its a given that jack and bitty are going to be the biggest power couple in the world now that brad and angelina are out of the way but i feel like?? they’ll also be so intriguing to everyone?? like theyre so different. jacks a hockey player who wears yellow sneakers and bitty probably has a different walk in closet for each designer he wears. like they’ll go to a movie premiere or something and they’ll be asked “who are you wearing” and bitty will be like “oh yes, ralph lauren and giorgio armani collaborated to make this one of a kind suit tailored exactly to me, and these cufflinks are made from real diamond and gold and my hair was styled by god himself” and jack will be like “oh idk i got this suit from ross like a year ago haha” and bitty will just close his eyes and shake his head and walk away and jack will just follow him without a word. no one knows how their relationship works. theyre gonna be so great.
So the new Steven Universe episodes got me all messed up on Friday and then @ferisae updates “You Don’t Know Me” over the weekened so naturally my brain smashed my favorite scene and the Chat’s new dilemma into one heart wrenching mess. I honestly wish I could’ve made this a more cohesive comic. But I lack the skill. /shakes fist.
[sees Reid putting too much sugar on his mug] Easy there, tough guy. Have some coffee with your sugar.
I need something to wake me up.
Oooohhh... late night?
[grins] My man!
[shakes head] Not that kind of late night.
[laughs] Okay, so tell me, what does keep young Dr. Reid awake at night? Wait, let me guess, memorizing some script textbook. No, no, no. Working on cold fusion. No, I got it, I got it. Watching Star Trek, and laughing at the physics mistakes.
[silent for a moment] Actually, there aren't that many scientific errors in Star Trek, especially considering how long ago it was made. There are certain improbabilities but, not that many outright errors.
The thing that still makes me smile despite everything that happened and everything that broke us, is that I’d do it all again. I’d ask you for your name without thinking twice, I’d try to make you laugh, I’d blush if you smiled at me, I’d shake my head and call you silly if you told me how beautiful I was. I’d relive our first times, all the times in between, and even the last times that made me cry so hard I didn’t know how to say goodbye without choking on my tears. Still I would never choose to forget the bad days if it meant letting go of the good days as well. I would never let go of the days we spent not talking to each other, the days we fought unfairly and with no regrets, even if it meant not remembering the things that made us come apart at our seams. I would always want to remember. And I’d do it again and again and again.
“One by one, they pass by my space, too old, too worn, too broken, no way. Way past his time, he can’t run and play. They shake their heads slowly and go on their way. A little old man, arthritic and sore, It seems I am not wanted anymore.
I once had a home, I once had a bed, A place that was warm, and where I was fed. Now my muzzle is grey, and my eyes slowly fail. Who wants a dog so old and frail? My family decided I didn’t belong, I got in their way, my attitude was wrong.
Whatever excuse they made in their head, can’t justify how they left me for dead.
Now I sit in this place, where day after day, the younger dogs get adopted away. When I had almost come to the end of my rope, you saw my face and I finally had hope. You saw through the gray, and the legs bent with age, and felt I still had life beyond this place. You took me home, gave me food and a bed, and shared your own pillow with my poor tired head. We snuggle and play, you talk to me low, you love me so dearly, and you want me to know.
I may have lived most of my life with another, but you outshine them with a love so much stronger. And I promise to return all the love I can give, to you, my dear person, as long as I live. I may be with you for a week, or for years, we will share many smiles, you will no doubt shed tears.
And when the time comes that God deems I must leave, I know you will cry and your heart, it will grieve. And when I arrive at the Bridge, all brand new, my thoughts and my heart will still be with you. And I will brag to all who will hear, of the person who made my last days so dear.”
“So tell me, Miss
J,” Some strange, crazy man asks, “What makes Mister J oh so interested in you?” He breathes in my face.
I scrunch my face in disgust as I try to turn my
head away from him, but failing to do so because of the restraints I’m in. I
shake in my head-to-toe metal shackles, the feeling of claustrophobia come in.
If there’s one thing I’m afraid of, it’s feeling claustrophobic. But to show my
strength, I hide it well. I show no fear.
So much power. So many stars. My mouth tastes like smoke. “Are you holding back at all?” I ask him.
“Not consciously,” Snow says. “Is it too much?”
“No. It’s like you completed the circuit,” I say, gripping his other hand. “I feel kind of drunk, though.”
“Drunk on power?” he asks.
I giggle. “Shit, Snow. Stop talking. This is embarrassing.”
“Do you want me to pull back?”
“No. I want to look at the stars.”
“I’m pulling back,” he says.
