#36 & #1“I wish I could hate you.”“Come over here and make me.” Luke Hemmings.
Pairing: Y/N and Luke
Quick A/N: So I decided this one is going to be an A.U. about bullying. This might be a trigger for someone so read with caution AND if any of you guys need to talk about something on this subject just know my inbox is open! You aren’t alone! ♡ ♡ ♡
“What do you want, Hemminngs?” You hissed into the phone pressed to your ear. Luck flinched at the tone of your voice and from shock that you actually answered. He was planning just to leave another voicemail and now that he was actually talking to you he lost everything he wanted to say.
“I…uh…I.” He stammered, trying to find all the thoughts he had before.
“Look. I don’t have time to play games with you. Either tell me why you’ve been blowing up my phone for the last week and half or I’m hanging up. And the next time you call I won’t be answering.” You snapped, aggravated with the blonde headed boy who lost all respect from you.
“I just wanted to say sorry. For everything and I know you hate me but-”
“You know what...I wish I could hate you.” You interrupted, hearing him suck in a harsh breath at your words. “Because if I did then maybe…just fucking maybe…I would stop crying over some wanna be rock star that talks shit about someone and doesn’t care what kind of horrendous situation he puts them in.” You spat, tears building up in your eyes. “Oh and I’m sorry, was horrendous too big of a word for your douche bag head. It means-”
“I know what it means. I’m not dumb, Y/N.” Luke hissed and for the first time in weeks he actually felt anger instead of guilt. He didn’t like it.
You let out a sad and bitter laugh, sniffling afterwards. “Then you are exactly like they said you were. Fucking heartless and inconsiderate. And I’m the dumb one to think that I was different. That you wouldn’t hurt me but that’s what you had planned along wasn’t it, Hemmings? You just wanted to break my h-”
“I’m coming over and I’m gonna show you what I had planned along.” He said calmly but sternly. He was tired of the all the assumptions being made about what happen between the two of you. He was tired of you not knowing his side of the story.
“If you think I’m going to let you back into my house after what you did then you are madly mistaken.” You shot back, growing angrier by his tone.
“Oh you will. I know you will because being the person I know you are you’re going to be feeding off everything little single thing I have to say. Whether you like it or not I have you wrapped around my finger.” He paused and let out a sigh.”And you have me wrapped around yours.” And with that he ended the call.
You held the phone to your face even after hearing the beeping of the call ending and stared at the front door that he was coming to knock down. Your mind was still processing what he said. “I have him wrapped around my finger…” You puzzled not understanding how someone who was supposedly wrapped around your finger could cause you all the pain that he did.
“Told you were going to let me in.” He smirked at you once you yanked open the door seconds after he knocked. You glared at him and stepped aside as a silent invitation inside your house.
“You have ten minutes, Hemmings.” You muttered and took your seat back on the couch where your forgotten notes were left for studying later.
“Look I can’t really justify what I did and I know sorry isn’t going to help all the pain I’ve caused you but you have to understand, Y/N, I regret everything.” He confessed and you scoffed with a roll of your eyes.
“You regret what, Luke?” You asked bluntly. “Is it the pictures you posted of me in my underwear around school? What about the copies of my diary you made and posted on lockers? Or acting like you actually loved me? Which is my personal favorite.” You finished sarcastically.
“I get I did some really fucked up things, okay? I understand but not once in our…whatever you call it…did I ever…EVER…lied about loving you. Y/N you were—are the only thing that I’ve ever loved in this fucked up world.” He confessed, trying to take hold of your hand, and felt his heart break once you yanked away in disgust.
“Fuck you!” You shouted and stood from the couch. “Fuck all your lies. Fuck all the pain you caused me! Fuck you for ruining my life! You do understand that, right? YOU ruined my LIFE! So, don’t give me that bullshit about how you never lied about loving me.” You spat and pulled him up by the collar of his shirt, gripping it tightly in your hands. “I opened up to you and you judged me! God damn it! I trusted you, Luke!” You screamed not being able to hold in the tears any longer. You shoved him away and sobbed into your hands, leaving Luke flabbergasted and heart broken.
You leaned your back against the wall and suddenly slipped down once your knees gave out from the impact of your sobs. Luke stared at your broken form as he saw his whole world crashing down around him with the sound of your cries ringing in his ears.
“It…It…” He tried to start but was always interrupted by your sobs growing louder.
You brought your knees up to your chest and buried you head as far as you could, trying to block out his presence. You couldn’t control the emotions you’ve spent so long trying to lock away around him. He made you vulnerable and weak, ruining the tough facade you put on for everyone and you didn’t know if him being able to do that was a good thing.
“Y/N?” He whispered, squatting down in front of you. His hand shook as he reached out to touch your arms gently, hoping you wouldn’t shy away.
You felt his fingers brush against your skin and instantly shivered but filled with rage. “What!?” You screamed, snapping you head up and the outburst sent him falling onto his ass in surprise. “What could you possibly want?!”
“A chance to explain.” He shot back, growing aggravated with the whole situation. “A chance to tell my side of the story.”
“I already know your side of the story, Hemmings!” You hissed and pushed yourself off the ground, storming over to the door of your college apartment. “You just wanted to see me break! Well, you’ve just witnessed that. Now get-”
“Will you just shut up!?” He exploded and your hand clinched around the door nob as you flinched away.
