and ordered a beer. The bartender turned to him and said, “Sorry we don’t serve food here.”

John Laurens: What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!

Marquis de Lafayette: How many apples grow on a tree? All of them!

Hercules Mulligan: What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows!

Angelica Schuyler: Did you hear about the kid who invented the knock knock joke? He won the No Bell Prize!

Elizabeth Schuyler: What did the grape say when it was stepped on? It let out a little wine!

Peggy Schuyler: Don’t trust atoms they make everything up.

Thomas Jefferson: Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted!

James Madison: Why did the man give the pony a glass of water? He was a little horse.

Maria Reynolds: I’d like to give a shoutouts to all the sidewalks for keeping us off the streets!

George Washington: The extent of his dad jokes would be maybe 1 emoji.

Phillip Hamilton: 2 guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks!

King GeorgeIII: Did you hear about the guy who invented lifesavers? They say he made mint!