And then he does. It feels like the tide going out - if the tide were made of heroin and fire.
I shake my head. I don’t let go of Snow’s hands.
Friendship is magic, even when those friends are hell-bent on exterminating all other life forms, just ask this geektastic Rainbow Dash Dalek (from a safe distance). Awesome father Jeremy Marbler, aka DeviantArtist ChronoSFX, made this fantastic My Little Pony Dalek cosplay costume for his 6-year-old daughter.
“My six year old daughter wanted another Doctor Who themed costume after her recent K9 cosplay and she picked a Dalek. As I was sketching the design, she was playing and yelled out “a My Little Pony Dalek!” After shaking my head, I asked “A Rainbow Dash Dalek?” “Yes!” she giggled… And then looked at me seriously and said “It’s gotta have wings.” “Wings… So it’s twenty percent cooler?” “Yes!!” And here we are.
Do you know why she dumped you? I mean she must've hurt you pretty bad.
No, no, it made no difference to me, I just wanted to set her trash cans on fire.
So are you always just like wondering, like, what was it, was there something I could've done differently? [he shakes his head] Do you know what happens to people who keep it all inside? They get old, and they get sad and they get weird and then you're the old man yelling at the kids who are running across your yard and you're telling them 'Don't run across my yard, my life's full of regret'. You know, you can't just pretend like it didn't happen.
Or I could pretend to be more like you, Luna, and live on a sparkly rainbow and drive a unicorn around and just sing all the time.
Yeah, I think you should sing all the time.
No, I was being mean, I'm not gonna do that, Luna.
Why not?! It's fun!
Because I have a penis, Luna.
[Singing] My name is Draco, I have a penis and I'm not gonna let any feelings out.
how dare you fall in love with every girl you meet?
she shakes her head, a laugh fluttering to escape under her mouth
cliché, she calls me
but how can i resist
it took me sixteen years to love myself
and i made up for it by loving too much
nobody wasn’t worth it
or, the way she put it
my flaws were so great
that everybody else seemed perfect
now that i think about it, maybe i shouldn’t have loved her
she was slow to say she loved me
but she would hold my hands, whisper to my palms
i adore you, i adore you, i adore you
another girl drank tea and didn’t eat
but she could laugh and compliment me
with her, i felt like i was safe
so i stopped listening to pop music and wore more black
and when that didn’t work she left me,
so alone and cold that i didn’t know who i was anymore
a third girl could tell me dictionary definitions of any word i asked
but took three minutes to answer when i wanted to know her favorite color
she said i stabilized her world
i couldn’t help but wonder how i could help her
when my own tectonic plates were breaking me apart
i’m not much older now but i think i know more
at least, i’ve learned that it’s okay to unashamedly scream along to pop music
and wearing bright colors won’t invalidate me
if she doesn’t want to say she loves me, i know to leave
before she can learn that she needs to lie
and i’ve tied myself together enough
to understand how i could help
because, honestly, i was right
everybody is worth loving
but if it’s breaking me at least i can tell
even if i don’t want to stop just yet
Request from anon: Hey can u make an imagine where u are dating Sammy and he was cheating on u for a while and the whole Omaha squad knew and when u found out u broke up with Sammy and stopped talking to the Omaha squad and you can go from there if that made any sense🤔..LOVE YOU SO MUCH 💜 I LOVE YOU SO MUCH TOO!
“Hey, have you guys seen Sammy?” I walked into the studio where all the guys were. They all just look at each other then look at me, shaking their heads no. “Ok? Well, I brought everyone lunch.” I walked up to the table and put the bags of food on it, “Let him know I stopped by, alright?” They all nodded and thanked me. There was a weird vibe coming from the room but I just couldn’t put my finger on it. I left the room and pretended to walk away as I stayed behind the wall, listening to them talk.
“Man, I fucking hate lying to her.” I heard G’s voice. “Yeah, how long are we going to have to keep this up?” J’s voice echoed. “I don’t know man. But I don’t think I can do it any longer. Come on. Did you see her face when we said we didn’t know where he was? She doesn’t spend a lot of time with him and when she tries to make the effort, we have to cover for him. I hate doing this to her.” Nate’s voice fills with anger. “Yeah well, what do you expect us to do? Have her back or his back? He’s been there since the beginning.” Swazi’s voice sounds in defeat. “So what, she’s not our best friend either?” J asked. “What he’s saying is, we let her find out on her own. And when she asks us, we just lie to her one last time and say we didn’t know. That’s all I’m saying.” Rupp said with his mouth somewhat full. “Man, I don’t know if I can do that. She already has a feeling of suspicion.” G said. “We’ve been lying to her for almost 2 months now. He can not bring us into this shit.” I heard Nate say before stuffing his mouth with food. “Agreed.” All the guys said simultaneously.