Angry tears built up in your eyes and your felt like it was tearing in half. “Come over here and make me, asshole.” You spat and his eyes narrowed at your comeback before he stormed his way over to you. You took steps backwards the closer he got and was soon was trapped between the wall and him.
His hands pressed on the wall on both sides of your head and his face rested inches from you, huffs of breaths mixing into each other. His glossy and almost shattered with anger eyes glared into yours and the air grew thick with tension.
“I…I…” He couldn’t find the words to say cause his mind could only focus on the heat radiating off your panting figure and how close your lips were to his. “God damn it!” He shouted and punched the wall next to you and your turned your head away in fear.
His eyes soften as the sight of your scared figure and gently turned your face back towards his, quickly pressing his lips to yours. You froze in shock and felt your nails dig into your palms once his hands cupped both sides of you face and his body latched onto yours.
“I love you.” He whispered into your mouth as your eyes slowly fluttered shut and your hands slipped around his waist, tugging him closer. His lips moved perfectly with yours, the taste of salt and built up sadness danced on your taste buds.
The world was fading away. The digits of his thumbs rubbed you cheeks so softly it sent shivers coursing through you. The heat from Luke’s body was engulfing you completely and you could feel yourself slowly slipping back under his spell. But you didn’t care at the moment. The only thing you cared at bout was the softness of his lips against yours and the quietness of his voice as he whispered three little words with a big meaning over and over again.
You broke away for air and your eyes locked with his ice blue ones, breaths mixing in with each other in the small space between you. His eyes casted over your face and a small smile etched across his face, the same smile he gave you before everything went to hell.
And then you remembered…
Everything went to hell. The memories of all the slut remarks you got around the campus and how many guys has your picture hung up in their dorm for god knows what to do with later filled your head. The times you cried yourself to sleep at night because of the constant bullying you were put through. All because of one person….
“Luke.” You muttered out in a bitter tone and his smile fell. You shoved him away from you, fresh tears forming. “It’s all your fault!” You screamed at him.
“Everyone thinks I’m a slut because of you, Luke!” You cried and picked up the snow globe he got you for your birthday and chucked it at him. It flew by his head and crashed against the wall, his eyes widening in shock. “You ruined my life! I was in love with you! I WAS IN LOVE WITH YOU!” You bellowed and walked towards him, needing something to release your anger.
“Y/N, calm dow-” He started but was cut off with his head snapping to the side as your hand collided with his cheek, a stinging feeling be left afterwards.
“I wanted to kill myself because of you.” You hissed lowly and he felt his heart snap in two as he kept his stare on the wall. “I wanted to end it all because NO ONE would dare look me in the eye because they were afraid they would get slut on them.” You let out a bitter laugh. “The god damn title you gave me!” You went to punch his chest in rage but was stopped by his hands wrapping around your wrist and keeping you still in your place.
Luke’s head slowly turned back towards you and his eyes were clouded with on flowing tears as his lip trembled from strained sobs wanting to break free. It was the first time you’ve seen him with this much emotion. Especially something so venerable. He yanked you towards him by your wrist and kept your faces close together with your fist against his chest tightly.
He let out a shaky breath, closing his eyes to blink away tears and get a break from looking at the state he put you in. “It…It wasn’t suppose to get this bad.” He croaked out and opened his eyes at the end. Locking teary eyes with your own. “It was just suppose to be a prank. Something we could laugh at in a few weeks. I wasn’t suppose to…to…fall in love with you.” He breathed and pressed his forehead against your. Surprising you both you let him and even leaned in to meet him halfway. “Those assholes I use to hang out with took it too far. I knew that the minute the posted those pictures and the diary pages. I wanted to tell you what happened but you were so disgusted with me that you wouldn’t let me.” He broke off into a small sob and you let his head fall into the crook of you neck.
Your arms wrapped around and pulled him tight against you as he sobbed openly into you neck, your own tears falling against hair making it shine in the dim lighting. “Shh, baby. Just breathe.” You cooed into his ear, gently stroking his hair.
“I never meant for any of this to happen.” Luke cried, jerking his up to look at you, tears pouring from his eyes like a faucet. “I never wanted you to get hurt, Y/N. I was so stupid to think that you wouldn’t. I wanted to tell you what happened but..but…” His breath started to get heavy as he tried to force the words out. You watched the heart broken boy in front of you with soft eyes and opened arms, knowing he wouldn’t be showing this much emotion if he didn’t mean what he was saying. “You were so angry with me and I thought maybe if you hated me it would make it easier to try and not love you.” He closed his eyes and took deep breaths as you wiped away some of the fallen tears on his face. “I was wrong.” His voice cracked with sobs as his head fell back into your neck.
“It’s okay, Luke. Everything is okay, baby.” You soothed him as he hugged you closer and your voice mixed in with his sobs as he tried to calm himself down.
“Please, don’t go” He sniffled against your skin as you kissed his temple and slowly slipped to the floor with him still in your arms. “I can’t loose you again, Y/N.” He cried and you settled yourself into his lap, straddling his legs and keeping him pressed close against you.
You leaned back and cupped his face with both hands, staring him with all the love in the world. You hushed his soft sobs by kissing him tenderly and quietly whispered. “Never again.”