I quietly walked down the hall so they wouldn’t hear my footsteps and drove home. What the fuck were they talking about? What is he hiding? What the fuck is happening? I went back home and started snooping around while Sam was gone. I started looking through his side of the room, his drawers, his closet, went into his work desk, his laptop. Nothing. I finally gave up and sat on the bed. I should stop being such a crazy girlfriend and trust him. Maybe the guys were talking about something else. I looked around the room and my eyes landed on his hamper. Maybe I’ll be a crazy girlfriend for just a little bit more. I quickly got up and started digging through his dirty laundry. Gross I know but if something is up, you gotta do what you gotta do. Am I right?
I started digging through his pockets of his sweaters and pants but found nothing. I still kept digging though. I reached his last pair of pants and shirt. I picked up the shirt and dare should I, I did. I smelt it, and it smelt like perfume. I violently threw it to the ground and pick up the pants. I dug through the pockets and found a folded piece of paper. Before I could open it, “Y/N?! I’M HOME!” I heard Sam yell, closing the front door. I quickly put the paper in my pocket and dumped his dirty clothes back into the hamper. I jumped on top of the bed, just in time for Sam to open the door. “Hey baby, how was your day?” I said, pretending I wasn’t out of breath.
“Ahhhh,” He took of his shirt, throwing it in the hamper. He lied right next to me, facing me, “It was good. Thanks for lunch by the way. Sorry I missed you. Had to go do an errand with Rupp.” I looked him dead in the eyes, “Rupp? He was there when I dropped off the food?” “I mean Mac, my bad. Been calling all their names all day. So exhausted.” He put his head on the pillow and stared at the ceiling. “Well, I’m going to go cook some dinner.” I weakly smiled at him, getting up slowly. “Mmmm, I’m going to take a quick nap, okay?” He buries his face into his pillow. “Sweet dreams.” I said sweetly, with a smile on my face, closing the door. Than my face turning pissed behind the closed door, walking down stairs.
After an hour, I went onto the patio and took the note out from my pocket and opened it. A phone number and address. I took out my phone and dialed it, putting the phone to my hear, hearing it ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. “Hello?” A voice of a woman answered. I just stayed silent. “Hello? Anyone there?” She said. Tears started forming in my eyes, “Ok. I’m hanging up now.” She said and I heard dial tone. I closed my eyes as a tear fell down my face. I quickly wiped it, to a knock on the window next to me. I turned to see Sammy on the other side, “Let’s eat dinner babe.” He points to the table. I nod and watch him turn around and sit at the table, looking at his phone. I sat there, watching, feeling pain starting to grow in me. I got up and walked inside, and had dinner with him, with the biggest fakest smile.
The next day, he left saying he was going to the studio. I waited about an hour before getting into my car and driving to the address. I parked my car far enough to be unseen but close enough to see. I sat there, looking at the house. No one came in no one came out in the past hour and a half. I started falling asleep when a car pulled into the drive way. I observe the car and froze, Sam’s car. I watched him get out his car, and jog to the porch and up the porch. The door swings open, and a girl jumps on him, kissing his lips and he catches her, kissing her back. I sighed at the reality of my boyfriend actually cheating on me. I sat there and watched them make out on the front porch for a little before they took it inside. I drove back home and parked, just sitting in my car. After a few minutes, I broke down in tears. “I’m fucking pathetic. Of course he cheated on me. Who the hell would want me?!” I sobbed to myself in the car. I took in a couple deep breaths to calm myself and took out my phone.
“Hello?” “Sam?” “Hey baby what’s up?” “Can I ask you something?” I tried holding in my tears. “Yeah, what’s wrong?” “I just-I need to know- Are you-” “Spit it out Y/N.” He demanded, “Are you cheating on me?” I spat out. It went silent for a few seconds, “Are you fucking crazy? Of course I’m not. I love you to pieces! Why would I?!” He said convincingly. “Ok, sorry. I just- I wanted to make sure.” “Hey, I love you. Never forget that. I’ll talk to you when I get home tonight.” He hangs up the phone fast. “I loved you too.” I whisper. I look at my phone again, and dialed. “Y/N?” G answers his phone. “Are you at the studio?” “Yeah? What’s up?” He sounded nervous. “All the guys there?” “Yeah.” “Can you put my on speaker?” “You’re on. Hey, Y/N’s on speaker.” G says out loud. “What’s up Y/N!” “How’s it going!” “Hey baby girl, how’s it hangin?” The guys greeted me. “I need,” I took in a deep breath, “To ask you guys something.” “Shoot princess.” J said. “I need you guys to tell me the truth.” I stayed quiet for a little. “Is Sam,” I cleared my throat, “Cheating on me?” I heard all their movements stop as they stayed quiet.
“N-no! What makes you think that?” Rupp says. “I just, there’s just this feeling in my stomach,” “What’s going on Y/N?” G asks. “I always have this feeling in my gut and I just,” “You only have that feeling because your past relationships. There’s nothing to worry about okay?” Nate says. “Really? Nothing to worry about?” “Absolutely nothing to worry about. Trust.” “Trust?” “Trust.” They all said at the same time. “Maybe it’s just my nerves.” I breathed. “Thanks guys. I’ll talk to you later.” “BYE Y/N! WE LOVE YOU!” G said quickly, hanging up. I looked up from my steering wheel, “Those little shits.” I said angrily as tears started falling down my face.
After an hour and a half after calling the boys in my car, I went into the house and started packing Sam’s stuff. Everything. His clothes, shoes, books, papers, paintings, drawings, CDs, rings, every single fucking thing. I put them in boxes and put it on my front lawn. Why should I pack MY shit and leave MY house that I pay for and take care of? I’M not the one fucking cheating. I started getting angry. I went in my car and drove to the studio. I walked down the hall towards their given recording room and stood outside the cracked door, listening to them talk. I heard all the guys’ voices, then I heard 1 girl laugh, and it was not Madison’s. I felt my heart pounding, and tears coming down again. I violently pushed the door open, revealing an angry me. Everyone jumped at the door slammed against the wall and turned to see me, eyes wide open, scared. I looked at them, look at me, and searched the room and my eyes landed on Sammy with a girl around his arm. I just laughed to myself. I felt them all tense up as I slowly took steps closer to them.
Sam stood up, his hands in front of him, “Baby, I can explain.” He tries saying. “This is Jessica, she’s, uh, she’s,” “The girl you’ve been cheating with on me.” I put my hands on my hips. “It’s not as bad as it seems…” He tries saying. “I TRUSTED YOU!” I broke down in tears. “AND YOU LIED TO ME!” I started feeling a pain in my chest. “How could you do this to me?! With her?!” I pointed to the girl sitting on the couch as she gets up, “He loves me! And I love him!” She puts her hand on his chest, looking at me with dagger eyes. “NO I DON’T!” Sam yells in her face, making her step back and gasp. She scoffs, grabs her bag and walks out the studio. “Baby,”
“And you guys!” I pointed at all the guys, “ALL OF YOU, YOU LIED TO ME TOO!” “We ju-” “I thought we were family!” I cried out. “We are!” J stood up. “No! Family doesn’t do this type of shit.” “We didn’t want your feelings to get hurt…” Nate says sanding up next to me. “I’m more hurt that you kept it from me!” “It’s not like we approved of it Y/N. We wanted to tell you but we didn’t know how…” G said. “You didn’t approve but you still let him do it?!” I yelled in frustration. “We didn’t mean to cause any harm.” Rupp said, throwing up his hands in surrender, “Man, we’re not even a part of this so,” He tries stepping back, but I pull him back forward. “You guys became a part of this when you guys decided to keep THIS from me…” I wiped my tears. “I have no words for you guys anymore, but I’m done. Sam it’s okay. I’m over it. I’m over us. I’m not going to try to compete for your love anymore cause it’s obviously not working. IT’S OVER! And I’m done with all our friendships.” I pointed at all the guys, all their faces dropped when I said that. “WHAT?!” G said shocked. “What do you mean you’re done with all our friendships?!” “IT MEANS WE ARE NO LONGER FRIENDS. DON’T BLAME ME WHEN YOU GUYS WERE THE ONE THAT LIED TO ME!” Veins popping out my neck. “How could I TRUST you guys after this?! YOU LIED TO ME! ALL OF YOU! And you expect me to trust you again?! To let it go?! Fuck that! Find another bitch to manipulate!” I walked out, angry as they tried calling after me but I ignored them.
Later that night I went on twitter and saw a few posts that people were tagging me in, and rolled my eyes as I read who it tagged on.
SkateMaloley: Never turn your back on fam man. Never lose their trust. Never take them for granted. Never.
JackJackJohnson: Never lie kids. It’ll get you in a VERY sticky situation. It’ll always make you lose people you wanted to keep forever in your life.
DJRXPP: Shit man. Fuck drama. But I put this on myself this one time. We sorry fam. Real sorry. Please.
JSwazz402: Treat a queen like a queen & a hoe like a hoe. Sorry we mistreated you, queen. Please come back.
JackGilinsky: How the fuck did we fuck up so bad to one of our best friends. HOW THE FUCK. HOW
SammyWilk: Can’t take back what’s already been done. The only thing we can do is move on to the future and forget about the past, please?
SammyWilk: We love you @ yourusername JackJackJohnson: RT @ SammyWilk @ yourusername So much JSwazz402: RT @ JackJackJohnson @ SammyWilk @ yourusername So So much DJRXPP: RT @ JSwazz402 @ JackJackJohnson @ SammyWilk @ yourusername So So So much JackGilinsky: RT @ DJRXPP @ JSwazz402 @ JackJackJohnson @ SammyWilk @ yourusername We are so sorry Y/N please forgive us SkateMaloley: RT @ JackGilinsky @ DJRXPP @ JSwazz402 @ JackJackJohnson @ SammyWilk @ yourusername So fucking sorry. We love you so fucking much
YourUsername: You LIED to me. Karma is a bitch, ain’t it?
SammyWilk: @ yourusername Like I said, I love you. Never forget that.
YourUsername: @ SammyWilk whatever you say cheater/liar.
And that was the last time I have communicated with them.
“So now that the case is done, what did you want to talk about?”
Beckett watches him hesitate for a split second before he’s shaking his head in dismissal, deeming whatever it was that had made her heart flutter with hope before as “nothing important”. And then he’s telling her goodnight, strolling past her, and she should really let him go but-
“Come home with me.”
He stutters to a stop. “What?”
“For - for dinner. I just went grocery shopping the other day, I could… cook something?” It isn’t supposed to come out like a question, but he seems so uninterested, so ready to be away from her, that her confidence has shriveled into a small and fragile thing by the time the words trip past her lips. “Maybe we could watch a movie afterwards.”
For a breath of a moment, something reminiscent of excitement shimmers in his eyes, but he blinks and it’s gone, crushed under some strange scrutiny she doesn’t understand.
“Sounds like a date,” he scoffs, the observation cynical, and Beckett furrows her brow in confusion. Under normal circumstances, the mention of her and a date in the same sentence would leave his lips with glee, but now… it’s as if the idea is unthinkable.
“It could be,” she shrugs, keeping sharp eyes on his face, searching for something familiar. She finds it in the flicker of his gaze, an undeniable flare of surprise rippling through his irises.
“Why would you want that?” he demands, quietly in the middle of the bullpen, but the words bounce around her head in loud echoes, throwing her off balance.
She’s just so confused.
“I - because I thought… that’s what we’ve been working towards, hasn’t it?” she murmurs, stepping in closer, grateful when he doesn’t take a step back, because at this rate, it wouldn’t surprise her. “I mean, dating makes it sound so trivial, but it’s a start, right?”
“A start to what?”
Her fingers crawl up to her chest, curling instinctively over the tightening scar between her breasts. She couldn’t have read him wrong this entire time, could she? All those months ago at the swings, she had been sure she’d made herself clear, hinted to what she hoped for with him once she was finally ready. But now, as she’s striving to take those final steps towards him, to accept that maybe ‘ready’ is now, he’s out of reach.
“A start to what, Beckett?” Castle repeats, but her throat is thick with remorse, mourning for something she never even had.
“Us,” she gets out, diverting her eyes to the floor in momentary embarrassment, clearing her throat of the unnecessary anguish. “I thought this entire time you knew… what I wanted.”
When she glances back up, Castle is staring at her, disbelief and frustration crowding his features before he growls under his breath, scrubs a hand over his eyes and turns his back on her again.
“I have no idea what you want, Kate,” he mutters, but Kate snags him by the sleeve of his blazer. Because she knows what she wants and she’s not letting it walk out of this precinct for no reason.
“You,” she hisses, jerking him in close, curling a hand at his hip in apology when the bone scrapes against the corner of her desk, but he barely notices the pain she knows must be blooming along his waist. His eyes are intent on her and for the first time since this passive aggressive conversation began, the swirling blue irises lack accusation. So she says it again. “I want you. I’ve wanted you this entire time, Castle-”
She grunts beneath his lips when they claim hers, hard and bruising before softening into a warm, lovely press against her mouth giving into, taking from.
Until she remembers where they are.
She gives his bottom lip a trace of her tongue before she’s pulling away, flitting her eyes between his mouth and Gates’ closed office door while his hands clutch at her hips.
“Not here,” she breathes, scratching her nails along his jaw, relishing in the stubble that pricks her fingertips. “Come home with me.”
“Still going to cook us dinner?” he murmurs - no, husks in her ear, and Beckett snags one of his hands from her waist, drags him towards the elevator before she mauls him in front of a room full of detectives.
“Yeah,” she hums, reclaiming proximity once the doors slide shut on them, grazing her lips along his ear. “But first, I think I want dessert.”
After getting countless anon asks for recs, I’ve finally caved and made this list. This is, in my opinion, the cream of the crop. Happy reading! (If the author has a tumblr that I know of, I’ve linked them because many authors post ficlets here that can’t be found on AO3.)
Consider this a gateway drug into the fandom, because that’s exactly what it was to me. Exactly what it says on the tin: it takes 53 blowjobs for Pat and Jonny to finally get it together. With an absolutely spot-on Patrick voice, it’s so unbelievably… believable. You’ll find yourself shaking your head and saying, “Oh boys.”
Pat calls Jonny baby during sex and Jonny really, really likes it. “In which pet names lead to feelings, or possibly the other way around.” But, this is about so much more than that. It’s… I can’t capture in words how wonderful this is, how complex, how them. This is definitely my favorite canon fic, by far. It’ll take you on an emotional rollercoaster, but the payoff is so, so worth it. I cannot recommend it enough.
This fic… I can’t be coherent about it. It is gorgeously atmospheric and manages to capture perfectly the sensation of an impending graduation, of being at and then leaving college. It’s a gorgeous portrayal of Pat and Jonny made all the more fantastic by the fact that they play for Yale, and they’re stupid about each other. Just… read it.
Jonny is a kindergarten teacher, and Patrick is the hockey-playing father of a problematic, if adorable, little girl. This fic is just… so, so cute. But it’s also more than that. It’s about Patrick and Jonny growing as people, together, and about a slow, vaguely dysfunctional courtship that is very, very them. Just… I love this fic.
I love this. This is a trope I love, but subverted in the most beautiful of ways. It’s A/B/O where Patrick is a nontraditional alpha, and Jonny is a very nontraditional omega. Hazel weaves in interesting looks at what such classifications mean socially and politically, but at its core it’s about Pat and Jonny and how they’ve always been the perfect complement to each other.
I don’t care if mpreg isn’t your thing. This fic will make it your thing. It’s inadequate to call this curtain fic because it is so, so much more. An epic at 160k, every word of this is wonderful. You will laugh, you will cry, and you will coo at how goddamn adorable these boys are. At it’s core, it’s about Jonny wanting to take care of Pat, about them learning how to be together. It was so good I literally couldn’t put it down.
Sharpy is an evil genius and spams Pat with pictures of Jonny’s ass, and Jonny with pictures of Pat’s mouth. Naturally, this goes exactly where we’d all expect. Hot like burning, and really about them navigating sex, and everything that comes with it, together.
A gorgeous, atmospheric look that’s partially an ode to summers at a cabin, but mostly about navigating their relationship and regaining lost ground. It’s a slow, lazy exploration of what they mean to each other, and it’s beautifully done. (Also, the porn is hot. Yup. It’s demotu, what did you expect.)
Kaner becomes hysterically obsessed with getting Jonny to sit in his lap because it is absolutely unacceptable that Broshie has had that honor, and he hasn’t. Zarathuse has the best Kaner voice in this fandom, and everything about this fic is so them. You’ll probably piss yourself laughing. It’s fantastic. This fic also involves Sharpy making a video to Miss New Booty that is mostly just pictures of Jonny’s ass. Yes. Perfection.
This is just… scorchingly hot. If you’re a Jonny girl, yeah you’ll enjoy this. A lot. Beyond that, it’s a fascinating look at how magnetic the bond between Pat and Jonny is, and how they’re both incapable of resisting each other. (Also all the love for sex machine Tazer, okay.)
I don’t really know how to describe this fic? It’s Jonny negotiating a kink with himself and just epically pining after Pat because, somehow, paying Pat to do things turns him on. (Spoiler alert: it’s not really hooker kink. It has to do with ~feelings~) It’s also searingly, viscerally hot but, it’s by queeniegalore, so that’s a given.
A baby appears at Jonny’s doorstep. His name is Stanley Kane-Toews. It’s about Jonny and Pat trying to take care of a newborn baby, but also about them finally figuring themselves out. You will coo at the cute. It’s fantastic.
There’s a lot of buddyfucking in this fandom. This is the very best. “It turns out that buddyfucking your best friend without shit getting weird requires constant vigilance.” Spoiler alert: shit gets weird. Feelings happen. It’s wonderful.
Jonny decides that the best way to prank Sharpy is to trick him into thinking that he and Pat are dating. Pat gets on board with the promise of playoff mullets. Somewhere along the line, they aren’t pretending anymore.
There are quite a few genderswap AUs. This one is my absolute favorite. It tackles, realistically, the consequences of being a woman in a man’s world, and the dynamics between Pat and her boys is perfect. Also, all my love for girl!Sid and Geno, as will as girl!Segs. I adore this to pieces, every part of it. Even if genderswap AUs aren’t your thing, give this a shot - you won’t be disappointed.
summary: you and ashton are broken up and you drunk dial him
“Hey, give that- Heeeeyyyy, you look a lot like my boyfriend, did you know that?” I asked the man standing in front of me.
I noticed he was looking at the counter and I glanced back to see that his eyes were on my masterpiece. I hadn’t noticed earlier, but I’d written Ashton’s name over and over. “You like it? I’m the next Picasso.” I told him proudly.
He sighed. “Come on, princess, let’s get you home.” He said, putting one arm under my legs and another near my head to lift me up and off the seat I was in.
“You sound just like him too!” I cried out unbelievingly.
I saw him shake his head but I was getting really tired. Being in his arms just made me sleepy, so I snuggled up to his chest and shut my eyes.
“We.. we can’t go yet.. Santa’s coming to give me my..” I fell asleep before I could finish my sentence.
I woke up the next morning with the worst headache I’d had in a long time. Rubbing my eyes tiredly, I turned to my side to see Ashton sleeping peacefully next to me.
I tried to sit up and recall the events that happened the previous day. I could remember bits and pieces but not everything.
I remembered the fight, I remembered our breakup, I remembered drinking. But that was it. I couldn’t remember how I’d gotten home or why Ashton was with me.
As I sat up, he stirred in his sleep. I watched his eyes open slightly, wincing from the light.
“Morning.” He said, smiling up at me.
“Wh-why am I here? How did I get here?” I asked him.
Ashton explained the events that occurred after I called him and he didn’t pick up, filling in the gaps and answering my questions.
When he finished, he clapped his hands together. “Breakfast? I’m starving.”
I was hesitant. “A-ash.. We broke up yesterday.” I told him and he sat back down on the bed.
“Well. technically we didn’t. You said we should but I didn’t agree. Neither of us confirmed it.”
“Do you think we should? We’ve been fighting a lot recently. Over the smallest things, too.”
He ran his hand through his hair, something I knew he did only when he was nervous about something.
“All couples fight..”
“But we fight more than we’re supposed to!”
He lifted his head to look me in the eyes. “Do you want to break up? Because I’m trying to salvage this relationship and all you’re doing is coming up with more reasons as to why we need to break up.” His tone was harsh but I could tell he was hurt.
“I’m sorry, Ash. I do want to be with you, you should know that I love you. It’s just that we keep fighting and I hate that I hurt you when we fight. I say things impulsively and I’m pretty sure most of the time we fight for the sake of it.” Tears were threatening to spill from my eyes and I wanted to wipe them away but my hands were gripping the sheets so tight my knuckles were turning white.
Ashton reached out to pull me into his lap, slowly making my hands release the sheets so he could lace his fingers with mine.
“But at the end of the day, we both love each other. Isn’t that all that matters?” He lifted his hand to my face to wipe the few escaped tears rolling down my cheeks.
“It hurts, Ash.. It hurts when we fight and scream and hurl things at each other..”
He sighed, wrapping his arms around me and placing a sweet kiss on the exposed skin of my neck.
“I’m sorry, baby. I know it does, but I think if we keep telling ourselves that fighting is pointless and just enjoy being together, it’ll all be worth it. It’ll be okay, I promise.” He said, planting another kiss, this time on my lips.
I decided not to fight him any longer and returned the kiss, pouring all my emotions into it.
I shivered slightly as his hands travelled up and down my sides and I gripped his shoulders and neck as he laid us back down on the bed.
“Ash, what about breakfast?” I asked in between kisses. I was pretty hungry.
“Breakfast can wait.” He said, leaving a trail of kisses on my neck, making my breath hitch in my throat.
“O-okay.” He chuckled at how breathless I sounded.
Hitting him on the back playfully, I turned to the side to give him more access to my neck and spotted something across the room.
Frowning, I pointed at it. “Ash, what is that?” I asked.
He stopped kissing me for a second to turn to look at what I was pointing at. “Oh.” He said, turning back to grin at me. “You told Santa you wanted it, I thought I would get it for you.”
I glanced back at the ginormous stuffed bunny sitting in the corner of the room before turning back to him to press our lips together again.
“You totally like him!” Shawn accuses me as we’re sitting backstage before the Magcon event begins. My cheeks flame up and I shake my head vigorously but no amount of denying it will sway Shawn’s thinking. The door behind us opens and Aaron enters.
“Aaron!” Shawn exclaims. “Leah likes Nash."
My cheeks burn an even brighter red. Aaron turns to look at me and grins at me. I shake my head at the two boys. Thankfully as the rest of the crew trickles in they drop the subject.
I figured that would be the end of the taunting but I was wrong. The entire event Aaron and Shawn made hints about Nash and I. Thankfully Nash seemed oblivious but the rest of the guys unfortunately seemed to catch on.
By the end of the event I was annoyed and sick of all their taunting so I hurried back up to my room, not really waiting at all for the other boys. I slid my key card into the keyhole and pushed the heavy door open. It swung shut behind me as I launched myself onto my bed, not even bothering to change.
I heard someone knock on the door but I was too lazy to answer. My phone chimed on the bed next to me. I glanced at the lock screen and saw it was a new message from Aaron. I didn’t even bother looking at it I was so tired.
I was in that half awake, half asleep stage when the door to my room flung open, startling me wide awake. I fell off the bed in fright as Mahogany marched into the room followed by the rest of the boys, minus Nash.
"Leah, what are you doing?” Shawn asks. “We’re been texting you for like an hour.”
I pick up my phone off the bed and glance at the lock screen. I have 10 missed calls and 23 texts from Aaron and 40 texts from Shawn not to mention the dozens of other texts from the rest of the boys. I groan, throwing my phone down on the bed.
“I was asleep.” I whine.
“Well wake up because guess what?”
“Nash likes you.” Cam grins, cocking an eyebrow.
“Really?” I ask.
“Yea, I asked him myself.”
“Well that’s fab and all but I’d really like some sleep so if y'all could just turn off the lights and close the door on your way out it would be amazing.” I flop back down on the bed and close my eyes. As soon as I get comfortable, Shawn pulls me back up to a standing position and drags me out the door.
I stumble along behind him as he marches through the hallway, stopping outside of Nash’s door. My eyes go wide and I shake my head furiously. Shawn just grins at me evilly.
“Shawn, no.” He grabs my arm and pulls me towards the door. “Shawn cut it out, what the hell are you doing. This is stupid.”
Shawn doesn’t listen to me as he opens Nash’s door, shoves me inside and quickly slams the door shut, leaving him on the other side. Nash’s head peers around the corner at me and I stare at him dumbfounded.
“You alright, Leah?” he asks. “You look a little dazed.”
“Yea,” I say, rubbing my temples. “I just woke up and I’m not 100% sure how I got here.”
“Sounds like some of the boy’s meddling.”
“Probably an accurate guess.”
He invites me inside saying he was just about to watch a movie and he through the rest of the guys were coming but he got a text they were all going to bed. We both settle on his bed as the opening credits of the film begin to roll.
“So where did you disappear to after the show?” Nash asks.
“I was tired so I just headed right up to my room and fell asleep.” I reply laughing. “Then the boys all stormed my room and woke me up.”
“They’re crazy sometimes.”
A loud thump comes from the hallway. Nash and I shoot each other a confused look as the front door opens and Cam waltzes in. He smirks at the two of us sitting on Nash’s bed, making me roll my eyes.
"Have you guys gotten together yet?” Cam asks, eyeing the two of us.
“Cam,” Nash hisses, his cheeks burning. “I didn’t want anyone to know!"
"Calm down,” Cam scoffs. “She likes you too."
With that Cam makes a swift exit leaving Nash and I sitting there in silence. Finally after a few minutes I glance over at Nash and see him biting his lip nervously and staring back at me, making my cheeks blush.
"Is what Cam said true?” he asks. “Do you like me.”
I search his face before finally nodding. The corner’s or Nash’s lips curl up into a small smile and he closes the space between us with a kiss. When he pulls away we’re both smiling like idiots.
“I’ve had a bit of a crush on you since you first started coming to the Magcon shows.” Nash admits, making his cheeks go a darker red.